Trump Causes Uproar at Pope’s Funeral, Approval Rating Lowest in 80 Years & Santos Going to Prison

Summary

Highlights

• Trump showed up at the Pope’s funeral in a bold blue suit, shocking many who expected the traditional dark attire. 🚀
• Biden and Trump, the ever-estranged political duo, managed not to meet or even share a flight to the funeral. ✈️🙅‍♂️
• A light-hearted segment guessing who may really be a superhero brought unexpected fun and laughs. 🦸‍♀️🎭
• Kimmel lampooned Trump's misleading rhetoric on tariffs and his imaginary Canadian political campaign. 🍁🗳
• George Santos's sentencing for fraud and identity theft wrapped up the show with a serious yet comical legal note. 🔒😅

Key Takeaways

• Trump caused a stir at the Pope’s funeral by wearing an inappropriately colored suit, proving that dress codes still matter! 🤵‍♂️
• Biden and Trump kept their distance at the funeral, continuing their epic saga of avoidance and rivalry. 💼✈️
• Melania's birthday was celebrated with typical Trump-style indifference, hinting at some comical relationship dynamics. 🎂✈️
• George Santos faces serious consequences as he's sentenced to prison, showing that all actions have repercussions. 🚔🏛
• Jimmy Kimmel's superhero day quiz added a playful twist to the show, keeping audiences entertained. 🦸‍♂️😂

Overview

Chapters

• 00:00 - 01:00: Opening Remarks and Weekend Recap The host welcomes the audience and hopes they had a good weekend. The speaker, GMO, shares a personal story about playing basketball with friends at the gym. During the game, GMO attempted to get the ball but ended up landing awkwardly on someone's foot, suggesting an unfortunate incident occurred.
• 01:00 - 03:00: Trump's Attendance at the Pope's Funeral The chapter humorously reflects on age and the limitations it imposes on activities like playing basketball. Despite questioning if the injury occurred while watching basketball and tripping over a tequila bottle, it's confirmed the injury was sustained while actually playing. There's a recognition of needing to accept one's limitations with age, as is humorously reinforced by the commentary from the narrator's wife. The suggestion to switch to rims with salt alludes to choosing safer activities.
• 03:00 - 05:00: Biden and Trump's Encounters at the Funeral The chapter discusses a situation where Biden and Trump encounter each other at a funeral. During this period, there's a notable injury affecting an individual named GMO, preventing them from traveling to Rome to represent the United States at the Pope's funeral. As a result, President Trump is sent in his place to represent the country. There's also a mention of concerns about how an injury could impact a job, indicating personal and professional stakes linked to the event.
• 05:00 - 08:00: Trump and Zilenski's Meeting In this chapter titled 'Trump and Zilenski's Meeting,' the discussion revolves around Trump's visit with the Pope, during which he humorously considered acquiring the Pope mobile for his golf course rounds. Despite the Vatican's dress code recommending a dark suit, Trump opted for a notably bright blue suit, reminiscent of something from a comedic funeral collection. This choice of attire drew parallels to a previous backlash Fox News directed at President Obama for wearing a tan suit, highlighting the scrutiny of presidential fashion choices.
• 08:00 - 10:00: Melania's Birthday on Air Force One The chapter titled 'Melania's Birthday on Air Force One' presents a scene at the Pope's funeral where the President is noted for being the only person not dressed in a dark suit, a detail which did not go unnoticed by others. The White House press secretary defends this attire choice by emphasizing how presidential the President appeared alongside the First Lady. Melania, described as impeccably dressed, is a focal point of admiration, although it's noted that she appears somewhat stunned. This forms part of the narrative showcasing their public appearance together.
• 10:00 - 12:00: Trump's Approval Rating and Comments on Canada The chapter discusses an event where Donald Trump and Joe Biden were both present. Trump appeared either deeply engrossed in thought or asleep, while Biden was actively engaging with attendees like a social greeter. The narrative highlights their non-interaction during the event, noting that Trump did not offer Biden a ride on Air Force One, despite the tradition for presidents to travel together.
• 12:00 - 16:00: George Santos' Sentencing The chapter discusses the contrasting travel arrangements of former President Donald Trump and President Joe Biden, highlighting Biden's preference for using commercial airlines like Spirit Airlines. It also contrasts their fashion choices, noting Biden's trademark aviator sunglasses versus the absence of sunglasses on Trump, even during sunny events, leading to a humorous observation about the rarity of images of Trump wearing sunglasses.
• 16:00 - 18:00: Interview with Bill Belichick This chapter features an interview with Bill Belichick, where there is a discussion about sunglasses in relation to public figures like Biden. The conversation humorously delves into why some individuals, despite spending much time outdoors or having a signature style, might choose not to wear sunglasses. It touches on personal preferences and anecdotes about family influence on such choices.
• 18:00 - 21:00: Superhero Day and Audience Interaction The chapter titled 'Superhero Day and Audience Interaction' seems to describe a rather informal and slightly humorous international meeting. It involves a fictitious or satirical setup with world leaders, as it mentions 'Trump,' 'President Zilinski of Ukraine,' and possibly references a character named 'Joba the Pizza Hut.' The setting appears to be unconventional, with an emphasis on the irony of a 'private meeting in the least private spot imaginable.' There are also playful references to 'a long ago in a galaxy far far away,' reminiscent of Star Wars, suggesting the meeting's light-hearted, narrative-driven approach. The chapter hints at political satire, possibly mocking the interactions and protocols typically associated with diplomatic events.
• 21:00 - 23:00: Closing Remarks The chapter provides a light-hearted account of an event occurring on Melania's birthday during a discussion on Air Force One. It captures the playful conversation about sending Melania into the 'lion's pit,' referring to the press pool, for her birthday. The tone is informal and humorous, highlighting an anecdote about dealing with the press on an official trip to Italy.

