Modesty, DPDR, and Conviction ft Amoyea Hassan | SavedNotSoftPodcast

Summary

The latest episode of Saved Not Soft Podcast, featuring guest Amoyea Hassan, dives deep into issues of faith, friendship, and personal growth. The episode explores how Emmy Moore, the host, and Amoyea Hassan have cultivated a spiritual friendship filled with mutual support and divine interventions. They discuss topics like modesty, generational struggles, depersonalization-derealization disorder (DPDR), and how prayer and faith can guide one through complex life challenges. The conversation is both authentic and spiritually enriching, with a strong emphasis on God's role as a fatherly figure and the importance of having a supportive community.

Highlights

• Amoyea shares how she and Emmy became fast friends through shared faith and struggles with DPDR, finding solace in each other. 🤗
• They delve into a candid conversation about modesty, revealing personal journeys and mutual prayers that shaped their views. 🙏
• The duo recounts spiritual growth and love for God, leading to lifestyle changes like forsaking certain music genres. 🎶
• Their discussion touches on God's role as a Father and the power of feeling understood by Him when earthly fathers may fail. 🌟
• With humor and depth, Emmy and Amoyea navigate cultural differences and shared life experiences to reinforce their spiritual connection. 😂

Key Takeaways

• The power of friendship in the faith journey. Finding a friend who sharpens and supports you is a true blessing! 👯‍♀️
• Modesty isn't just about clothes; it's about reflecting God's love. Dress like you're already loved! 👗
• DPDR can be isolating, but leaning on God and community helps lighten the load. You're not alone! 💪
• God is the ultimate Father. Rediscovering Him as such fills the deepest voids. 👨‍👧
• Childlike faith isn't immature faith; it's about trust and curiosity in God. Keep asking questions! 🧒

Overview

In this heartwarming episode, Emmy and her guest, Amoyea Hassan, delve into a tapestry of life's poignant moments and encounters with faith. Their friendship, forged in shared experiences and spiritual struggles, becomes the focal point of exploration. They joyfully recount how distance never diminished their bond, emphasizing that a strong complementary friendship can bridge any gap—literally from California to New York.

The conversation transitions to deeper waters where personal struggles like DPDR are unveiled. Emmy's and Amoyea’s testimonies highlight how each found peace and reassurance through shared understanding and the steadfastness of God’s presence in their lives. Their testimonies are engaging, offering relatable insights into battling inner turmoil through faith and friendship.

The episode eloquently concludes with reflections on modesty, the pursuit of holiness, and recognizing God as the ultimate Father. Amoyea and Emmy lead the listeners on a journey of renewal, demonstrating the transformative power of Christ-like friendships and the profound peace found in embracing God as a loving father.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 01:30: Welcome and Introduction The chapter begins with a warm and enthusiastic welcome from the host, Emmy Moore, of the 'Saved Not Soft' podcast. Emmy expresses excitement for the episode, noting that it's particularly special. Emmy introduces herself and reiterates the podcast's mission - to let listeners know they are heard, seen, and loved through Christ. The welcoming nature sets a positive tone for the episode.
• 01:30 - 06:30: Guest Introduction and Friendship In this chapter titled 'Guest Introduction and Friendship', the host introduces a special guest, Miss Amoy Han. The discussion highlights a recurring theme in the podcast series, focusing on friendship and the importance of acknowledging guest speakers. Previous guest Clarissa is also mentioned, emphasizing a pattern in the host's recent guest choices. The chapter touches on core values like giving Jesus glory, setting the tone for the episode.
• 06:30 - 13:00: DPDR and Personal Battles The chapter discusses ongoing conversations about personal growth and ambitions between two long-time acquaintances. They reflect on how they have been planning and talking about various projects, including the podcast, since they first met. The narrative emphasizes gratitude and fulfillment derived from seeing these plans come to fruition. They also mention a bachelorette event that was recently celebrated and deemed spectacular.
• 13:00 - 21:00: Modesty and Conviction This chapter captures a heartfelt conversation between two friends who have managed to sustain a deep connection despite geographical distances. The chapter highlights the importance of making time for each other and cherishing moments together. The narrator mentions the historical significance of their interaction, emphasizing the joy of being physically present after long periods apart. Despite seeing each other only four times in person over the years they have been friends, the bond remains strong. Their story illustrates friendship's power to withstand time and distance.
• 21:00 - 30:00: Secular Music and Convictions The chapter begins with a character describing their move from Brooklyn, New York, to a rural area in the middle country of Cali, experiencing a significant culture shock. Accustomed to the bustling urban life with tall buildings and corner stores on every block, the narrator struggles with the new setting where driving seems necessary to reach any destination. The initial disbelief and adjustment challenges are captured as the narrator's friend, Emmy, receives expressions of surprise regarding the new environment.
• 30:00 - 40:00: Purpose and Ministry The chapter titled 'Purpose and Ministry' discusses the differences in lifestyle between living in more congested urban areas like LA and other places. It highlights the cultural contrasts and the difficulties of everyday activities such as going to the grocery store. The speakers describe their close friendship as being akin to yin and yang, emphasizing the deep connection and gratitude they feel for one another. They express how their relationship is divinely ordained, referring to their meeting as a result of mutual prayer. The chapter emphasizes the importance of friendship and spiritual bonds in their lives.
• 40:00 - 53:00: Fatherhood and God's Love This chapter describes a period in the author's life during 2021 when they were in a very dark place, having just accepted Christ into their life. Despite having friends, they felt lonely and misunderstood, specifically regarding the struggles they faced in their spiritual journey. The author shares a poignant moment where they reached out to God, seeking confirmation and reassurance about their experiences, notably mentioning DPDR, which suggests a challenging mental or emotional state.
• 53:00 - 60:00: Childlike Faith and Maturity The chapter explores the theme of anxiety and the feeling of isolation that often accompanies it. The author shares a personal experience of feeling tormented by anxiety and searching for reassurance from God to affirm their sanity. They highlight how the enemy seeks to make individuals feel uniquely afflicted. However, the narrative takes a positive turn when the author, through prayer and divine intervention, meets a friend who helps in their journey, illustrating the power of faith and community in overcoming isolation and mental battles.
• 60:00 - 70:00: Friendship and Accountability The chapter titled 'Friendship and Accountability' discusses the importance of having someone who understands and supports you during challenging times. The narrative centers around the narrator's feelings of isolation and fear of being judged as crazy, which led them to keep their struggles to themselves. They prayed for someone who would understand them, and at a crucial moment, they met someone who did just that. This relationship allowed them to have a candid and supportive exchange, sharing their true selves with each other, marking a significant turning point in their lives.
• 70:00 - 77:00: Reflection and Farewell In this emotional final chapter, the speaker reflects on a profound connection with someone, expressing a deep understanding that transcends words. They share how this relationship is unique compared to others, as this person can understand and empathize with them without the need for explanations. The chapter emphasizes the significance of finding someone who 'just gets it' and the rarity of such a bond. Such genuine connections are marked as valuable, stirring a sense of gratitude and poignancy as the story concludes.

