How to Speak to Your Kids | Supernanny

Summary

In this episode of Supernanny, Jo Frost revisits the Jean household to review and improve their discipline techniques. Using DVD footage, she highlights ineffective discipline strategies and promotes the 'naughty store' technique. She emphasizes the importance of tone and expression in communication with children. Jo teaches Barbara and David how to use a firmer voice to convey authority, as well as how to offer encouraging praise effectively. The methods taught are aimed to help parents maintain control and establish constructive routines with their children.

Highlights

• Jo uses DVD footage to show Barbara and David their discipline missteps 📼.
• The importance of not letting children have control is emphasized ✋.
• Jo teaches how to use voice tone effectively for discipline and praise 🎤.
• Barbara learns to say 'no, stop that' firmly to manage her kids 🚫.
• The episode highlights the impact of consistent routines and activities for kids 🎉.

Key Takeaways

• Tone matters! A firm voice conveys authority 💪.
• Don't let kids manipulate the situation. Maintain control 🚦.
• Saying sorry is about tone, not just the word 💬.
• The 'naughty store' technique can help with discipline 👤.
• Consistency in routines positively impacts family dynamics 🔄.

Overview

Jo Frost returns to the Jean household with DVD footage showcasing some of the parental challenges she's observed. She points out how Barbara and David are inadvertently giving their children too much control. It's a slap-on-the-forehead moment, highlighting how easily kids can manipulate situations if they're given an inch! Jo stresses that discipline isn't just about rules, but how they are communicated.

The 'naughty store' technique is introduced as a method to enforce discipline, requiring children to apologize sincerely and learn from their actions. Jo works with Barbara on lowering her tone to convey authority and speaks about the virtue of consistency. These subtle changes make all the difference, transforming apologies from mere words to genuinely felt acknowledgments. It's all about the tone!

By the end of the episode, Barbara and David are visibly more confident in their approach to parenting. Jo's techniques offer not just the tools, but the hope that managing a household of kids doesn't have to feel like herding cats. Regular routines, clear communication, and consistency are the pillars they build on for a more harmonious family life.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction & DVD Footage Review The chapter focuses on a gathering at the Jean household where the narrator returns after being away for a few days. The purpose of the visit is to show Barbara and David some DVD footage of themselves that was captured while the narrator was away. The chapter suggests a moment of anticipation and reflection as they prepare to view the recorded moments together. A brief exchange suggests familiarity and camaraderie among them as they prepare to watch the DVD.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Parental Control & Apology Discussion The chapter discusses the dynamics of parental control and the importance of addressing apologetic behavior with children. It begins with an acknowledgment of a troubling situation where a parent is running late and seems to be conceding control to a child. The conversation includes a plea for an apology, revealing the challenges parents face when navigating apologies with young children, specifically a 4-year-old in this case. The discussion highlights the potential for children to manipulate situations if given too much autonomy, and the need for parents to maintain control to prevent their children from taking advantage of situations.
• 01:00 - 01:30: Discipline & Apology Techniques The chapter explores the concepts of discipline and apology within personal interactions. It highlights a scenario where an apology is expected, discussing the significance of the delivery of an apology rather than just the words. The text suggests that genuine apologies are characterized by sincerity in their expression and that this approach can influence how discipline and communication are effectively managed.
• 01:30 - 02:00: Voice Tone and Discipline Training In this chapter, the focus is on voice tone and discipline training. The discussion revolves around the importance of tone of voice in effective communication and discipline. It stresses that every time tone is not properly managed, it conveys a wrong message that certain behaviors are acceptable. The chapter emphasizes the need to address these issues by tweaking necessary elements to improve the situation.
• 02:00 - 02:30: Practical Voice Exercises The chapter focuses on practical voice exercises and behavioral techniques. It emphasizes the use of a calm and assertive voice to manage certain situations. Particularly, it uses the example of managing a behavior issue by instructing a person named David to remain calm and stay in a specific location before apologizing. The "naughty store" technique is mentioned as a method for managing behavior by imposing a calm period followed by an apology. This suggests a focus on controlling one's tone and demeanor as key elements of the exercises discussed.
• 02:30 - 03:00: Confidence Building & Closing Thoughts The chapter focuses on building confidence and delivering closing thoughts. It includes practical advice on how to implement the 'naughty store' technique effectively, emphasizing the importance of following through so the child learns that it's an authoritative figure they must listen to. The narrative describes a scenario involving a child's reluctance to apologize, underlining the necessity of sincerity in apologies and the role of a disciplined yet understanding approach in encouraging genuine remorse and behavioral correction.

How to Speak to Your Kids | Supernanny Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 after being away for a couple of days I came back to the Jean household to show Barbara and David some DVD footage of themselves since I'd been away well I've got some footage here that I'd like all of us to sit down and watch okay let's take a look I know how to undo that I know you do I'm never going to play with you
• 00:30 - 01:00 this is horrifying I understand your circumstances you're running late but don't give her that control she's not doing as she's told and she's getting away with it okay will you apologize to me I will you apologize to me yes I'm asking permission from a 4-year-old if you give your children the chance they'll easily uh manipulate the situation and uh and's in control of
• 01:00 - 01:30 that discipline at the moment no are you going to apologize to me stop thank you couldn't wait to hear that she finally said she was sorry and that's all I wanted to hear uh people say to me when's a sorry a genuine sorry and I think a genuine sorry it's not in the word it's how it's delivered so um you know you could have turn around and and just said to her please talk to me properly what what are you doing to your
• 01:30 - 02:00 sister would you watch what you're doing please your tone of voice not good at all not good at all every time she's registering that she's getting away with it and that's the message that goes across no you're absolutely right it would have been none of this would have happened right okay so what we're going to do today guys is tweak all the stuff that needs tweak in all right okay I'm great okay let's
• 02:00 - 02:30 go give me your battery going right if you do not listen to me I am going to place you L to me store you're going on the naughty store David still needs to get the smaller details on the naughty store technique come keep calm David Keep Calm come keep calm stay here for 4 minutes and then apologize to me and you can leave sorry come on
• 02:30 - 03:00 can't okay well it's a little hard I I know I know but what she can do is she can sense that she will learn that when you follow through with this naughty store technique that it's you she must listen to can get up off the chair sorry that isn't a very serious sorry s okay D this is where we're at now we're at the last stage with the apology look at Daddy stop winging and say you're sorry sorry right okay there we go you hear the
• 03:00 - 03:30 difference in the tone yeah thank you now now only 15 more years of this and I might be in your level you think it you think it you did good though Barbara's definitely struggling with disciplining so I'm going to be teaching Barbara how to project and to maintain a low tone voice I'd like you literally to say no stop that no stop that okay that was good
• 03:30 - 04:00 that was good for the first time so just bring the voice out with more clarity no stop that okay do a happy praise voice so bring your voice up high Andra that is really [Music] fantastic Andra that is really fantastic no that's not acceptable that is not acceptable that is very good that is very good behavior yourself behave
• 04:00 - 04:30 yourself I don't want you to do that do not do that that was brilliant that was brilliant using my voice and my tone and my expression as a way to manage my kids I think that gives me a little bit more confidence and more hope I need you to apologize to me sorry sorry Mommy one complete circle around the umbrella yay pick up a ball beautiful I think Joe is great I think she's amazing
• 04:30 - 05:00 I'm really hopeful that I can maintain the techniques and the things that we've been working on while she's here look it I have a better my having a routine and for me to be able to have activities with the children has been a really positive change for us just the two of us before Chandler came into the picture we went from one to two boys it wasn't that big of a change but then the third really was a big jump