DO IT WITHOUT ASKING HER | BY Stoicism

Summary

This transcript from Stoicism urges individuals to act without seeking approval from others. The focus is on mastering one's will and understanding that true freedom comes from making decisions independently. It emphasizes that fear and doubt are natural but should not hinder action. The message is a call to embrace one's power, act decisively, and avoid the regret of inaction.

Highlights

• Stop waiting for approval and take action! 🚀
• Your will is your true power, own it and act. 💪
• Fear is a test; push through it to grow stronger. 🧗‍♂️
• Action leads to progress; hesitation holds you back. 🕰️
• Control your emotions or they'll control you. 🌊

Key Takeaways

• Take control of your actions without seeking external approval. 💪
• Fear and doubt are natural but should not prevent action. 🚫
• Progress and personal growth come from making decisions independently. 🌱

Overview

In a world where seeking approval is often encouraged, the message here is simple: trust in your own will and make decisions without needing a nod from others. Too often, people hesitate, waiting for some form of validation before taking crucial steps. This hesitation represents a surrender of one's own power, when in reality, true freedom lies in acting upon one’s own conviction.

The speaker encourages embracing fear and doubt as natural companions on the path to progress. These emotions are not obstacles but rather invitations to act decisively and grow stronger in their presence. By conditioning oneself to take charge without needing permission, individuals unlock a kind of liberty and self-mastery that few experience.

Ultimately, the message is about the importance of embracing action and not letting the weight of others' expectations dictate one's choices. The regret of inaction is a silent burden that accumulates over time. Therefore, by understanding and owning the power within one’s own will, individuals can live more fulfilling, self-directed lives.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 05:00: Do It Without Seeking Approval The chapter titled 'Do It Without Seeking Approval' encourages the reader to act based on personal conviction rather than waiting for approval from others. It emphasizes that if an action is just and the goal is worthy, hesitation should not be a barrier. The chapter promotes the idea that an individual's will is their true possession, and therefore, should guide their actions irrespective of external opinions and circumstances.
• 05:00 - 10:00: The Illusion of Validation and Control The chapter titled 'The Illusion of Validation and Control' explores the theme of personal autonomy and the unnecessary quest for external validation. It discusses how many people fail to realize the inherent power they possess over their own choices and actions, mistakenly believing that they need permission or validation from others. The narrative suggests that true mastery of one's will entails understanding that external approval is not a prerequisite for taking action. It critiques the tendency to seek reassurance and hesitate, advocating instead for decisive action based on internal conviction.
• 10:00 - 15:00: Mastering the Will to Act The chapter delves into the concept of 'Mastering the Will to Act.' It explores the common human tendency to seek approval and reassurance from others before taking action, which often results in relinquishing one's power and strength to external forces. The narrative emphasizes the importance of self-reliance, highlighting that true power and freedom come from making decisions independently and taking responsibility for one's choices without hesitation. This understanding is described as a rare form of freedom that few achieve, as it requires the courage and the will to act decisively.
• 15:00 - 20:00: Emotions and the Illusion of Control This chapter explores the concept of emotions shaping our perceived control over our lives. It discusses the liberation that comes from releasing the need for external approval, emphasizing action based on intrinsic understanding rather than external validation. It acknowledges the challenge in overcoming societal conditioning which primes individuals to seek validation from others. The chapter argues for a self-guided path, where decisions are made from an inner sense of rightness rather than external assurances.
• 20:00 - 25:00: Discipline Above Comfort The chapter "Discipline Above Comfort" explores the concept that individuals often seek external validation for their decisions. However, this need for acceptance is an illusion as no one can provide absolute certainty or universal approval. The chapter suggests that waiting for universal approval will result in inaction and emphasizes the importance of cultivating the ability to make independent decisions and move forward despite differing opinions and judgments.
• 25:00 - 30:00: Avoiding Regret Through Bold Action The chapter titled 'Avoiding Regret Through Bold Action' discusses the importance of decisive action without hesitation, emphasizing that this doesn't imply recklessness or disregarding wise advice. It highlights the significance of recognizing when a decision is one's own to make and encourages taking responsibility for it with confidence. The chapter encourages developing a clear and focused mindset, undistracted by irrelevant opinions. It acknowledges the presence of fear and doubt as natural but insists that these should not serve as excuses for inaction.

