find your OWN identity and STAND on that

Summary

Highlights

• Ferly passionately discusses the importance of being oneself and not changing to fit others' standards. 💯
• She shares insights on how societal pressures can lead to loss of identity. 🙅‍♀️
• Ferly humorously talks about fashion trends and how they shouldn’t dictate personal style. 👗
• The video emphasizes the foolishness of altering oneself to gain acceptance. 😂
• Ferly offers a personal story about the pressures of adhering to relationship stereotypes. ❤️
• She concludes by encouraging viewers to embrace their unique traits and interests. 🌟

Key Takeaways

• Be true to yourself and don't change for others! 💪
• Embrace your individuality, it's liberating and fun! 🎉
• Authenticity attracts genuine connections. 🤝
• Society's standards are often ridiculous, ignore them! 🚫
• Stop pretending to be someone you're not, it's exhausting! 😩
• Find joy in who you are and stand firm in it! 🕺

Overview

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction: What Men Want vs Being Yourself In this chapter, the focus is on understanding what men actually want in relationships, as discussed on TikTok. The chapter highlights the irony of men telling women what not to do, yet not explaining what they want, suggesting an effort to help women. It advises against changing one's appearance, speech, interests, or wardrobe solely for the approval of a man, labeling such actions as foolish. The emphasis is on being true to oneself rather than conforming to an ideal for someone else's approval.
• 00:30 - 01:00: The Mistake of Changing for Approval Chapter Summary: The chapter 'The Mistake of Changing for Approval' emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself. It discusses the common mistake people make when trying to impress or get approval from others, such as a crush or a potential friend, by changing who they are. Instead of altering oneself to gain approval, the chapter advises embracing authenticity and being genuine, as attempting to change for others is not only exhausting but also unnecessary. True connections are formed when individuals are sincere and true to themselves.
• 01:00 - 01:30: Welcome and Introduction to the Topic This chapter serves as an introduction to the channel and sets the tone for discussing how people often change themselves to fit into relationships or situations that aren't truly suitable for them. The host expresses disbelief and criticism towards this tendency and hints at a more in-depth discussion on the topic in the following sections.
• 01:30 - 02:30: The Trap of Conforming and People Pleasing In this chapter, the focus is on the trap of conforming and people-pleasing behavior, illustrated through an enthusiastic and repetitive call to action to like, comment, and subscribe to a channel. The narrator emphasizes knowing the audience will enjoy the content, almost predicting their responses and compelling them to follow prescribed actions. This reflects the broader theme of how individuals often seek validation and acceptance by adhering to others' expectations, which can lead to a cycle of conformity rather than authentic self-expression.
• 02:30 - 03:30: The Freedom of Individuality The chapter discusses the growing concern about the perceived lack of individuality among Generation Z, especially those who are active online. It highlights how social media culture often leads to a collective mindset, where trends such as skinny jeans become a uniform rather than a personal choice. The chapter illustrates this with an example where a girl decides to wear tankinis instead of the popular bikinis, showcasing an attempt to break away from mainstream fashion choices. This reflects the broader theme of individuality being overshadowed by peer conformity and the pressure to follow trends.
• 03:30 - 04:30: Lessons from Middle and High School The chapter 'Lessons from Middle and High School' reflects on the importance of individuality and the freedom that comes with doing what one truly desires. It encourages moving away from seeking approval by copying others' actions or choices, especially throughout the middle and high school experience. The emphasis is on the personal empowerment that comes from being oneself rather than conforming to external pressures and trends.
• 04:30 - 06:30: Real Friends vs Fake Metrics of Friendship The chapter discusses the suffocating nature of living life trying to please others or follow trends set by others. It emphasizes the importance of authenticity and wearing what you want, regardless of others' opinions or trends set by influencers like Alex Earl. The speaker candidly states that nobody truly cares about your personal choices because everyone is ultimately concerned with their own lives.
• 06:30 - 10:00: Gender Expectations and Personal Experience The chapter explores the theme of gender expectations through the lens of personal experiences. It highlights how individuals live their own lives independently and points out that societal attention to personal choices, such as clothing, is often fleeting. Using the example of someone choosing to wear a bikini in a world where tankinis have become fashionable, the chapter underscores the idea that judgments based on gendered expectations are transient and personalized experiences are paramount.
