How To Think Fast Before You Speak (Framework Thinking)

Summary

The video explores how to develop the skill of thinking fast and speaking effectively using the concept of framework thinking. This method doesn't require being naturally witty but involves utilizing specific strategies to organize thoughts and respond promptly in conversations. Key frameworks include mental rehearsal, storytelling, and keyword association, which are designed to prepare your mind for any conversational situation. The creator discusses both pre-conversation preparations and in-situ techniques to enhance clarity, composure, and conversational agility. Finally, reflection on past conversations is encouraged to identify areas for future improvement.

Highlights

• Framework thinking is your brain's cheat code for fast, effective conversations. 🧠
• Mental rehearsal helps you prepare for conversations by pre-visualizing scenarios. 🎬
• Storytelling isn't just for entertainment; it's a tool for quick thinking and engagement. 📚
• The keyword association game builds your cognitive flexibility for rapid responses. ⚡
• In-conversation tactics like pausing and paraphrasing boost clarity and control. 🤔
• Use humor as a deflector to navigate tricky conversational moments with ease. 😂
• Bridging phrases help steer conversations in your desired direction smoothly. 🌉

Key Takeaways

• Unlock the secret to quick, effective speaking with framework thinking! 💡
• Prepare like a pro with mental rehearsal and always be ready for any conversation. 🤓
• Use storytelling to capture your audience and make quick connections. 📖
• Sharpen your mind with the keyword association game for rapid idea generation. 🧠
• Navigate conversations smoothly with bridging phrases and humor. 🤹‍♂️
• Master in-conversation frameworks to maintain composure and clarity. 🎯
• Reflect on past chats to continuously improve your conversational skills. 🔄

Overview

Have you ever been caught searching for words during a vital discussion? You're not alone, and there's a solution – framework thinking. This engaging video by Ideas To Thrive teaches you how to think faster and speak more effectively, not by innate talent, but by mastering strategic frameworks.

Learn to harness the power of frameworks such as mental rehearsal, which involves pre-visualizing conversations to free up mental space, storytelling to engage listeners and swiftly convey points, and the keyword association game to mentally map out and connect different concepts rapidly.

The video also dives into in-conversation strategies like using bridging phrases to connect topics smoothly and humor to defuse tension. Moreover, it highlights the importance of post-conversation reflection to identify patterns and constantly improve your communication skills.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 01:00: Introduction The chapter introduces the common challenge of finding the right words in important conversations, a situation most people have experienced. It questions why some people are better at articulate communication than others, pondering if it's due to lack of natural wit or other factors. The chapter further reveals the insights of a corporate coach who, after years of research, concludes that eloquence isn't a magical talent limited to a few.
• 01:00 - 02:00: Framework Thinking: An Overview The chapter titled 'Framework Thinking: An Overview' discusses the concept of framework thinking. It is portrayed as a mental strategy akin to a 'cheat code' for the brain, enhancing conversational effectiveness. It emphasizes using mental models and structures to organize thoughts, improve information access, and respond efficiently. The chapter promises to introduce 12 specific frameworks designed to elevate conversational skills to an expert level, referred to as becoming a 'conversational ninja.'
• 02:00 - 11:00: Chapter 1: Pre-Conversation Preparation This chapter emphasizes the importance of preparation before engaging in conversations. It cites Benjamin Franklin's quote, 'By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail,' to underline this point. The chapter argues that preparing for conversations, especially challenging or complex ones, is crucial. It encourages readers not to rely on improvisation or 'winging it,' as this often proves insufficient. Instead, it advocates for forethought and preparation to think and speak effectively.
• 11:00 - 33:00: Chapter 2: In-Conversation Frameworks Chapter 2: In-Conversation Frameworks discusses strategic approaches to conversations by introducing three effective frameworks. The first framework is 'Mental Rehearsal.' This technique is about practicing and refining responses to conversations in advance, allowing any adjustments to occur before the actual conversation happens. It's highlighted as a powerful tool for preparing the mind for important interactions.
