How to Know She’s Into You — Sadia Khan Exposes Why Most Men Get Friendzoned

Summary

In a fascinating discussion, Sadia Khan delves into the common issue of how men often find themselves friend-zoned, offering insights on why this happens and how it can be avoided. The conversation explores the importance of maintaining a sense of sexual interest without being overtly perverted, understanding mutual attraction signals, and the impact of maintaining high standards when choosing partners. Khan emphasizes the value of real-life connections over pornography, explaining its role in shaping unrealistic expectations. Moreover, she highlights the significance of friendships with women, offering a unique perspective on how men can learn about attraction dynamics through these relationships. Ultimately, Khan urges men to maintain high standards and to be aware of the qualities they value in potential partners.

Highlights

• Men often friend-zone themselves by desexualizing interactions. Keep the spark alive! 🔥
• Pay attention to mutual attraction signals to avoid getting friend-zoned. ❤️
• Polarizing interactions can reveal true attraction. Lean in and watch her body language! 👀
• Abstaining from pornography is crucial as it offers unrealistic views on relationships. 📵
• Friendships with women, even if initially friend-zoned, can provide valuable insights. 🤝
• High standards in choosing partners help maintain high-caliber relationships. 🌟

Key Takeaways

• Desexualization is a key factor why men are friend-zoned. Keep the chemistry alive, gentlemen! 🔥
• Focus on women who show mutual attraction to avoid unnecessary heartache. 💔
• Polarize interactions to know if she's into you. Lean in and observe her response. 👀
• Abstain from pornography as it creates unrealistic expectations. Real connections matter more! 🌟
• Value friendships with women—even if initially friend-zoned, these relationships offer valuable insights. 🤝
• Maintaining high standards in relationships ensures you attract high-caliber partners. Keep those standards sky-high! ✨

Overview

The chat with Sadia Khan exposes the subtle art of understanding whether a woman is truly interested in you or if she’s leading you down the friend-zone path. She explains that men often friend-zone themselves by failing to maintain a sense of sexual chemistry, causing women to perceive them merely as friends. Sadia discusses the importance of recognizing signs of mutual attraction to avoid unnecessary emotional turmoil.

Probing deeper, the conversation highlights that men should focus on abstaining from pornography, which contributes to unrealistic relationship expectations, and instead value real-world interactions. Khan explains how genuine connections and understanding women’s perspectives can provide invaluable insights into relationship dynamics, making them crucial in men’s social lives.

Moreover, Sadia stresses the importance of high standards in relationships. By avoiding intimate connections with just any woman, men ensure they remain aligned with their deeper values and attract partners who meet these high standards. Friendships with women, even if initiated under friend-zoned circumstances, can enhance a man's understanding of women, leading to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction to Friend-Zoning and Sexual Interest The chapter discusses the common dating issue of men feeling pressured to signal sexual interest early in a relationship to avoid being friend-zoned. It highlights the frustration men experience when they perceive themselves being placed in the friend zone and suggests that men sometimes contribute to this situation by desexualizing interactions.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Desexualization and Signals of Attraction The chapter discusses the concept of desexualization and how it relates to signals of attraction. It highlights how some men, when they don't want to be friend-zoned, will consistently remind a woman of their sexual interest by complimenting her in a way that indicates romantic or sexual chemistry. For example, they might point out how great she looks or express envy of her partner. In contrast, men who are friend-zoned either refrain from such comments or offer compliments in a platonic manner, akin to how a woman might compliment another woman's appearance.
• 01:00 - 01:30: Recognizing Mutual Attraction The chapter "Recognizing Mutual Attraction" explores the dynamics of friend-zoning, particularly focusing on how men often desexualize themselves when interacting with women who do not show attraction towards them. It highlights the tendency of some men to invest time in relationships with women who haven't signaled physical interest, leading to the friend-zone. In contrast, men who avoid this zone tend to focus on women with whom there is a mutual attraction.
• 01:30 - 02:00: Polarization and Indicators of Attraction This chapter explores the challenge many men face in understanding whether a woman is interested in them. It discusses the importance of polarization, a technique that forces a woman to reveal her level of interest. For example, by observing her reaction when a man walks close to her. If she leans in, it indicates she might be attracted to him.
• 02:00 - 02:30: Physical Affection as an Attraction Indicator The chapter discusses physical affection as a key indicator of attraction in social interactions. It explains how body language and proximity can signal interest or disinterest. Leaning in, making eye contact, and allowing physical touch, such as placing a hand on a thigh, are signs of attraction. The chapter emphasizes reading these subtle actions to gauge mutual interest.
• 02:30 - 03:00: Abstinence from Pornography versus Physical Relationships The chapter discusses the concepts of sexual abstinence, highlighting the difference between avoiding physical relationships and abstaining from pornography. It touches on how external factors, like alcohol, can affect physical attraction and advances. The discussion leads to the idea that focusing merely on abstaining from physical relationships without considering the impact of pornography might be detrimental, suggesting that avoiding pornography could be more beneficial.
• 03:00 - 04:00: Keeping Relationship Standards High The chapter discusses the importance of maintaining high standards in relationships. It emphasizes how engaging with real women provides a true understanding of connection and the effort required for meaningful relationships. The text contrasts this with pornography, which offers satisfaction without effort, labeling it as a "dangerous abstinence." The speaker advocates for abstaining from pornography while mentioning that abstinence from physical relationships should not imply never having physical contact with women.
• 04:00 - 05:00: Reframing Friend-Zoned Relationships The chapter discusses the concept of 'friend-zoned' relationships, highlighting the importance of maintaining high standards in romantic pursuits. It argues that lowering standards for temporary gratification can lead to falling for someone only slightly better than previous low standards, which might not align with one's true desires or values. Keeping high standards ensures that when one decides to commit, it is with a high-caliber partner.
• 05:00 - 06:00: Friendship Boundaries and Gender Dynamics The chapter discusses the concept of 'friend-zoning' within friendships and romantic relationships, emphasizing the importance of maintaining high standards in romantic pursuits. It suggests that instead of trying to change how someone views you, you should reframe how you perceive them and potentially place them in the 'friend zone' as well. The chapter debates the advice of some who suggest ending friendships when friend-zoned, countering that doing so might lead to missing out on valuable relationships and experiences.
• 06:00 - 07:00: Friendship versus Attraction in Relationships The chapter discusses the dynamics of transitioning from attraction to friendship in relationships. It suggests that it is beneficial and insightful to have friendships with women you were once attracted to. These friendships provide valuable perspectives on relationships and men's opinions from a woman's viewpoint. The narrative includes personal experiences where initial attractions evolved into friendships, highlighting the value gained from these relationships.
• 07:00 - 08:00: Human Qualities as Criteria in Relationships This chapter delves into the dynamics of human relationships, focusing on the feedback people give each other and what defines true friendship. It discusses the concept of boundaries within friendships, especially the ones between men and women. The narrative uses examples from social media, like the trend of women calling their male best friends to test if they would be interested in dating them, to emphasize the importance of establishing and respecting boundaries. True friendship is highlighted as one where certain actions, like making unexpected phone calls or visiting late at night, are avoided due to mutual understanding and respect.

