How to STOP sabotaging your confidence

Summary

Highlights

• Confidence isn't just about self-affirmations; it's a skill you can develop 🎯.
• Setting goals, even small ones, can provide a sense of purpose and mission 🎯.
• Improving appearance can significantly boost self-esteem; skincare plays a crucial role 🌟.
• Challenge limiting beliefs about yourself and others; it's key to unlocking potential 🔓.
• Track and celebrate small achievements to build a foundation of confidence 🏆.
• Keep promises to yourself to reinforce self-trust and reliability 🤝.

Key Takeaways

• Set actionable goals to gain a sense of purpose and direction 🧭.
• Enhance your appearance to boost confidence, focusing on grooming and skincare 💄.
• Identify and overcome limiting beliefs to reach your potential 🚫.
• Recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small 🎉.
• Build confidence by keeping promises to yourself and following through on commitments ✔️.

Overview

How to STOP sabotaging your confidence Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 a lot of the stuff out there about confidence it's very wishy-washy it's all say positive affirmations in the mirror practice self-love but I know as well as you know that kind of stuff doesn't really help anybody so I decided to make a video about confidence with five actionable steps that you can actually use I believe being the person you want to be will help you with your confidence but it's also a skill in of itself I've met many successful people
• 00:30 - 01:00 in life who actually had very low levels of confidence so in today's video we're going to take a look at both the internal and the external things you can do to enhance your confidence and stop sabotaging yourself in this [Music] area hello my name is James and I'm on a mission to create a generation of gentlemen the first thing you should do to stop sabotaging your confidence is Set actionable Go goals a confident man
• 01:00 - 01:30 is a man on a mission a confident man needs to have a sense of purpose and drive something he's working toward how can you be confident if you drift about in life without any clear sense of direction without trying to accomplish something significant think about a character like James Bond to many men he exemplifies confidence I believe that a large part of his confidence comes from his deep rooted sense of purpose bond is all always on a mission now your mission
• 01:30 - 02:00 doesn't need to be as Grand as saving the world from an evil Overlord it can be as simple as taking care of yourself taking care of somebody else or fulfilling your duties and responsibilities even if it's as mundane as walking a dog or watering a plant so as an action point to become more confident I want you to set one attainable goal with a metric that you can track a really easy example of this would be to lose f
• 02:00 - 02:30 you can track the metric of your weight going down every single week or your metric could be the amount of effort or time you put into something for example if you've decided to start a business or a side hustle I don't know if you're going to make any money in the first few weeks possibly not but your metric and your goal can be to put x amount of hours of work into it every single week the second way to stop sabotaging your confidence is to fix your appearance
• 02:30 - 03:00 when we look better we feel better it's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about men's style and grooming because if you aren't happy with the way you look it's very hard to feel confident think about an environment that many people would find intimidating like walking into a crowded room of strangers if you feel that you look good you're happy with the way that you are dressed and you've presented yourself you will feel much more confident introducing yourself to new people than if you felt like you didn't look look too hot you
• 03:00 - 03:30 hadn't really worn the right thing for the occasion and you hadn't had a shower in 2 days so there is a big difference in your confidence when you know you look good versus when you don't when it comes to looking good there are some things that we can't change like our height however there are many things we can change such as our clothing our hairstyle and our grooming one thing that I believe many men are overlooking when it comes to their appearance is skincare and that's why I'm excited to have te Hanley as the sponsor of today's
• 03:30 - 04:00 video implementing a visibly effective skincare routine will boost your confidence in all areas of life with teach Handley skin care is uncomplicated it only takes a few minutes in the morning and before bedtime to complete the routines and start seeing results I recommend beginning with the level one system which comes with a daily face wash an exfoliating scrub an AM moisturizer and then a PM moisturizer but don't don't just take my word for it
• 04:00 - 04:30 trust the millions of guys around the world who use teach Handley with over 15,000 fstar reviews and te Hanley is confident you'll love it too which is why they give you their handsome guarantee you either love it or you get your money back no questions asked you take care of your body by working out and dressing well don't forget about your face too skincare might be the last thing you think about but it's the first thing people see and since T Chan is a
• 04:30 - 05:00 sponsor for today's video they're offering you an amazing deal save up to 40% on your first box today and get a gift valued at $20 plus sign up as a member and you'll get 20% off for Life by the way one of our new free gifts is a manicure set a Precision crafted nail kit with four grooming Essentials valued at $24 it's yours for free you can now find T Chanley at hundreds of stores across the us click the link below to
• 05:00 - 05:30 see the store nearest you but if you want the best offer shop through my link today and start a life-changing skincare routine the third step to stop sabotaging your confidence is to get over limiting beliefs I know this one sounds a little wishy-washy but hear me out let me explain there are two types of limiting beliefs there are beliefs that we have about ourselves and there are beliefs that others have about us which we accept and eart toall has a
• 05:30 - 06:00 great quote about this which I think really Rings true our limiting beliefs can cause us to miss out on the things that we want most I'll give you an example of a limiting belief that I'm so glad I managed to get past when I wanted to start a YouTube channel initially I just believed I didn't have a big enough wardrobe to begin talking about style I was comparing myself to the guys like Antonio and Raphael who have huge closets the side size of my apartment
