How I deal with Hate

Summary

Highlights

• V shares the overwhelming attention she received and how it affected her mental health. 😧
• She talks about turning off DMs and notifications as a form of self-preservation. 🔕
• Nurami highlights that you shouldn't idolize others too much; everyone's human! 👤
• Encourages viewers to take breaks and enjoy life outside of social media. 🌞
• Discusses her personal growth and learning to handle negativity better. 🌱

Key Takeaways

• Being online comes with both love and hate, and it's important to learn how to handle both. 🎭
• Setting boundaries, like closing DMs, can help manage anxiety and stress. 🚪
• You can't please everyone, and that's okay! Aim to be authentic and true to yourself. 🌟
• Going offline and unplugging is vital for mental health. 🌳
• Spread love instead of hate and try to understand your own feelings before projecting onto others. ❤️

Overview

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction The introduction begins with a warm welcome from the speaker, who identifies as V or Nurami. The tone is friendly and informal, addressing the audience in a conversational manner. V sets the stage for the discussion, indicating it will be a light-hearted talk about the art community on TikTok. The aim is not to delve into anything too serious or trivial, but rather to discuss an ongoing topic of interest within that community.
• 00:30 - 03:00: Gaining Attention and Its Impact This chapter delves into the concept of gaining attention, particularly in the context of social media and personal exposure, and its consequential impact, including dealing with hate and negativity. The narrator reflects on their personal experiences post-COVID-19 pandemic, addressing frequent questions from others about handling hate. The narrator confesses to not actively dealing with hate but promises to elaborate further, while also mentioning consistently sharing their art as part of their public presence.
• 03:00 - 06:00: Dealing with Expectations and Anxiety The chapter 'Dealing with Expectations and Anxiety' explores the author's journey from childhood to the present, where having unrestricted internet access since the age of 10 has greatly influenced their creative process. Motivated by a love for cartoons and fandoms, the author discusses how their continuous creation and sharing of content over the years has shaped their identity and contributed to the management of expectations and anxiety.
• 06:00 - 09:00: Negative Comments and Self-Protection The chapter explores the author's experience with gaining increased attention through posting animation memes on YouTube in 2017. Despite the excitement and happiness that came with many people enjoying the content, the author alludes to challenges that accompanied the sudden influx of viewers and attention. The title suggests a focus on dealing with negative comments and the importance of self-protection in such situations.
• 09:00 - 15:00: Lessons and Positive Reminders The chapter reflects on past experiences, particularly the 'animation meme era,' as a period of good times and personal enjoyment. The narrator notes significant growth from 2023 onwards, largely due to increased attention from platforms like TikTok and YouTube shorts. The focus is on the positive memories and lessons learned from these experiences.
• 15:00 - 16:30: Conclusion The chapter 'Conclusion' reflects on a significant change in the narrator's life. They describe the overwhelming support and appreciation they have received from people, not only for their artwork but also on a personal level. This newfound admiration is something the narrator had not experienced before and continues to be grateful for. Despite the time that has passed, they are still in awe of the support they receive and express their deep gratitude to their supporters.

