Enneagram 3 Discussion (INTP) (5w6)

Summary

In this discussion, the creator Skimmerlit provides an introspective look into the complexities of being an Enneagram Type 3, exploring the nuances of self-worth, success, and societal perception. Despite identifying primarily as a 5w6, the creator delves into the 'threeisms' that resonate with them, highlighting the conflict between material success and the need for social validation. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, Skimmerlit unveils the inner turmoil of balancing personal ambition with societal expectations, touching upon themes like self-esteem, life achievements, and the comparative mindset inherent in Enneagram 3 personalities.

Highlights

• Exploration of Enneagram 3 traits through personal experiences 🎤.
• The conflict between material success and social approval as driving forces 💸❤️.
• Challenges faced in academic and professional settings when competing with high achievers 📚🏅.
• Personal anecdotes reveal the struggle of self-perception versus public perception 📖.
• Therapeutic approaches to managing Enneagram 3 traits and their impacts on mental health 🧘‍♂️.

Key Takeaways

• Understanding the core motivations of Enneagram 3 can provide insight into personal struggles and societal pressures 🌟.
• Enneagram 3s often grapple with balancing material success with social validation, leading to inner conflict 🤔.
• Personal growth and self-acceptance are ongoing challenges often addressed in therapy for those identifying with Enneagram 3 🧠.
• Competitive nature and the desire for recognition can have both positive and negative effects on self-esteem among Enneagram 3 personalities 🏆.
• Realizing self-worth beyond societal standards and achievements is a pivotal journey for Enneagram 3 ✨.

Overview

In the ever-complex arena of personality types, Skimmerlit delves into their experience with the Enneagram 3 identity. This discussion isn't just an exploration of traits but a raw, personal narrative that dives deep into the psyche of someone balancing between self-worth, societal admiration, and material success. Through insightful storytelling, Skimmerlit reveals the intricate dance between these forces, offering a window into the mind of a personality often misunderstood.

The conversation progresses as Skimmerlit opens up about personal achievements and setbacks that painted their journey. Delving into the academic and professional realms, they share the raw emotion of standing with 'giants' in their field and the feelings of inadequacy that sometimes emerge. This reflection is not just about the struggle but also the indomitable spirit of pushing boundaries, a trait powered by the Enneagram 3 drive for excellence and social recognition.

Skimmerlit's narrative takes a therapeutic turn as it leans into how the Enneagram lens aids self-awareness and healing. The discussion outlines how the pursuit of understanding self beyond achievements can shift perspectives, allowing Enneagram 3 personalities to redefine success. It's a journey towards self-compassion and embracing one's inherent worth, beyond external validations, beautifully captured in their reflections.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction and Purpose The chapter "Introduction and Purpose" explores the Enneagram Type Three personality, not by providing an exhaustive analysis but through personal observations and experiences. The author aims to share insights into 'threeisms'—traits and behaviors associated with this personality type—while also expressing a desire to integrate personal life experiences into their content more frequently.
• 00:30 - 01:30: Personal Enneagram Experience and Tri-type The author discusses their personal experience with the Enneagram typology, particularly focusing on their type which is a 5w6. They mention having worked intermittently on figuring out their tri-type over the past year. Although they are certain about being a type five, they mention their two most common tri-types as 593 and 582. Multiple tests have been utilized over a long period to reach these conclusions.
• 01:30 - 03:00: Material vs Social Success The chapter titled 'Material vs Social Success' explores the idea of different types of success, emphasizing the contrast between material wealth and social achievements. It touches upon the internal struggle with identifying values, mentioning the uncertainty between being guided by the heart or the gut. There is a reflection on the significance of certain traits that have not only been present for a long time but have also become more pronounced over time.
• 03:00 - 04:00: Conflict Between Personal Worth and External Validation The chapter focuses on the internal conflict individuals face between realizing their own worth and seeking validation from external achievements. The narrator reflects on how their upbringing has influenced their self-esteem, particularly through associating self-worth with material and social success. They acknowledge these drives as possibly misaligned with their true self, indicating a struggle to reconcile their personal values with imposed societal expectations.
• 04:00 - 04:30: Impact of Financial and Academic Disappointments This chapter explores the relationship between self-esteem, independence, and ultimate achievement. It argues that self-esteem is not necessarily linked to independence or power but is more related to social and material success. Being loved and achieving social success are portrayed as crucial ends in themselves.
• 04:30 - 06:00: Comparison and Self-Esteem Issues The chapter discusses the intricate relationship between social success, love, and material success. It highlights a common belief that social acceptance, admiration, and love are intertwined with financial achievements. Despite the allure of material success, it is suggested that true fulfillment may not be achievable without social validation.
• 06:00 - 08:30: Professional Challenges and Feelings of Insecurity Chapter explores the paradoxical relationship between money and love, highlighting the dissatisfaction with both wealth without genuine connections and love without financial stability. It challenges the conventional notion that love is all you need, suggesting that both emotional and financial aspects contribute to one's overall sense of security and satisfaction.
• 08:30 - 10:00: The Challenge of Finding Self-Worth The chapter explores the struggle of finding self-worth and self-esteem when they are tied to external validation, specifically through material and financial success. The narrative questions the reliability of such superficial measures, hinting at a deeper search for internal validation and self-acceptance.
• 10:00 - 12:00: Enneagram as Personal Reality This chapter explores the concept of personal reality through the lens of the Enneagram personality theory. It discusses the importance of authenticity in one's motivations, emphasizing that love and admiration should not be sought for material gain, but rather for genuine moral and charitable reasons. The author reflects on the idea that receiving admiration for writing, while financially unprofitable, can still be meaningful if it aligns with true personal values.
• 12:00 - 13:30: Conclusion In the conclusion, the speaker expresses gratitude for the audience's support of their videos. Despite this appreciation, they feel a sense of apology and concern that they might be misleading viewers, even though logically, this notion doesn't make sense. This internal conflict is causing agitation for the speaker.

