How Kids Can Benefit from Empathy and Love Language | Maple Zhang | TEDxKerrisdale

Summary

Maple Zhang, a young TEDx speaker, highlights the importance of empathy and love languages in understanding others and fostering happiness. Through personal anecdotes and lessons learned, she explains how empathy means respecting and appreciating others, and discusses the five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each love language represents different ways we can show care and affection. Maple shares heartwarming examples, such as role-switching with her mom to understand her better, and embracing hobbies of her loved ones to spend quality time together. She encourages everyone to understand their own love language to enhance relationships and increase happiness.

Highlights

• Maple Zhang shares how empathy helped her appreciate her mom's hard work. 👩‍👧
• Role-reversal with her mom taught Maple a lasting empathy lesson. 🤱
• Maple encourages embracing others' hobbies to show love through quality time. 🕒
• Understanding personal and others' love languages can increase happiness. 😌
• Maple's charming storytelling in discussing love languages inspires kids and adults alike. 🎤

Key Takeaways

• Empathy is crucial for understanding others and fostering happiness.
• The five love languages help us express care in diverse ways. 💖
• Knowing your love language can strengthen relationships and bring joy.
• Even kids can learn and practice empathy and love effectively. 😊
• Maple Zhang shares relatable stories to illustrate empathy and love languages.

Overview

In her engaging TEDx talk, Maple Zhang explores the significant role empathy plays in our lives, especially for children. Through amusing anecdotes and personal experiences, she emphasizes how understanding and practicing empathy can enhance our relationships with others. It's not just about knowing how others feel, but also about respecting their experiences and emotions.

Maple then delves into the intriguing concept of love languages, introduced by author Gary Chapman, and how it transforms interpersonal connections. She explains the five love languages—words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch—as ways people express love and care differently. By recognizing these, we can better connect with those we cherish.

Concluding her talk, Maple passionately discusses the importance of recognizing our own love language and those of our loved ones. She shares delightful stories of how these small, thoughtful gestures significantly deepen her relationships with her family and friends. Whether it's through a heartfelt note or quality time spent together, understanding these concepts ensures happier bonds.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 01:30: Empathy and Understanding In the chapter titled 'Empathy and Understanding', the narrative begins by highlighting human advancements, such as technological innovations like planes, submarines, and the internet. Despite these achievements, a central theme is highlighted: the difficulty humans face in understanding one another. This juxtaposition emphasizes that while human beings have made remarkable strides in various fields, empathy and mutual understanding remain areas that need significant improvement. The chapter invites readers to reflect on the paradox of technological progress alongside persistent interpersonal challenges.
• 01:30 - 03:00: Finding Personal Happiness The chapter on 'Finding Personal Happiness' discusses the challenges and efforts involved in discovering personal joy, both for oneself and others. It highlights the importance of personal interests and passions, using the example of an individual who finds happiness in drawing anime characters and aspires to become an art teacher. Additionally, the joy derived from creating and sharing YouTube videos is mentioned, illustrating how personal creative outlets can contribute to one's happiness.
• 03:00 - 05:00: The Value of Empathy The chapter titled "The Value of Empathy" begins with an individual expressing their passion for performing. They describe how they enjoy having their family watch their performances at home, which are typically based on things they've learned during the day. They mention how they use Google as a resource for quick answers, but find the greatest joy in personal interactions and discoveries that foster empathy.
• 05:00 - 07:30: Learning About Love Languages The chapter explores the concept of 'love languages,' beginning with a scene where the narrator indulges in some leisure reading. They express an enjoyment of diving into favorite books like 'Katie the Cat Sitter,' learning about capybaras' diet, or exploring the Caribbean islands. This scene represents one way love can be communicated: sharing and engaging in passions, indicating that the narrator feels loved and cared for in moments of pursuit of their interests. The chapter hints at how immersion in personal interests and the joy of learning are aspects of one's 'love language,' even if it causes minor distractions, like not hearing their mom call for dinner.
• 07:30 - 10:30: Applying Love Languages in Life The chapter "Applying Love Languages in Life" presents the narrator's perspective on their love for books over other media, such as YouTube. The narrator appreciates books because they offer stories where characters connect and understand each other's struggles, often concluding with happy endings. This preference for happy endings is something they cherish especially after a long day, whether at school or work.

