Why Women PULL AWAY when you try to see them in person & go ghost

Summary

In this engaging video, terryjoeljunior delves into the perplexing phenomenon of 'ghosting,' particularly focusing on why women might pull away when men try to meet them in person. He argues that the issue often lies not with the men, but with the complex insecurities and psychological games women might play. According to him, many women are not mentally ready or confident enough to meet face-to-face, despite exhibiting interest. This dynamic is explained through a mix of personal anecdotes and psychological insights, emphasizing that rejection often isn't personal. It's a thought-provoking perspective that encourages viewers not to take such experiences to heart and to understand the intricacies of modern dating dynamics.

Highlights

• Women often go ghost due to their insecurities rather than men's actions. 👻
• Attractive women might pull away because they fear inadequacy compared to their self-image. 💃
• Men shouldn't blame themselves for ghosting; it's often the women's inner conflicts. 🧠
• The video suggests understanding women's psychology to better handle dating experiences. 📚
• Success in dating can depend on being patient and seeing through superficial behaviors. 👀

Key Takeaways

• Ghosting isn't always personal; it's often about the other person's insecurities. 🤔
• Women who appear confident may actually be insecure, especially about meeting in person. 😲
• Rejection is frequently a psychological game rather than a true reflection of disinterest. 🎭
• Navigating modern dating requires patience and understanding of underlying dynamics. ⏳
• Most rejections are not because of men's worth, but due to women's fears. 😬

Overview

Terryjoeljunior starts off by tackling a common dating scenario: when women initially show interest but then pull back when it comes to meeting in person. His take is straightforward and bracingly honest, highlighting that the issue usually lies not with the men, but with the women’s own insecurities and the pressure they feel to present a certain image.

In a tone mixing humor with empathy, the video moves through several personal anecdotes that underline his points. From tales of pretty girls who flee at the thought of real-life encounters, to candid observations about women’s fears of rejection and the facade they maintain, it's a raw look into why women might be hesitant to meet up despite their initial interest.