DO IT WITHOUT ASKING HER | BY Stoicism Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 [Music] Today I tell you this, do it without asking her. Do not seek approval where none is needed. Do not wait for a nod when your own conviction should be enough. If the action is just. If the goal is worthy, then hesitation is your enemy. Your will is the only thing in this world that truly belongs to you. Everything else, your circumstances, the opinions of others, the outcomes of your
• 00:30 - 01:00 actions lies beyond your control. But your will, your choices, your ability to act with purpose that is yours alone. And yet so many surrender this power without realizing it. They wait, they hesitate, they ask for permission to do what is already within their grasp. Why? Because they have not yet mastered their own will. To master your will is to understand that you do not need approval to act. Too many waste time wondering what others will think, seeking reassurance before they make a move.
• 01:00 - 01:30 They ask themselves, "Is this the right time? Will she approve? Will they support me?" And in that moment of doubt, they hand over their strength to someone else. They allow external forces to dictate their choices. But a man who truly owns his will does not need to ask. He does not wait. He acts because he knows that his choices belong to him alone. There is a kind of freedom that comes with this understanding. A freedom that few ever experience. When you no
• 01:30 - 02:00 longer depend on another's approval, you become unshackled from doubt. You no longer hesitate when action is required. You see the path ahead and you walk it not because someone told you it was safe, not because you were given permission, but because you knew it was the right thing to do. But this is not easy. The mind is conditioned to seek validation, to crave affirmation. From a young age, we are taught to look to others for approval before we act. We
• 02:00 - 02:30 are trained to believe that our decisions must be accepted by those around us before they are legitimate. But this is an illusion. The truth is no one can ever fully validate your choices. No one can ever give you absolute certainty. The world is full of differing opinions, conflicting views, and endless judgments. If you wait for universal approval before you act, you will wait forever. Instead, you must cultivate the ability to move forward
• 02:30 - 03:00 without hesitation. This does not mean acting recklessly. It does not mean ignoring wisdom or dismissing counsel. It means knowing when a decision is yours to make and having the strength to make it without seeking permission. It means developing a mind that is clear, focused, and undistracted by the noise of unnecessary opinions. There will be times when fear grips you, when doubt creeps in. This is natural, but fear is not an excuse for inaction. If anything,
• 03:00 - 03:30 it is a signal that you must push forward. Fear exists to test your will, to see if you are truly in control of yourself. A weak man sees fear and stops. A strong man sees fear and moves forward anyway. The difference is simple. One has mastered his will and the other has not. Understand this. Your will is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Every time you make a decision without waiting for
• 03:30 - 04:00 approval, you reinforce your own power. Every time you act despite doubt, you remind yourself that you are in control. And over time, hesitation fades. You no longer need to ask yourself, should I? You simply do. Think of the great men throughout history. Those who shaped the world not by waiting but by acting. Did they ask for permission? Did they wait for someone to tell them it was acceptable to take the first step? No.
• 04:00 - 04:30 They saw what needed to be done and they did it. They understood that action, not hesitation, is what creates progress. And so must you. You do not need permission to be decisive. You do not need approval to take control of your own life. What you need is the courage to trust yourself, the discipline to follow through, and the wisdom to know that your will is the only permission you ever truly need. So master your will. Stop seeking validation where it is not needed. Do what must be done, not
• 04:30 - 05:00 because someone told you to, but because it is your choice to make. When you can act without hesitation, without waiting, without asking, you will know that you have truly mastered yourself. And that is the foundation of all strength. Expectation is a chain, a silent force that keeps men bound to the will of others. To seek approval before acting is to place your freedom in someone else's hands. It is to surrender control of your choices to forces outside of
• 05:00 - 05:30 yourself. Forces that are fickle, unpredictable, and often indifferent to your purpose. If you live by the expectation of others, you will never truly live for yourself. The desire for approval is subtle. It disguises itself as wisdom, patience, or caution. You tell yourself that it is reasonable to wait to ensure that what you do is acceptable in the eyes of another. You convince yourself that you must be certain of support before you move. But this is an illusion, a comforting lie