• 33:00 - 36:00: Chapter 3: Post-Conversation Reflection Chapter 3: Post-Conversation Reflection delves into the benefits of mental rehearsal for conversations. The technique acts like a 'cheat sheet' for the brain, enhancing cognitive efficiency and quick response times during interactions. This chapter outlines the first of five steps to maximize mental rehearsal: 'Visualize the scene.' It emphasizes vividly imagining the conversation setting, including the people and atmosphere. The chapter suggests that the more detailed the visualization, the more effective the rehearsal will be.
• 36:00 - 36:30: Conclusion The chapter titled 'Conclusion' emphasizes the importance of preparation in navigating conversations and interactions effectively. It outlines a structured approach, starting with rehearsal, to foresee potential challenges such as questions, objections, and emotional responses that might arise. The chapter advises readers to mentally practice their responses, experimenting with different choices of words and body language to gauge their impact on the conversation's flow and tone. Engaging emotions, rather than relying solely on rote rehearsal, is also highlighted as a key aspect of effective communication in the conclusion.
• 36:30 - 37:00: Next Steps This chapter emphasizes the importance of preparing emotionally and strategically for conversations. It suggests asking oneself questions like how one wants to feel during the interaction — whether it's confident, calm, or empathetic. The chapter introduces a five-step process, with a focus on the last two steps: refining responses and repeating the practice until a level of comfort and confidence is achieved. This method is applicable in both professional and personal contexts, including crucial situations such as job interviews.

How To Think Fast Before You Speak (Framework Thinking) Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 have you ever struggled to find the right words during a conversation maybe your mind goes blank when you needed it most we've all been there fumbling through our thoughts wishing we could articulate ourselves clearly when it matters the most why is that and why are some people good at it while others aren't is it simply because of lack of natural wit or is there something else at play as a corporate coach I have spent years trying to find an answer to this question what I eventually realized is that it does not take some magical talent that is reserved for the eloquent
• 00:30 - 01:00 few it in fact can be easily developed by mastering the art of framework thinking so what is framework thinking think of it as a cheat code for your brain that makes you an effective conversationalist it involves using mental models and structures to organize your thoughts access that information quickly and respond effectively in this video I'll share 12 frameworks that will transform you into a conversational ninja so stick around as we dive deep into how to master them in our daily
• 01:00 - 01:30 lives chapter one pre-con conversation preparation benjamin Franklin famously said "By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail." This is as true in conversations as it is anywhere else the first step towards thinking fast while speaking is to be prepared for what might come sounds obvious right but how often do you actually prepare for conversations like most do you just wing it and hope for the best unfortunately this approach often falls flat especially during challenging and complex personal or professional
• 01:30 - 02:00 conversations but what if there was a more strategic approach in this chapter I will share three effective frameworks that will prepare your mind for any conversation and set you up for success framework one mental rehearsal have you ever wished you could have a doover for a conversation that went wrong mental rehearsal gives you the opportunity to practice and refine your responses in advance so that any doovers happen before the actual conversation it is a powerful technique for preparing your mind for important conversations it's
• 02:00 - 02:30 like having a cheat sheet for your brain allowing you to think faster during conversations it is effective because it allows you to free up mental space during the actual conversation this allows you to think faster and respond more effectively in the moment these are the five steps to get the most out of mental rehearsal step one visualize the scene vividly imagine the conversation setting the trick is to picture the people involved and the overall atmosphere the more detailed the visualization is the more effective the
• 02:30 - 03:00 rehearsal will be step two anticipate potential challenges think about what questions might you be asked what objections might be raised what emotions might arise the more you anticipate the better prepared you'll be to respond effectively step three practice your responses mentally rehearse your responses try different word choices and body language the trick is to pay attention to how different responses might affect the flow and tone of the conversation step four engage your emotions instead of just rehearsing the
• 03:00 - 03:30 words engage your emotions as well you can do so by asking questions like "How do I want to feel during the conversation is it confident calm empathetic step five refine and repeat it is important to refine your responses adjust your strategies and repeat the process until you feel comfortable and confident the beauty of this framework is that it can be applied to both professional and personal conversational settings for example let's say you're preparing for a job interview for a position that you really want here is