• 10:00 - 13:00: The Futility of Changing for Relationships The chapter delves into the unnecessary and futile attempts individuals, especially younger people, make to change themselves to appeal to others. It highlights the societal pressures faced by individuals trying to conform to the interests and preferences of a potential romantic interest, such as pretending to like certain activities or changing one's appearance, only to be liked by someone else. The narrator emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself rather than altering one's personality or habits to meet external expectations.
• 13:00 - 16:00: Embracing Personality and Personal Validation This chapter discusses the pressure of fitting in and seeking validation through material possessions, like makeup or a Stanley cup, to be accepted by certain groups or be perceived as 'cool.' It reflects on the ridiculousness of these societal expectations and the stress of conforming to superficial standards of popularity. The title 'Embracing Personality and Personal Validation' suggests a shift towards valuing one's own individuality over external approval.
• 16:00 - 19:30: The Pitfalls of Seeking External Approval This chapter, titled "The Pitfalls of Seeking External Approval," discusses the dangers and negative consequences of altering one's true self for the sake of gaining approval and acceptance from others. It highlights how the desire to be liked and respected can lead individuals to change vital aspects of themselves, such as wearing specific designer outfits or adhering to perceived societal expectations, ultimately falling into a trap that is deemed foolish and unnecessary.
• 19:30 - 25:00: Final Thoughts on Authenticity and Independence In this chapter, the focus is on the importance of authenticity and being true to oneself. It argues against changing oneself to gain the approval of others, emphasizing that it is futile to present a false version of oneself. The key takeaway is to embrace who you truly are in order to attract people who appreciate you for your true self, rather than trying to conform to someone else's expectations and ultimately living a lie. Being oneself is crucial to forming genuine and meaningful connections.

find your OWN identity and STAND on that Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 ladies here's what men actually want i was here on TikTok guys talking about you don't need to do these things but I never hear a guy talking about so I think that means they're officially trying to like help help help me help changing the way you look the way you talk the things you listen to your outfits whatever the hell for one person's approval is so freaking stupid
• 00:30 - 01:00 please just be yourself it's literally exhausting not to i understand wanting or desiring a specific person a specific friend group or like you know to be around like specific people or whatever and be like "Okay I like these people." Right but a mistake that I feel like so many people make when like trying to like talk to somebody be like "Oh I want to get my crush to like me or like or I want to befriend this person or whatnot or what have you." There's always this like oh so what do I have to do what do I have to change about myself in order for that person to think that I'm like enough and to think that I'm good but if
• 01:00 - 01:30 you don't realize how stupid that is give me the next couple of minutes to tell you give me the next couple of minutes to drag you for filth okay but before we get into that hi guys welcome or welcome back to the channel of the girl who yaps amongst other things and for today's video I'm going to be yapping okay yapping about how people are way way too willing to bend and shift and mold themselves into somebody different to be with people who were never meant to be with them in the first place whether that be friends whether that be partners whether that be jobs opportunities whatever it is it does not make sense to do that oh before you
• 01:30 - 02:00 continue I can tell you're going to like this video i can tell you're going to like my channel i can tell you're going to be obsessed with me and you're going to love me and you're going to eat this video up so before you continue like like the video do it right now do it right now do it right now do it right now like like it comment comment on the video comment comment comment subscribe hit the subscribe button hit the hit the hit the hit the hit the bell hit the bell so you don't so so you know every time I upload okay do that before cuz I can tell I can tell you're going to like the video okay as a fortune teller I know you're going to like it so So So like it like it now okay okay okay okay
• 02:00 - 02:30 one thing I've been hearing a lot of conversation about recently is the lack of individuality especially amongst like Jenzers or like people who are like online or whatever where like you know what I mean like you'll see this thing where it's like everyone like "What are we wearing?" wearing this are skinny jeans back are skinny jeans oh my god are skinn just not ready i'm not ready for skinny jeans to be back i'm not and then oh my god this thing last week this thing like last year where this girl was like I think she wanted to wear like tankinis or something for like the summer she's like "Oh I'm going to wear tankinis instead of like bikinis or something." And then then someone else was like "I did not go shopping for a
• 02:30 - 03:00 bunch of bikinis just for teninis to be back." What the [ __ ] y'all god damn god damn god damn and it's just like oh my god be a freaking individual do what you want i don't think you understand how freeing it is to literally just do what the heck you want regardless of what every other freaking person is doing we are not meant to follow every single thing that everybody else is doing in order to gain everybody else's approval
