Healing the Inner Child - Puer aeternus

Summary

This video, presented by Graham Wilson, delves into the concept of the inner child, its historical roots, and its implications on modern psychology and therapy. The discussion explores how the notion of the inner child, initially introduced by Freud and developed further by Carl Jung, plays a crucial role in understanding human behavior. Wilson highlights the dual nature of the inner child: its capacity for joy and innocence and its repository of childhood trauma. The video also discusses the work of Alice Miller, her critique of traditional psychotherapy, and her emphasis on acknowledging and healing childhood trauma to mitigate adult psychological problems.

Highlights

• Dive into the mythology of the inner child with references from Greek and Roman stories 📚🧙.
• See how Carl Jung developed the concept further with terms like 'Puer Aeternus' and 'Puella Eterna' 🎩⚖️.
• Understand the shadow side of the inner child linked to adult responsibilities and rationality 🌑📏.
• Recognize the manifestation of the inner child in common adult dysfunctional behaviors 🤯.
• Learn practical steps for healing the inner child, as outlined by Steven Diamond's insights in Psychology Today ✨📜.
• Alice Miller's work highlights the importance of acknowledging the truth of childhood experiences to heal mental illness 🌈🧠.
• Alice Miller's critique suggests traditional therapies protect parents from blame rather than addressing child trauma 🔨👨‍👩‍👦‍👦.

Key Takeaways

• Uncover the timeless concept of the 'inner child' rooted in mythology and psychology 🧒🔍.
• Explore how the inner child affects adult behavior and mental health issues 💭🧠.
• Learn about Alice Miller's critique of traditional therapy and her focus on childhood trauma 🌱🛋️.
• Understand the dual nature of the inner child—joy and pain 🥳😢.
• Discover steps to heal your inner child and establish a nurturing self-relationship ❤️🛠️.

Overview

The concept of the inner child, as introduced by Freud and further shaped by Jung, traces back to the rich tapestry of Greek and Roman mythology. It presents an intriguing blend of childlike wonder and the shadows of past trauma, inviting audiences to delve deeper into psychology's nuanced textures. Developed under the labels of 'Puer Aeternus' for men and 'Puella Eterna' for women, this idea illustrates how these ancient understandings converge with modern psychological practice.

Graham Wilson's exploration of the inner child's impact on adulthood is compelling, pointing out how many adults unknowingly carry childhood imprints into their behavior and mental health. Highlighting the work of seminal figures such as John Bradshaw and Alice Miller, Wilson emphasizes the need to reconcile with one's inner child as an essential therapeutic process.

Alice Miller's groundbreaking criticism of psychotherapy's traditional paths commands attention, noting how these practices can often sideline the genuine acknowledgment of childhood distress. Through her focus on emotional revelation and acceptance, Miller advocates for addressing the root emotional battles to foster true healing. Such insights reinforce the video’s message: understanding and healing the inner child isn't just beneficial—it's transformational.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction to the Inner Child Concept The chapter begins with an introduction to the inner child concept, tracing its origins back to Greek and Roman mythology. It covers how the concept was further developed by Carl Jung, exploring the consequences and significance of this idea in understanding the human psyche. The chapter also delves into practical ways to recognize and address the inner child's impact in oneself and in clients. Finally, it explores the contributions of Alice Miller, highlighting her as a significant figure in the exploration of the inner child concept.
• 00:30 - 01:00: The Dual Nature of the Inner Child The chapter explores the concept of the 'inner child,' emphasizing its importance in understanding and transforming adult behavior. Though the inner child is a metaphorical concept, it holds significant psychological relevance. It highlights how every adult once was a child and that the child still resides within, even if many are unaware of it. The idea helps clients in therapy to identify and change their behaviors.
• 01:00 - 02:00: Historical and Mythological Context This chapter explores the dual nature of the 'inner child' concept, highlighting two contrasting aspects: the capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity, and playfulness, as well as the accumulated childhood pain, trauma, anger, and fear. The origins of the inner child idea are rooted in psychology, initially implied by Sigmund Freud and later developed by Carl Jung, who referred to it as 'Puer Aeternus' in males.
• 02:00 - 03:00: Psychological Implications The chapter 'Psychological Implications' discusses the concept of Puella Eternus, especially in females, where the image of a child within is a relatable theme explored in pop psychology and self-help literature. Authors like John Bradshaw, Alice Miller, and Eric Burn have utilized this theme in their works. The term originates from the Roman poet Ovid who lived between 43 BCE and 17 CE.
• 03:00 - 05:00: Healing the Inner Child The chapter discusses the concept of the 'Eternal boy,' particularly as represented by mythological figures such as Bacchus (Roman) or Iacchus (Greek). These figures, known for their endless youth and often associated with indulgence, are explored in terms of their symbolic representation of a life unrestrained by conventional societal norms and responsibilities. The transcript focuses on how this myth captures a certain reckless, yet blissful, aspect of being connected to one's inner child, suggesting themes of innocence, creativity, and the freedom inherent in one's inner world.
• 05:00 - 06:30: Alice Miller's Contribution The chapter titled 'Alice Miller's Contribution' delves into the concept of eternal joy and mental states associated with it, with a particular focus on the Roman figure 'Cupid,' known for his association with love and sex. The chapter discusses experiences ranging from playful to deeply spiritual, drawing parallels to the female figures in mythology, Aphrodite and Venus, while addressing the complexity of a carefree life explored through a bipolar perspective.