• 06:00 - 06:30 full of clothes that they've acquired over decades and me looking at my relatively small closet with just a few dress shirts and a few Blazers I felt like I was in no position to talk about style and after doing this channel for over a year I've learned so much about style I've been introduced to so many Brands and I've even struck up sponsorships with some of my favorite companies which of course has grown my wardrobe exponentially to the point where I think I need a bigger apartment you you might have a limiting belief
• 06:30 - 07:00 like people in your town don't go on to accomplish much or I don't have the time in the day to work on my goals but sometimes limiting beliefs can be a little bit darker like I don't think I deserve to be happy I don't deserve to be successful sometimes other people have a very restricted idea of who you are they will try and push you back down and keep you on their level when you try and change and improve and that's why I think it's a very powerful thing for every young man to leave his hometown
• 07:00 - 07:30 even if it's just for college get out of this environment where people have a preconceived idea of who you are and limited expectations about what you can achieve so as an action point I want you to identify three limiting beliefs you have write each one on a Post-It note and find a way to challenge and disprove this limiting belief yes positive affirmations can be useful when challenging limiting beliefs but I
• 07:30 - 08:00 believe this next step is even more powerful I don't often talk about Alex hosi on this channel he's hardly going to win an award for stylish man of the year but he has a great quote about focusing on your wins to overcome limiting beliefs he says you don't become Confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are and at this point you might feel like you don't have any success you don't have a stack of proof
• 08:00 - 08:30 but don't overlook the validity of the smaller things for example did you get out of bed this morning did you brush your teeth did you sit down to work these are all Stepping Stones maybe look back on your accomplishments academically okay maybe you weren't the greatest student in maths or English but maybe you were great at history or art these are all proofs that you can accomplish something significant a very healthy and practical way to gain
• 08:30 - 09:00 confidence is to take inventory of your wins take inventory of your successes on a daily basis on a weekly basis monthly and yearly on days that have been less productive than average and I'm feeling a little frustrated with myself I like to think have I done something today that's put me in a better position than I was yesterday some days that might be a significant thing sometimes it might be tiny but that feeling that I'm constantly moving in the right Direction
• 09:00 - 09:30 gives me a lot of confidence so as an action point I want you to take a journal write down one win that you achieved today write down another one you achieved this week a third for the month and fourth one win you achieved this year hopefully the wins will get bigger and bigger as you expand the time frame and you'll see that you have the power to make progress and improve your life imagine you agree with your friends that you're going to meet the following morning at 7:00 a.m. to go for a run
• 09:30 - 10:00 together you wake up 6:00 a.m. brush your teeth get your running shoes on drink some water and head out of the house to meet them in the park like you agreed you get there at 7:00 and they're nowhere in sight you wait a few minutes maybe they're running late after all it's quite early still nobody around it gets to 10 74 7 and you start to think you know what they're not coming I've
• 10:00 - 10:30 tried calling them I've texted them no reply I guess I've got to just go on this run by myself a couple of hours later you're back home you've had your shower you're sitting down to work and they finally text you oh I'm so sorry man I missed this morning I overslept how about tomorrow at 7:00 how confident would you be that they are actually going to turn up at 7:00 the next morning the answer is likely not very confident and the same applies to the levels of confidence we have have in ourselves if we tell ourselves that
• 10:30 - 11:00 we're going to do something and we consistently fail to do then we break our own promises and we diminish our trust in ourselves to be more confident you have to prove to yourself that you are who you say you are and that you will do what you said you would do to put this into practice start with small promises start by setting habits that you agree with yourself you're going to follow through on and it can be something really as simple as making
• 11:00 - 11:30 your bed in the morning or going for a brief amount of exercise three or four times a week and personally I like to do this by scheduling events in my calendar the calendar the daily diary is like a list of promises that I've made to myself so as an action point I want you to make one new promise to yourself and fulfill that promise every single day it can be something related to your physical health like a workout it could be something as simple as Skin Care or
• 11:30 - 12:00 eating a piece of fruit it's actually better to start off with something small that's attainable so that you can build that trust and that reliability in yourself so Gentlemen let's recap the five ways to stop sabotaging your confidence number one you need to set actionable goals so you feel a sense of purpose and you have a mission in life number two you need to improve your appearance the better we look the better
• 12:00 - 12:30 we feel and a great way to do that is by taking your skin care seriously with teach Handley three get over limiting beliefs both limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves and limiting beliefs that we've accepted from others four focus on your wins remember the proof that you already have that you are who you say you are proof that you can do what you want to do and five keep promises to yourself don't be like the friend that lets you down be the friend
• 12:30 - 13:00 to yourself that you can rely on to do exactly what he said he will do gentlemen I hope you've enjoyed today's video thank you very much for watching and I'll see you in the next one