• 03:30 - 04:00 how you can apply mental rehearsal first close your eyes and imagine the interview room picture the interviewers the layout of the room and the overall atmosphere if you've been to the office before recall the details if not research the company and try to create a mental picture of the environment second research common interview questions and how you may address them focus on how you can reply to potential questions regarding your skills experience and career goals also think about how you can leverage your strengths and weaknesses to respond to behavioral
• 04:00 - 04:30 questions like "Tell me the time you failed." Third rehearse your answers to all the anticipated questions focus on delivering your response while being concise and clear strategies like STAR method are particularly efficient to structure your answers to behavioral questions fourth consider the emotions you want to convey during the interview confidence enthusiasm professionalism practice emoting those during your mental rehearsal for example if you want to project confidence practice speaking with a strong voice maintaining eye
• 04:30 - 05:00 contact and using positive body language finally keep identifying areas of improvement during your mental rehearsal plug those gaps by refining your responses adjusting your strategies and repeating the process till the time you are insanely confident and comfortable with your responses one way is to do mock interviews to get feedback and refine your approach similarly you can go about using this framework to ace presentations negotiations or any anticipated difficult conversations
• 05:00 - 05:30 remember by incorporating mental rehearsal you can not only boost your confidence but also free up mental space during the actual conversation thus enabling you to think faster react more effectively and increase your success rate now while mental rehearsal helps prepare for specific scenarios what about those unexpected conversational twists and turns this next framework has the answer framework two storytelling shortcut you may be thinking storytelling how is that relevant to thinking faster in a conversation even
• 05:30 - 06:00 though we primarily think of stories as a medium for entertainment they are much more than that they are also the key ingredient to improving cognitive agility and facilitating quick thinking think of your mind as a vast network of interconnected pathways each representing a memory an experience or a piece of knowledge telling stories essentially activates those pathways it not only makes your message more engaging but also allows you to access information quickly you can think of storytelling as having a library of
• 06:00 - 06:30 anecdotes and examples at your fingertips ready to be deployed at a moment's notice so the next time you find yourself searching for the right word you can fall back on a pre-prepared story to illustrate your point this will make your response faster and more impactful here's how you can leverage the storytelling shortcut to your benefit first identify and craft the trick is to identify a few stories that have clear takeaways now craft these stories into concise and compelling narratives that focuses on the key
• 06:30 - 07:00 details and the emotional impact you want to create second rehearse and refine practice telling these stories aloud pay close attention to your pacing tone and body language focus on refining your delivery until you can tell the story confidently and authentically it should have the power to engage your audience and convey the intended message third contextualize and connect finally when an opportunity arises in conversation adapt one of your stories to fit the context and connect it to the topic at hand this might involve
• 07:00 - 07:30 tweaking the details emphasizing certain aspects or drawing parallels between the story and the current situation let's go back to our example of job interview let's say the interviewer throws you a curveball question like "What's your biggest weakness?" Instead of freezing up or giving a generic answer you could fall back on a pre-rehearsed story about the time you struggled with a specific skill you could tweak it to showcase how you recognized it as a weakness and the steps you took to improve this allows you to respond swiftly and confidently
• 07:30 - 08:00 showcasing your adaptability and quick thinking abilities remember by mastering storytelling shortcut framework you can respond quickly and effectively in almost any conversation now while stories connect us on an emotional level sometimes we need to think on our feet and make rapid connections between ideas that's where the next framework comes in framework three keyword association game the keyword association game is a powerful framework to think on your feet it allows you to make faster connections
• 08:00 - 08:30 between ideas and access information quickly it's like a workout for your brain that strengthens your cognitive flexibility and agility you can also think of it like building a super highway for your thoughts here is how you can use it step one choose a keyword begin by choosing a keyword or phrase this could be anything that comes to mind you could also use a random word generator for inspiration the word could be anything from tree to technology to philosophy the more diverse your keywords the more you'll expand your
• 08:30 - 09:00 mental web step two free associate next quickly list related concepts ideas or memories that come to mind don't overthink it just let your mind flow freely this is like a brainstorming session for your brain that allows you to explore the vast network of associations in your mind step three connecting the dots now look for patterns themes or relationships between the words and ideas you've listed can you group them into categories do any surprising connections emerge this is