Trump Causes Uproar at Pope’s Funeral, Approval Rating Lowest in 80 Years & Santos Going to Prison Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 Hi, thanks for watching. Thanks for coming. Thanks for joining us. I hope you had a boy. I hope you had a better weekend than GMO did. What happened to you, GMO? Tell the story. So, I was playing basketball and Well, you were what? And believe it or not, I was playing basketball. Who were you playing basketball with? Uh, with the guys in the gym. Okay. So, I I went for the ball. We got Magic Jansen over here. So, I went for the ball and I landed it in his foot and my my foot went like
• 00:30 - 01:00 this and then Be honest, did you really break it playing basketball or were you watching basketball and tripped over a bottle of tequila this week? No. I really was playing basketball. I I wish. You know, GM, there comes a time in every man's life when he has to accept that he's too old to play basketball. And for you, that was like 18 years ago. That's what my wife say too. You should stick to rims that have salt
• 01:00 - 01:30 around them. That should be your Yeah, I go into You think you're going to Are will you be healed up and ready for the finals? Yeah, of course. Hopefully. But hopefully you I'm just worried about how this could affect your job sitting there and not paying attention to anything I say. No, no, no. Don't worry. I I'm good for you here. All right. Well, sadly, the injury to his ankle meant GMO was unable to make the trip to Rome for the Pope's funeral. He was supposed to represent Oh, yeah. the United States. They had to send the president instead. President Trump flew to Rome to pay his
• 01:30 - 02:00 respects and also to see if he could get a deal on the Pope mobile to drive around his golf course. For whatever reason, even though the Vatican dress code recommended, specifically recommended a dark suit for the service, Trump showed up in his bluest blue suit, something from the Cedric the Entertainer funeral collection. You know, Fox News, you may remember, had a collective aneurysm when President Obama wore a tan suit to a press briefing. Man oh man, if Obama wore a blue suit to the
• 02:00 - 02:30 Pope's funeral, Sean Hannity's head would explode inside Trump's ass. The fact that he was the only person not wearing a dark suit did not go unnoticed. Uh so the White House press secretary pushed back. She said the president looked great and presidential alongside our stunning first lady who was as usual dressed perfectly for the occasion. And she's right about Milani. I don't know about stunning, but she definitely looks stunned. Show them together cuz this is
• 02:30 - 03:00 the happiest I've ever seen these two together. It was like they're on their second honeymoon or something. And then the president either went deep in prayer or deep asleep. I don't know. Meanwhile, our former president, Joe Biden, was there too. And he was chatting people up like he was a greeter at Walmart. He was all over everything. Trump and Biden did not cross paths at the funeral. And Trump did not give Biden a ride on Air Force One. As is tradition, when presidents attend the
• 03:00 - 03:30 same event, they often travel together. Not these two. Biden was like, "You know what? I'll get on a Spirit Airlines over there." And this is interesting. Biden wore his trademark aviator sunglasses to the service. But it got me thinking, I've never seen Donald Trump wear sunglasses. It was a very sunny day. Lots of people, you can see, had sunglasses on. Not Trump. In fact, if you Google Trump wearing sunglasses, you get thousands of pictures of him not wearing sunglasses. Except the only pictures of him wearing anything even like them are shots of him during the
• 03:30 - 04:00 solar eclipse. the glasses he then famously took off so he could stare directly into the sun. It's weird though, right? I mean, he golfs a lot. He's outside a lot. I'm wondering why he doesn't wear sunglasses because it's Biden's thing. Or did he wear them once as a kid and his dad said, "You look stupid." Like his sons, Eric and Don Jr., I don't know the answer. It's the only thing I don't know about this person. I think he would look good in sunglasses. get him a pair like
• 04:00 - 04:30 Elton John's. Maybe it'll turn everything around. Shortly before the funeral, Trump took a moment to meet with President Zilinski of Ukraine. They had a private meeting in the least private spot imaginable. Uh it was this reminds me of a I don't know if you remember a very similar meeting that took place a long ago in a galaxy far far away. This was the first time Zalinsky and Joba the Pizza Hut have met since the setup in the Oval Office back in February. This time they both violated the dress code. Saturday also