How I deal with Hate Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 Hi, welcome, welcome back. Uh, my name is V, also known as Nurami. Um, I hope you have a wonderful day. And yeah, um, long story short, what we're going to talk about today, um, not nothing too serious, you know, nothing too silly, just something that I realized, you know, one of the things I just wanted to talk about and it's pretty much like an ongoing thing, you know, especially Tik Tok art community. Um, I know that it's it exists everywhere, you know, and it's
• 00:30 - 01:00 been always happening, you know, but I maybe it's just like me feeling like it was happening much more frequently, especially after the Corona virus. And the topic would be hate. People frequently ask me like, you know, Nurami, how do you deal with hate? You know, how do you do that? And yeah, she simply like, how do you deal with that? Um, I don't I don't deal with it. I guess. And I'm going to explain it further. So, as I've mentioned numerous times before, I've been posting my art
• 01:00 - 01:30 since 2010, since I was like 10 years old. Okay. Um I did I had like um unrestrict unrestricted access to the internet. I've seen a lot of things. Okay. And um pretty much I was just like I wanted to create. I saw my favorite like cartoons and fandoms and I was like I'm going to keep creating because I'm having fun with it. Okay. And through all those years I've been posting stuff. Um this experience like is definitely
• 01:30 - 02:00 something that I had to learn. So um pretty much I think for me personally the point where like I got even more attention than before was when I started posting my animation memes on YouTube, you know, in 2017. And you know I all of a sudden I got like a lot of people you know following me on YouTube and like loving my animations. And obviously I was super excited. I was like, "Oh, I didn't expect that, but I'm happy that people enjoy my stuff like so many and I'm
• 02:00 - 02:30 going to keep creating, right?" Um, but back then it was all right. Nothing nothing too bad, nothing just good times, okay? I had amazing time back then, okay, during the animation meme era. However, um during or like from year 2023 to until now, um I got even more attention than before, you know, I got a lot of growth and um you know, from Tik Tok and YouTube shorts and even from animation rooms back then and like year
• 02:30 - 03:00 or like two years ago, it was definitely something new for me to experience because all of a sudden I got like so many people, you know, um loving my work, loving what I to actually even liking me as a person too this time like not just like my artwork but me as a person which was like I didn't didn't really like experience that much before as much as I love and appreciate it because again like I not saying enough but like even now I'm saying guys I I appreciate it so much I really do appreciate all your support and to this day my mind cannot really like wrap it
• 03:00 - 03:30 around the fact that people actually like me you know you don't know me personally but like from what you've seen what I do or just like the personality that I have you know you enjoy it you and I'm happy that you do. So, yeah, thank you again. And now that I said that, um I'm going to come to the point. So, you know, with all the good attention also comes bad attention. You know, like there's always going to be good and a bad thing. Um I would say like getting popular. Um all of a sudden like especially on Tik Tok I felt like I
• 03:30 - 04:00 was not able to catch up enough like I could not everything was happening too fast you know and I just started to see like people even idolizing me you know speaking like so highly of me and just like like oh and you remind me of this and remind that and again like as much as I appreciate it um I do want to say that generally don't idolize people too much um I'm not talking only about me but like just uh generally social media people you know personally maybe you
• 04:00 - 04:30 know or just like yeah I I think it's not very healthy to always like idolize someone like to very high up is that a right English I don't know but what I'm trying to say is that like I feel like when somebody tries to like idolize me and they speak so highly of me you know and I feel like people set up expectations of me and I start to get scared that I'm not going to be able to fulfill those expectations right uh I feel like I need to fulfill expectations of like numerous people at once. And
• 04:30 - 05:00 like as a previous people pleaser, that stressed me out so much. Honestly, I felt like I was suffocating. Um I started having like um kind of like anxiety attacks almost like every day or like every second day like um you know just like at random times I would like having troubles like maybe breathing a little bit like I would feel like hot and just like my mind would raising and I would like I I could barely like calm down basically. I would literally stress myself over nothing. I was just like feeling so much pressure to a point I
• 05:00 - 05:30 was like, how am I able to keep all those people happy and like fulfill all those expectations of me? Um, and also being scared that I might disappoint someone, right? Because again, like there are like so many people and I'm just simply not going to be able to um make everyone happy, you know? Like there's going to be a few things about me that you're probably not going to like, which is okay. But um it's just like this initial thought of needing to you know take care of people's emotions kind of like and I'm going to be honest
• 05:30 - 06:00 like I had like a story that I pro I tried to do that my whole life where I felt like responsible for people's emotions and um I think it also might come from that. Yeah. Um like a year or two ago I didn't know how to deal with that. I felt a lot of pressure and um obviously if I saw negative comments you know because again like I said with good comes bad um that would stress me out too. Okay. Like maybe I would get like, you know, negative DMs on my Instagram or like um or like maybe I would see somebody make a post about me. Not a bad