• 09:00 - 09:30 where the real magic happens as you begin to see the hidden links between seemingly isolated concepts step four map your mind if you're a visual learner try creating a mind map to represent your associations this can help you visualize the connections between ideas and solidify your understanding step five practice makes perfect remember the more you play this game the faster and more agile your thinking becomes try to make it a daily habit it will keep your mind sharp and flexible and will prepare you to tackle any conversational
• 09:30 - 10:00 challenge the keyword association game is highly effective as it helps with first flexibility it improves your ability to adapt to unexpected turns in a conversation just like a gymnast who can effortlessly adjust their movements in midair you'll be able to navigate conversational shifts with grace and ease second idea generation it not only helps you generate new ideas but also make connections between seemingly unrelated concepts this sparks creative insights as you can now discover hidden
• 10:00 - 10:30 relationships between ideas third information access your ability to quickly access relevant information and knowledge will improve drastically it's like having a mental search engine that can instantly retrieve the information you need right when you need it think of the keyword association game as your secret weapon for navigating conversations with agility and wit imagine you're having a conversation about the future of technology suddenly the topic shifts to the ethical implications of artificial intelligence
• 10:30 - 11:00 if you've been playing the keyword association game your mind might quickly connect AI to concepts like ethics bias job displacement and sentience this allows you to think quickly and contribute effectively to the conversation as you are now in a position to offer insightful observations now let's circle back to our initial example of job interview let's say the interviewer asks you about your experience with teamwork initially you might have scrambled to recall specific examples however after the keyword association game you might
• 11:00 - 11:30 quickly connect teamwork to concepts like collaboration communication conflict resolution and shared goals this allows your brain to respond swiftly and comprehensively remember by regularly playing the keyword association game you're essentially making it easier for yourself to think swiftly respond to unexpected questions in creative and comprehensive ways and ultimately contribute meaningfully to any discussion now that you've mastered the three pre-con conversation
• 11:30 - 12:00 frameworks it's time to move to in conversation thinking frameworks to dodge verbal punches land impactful points and emerge victoriously from any conversational spar chapter 2 in conversation frameworks in this chapter I'll share eight in the- moment tactics that will help you navigate any verbal volley with grace and precision think of them as your secret weapons for thinking fast on your feet by mastering these frameworks you will also be able to express yourself with confidence and clarity during a heated debate a
• 12:00 - 12:30 difficult negotiation or delicate personal conversation framework four pause and paraphrase imagine you're a tight rope walker one wrong step one sudden gust of wind and you could lose your footing conversations can be like that too a hasty response or a misinterpretation and the whole interaction can go off balance that's where the pause and paraphrase framework comes in think of it as your safety net which ensures that you not only stay on the conversational tight rope but also navigate it with grace and precision it
• 12:30 - 13:00 gives you a moment to process information formulate a response and avoid impulsive reactions that could derail the conversation there are two parts to the pause and paraphrase framework first before responding to someone take a moment to pause and breathe just this simple step will give you time to process what is being said and then formulate a thoughtful response this pause even if it's just a couple of seconds can make a world of difference in how you react and respond it allows
• 13:00 - 13:30 you to gather your thoughts access relevant information and choose your words carefully second paraphrase what you've heard to confirm your understanding this shows the other person that you're actively listening and helps prevent misunderstandings paraphrasing also help build rapport and trust this framework is highly effective in both personal and professional conversational settings for example if someone says "I'm feeling overwhelmed by my workload." You might respond with "So it sounds like you're feeling a lot of pressure to get everything done is that
• 13:30 - 14:00 right?" This not only clarifies their message but also shows that you're listening attentively and empathetically similarly it is also effective in personal conflict situations let's say you're having a difficult conversation with a friend or family member instead of interrupting or getting defensive you pause and say "It sounds like you're feeling hurt and frustrated is that right?" This simple act of paraphrasing their emotions can deescalate the situation show empathy and create space for a more productive conversation as
• 14:00 - 14:30 you can see the pause and paraphrase framework can significantly enhance your communication skills by first ensuring that you and the other person are on the same page second clarifying any misunderstandings before they escalate third demonstrating that you're actively listening and that you care about understanding their perspective finally giving you time to think and formulate a more thoughtful and effective response now the pause and paraphrase technique helps you maintain clarity and composure in conversations but what about those
