Consent explained Ft. Jack Howard | Voice Box | Childline

Summary

In this insightful episode of Voice Box by Childline, Jack Howard joins Hannah to discuss the delicate topic of consent in relationships. This conversation sheds light on understanding consent beyond verbal agreement and emphasizes the importance of recognizing non-verbal cues and maintaining open communication. The discussion demystifies misconceptions around consent, especially amongst young people, and stresses the empowering aspect of clear consensual interactions.

Highlights

• Jack Howard and Hannah emphasize the importance of mutual comfort in any intimate experience 😊.
• Understanding and observing body language are crucial elements of recognizing consent 🧐.
• Being in a relationship or having consented before doesn't mean perpetual consent 🙅.
• Alcohol and unconsciousness negate consent, highlighting the need for vigilance and care 🥴.
• Withdrawing consent at any time underscores the importance of non-stop communication 🗣️.
• Consent talks lead to better self-knowledge and more empowering relationships 🚀.

Key Takeaways

• Consent isn't just about saying 'no' - it's about mutual comfort through words and actions 🤝.
• Age of consent is important, but understanding and respecting boundaries is key for all ages 🚦.
• Consent can be revoked at any time; continuous communication is essential 🔄.
• Being drunk or asleep means no consent can be given; always be mindful and protective of others 🛑.
• Talking about consent can seem daunting, but it's crucial for healthy relationships and self-awareness 💬.

Overview

In this engaging session, Jack Howard and Hannah tackle the often misunderstood topic of consent. They clarify that consent goes beyond just a verbal 'no' or 'yes'. It involves active, mutual understanding and comfort between parties, supported by both verbal affirmations and non-verbal cues. This episode is crucial in highlighting how recognizing and respecting body language plays a significant role in consent.

The discussion touches on various scenarios where consent can be misinterpreted or ignored, such as assuming past consents imply future ones, or when substances like alcohol cloud judgment. Jack and Hannah emphasize the importance of awareness, encouraging viewers to look out for and act upon any red flags that indicate non-consent, thus nurturing a safer and more respectful relationship environment.

Jack and Hannah debunk the myth that consent discussions are complicated and scary. They promote the idea that engaging in these conversations can lead to greater self-awareness, catapulting relationships into more authentic and enjoyable experiences. Through witty exchanges, they encourage making consent communication a natural, sexy part of relationships that strengthens bonds while ensuring everyone is comfortable and enthusiastically consenting.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction to consent The chapter introduces the topic of consent in the context of sex and relationships, highlighting the difficulties that can arise during puberty. The speakers, Hannah and Jack Howard, emphasize the importance of discussing consent openly and address the idea that failing to talk about it is a mistake.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Understanding consent The chapter titled 'Understanding Consent' discusses the complexity and rarity of talking about consent in sexual experiences. It highlights that consent involves both parties being comfortable and willing participants, both verbally expressing and showing through their actions that they want to be involved. It emphasizes that consent is not just the absence of a 'no,' but also involves reading the body language and ensuring both parties wish to continue the interaction.
• 01:00 - 01:30: Body language and consent The chapter emphasizes the importance of understanding body language in the context of consent. It highlights that if someone seems unsure about engaging in an activity, it is the other person's responsibility to recognize these signs. The discussion acknowledges that while the legal age of consent is 16, young individuals may face various situations and relationships before reaching that age, making it crucial to be aware of non-verbal cues.
• 01:30 - 02:00: Age of consent and relationship dynamics The chapter discusses the importance of understanding body language and communication in relationships, emphasizing that consent is specific and situational. It clarifies that agreeing to one act, such as kissing, does not imply consent to further activities. The natural progression of intimacy is acknowledged, but it is stressed that both parties must be comfortable and of the legal age of consent. In relationships, even if sexual activity has occurred before, continuous consent is necessary.
• 02:00 - 02:30: Consent and previous encounters The chapter discusses the critical importance of consent in interpersonal encounters, emphasizing that just because someone consented to something previously does not mean perpetual consent for future interactions. It highlights that circumstances and feelings can change, and previous acceptance doesn't grant automatic future permission. The chapter underscores scenarios where consent might not be possible, such as when someone is unconscious, asleep, or intoxicated, noting that intoxication, in particular, is often misrepresented or misunderstood in cultural contexts, like movies. The chapter aims to clarify misunderstandings about consent and stresses its importance in all interactions.
• 02:30 - 03:00: Incapacitation and consent This chapter focuses on the concepts of incapacitation and consent, explaining how being under the influence of alcohol can impair decision-making and the ability to give consent. It highlights the responsibility of third parties to intervene if someone appears to be in a risky situation or is unable to give informed consent due to intoxication. The chapter also emphasizes that consent can be withdrawn at any time, regardless of prior consent given.
• 03:00 - 03:30: Withdrawing consent This chapter discusses the importance of communication and consent in relationships. It emphasizes that even if you initially agreed to something, you have the right to withdraw consent at any time if you feel uncomfortable. It highlights the mutual responsibility of both partners to maintain open communication, with a focus on recognizing body language changes and voicing concerns when something feels wrong.
• 03:30 - 04:00: Communicating consent The chapter focuses on the importance of effectively communicating consent in interpersonal interactions. It stresses the need for understanding and respecting when someone is not comfortable proceeding, even if they initially agreed. The discussion highlights the importance of being caring and empathetic, reminding individuals not to become upset when consent is withdrawn. To ensure clear communication of consent, the chapter suggests maintaining an open dialogue and frequently asking for permission, ensuring all parties involved feel respected and heard.
• 04:00 - 04:30: Empowerment through consent In this chapter titled 'Empowerment through consent,' the importance of consent and communication in sexual relationships is emphasized. It highlights the need for asking questions such as 'Can I do this?' or 'Does this feel good?' to ensure mutual consent and comfort. The chapter also dispels the notion that communication has to be rigid, suggesting that it can be playful and enjoyable. It stresses that regardless of gender, sexuality, appearance, or clothing, no one has the right to touch another person without permission.
• 04:30 - 05:00: Conclusion The chapter emphasizes the importance and simplicity of consent in relationships. It starts by addressing common misconceptions about consent being a daunting and complex issue. However, the narrator reassures that consent is not as complicated as it seems and should not be feared. Exploring consent through conversations with a partner can also be a way to understand oneself better. The focus is on mutual understanding and respect, encouraging open discussions with partners about boundaries and preferences.