Healing the Inner Child - Puer aeternus Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 hello this is Graham in this video we're going to introduce the concept of the inner child its roots in Greek and Roman mythology how it was developed by Yung the consequences of it in our understanding of the human psyche and how we can begin to understand and address its impact in ourselves and our clients we finish with an exploration of the work of Alice Miller one of the most prolific explorers of this
• 00:30 - 01:00 idea the concept of the inner child is an idea that has proved very useful in helping clients to understand their behavior and find ways of transforming it it's metaphorical it's very real but it doesn't exist literally the idea is simple we were all children once and we still have that child within us even though most adults are oblivious to it this is is the inner
• 01:00 - 01:30 child it has two parts one is our capacity for innocence Wonder awe Joy sensitivity and playfulness the other is our accumulated childhood pain trauma anger and fear the concept of the inner child was first implied by Sigman Freud car Jung developed the idea describing it as PU eternus in males and
• 01:30 - 02:00 Puella ETA in females the image of a child within us is so easy to relate to that it's been used in many pop psychology and self-help books among these are the works of John Bradshaw Alice Miller and Eric burn the phrase pu eternus comes from the Roman poet ID who lived from around 43 3 BCE to 17 CE in his poem
• 02:00 - 02:30 Metamorphoses he wrote about a child God akakus that's one of his Greek names the Roman equivalent is bakus and described him as pu eternus the Eternal boy elsewhere IUS is identified with iros the Eternal boy as bacus would engage in drunken binges a life without
• 02:30 - 03:00 cares partying and playing jokes and interestingly experiencing religious ecstasy and other fitting types of mental disturbance the Eternal boy as OS his Roman name was cupid indulged in anything to do with love and sex the female equivalents were Aphrodite and Venus there's nothing wrong with a Carefree life and this character is described as bipolar in
• 03:00 - 03:30 mythology indeed iros is also the god of friendship and Freedom the key here though is of an eternal child operating in an adult World Carl Yung Drew heavily on mythology to provide metaphors for his ideas about the human psyche he adopted the concept of the Pu eternus sometimes called where animus or just animus when it's describing the masculine child within an adult
• 03:30 - 04:00 and Puella Eterna sometimes called Puella Ana or just Ana when it's describing the feminine child within an adult you'll find that I often use the terms Ana and animus to describe stereotypically feminine and masculine traits but without implying that they are associated with a particular gender according to Yung the Pua eternus has a further Shadow side known as the
• 04:00 - 04:30 senx which is Latin for old man which he associated with the Greek god cronis the senx is disciplined controlled responsible rational and orderly the problem with this link is that Kronos was a thoroughly nasty individual he was prone to killing and eating anyone that he saw as a threat to him including his six children worse still his friends and relatives would give him an emetic to
• 04:30 - 05:00 get him to throw the back up again but I don't think we're going to worry too much about him here in yian terms alongside the careless debed freedom-seeking symptoms of pu psychology are dreams of imprisonment images of chains bars cages being trapped and bondage those experiencing it will often see life as being a kind of
• 05:00 - 05:30 some Classics of literature refer to the puer eternus phenomenon The Little Prince by antoan danan zupy and Peter Pan by JM Barry so what does this phenomenon have to do with Psychotherapy puer psychology is based on the idea that we have been taught that to become adults our inner child has to be suppressed
• 05:30 - 06:00 dispatched to our unconscious if they were aware of the concept the vast majority of grown-ups would be convinced that they have achieved this however the inner child reveals itself in four ways firstly most mental disorders can be related to in terms of it secondly most destructive behavior in adults stems from it