Enneagram 3 Discussion (INTP) (5w6) Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 what's going on boys today we're talking a bit about Enneagram three not a comprehensive look at Enneagram three but more a discussion or some observations on threeisms partially because I am not the best Enneagram person and partially more importantly through the lens of my life because I want to do more Vlog but
• 00:30 - 01:00 I feel obligated to produce typology content anyway my Enneagram normal is 5w6 I've been on and off working on figuring out my tri-type for the last year or so and while five is absolutely there my two most common try types are 593 and 582 Now using multiple tests over a long
• 01:00 - 01:30 time I'm still unsure about nine or eight but I am certain it's three not two and I think the heart the three is higher than the gut the eight or the nine and I'm establishing that because what I think are the three traits not eight have not just been there for a long time but have become Amplified in
• 01:30 - 02:00 the last two years and those traits and their amplification are what I want to talk about because they are very different from My Five drives so because of the way I was raised I tend to tie self-esteem to material and social success and the reason I think that drive is more of a three thing than
• 02:00 - 02:30 an eight thing is because that self-esteem has nothing to do with Independence or the ultimate achievement of strength or power or anything like that strength or power or whatever in this framework would be the means not the ends and material and social success are intertwined those are both the ends but social success being loved is the
• 02:30 - 03:00 ultimate end but that social success that love doesn't feel real without material success so let's say I were to make a million dollars that wouldn't make me feel good inside at least not without or at the cost of social love social admiration social acceptance and that's a pretty standard
• 03:00 - 03:30 pretty popular idea money doesn't mean anything if people don't love you but where it gets confusing for me is the inversion of that also feels unsatisfying let's say everyone loves you but you are a broke schlubby bum that situation still feels bad even though in theory social programming you're supposed to
• 03:30 - 04:00 feel good so I'm in a weird spot in which my self-esteem relies on your love that I earned primarily through material financial success and this is maybe in contrast with the five elements because I can look at that and know it's nonsense that makes no sense in fact even if I were to
• 04:00 - 04:30 achieve those two ends in the way I want to that love would be shoddy because it would be founded on material financial gain not moral anything not charitable anything nothing no sense you could provide me admiration for my writing and it would feel bad to me because I'm making no money with my writing a number of you are very kind to
• 04:30 - 05:00 me regarding my videos and I appreciate that but these videos are not producing anything tangible so I feel like I have to apologize like I'm cheating or deceiving you and even though that makes no sense on any level that's how I feel and it is agitating particularly because that feeling has
• 05:00 - 05:30 life effects there have been two relationship availabilities dropped in my lap the last few months and I have spit on both of them now part of that is because I really didn't like them did not see a future with them so why start anything in the first place but another part of it a part I'm becoming concerned about is feeling like
• 05:30 - 06:00 I'm not worth anything and this is another confusing element contradiction and split because on the soul level I feel I am worth everything I serve all purposes I can look at all my accomplishments personality traits and feel good about myself but then on another level I'm not sure how to
• 06:00 - 06:30 categorize social PLUS Financial Plus material plus whatever else isn't concise and doesn't cover everything but whatever that category is that category that level I feel slash have been feeling worthless I was working my ass off doing lots of work for no money can't publish a book can't grow a
• 06:30 - 07:00 channel can't get into a PhD program which was a huge blow let me talk about that for a second the degree to which not getting into a PhD program hurt surprised me and this ties back into the three thing because it wasn't just the not getting into the program that hurt it was the way I didn't get into the program that hurt people say when you get into college you won't feel
• 07:00 - 07:30 so special didn't happen I still outperformed people then people said the same thing about Masters still didn't happen I still outperformed people but then when I compete for the PHD spot I'm competing with people who are from a different planet basically not just academically but also maybe more importantly financially socially
• 07:30 - 08:00 multi-millionaires heads of companies entrepreneurs successful authors successful artists some older than I am some younger than I am both humiliating in different ways I was a nothing and I lost like a nothing if I had never met any of my competitors and just didn't make it in I wouldn't feel half as bad but the fact I saw the people weighed against me
• 08:00 - 08:30 and I was found severely lacking stung and I think that has something to do with three instincts because it wasn't losing the race that bothered me it was looking weak and losing that bothered me feeling like a loser standing around winners is what
• 08:30 - 09:00 bothered me that feels like a trap because if you try to compare yourself to every person you are going to lose something somehow even if it's a small loss and those small losses will add up not to mention a big loss getting getting just blown the out by your