• 05:30 - 06:00 that keeps you from action. The truth is, the longer you wait for approval, the less likely you are to act at all. Expectation feeds hesitation. It nurtures doubt and doubt is the enemy of progress. Think of how much time is wasted in waiting. Waiting for the right words, the right reaction, the perfect moment when everything aligns. But life does not offer perfection. It offers movement, change, and uncertainty. The man who waits for approval will find
• 06:00 - 06:30 himself always behind, always reacting rather than leading. Meanwhile, the man who has freed himself from expectation moves forward while others hesitate. He acts not because someone allowed him to, but because he understands that permission is an illusion. Detach from expectation and you will find strength. Detach from expectation and you will move with a freedom that others can only envy. This does not mean you act blindly or recklessly. It means you understand
• 06:30 - 07:00 that your actions are yours alone. You are not responsible for how they are received only for ensuring that they are right. Consider this. If you build something of value, some will admire it, others will criticize it, and many will simply ignore it. The reactions of others are beyond your control. But does that make the work any less meaningful? Does it diminish its worth? Of course not. The work remains. The action stands on its own. So why should you allow
• 07:00 - 07:30 expectation to determine whether you act in the first place? There is a great relief in realizing that you owe no one an explanation for what you know is necessary. You do not need permission to build, to create, to improve, to become more than you were yesterday. You do not need validation to take steps toward your own growth. The more you seek approval, the more you depend on it. The more you depend on it, the weaker your resolve becomes. This is not to say that you
• 07:30 - 08:00 must reject all counsel. Wisdom can be found in the words of those who have walked the path before you. But there is a difference between learning from experience and needing permission to act. The former strengthens you. the latter enslaves you. You must recognize the line between the two. And when the moment comes to act, you must act without hesitation, without looking around for a nod of approval. There will be those who disapprove of your actions no matter what you do. This is
• 08:00 - 08:30 inevitable. It does not mean you are wrong. It only means that you have chosen to move forward while others remain still. And those who remain still often resent those who refuse to be bound by the same invisible chains that hold them back. If you base your choices on the reaction of others, you will never have peace. You will constantly shift, constantly seek, constantly wonder if you are doing enough to please the world. But the world does not care. It moves forward with or without you.
• 08:30 - 09:00 And those who spend their lives chasing approval find themselves exhausted, directionless, and empty. The only approval you truly need is your own. If your action is right, if it aligns with reason and principle, then it is already justified. If you know in your heart that it must be done, then do it. If you waste time wondering how it will be received, you are allowing others to decide your fate for you. And no man who allows others to control his decisions
• 09:00 - 09:30 can ever claim to be free. So do not wait for permission. Do not hesitate because you fear judgment. Do what must be done and let expectation crumble beneath the weight of action. In the end, only those who act without seeking approval truly shape the world. There is a simple truth that many refuse to accept. Control is an illusion. No man commands the opinions of others, nor can
• 09:30 - 10:00 he dictate the course of every event. Yet people exhaust themselves trying to manage what is beyond their reach, obsessing over outcomes that do not belong to them. They seek to control how they are perceived, how their actions are received, how others respond to their decision. And in doing so, they surrender control over the one thing that is truly theirs, themselves. A man who understands this truth moves differently. He does not waste energy on the uncontrollable. He
• 10:00 - 10:30 does not concern himself with how others react to his choices. Nor does he demand fairness from a world that owes him nothing. Instead, he focuses only on what is within his power, his discipline, his effort, his ability to act with wisdom and purpose. Everything beyond that is left to fate, to time, to forces greater than himself. The weak man, however, is enslaved by the illusion of control. He is consumed by
• 10:30 - 11:00 the need to be liked, to be understood, to be reassured that his actions will lead to a predictable outcome. He hesitates because he wants guarantees. He asks for approval because he fears the unknown. But the world does not operate on his terms and so he remains stuck, trapped in an endless cycle of overthinking, waiting, and disappointment. To be free, one must learn to let go. You cannot control the thoughts of others, but you can control