Modesty, DPDR, and Conviction ft Amoyea Hassan | SavedNotSoftPodcast Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 Hello. Hello everyone and welcome back to Saved Not Soft. What's going on everybody? Y'all, I'm so excited. I say that every episode, but it is because I'm really excited. And today is going to be such a special episode. First, before I get into who's sitting here to the very right of me, if you don't know who I am, my name is Emmy Moore. I'm the host of Save Not Soft podcast. And this podcast is to let you know you're heard, seen in love through Christ. Okay? Yada
• 00:30 - 01:00 yada yada yada. That is basically the pivotal message of this entire podcast. And Jesus at the core gets all the glory. Amen. Today I have a very special guest here with me today. And I feel like this is kind of a cycle of guests I've been having on my pause. We had Clarissa three to four episodes ago. And I brought on my other bestie, Miss Amoy. Han. Hey girl. What's up? Uh, this is a pleasure. Yeah, this is beautiful. This
• 01:00 - 01:30 is And it's something we've been talking about for years. For a long very long time. Long time. Yeah. Maybe possibly since the first time we met. Yeah. Like even seeing you do this podcast and everything like this was this been in the works. It's been talked about. So to be on here is literally this is glory. This is a pleasure and I'm so appreciative. No, thank God. We thank God. So, Amoy is from New York and she's down right now because I just had my bachelorette. Freaking spectacular. The best. It was
• 01:30 - 02:00 It's going down in history. That's all I got to say. It was the best thing ever. No. And so, she's been staying here with me. All the girls went back home, but she stayed here for an extra few days. And so, we were like, you know, definitely got to get a podcast in. And so, we're here. And it's so great cuz this is the fourth time we've been in person. Yes. Which is crazy that it's been that low. Yeah. Because we've talked every single day for the past 4 to 5 years. So it doesn't even feel like this is our best friends. Yes. Like Cali all the way
• 02:00 - 02:30 to New York. Brooklyn to be exact. Born and raised. Born and raised. And I'm Cali in the middle of the country. Culture shock. Complete culture shock. I came here. I was like, Emmy, where you got me? Right. Or even you would look at my location be like, do you live in the middle of nowhere? Literally like on Apple just looks like she's in the middle of absolute nowhere. And I'm used to the tall buildings, the corner store on every single block here. It's like you got to drive to get anywhere. Yeah. But everything's pretty
• 02:30 - 03:00 close where I'm at versus if I was in like LA, it takes you 30 minutes just to get to a grocery store because of all the traffic. So it is like completely different cultures. But we always say that kind of we're yin and yang. Yeah. Literally. This is my twin. This is my other half on the other side of Literally. We thank God for this friendship. Yeah. No, we really thank God. And I think something when we always talk about each other in our friendship is we prayed each other into our lives. Literally, I remember guys, like this this woman right here, she's a walking prayer point into my life. Um I
• 03:00 - 03:30 was in a really really dark place. Um that was when was that? 2021. Yeah, 2021. And um I just kind of accepted Christ into my life at that time. But um I was pretty lonely. I didn't have I had friends, but I felt like I didn't have people in my life who truly understood the battles that I was experiencing in Christ. And I remember I just cried out to God one night and I was saying to him, I was just like, "Lord, like, I need to know that I'm not crazy. I need to know what I'm experiencing," which was the DPDR. Um, and just severe
• 03:30 - 04:00 anxiety and just a bunch of mind torment. And I was like, "God, I need to know that I am not crazy." So, I just felt very, very alone. That's what the enemy tries to do to you. always tries to make you feel like you're the only person that's going through um what you're battling. And I can say probably like a week or two weeks later, I'm introduced by one of our a friend. Yeah, a friend. We're just going to keep it a friend. Yeah, just a friend. But it's it's wild though because that was my same prayer point is there was a lot of
• 04:00 - 04:30 things that I was going through where I was like, God, I feel absolutely insane and I don't know who to talk to about this because I don't want to I don't know. I think people are going to think I'm crazy if I were to ever say anything like this. And so I kept it to myself, but I would pray out to God in my secret space and also in my heart. Lord, just send me someone who would understand. And so we came into each other's lives at the most pivotal point. And I will never forget when we had that conversation of, hey, this is me. And you're like, this is me. And I'm
• 04:30 - 05:00 like, oh, we actually struggle with the same exact thing. Even weird stuff like down to the core. Mhm. of there's even some things where I'm just feeling a certain way and I start to explain myself and you'll finish my sentence. I'm like, "Oh, you just get it. You just get it. Just complete the sentence." Yeah. You just get it. And and and I don't have to overexlain myself or make you understand. You just get it. Which is something I've never had with any of my friendships is there's just a part of me you get that nobody else just gets.
• 05:00 - 05:30 Yeah. Yeah, we understand like everybody like all of our friends are in our life for a specific reason and for a specific purpose, but I feel like you're one of those friends that has have been in my life like so that I do not feel alone. Like your presence lets me know like I said is that like I'm not going crazy and that I'm not alone in what in the things that I've been dealing with. So we thank God. Yeah. Yeah. I think also that remembrance and knowing that you're not alone and having a physical friend show you, hey, I understand and I
• 05:30 - 06:00 empathize with you and I'm here with you gives a bigger testament to God because if a human could understand me, how much more could God understand me? And so I believe our friendship has always just reminded me of like, wow, there is somebody else with a similar story, if not maybe the same exact story as me, but simultaneously there's a God who understands and deals with these types of situations. And going on this road not alone is so refreshing because we could sharpen each other and support one another in ways that maybe not other people could. You are truly my iron.
• 06:00 - 06:30 Yeah. Like I always say like iron truly sharpens iron. But in order for you to uh have a friend who is iron, you need to be iron yourself. And I felt like even before I met you, I went through a season, like I said, I was completely lonely. Um I went through this season of having absolutely no friends. Like God stripped me. All my worldly friends were completely gone. I had no worldly friends. And then um I came into Christ and I felt like I was building friendships, but like I said, I didn't have anyone who understood me. But in that time, God was pruning me. So like
• 06:30 - 07:00 there was things about me that God was like taking out of me, which was like bad character, nasty attitude, um and not being patient, all these things. And God was creating me, making me that iron to be your iron. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Um, you were my iron that was actually plugged in because I believe there's some people actually plugged in. I got because I think cuz I think there are some people who I thought was an iron to my life, but they had no heat to them. So, they couldn't actually iron me out and keep me from making creases again. And so, you were
• 07:00 - 07:30 actually an iron in my life that was plugged into an outlet. And that outlet was the Lord. And um, I didn't even think about this till right now. I remember the first time you actually straightened me out. Wait, wait, when? So wait, no, no one knows this. Like I haven't told anybody this. So there was something I was struggling with in the beginning of my walk that a lot of people would criticize me on. And I was never receptive to it. You look confused, but I'm going to tell you. Yeah. And I was never receptive to it because the heart behind of what these
• 07:30 - 08:00 people were saying was to wound me. But you came to me so gently. Wow. And the topic was modesty. I remember that conversation. So, when I first met Amoy, I was still posting Instagram photos and Tik Toks, not wearing the nicest clothes. It's okay. It's all good. You still We've all been there. We've all been there. We've all been there. I've been there. We've all been there. And I had a lot of people in my comment sections because I was just coming to Christ. I was brand new and I'm still learning all these things.