• 04:30 - 05:00 happened to be Melania's birthday which was a subject of discussion on the way to Italy with the press pool on Air Force One. What's on tap for Melania's birthday? Oh, she's going to have a great birthday. She's got she's got a working birthday. She's up front. I should send her back. You want to have somebody answer question? I'll send I'll send her back into the lion's pit. Susie, let's send Velia back to the Lion's Pit. I like that he doesn't even know where
• 05:00 - 05:30 she is on a plane. They're on a private plane. Somehow he can't find her. And it's not a lion's pit. It's a lion's den. Viper pit. Lion's den. You'd think someone who lies that much would know more about lions, but everything he says is wrong. But I will say, he more than makes up for it with husbandship. Are you taking Mrs. Trump to dinner? Have you had time to get her a present? You've been very busy. Oh, hold on. Let's stop it right there cuz I want Do we think that Donald
• 05:30 - 06:00 Trump is a taking Melania to dinner and b did he get her a gift for her birthday? All right, let's find out. I'll take her for dinner on the uh on the Boeing. I'll take her for dinner on Air Force One. I haven't had much time to present now. I love it. We've been pretty busy, but it's working out. things are working out very well and people are starting to understand how good tariffs are for us. So the answer is no and no. But nice
• 06:00 - 06:30 work slipping the tariffs in there. They're having dinner on the plane. Well, what woman wouldn't want to celebrate her birthday in Italy with airplane food, watching her husband wolf down a 30 piece McNuggets and a liter of diet coke. Melania just turned 55, which is, you know, hard for Trump. He's never been a with a woman of that age before. and she seems to have other interests too because this morning she announced a contest the likes of which have never been seen in this country
• 06:30 - 07:00 before. Thank you so much for congratulations on birthday. I am touched and so smiling and now you can be touched too. Introducing new contest America's next top first lady wife because I quit. I love position as Donald's wife. But now it is time to pass torch to new prisoner. I mean partner. This could be you. But you must fit following
• 07:00 - 07:30 requirement. Beautiful in face and body. Wear fancy hat. Don't give a about Christmas stuff. Who gives a about Christmas stuff? Feed Eric little mealworm pellet every day. Read books to the children. Thank you America. Now I give you two weeks notice until time I am leaving on air slovenia blimp. Have good marriage. Do not text or call. You will not find me. Congratulation to next America's next top first lady wife. Be
• 07:30 - 08:00 best I'm Donald Trump and I approve this message. You know what? He's getting up just in time. I don't know if you've seen, but Trump's approval ratings are the lowest for any president at this stage of his tenure in 80 years. New poll from ABC News and the Washington Post has his approval rating at only 39%. After almost 100 days in office, Trump is as popular as Kanye at a bot mitzvah. And
• 08:00 - 08:30 what do you do when you're down in the polls? You attack the polls. fake polls from fake news organizations and it's in all caps. So that means it's extra true. These people should be investigated for election fraud. Does he know there's no election coming up? Maybe he means the election in Canada today. Also this morning, El Presidente appeared to suggest that Canadians who voted on a new prime minister today should vote for him for prime minister. He said, "Good luck to
• 08:30 - 09:00 the great people of Canada. Elect the man who has the strength and wisdom to cut your taxes in half. Increase your military power for free to the highest level in the world. Have your car, steel, aluminum, lumber, energy, and all other businesses quadruple in size with zero tariffs or taxes. All positives with no negatives. It was meant to be. That's right. Canadians, vote for the man who puts the in Tim Hortons. He is What is he doing? Usually when Trump tries to interfere in election, at
• 09:00 - 09:30 least it's one of ours, right? This is like Drake running for mayor of Compton. Of course, Trump knows this isn't going to happen. No one in Canada is voting for him for anything. Canada's not going to be our 51st state. He just wants to distract us from the fact that JD Vance killed the Pope the other day. That's what this is. And then we have the notably less successful con man, former Congressman George Santos, who was sentenced to 87 months