• 11:00 - 11:30 whether or not their opinions dictate your actions. You cannot control whether you will succeed in every endeavor, but you can control the effort you put in. You cannot control whether life is fair, but you can control your response when it is not. A wise man understands this, and because he does, he does not waste time on what does not belong to him. Consider a man standing before a storm. He does not shout at the wind to stop blowing, nor does he demand the rain to
• 11:30 - 12:00 fall in a way that suits him. He does not curse the clouds for blocking the sun. Instead, he prepares himself. He strengthens his home. He guards his fire. He endures the storm knowing that he cannot change the sky, but he can change how he stands beneath it. This is how one must approach life. There will always be forces outside your control. Other people's choices, circumstances that shift without warning, events that unfold in ways you never expected. But
• 12:00 - 12:30 you decide how you meet them. You decide whether you stand firm or crumble. You decide whether you act or hesitate. That is where your power lies. That is the only control you will ever truly have. It is not enough to understand this truth. You must live by it. When doubt creeps in, when fear whispers that you should wait, when expectation tempts you to seek approval, remind yourself, is this within my control? If the answer is
• 12:30 - 13:00 no, then let it go. If the answer is yes, then act without hesitation. Think of the countless hours wasted on things that cannot be changed. How often have you replayed conversations in your mind, wondering what you could have said differently? How often have you worried about how someone perceives you when their thoughts are beyond your reach? How often have you delayed action because you were waiting for conditions to be perfect when perfection never comes. All of this is a distraction. All
• 13:00 - 13:30 of this keeps you from doing what must be done. The world belongs to those who focus on what they can control and ignore what they cannot. These are the men who act while others wait. These are the men who build while others doubt. These are the men who understand that their responsibility is not to control every outcome, but to do their part with unwavering discipline and let the rest unfold as it will. A man who wastes time on the uncontrollable is like a sailor trying to command the sea. He yells at
• 13:30 - 14:00 the waves, pleads with the wind, curses the current, but he goes nowhere. The wise sailor, however, adjusts his sails. He moves with the wind, not against it. He focuses not on what he wishes he could change but on what he can do in the moment. And because of this he reaches his destination while the other remains lost. You must be like the wise sailor. Accept what is outside your reach and take full command of what is
• 14:00 - 14:30 within it. Do not let fear of failure stop you from trying. Do not let the opinions of others prevent you from acting. Do not waste energy wishing for circumstances to be different. Look at what is in front of you. Control what you can and move forward without hesitation. Emotions are fleeting, unpredictable, and often misleading. They rise and fall like the tides, pulling a man in different directions, tempting him to act in ways that serve
• 14:30 - 15:00 no purpose beyond temporary relief. Fear, doubt, hesitation, these are not true obstacles, but illusions. They appear strong in the moment, yet they have no real power. unless you submit to them. A man ruled by emotion is like a ship without a rudder, drifting wherever the wind takes him. But a man who commands his emotions is unshakable, steady, and deliberate in all that he does. Most people allow their emotions to dictate their actions. They let fear
• 15:00 - 15:30 prevent them from taking necessary steps. They let doubt convince them that they are not ready. They let discomfort stop them from pushing forward. But emotions should not be masters. They should be tools. A man who understands this does not ignore his feelings, nor does he deny them. He acknowledges them, examines them, and then decides whether they serve him or hinder him. If an emotion weakens his resolve, he discards it. If it sharpens his focus, he uses
• 15:30 - 16:00 it. The problem is that emotions often disguise themselves as reason. A man hesitates and he calls it caution. He avoids discomfort and he calls it patience. He refuses to act and he calls it wisdom. But deep down he knows the truth. He is being ruled by fear. He waits because he does not want to feel the sting of failure. He hesitates because he does not want to face discomfort. He seeks validation because he is afraid of moving forward alone.
• 16:00 - 16:30 But the only way to overcome fear is to confront it. The only way to silence doubt is to act despite it. There is a misconception that confidence comes first and action follows. This is false. Action comes. A man does not become fearless by waiting for his emotions to change. He becomes fearless by acting despite fear by moving forward even when every part of him wants to retreat. And with each step he takes fear loses its