Consent explained Ft. Jack Howard | Voice Box | Childline Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 hi I'm Hannah hello I'm Jack Howard and today we're talking about consent am I I don't know so sex and relationships regardless of your gender sexual orientation can be really difficult especially when you're going through puberty and that's when consent can kind of come into play yeah let's talk about it why not we should talk about it like whoever isn't talking about it is doing it wrong and that's
• 00:30 - 01:00 sort of a big part of it I think it can be a really tricky topic to talk about um and quite uh rare topics to talk about a lot of people avoid it why don't you tell me what consent is for me um it's basically both parties being comfortable in a sexual experience uh it's both people wanting to be there making it clear that they want to be there both verbally and through their actions consent isn't just somebody saying no it's their body the
• 01:00 - 01:30 way that they're you know if they if they seem to be a bit not sure if they want to do it I I feel like it's always the other person's responsibility to pick up on those signs um and if you're not that's that's a problem of course as a young person um the age of consent officially is 16 but um you are likely to encounter all kinds of different situations and relationships earlier than that and it's really important to understand exactly what he was saying that has to be um you have to be paying
• 01:30 - 02:00 attention to body language what people are saying and everything that goes with that completely yeah so for example if you agree to kiss someone that doesn't mean that they can then do anything else go further it's not like a Gateway into everything it's not nothing like that um obviously one thing can lead to another quite naturally and if both people are comfortable with that that's that can be okay especially if you're you know of the age of consent also as well I feel like if you're in a relationship with somebody then and you've had sex with
• 02:00 - 02:30 them before that doesn't necessarily mean you get to do it every time you want to you know C you know certain moods and certain people you they might not like you anymore or anything there's so many scenarios that it could be um but yeah I think that's important to point out as well just because you've been able to do it once doesn't mean that you're allowed to do it forever so of course there are there are reasons why somebody might not be able to give consent they might be unconscious asleep um they might be drunk yeah drunk's a big one is it seems seems to be a big part of the culture is that like and it seems weird to me now that in movies
• 02:30 - 03:00 when people say like oh I was drunk and I did this it's like that's not a good message at all it's it's sort of become weirder to me the more aware I've become of all of this and the more educated I've become on the topic if you're in that situation um and you are around somebody who you know looks like they might be getting themselves into trouble or if somebody might be getting them into trouble then it's I think again it's your your responsibility as a third party to step in and do something about it it's also true that you can withdraw consent at any time time you might have
• 03:00 - 03:30 said yes but you might have changed your mind you might not be comfortable anymore um and it's really important to kind of keep that constant communication between you and your partner completely yeah yeah if if if you're doing something and you go oh I've already said yes to this that's always awkward but it's not worth like not saying something about it and I know I know it's um it's also the other person's responsibility to notice the change in body language and things like that but also if you're doing something you don't like please do say that as well like but
• 03:30 - 04:00 actually I'm not ready for this yet or I don't want this and if somebody says that to you don't get in a bloody mood about it don't be like oh well you said yes don't do that be understanding and caring about that person be a good person it's not hard is it how can we make sure that we communicate really well and make sure that we understand consent from another person I think it's it's important to keep talking throughout what you're doing um and asking you can I can I put my hand there
• 04:00 - 04:30 can you do does this is it okay if I do this does this feel good um those are the sort of questions you should ask and also communication during sex is a sexy thing like you don't have to be like very sort of like stiff up a lip about it and be like do you like that good I'll carry on um you it's a very kind of you can turn it into playful talk as well and regardless of your gender or your sexuality what you look like what you're wearing it doesn't ever give someone permission to touch you to you
• 04:30 - 05:00 or do sexual things with you as like we've said you always have to give your consent so we've talked a lot about consent it can sound really scary but it doesn't have to be this big kind of scary thing it's not complicated I think that's the thing is that everyone sort of I mean at least you know before you get involved in the discussion you sort of might think it's a big scary complicated thing but it's really not and I think as well it it's a way of getting to know yourself better like if you if if but if you and and a partner talk talk about consent um and and
• 05:00 - 05:30 whether or not you want to do certain things it gets you get to know yourself better so in way it's sort of empowering like and you'll get to know what you like and dislike and therefore sex will be better and also you know you'll be safe and stuff and that's always good there's nothing sexier than two people being in that moment together and understanding that you both comfortably want to be there um so yes it is it's empowering both individually and as a as a pair or a trio or whatever you're into like in the bedroom it's up to you like
• 05:30 - 06:00 I say not about no but about a really enthusiastic yes thank you Jack for coming in and talking to us today about consent not a problem Hannah it's been a pleasure see you next time bye