• 08:00 - 08:30 Yeah. And there's grace to learn. And this is before my podcast starts, like way before. And there's a grace to, you know, learn these things and to go down that road and etc. And I remember every time someone would comment to me about like modesty or you need to wear this in order to be a Christian, it made me want to rebel more and not even be like screw you. I can wear whatever I want. D all these things and completely be in rebellion and opposition. And so I remember we were on FaceTime one day and you I remember you prayed over the situation for over the conversation. We
• 08:30 - 09:00 just prayed and you said, "Amy, I'm going to bring something to you because I love you and I say this in love." What you were wearing is not representing how much Jesus loves you. Yeah. Like it it wasn't like, "Hey, you're doing this and it's wrong." It's, "Hey, like this isn't mimicking the love of God." God. Yeah. And the image. The image. And that made me look at it differently. And then also the relatability that you had as well. She sent me like 20 pictures. I've 20 pictures of me before Christ. Yeah. Yeah, my bathing suit picture was
• 09:00 - 09:30 bugging, right? And you told me, you were like, I'm sending this to you cuz I also want you to know I've been there and I don't want you want you to think I'm a hypocrite. And honestly, that's what drove me into rebellion in the first place was because all the people who are commenting under my stuff, I go to the profile picture and you're wearing a sports bra or you're wearing a bathing suit or you're wearing something also immodest. And it's like, why are you telling me, oh, you're a Christian and you wearing this and you immodest and you wearing the same thing. And so it would really irritate me. And so that relatability of, you know, I used to
• 09:30 - 10:00 dress this way, but once the Lord started convicting my heart of this isn't glorifying the kingdom, I started change the way that I dress. And you spoke to my heart because you came with such gentleness. It reminds me of Galatians 6:1 where it says, "Brothers and sisters, judge one another gently. Restore one another gently." And I think people think, "Oh, I could judge and I could restore." But they don't know the characteristic that comes with that word, which is gently. Mhm. I think one of the things when it comes to gentleness is also being very transparent. That's something that I
• 10:00 - 10:30 vocalize a lot um in your walk with Christ because you have a lot of people who are hypocrites and when you find someone who can be 100% transparent with you, it makes you want to open up more. So like that gentleness is allowing yourself to be transparent in your testimony and say like, "I've been there before. I've done that before." Um and I can say honestly doing that has even allowed me to like bring more people into Christ. I've seen people who walk away and they
• 10:30 - 11:00 a people not being gentle or people not being transparent. But the more you're transparent, the more souls you can bring into Christ. Amen. Yeah. And it limits you and repels shame because Psalms 34:5 says that those who look to the Lord, their faces are radiant and they're never filled with shame because your face is quite literally fully litten up. And so what happened in that moment is that when you came to sharpen me, you just shifted my perspective and my direction to where I was no longer
• 11:00 - 11:30 covered by shadows, but I was looking in the allshining grace and glory of God. And when you see things in a God perspective, and you have people who lead you that position, your heart is then able to be developed and transformed to where I was like, "Oh, this is the first time where it actually convicted me." Because God's love entered the chat. It wasn't his anger or his wrath. It was his love. Love. Yeah. And I even had like like you mentioned I I love that you mentioned that I prayed I even kind of forgot that I prayed on the phone cuz I even I even prayed before I told you. So like throughout
• 11:30 - 12:00 that whole week it was a burden that God was placing on on my heart. And um you got to be careful you know how you uh speak to your friends or your brothers and sisters in Christ and like you know judge them. Judge them with gentleness and with love. Um but yeah I pray to God for that entirely like God how am I going to say this to Emmy? How am I going to say this to Emmy? cuz I know modesty is that topic when it comes to us women and um being transparent with each other about how we look and um representing Christ as women of God and it's not an easy thing. It had it was not an easy thing especially like the
• 12:00 - 12:30 transition of leaving the world and trying to find out what's okay because the issue was a lot of people also press their convictions on to you. A lot of people press their modest modesty convictions on to you. So just because you wear a dress down to your ankles and God told you to do that doesn't mean that I have to do that, you know, and a lot of people like when it comes to modesty, you're worried about your outer appearance like the Bible says, right? But you're not worried about the heart. And I feel like when it came to me being modest, God corrected
• 12:30 - 13:00 my heart before he corrected my outer appearance. And people will also judge you when they're dealing with the same thing. M. So people will call you out on modesty or people will call you out on whatever it could be, sexual immorality, clubbing, socializing, whatever it may be, and they're doing the same thing. So I think that accountability, take the log out your eye, take the log out of your eye before you try to remove a speck out of somebody else's. And I think that's an important part of accountability. And you're one of the
• 13:00 - 13:30 only people in my life who's actually held with that responsibility to hold me accountable because you're close enough to the tree to see the fruit. I'm laughing. Remember the future concert? Oh god. We can bring it up because I'm I'm passive. Oh my gosh. It was the first time. One thing that I always say is like if it if it hasn't been tested in your life, it's not yours. And one thing I could say is that this friendship has been tested. That was the first test of our friendship. Um, it was our first
• 13:30 - 14:00 small little argument. Like, we were mad at each other. That was so rare. Like, that never happened. But I believe that was the test of our friendship. So, long story short, you want to tell? You want me to tell? Well, my thing is is that I don't even remember being that mad. I wasn't really mad. I think you were you were more mad because you saw I was walking wrongly. I was like, I don't give a damn what she's saying. I'm still going to show up to these future. Yes. Okay. Hey, wait. Let me let me first explain the future thing because people if people don't know me, they're not going to understand like this conviction I have around future and rap music, my
• 14:00 - 14:30 relationship and stuff. And so, okay, basically, ever since I was a little girl, I've always been listening to rap music. My dad gave me like a iPod Shuffle and had Dr. Dre, that 2001 album all throughout it. So, whenever I was like six, seven years old, I've always been listening to rap music. So, as I'm growing older, I'm like listening to more and more and more. And then I hear that layup by Future. Oh my gosh. I think I heard that in middle school and I was like, I love this dude. I love how he sounds. I love the beats, Zoven, all
• 14:30 - 15:00 of it. Right. So through middle school all the way to high school and even college years. I wasn't in college, but those same years, I was a huge Future fan. And even when I first came to Christ, I was a future fan probably two years in me being into Christ. And so you met me the first year of me being into Christ. And this is like the second year uh when I decided, oh man, this just I hate that I did this because you tried to warn me and then like now I'm here testifying about it. So here's my here's my lick
• 15:00 - 15:30 back, I guess. Um but I decided so stupid. I decided to go to a future concert by myself in Oakland. And if y'all are not from California and you do not know where Oakland is, that's probably the worst place for a girl like me to go. And the crazy part is I didn't even know what Oakland was. The only thing I saw was Future. So I I didn't even know about the Oakland part. Yeah, I I drove by myself. I went by myself.
• 15:30 - 16:00 It was an Oakland. Like what's one of like what's the worst city in New York? Oh, they'll get so mad at me for saying this. Well, the Bronx. Okay. What's like the one like right under that? um under the Bronx. I mean there's places in Brooklyn like you got like the Vil, Crown Heights. So I would say because I would argue that the worst place in all of Cali is like Stockton area like up in the Bay and I would I would say that Oakland is like the neighbor of that. So um that's where I
• 16:00 - 16:30 was by myself too. And you know, I was pretty settled on going to this concert and I told her and she was not having it as you should because now that I I moved past it, I'm like, "Dang." And I feel like one thing that I realized is that like when you're not supposed to do something or when you're tempted to do something, God always makes a way out. Yeah. And her way out was the fact that she had no one to go with. She had she was posting, "Anyone want to come with me to this future concert?" And I went by myself. I did go by myself. I'm like, God is literally
• 16:30 - 17:00 telling this girl that she should not go cuz she has no one to go with. And the girl still got up and went. Yeah, that was crazy disobedient. Crazy disobedient. And so much happened, too. So, I go to this concert. Whoopde-doo whoopde-doo. And then, and you had a following at this moment, too. That was the biggest thing for me. Yeah. Yeah. You had like women who started kind of looking up to you with your walk with Jesus at this point. Yeah. And look at me acting stupid. Like, it's I admit it. I accept it. I was wrong. I know I was
• 17:00 - 17:30 so wrong. You know, I've repented so many times after that. But let me tell you where I got clocked. So about two months later, so this was a really fast turnaround. I'm praying over like secular music because it just starts one day just starts rubbing me wrong. It was just one day where it just starts rubbing me wrong. And I'm like, uh, God, I'm going to pray about this because, you know, I still like my my future and my metro booming and Bryson Tiller and all this stuff. And then um I was like, I don't know, Lord. And I was in San Francisco, so again, the Bay Area, and I
• 17:30 - 18:00 was listening to uh a basement podcast with Tim Ross and Jackie Hill Perry. Oh, wow. And they were talking about secular music. And so Jackie Hill Perry was talking about her struggles of listening to Beyonce while she was still a Christian. Like supporting Beyonce while she was still a Christian. Oh wow. And so I was like this, see, transparency, right? And I was like, this resonates with me because that's how I feel about Future. But here's the thing. I think Future way worse than Beyonce because Future Future is like diabolical, very toxic
• 18:00 - 18:30 and so very toxic. And I was just like, okay, like I'm resonating with her and she was she was sharing her testimony and she just kind of gave a challenge to everybody. She was like, if you listen to secular music, if you listen to artists that are not godly, I would just encourage you to take a secular music fast for about 30 days. And she said, I bet you'll never listen to secular music ever again. And so that kind of caught my attention. And I was like, m, okay, maybe. And then Tim Ross says this right after Jackie Hill Perry says that. He says, "Yeah, I totally agree with that."