How Kids Can Benefit from Empathy and Love Language | Maple Zhang | TEDxKerrisdale Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 [Music] [Music] we like to think that we humans are pretty advanced we can make planes that fly submarines that can travel to the bottom of the ocean we invented electricity and the internet but every day I noticed that people find it hard to understand each other
• 00:30 - 01:00 and while we know a lot about creating and Building Things to make our life easier we have some work to do in finding out what makes us happy and what makes others happy I know what makes me happy I'd love to draw anime characters I'm thinking maybe I'll be an art teacher when I grow up I love to create YouTube videos with my cell phone I have more than 20 videos on my channel
• 01:00 - 01:30 so don't forget to like And subscribe I also love to perform I make my family sit on the sofa and watch me while I put on the show and perform mostly it's about what I learned that day you must be thinking I'm finding out these fun facts on the internet well Google can be my best friend when I need a quick answer but nothing makes me happier than
• 01:30 - 02:00 reading I just love sinking into my favorite chair opening up a book and reading Katie the cat sitter my favorite series knowing more about what Capybaras eat or finding out about the beautiful Caribbean islands I'm so immersed in my reading that sometimes I don't even hear my mom when she yells meatball it's dinner time
• 02:00 - 02:30 sorry Mom but why my friends asked me why I love books so much I should just watch more YouTube videos well for me I like books because when I read about people's stories and struggles they always find ways to connect and understand each other I love books with happy endings don't you I'm sure after a long day at school will work we all want a happy ending to our day
• 02:30 - 03:00 too right my mom has always taught my brother and I to be respectful of each other and of others we always make sure we find time to talk to each other even when we are tired at the end of the day she also taught us to be considerate of others and see how they are feeling I know now that this is called empathy
• 03:00 - 03:30 I had a really important lesson in empathy which I will never forget once we went to see my cousin when she was just a baby I told my mom I was so jealous because my cousin got to spend her whole day in bed just lying down she didn't have to do chores get ready by herself or even help fold the laundry then my mom told me when I get older I'll have to do so much
• 03:30 - 04:00 more I'll have more responsibilities like my mom then she had a great idea which in the beginning I also thought was a great idea we decided to switch roles mom was staying bad like my baby cousin and I would be the mom we were both so excited to do this mom stayed in bed she was on her phone
• 04:00 - 04:30 she texted her friends watched some videos sometimes she was even napping I had to be the mom remember I made breakfast I made a bed I even brought Mom some food for lunch don't tell her but while she was napping I snuck into her closet and tried on some fruit clothes shoes and jewelry because I always thought that this was the best part of being a mom then I went back to work
• 04:30 - 05:00 more cleaning laundry folding clothes well Mom just watched and relaxed I was so tired that I quit after half a day I never realized that mommy Ying was such hard work now you'll understand that I will never forget the word empathy I respected my mom so much more but I love being a kid even more
• 05:00 - 05:30 and now that I know how tiring it is for a mom I make it a point to make her happy when she is tired I read this book once About Love Languages by a famous author called Gary Chapman he talks about five ways or love languages how we can show people we care how we can show empathy the first one is words of affirmation
• 05:30 - 06:00 these are the words you use to tell people you care for them I had a classmate Rebecca she is on the autism spectrum and doesn't really talk much I feel sad for her because she doesn't have a lot of friends I know that Rebecca prefers not to talk so I send her notes asking her to join my friends and I for recess or be in our group when we did activities sometimes she would come and we see that
• 06:00 - 06:30 she had a good time Wars of affirmation don't have to be spoken writing notes can help too the second one is acts of service these are the things you do to show people you care for them in our class I try to be helpful in class so that the teacher doesn't have to do a lot of cleanup and while my friends wanted to draw
• 06:30 - 07:00 anime characters like I do I started an art club and at first recess I helped them learn to draw it I feel good knowing I can do something for others to make them feel happy the third one is kiss this is my favorite but it's not how you think of course I'd love to receive presents but I like giving them even more especially when it's a surprise
• 07:00 - 07:30 last Chinese New Year I opened my piggy bank and made red packets for my grandma and grandpa I didn't give a lot but they were so surprised and happy to get something for me they have big happy smiles on their faces I can remember it even today the fourth love language is quality time
• 07:30 - 08:00 spending time with your family and loved ones is super important for example I play with my cousin she's only three years old it's a little hard because I'm the one who's talking and entertaining her more but I do it anyways because she loves it I also play Pokemon with my big brother it wasn't really my thing at first but I played it anyways because he enjoys it
• 08:00 - 08:30 now I really love it and I know my Charmander from my Charizard we even named our bearded dragon Charmander try to do the things they like even if you're not really interested at first the last love language is physical touch my mom really connects with this love language because when I see that she's tired I rush to give her a hug and sometimes when I'm done with my
• 08:30 - 09:00 homework I give her a coupon for Maples Relaxation Center it's the spot that I set up in the living room where she can sit and enjoy shoulder massage words of affirmation acts of service gifts quality time and physical touch what's your love language what would make you happy think about how you are feeling after a
• 09:00 - 09:30 long day at school or work what would make you happy when you come home would you want someone to talk to you ask about your day or compliment you for the age that you got in math if this sounds like you your love language is likely worth of affirmation do love it when people do thoughtful actions for you liked how I helped put the dishes away for my mom
• 09:30 - 10:00 it might be that you like acts of service or maybe you love it when you come home and find a surprise like your favorite snack or new book then gifts are what makes you happy what about if you love to play board games watch a movie or walk in the park with your family and friends if this sounds like you your love language may be quality time
• 10:00 - 10:30 I know my love language and my mom's we like to give each other hugs we know our love language is physical touch I may only be nine but I know that it's important to be more thoughtful more kind and more giving we need empathy to know how others feel and we can use Love Languages to speak in a way others understand
• 10:30 - 11:00 so did you think about it what's your love language what will make you happy if you know your love language let those you love know what to everyone will be much happier for it thank you [Music]