• 03:00 - 03:30 that is suffocating a life like that is suffocating take it from someone who was a former people pleaser a life like that is suffocating okay you don't need to wait for freaking Alex Earl to put on skinny jeans for you to put on skinny jeans put them Put the damn jeans on if you want to wear the jeans okay put it on okay oh I can't wear bikinis cuz the girls are not wearing bikinis this summer who gives a crap who cares literally who cares nobody this is going to sound a little bit harsh but you need to hear this okay no one cares about you no one cares okay everybody has their
• 03:30 - 04:00 own life they're living god you you get me you get me everyone has their own life they're living i have my own life I'm living you have your own life you're living no one is going to like see you on the street wearing a bikini and then be like "Oh my god." for the next five months be thinking about the fact that they saw you in a bikini when tankinis the tankinis are what's in in 2025 everyone's wearing tankinis and this this ridiculous stupid foolish [ __ ] decided to wear a damn bikini what's
• 04:00 - 04:30 wrong with her no one does that literally no one cares about you that much wear what you want okay that's one side of the spectrum of individuality another thing that I really really want to talk about is just like the fact that so many people feel like they need to change certain things about themselves in order to get certain people to like them like I feel like especially when you're like younger you're in middle school you're in high school a lot of us like do this thing where you're like "Oh my crush likes football so I'm going to pretend to also like football so that my crush can like me oh they say they don't like girls who wear makeup so let me just stop wearing my makeup the way I
• 04:30 - 05:00 wear my makeup because like I want that person to like me." or or or this this friend group that I want to get into these people that I want to like me they're not going to like me if I don't have a freaking Stanley cup or sorry sorry i just just It's the ridiculousness of it all is just oh my god but like no this friend group isn't going to think I'm cool enough if I don't have a a Stanley cup they're not going to think that I'm cool this is a Hydro Flask by the way remember the ancient text a Hydro Flask sorry Visco girl okay anyway if
• 05:00 - 05:30 you're only like these friends are not going to want to talk to me if if I don't have like this whatever or or these people won't respect me if I don't have like a specific kind of designer certain outfit on i need to make sure I have this specific designer on i need to be doing this or whatever and so many of us have this thing where we want to be liked we want to be accepted we want people that we like to like us and so we'll fall into this trap where we'll we'll be willing to change vital things about ourselves in order to make those people like us and that is such a stupid
• 05:30 - 06:00 thing to do because it makes no sense to change yourself for someone who doesn't like you in the first place why would you do that why would you do that because now you have to continue to lie now you have to continue to put up a front so that person can think you're enough that person doesn't even freaking like you they like they like they like the the the costume you put on to prove that you were enough but if you showed up as your damn self you're attracting people who like you the way you are with the Stanley Cup example or whatever i
• 06:00 - 06:30 was seeing this woman who was like saying that her children her her daughter's like getting made fun of at school because she doesn't have a Stanley Cup or whatever and like all the other girls have like the real Stanley cup so we need to make sure your Stanley Cup is a real Stanley Cup and and whatever and I'm just saying I feel like especially if this is something that you really care about when you're probably in that middle school elementary school high school age I need you guys to know if you are in that age right now no friend who truly cares about you is going to stop loving you if you don't have a real Stanley Cup i'm going to be very real with you if someone's caring
• 06:30 - 07:00 about you if someone's respect for you is only based off of these things that you have they do not give a flying fiddle about you bad a bad thing can happen to you they will not stand up for you they will not care about you if the only thing they care about is whether or not you have certain items they don't care about you with real friends with quality friends there is not a ticket that you have to pay in order for them to care about you just being yourself just showing up as you are is always
• 07:00 - 07:30 going to be enough it's always going to be perfectly fine and perfectly great some of the friends that I have now at the age of almost 25 are friends that I knew when I was in freaking elementary school middle school and stuff like that cuz we we always showed up as we are like it was it was never like a oh like if you're wearing this outfit like we're friends with you whatever like you're wearing a designer and stuff i respect you you're my friend that's not a friend like that person doesn't care about you they do not care about you the love they respect that they have for you is cheap and you're better off being your complete self buying whatever the freak