He concludes with reassuring advice for men not to take ghosting too personally, explaining that women often have their own internal struggles that cause withdrawal rather than any real reflection on a man's value. It's about patience, persistence, and understanding the psychological angles of today's dating world.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction In the 'Introduction' chapter, the speaker focuses on shaping the audience's mindset. The chapter addresses common misconceptions and incorrect beliefs people hold during their experiences. The speaker aims to realign these thoughts to set the foundation for upcoming discussions.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Why Women Disappear This chapter delves into the phenomenon of women seemingly disappearing or going 'ghost' when there is a display of high interest towards them. The discussion aims to uncover the reasons behind this behavior, dispelling any misconceptions that it is due to superficial causes.
• 01:00 - 02:00: Women's Internal Struggles The chapter titled 'Women's Internal Struggles' discusses the current mental and emotional state of women. It suggests that women today are facing significant challenges in aligning with their personal energy. These challenges hinder them from appreciating and interacting positively with confident and self-assured individuals, often feeling out of place or mentally unprepared for such engagements. The narrative implies a need for introspection and addressing inner conflicts to improve their mental alignment and relationship dynamics.
• 02:00 - 03:00: Acting vs. Reality The chapter 'Acting vs. Reality' discusses the theme of perceived intentions versus real actions, especially in interpersonal relationships. The narrator reflects on experiences with women who are communicative and engaging in digital spaces, but fail to follow through with in-person meetings. This highlights the disparity between digital interactions and real-life commitments.
• 03:00 - 04:00: Perceptions and Overthinking The chapter discusses the tendency of people to disappear or "ghost" during times of uncertainty or emotional turmoil. It suggests that such individuals retreat because they feel unworthy or intimidated, especially when confronted with someone they perceive as superior or desirable. The chapter delves into themes of perception, self-worth, and the psychological reasons behind distancing oneself, as well as the ramifications of overthinking these situations.
• 04:00 - 06:00: Personal Anecdote This chapter delves into the facade put up by certain individuals who project an image of being 'high value.' The narrative suggests that while some might appear externally appealing or come across as high-value individuals, internally they might be dealing with significant issues. The text conveys a sense of skepticism about the authenticity of these personas, hinting at an underlying disparity between appearance and reality. It insinuates that these individuals put on elaborate acts to convince others—and perhaps themselves—of their worth.
• 06:00 - 08:00: Insecurities and Intimidation The chapter explores the theme of insecurities and intimidation in relationships. It discusses the behavior of individuals who retreat from a relationship when things become serious or real. This withdrawal is often due to avoidance tactics that are specifically directed at a certain individual, while still maintaining interactions with others. The narrative highlights a common scenario in the dating scene where a single woman continues to engage with multiple individuals, implying the competition involved in securing a committed relationship. The text reflects on the necessity of drawing a partner's attention away from others to establish a more exclusive connection.
• 08:00 - 09:00: The Reality of Pretty Women The chapter discusses the common tendency of overthinking when dealing with attractive women. It emphasizes that men often believe they are at fault when interactions do not go as planned, which leads to unnecessary self-blame. The key message is to stop over-analyzing every word and action, and instead, focus on the natural flow of relationships without excessive self-scrutiny.
• 09:00 - 11:00: Misconceptions in Coaching The chapter "Misconceptions in Coaching" discusses the varying attitudes and openness of people, particularly women, in the context of coaching or interaction. Some individuals may not care much and are open, making it easier to understand them because they have little to hide. On the other hand, some may be more guarded, not wanting others to truly know them, regardless of their outward appearance.
• 11:00 - 13:00: The Game of Popularity In 'The Game of Popularity,' the narrator shares a personal anecdote about attempting to meet a girl he was interested in. He describes her as one of the prettiest girls he has talked to, but notes she was very hesitant to meet in person. In 2021, during their off-and-on interactions, he perceived that she liked him. Despite her good looks and younger age, the girl ultimately did not follow through with meeting him face-to-face, leading him to reflect on the complexities of social interactions and popularity.
• 13:00 - 15:00: Rejection and Overthinking The chapter 'Rejection and Overthinking' describes a relationship experience between two individuals: one who was 25 and the other 19, during the year 2021. The narrative focuses on their conversations about meeting each other, which were often enthusiastic at the beginning. However, as plans to meet became more concrete, the enthusiasm began to wane, resulting in fewer conversations and a noticeable withdrawal. This pattern suggests themes of hesitation, rejection, and the tendency to overthink potential meetings, leading to a breakdown in communication.
• 15:00 - 20:00: The Fear of Rejection The chapter discusses the recurring cycle of a girl disappearing (going 'ghost') after some communication, only to reinitiate contact a few days later with a casual message like 'Oh, hey, stranger.' This leads to a loss of interest from the narrator, who eventually runs into the girl at a mall. The encounter highlights the unpredictability and inconsistency that contribute to the fear of rejection.
• 20:00 - 23:00: Conclusion and Call to Action The chapter titled 'Conclusion and Call to Action' discusses the theme of women and their insecurities. It emphasizes that women are not as secure as they often appear, which is an important insight for individuals who might be overburdening themselves with unrealistic expectations in relationships or interactions. The narrative seeks to enlighten listeners on understanding these dynamics in order to alleviate self-imposed pressures.

