First Coaching Session Example (by Master Certified Coach)

Summary

In this coaching session by Master Certified Coach Jennifer Starr, Brighton West explores his challenges around time management, productivity, and finding joy. As a first-time coaching client, Brighton seeks real coaching to navigate his experiences of procrastination and guilt over not utilizing time effectively. Starr guides him through discussions on work-life balance, the role of joy and play in his life, and how he can be more intentional about carving out time for personal joy. The session concludes with Brighton committing to a micro habit of reflecting on joyful moments each day tied to his nighttime routine.

Highlights

• Jennifer Starr, a Master Certified Coach, starts her session with first-time coaching client, Brighton West. 🌟
• Brighton discusses his struggles with time management, procrastination, and the guilt of not using time effectively. ⏰
• The session explores the difference between consultant relationships and coaching, aiming for 'real coaching.' 🤝
• Brighton opens up about the guilt and inefficiencies tied to his time-spending habits, highlighting productivity challenges. 😓
• Starr navigates the conversation towards understanding the importance of joy and regular play in finding work-life balance. 🎈
• Brighton realizes he needs to intentionally make time for joy, integrating it into his schedule purposefully. 📅
• As a new micro habit, he'll reflect on daily joyful moments, tying it to his bedtime routine for consistency. 🛏

Key Takeaways

• Coaching can help individuals uncover underlying issues and motivations, offering new perspectives. 🤔
• Finding joy and integrating play into daily life can improve overall satisfaction and productivity. 🎉
• Creating intentional time for joy can harmonize work-life dynamics, promoting a more fulfilling lifestyle. ⏰
• Reflecting on joyful moments daily can enhance awareness and appreciation of one's life. 🌟

Overview

In this insightful coaching session, Jennifer Starr, a Master Certified Coach, works with Brighton West, a first-time coaching client. Brighton, has never been coached before and is searching for strategies to better manage his time and productivity, as well as uncover joy in everyday life. Through thoughtful questioning and exploration, Starr helps Brighton see the distinction between past consulting experiences and what true coaching can offer him.

Brighton shares the emotional turmoil he associates with unproductive time spent, revealing his battle with guilt and shame about ineffective time use. The session digs deep into identifying underlying issues shaping these feelings, including past influences and current lifestyle gaps. Starr adeptly leads the conversation into uncovering the significance of joy and play as pivotal elements lacking in Brighton's current routine.