• 14:30 - 15:00 times when emotions run high framework five think feel say have you ever blurted out something you wish you could take back ever let your emotions hijack your responses during a heated conversation the think feel say framework is your emotional intelligence toolkit that allows you to consciously consider your thoughts and feelings before speaking this is especially relevant where a quick but thoughtful response is needed in a conversation there are three stages to this framework stage one think before responding take a
• 15:00 - 15:30 moment to think about what's been said what is the other person's perspective what are the facts of the situation this pause allows you to assess the situation objectively and avoid reacting impulsively stage two feel this is a critical stage where you acknowledge your own emotions evaluate if you are feeling angry hurt defensive or confused this is helpful as by understanding your emotional state you can prevent your emotions from hijacking your response and in turn be more effective in your approach stage three say choose your
• 15:30 - 16:00 words carefully that lets you express your thoughts and feelings in a way that is clear respectful and constructive remember words are free it's how you use them that costs you i first came about this framework when I was quizzing a few senior executives on what it takes to be a good negotiator almost all of them emphasize the power of not only understanding their own emotions but also responding effectively in emotionally charged settings three of the biggest benefits of this framework are first it helps avoid impulsive
• 16:00 - 16:30 reactions by taking a quick moment to think and feel before responding you can avoid saying things you might regret later second it helps communicate more effectively this is the result of being able to understand your own emotions and the other person's perspective during conversations third it helps build stronger relationships this framework enables you to respond thoughtfully and respectfully which creates a foundation for more positive and collaborative interactions let's say you are at work and someone makes a critical comment
• 16:30 - 17:00 this is how you may use the think feels framework to respond first think here you can ask yourself questions like "Okay they're saying that my presentation wasn't clear enough is there any truth to that maybe I could have organized it better or provided more examples." Second acknowledge your feelings by talking to yourself i'm feeling a bit defensive but I also want to understand their perspective and improve my presentation skills finally respond by saying "Thanks for the feedback i appreciate you taking the
• 17:00 - 17:30 time to share your thoughts i'm always looking for ways to improve my presentations so could you elaborate on what specifically wasn't clear as you can see by mastering this framework you can quickly think beyond the knee-jerk reaction in an emotionally charged conversation here are some examples of how you can use the think feel say framework in your own life responding to criticism use it to calm down before responding to a critical comment allowing you to process your emotions and formulate a constructive response
• 17:30 - 18:00 this can help you avoid defensiveness and maintain a professional demeanor expressing disagreement use it to express disagreement respectfully acknowledging the other person's perspective while also asserting your own this can help you navigate disagreements without damaging relationships or creating conflict delivering feedback use it to deliver constructive feedback to a colleague or friend ensuring that your message is clear supportive and focused on growth this can help you provide feedback that is wellreceived and leads to positive
• 18:00 - 18:30 change by incorporating the think feel framework into your communication toolkit you can become a more thoughtful and effective communicator capable of navigating challenging conversations with grace and composure now let me ask you this have you ever been in a conversation where the topic suddenly jumped into uncharted territory leaving you feeling like a deer caught in headlights what do you do in that case the next framework has the answers framework six the bridge the gap framework let's say you're chatting with
• 18:30 - 19:00 a group of friends and the conversation moves towards a topic you're not familiar with like cryptocurrency what do you do in this case chances are you will take a backseat in the conversation or you may admit your ignorance on the topic but what if you don't want to do either of those that's where the bridge the gap framework comes in instead of letting the conversation stall or admitting your ignorance you can quickly build a bridge to a related topic that you do know something about in our example you might say something like
• 19:00 - 19:30 "That's interesting and it reminds me of how the stock market has been performing lately." This allows you to seamlessly transition the conversation to a topic you're more comfortable with demonstrating your knowledge and keeping the conversation flowing smoothly you can use the following strategies to master this bridge the gap framework strategy one expand your knowledge base needless to say the broader your knowledge base the more connections you can make between different topics strategy two develop your mental index
• 19:30 - 20:00 think of your mind as a vast library filled with books articles and memories the idea of a mental index is to organize your knowledge and experiences in a way that allows you to quickly access relevant information two effective ways to do so are first by creating mental categories here you organize your knowledge and experiences into categories and subcategories such as work travel and hobbies second by practicing regular retrieval from memory this strengthens neural connections and makes it easier to access information
