The Best Advice Dr. Maya Angelou Has Ever Given—and Received | SuperSoul Sunday | OWN

Summary

In this SuperSoul Sunday conversation, Oprah asks Dr. Maya Angelou to reflect on whether she considers herself wise and what advice has mattered most in her life. Angelou answers with humility, saying she is “in root” and still learning, but now knows enough to try to live what she knows. When asked about the best advice she has given, she shares two powerful lessons she told her son: to get a friend, you must be a friend, and to keep an inviolable place inside yourself that no one has the right to violate. She explains that this inner boundary is sacred—perhaps even the place where one meets God—and that people must learn to say no and protect their own spirit. Asked about the best advice she has received, she says it is to forgive, but clarifies that forgiveness does not mean welcoming hurtful people back into close relationship. Instead, it means being finished with them while still protecting oneself and holding firm boundaries.

Highlights

• Maya Angelou says she’s still “in root,” but further along than before 🌳
• Her best advice to her son: be a friend if you want friends 💬
• She emphasizes keeping a pristine inner place that belongs only to you ✨
• “Back up” becomes a boundary-setting mantra for invasive or rude behavior 🚧
• Her best advice received: forgive, but don’t confuse forgiveness with access 🕊️
• Self-protection is framed as a responsibility, not selfishness 🧭

Key Takeaways

• Wisdom is a lifelong process, not a finish line 🌱
• To have friends, you have to be a friend first 🤝
• Protect the sacred space inside yourself—no one gets to violate it 🛡️
• Learning to say no is an act of self-respect ✋
• Forgiveness is not the same as giving people access to you again 🙅‍♀️
• You have to take care of yourself before you can truly give to others 💛

Overview

The conversation opens with a warm reflection on wisdom and aging, as Oprah revisits an earlier interview and asks Maya Angelou whether she now sees herself as wise. Angelou responds with characteristic humility, saying she is still in growth, still learning, and still trying to live what she knows. It’s a grounded, graceful reminder that wisdom isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about continuing to become.

When asked about the best advice she has ever given, Angelou points to two lessons she shared with her son. First, if you want a friend, you must be a friend. Second, every person must protect a sacred inner space that nobody has the right to invade. She describes this space as pristine and inviolable, a deeply personal boundary that must be defended with confidence and clarity.

The second half of the conversation turns to the best advice she has received, and Angelou names forgiveness. But she’s careful to define it: forgiving someone does not mean inviting them back into your life or letting them hurt you again. For her, forgiveness is a way of being done with harm while still protecting herself. The exchange closes with a powerful message: take care of yourself first so you have something real to give to others.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:55: Reflecting on Wisdom and Being "in Root" The speaker reflects on whether she is wise, saying she is still “in root” but further along and more aware of what she knows and can live by. She then shares the best advice she ever gave: to be a friend in order to have friends, and to protect an inner, inviolable place within oneself—one that must remain clean and clear, where no one has the right to mistreat you, because it may be the place where you encounter God.
• 00:55 - 01:45: Growth, Gratitude, and Knowing Enough The speaker reflects on being further along in life but still not fully wise, emphasizing gratitude for knowing a lot and enough to try to live by that knowledge, while acknowledging there is still more to learn. She discusses the best advice she has given—telling her son that to get a friend, you must be a friend, and that each person should protect a pristine inner place that no one has the right to violate. She adds that people should be told to stop or back up when necessary, and notes that another strong lesson is to believe people when they show you who they are.
• 01:45 - 02:40: A Core Life Lesson: Believe People When They Show You Who They Are The speaker reflects that wisdom is still a work in progress, emphasizing that she knows more than before and tries to live by what she knows, while also sharing her best advice: to make friends, you must be a friend, and to keep an inviolable, pristine inner place that no one has the right to violate or disrespect.
• 02:40 - 03:40: Protecting Your Inner Space and Boundaries The speaker emphasizes that everyone has an inner place that others have no right to invade, and that rude or invasive language should be met with clear boundaries.
• 03:40 - 04:20: Responding to Rudeness with Self-Respect The discussion emphasizes that every person has a sacred inner space that others have no right to invade. When someone speaks rudely or invasively, the appropriate response is to assert boundaries and protect that space, rather than passively accept mistreatment.
• 04:20 - 05:00: Forgiveness as the Greatest Advice The speakers identify forgiveness as the greatest advice, emphasizing that forgiving someone does not mean inviting them back into close relationship. Instead, forgiveness is described as being finished with the offense, while still maintaining personal boundaries and self-protection. The chapter closes with the idea that taking care of oneself first makes it possible to give to others.

The Best Advice Dr. Maya Angelou Has Ever Given—and Received | SuperSoul Sunday | OWN Transcription

• Segment 1: 00:00 - 02:30 in 2000 when you were 72 I interviewed you for the magazine and I asked you if you considered yourself wise and at the time you answered well I'm in root that's true and how would you answer that now I'm in root you're still I'm further along than I was but I'm I'm I'm still in root I don't know when I know enough I know I know a lot and I'm grateful for that I know I know enough to try to to live what I know now that's a lot who that's a lot but I still don't have it all what do you think that you my Angelo everybody who quotes you and I quote you and then they quote me do you and all what do you think is the best piece of advice you've given well [Music] h well I'm thinking that the best advice I've ever given I hope was that which I gave to my son when he was growing up he said I don't have any friends how can I get some friends and although I was very young I told him two things I told him in order to get a friend you have to be a friend be ready to be a friend and also I told him there's a place in you that you must keep inv violate you must keep it pristine clean so that nobody has the right to curse you or treat you badly nobody no mother father no wife no husband no nobody because that may be the place you go to when you meet God you have to have a place with that you say stop it back up not you must not know no absolutely and that's one I told you 25 years ago yes say no when it's no yeah say so back it up because that place has to remain clean and clear and that has to be a place within yourself yes ma'am yeah that is the best advice I know everybody who's watching is going to say when
• Segment 2: 00:00 - 02:30 people show you who they are believe them that's also very good it is good now yeah but nothing tops having the
• Segment 3: 02:30 - 05:00 place inside yourself that nobody else nobody has has a right to invade no yes and when the when the person comes with rude language to you or invasive language to you you have to be able to say back up not me you don't I'm don't you know I'm a Child of God what is the best piece of advice you've ever gotten so many good things I know yeah um I guess the greatest advice is to forgive I don't anoint it with anything I just forgive it but don't we forgive I've tried to let people know on the show as you have taught me over the years that when you forgive somebody doesn't mean you want to sit down and invite them to your table no no no no indeed not I just mean I'm finished with you you go away yes yes you go away now I don't I don't say go away and harm somebody else but I do have to protect myself I look like a n if I have somebody else to protect me and I'm not willing to protect myself yeah that's one of the great lessons that you've taught me too if you got to be willing to take care of this first yes ma'am then you have enough to give to other people [Music]