Why Women PULL AWAY when you try to see them in person & go ghost Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 So, in this video, I'm going to get your guys's heads in the right place because too many of you go through these experiences and you think and believe the wrong things through these experiences that you're having.
• 00:30 - 01:00 We're going to talk about why women all of a sudden disappear and pretty much go ghost when you try to see them. And if not see them, you're initiating some high levels of interest. The reason this happens, it's not because of anything
• 01:00 - 01:30 you've done that's necessarily deemed wrong. You guys don't You guys are overlooking how out of whack women are today in their own energy. and they're not in the right place mentally to actually come and see a stud like yourself. They are not in the right
• 01:30 - 02:00 headsp space, bro. They're not. I can't tell you guys the amount of women over the years I have talked to that when push came to shove, they have no problem sitting back just giving you some messages. When it comes down to the nitty-gritty of things, when it comes down to actually seeing them in real life, they're nowhere to be seen.
• 02:00 - 02:30 They're nowhere to be found. They pull back and they wait till things settle down again and they're going to start talking to you again. So, they go ghost. And this is because they know they're not fit to see a stud like yourself. They're not fit to do it. They want to act like they're so high up
• 02:30 - 03:00 there, right? They might even be good-looking women, but internally they're cooked, they're fried. So, they're going to put on this act and persona like they're so they're such a high value girl, right? They're such a high value girl. That's what they're going to do.
• 03:00 - 03:30 And when things get real, they pull back. And they pull back because they're avoiding you specifically. They're probably going to still talk to some other guys. Because what women that what woman that is single today does not talk to other guys. You basically have to get a woman away from other dudes eventually when
• 03:30 - 04:00 the time comes if you're going to make her your girlfriend one day or whatever's going on. But you guys overlook the process when it comes to these types of women way too much. You guys overlook it way too much. You guys put too much in yourself. You guys are thinking far too much in your own heads that you did something wrong or you should have said this differently or bro, it's it it has
• 04:00 - 04:30 nothing to do with that. It has absolutely nothing to do with that. And then there's the odd women who will make it easy. It's because they don't really care that much and they have not that much to hide. They just don't really care. they they will see you. And then some, they don't want you to know them for who they actually are. Even if they're pretty. Some of the
• 04:30 - 05:00 prettiest girls I've talked to, bro, actually ran for the hills when it came down to actually meeting in person. I swear to God. And you can ask one of my friends, bro. One time in 2021, I was talking to this girl. It was very off and on. She liked me. I could tell she did. She was good-looking. She's she's a good-look girl, younger than me. She
• 05:00 - 05:30 was 19 at the time, and this was 2021. So, I was 25 and she was 19. And um I just remember we talked about seeing each other, we talked about all that kind of stuff. And every time it would get to that point, just less conversation, more of a pullback, less conversation. They kind
• 05:30 - 06:00 of go ghost and then it reignites again. 3 days later, she might text you, "Oh, hey, stranger." And stuff like that. and you're just like, and then all of a sudden you kind of you lose interest yourself and you just kind of veer off. And guess what? I ended up seeing this girl in person at a mall when she was by herself and I was with one of my friends, bro. She completely was
• 06:00 - 06:30 shook. She was completely shook. So, it goes to show these women, bro, they're not all that secure. You guys have The reason I'm telling you guys this, like, this is this is known facts, bro. But the reason I'm telling you guys this is because too many of you guys are putting too much on yourselves in these situations.
• 06:30 - 07:00 Like a lot of you guys, bro, you think it's you. You think there's something wrong with you. All you're doing is trying to see the comparison, man. Like, they're clearly playing a game. They're clearly insecure. They're clearly not ready to see you just yet. So, women today can have sky-high interest and still be afraid to see you because you're intimidating.
• 07:00 - 07:30 I had a girl not too long ago, less than two weeks ago, tell me that I'm intimidating. Told me that. I don't know why I'm getting nervous all of a sudden. You make me feel intimidated and all this kind of stuff. I'm telling you guys now, when women see an attractive man
• 07:30 - 08:00 who's masculine, who's built, who's successful, who's got some stuff going on in life, they're not so just open and secure and and all this stuff. Honestly, the scummier women are more open The women who are prettier, who are more reserved, are more shy, more closed off,
• 08:00 - 08:30 more intimidated. But the other women who might not be as good-looking, they just they have less to lose. They don't really care. They're just trying to get themselves going something. They're just trying to get themselves to they're trying to get something going on in life for themselves. But these other women, bro, yeah, they're pretty, but their egos are huge. you better not say the wrong thing to them type [ __ ] Like it is what it