• 20:00 - 20:30 quickly strategy three master transition phrases the ideas is to develop a repertoire of bridging phrases that you can use to smoothly transition between topics some examples include that's an interesting point and it reminds me of you can also use speaking of that I was wondering another common transitory phrase is and on a related note the bridge the gap framework can be one of your most powerful tool in your conversational toolkit it's a valuable tool for first thinking on your feet when the conversation takes an
• 20:30 - 21:00 unexpected turn you can quickly find a bridge to a related topic that you are more comfortable with second demonstrating your knowledge by connecting the conversation to something you're familiar with you can showcase your expertise and contribute meaningfully to the discussion third maintaining control by steering the conversation towards familiar territory you can maintain control and avoid feeling flustered or out of your depth the bridge the gap technique helps you navigate unexpected turns in the conversation but what about those
• 21:00 - 21:30 moments when you need a little more time to gather your thoughts framework seven question response question ever been put on the spot with a question that leaves your mind scrambling for an answer the question response question technique is a valuable tool for navigating such situations it helps you buy precious time to think without stalling the conversation the idea is not just about dodging tough questions it's about buying time to formulate a thoughtful response while keeping the conversation
• 21:30 - 22:00 flowing as Thomas Watson famously said "The ability to ask the right question is more than half the battle of finding the answer." Here's how it works in a conversation first step is to acknowledge the question or comment showing that you've heard and understood it this could be a simple that's an interesting question or I understand your concern second step is to ask a clarifying question to gain a deeper understanding of the other person's perspective you could also ask question just to buy yourself some time to think
• 22:00 - 22:30 this could be something like "Could you elaborate on what you mean by that?" or "Can you give me an example?" Third step is to redirect here you follow up with another question to subtly shift the focus or redirect the conversation this could be a related question that allows you to address the topic from a different angle or a broader question that opens up the conversation to other perspectives let's say you are taking Q&A session after your presentation and someone asks you a challenging question this is how you can use question
• 22:30 - 23:00 response question framework to respond first you acknowledge by saying "That's a great question i appreciate you bringing that up." Second you clarify the question further by asking "Could you tell me more about your specific concerns regarding this issue?" Third you then redirect by saying "And how do you think this issue might affect the industry as a whole?" The benefits of applying the question response question framework one you buy time to think the clarifying question gives you a moment to gather your thoughts and formulate a response two you get to clarify the
• 23:00 - 23:30 other person's perspective and gain a deeper understanding of their concerns and motivations three you keep the conversation flowing while maintaining engagement and avoiding awkward silences four meanwhile you maintain control by steering the conversation in a direction that is more comfortable or productive for you remember the question response question framework trains you to think fast and respond effectively in the heat of the moment framework eight the reframing technique have you ever been
• 23:30 - 24:00 in a conversation where someone throws an off-putting criticism at you it is like getting hit with a verbal sucker punch that can leave you flustered and defensive but what if you could gracefully deflect the criticism and even turn it into opportunities for growth connection and even influence that's the power of this framework now you may be thinking isn't this similar to the bridge the gap framework we discussed earlier after all we are talking about changing the subject here as well well not exactly while bridge the gap helps you smoothly transition to
• 24:00 - 24:30 a different topic reframing is about shifting the perspective within the same topic it's like turning a negative comment into a positive or a challenge into an opportunity here's how you can master this framework step one identify the challenge when faced with a negative comment take a moment to identify the underlying issue or concern find out what the real message behind the words is what is the speaker trying to achieve step two shift perspective the next step is to reinterpret the situation in a
• 24:30 - 25:00 more positive or constructive light by doing so you will be able to focus on the potential benefits or finding common ground step three communicate the reframe next express your reinterpretation in a clear and concise way using language that is collaborative step four redirect the conversation finally use the reframe to redirect the conversation towards a more productive or constructive area here's an example of how the reframing framework can be used in a professional setting let's say you're presenting your proposal and a