• 16:30 - 17:00 grip. Hesitation fades. doubt becomes irrelevant. He realizes that his emotions were never barriers at all, only illusions waiting to be shattered. This is how strength is built. Not through waiting, not through wishing, but through repeated action in the face of resistance. The mind is a battlefield and every day you make a choice to be ruled by emotion or to rule over it. The weak man listens to his fears, obeys his
• 17:00 - 17:30 doubts, and lets discomfort guide his decisions. The strong man listens, understands, and then moves forward regardless. But this requires discipline. It is not enough to resist emotion once. You must do it constantly. You must train your mind as you train your body through repetition, through endurance, through discomfort. If you let emotion control you even once, it will try to control you again. If you allow fear to dictate one decision, it
• 17:30 - 18:00 will dictate the next. But if you resist, if you push through, if you prove to yourself that emotions do not define you, then you gain control. A man who has mastered his emotions is unbreakable. He does not flinch in the face of adversity. He does not hesitate when the path is difficult. He does not seek approval or validation because he knows that his choices are his own. He moves with purpose, acts with clarity, and does what must be done regardless of
• 18:00 - 18:30 how he feels in the moment. And that is the ultimate strength. Not the absence of emotion, but the ability to rise above it, to feel fear and move anyway, to feel doubt and act anyway, to feel discomfort and push forward anyway. This is the mark of a man who commands himself and the man who commands himself commands everything. The pursuit of comfort is the greatest enemy of discipline. A man who prioritizes ease
• 18:30 - 19:00 over duty will find himself weak, unprepared, and incapable of facing real challenges. Yet, this is the path most choose. They avoid discomfort, delay difficult decisions, and convince themselves that waiting is the better option. They tell themselves that the time is not right, that they need approval, that they should be certain before taking action. But certainty is an illusion, and waiting is a silent form of surrender. Duty does not ask for
• 19:00 - 19:30 permission. It does not wait for a convenient time. It stands before you indifferent to your feelings, demanding action. The weak man avoids it. He tells himself that he will act when he feels ready. But readiness never comes. There is always another excuse, another reason to wait. And while he hesitates, life moves forward without him. The strong man understands that action is not a matter of convenience. It is a matter of necessity. He does what must be done,
• 19:30 - 20:00 not because he feels like it, but because it is required. He does not seek comfort because he knows that comfort is fleeting and strength is built in discomfort. Every moment of hesitation, every second spent waiting for approval is a moment lost. A moment where he could have taken control, where he could have forged himself into something greater. Look around and you will see men who have wasted years waiting. They wait for motivation. They wait for someone to tell them they are good
• 20:00 - 20:30 enough. They wait for life to give them a clear sign that it is time to act. But life does not reward those who wait. It rewards those who move forward without asking, those who take responsibility for their own progress. Discipline is simple. It is the act of doing what is necessary regardless of how you feel. But most people complicate it. They think too much, analyze too much, worry too much about how their actions will be
• 20:30 - 21:00 received. They spend more time debating their choices than actually making them. And in the end, they achieve nothing. It is not about having the perfect plan. It is not about knowing every step before you begin. It is about taking the first step even when doubt lingers. It is about moving forward even when fear whispers in your ear. If you wait until the path is clear, you will never move at all. The way forward is revealed through
• 21:00 - 21:30 action, not hesitation. Greatness is built on this principle. Every strong man you admire, every leader who has shaped history, every individual who has achieved something of value, they all have one thing in common. They acted while others hesitated. They did not wait for permission. They did not seek approval. They did not ask if their choices were acceptable. They did what needed to be done. And that is what separates the strong from the weak. The
• 21:30 - 22:00 weak seek comfort first and duty second, if at all. The strong place duty above all else, knowing that true fulfillment comes not from ease, but from mastery over oneself. It does not matter if others understand your actions. It does not matter if they approve. It does not matter if they think you are moving too fast or if they question your choices. What matters is that you are moving, that you are taking control of your own life, that you are not waiting for
• 22:00 - 22:30 someone to hand you an opportunity, but forging it yourself. A man who waits for permission will always be a step behind. He will watch as others take the opportunities he hesitated to claim. He will look back and realize that his greatest enemy was not the world, not the people around him, not the circumstances he faced, but himself. His own hesitation, his own fear, his own addiction to comfort kept him from becoming what he could have been. You