• 08:30 - 09:00 is. So, the main reason, like I said, why I'm making this video this evening is because too many of you guys and throughout all the coaching sess sessions I've done, you guys are actually believing this stuff is your fault or there's something you could have done different. Bro, there's nothing you could have done any differently. You could have rewarded your sentence. You could have done
• 09:00 - 09:30 whatever the you wanted. When push comes to shove, sometimes when it comes to seeing these women in real life, they fold. And it's not because they don't like you, cuz that's what you guys think. They low-key love you, bro. They they they are low-key attracted to you. Not all women have a bunch of confidence. Not all women are just going to come and see you in a second.
• 09:30 - 10:00 These women sometimes have to get more comfortable. Bro, you might talk to a to a female for a year. I've done it before. And she obviously wasn't the only one I was talking to, but bro, it took like eight months. It wasn't a full year, but it took like eight months. And I I ended up dating this girl for I think close to a year.
• 10:00 - 10:30 And this was after my main ex when I was 20 years old. I was still 20 years old when this was happening. And by the time I was 21, it was done. And um yeah, I was 20, she was 18. That's how that went. And uh yeah, I I'm telling you guys now, bro, these women are not that secure. And it has nothing to do with the way they look. They they they probably are somewhat secure in the way
• 10:30 - 11:00 they look. You guys overlook how brain dead they are, man. That's what they're afraid of. They have a smart, educated, successful, ripped, yolked, masculine dude who knows what he's talking about in front of them. and they're some brain deadad hot female. Even though they're hot, they're
• 11:00 - 11:30 still insecure. Those women do best when they have a little drink in them. Sober and they're young like that, bro. They're not confident. Why is it in school when we were in school in high school, we get to these gatherings with about eight eight friends and then these women bring about eight of their girlfriends and eight of us guys and eight girls get together and before we even get there, everyone's had a
• 11:30 - 12:00 drink because people are not that secure. Especially these women, they don't want to overthink things. They don't want to feel stupid, so they do things to try to loosen up. So you guys are trying to see these women today. It's the same thing. They don't want to get embarrassed. They don't want you to not like them like that, bro. You guys are getting it all
• 12:00 - 12:30 wrong. You guys have been getting it all wrong for a while now. It's so much more to do with them than it is with yourself. 100%. And um there's not much you can do. You got to let time go on. You got to do your thing and you got to be patient. And one day something's going
• 12:30 - 13:00 to click and that's how it's going to go. And you'll put it to rest. you won't have to deal with any of these insecure women ever again that that are going to pull back. They act like they're so hot and they might be hot, but they're insecure. They don't want you to know that. They're not going to tell you, "Oh, I'm shy and I'm insecure and I don't want you to think I'm stupid." They're not going to tell you these things. They're going to play it off as if they're right confident about themselves, but they're
• 13:00 - 13:30 not. They're not they're not going to see you in real life because of it because they know they don't want their narrative to be that you're better than them, that you're on a whole other level than them, which you are. They just don't want that to be the narrative. They want to stay in their delusion. They want to stay in that headsp space and act like they're high, mighty, and up there, but they're just going to keep
• 13:30 - 14:00 playing the game to make you think things that aren't even true, which is why they pull back, which is why they go ghost. They artificially inflate their own value. And it's the same game over and over and over and over again. And if you guys can't catch on, I don't know what else to tell you. The more confident you become in yourself, the more you see through this
• 14:00 - 14:30 BS. Rejection from women most of the time is fake. They're not actually rejecting you. They don't actually think you're not worthy of seeing. They low-key want to so bad, but they're so afraid. More than these women want to let me say it like this. More than these women want to see you, right? They don't want you to not like
• 14:30 - 15:00 them. They have such a strong desire for you not to like them. They don't want you to not like them. That's their largest desire in life. They can't have it that you don't like them. They will not risk nothing. They They ain't going to risk
• 15:00 - 15:30 [ __ ] for you to not like them. They're not going to risk none of that, bro. They want to continue to put on that facade, that image, that they're attractive, that you have to like them because they're attractive. They're only showing you bits and pieces of themselves that actually is attractive. They're hiding things about themsel that they
• 15:30 - 16:00 know is unattractive. So, like I said, they low-key want to see you. They're trying to figure things out in their head. They're overthinking things. They shell up a lot. They're trying to figure it out without exposing themsel. And the best thing these women could do is to get a hold of themselves, to work on themselves so they could