• 25:00 - 25:30 colleague criticizes it in front of the group by saying something like "I don't think this approach will work it's too risky." By leveraging the reframing framework you can give a positive spin to this criticism so instead of getting defensive you could respond quickly by saying "I appreciate your concern that's a valid point and it's something we need to consider carefully." You can then go ahead and reframe the criticism by saying "However I also believe this approach has the potential to generate significant rewards if we can mitigate
• 25:30 - 26:00 the risks effectively perhaps we could discuss some risk avoidance strategies." As you can see this framework not only eliminates defensiveness but also helps reframe your colleagues concerns into an opportunity for collaboration now the reframing framework helps you turn challenges into opportunities but sometimes a touch of humor can be the most effective way to diffuse tension or deflect a difficult question framework nine the humor as a deflector technique have you ever faced a question you'd rather dodge than answer directly or
• 26:00 - 26:30 maybe a conversation is getting a bit too heated for comfort more often than not it perturbs you and that can stall the conversation creating awkward silences or even escalating into an argument but what if you could gracefully navigate those tricky situations with a touch of humor in comes the humor as a deflector framework that lets you gracefully handle those awkward or tense moments we've all encountered those awkward moments when someone asks a prying question we'd rather avoid instead of fumbling through
• 26:30 - 27:00 a vague answer or drawing a hard boundary try deflecting with humor a light-hearted response like "Well that's a story for another time preferably over a strong cocktail," can diffuse the tension and allow you to gracefully sidestep the question without seeming rude or dismissive i have personally used this technique during contract negotiations where the other party was being overly aggressive i love using humor to deescalate tension by saying something like "Wow you're really good at this are you sure you weren't a lawyer in the past like all the other
• 27:00 - 27:30 frameworks discussed here the humor as a deflector framework helps you think on your feet and allows you to leverage humor to also buy time to formulate any further responses however there is a potential flip side to this framework if you use humor that is offensive insensitive or inappropriate for the context now humor can be a great way to deflect unwanted questions or lighten the mood but sometimes you need a more subtle tool to quickly navigate through the conversational turns framework 10
• 27:30 - 28:00 bridging phrases toolkit think of this framework as a close cousin to the bridge the gap and the reframing frameworks discussed earlier however this is a broader framework encompassing various types of phrases that equip you to smoothly navigate unexpected twists and turns in conversations ensuring that your interactions are seamless and engaging now how do you build your own bridging phrases toolkit first you need to identify the common conversational turns these are those recurring moments where you need to change direction these
• 28:00 - 28:30 may be times when the conversation veers off topic or someone goes on a tangent or you want to introduce a new idea or maybe you need a moment to gather your thoughts before responding once you've identified those conversational terms it's time to craft your personalized phrases that feel natural to you the trick is that they fit your communication style and resonates with your audience for example if you want to change the subject you might say something like "That's an interesting point and it reminds me of or speaking
• 28:30 - 29:00 of that I was wondering." Or if you want to redirect the conversation you could say "Going back to what you said earlier." Or "I think it's important to also consider." And if you want to add your own perspective you might say "Building on what you said." Or "I see it slightly differently." And sometimes you just need a moment to think in those situations you can use phrases like "That's a great question let me think about that for a moment." Or "I'm glad you brought that up it's something I've been considering as well." The key is to
• 29:00 - 29:30 practice using these phrases in different conversations remember the more you use them the more natural they will become and the more effective you'll be now remember mastering the bridging phrases toolkit is like having a secret conversational toolkit that allows you to navigate unexpected turns while keeping the conversation flowing smoothly now while words are the building blocks of conversation our bodies speak a language of their own framework 11 observing body language now you might be thinking "Hold on a minute
• 29:30 - 30:00 how is observing body language going to help me think faster isn't that more about reading people?" Well think of body language as your secret communication channel providing real-time feedback on how your message is being received by other person have you ever watched old Charlie Chaplan movies they had no spoken words but you still got the story from the actors facial expressions body language and interactions with each other a similar phenomenon happens during conversations being tuned to the non-verbal cues of
• 30:00 - 30:30 the other person helps you to anticipate their reactions and adjust your responses accordingly often before they even speak this real-time feedback loop keeps you agile in the conversation and maintain control of the interaction now you don't necessarily need to be Sherlock Holmes to read the non-verbal cues you can do so by developing a keener awareness of the non-verbal signals that people send unconsciously let's start with the basics on how to do it first facial expressions the face is