• 07:30 - 08:00 water bottle you want to buy whether it's fake whether it's real and finding people who actually care about you regardless of all of those things it does not make sense okay another thing as a girl as women right one of the things that a lot of us are constantly constantly told as we're getting as as we're like being raised is how much of ourselves we need to change in order for a man to one day want us to be our wives like I like I don't know if like anybody's Caribbean like watching this or whatever but like Caribbeans immigrants whatever like so much was this like this like this super like hey
• 08:00 - 08:30 if you don't know how to cook well your husband's going to leave you or whatever if you don't know how to do this then your husband's going to leave you i I used I used to even hear "If you don't know how to do this well your husband might beat you one day." Beat and then when his mother loses a son and then when he goes missing that night what do we say what do we say calm down with every little thing there was there was like a male attachment to it like I remember I I started to get into makeup right i loved makeup when I was like when I was like 15 16 i started like really getting into makeup it like
• 08:30 - 09:00 made me really really happy i was like really depressed around that time and it was one of the few things that brought me joy right and I remember I got into it and I kept hearing people say things like you do realize that like guys like girls who are like natural like boys like it when a girl is unnatural and she doesn't they don't like it when a girl puts her makeup on like they don't like it when a girl whatever what who cares um also my personality if you can't tell like I'm a very like well you can probably tell i'm a very loud person i'm a very loud person i'm very energetic i'm very just like out there right and I've been told that like guys like girls
• 09:00 - 09:30 who are more quiet guys like girls who are more like mysterious and you know what I mean just a little bit more like docile a bit more sumesa or whatever i'm not that though that's not me and then I remember I started working out and so like you could tell with like the definition in my shoulders like kind of like how I work out or whatever and then I was being told like guys don't like girls whose shoulders look like that like they like girls who are a little bit Oh my god shut up and this is the thing this is what gets me because what pisses me off about that is not only are you telling me are you telling young
• 09:30 - 10:00 girls constantly how much of themselves they should change in order for someone to one day see them as valuable not only are you doing that two you're also lying because all men are not a freaking monolith okay the all of the things that I've been told okay um the the the too much makeup whatever i've had I've literally had guys compliment my makeup be like "Oh I really like it." That that that little like they won't like they won't like know what it is they're talking about but they'll like have like a little word you know they'll have like a little word for it like you know when a guy's talking to you about makeup but they don't know they'll be like that little shiny thing like you know what I
• 10:00 - 10:30 mean they like the little shiny thing that you did your eye like yeah like I've had guys who are literally just like that there are the guys who are very much just like "I like my girls who are natural." That's great that's fine that person is simply just not meant for me you know and um oh like the the yeah there are the guys who like girls to be like who are more quiet and a bit more you know what I mean like you know a little bit more docile a bit more you know what I mean even I even I have had times where I have apologized apologized for how like excited I get around certain subjects because sometimes when I get excited about a certain subject I will start yapping and I will start
• 10:30 - 11:00 talking so fast and like so extensively like a freaking like filibuster like a dissertation i'm just yapping okay and and I I've had times where I've literally apologized to people before right and even to guys where where I'm like "Oh my god I'm so sorry i got carried away." And I've literally had guys who were like "No I like that about you i like that like that way that you you speak and the way that you are and your your energy and your personality and whatever." You know what I mean you know what I mean right okay and then there were also guys who complimented my physique who liked how I was who liked how I showed up as my natural self like when like when after I worked out or
• 11:00 - 11:30 whatever who didn't have a problem with that are you picking up what I'm putting down it does not make sense for me to stop doing something that I really really like doing stop behaving in a way that I behave naturally stop being myself in order to attract people who wouldn't have liked me in the first place when there are plenty of people out there who would like me as I am that makes no sense that makes absolutely no sense oh he likes a girl who's a little bit more this and a little bit more that is that who you are is that who you are naturally is that who you want to be if
• 11:30 - 12:00 the answer is no why are you why are you willing to lose yourself over someone who does not like you in the first place and then can you imagine if you do change this thing about you like no no no there there's two scenarios imagine if you change something about yourself in order to get a specific guy specific girl a specific person's attention you know so that they can like like you or whatever imagine if you change that thing about yourself and one either one they sense the fakeness they sense how fake you're being or two they're thinking "Oh my gosh I have someone who shares this thing in common with me." And now cool now you guys are friends or