• 18:30 - 19:00 He's like, you know, if you listen to secular artist, take a fast for 30 days. I bet you won't listen to it again. He's like, I don't even care if the artist's future. Oh, I was I remember exactly where I was when he said that. And I was like, "Oh, that was Jesus talking to me." Like that was God telling me like, "Hey, I had to say the name. I had to send you these people and now you got to change your life around." And so this is about like two and a half, possibly three years ago. And from that day, I
• 19:00 - 19:30 have not listened to a single future song since. Glory. Wow. And on top of that, I did the 30-day secular music fast, and I haven't listened to secular music since then. Wow. Which also let me say there's a difference between secular music and profane music because profane is exactly what future was about to do this to the girl and do theoop that's that's all him. Um but secular music could be anything that just basically doesn't glorify God or
• 19:30 - 20:00 speaks about God. Happy happy birthday is a secular song. That's very happy birthday to you. Yeah that's so there there is a difference. I mean, I've listened to like happy joyful songs, but I've never listened to a song that has openly been deburuerous since then. And so, yeah, just many testimony, but we don't listen to him no more. But sometimes when I think about it, I'll pray for future instead. If I get tempted, I'll pray for him. I know that sounds really interesting, but I'll literally pray for future. Yeah. Because
• 20:00 - 20:30 I'm like, I used to love him so much when I was in the world, and I think as a Christian, I should love him more. Yeah. Now, you know, if he gives his life to Christ, the prayers was being sent by Emmy. Yeah. No, because if if I would have got temped, I was like, "Oh, let me just like pray for him right now." Yeah. And I would hopefully they register one day, right? That's my hope. If he gives his life to Christ, there's a lot of celebrities who need to give their lives to Christ. But, but you kind of like see that too now. There is this like chain reaction of some celebrities like coming forward and proclaiming Christ. People with platforms, we see it a lot. I think it's
• 20:30 - 21:00 really people realizing that is this emptiness that's inside of them. Like you've you got the money, you've got the following, you've got the attention, you got the fancy clothes, you you got everything that you want, but there's still an emptiness that's inside of you. And that emptiness is the fact that you do not have Christ. You know, um one of the worst things that you can realize in your life is when you become successful, but you're not fulfilled. And I see a lot of people, that's why you see billionaires and millionaires committing suicide. You can have all the money in
• 21:00 - 21:30 the world. You're successful, but there's no fulfillment inside of you. Can you imagine reaching that place in your life where you have everything, but you still feel empty? Yeah. Jesus fills every single ounce of emptiness in your heart. And he's satisfying. I think that's one thing I always admire Jesus of is yes, you're fulfilling, but you're also simultaneously satisfying and you stick with me. You don't leave and you don't just check in and out. Like you stay with me and you fulfill me in every single need. And I think people could chase all the platforms and all the fame and all the money and all the Instagram
• 21:30 - 22:00 followers and all the opportunities, but without that foundation, you're building something off of sand and you're always going to sink to the bottom. But the gorgeous part of that is is that sometimes God will let you hit rock bottom so you figure out that he's the rock. Yep. And so that sand could be grace for a little bit because God will let you okay built that house on that sand right back down to the bottom. Yep. Uh, one quote that I heard that changed kind of my perception of the beauty of
• 22:00 - 22:30 the bottom, I guess, is a man who stays on the floor can never fall from that position. So, if I'm on the ground, I if I'm already if my face is on the ground, if my hands is on the ground, if everything is already at the altar laid flat, nothing can fall from there. Nothing. It's already at the bottom. It's already at the bottom. And so I think that's where a lot of things catastrophic happens in the faith is people are jumping from these really big platforms
• 22:30 - 23:00 and they're failing to just get at the feet. Yeah. It's also because they actually don't know Christ. Facts they don't know Christ. Some people have been starting a lot of platforms prematurely. That's that's another thing as well too. Like some people they experience Christ. Um they've had like a supernatural experience but they don't really know who Jesus is. they haven't went through their pruning season with Christ and um they start these platforms and now they start experiencing spiritual warfare and they're like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa and they walk away from the faith.
• 23:00 - 23:30 Yeah. I think there's like two sides to that because there's a part of that because people will get excited and then position themselves as ministers but simultaneously I think it's good when like certain celebrities or influencers come to Christ and they're like hey like this is my life because God is getting all the glory. Amen. But I think when that excitement then transfers into like a ministering, it's like people are going to take you seriously now. So now you're held to a higher standard according to James 3, right? Because you're taking on the position as a minister or as a pastor or someone who's speaking to all the masses. So it's
• 23:30 - 24:00 figuring out that balance of okay, if I have a platform, I could share that Jesus has changed my life and I could share that, you know, I'm new to the faith and I'm really excited without that bleeding into an expectancy of me to preach. Yeah. So I think that prematurity comes from people who are excited about the faith but don't know the difference between sharing and ministering. Yeah. I feel like that's that kind of happened to me in the beginning of my walk with Christ cuz I gave my life to Christ like in 2020. Um and then I was just openly sharing my
• 24:00 - 24:30 testimony a lot like on TikTok. I would just go live and just start telling everybody about Jesus cuz it's like you know you get that fresh fire like when you just give your life to Christ all you want to do is just share the gospel. Um but I would begin to share the gospel but also at the same time people are coming to me for prayer and all these things. So I begin to like start preaching like like a minister and um the Lord told me to sit down like he said what are you doing like sit down like there's so much more that I have to teach you like you have to go through this process by yourself. And that's
• 24:30 - 25:00 when I said like I lost a lot of my friends. I went through that season of really just being consecrated. That's another thing too. They don't know what a season of consecration looks like. um they don't know what it's like to like really just be alone with God and receive from him. Find out exactly who you are, you know, cuz that transition, there's a lot that needs to be removed, needs to be added. Like God is like patchworking you. Yeah. There needs to be a grace for that. And the space of grace is somewhat also up to you if you're creating a a space for that. And
• 25:00 - 25:30 I think that's something, you know, I've even admitted on this page, too, is that I didn't I went into this space off of excitement. There was a call. I fasted and prayed for about like 6 months, but a lot of it was also fueled by excitement as well. Um, I knew God has always called me to a ministry like this into a podcast. I've known that. But because I stepped into it maybe too soon is that God had to put me through accelerated fire. M
• 25:30 - 26:00 and sometimes people don't make it out. They don't they don't make it out. And by the grace of God, I did. I like that accelerated fire is I went through accelerated fire. So God was like, "Okay, because you kind of stepped into this and we can't really reverse this is all the things that I would be teaching you in the secret space in a span of like 3 years. We're going to smush that to 3 months." So it's like because of my excitement, I chose the timing of it. And your growth was like fast fast. And you know that because you met me before
• 26:00 - 26:30 the podcast. Like there was things like I let down where like oh like there's people who have been in the faith for like 10 years and they still even and haven't touched it. Your revelations and like how you know the word like when I say like you're one of you are like one of the closest friends that I have that know the word. Hallelujah. Know the word. And to fact the fact that that it's only been like three years three to four years. Like people be 10 years into their faith and they don't know the word. That's crazy. People will also go to church their entire life and not know the word of God. But I think the
• 26:30 - 27:00 difference for me when it comes to the word of God is that I don't know it it is weird because like whenever I was in high school like I wasn't a super good student, you know, how was your grades? No, my grades were like all right, but I wasn't a good of a student to where like testing was my jam and I would go home and do all these flashcards. I did I did really good in school based off of what I already knew. I never studied. I hate studying. I was like, I hate this. I was
• 27:00 - 27:30 like, I feel like I should just know it. It was just like I feel like it was a lot of wasted time. Um but something about the word of God excites me to study it and excites me uh to say your love for him. You want to know him more, right? I've also been blessed with a really good memory. Like I remember stuff all the way down to where I was like probably 2 or 3 years old. Wow. I know that sounds insane. That's my biggest insecurity. Yeah. That's why like I I always say to you carry graces as my best friend that I know that some some of those things I don't carry. Yeah. And I pray for those things literally. Same because you could pray
• 27:30 - 28:00 like a million times better than me. And sometimes it's funny cuz I'll be at church and people are like, "Wow, Emmy, you pray so well." I'm like, "Bro, you do not know my bestie." Because that girl can pray for hours. We thank God. God, we give God all the glory. you know, but when it comes to you, like you said, the memory and um it's so funny how you speak about the accelerated fire because that was my like in terms of like starting the podcast and everything. I told you like that is literally my biggest insecurity was like my me feeling like I didn't I did not
• 28:00 - 28:30 know enough. I did not know enough to start or did not know enough to share the gospel. And that is a lie from the enemy. That is truly a lie from the enemy. Feeling like you don't know enough. Can you actually share more about that? Because well just to give context, Aoya started a podcast on her own uh well by the time this post like a few months ago and that was like a huge lie for a long time is you don't know enough etc etc. So my question is how do people share the gospel and beat the lies of the enemy that they don't know
• 28:30 - 29:00 enough that they're not smart enough or articulate enough to spread the good news of Jesus Christ? I feel like for me one thing that God said to me was that your testimony is all you need. And one thing that God also said to me is that your testimony is actually your biggest sermon. It's the most powerful sermon because it's a personal re revelation of how you know Jesus Christ. And not not everybody can relate to that. So for me um like yeah when it came to well my podcast is called Giving Grace. So when it came to that um I was like being
• 29:00 - 29:30 disobedient to the max like I felt the burden for the whole year was not starting the thing because I felt like I did not know enough or I felt like um I it's hard for me to memorize scripture even to this day like that is still something I always I'm transparent with you about that is something that I I just can't stand but God is working with me. God is giving me grace on that. Um not being able to memorize scripture but the love that I have for God he told me is enough. it is enough. And um just understanding that it is the Lord that
• 29:30 - 30:00 will put that utterance inside of me. A lot of the time the fear comes from the fact that I think that I can do it by myself. There it is. Then I sit down and I start speaking and it's not me. It's the Holy Spirit that is moving through me. And the Bible says that he the spirit will give you that utterance. So um I had to understand that that is not by my my strength alone. It's not by my works alone, but it's by him and it's by his strength. It reminds me of Abraham where he's like God. Oh, sorry. Not Abraham. Moses where he's like when he had the stutter. Yeah. He's like God like can you bring like can you have Aaron do it? Like I don't want to do it.