• 22:30 - 23:00 have a choice. You can be like the masses, waiting for the perfect moment that will never come, or you can act now. You can take control of your actions, accept discomfort, and embrace the discipline that leads to strength. The world belongs to those who do, not those who wait. So do not wait, do not ask, do not hesitate. Do what must be done and let action shape your path. Regret is a weight that grows heavier with time. It does not strike all at
• 23:00 - 23:30 once, but settles in slowly, creeping into the mind of the man who hesitated, who waited, who let fear and doubt dictate his choices. He tells himself that he had good reasons, that he was being cautious, that he needed more time. But time does not wait. It moves forward without concern for those who refuse to act. And when a man looks back, he does not regret the risks he took. He regrets the chances he let slip away. A man who acts may fail. He may
• 23:30 - 24:00 stumble. He may face resistance, criticism, and even loss. But a man who does nothing guarantees failure. He robs himself of the opportunity to grow, to learn, to shape his own future. And as the years pass, he realizes the truth that his greatest enemy was not the obstacles in his way, not the opinions of others, but his own hesitation. The moments where he could have stepped forward but chose to hold back. The chances he ignored, waiting for approval
• 24:00 - 24:30 that was never needed. There is a lie that many tell themselves to escape this truth. They say it wasn't the right time. They say, "I wasn't ready." They convince themselves that waiting was the right decision, that hesitation was wisdom. But deep down they know. They know that time was not the problem. Readiness was not the issue. The real issue was fear. Fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Fear of stepping into the
• 24:30 - 25:00 unknown. But the unknown does not care for fear. It rewards those who dare to move toward it and punishes those who avoid it. Think of the man who watches others achieve what he once dreamed of. He sees someone else take the risk he was too afraid to take. Someone else step forward while he held back. And in that moment, he feels it, the sharp, bitter sting of regret. He tells himself that he could have done it, too. He tells himself that he was just as
• 25:00 - 25:30 capable. And yet, he did not act. And now the moment is gone. And all he has left is the knowledge that it was his own inaction that sealed his fate. This is the true cost of hesitation. It is not simply lost time or missed opportunities. It is the slow erosion of confidence, the quiet realization that life does not wait for those who refuse to take control. The man who hesitates today will hesitate tomorrow. And before he knows it, he has spent his entire
• 25:30 - 26:00 life waiting for a moment that never arrives. But this fate is not inevitable. Regret is not a punishment. It is a lesson. It exists to teach, to remind, to push a man toward action before it is too late. The difference between the man who is consumed by regret and the man who learns from it is simple. One continues to wait and the other decides that he will never hesitate again. He understands that every moment of doubt is a test, a
• 26:00 - 26:30 chance to prove that he will no longer be ruled by fear. There is power in realizing that hesitation is a choice. Just as a man can choose to wait, he can choose to act. He can choose to stop seeking permission. Stop delaying what must be done. Stop making excuses that shield him from discomfort. He can choose to live in a way that leaves no room for regret. And this does not mean reckless action. It does not mean moving blindly without thought. It means
• 26:30 - 27:00 understanding that the only true mistake is refusing to act when action is required. It means making decisions with clarity, with purpose, and with the resolve to stand by them regardless of how they are received. A man who refuses to hesitate becomes unstoppable. He does not look back in regret because he knows he has given everything to his choices. He does not waste time questioning what could have been because he has already taken control of what is. He does not
• 27:00 - 27:30 wait for approval because he understands that no approval matters more than his own. In the end, the question is simple. When you look back on your life, will you be the man who acted or the man who waited? Will you be the man who took risks, faced challenges, and moved forward regardless of fear? Or will you be the man who hesitated, who let opportunities slip away, who allowed doubt to dictate his path? The choice is yours. But know this, regret does not
• 27:30 - 28:00 care for your excuses. It does not care for your justifications, your reasons, or your explanations. It only asks one thing. Why didn't you act? And when that question comes, you must be able to answer it without shame. So act now. Move forward without asking, without waiting, without seeking permission. Make your choices boldly. Live with conviction. And let regret be something that belongs to other men, not to