• 12:00 - 12:30 now you guys are together and they feel so they feel like they're great they're so happy because they're they're with someone who likes the thing that they like who is doing what they like to do or whatever like they're they're with someone who does that you know what I mean they're so happy and then eventually what's going to happen you're going to get tired you're going to get tired of faking you're going to get tired of pretending to be someone that you're not you're going to get tired of pretending to like things that you don't like you're going to get tired and then they're going to be like "Wait why did you switch up you used to like this you used to be this person but then now you're not." But you weren't that you were never that you were just doing that
• 12:30 - 13:00 you were just putting on a show in order for them to like you and imagine if you would have just come up to that friend come up to that person naturally as you are who you are in in your fullness in in in in who you are entirely whatever right and imagine if they would have liked something else about you something else that you already have naturally they would have loved that or maybe you have something else that you share in common that you guys you guys would have really clicked on it does not make sense for you to like lose yourself or to chip away at parts of yourself or to pretend to be a certain way in order for someone
• 13:00 - 13:30 to have their attention on you because you're you're you're scamming them one and then also you're doing a disservice to yourself like it doesn't make sense everybody in the world is not going to like you and everybody in the world is not meant to if everybody in the world liked you your life would be miserable because that would mean that you have to change everything about yourself constantly in order to fit what everyone else wants but if you are doing what you freaking want dressing how you freaking want listening to the kind of music that you freaking want and you know behaving in the way that you freaking want to
• 13:30 - 14:00 behave then the people you attract the experiences you attract the opportunities the jobs the whatever that you attract are going to be perfectly fit to you and you will feel more free you will feel more like at peace in these things because they will be what liked what liked and was what were attracted to you as yourself naturally you feel me like they already liked you naturally it doesn't make sense like okay like take like my my personality right not just with guys with a lot of people i have been told by multiple people in life that my personality is just way too much i I just talk way too
• 14:00 - 14:30 fast i talk way too much my I'm just way too energetic i'm constantly but I'm just the energy is just a whole lot like a it's just way too much for me right so there's like one spectrum of people who just cannot stand my energy now there's another spectrum of people who love it you know especially like when I post it on like start posting online like there are people who love my energy who follow me for my energy follow me for how I talk about things follow me for how eloquent I am or whatever or just follow me for like just like the way that I present certain topics or whatever and who like that about me they love my
• 14:30 - 15:00 energy they love these things or whatever right cool now of these two people who should I be living to please neither f them f them both me i'm the person that I should be living to please because the people who are here who are like "Oh my gosh like I love her she's so great i love her energy." One day they could they could they could switch up they could be like "You know what actually I'm a little tired i I changed my mind you know when I was younger I thought she was great but now I need someone who's like a little bit more chill or whatever." They could switch up on me or whatever whatever and if I'm so desperate to just keep that attention I might feel like "Oh my gosh no i'm
• 15:00 - 15:30 broken now because where I gained my validation is now gone no I should not be gaining my validation for the people who like me and also I should not be changing myself and like let me quiet myself down let me be more demure more mindful let me be better at being quiet and mysterious so that these people can like me that wouldn't make sense either because I am now miserable because I am stifling myself in order to make these people like me but if I show up as myself how I feel every mother effing day however I feel is like is truly
• 15:30 - 16:00 making me happy however I feel is truly making me content living like that is so much more free living like that is so much more fun okay it's so much more fun you know what I mean like as long as I'm more authentic to myself my life is going to be a lot more fun it's going to be a lot better and I will attract people who like me as me which means I'm going to get to be myself every freaking day i get to be fully me every single day day in day out the weekdays the weekends [Music]
• 16:00 - 16:30 you know what I mean one thing that this is so embarrassing do not do not drag me for this but anyway um the thing that like even like got me like on this subject is I saw something on Pop the Balloon i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i was watching Pop the Balloon i'm sorry it's corny it's cringey it's it's it's it's it's brain rot but it's it's brain rot that I watch sometimes sorry but anyway I saw this one guy who was on there right and I guess like he had been on there multiple