• 30:00 - 30:30 And God's like I've given you that tongue in the mouth. Like I've given you your speech. I've given you your mouth. I've given you that tongue and that voice that's inside of you. He's like bro I've given you this voice. So it's not even yours in the first place. Yeah. Same thing with Gideon, right? Like the same exact thing. It's just like I'm a nobody. Like I come from the weakest clan. Like who am I? From the weakest tribe. The weakest. and I'm the last one and the youngest. Mhm. Who's going to want me? Who's going to And that's how I looked at myself. I'm like, God, I barely know enough. Like, you know, I
• 30:30 - 31:00 I'm around a couple of friends who are in ministries and they are they know their Bible. They know scripture. And for me, I'm like, uh, somebody can ask me a scripture. I'm like, uh, but it's like, I love you, Jesus. Like, I know that this is what I'm called to. Um, but yeah, it's just like I said, it's not by my strength alone. It's not by the words that come out of my mouth, but it's about the spirit that's inside of me. like you're unqualifying yourself. Can I actually tell you something to encourage you? I just felt this on my spirit. You want to know what that reminds me of? Reminds me of David. Because here's the thing. When Samuel came to anoint David,
• 31:00 - 31:30 David was out in the flocks with the sheep. He was out in the field. He wasn't even being considered, right? But here you have all the sons of Jesse who are highly qualified. Yeah. They have the height. They have the age. They have the strengths and abilities. They had everything. And Samuel's like, "Not you." Well, actually, he looks the first Sunday, he's like, "This guy's perfect." And God's like, "It's not him, though." So, they had all the qualifications that you're speaking of like, you know what, they would make great be a great podcast or a great minister or a great person to
• 31:30 - 32:00 spread the word of God. But God was like, I want that young boy out in the field. And you want to know what David had that all those other brothers did not? A heart for God. A heart for God. And so I believe what I just heard come out of your mouth is that hey I may not have all the qualifications that my siblings may have but I have a heart for God. That's kind of touching me cry. No that's good. Yeah. No as you were saying like wow. You don't even know like in my quiet place like I would in my secret place I would cry out to God right? Like I would be wrestling with
• 32:00 - 32:30 him like in a sense like I'll have my days where I'm just like God why are you calling me to this thing? Like what is this? Like why don't you call somebody else? Like I don't want this, right? because I feel like I'm I'm not there like Moses, right? And one thing that I see when it comes to Moses and his stutter is like there's a compassion that God has. There's a love that he has for us. Um like he he knows what you're coming with, right? He knows that okay like Moses I know you have this stuttery I know you your memory is not the best. Like he's not asking us to come ready. He's telling us listen if you are willing all I need is willingness and I
• 32:30 - 33:00 can work with that. Right. Um and that's what it was when it came to me was just like God like I'm willing. I want to do the work. I want to serve you. And he said, "Okay, like that's all you need." Yeah. Even when it comes to when it comes to like the law and keeping the commandments and all these things, I feel like there's so many qualifications and all these things of this is how you get perfection. But the more you understand the law and God and all these things. I think people are like, "Oh, this like drives me away cuz I'll never, you know, measure up and I'm just going to, you know, put it all down or I'm going to turn super religious and go
• 33:00 - 33:30 forth all these things so I can be perfect in God." But actually those things should be like a ruler of like it's just showing you that you're never going to measure up but not in a way that should discourage you from the faith but in a way that encourages you of I'm actually in need of a savior. So all these things of the stutter or God I don't have the platform or God I don't have the following or God I don't have all the nice cameras or the lighting or whatever it may be or I don't have the voice or I don't have the looks whatever it may be. It's God's like, "You don't
• 33:30 - 34:00 need any of that because you're never going to measure up. It actually has less to do with us." And it's like the rules are there and the guidelines are there. So Jesus can fit all of those spots, not so we can fill them. So the rules and the qualifications shouldn't be a discouragement. It should be an encouragement that everywhere where you lack, God is way stronger. And I would even go as far to say that the places I'm strong in, I still lack. Yeah. Because they're filled with me. M so I would actually prefer lacking in
• 34:00 - 34:30 everything so that God can get all the glory right because if it's all about me it's like it's done in vain. It's like I don't want it done over me or about me. I want it all done for Jesus and for who God is. Like Paul says he boasts in his weaknesses because in his weaknesses the power of Lord of God is being made manifest through him. So like that even allowed me to realize like even something like anxiety, right? Like the whole DPDR thing. It's like okay I have this thing that's going on with me. Um I hate it. I hate the severe anxiety. I hate feeling like this, but I'm going to boast in this situation. I'm going to
• 34:30 - 35:00 boast in this thing because I know that is the Lord that is going I need a savior. Like you said, like I will be saved through this thing. God is the one who has given me the strength to go through this thing every single day. Yeah. It makes you needy of his presence. I know people are probably like, "What is DPDR?" Right. I was just going to say that. So, this is like one of the things me and you clicked on very early in our relationship because it's the first thing. I think it was the first thing of like, oh, you actually deal with that because I thought I was the only one who dealt with it and I would overexlain it to other people and they're like, "What the heck?" So, I'll
• 35:00 - 35:30 share my side and then you can show your side. So, uh, I know how my DPDR started. I think a lot of it was from anxiety. So, what DPDR is, it's a personalization derealization disorder. It's a form of an anxiety disorder. So whenever I was younger, I got anxiety with GAD, which is general anxiety disorder, and then Pad, panic attack disorder. So I was filled with so much anxiety that was fueled from a lot of suicidal ideiation, bullying at school, um whether if it was just not physical,
• 35:30 - 36:00 excuse me, psychological or verbal abuse that turned me to a lot of anxiety. And then over time that turned into DBTR and DBTR, depersonalization, derealization disorder. The psychological effects is almost as if you're consumed by so much anxiety and fear that you do not feel real. Like everything around you doesn't feel like a reality. It's very scary. And it's very scary. Like you question yourself and your existence and sometimes you'll look at your hands and they don't look real and like all that.