Realizing the need for intentional joy in his life, Brighton discovers strategies for creating more harmonious work-life dynamics. By committing to reflect on daily joyful experiences each night, linked to his existing routine, he sets a realistic and attainable goal for personal development. This new approach aims to shift his productivity perspective and enhance life satisfaction through intentional and mindful daily practices.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 02:30: Introduction and Session Setup The chapter introduces the concept of habit chaining by associating new habits with existing routines, exemplified by the idea of incorporating a new behavior after brushing teeth. The chapter features Jennifer Starr, a Master Certified coach, conducting a coaching session with a client named Brighton West. Brighton allowed the sharing of his session experience, marking his first time as a coaching client. The chapter concludes with an offer to the audience, presenting two video options: one specifically tailored for coaches.
• 02:30 - 05:30: Initial Conversation with Brighton The chapter titled 'Initial Conversation with Brighton' begins with an introduction to a coaching session. The session is aimed at offering feedback on coaching, either by a mentor coach or by a colleague who will analyze the session for those unfamiliar with coaching. The chapter opens with a session involving Brighton, indicating the start of a practical coaching discussion.
• 05:30 - 09:00: Exploring Productivity Issues The conversation begins with a warm exchange of greetings between two individuals, one of whom is named Jennifer. They discuss their current locations, with Jennifer being in Portland, Oregon, and the presence of sun there. The other person shares their recent travel experiences, having spent five months in Mexico at their home, and mentions returning to Oregon. The dialogue captures a brief exchange about recent movements and locations, providing a backdrop for the chapter which seems to explore productivity issues perhaps in relation to geographical movement and lifestyle changes.
• 09:00 - 15:00: Discussing Joy and Playfulness In this chapter titled 'Discussing Joy and Playfulness', the conversation starts with a participant sharing about their recent return from Mexico. They express a thought about another person during their trip. The speaker then touches upon their history with coaching, noting that despite working with many people, they have not been formally coached before. They've hired coaches, who turned out to be consultants instead, and found their consultancy to be highly beneficial.
• 15:00 - 20:00: Defining Joy and Its Importance The chapter titled 'Defining Joy and Its Importance' begins with a dialogue between individuals discussing the aspect of coaching. They mention past experiences with people who either were not coaches or were not actively coaching despite being in a coaching role. The speaker emphasizes their desire for genuine coaching. This chapter sets the stage for a coaching session, as the speaker mentions that they will experience some real coaching during the session. They highlight the limited time frame available for this session, about 25 to 30 minutes, and acknowledge that they haven’t worked together in this capacity before. The chapter ends by the speaker inviting the participant to share important aspects about themselves that could be relevant to the coaching process.
• 20:00 - 25:00: Identifying Play and its Role in Productivity In this chapter titled 'Identifying Play and its Role in Productivity,' the discussion revolves around the nature of working relationships and how comfort levels affect collaboration, especially between individuals who have not worked together in certain roles before. The conversation highlights the fluid transition between professional roles—such as coaching versus instructing—and focuses on the openness required for productive teamwork. The speakers acknowledge the importance of not holding back in communication to foster a comfortable and explorative work environment.
• 25:00 - 30:00: Addressing Guilty Feelings and Work-Life Balance The chapter begins by highlighting the distinctions between a consultant and a coach, suggesting awareness of the different roles each plays in problem-solving or personal development processes. The narrator expresses a readiness to begin and openly admits feeling nervous about the forthcoming discussion.
• 30:00 - 37:30: Finding Solutions and Setting Intentions This chapter focuses on calming the mind and setting intentions. It begins with a deep breathing exercise to diffuse tension. The narrator invites reflection and exploration of thoughts and topics of interest. There is also mention of the difficulty in preparation for discussing or exploring these topics.
• 37:30 - 46:00: Commitment to Joy Journal The chapter titled 'Commitment to Joy Journal' opens with a reflective discussion on the fleeting nature of time. The speaker questions where all the hours and minutes go, expressing a common sentiment about reaching the end of the day with many tasks remaining undone. This feeling is mutual between the speaker and their partner, as they both struggle to understand how people with children manage their time when even they, without kids, find themselves short on time. It introduces the theme of time management and personal reflection, setting the tone for a deeper exploration of finding joy and fulfillment in daily life.
• 46:00 - 53:00: Conclusion of Coaching Session The final chapter discusses the challenges of managing time effectively and the dilemma of balancing personal life with aspirations, such as the desire to have a child. It delves into understanding productivity, procrastination, and introspection on how additional time in one's day could be optimally utilized. The chapter encourages readers to reflect on their current time management and consider adjustments for improved work-life balance.
• 53:00 - 57:00: Post-Session Reflection and Video Options The chapter delves into the speaker's reflection on their work-life balance, expressing a reluctance to increase their workload despite enjoying their work. The speaker questions the appropriateness of their initial proposal, considering whether the issue is not the need for more work, suggesting contemplation around current work structures or personal intentions.