• 16:00 - 16:30 actually meet you and have everything go just fine. But you know what, guys? They don't want to do the work. They'd rather be caught up in La La Land and just roam around Earth looking hot, which that one day too is going to fade at least. So that's usually when something kicks them in the ass and makes them realize, "Oh my god, I have to be better." Because the only thing that makes me appealing at all was my
• 16:30 - 17:00 looks. Now they start to kick it into overdrive and they start to improve their personalities and everything else because man, there's women out here that are that hot that they don't have to do any of that. And it's usually when they're really young cuz everything just went to them so easily, bro. so easily. Why do you think the uglier women have better personalities and they're far more attractive or not attractive, but they're far more you can talk to them so much easier
• 17:00 - 17:30 and they don't give you a hard time because they didn't have the pretty privilege. They didn't have the pretty privilege. They weren't the girl that walks in the bus and every guy is just like staring at them like no one really cares. So, they have to be something because they don't have that. And as for men, this ain't even a thing. You have to be top sports player
• 17:30 - 18:00 on your team. You have to be captain of your team. You have to be successful in life later on after school because the game of popularity never ends. In school, the dudes that are playing sports are getting the women. And then after school, it's the dudes who end up going on to be successful and everything else that get the women. So, it literally never ends. It's a
• 18:00 - 18:30 never- ending thing. And you guys just have to understand at every corner you turn, at every woman you engage with and talk to, you have to understand the psychology behind what's actually going on because far too many of you are talking to these women and you're putting too much on yourself. That's what I've come to realize through all these coaching calls I've done and I've realized it far before that as well.
• 18:30 - 19:00 You guys got to stop thinking it's you, bro. If you can talk to a woman in the first place, you're already in the door. Because women aren't going to talk to you at all, bro. At all, if they don't see anything in you. If you can talk to these women, bro, and have conversations ongoing and you guys are getting to know each other to some degree and things are like kind of like that, you're already in the
• 19:00 - 19:30 door. Now, meeting them in person is a whole different thing. It depends who it is. I'm not saying a pretty girl won't meet you in person. Of course, they will. But a lot today, what you're going to find is you're going to start talking to a bunch of these girls and you're never going to meet them. you're never going to meet them because they stop it right there. They pull back right there and they usually come back because they're just not ready to meet
• 19:30 - 20:00 you. And the main reason because of it is they're not confident enough. Some of them might not even be ready. Some of them are are they have brain wroth. Women, bro, women have such a fear of rejection. And I'm going to tell you guys right now, bro, I get it. Like, I get it. I get why they're
• 20:00 - 20:30 like that. And And why do I say this? I've went on many first dates and there was never a second. Do you guys understand what that does to women? They wanted a second date. You didn't. You understand what that does to them? That makes them feel not good
• 20:30 - 21:00 enough. That makes them feel not so pretty. It makes them feel not desired. It makes them more insecure. It pisses them off. And now every other date they go on, they're going to start to like have this weird energy towards the next guy because they're going to be thinking in their head that this guy is going to do the same thing. He's going to make out with me. He's going to suck on my titties and he's never going to see me
• 21:00 - 21:30 again. I'm telling you, bro. I'm telling you, bro. You guys don't understand, man, how it is. That's why a lot of these women are very hesitant to see you in person. It's not yourself. And some women, yeah, you're going to get a date. You're going to you're going to see these women. You're just going to climb in the back seat and get it on like Donkey Kong and you may never see them again. It's how it goes. So these women, bro, they're protecting themselves from
• 21:30 - 22:00 so many fears and insecurities. That is why it's not that easy to see all of them. The odd one is going to make it easy. You're going to see them in very best. Sometimes you're you're going to go on a first date. It probably went fairly well. You're open to seeing them again, but they want to play a few games and stuff and there's just that going on and then it makes you lose interest. Like, bro, there's so many things and variables that go
• 22:00 - 22:30 on. I'm telling you now. So, you guys got to stop overthinking things, man, and just let things, you know, just figure it out, man. Whatever situation you're in, you're going to have to figure it out. And, um, if you guys need any help figuring it out, I do offer one-on-one coaching calls, consultations. All of the information is in the description box below. Do not
• 22:30 - 23:00 forget to subscribe to the channel and do not forget to come follow me on Instagram. It's the exact same username as here on YouTube. And uh that is pretty much it with this video. I will get on to the next cuz there's another killer topic coming up. And do not forget to watch the videos prior to the last few days because I have been making some bangers. God will and God bless. We'll see y'all at the top.