• 36:00 - 36:30 You feel like you're in a video game basically. Right. Right. Right. Like in a simulation and uh you know I I think sometimes you would even feel really immortal and immune at times. And I could tell you how the DBDR started in my life. It was being fully transparent after I started smoking. Same. And that's actually a huge part, a huge side effect of smoking weed and marijuana is DBDR. Yeah. And it causes real psychological damage because once you kind of get in that psychological high,
• 36:30 - 37:00 your brain doesn't know how to chemically fully get out of that. And so it has it has like this PTSD response to keep going back to it. Yeah. Mhm. That's literally how mine happened. It was so weird though cuz mine was like when I say it was so weird. Um the first time I experienced DPDR was in a high. So like S. Wait, same. Wait, no. Actually kept I'm a liar. I'm going to shut up. Really? Okay. Okay. I completely lie. No, no, no. No, I think it was the second time. I'm going to let you talk. Yeah, that's it's fine. But um the first time I experienced it was Yeah. It was
• 37:00 - 37:30 literally it was in a high. So um I was in I I first started smoking like in high school. Um, it was introduced to me by a boy actually. Um, what's that what's that holiday called? 420. Was it called 420? Oh yeah, it's 420. Yeah, that's the first time I had an edible. And um, ever since then, you know, be careful about who you hang with and who you chill with because then these people like the enemy will send people into your life and they will plant seeds. Absolutely. And um, weed was introduced to me through a guy and I began to
• 37:30 - 38:00 become basically addicted to it. Um, to the point I had a very very very very embarrassing situation. I wasn't a senior in high school. Um I got so high I was stressed out at that time. Um and the funny thing what I was stressed out about senior year was the fact that I started missing my father. That's another situation. Yeah, that's another uh a topic. Um but yeah, my father died when I was 3 years old. So like when I got to high school, it was so weird. I felt like for the first time I started filling the void of being fatherless and
• 38:00 - 38:30 I started searching for um that love of a father in all the wrong things whether that be men, whether that be drugs and um weed was that one thing at the time um for my senior year and yeah I had that oh my gosh like literally I got so high in the back of my class remember I had a substitute teacher and I started doing jumping jacks and I passed out. Boom. Wait, why was you doing jumping jacks? because I was so high, I kept fainting like many like like flashes and I got to the front of the room and I started doing jumping jacks to like gain my speed back cuz I'm like, "Okay, no,
• 38:30 - 39:00 nothing's wrong with me." You know, you try to convince yourself and I did jumping jacks and boom, I passed out. The ambulance had to come to the school. It was a lot. It was really, really bad. So, that was the first time uh that I experienced the DPDR. And me being a dummy, I continued to smoke um thinking that, okay, like, you know, it was just a little bad high. And every time I smoked, it just got worse and worse and worse. And um I took a break, I stopped. Actually, I told myself, I'm I'm actually not going to do this thing anymore. And I think it was like 20 20 Yeah, 2019. Um I was working at Zara. I
• 39:00 - 39:30 had my first job and I caught it behind the the register. Mind you, I'm experiencing DPDR now and I'm not high. So, it was like a panic attack. And it was a panic attack that I I just caught out of nowhere. This guy just asked me for something behind the register. And I literally did not know what to say to him. Like my tongue went numb and everything. And after that day, I was never the same. I was experiencing DPDR every day, not realizing that even me going back to that job at Zara, it was like a PT PTSD effect. Like I kept
• 39:30 - 40:00 experiencing the panic attack over and over every single day. Then I had to quit. Kind of like OCD. Cuz OCD um I hate when people think that OCD is like being cleanly. Like OCD is obsession compulsion disorder. So I don't think a lot of my viewers know this. I love psychology. I've been to a lot of therapy and I've read a lot of books and so like behavioral science and how the brain chemistry works is like a huge hobby of mine. But uh that kind of sounds like OC OCD like you were obsessed with if this happens here it's
• 40:00 - 40:30 going to happen again because OCD is also another form of anxiety and it's a compulsion and obsession of if I come here if I do the same exact thing the same exact thing is going to happen again. Uh but that's just a lie from the pits of hell, you know. But uh yeah, I think the DBDR outside and it's really frustrating when you're like, "Dang, I stopped all of this and it's tormenting and robbing my life." Which just shows that when you open a door and you invite a party of a whole bunch of stuff in,
• 40:30 - 41:00 you know, it's going to take a lot to clean up the mess. And when I first experienced my DPDR, uh it was a lot like that as well. was I didn't experience it as uh much in the smoking weed phase. It was like right after, but I was still smoking nicotine. I believed a lot of my brain got I was smoking nicotine, too. I was smoking nicotine worse than we though. I think you were you were smoking you were smoking weed more than nicotine. I was smoking more nicotine more than uh weed. Yeah. And yo, the nicotine. I'm actually convinced
• 41:00 - 41:30 to this day, and I reverse the cars as much as I can. Uh that I lost a lot of brain cells due to smoking nicotine. Don't laugh, but I'm so for real. You can't get them back. But I think Jesus restored. He restored. He restored your brain. Yes, he did. In Jesus name. Amen. Put your hand on me. Amen. Restoration. Amen. Amen. But um yeah. No, so I I believe that. But I do believe that spoken nicotine played a lot into my brain chemistry. And then also marrying into the psychological effects of
• 41:30 - 42:00 smoking marijuana. Um, but I remember the first day it happened. I didn't get out of it for about a solid year. Oh my gosh. Every single day. So I had it for about I would say four months, the DBDR every single day. And had six months of panic attacks. So for 6 months and there's people who were in my life when this was happening. This is like 2019 2020 right before we met cuz I had red hair. Uh there were people in my life during this time I had about three panic
• 42:00 - 42:30 attacks a day. Panic attacks that made me feel like I was going to die. It was absolutely insane. And uh to where I felt like I needed to go to the hospital or whoop and all this stuff and then um experienced a little bit a little bit of DBDR after that. But um I got baptized and after I got baptized and fully surrendered onto the Lord, it was like a lot of that washed away. And of course temptations are going to still come up here and there because even Jesus was tempted. So, it's like those temptations will come up, but it's up to us if we handle it, right? Cuz all Satan can do is leverage your flesh. And so, he's
• 42:30 - 43:00 going to look at the spots in your life where, oh, she struggles with this. She's been through this before. Let me leverage this and see if she's going to cave in. And so, that's more so been what happens now of the temptation of me giving into my old behaviors and my old old psychological patterns. Mhm. I like how you mentioned the temptation part, too, because a lot of people think when they come to Christ, they're not going to experience something ever again, right? Yeah. And that was that that's the the biggest thing for me was kind of
• 43:00 - 43:30 like I begin to go back and forth with God like, okay, I'm I'm I gave my life to you. I'm living for Christ. Why am I still experiencing? Because the truth of the matter is it still happens here and there, you know, like I still experience sometimes I'll I'll have like a mini panic attack or the enemy tries to get into my mind, whatever the case is, right? or I'll feel like I'm experiencing like that DPDR thing. Um but like you said, it's about like how you handle it. And um before like the enemy would do this thing of trying to trap me cuz I started really experiencing in co so I would be trapped
• 43:30 - 44:00 in my home. I wouldn't want to come out and um I wouldn't even want to want to go to church like I wouldn't want to be around anyone. And I started doing the opposite. I started I started doing what God wanted me to do, right? So I started getting around people, getting around community, coming out of my room, coming out of my shell. Um and yeah, just is about how you treat the situation. Yeah, I think CO also played a lot into my psychological behavior because after CO I would say before CO I was super extroverted. Now I'm super I think it's a introvert when you're both you're both an extrovert and an introvert. I don't