First Coaching Session Example (by Master Certified Coach) Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 I think maybe tying into brushing my teeth at night might be the easiest thing to tie it to so that was the end note of my coaching session with Brighton West my name is Jennifer Starr and I'm a Master Certified coach and this was Brighton's first time as being a client and he offered permission to share this at the end of the video there'll be two options for you one option is for coaches uh and that will be a video of uh
• 00:30 - 01:00 recording by a mentor coach who's offering feedback on on the coaching and the second option is for one of my colleagues that will be breaking down the coaching session for those of you that may have maybe haven't been coached before or want to hear more about what's actually going on in the coaching session so for now let's dive into the session with Brighton so Brighton it's good to see you again
• 01:00 - 01:30 it is so good to see you too Jennifer where are you these days so currently I am in Portland Oregon so it's a little well actually there is some sun behind me which is surprising yeah so and you've been um you've been traveling yes yeah I spent the last five months down in Mexico at our home down there and yeah yeah so it's a little bit yeah I'm back here in Oregon a little
• 01:30 - 02:00 early I think yeah I just got back from Mexico too and I thought of you and and uh anyway well here we are and you told me you haven't been coached before with all the people you work with yes I have never been coached before and I only know that because I've been with enough coaches to know what coaching is I have hired coaches before um but gotten Consultants which have been wonderful Consultants but they
• 02:00 - 02:30 weren't coaches or they might have been coaches but they weren't coaching okay so so I'm looking for some real coaching coaching well you'll get to have a little bit of that today because that's what I do perfect we have about 25 30 minutes or so together right and you and I have never really worked in this capacity before correct what's important for me to know about you that makes things uh
• 02:30 - 03:00 comfortable and easy to sort of explore together with someone you haven't worked with before I don't know I feel like we've worked we've we've worked we've worked together just not in a coachee coaching really our coaching I know you're usually telling me what to do yes exactly so um yeah I am a pretty comfortable guy so I feel like you know be you don't have to hold any punches or anything like that so we'll just yeah
• 03:00 - 03:30 and I I I heard that you know at least what the distinction is between a consultant and a coach yes yes all right anything else you need to be here now and ready to dive in um I'm just going to Proclaim my nervousness um but yeah I right on let's make it happen um
• 03:30 - 04:00 so do you mind taking a deep breath with me and maybe we'll just defuse some of that how about it sounds good huh so in this little bit of time we have together you know what what is it that that's on your mind or something that you'd like to explore and and I think this was the the hardest part for me with preparing was like what
• 04:00 - 04:30 am I supposed to talk about um and I I think what I came up with was um let's find all those hours and minutes of the day that I keep losing because I seem to get to the end of the day and I'm like my wife and I have a similar problem and we we say like how is it possible that people have children when we have no children and still we're
• 04:30 - 05:00 you know we don't have any extra time like how would someone fit a child into a life if this is our life so I'm trying to figure out where those minutes go um and I think this is also kind of related to productivity um procrastination and stuff like that if you actually did have more time in your day how would you be using it
• 05:00 - 05:30 oh interesting question um I'd hate to say that I'd be working more but I do enjoy my work um I'm wondering if my question or my proposal here isn't quite right it's maybe it's not that I need more
• 05:30 - 06:00 minutes that I need to spend that I need to feel better about the way I'm spending yeah so yeah so something about the way things are right now isn't sitting quite right with you in this moment in time right you put a finger on what that experience is how you're feeling it um I think it's it's partly just
• 06:00 - 06:30 finding myself and actually you you got to witness a little bit of this I think it was yesterday when I sent the email and it was I think two hours had passed between the point where I started writing the email when I stopped and you know I was at a coffee shop and I just done you know all these different things and kept intending to do one thing but I was like oh you know I need to do X Y or Z and so a lot of just shifting gears and being maybe inefficient with time
• 06:30 - 07:00 um distracted and not necessarily doing the thing that would be the best use of my time how are you determining what the best use of your time is um perhaps it's a a lack of guilty feeling um like I I I usually get that I'm like oh I can't believe I just went down that
• 07:00 - 07:30 rabbit hole I you know that was not the best use of my time like like I feel like I don't have a huge clarity my business it might be good to understand my business just a little bit so I have um projects where I do videos for clients some of them ongoing clients um I also have a lot of affiliate Revenue where I'm making videos about products and