• 06:00 - 06:30 one. Okay, not a bad one, but like just a good one. And like I would see in the comments how people would talk about me and like having little discussions about me, you know, like um oh, she's actually not that great. She's kind of overrated. It's not a bad thing because like again like people are allowed to have their like opinions. It's just like me personally, I just felt like I'm already failing at keeping people happy, I guess, even though I didn't do anything. And I'm like, what can I change to make people understand like, please don't hate me. Like, I like I'm sorry if I
• 06:30 - 07:00 appear on your for you page and you don't want to see me. I cannot control that. I'm just trying to do what I love, you know, but like I don't want to annoy you, you know? Like, so, and that's why I remind people like if you don't like something, try to block them or like press not interested. And yeah, because unfortunately like as much as I would love to, there's nothing I can do from my perspective. And um man, even thinking about it right now, like I start to breathe heavily. I'm going to be honest. Um or it's just like the hot weather today. As you can see, I'm wearing a dress because it's super hot
• 07:00 - 07:30 today. Yeah, it's probably the weather, too. And it's just like it was a whole mess. It was so much together everything. It's just like, you know, pressure from everything, trying to fulfill people's expectations, you know, not wanting to see like the comments where people like are not happy with me or like what I do, whether it's my art style or not or just like whatever it is, right? And it just all piled up to a point where I felt like I want to hide and like sometimes I felt like I just want to delete everything and disappear, you know, like so that people don't know where I am, people don't know what I do and that just like where I felt like
• 07:30 - 08:00 people cannot approach me, you know. And that also led to why I personally turn turned off my DMs on Instagram. Uh that's the reason why I turned off my tags on Tik Tok and um cuz I felt like I wanted to hide and that was like the best way I could like I guess have a moment to breathe, you know, a moment for myself where I felt like I can hear my own thoughts instead of you know whatever people are saying or messaging me. Um because yeah, at some point it felt like I couldn't even think straight. Um I had I couldn't hear my
• 08:00 - 08:30 own thoughts. It just felt like my head was filled with whatever people were doing on like saying online. Again, it wasn't even like bad things, too. It's just simply like knowing that so many people might have expectations of me, I think. Right. And again, obviously, um I felt like I could not keep up with the comments anymore, too. Um because there like so many and I felt I can't keep up anymore. And that stressed me out too a lot. And I would say like after I did that, after like I close my DMs and my turn my tags off and like I try to find
• 08:30 - 09:00 ways where I just like can distract myself, you know, from being like on social media. Um because again like I still have to post and not only have to I still enjoy drawing. Like drawing was always my escape from like reality, you know. So like I still create. Um again honestly I still want to just like do what what I have fun with, you know, and post it for people that want to see it without getting on people's nerves at the same time. Like that's literally what I do. I just want to create, be myself, and that's it. You know, usually I would also just like pull up maybe some examples of like what com what type
• 09:00 - 09:30 of comments people are saying, but the thing is I don't see them. I just like I decided to like the things that do not help me to grow as a person. I'm just pretending that they're not there kind of, you know, like um and like if even if I do sometimes like see a negative comments like I did like maybe last time, I don't even take them that serious anymore. you know, when I know that somebody comes from a place of hate and just like envy or just like
• 09:30 - 10:00 insecurity, whatever it is, right? Like when I know that this person didn't have to choose words that specifically would try to hurt me, as mean as it sounds, that opinion does not matter to me because it doesn't come from a place where you want to, you know, help me to be better. if I like if I would get comments either like about my body or like saying that I'm annoying like on how I do things, it doesn't help me to grow as a person. So like I and I don't know you personally. So um and you don't know me personally. That's the thing
• 10:00 - 10:30 too, you know, like um you see whatever like I'm posting and like what what I decide I want to share with you because like again I have boundaries too on what things I want to share or not like for my personal life. But like for an example, my last video or like two videos ago, I was talking about body dysmorphia. It's something that I carried with me like for a while. But I finally felt like I'm open to like talk about it, you know? And I think this is like also one of those things like if you would ask me to talk about like a year ago, I would not done it cuz like I
• 10:30 - 11:00 would be like, "Oh, like I'm scared." Like, "Oh, what am I supposed to say?" Like um but now that I've kind of like learned how to deal with that and not let it affect me, I'm kind of like able to talk about it. So basically I know that I cannot obviously I cannot control what people would do or say on the internet. I've saw like many things that were like felt disrespectful to me too and not just like as a concrete but like as a person still because I think people sometimes forgets like I'm just like I'm a person not just like a content creator like I'm an actual person and um I'm