• 44:00 - 44:30 know if that's I don't know if that's the right terminology. Um but it's where you're like both. You kind of pick and choose. I believe it is. Yeah. Yeah. But I became completely introverted and then was like wait no but I'm naturally extroverted. So then I was like kind of struggling with my identity a little bit. Keep in mind I'm like 1920 during this time. So it is kind of weird. And then I kind of turned into this mixture of both. But um that's when a lot of like the DBDR and stuff was happening was around co and um obviously a lot of stuff emotionally was happening too
• 44:30 - 45:00 because I just came to Christ. I lost a lot on the way. My friends are changing. My family dynamic is crazy. I'm reading the Bible and then co is happening. I'm also coming to social media. So, there was transition. Yeah. And I think like that age, like the transition of your teens into your 20s is a very pivotal transition. And I think it's one that kind of sets the tone of what battle and cup of suffering you're going to have for almost the rest of your life. And
• 45:00 - 45:30 even when I talk to my mom, cuz my mom's now in Christ, like she remembers. Amen. Amen. We got to we got to acknowledge that. No, mommy, for real. Right. Um Yeah. know, but she even remarks back to times where she first started struggling with things. It was in her early 20s. Yeah. And she still struggles with those same things too these days. Or like you could even just talk to people are older. It's like Yeah. started kind of transitioning into adulthood, you know, and it's because you're starting a new season of life. It's like you had 20
• 45:30 - 46:00 almost 20 18 20 years of being a child and then it's one day you're expected to be an adult. And so there's a whole bunch of things that come with that. A true crossover from 19 to 20. Yes, there is a true crossover cuz like I said like in those stages was when I started actually what what they call that the frontal lobe. I think like the the first part of my frontal lobe started I thought well I I I'm pretty sure your frontal lobe fully develops when you're 25. Oh okay, but maybe it could just start maybe I think I just started processing life
• 46:00 - 46:30 different. Y'all understand what I'm saying? She mad smart. Anyways, like but um I there was like a part of me that started realizing certain things in my life, right? Like um when I when leaving 19 going into 20 um realizing there were certain voids in my life, right? One of those voids was like I mentioned the fatherless void. Um that's when I started searching for love and affection and so many other things. Um rather than seeking God, right? That was like 18, 19 going into 20 years old. Um, and by the
• 46:30 - 47:00 age of 20, that's when I fully devoted my life to Christ. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that was another area where in the beginning of our relationship and our friendship, that was another area where we really one of the biggest areas, the biggest areas is having like that lack of a father figure, that affection, that attention. The only difference between our stories is that you lost your father. My father is still alive. We just don't have a relationship. But still, that void is equal in a lot of Yeah. It's absence at the core. Yeah. And I think there's a there's a grieving
• 47:00 - 47:30 that comes with that absence that's very hard to navigate. And I think the most difficult part about having an absence of a father figure and being neglected by a father figure is, how should I phrase this? We begin to project that onto God. that that it's it's more so we see we're cool seeing God as a king and has authority but we don't know how to see him as a father
• 47:30 - 48:00 and father is the highest attribute that God has at even when Jesus tells the disciples to pray he's like this is how you should pray our father who arts in heaven they dress him as father first dress him as father first Jesus could have instructed the disciples to say our king our lord our lord our friend Elshadai gyra he could have said anything but he said, "Our father and so God's highest calling is to be a father." And so I
• 48:00 - 48:30 believe the biggest attack on all human beings is for sure for fathers and men and fatherhood because fatherhood I believe is a high representation of who God is. Yeah. Mhm. The father of the house, the head of the household, the head of if you rank a household, the head of the household is usually the man is the father. Um and we see in a lot of households that men are usually attacked the most. Yeah, we see that.
• 48:30 - 49:00 Yeah. knowing that my father my father passed away. Very very traumatic. Um my father was shot. I I told you, right? Um I know that very well. No, I'm not laughing. Okay. It's a pivotal part to your testimony, but I'm laughing at the fact you thought I didn't know that. Yeah. I'm like, you remember that, right? But it's cool. But anyways, um yeah, like he passed away when I was 3 years old. So like with that being I'm so sorry. Why are you laughing? You're so unserious. I'm sorry. But um yeah, so
• 49:00 - 49:30 he passed away when I was uh 3 years old. He ended up getting shot. And growing up, you know, without my dad, it was not the easiest thing ever. Um my brothers, they have their fathers in their lives, unlike me. Um so yeah, it was very hard when I came when I gave my life to Christ. I didn't I didn't really know how to accept like you said God as a father. I always looked at it up to God as this high authority figure like oh my gosh, you know. Um but in the like the last year in the beginning of this
• 49:30 - 50:00 year was kind of those like God was speaking to me to receive him as a father and come to him as a daughter. So even in my language I realized even in my prayer language I would speak to God like you know um Lord and I would say God I never called God father. rarely rarely and I realized the more I called him father was the deeper of deeper intim like I would I would get into like deeper levels of intimacy with him so like every time I would be like father it would break parts of me it would
• 50:00 - 50:30 break parts of me and like fill voids inside of me that I realized I didn't realize existed. Yeah. And I think it's because there's a part of you that doesn't know that unknown space of like you don't know what it's like to have a relationship with the father. And I think my my side of the story is like my dad was my superhero up until like high school and then I got completely betrayed. And so it it was navigating this weird of like I know what it's like for a father to be there, but I know what it's like for a father to leave.
• 50:30 - 51:00 And so it messed up my mind coming to God as a father and even unconsciously rejecting God as a father sometimes because I didn't want to deal with this false reality that he could leave me. So my problem was more so abandonment and what if rejection and rejection and if what if what I bring to the table isn't enough. What if you don't like all of me? And what if you're gonna leave? And
• 51:00 - 51:30 and I think it's like this just distorted fatherhood from from one experience that I had because I know what it's like to be loved and seen and heard. But God, what if one day you decide to just cut all of that off? Yeah. And I can't judge God to the same standard that fathers here on the earth that man that man has made or or performs in their character. And I think um seeing God also as a father too has
• 51:30 - 52:00 and this may sound crazy has also shown me how great of a dad my dad was. So I think the more I put off seeing God as a father. Yeah. Hallelujah. I think the more I put off seeing God as a father, the more resentment I grew towards my earthly father because I wasn't embracing what fatherhood should look like. And so the closer I got to seeing God as a father and seeing how beautiful it is to have that relationship with the Lord, I started to see areas in my in my
• 52:00 - 52:30 earthly father where I was like, "Wow, that's amazing." And that actually replicated God and I didn't know it. And of course, there's certain circumstances or areas where, you know, it is what it is and there's not much you can do about it. You walk in a lot of forgiveness, right? And actually that was a pivotal point that led me to forgiveness is going to God as a father and then the grace of seeing the grace of fatherhood onto all these men all all across the world and even people in my own life whether if it was my own stepdad or my earthly father or my uncles whoever it may be. And it just kind of showed me
• 52:30 - 53:00 this grace of fatherhood that heals a lot of my spirit and it reminded me that the burden of perfection doesn't fall on man it just falls on the Lord. And so that forgiveness came a lot when God showed me I had an altar of perfectionism from men. And that altar of perfectionism led to really high standards. It led to a lot of anxiety. That's good. And a lot of bitterness.