• 09:30 - 10:00 in prison for wire fraud and aggravated identity theft sentenced in New York on Friday. You can see here he is uh exiting court with his attorneys who failed. Um you know, let me say something about this. They can lock up George Santos all they want, but they will never tame Qatara Ravage. During the sentencing, Santos said in his statement to the court, I cannot rewrite the past. Which is funny
• 10:00 - 10:30 because rewriting the past is one of the main reasons he's going to prison for seven years. I will tell you what that Cell Bro is going to have one hell of a volleyball team this year. Now that George is going to jail, I was wondering what will become of his body man. I don't know if you remember this guy was always by his side. Vish Burra aka Mr. Smileybeard would just he did a lot of blocking for George when George didn't want to talk to anybody. Will he go into
• 10:30 - 11:00 prison with Santa's or will they be forced to live apart living separate lives? That was a good one. I feel like I'm walking down memory lane right now. Goodbye Vish. Goodbye George. Hey, speaking of Patriots, the former coach of the New England Ones, Bill Bich, had a doozy of an interview with CBS Sunday morning yesterday. Did you see this? Bill brought out his dirtiest, rattiest hoodie to avoid a variety of subjects, including his relationship with team owner Robert Craft and his relationship
• 11:00 - 11:30 with his 24year-old girlfriend Jordan. Jordan was a constant presence during our interview. You have Jordan right over there. Everybody in the world seems to be following this relationship. You've got an opinion about your private life. It's got nothing to do with them, but they're invested in it. How do you deal with that? Never been too worried about what everybody else thinks. Just try to do what I feel like is best for me and and what's right. How did you guys meet? Not talking about this. No.
• 11:30 - 12:00 No. It's a topic neither one of them is comfortable commenting on. So, I'm guessing not at church then. I got to say, I love this relationship. I can't get enough of those two. It's like they need a reality show. It's like the Golden Bachelor meets the regular Bachelorette. They met at a Daddy Daughter dance. What I mean, no, no, no. They met on the swing set. It was Hey, we got a big show for you tonight. Moments from now, I will assemble the cast from Marvel's new movie Thunderbolts. and they could not be
• 12:00 - 12:30 here on a more appropriate day because today happens to be Superhero Day, National Superhero Day. Someone decided that this is a holiday and now we are forced to celebrate it. Those who are here in our studio audience, you know that we are located on Hollywood Boulevard, a street that is literally infested with people dressed up like superheroes. And so, in honor of superhero day, we decided to have some fun by asking some folks on the street, are you a superhero? Very simple game.
• 12:30 - 13:00 Together we will guess which of these people are out of costume costume superheroes. Are you ready? All right. Our first pedestrian is What's your name and where are you from? My name is Iond. I'm from Peru. And are you a superhero? Is Evette from Peru a superhero? You saw her? Well, let's see her ourselves. Oh, is that beautiful plane?
• 13:00 - 13:30 The vet has no idea what that means. All right, who's next? What's your name and where are you from? My name is Dio Garcia. I'm from Miami, Florida. And Dale, are you a superhero? Is Diego a superhero? No. Let's find out. No. What do you do for a living? Uh, I'm an associate porn producer. You know, not all heroes wear capes. Some Next. What's your name and where are you from? My name is Bernard Golden. I'm
• 13:30 - 14:00 from Newport News, Virginia. And Bernard, are you a superhero? Is Bernard a superhero? Everyone says yes. Let's see what Bernard says. Are you a superhero? Hi, Ne. Close enough. Close enough. Shall we do one more? What's your name and where are you from? I'm Johnny Shakespeare from San Francisco. And Johnny Shakespeare, are you a superhero? Johnny Shakespeare is a super name, but is he a hero?
• 14:00 - 14:30 All right. Well, let's see. It's me, Luigi. And Captain America. I also do Jesus. He rose again again. Well, that is a man who has reigned. GMO, do you know how many subscribers we have on YouTube now? Uh, 20 million. That's right. Yeah, that's why we're wearing these glasses. Thanks for being a subscriber. If you're not, help us get to 20 million and one.