• 09:00 - 09:30 Bettors and even when you compare yourself to others and win it doesn't feel like a win because your superiors the people you can't beat are out there just their theoretical existence is threatening and I brought up the turning down relationships thing because I suspect that subconscious threat
• 09:30 - 10:00 might be affecting me in less noticeable ways not just feeling distressed all the time because I can trick myself or could trick myself in those instances saying well I don't like them anyway and that is true but if the real reason is feeling undeserving then at what point are you deserving the answer isn't a
• 10:00 - 10:30 at this point I will be deserving thing and it certainly isn't a learn to accept yourself thing either people with X issues try to tell people with why issues just to stop having why issues all the time and then get frustrated and
• 10:30 - 11:00 make excuses when people with why issues tell people with X issues just to stop having X issues this is something that for me therapy helped manage but did not make go away it's similar to the comparing yourself to people thing everyone says don't compare yourself to people and you can try not comparing yourself to people but it feels like a cope because you
• 11:00 - 11:30 know your Bettors are still out there you're just burying your head in the sand you can realize being in an imaginary competition is hurting you but pretending you aren't in that competition is also hurting you do you want to lose trying or lose not trying I think the fixation on
• 11:30 - 12:00 competition and output particularly in others perceptions is a means of distinguishing threes from eights eights seem to say as long as I am X enough you can't touch me I don't care do whatever you want think whatever you want threes seem to say I am more X than
• 12:00 - 12:30 you or if I'm not more X than you then I am more Y and Z and a than you and I'll bet I can be more X than you please praise me oh God there's an extreme and distinguishing superficiality there example soon I will be moving up and making more money than I ever have but it'll be a little less
• 12:30 - 13:00 than they promised not as egregious as last time but still less and I can't prove it because I'm stupid and didn't get paperwork and trusted them and it'll still be good money and I did negotiate a makeup kind of thing so it's not that bad but I still feel stupid and I still feel like I look stupid I do look stupid
• 13:00 - 13:30 what's happening right now is what I did not pursue the other job over almost the exact same thing on a smaller scale and I can equalize it as much as I want it's still getting smacked in the face once saying that's not going to happen again and then getting smacked in the face again that makes me feel bad and insecure especially considering
• 13:30 - 14:00 the money I'll be making will be about what a mid-level coder makes not even a high level coder superficial title wise I will be an executive director making money equal to a standard ass programmer and that's assuming I don't get double in the next short while I think humiliation is a big part of this
• 14:00 - 14:30 because it's fired up my compensation array when I was Mr giggy schlubby there were a number of things I didn't give a about titles included because I felt I wasn't I was so low on the totem pole of life I wasn't even fighting now that I feel I have a dog in the fight that itty bitty we're gonna pay you a
• 14:30 - 15:00 little less thing made me feel threatened as a human or as an ego as an ego so to compensate not even to anyone else internally I started caring about my title more I started strategizing ways to support people while beating them started lifting again going for
• 15:00 - 15:30 hypertrophy one because it looks better two because I am still emotionally and neurologically afraid of heavy ass weight and I am afraid of my fear of heavy ass weight and this is all to compensate egotistically for something that in the big picture doesn't matter or it shouldn't matter because it does matter for someone else
• 15:30 - 16:00 it wouldn't matter for me it does even though it shouldn't I feel I'm undeserving of acceptance and love unless I can pay for it with money and social currency there's an Enneagram 3 video of I think a preacher talking about threes and the way once you get them to realize
• 16:00 - 16:30 they can be loved for themselves not just their output they'll break down crying and that would be a beautiful realization if it were true but you cannot escape the human leaderboards and their effects on your life maybe you can change how you feel about it a little bit but you can't
• 16:30 - 17:00 change reality but the reason I'm discussing Enneagram and all these things through the Enneagram lens is I think Enneagram is a person's reality as in I'm talking about all these things as if they are the one and only reality but if you took a four what they view as fundamental reality would be absolutely
• 17:00 - 17:30 different not just their feelings about it but what they think base reality is I'm starting to ramble now Enneagram is important I locked in three in my tri type and I'm trying to understand it it seems threes and eights use similar things to get to different places for different reasons and we are realizing we are writing the cope
• 17:30 - 18:00 carousel eternally inferior going around and around trying to outdo Shadows of people because you feel threatened by Shadows of better people but that about rippity raps this one I hope you enjoyed watching so I certainly enjoyed making it like if you enjoyed because it helps me out a lot subscribe if you haven't because we do this sometimes and comment your thoughts because I love hearing from you info on threes what you got thanks again for watching everybody really we have a lot of fun on this
• 18:00 - 18:30 channel so much fun in fact you can spin it around really fast until you're dizzy and you fall over from all the distressing spinning fun ction we have on this channel and I look forward to doing this with you guys again in the future