• 07:30 - 08:00 um you know that's all fun and it's actually making you know a big chunk of my income right now and then I have my YouTube channel about moving to Mexico which is going to be my my future Revenue and so a lot of times I'm I'm in the wrong with the wrong but I'm I'm in a spot where I'm like oh you know should I really be doing this Amazon thing like like when I was supposed to
• 08:00 - 08:30 be finishing the email to you I got stuck somehow on an Amazon like you know I read an article that said you can look at the best sellers and those are good good videos to make and so I was going through and all of a sudden I was like oh my god I've just gone down this huge Rabbit Hole of looking at best sellers on Amazon trying to determine which one I can make money off of hmm and that did not feel like a good use of my time for instance hmm
• 08:30 - 09:00 it served some purpose yeah so what's the guilt what's the guilt I think that's the guilt it's the purpose was to to help me identify what I shouldn't have been doing at that point in time yeah so so it occurs to me there's lots of things going on right now there's a couple inner voices I'm hearing a couple different things um you know that that you're telling
• 09:00 - 09:30 yourself sort of a story around this and but there's something that's not settled in you about this kind of it sounds like ongoing Behavior yes so in our time together what would a successful shift look like boy I'm I'm struggling here I don't want
• 09:30 - 10:00 to say it's to get rid of that guilty feeling because the guilty feeling is is there for probably a good reason um I mean and I'm not sure we can in this half hour uh you know solve my productivity issues um but yeah what how how do I as an as a new coachee how do I even determine that so if you
• 10:00 - 10:30 really look at how you're feeling right now and how you were feeling yesterday when you noticed two and a half hours had gone by or whatever what is the experience you're having um I mean guilt's the only word that I can come up with like like uh and maybe it's not even guilt maybe it's more shame um to be like oh you know I just that was that was dumb of me to have spent my
• 10:30 - 11:00 time doing that versus any other thing I could have been doing so there is some self-criticism going on there it's sort of a critical voice that yeah yeah something that made you feel off right I mean you could have said ah two and a half hours went by and I learned a whole
• 11:00 - 11:30 bunch of stuff now I better get back to my email you didn't say that yep so what what do you think is really how what's what's really underneath all this uh now not now I'm thinking of spending time with my therapist and my father like oh to like not waste time and get stuff done and [Music] um yeah Midwestern uh roots of you know get it done yeah don't play don't mess
• 11:30 - 12:00 around work comes first so all that swirling in there so when you hear kind of that influence most voices of influence how does that sit with you right now um I I feel like um you know it's interesting I just saw the other day I was I was unpacking
• 12:00 - 12:30 everything and I came across this little button that said play and that's all it said and I remembered where I got it was at actually an ICF event I believe where they were doing an ICF Oregon event where they were doing um um improv training which is very playful and I think that's maybe where I'm going is that that missing part that we talked about earlier is play and instead of
• 12:30 - 13:00 getting my work done to then go play I Am interspersing distraction into the middle of my work so that my work day ends at 11 PM yeah and that I hear that and so then that distraction is that a version of play or what exactly is going on when that happens I mean maybe it is a little
• 13:00 - 13:30 it's it's very uh it's the word very not fun play but okay it's not necessarily work I mean it might be reading CNN.com or something is another place where I find myself very distracted uh so
• 13:30 - 14:00 they're I don't know if their habits uh what's important about play to you I think just the idea that life is short and play is is an important aspect of enjoyment of life [Music] so what's occurring to me right now as I'm kind of hearing you talk through this is
• 14:00 - 14:30 um you lit up actually when you were talking about playing getting that little button um there was an energy about you that I experienced from you a lot when when you're doing your video work and when you're reporting about your Mexico you know it's different than when you were talking about what sounded like to me the shoulds and this is you know so what's occurring to me is there's an
• 14:30 - 15:00 external influence going on do you do you feel something like that um I I feel like uh 49.9 years old I think I've internalized all that external influence of my father and whatnot so it's built in pretty well built in pretty well and that's that's what you've taken on
• 15:00 - 15:30 what do you hear yourself really wanting more of um it's Joy I was going to say fun but it's not necessarily that but it's Joy it's it's that smile on your face the feeling the warmth inside
• 15:30 - 16:00 more of that yeah and how do you know when you're in that state of being I mean that's a hard one because I don't think it's it's not obvious once you're inside it it's usually a something you look back on to say or something that I look back on to say oh