• 11:00 - 11:30 always not not always bulletproof right but and I also have times where I'm just like I feel down and I feel like as much as I try to you know always calm down and like think clearly you know not act on my emotions I just feel like maybe there's going to be one day where it's just like either I tweak out or just like lose all my but I don't know. So since I cannot control what people do or say, the only thing I can control is how I let it affect me.
• 11:30 - 12:00 Like do I let it affect me? Do I let it like actually approach me? Um, and I personally at that time I felt like the only solution that's going to help me a little bit is just to like close my DMs, my tags basically so that I feel a little bit of like quiet I would say so that I can be with myself more. And after I did that, it actually helped me after a while to slowly feel I'm like myself again and slowly to hear my own thoughts and not feel as anxious as I was anymore. and kind of like also, you
• 12:00 - 12:30 know, going outside, breathing air, touching grass, and just reminding myself that being too much online, you know, and like trying to consume as much as I can, whether it's like comments or like what people say or just like anything like that, it's just going to drive you crazy. I'm being so for real, like it's going to drive you crazy. And it drove me crazy personally, too. And that's why I remind people it's very important that when you do things online, you know, even if you love being online, please take time to actually, you know, put your phone away and try
• 12:30 - 13:00 to, you know, go outside, breathe outside, do something that it's going to make you realize that you're okay. Everything is okay. Everything is fine. As long as you have food on your table, a roof over your head, and a bed to sleep in, everything is okay, right? and just like simply realizing that you're in the moment and whatever people are saying online where it's like just hate just words to purposefully trying to hurt you, it doesn't matter, right? If you leave a negative comment on somebody's like video or just like
• 13:00 - 13:30 whatever they do, you know, anything. Um, I truly believe that you're simply like in your own time. You have your own path in your life and you're in your own stage right now at your life. And um I think maybe you still really haven't figured out, you know, that you don't need to like actually tear other people down in order to feel happy. And that as soon as you actually start to love yourself, like to accept yourself, you know, and just like trying to enjoy little things in life and just let
• 13:30 - 14:00 things be the way they are and focusing on your own life instead of like others just simply by existing. You just simply don't feel like you need to say something negative to feel better. And I truly hope that people who feel like that are going to feel better one day because again, I know that we're all just human. I think that's why it's also important to spread love instead of hate. And yeah, I do also want to remind you, I said numerous times before, but I'm going to say it again. If you expect everyone to like you online, that's not
• 14:00 - 14:30 going to happen. It's just I feel like it's the same. I mean like if you go to a public space right outside like let's say you go to a shopping mall do you really expect everyone in there to like you like at first sight maybe or just like vibe with you at the first moment? Not really right the same thing you know like by staying authentic you attract the people that are meant for you. You know they're like they have the same vibe as you and that helps us to find the people that we kind of like belong
• 14:30 - 15:00 with and we can be our true selves with. Basically, if there are people publicly or online that don't like you, it's okay. Not everybody needs to like you just like you don't like everyone else. I mean, like somebody else, I don't know. And um it's not even like something personal most of the time. I think it's just like how we humans are. And yeah, that's also how how I've been thinking. Like I I've never wanted like everybody to like me. And like that's how I've been, you know, I that's how I had my perspective for a while. It's
• 15:00 - 15:30 just like I don't expect everyone to like me. That's like very unrealistic to expect and I don't like really want to. Um if you don't like me, um it's okay. You're just like go like under different directions, you know, and you're going to have amazing time with your type of people and I'm just going to have amazing time with my type of people, you know. I think it's just like we're both going to be still respectful toward each other because I personally think like staying respect like still being respectful to people that you maybe not vibe with is also important to some degree.
• 15:30 - 16:00 It really depends on the situation, but I think you know what I mean. Okay, I've talked a lot for now and I'm going to be honest, it feels like I've talked like very chaotic, but at the same time, I hope you kind of understand, you know, or maybe you learned something because I was like I just felt like simply sharing my perspective because again, it might seems like I'm doing completely perfectly fine on surface, but I felt like finally like sharing just like my experience from the past two years where I was not doing perfect but actually kind of bad.
• 16:00 - 16:30 But maybe it's going to like give you a different perspective on how, you know, you might do your things or not. I know. So, but anyway, if you like the video, please like and subscribe or and hit the notification bell button if you didn't. I really appreciate the support and it really helps me out. Take care of yourself. Get yourself a little treat for today. You deserved it. Try to think a bit positive. Bye-bye. [Music]