How to Know She’s Into You — Sadia Khan Exposes Why Most Men Get Friendzoned Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 One of the big things when I was doing research on like hot relationship topics or hot dating takes is uh how common it is for guys to get friend-zoned and how frustrated a lot of guys seem to seem to be when they go on a date and they feel this pressure to make a move very early on and signal interest. Otherwise, there's this belief that they get friend-zoned. So, how do you prevent guys from getting friend-zoned? Um, some a lot of the time men friend zone themselves. And how they friend zone themselves is they desexualize
• 00:30 - 01:00 themselves. Yeah. They desexualize themselves. And what I mean by this is there'll be some men that you can't friend zone because they constantly remind you not just that you're beautiful and you're great, but they remind you that there's some sexual interest in you. So, they'll remind you that they have some chemistry with you. They might say to you, "Oh, god damn, you look great today. Oh my god, he's a lucky man." They give you that signal that they find you sexually attractive. friend zone men will either never say anything or when they do say it, they say it the same way they would a woman would say a compliment like I like your dress or that your hair looks nice. They
• 01:00 - 01:30 say the same things a female could have done. So what happens is they desexualize. I'm not saying you need to sexualize and become really perverted or anything but this is just what happens with friend-zone. And the other thing that men uh friend-zone men do is they spend too much time around women who are not showing physical interest in them. they're spending too much time investing in women who haven't signaled attraction to them. Men that avoid the friend zone is they gear themselves naturally towards women they can see are attracted to them. There's some level of mutual attraction. Friend-zone men will look
• 01:30 - 02:00 for women that they're attracted to but are not paying attention to whether she's physically. How do you know if she's into you or not into you? I think that's the one thing guys, I think universally are all like, "I had no idea she was into me or I had no idea." Like you just have no clue. Mhm. I would say one indicator is you have to polarize a woman if she and what I mean by that is you have to put her in a position where she's either forced to show that she's interested or not interested. And it could be as simple as you walk quite close to her. And if you see that she's leans in, she's probably connected to
• 02:00 - 02:30 you. But if you walk close or if you lean in and you see that immediately she goes somewhere else, the attraction isn't there. So it's a more of a case of you put her in a position to see be polarized over. Is she going to go towards you or is she going to lean towards you or lean against you? And that signals um attraction and it could and physical affection is really important as well. So what I mean by that is even little things like body language. If they're sitting on a sofa, they'll lean in towards you. They'll make that eye contact. They allow you to put your hand on their thigh or whatever
• 02:30 - 03:00 it is. But if everything is pulling away, there's probably not that natural attraction there. Alcohol can blur that though. I can see when people drink, they they can blur that. Generally speaking, it's the leaning in or leaning against physical advances. Do you think that abstinence is a good thing for people? Sexual abstinence. Um, I think it's only if you define it including pornography. Some men will abstain from women, but they use pornography on a regular basis. And that would actually be worse. I think it's probably I think abstinence to pornography is more
• 03:00 - 03:30 important than abstinence to actual women. And the reason being is actual women still give you a realistic perception of what connection looks like, what connection is required, and the activity that's required in order to get outcome. Pornography allows you to get all of the outcome without any of the work. So that is a dangerous abstinence if you're just using pornography. Uh the most important abstinence is pornography. And if you can abstain from physical relationships, I think it's not that I'm saying you can never touch a woman, but touch women
• 03:30 - 04:00 that you would be relatively happy if worst case scenario they got pregnant. You'd be relatively okay. Like you wouldn't be ideal, but she's not the worst woman on the planet. When you drop your standards too low and you start sleeping with women on such a low level, what will happen is just because you want sex. What will happen is when you meet a woman just slightly above the low level you're used to, you fall madly in love. Your standard starts to drop. you start to get used to a lower standard of woman. When you keep your standards high, the woman that it takes to marry you will still have to be high caliber. But if you're a man that's sleeping