• 06:00 - 06:30 thirdly neediness dependency and the fear of being abandoned all originate within it and finally the angry refusal by some people to behave responsibly does too these expressions of the inner child may allow the adult to function well certainly for a while and after a fashion but to the objective Observer as the counselor might hope to be they are
• 06:30 - 07:00 all about us most adults are not adults at all they're children in an adult's body a hurt frightened child desperately trying to engage in an adult World they struggle to have adult relationships with a sense of responsibility and permanence screwing around shacking up then abandoning a succession of
• 07:00 - 07:30 Partners they try to build a career but only to feed their habit of getting paralytic on Friday nights Stoned on Saturdays and laid that night or crashed out on a mate's sofa or perhaps they feel anxious afraid insecure tiny lost or alone and if they can they Retreat to mother or father sometimes the actual ones who scarred them as children sometimes to a life partner who is a
• 07:30 - 08:00 surrogate how could any child survive in this kind of adult world how then do we heal our own inner child or that of our clients Steven Diamond writing in Psychology today in 2008 spelled out some of the key steps we have to become aware of our own inner child we have to bring it back from the unconscious
• 08:00 - 08:30 then we need to take it seriously we need to talk to it to listen to it we have to understand what it truly feels and what it truly needs it needs to be loved accepted protected nurtured and understood the things it needed then are the things it needs most today Diamond refers to the bitter pill we have to understand and accept
• 08:30 - 09:00 that those needs that we had when we were children were not met by our imperfect parents or carers and they never will be as adults we can never put this right we can never get someone else to do so either no matter how clever good attractive loving or spiritual we try to be the only person who can understand these needs and be a good good enough
• 09:00 - 09:30 parent is the individual themselves we do so in exactly the same way that a good enough parent would do through open honest undistorted conversation and by providing our own discipline limits boundaries and structure Alice Miller was a Polish Swiss psychotherapist born in 1923 who became very well known when she
• 09:30 - 10:00 wrote a book called the drama of the gifted child the English language of version of which appeared in 1981 Miller's work although much of it is theoretical is incredibly influential in the introduction to the drama of the gifted child she states experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness the the emotional
• 10:00 - 10:30 Discovery and emotional acceptance of the truth in the individual and unique history of our childhood she became extremely critical of established schools of therapy especially the Freudian and yian ones Miller considered that the cause of most mental health issues addictions crime and religious cultism as being suppressed rage and pain this rage and pain was in response
• 10:30 - 11:00 to psychological abuse on its own or associated with physical and sexual abuse experienced during childhood she referred to those who worked with people to enable them to interpret their story and to express their rage and anger as they came to understand it as enlightened Witnesses Miller's view was that established therapies revolve around the prote ction of parents sparing them from
• 11:00 - 11:30 blame and perpetuating the fifth commandment honor thy father and thy mother she described ECT electr convulsive therapy as a campaign against the act of remembering she argued that the NeverEnding violence that we see in the world has its roots in the use of physical discipline against young children children are forbidden from defending themselves they have to
• 11:30 - 12:00 suppress Their Fear and rage and they can only express these as adults on their own children or on whole populations as she said child abuse like beating and humiliating not only produces unhappy and Confused children not only destructive teenagers and abusive parents but thus also a confused irrationally functioning Society
• 12:00 - 12:30 the recent film who's afraid of Alice Miller explores the tragic relationship between Miller and her son Martin