• 16:30 - 17:00 times and the first time he had been on there he was like wearing a certain outfit and I guess the women who were on that like when they first saw him they were basically saying that I guess he wasn't flashy enough or something like he didn't like he wasn't like he didn't put it on you know what I'm saying like the outfit wasn't giving like you know like ooh designer couture you know what I mean whatever right so the next time he comes he's just like flash central okay like it's just giving flashy flash flash flash right and then like um so yeah so now he does that and it's just like all of his visit to Gucci this Louis that whatever whatever cool right so now he's talking to someone she's
• 17:00 - 17:30 talking to an individual to this lady and this lady like you know pops her balloon she's like yeah I'm not that interested and he wants to ask her why like what's up like why like why are you not into me whatever and she's like you are just way too flashy like I just don't really like how flashy you look or whatever right and now this man is now frustrated he's like you see now women just you guys just don't know what you want you just don't know what you want like last time I was told that you wanted more Flash and all of a sudden now it's too much Flash like what do you want you guys don't know what you want and I'm just like it is so insane to me
• 17:30 - 18:00 cuz this guy was like 30 something like 30 like 35 36 37 years old right and that's what shocked me i'm like at at at this age I feel like you should know at this point to not be changing up the way that you look and the way that you are in order to get certain people's approval that is ridiculous because I too I too don't like people who are like a super flashy which which is kind of funny coming from someone who's who lives in Miami which means there's there's flashy people everywhere but like I'm just saying I too don't really I'm not I'm not really that attracted to that either you know what I mean so like I I get the sentiment i understand not
• 18:00 - 18:30 being attracted to that but also that morning when that man woke up and he looked in the mirror and he put on his outfit if he was proud of his outfit and he liked his outfit and he was like this is my outfit i like it it is me it makes me feel good it makes me feel confident i feel fantastic in it you know what I mean i feel like I've heard people say that there are people who like are like flashy because like they like grew up very poor they didn't have a lot of money so now they have the ability to to spend and to splurge and they just want to wear things that show that they have that ability to do that great that is your story that is who you are stand by
• 18:30 - 19:00 that be that if you see 50 different women who come up to you and say that is just way too much it's way too flashy who cares who cares do not change yourself and be like "Oh my gosh I'm actually going to stop flashing or I'm going to be more flashy because a certain person or because multiple women told me to stop." Why be you do what makes you comfortable and then the person that would like you as you will come to you you will attract that person duh you know what I mean even like
• 19:00 - 19:30 certain things that I've heard about like being girlfriend material boyfriend material wifey material whatever and if you've done certain things or if you dress a certain way that means that you're not that you're not this material you're not that material or whatever and I'm simply not going to listen to that because whether it comes to the friends that I hang out with the jobs that I get the partner that I marry I'm going to want to be fully and 100% myself and for you to like me fully as myself because I'm going to be exhausted pretending to be something that I'm not i am not a cute demure you know classy that's not
• 19:30 - 20:00 me that's not me no hate to women who are women who are naturally and that's who you if that's who you are pop off but that's not me so I'm not going to pretend to be that you know what I mean even with the whole body count thing i'm not going to lie about a body count i'm not going to be like "Oh my gosh well my body count is actually two i'm a pure little I'm not going to do that i'm not going to do that because one I'm not attracted to guys who sexually shame women that that's very unattractive to me i wouldn't want somebody raising my son to also grow up to also sexually shame women i wouldn't want that so I'm not going to be like being like "Oh my
• 20:00 - 20:30 gosh well actually I'm I only like I've I've never in my life done and like I'm not going to do that i'm not going to do that i'm not going to lie to someone about who I am or how many people I've been with." Because if you don't like that if you don't accept that part of me I would rather you go and find that person that fits what you want go and find that person and whoever thinks that I am fine as I am I want those people i do not want people who don't like me that doesn't make sense to me why would I want someone who doesn't like me i'm going just say it right now i'm not ashamed of it 12 body count is 12
• 20:30 - 21:00 i'm if someone were to look at that and be like "Oh my gosh that's disgusting i would not want my my child to be raised by what?" That's that's great that's fine no harm no foul go find her i'm not going to pretend to be more pure i hate that word i'm sorry i'm not going I'm not even uh talking about a woman like gross it feels so like like she's an object and it's just gross no I'm not going to pretend to be anything that I'm not is all I'm saying and this also goes for people who are like more celibate or like on the opposite of the side of the spectrum or whatever like I remember when I was like