• 04:00 - 04:30 around all day every day, all it has to be she has to be slightly above the low level you're used to and you glorify her. So, it's really important to keep your standards high because she's going to be the mother of your children. If you have been friend-zoned by somebody, how do you get out of that? Um, you reframe how you see her. Instead of trying, begging her to see you differently, you now also friend zone her. A lot of people will say you have to walk away from a friendship and when a girl offers you a friendship, never be her friend again. I think you're missing out on a really important um data
• 04:30 - 05:00 collection when you walk away from women that you were once attracted to and you don't become their friend. If she's friend-zone, no problem. There's plenty of room for friendships in your life. I think some of the most valuable friendships you can have is with women. And if you were once attracted to them and you became friends with them, you gain insight into their opinion on men. You gain insight into the women that you find attractive, how they think. So I I've had men many like when I was younger and stuff that may have had an initial attraction and then we became friends. But by me staying in their
• 05:00 - 05:30 life, we give each other so much feedback. It's like, do you remember you did that? Oh my god, that was so creepy. Why did you do that? Why did you why didn't you just say this? Do you feel like that's a true friendship? Because you always hear those those things on TikTok or Instagram where they call they had the woman call her like guy best friends like, "Hey, uh, I'm single now. Do you want to go on a date?" All the guys are like, "Yeah, would love to." I think the truth of behind a friendship is the boundaries you establish. And the key is you wouldn't make that phone call. The key is you wouldn't go to their house at that time and night. Cuz a lot of men would be like, "Oh yeah,
• 05:30 - 06:00 what if you called them in the middle of the night and said that you were this and I was like, but the key to the friendship is we wouldn't do that." Yeah. But I but but in a hypothetical the door is still open for the guy in a way. The guy would always say yes and the girl would say no. Well, I think it's really important cut to the chase. Yeah. I I'm sure I'm sure they would. Look, here's the in my personal experience, I'm a bit of anomaly like that because I'm very good at friend-zoning myself to the point where my male friends cannot sexualize me anymore because they know me so well. I know them so well. It's such a different kind of vibe. So, I
• 06:00 - 06:30 understand I'm an anomaly. I do believe that perhaps that could happen in any circumstance. But the key to your friendships is that the friendship means more than the attraction if there was any attraction. And that's what makes a true friendship. The friendship itself is more important than the attraction. And you want to keep them in your life more than you want to sleep with them. And that's I think I think that's true. But I think when when a guy comes in initially with that expectation of I want to date, I find you highly attractive. And then the guy gets friend-zoned. I feel like as soon as that door is opened or if it's ever
• 06:30 - 07:00 opened because there is that initial spark of attraction. I mean granted what if what if in the process of becoming a friend you learn so much about her that you find unattractive. I the reason I think it's really like okay I I I love the insight. I think this is a place where we would disagree. I do think it's possible for guys and girls to be friends but I'm saying this is a generalization. So light me up in the comments if you want to. I would say of guys and girls friendships maybe less than 6% 7% you know what I mean like the
• 07:00 - 07:30 guy would say the guy would say no so and even if he does find things very unattractive in the girl the guy still is like they're still friends and guys get attracted to the fact that oh I've got to know this girl really well I feel like I understand her personality and she knows me really well therefore it's like Mr. Right instead of like you know the Mr. I think it's really important to have human qualities as a criteria for sex. And what I mean by that is um yes, she might be a really great friend, but
• 07:30 - 08:00 you if you should have some kind of deal breakers with even the people you sleep with. Now, if I know my friend inside out and I know what he's like and I know that he sleeps with lots of girls on a night out and I know that my friends like might be cheaters or I know that my friends have um I'm not their usual type or I know that if I know that they've got these traits in them, I have certain human qualities as part of my criteria to be with somebody. So, if a man doesn't have human qualities, just the fact that she's saying yes is enough for him to jump on that. But when he knows that, oh god, she gets so drunk and she
• 08:00 - 08:30 does this with every guy, or I know so many guys I've slept with her and it's just a bit offputting or I don't really need to deal with her in the morning. I know she's going to be really emotional. When he adds human qualities to the women that even he sleeps with, it's it's possible.