• 30:30 - 31:00 a mirror of the mind a smile a frown a furrowed brow or a raised eyebrow can speak volumes about someone's emotions and intentions pay close attention to those micro expressions those fleeting glimpses of emotion that might flash across someone's face in a split second they often reveal hidden feelings or reactions that might not be expressed verbally for example imagine you're giving a presentation and you notice a member of the audience with a furrowed brow and pursed lips this might indicate that they're confused or disagree with
• 31:00 - 31:30 something you've said by recognizing this cue you can quickly adjust your approach and perhaps provide more clarification or address their concerns directly second posture how someone carries themselves can be a telltale sign of their confidence engagement and attitude maybe they are leaning in which generally suggests interest and attentiveness or maybe they are leaning back which indicates disinterest or discomfort similarly is their posture open and inviting or is it closed and defensive think about it when you're
• 31:30 - 32:00 feeling confident and engaged you tend to stand tall make eye contact and use open gestures but when you're feeling insecure or defensive you might slouch avoid eye contact or cross your arms now by observing these subtle postural cues in others you can gain valuable insights and adjust your communication accordingly third gestures i think you would agree if I say that our hands are like extensions of our thoughts and emotions hand movements fidgeting or even the way someone holds their arms can provide clues about their underlying
• 32:00 - 32:30 feelings and intentions are their gestures expansive and animated suggesting enthusiasm and confidence or are they restrained and hesitant indicating nervousness or insecurity by recognizing these cues you can adjust your approach to put them at ease and create a more comfortable and supportive environment fourth eye contact in my opinion eye contact is one of the most powerful tools for effective communication it can convey confidence trust and engagement in general
• 32:30 - 33:00 maintaining comfortable eye contact shows interest and attentiveness while avoiding eye contact might indicate discomfort disinterest or even deception but be mindful of cultural differences as some cultures might consider prolonged eye contact to be rude or disrespectful remember mastering the art of reading body language can significantly enhance your conversational agility allowing you to respond to unspoken cues and navigate social dynamics with greater ease and effectiveness it allows you to build rapport detect deception anticipate
• 33:00 - 33:30 reactions and navigate conflict quickly and often without spoken words now that you have mastered in conversation frameworks it is time to build a feedback loop that builds you into a conversational ninja chapter 3 post-con conversation reflection socrates famously said "The unexamined life is not worth living." Just as an athletes review game footage to improve their performance reflecting on your conversations can help you identify your areas for improvement think of postcon conversation reflection as watching the
• 33:30 - 34:00 game film in this chapter I will share a powerful review and reflect framework to help think fast in conversations framework 12 conversation replay analyzing past conversations is a powerful way to identify patterns and responding more effectively in the moment the conversation replay framework is like having a rewind button for your conversations it allows you to review your performance and improve your game so why is this so effective well first of all it helps you become more aware of yourself as a communicator you start to
• 34:00 - 34:30 notice your habits your strengths and your weaknesses it's like holding a mirror up to your communication style second it helps you recognize patterns in your conversations do you tend to interrupt others do you get defensive when challenged do you struggle to express your ideas clearly by analyzing your conversations you can identify these patterns and start to address them third it helps you improve your strategies you can evaluate what worked well in a conversation and what didn't this allows you to refine your approach
• 34:30 - 35:00 and develop more effective communication techniques and finally it increases your agility by learning from your past experiences you can anticipate potential challenges and prepare more effectively for future conversations so how do you actually use the conversation replay framework it's simple after a conversation take some time to record your reflections this could involve writing in a journal recording a voice memo or even just mentally reviewing the conversation then ask yourself some key questions what were the main topics
• 35:00 - 35:30 discussed how did I feel during the conversation what were my communication goals and did I achieve them were there any misunderstandings or missed opportunities what could I have done differently by analyzing your conversations in this way you can identify patterns develop strategies and become a more agile and effective communicator for example imagine you recently had a job interview after the interview use the conversation replay technique to reflect on your performance ask yourself questions like "Did I
• 35:30 - 36:00 answer the questions clearly and concisely were there any questions that I struggled to answer did I build rapport with the interviewer and how could I have improved my responses?" By analyzing your performance in this manner you can identify areas for improvement and level up your interviewing skills there you have it 12 frameworks that helps you develop uncanny ability to think on your feet and respond effectively in any situation now check out this video to learn about the habit that can radically change your life without the pressure of chasing
• 36:00 - 36:30 goals and outcomes