• 21:00 - 21:30 more religious and stuff and I was like saving myself and all these different things and I would encounter people who would be like you're never going to find a guy who's willing to wait for you like you're asking for way too much like no you're going to have to give something up like constantly like oh my god like the way people are just so obsessed with trying to make you change who you are to find someone who is not meant for you like it doesn't make it first of all if I'm like a person who's like a religious person who's like saving myself don't you think I would also be attracted to a religious person who's also saving themselves like what what what you know
• 21:30 - 22:00 what I mean so like if you're like on the other side of the spectrum and you're trying to save yourself and people are trying to tell you like no like that's never going to stop like I don't even like even if you're a guy cuz I know that people like try to make make it that like guys are supposed to be these like hypersexual people or whatever and if you're a guy and you're not that person don't go and pretend you are cuz that's not who you are like don't do that you know what I mean so yeah so this this goes for my [ __ ] i love my [ __ ] this goes for the people on the opposite side of the spectrum and this goes for the inbetweeners no none of this lying this pretending it doesn't make sense like literally just go for
• 22:00 - 22:30 who is meant for you i don't get that and I'm not going to do that you know what I mean because I don't want someone to be with me who doesn't like me as me i'm not I don't want someone who's going to who's going to want that out of me and I also don't want someone who who thinks that way in the first place anyway like I remember Oh my god if I don't know if you guys watched like Love Island like the Love Island US but like the last season was like season six or like they were playing a game where they were doing that they were like doing like the body counts or whatever and like they had all the girls be like okay what's your body count and they had like all the guys and they're like okay like what's your body count or whatever right and then they were like asking the girls what body count like do you have versus
• 22:30 - 23:00 like what would you be okay with your guy having and they were asking the guys like okay like what body count do you have and what would you be okay with your girl having or whatever right and I remember Cordell I remember Cordell's answer and his answer was just like I think it was like infinity or whatever like I don't care and for me I remember looking at that and be like oh my gosh so attractive I love that not only because not only because I like his answer just like as itself i think it was also cuz there was like another guy who had like I think he was was it Jana was it the guy who was with Jana and his number was like a over like a hundred and he was like but you baby too okay
• 23:00 - 23:30 and so I remember like seeing Cordell's number and being like oo that's a black king right there i'm kidding that's a black king right there okay and I remember being like that is so attractive i am more attracted to someone with Cordell's mindset when it comes to that as well i don't want someone who's going to teach my kid to sexually shame women i don't want my someone who's going to sexually shame me i I just I just don't like that i don't like that i'm like "No no thank you." So why why fake it why pretend why be like "Actually my I've never even I've never even looked a guy in the eye." Like I'm like "I'm not going to do that i'm not
• 23:30 - 24:00 going to pretend to be that when the kind of person who would like that answer is not the kind of person I would want to be with in the first place." Yeah so there's that like I don't know just just to sum up this long video learn who you are you know aside from other people you know like I said in the beginning like don't be looking to other people to find what your identity should be you know find who you are as yourself you know and then once you do find who you are as yourself stand on that stand on that be firm in it be proud of it if you are an anime geek stand on that be like I'm an anime geek oh that's so
• 24:00 - 24:30 childish i don't care stand on that stand on that you are an anime geek you are a K-pop fan you really like to Dungeons and Dragons you're really obsessed with going to car shows you're really obsessed with crochet you're obsessed with anything you you have very passionate hobbies or ideas or certain things that you really like about yourself continue to do that do not hide that stifle that in order to get people to like you no that is not it's not fun it's not fun living a life according to other people's standards is not fun it's
• 24:30 - 25:00 boring it's lame it's stupid i do not recommend zero out of 10 as a former people pleaser don't do it i'm I'm a Yeah I love it anyway all right i'm done with my rant for today thank you guys so much for watching this video i hope it
• 25:00 - 25:30 changed your life i hope it made you think i hope it just it just took you somewhere you've never been before and that you met you felt complete and you felt like you could soar after watching it so uh yeah if you liked this video don't forget to like this video okay don't forget to comment on this video don't give don't don't don't forget to hit subscribe and to put the notifications on all right have a great day continue to be yourself i love you pretty