• 16:00 - 16:30 God that was so much fun you know that dinner or whatever we're out we were laughing we were you know really just having a good time and when those times are recalled it brings up a feeling in you that is can you identify that I feel I mean it's strange I feel like it like I feel like I'm wanting to smile it's like in my cheeks like you know
• 16:30 - 17:00 remembering the fun times yeah that's great all right so as far as what I'm hearing you say is that it would be that there's something that you would like to understand a little bit better that would have you making choices that are a little different than you're in making them
• 17:00 - 17:30 yeah yeah and um what what do you suspect is a culprit to some of this lack of production in your eyes or maybe your someone else's eyes um [Music] or that procrastination foreign it may get down to
• 17:30 - 18:00 I mean this might be kind of like an organized having something that I need to look forward to you know to say like okay that time is my we have a roommate right now he's he rented our house while we were gone and we have a little one-month overlap and he was out last night playing softball um and I was like oh yeah that was fun back in the days he's younger than us
• 18:00 - 18:30 um we'd play kickball and things like that and so there was like that organized time and it was you know like they had to get to that get there it was it was on the agenda and had to get everything done in order to get to that point okay so noticing that there was there's time carved out for that yeah and what do you see
• 18:30 - 19:00 in that for yourself so two things I mean clearly the need to carve time but then the need to put something in that have something to put there um because a lot of the stuff I mean my work is fun it's my business it's my and I'm like you know what I'm gonna edit a video about taking a tour of La Paz and that's fun um so
• 19:00 - 19:30 yeah I mean it's a kind of a what did Sarah call it not a work-life balance but a work-life Harmony or something like that yeah it's like you're weaving your your fun and playfulness into a lot of the work you're doing yeah but that missing piece it's almost like that type of play that you're talking about or that space that you're wanting what is it for
• 19:30 - 20:00 it's it's I think where the joy comes in okay so that's slightly different in flavor yeah then then you know it's fun and and what not to make videos but essentially joyful so different for you um I think interaction is important um it's hard to be joyful on your own
• 20:00 - 20:30 um maybe if you're in some uh very uh inspirational areas maybe it's a little easier but I think Joy is is easier experienced I'm hearing a value around sharing yeah and sharing enjoying it with others yeah um
• 20:30 - 21:00 yeah that there need needs to be something needs to be planned out that I need to create joy and that kind of like that reminds me of the play you know like playing doing the Improv stuff [Music] was joyful it was you know interactive with other people and
• 21:00 - 21:30 so it it feels like there's some incentive here to actually put some attention on how will you bring more of that in for yourself right as I asked you that I had this thought like well then back to the very beginning when you said
• 21:30 - 22:00 finding time finding minutes um but I I think what I have is that like if there was something to fill the time it'd be a lot easier for me to in my head say oh no this is you know don't do that um we're gonna do something better later so there's going to be something more
• 22:00 - 22:30 joyful that's coming up so get your work done hmm so I'm hearing that voice again uh-oh ask Master voice it's like but you did say I want to look forward to something it needs to be yeah it needs to be in place it needs to make sense to you hmm so that you can
• 22:30 - 23:00 what so that I can so I've got let's say my kickball my everyday quick kickball league or something that's happening every night at 8pm um it not only it puts in a spot for Joy but I think it also helps on the other end of of being smart about my productivity and
• 23:00 - 23:30 being purposeful um because it's it's I I mean I'm really good at completing projects by the deadline but if there's not a deadline not so good at it so I think this essentially the The Joy time is the deadline that and I'm I'm I'm happy when I'm productive I mean it's a good thing um and I get rid of the little guilty voice so
• 23:30 - 24:00 um it's almost a double win is the stay productive stay on task so I'm not like I mean today there's so much negative stuff in the world that you can get sucked into and I get sucked into some of that um so there's many wins there wow how are you with prioritizing yourself in this way
• 24:00 - 24:30 um oops um you know I'm not quite sure um how to answer that because because my myself and my business are so tied in together so it's not clear what's yeah separate so in the conversation so far we'll
• 24:30 - 25:00 check in with you what have what has been uncovered or what has shown itself here in our conversation that feels important to you think it's the need for the intentionality of adding joy and and coming up with a way to make it happen
• 25:00 - 25:30 um you know if that's more going out with friends if that's more you know scheduling time with my wife if it's more kind of that stuff um that seems to be easy to let go um or to have that time and then to fill it with something like oh we need to plan that trip to Wisconsin and you know that kind of thing so um so what needs to be different in the way you approach this so that you can
• 25:30 - 26:00 actually give it a good try to see what might be different that is that is a great question and I'm I I struggle around the whole like how to what is the joy and how to find it and what what are the steps I need to take to find it um I mean commitment obviously now that
• 26:00 - 26:30 I've kind of uncovered you know what is missing um at least now I know what to look for um but yeah now you know kind of in terms of concrete steps yeah um besides intentionality I'm not sure you know it it's almost a question is
• 26:30 - 27:00 popping up for me um maybe something that you could be asking yourself on a regular basis it's like when does Joy show up for me it's not a bad answer or maybe can you think of a question that's even a better one to ask yourself to keep you noodling on this yeah yeah it's almost like a
• 27:00 - 27:30 you know bedtime practice of like instead of a gratitude Journal a joy Journal no that I get to experience that today what was those what were those things didn't I think one of the things about gratitude journalism of course there's always something you should be grateful for but if we're looking for joy it may or may not have happened that day and that's okay but I think it's a good way to gauge it to gauge and to notice what's already there you know you said to go
• 27:30 - 28:00 out and seek it and yet what I'm hearing is maybe raising the awareness a little bit on when does it show up where does it show up right so is that more than I'm giving it credit for yeah or maybe it's really missing yep yeah I think that's a good first I feel like
• 28:00 - 28:30 a doable thing for you does that feel like something that you could actually gift yourself with a commitment around yeah I feel that is that is something yeah I felt like like trying to commit to finding that everyday kickball league was too much like I'm you know but finding where it is in my life now and better understanding that so that I can create more of it
• 28:30 - 29:00 it's a much more accessible shifted for me in your demeanor and as you sort of downsize that potential it seems possible yeah yeah does it stretch you enough if I truly commit to it yes will you truly commit to it yes that you can learn more about it yeah yes
• 29:00 - 29:30 yeah is there any other is there any other thing that that you can imagine will support you as your uh really exploring what Joy means to you but also that piece about considering carving out some time for yourself so you have something to look forward to I I feel like once I've found the joy that carving the time out won't be
• 29:30 - 30:00 difficult in that scenario that you painted right you'll have the fuel behind it or or exactly yeah a reason a reason you said earlier being purposeful yep it is what helps you be productive yes yes
• 30:00 - 30:30 did we miss anything here I don't think so so so what if you're taking away something of value that you can hold on to what is it in your words it's that I need more joy um and it felt like something completely different when we started this session I know and and I'll bursting you know from your cheeks
• 30:30 - 31:00 how will you know when you've touched on it or found it I think it's going to be that reflection time each night to see if it did happen because I think it's it's so easy to reflect back on so it's easy to remember those good times just doing it on a daily basis so knowing what you've told me that little bit about you and procrastination and various things what could potentially get in your way that's gonna
• 31:00 - 31:30 you know slow down this process that you want to be aware of I think just the not doing it like you know it's a simple thing it's also a simple thing to skip so it's a simple thing to skip and so how meaningful is it to you it's meaningful and I think that
• 31:30 - 32:00 I need to tie it to something yeah um and I think maybe tying into brushing my teeth at night might be the easiest thing to tie it to like one of those little micro uh skills you know that yeah they call it uh tasks where you you're trying to retrain a micro habits that's a micro habit yeah yeah something that is like automatic right yeah I've already got
• 32:00 - 32:30 the habit of brushing my teeth every night I might as well put more into that time [Music] yeah that's easier I think than doing it in bed yeah I imagine yeah all righty then so uh and you need any support from me or anyone that your wife or anyone to help you stay accountable no I think I'll stay accountable to
• 32:30 - 33:00 Colgate remember that's great and remember those multiple wins and that really struck me when you said that there's so many layers of winds in that finding that Joy yep yes anything else you need to say to Feel Complete today no this is a wonderful great first coaching session well thank you for allowing me to be
• 33:00 - 33:30 your coach today um so that was my first first coaching experience my first real coaching experience and I I I'm definitely impressed and have a list of things to do so for you for a list of things to do there is a video up here and that is if you are a coach and you want to watch a mentor coach review this video in terms of the ICF standards and down here there's a video if you are gonna you
• 33:30 - 34:00 know considering coaching and you're looking for how did this session really go what what was going on we're gonna have someone review this video from the point of view of a new coaching client