• 53:00 - 53:30 So I would be bitter towards men who couldn't match up to my perception of what good was. M and so I would go through all these relationships and talking stages and I would give all these requirements and the moment a guy a guy would fall short on one or I was holding these standards really high over them, they would just kind of dip out of it. And th this obviously happened about like 3 years ago and God ended up showing me that those high standards came as a result of trauma the way I was treated from men. And so I had to
• 53:30 - 54:00 crucify the altar I made of perfection. not only that I put on other men but mostly on myself. And once I was able to destroy that altar, I was able to accept humans for what they are and meet people where they're at and be patient and loving and sharpening. And I think that's even why I'm in such a good relationship now is because that Amen. But it's because that altar was was ruined and I and I gave it over to God and was no longer an idol in my life
• 54:00 - 54:30 anymore. Yeah. I feel like for me, I experienced a lot of heartbreak for men and like my past relationships. Um, like I started speaking to men probably around like high school cuz like I said, high school was when I really begin to feel that fatherless void inside of me. And even now as you speak and tell, you know, your story, I'm realizing a lot of the heartbreak that I experienced, God allowed it. Yeah, he allowed it because it would allow me to experience his love and to understand that those voids cannot be filled by sex. It cannot be
• 54:30 - 55:00 filled by um you know the fake affection from men, temporary love from men. Um yeah. So for me it was like I would go through high school and college um and just craving love and attention. And at the time it was like I wasn't even realizing that the void was coming um from the fact that my physical father wasn't here, you know. know um I would feel validated um because of men giving me compliments or um just feeling like if a man doesn't love me, I'm not enough. That was literally my mindset. I
• 55:00 - 55:30 never had um anyone call me baby girl. Like I never had my father baby girl me or love me as a little girl and stuff. And um so it made me begin to crave those things from boyfriends and just talking stages, situations, situationships. And then um yeah when I gave my life to Christ that's when God began to reveal this thing to me and show me like these voids is coming from the fact that you know your father passed away and I begin to face that thing and by the grace of God this is
• 55:30 - 56:00 where I always say like God truly like he he truly truly restores um restoration and he will give you better. Um I ended up like receiving father figures in my life whether that be my mentor whether that be my you know my apostle and um they begin to love me truly love me. I begin to see so many different father figures in my life. Um as well as God as well as the true father. Um yeah. So it just in God. It's refreshing to see it in the flesh too of like oh like this isn't a void. I'm just
• 56:00 - 56:30 missing and I'm never going to be able to experience because I'm an adult. Like God still graces me. Cuz I think that's like some worries that people have is you know it's too late. My childhood is gone. But it's like we're children of the faith. Like God actually encourages us. Jesus actually does for us to have childlike faith. And so if we're called to have childlike faith, we're supposed to seek God as a father and always know that we're always going to be babies to him. We're always going to be little girls or boys to him, right? And um what? Super side note, still on the
• 56:30 - 57:00 childlike faith thing. God, give me grace to say this. Wait, what were we about to say? Because I think people will take this is off topic but on topic. Okay. So when people will talk about childlike faith I think one thing that really irritates me when people talk about you know where I'm going. I think you know where I'm going. When people talk about childlike faith and they quite literally act like a toddler. Yeah. Mhm. Like there's an immaturity. Yeah. Like there's like a oh
• 57:00 - 57:30 my gosh that's my dad in the sky. Yeah. That's my daddy. Daddy in sky. Yeah. And it's like that's actually a lack of reverence for God. Or like when it's like Valentine's Day and everyone thinks that Jesus is their boyfriends. I'm I'm sorry. I don't agree with that. Like or it's just Yeah. It's just like it's like childlike. It's just like it's not childlike and a biblical childlike, but it's immature. Immature. Yeah. And it's underdeveloped. And it's actually a lack of reverence. And I think that's an area where people are like, "Yeah, have
• 57:30 - 58:00 childlike faith." But then these are people who you're a grown adult and you're acting like a toddler. There's a there's a difference of having childlike faith and because the when it talks about childlike faith, it's magnifying an innocence that a child has. It's magnifying a trust that a child has because obviously your mother has been in your life. So whenever you were younger and your mom were to say uh like don't touch the stove because it's hot. Would you touch the stove? No. No. Because you trust your mom and you know that it's hot. So, it's like when it
• 58:00 - 58:30 comes to us being don't pick up the cigarette or don't pick up the drink, I'm going to listen to him because I trust him and he's my father. So, it's kind of those same attributes of how we submit under God as children. Not necessarily being a freaking toddler and being like, "Hey, daddy God, give me my freaking milk, my sky milk." It's like, no, it's not like that, you know? And it's no hate to anybody who But you got to grow up. Yeah. There h there has to be a shift
• 58:30 - 59:00 theologically knowing what tri-like faith is because I think that's honestly the the problem with people operating in this childlike immaturity toddlerish faith is that there's a lack of biblical literacy and you don't know what the word tri-like actually means and so that leads into a perversion of the scriptures which makes you act like a toddler but being childlike is actually just trusting with God and it's a submission process and the heart posture is what of how to receive God. Absolutely. and not just this, oh, I'm going to act like a toddler
• 59:00 - 59:30 and say all these things, you know, it's like um you know, it comes a point to where there is a maturity in the faith. That's why 1 Corinthians, is it 10, 13? It's 10 and it says uh I was once a man or when I was once a man, I put the ways of childish like things behind me. Oh, how's it go? It was like uh I was a boy, now I'm a man and I put childlike things behind me. It's like in order to pursue a maturity and a righteousness, it's like there has to be a moment where
• 59:30 - 60:00 you're no longer, you're woman, you know, you got to put that girl identity aside, you know, but simultaneously still be a child. And I think like how you said, that's the heart that's like staying in that relationship with God. It's the heart posture that you carry to be able to receive God as the father. It's not about like you said like daddy this, daddy that, like the actions. the hard posture like okay like this is my father I need to run to him right like that's the mindset that we should be carrying yeah I think also childlike
• 60:00 - 60:30 faith too is asking a lot of questions as well I think children are very curious yeah I believe like a lot of my childlike behaviors with God is me asking a lot of questions and being curious and God honors that because I feel like God would honor me asking questions more than me not saying or asking anything at all because it piques an interest and uh yeah, so there's a lot of attributes of what having childlike faith looks like that doesn't necessarily mean a verbal or cognitive
• 60:30 - 61:00 change or distinction, whatever it may be. Mhm. But yeah, that was like super off topic, but I was like, wait, while we're on the child like fake topic, I would love to just air that out cuz I've seen some stuff on TikTok or Instagram where I'm like, this is embarrassing. People, grown adults acting like they're babies for God to grow up, maturity. This is This is This is kind of enough with the breast milk. Yeah, we need to start eating solids. Yeah. Mhm. I like me a good steak. I like some steak and chicken. Real
• 61:00 - 61:30 good. Medium. Well, you don't want to know what that remind me of today? What? We just got told cuz this bro, I know we were so loud in church today with the gluten. I'm minding my Do you want to tell me the type of diet you're on? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not that I Okay, so I'm dairy free and gluten-free right now because I'm getting married in three months. So I'm like I gota be snatched and look the best and not even just look. I have to feel the best. You want to feel healthy?
• 61:30 - 62:00 Yeah. Because gluten and dairy really inflammation a lot. It really bloats me and it really it doesn't make me feel well. So ever since I've cut out gluten and dairy, I've been thriving healthwise. But today at communion at church, guys, when I they have gluten-free communion, that's amazing. I'm minding my business. listening to the sermon and I just hear a lady come over to speak to Emmy and she's like we have gluten-free and I hear gluten-free. I'm like, is she about to give her food? And I see it's a communion cup and then I'm like this is disrespectful. Like are
• 62:00 - 62:30 you kidding me? Like you think the bread of Jesus is disres like I'm like out of all the things bro we were cracking up so bad. And I was like, "No, like you know, um, mine is a is a dietary preference, but you know, people are ciliac." So, like, they realize can't have gluten or I'll be allergic. I'm not allergic. I'm just I'm just You're dedicated. That's what one dedicated and determined. That's one thing. Dedicated, determined and disciplined. Yeah. Discipline. Discipline. That's one thing that you
• 62:30 - 63:00 definitely carry that I need to rub off on is I feel like you've been saying that all week. Yes. being around I feel like you know when I'm here I don't take this visit as just only a vacation but for me to receive you know like when you're around your friends your godly friends and you're my best friend so it's like okay like what is it that I know that I'm here for a purpose I know it's one to celebrate but there's also something there's revelations that God want me to catch a and just being around you like I said like you know opposites attract right even though we have a lot that is similar there's there's a lot of things that I'm weak at that you're
• 63:00 - 63:30 strong at you're strong and I'm and that's why we're saying iron is like iron iron, right? And um one thing is the level of discipline that you walk with, like it's amazing. That's something that I lack in and I'm like, God, I got to take this back to New York. I need this. I need this. Like that's that's literally been my prayer since I've been here. Yeah. I think uh there's a lot of aspects about you too where I'm just like, just keep them there. Like just keep them here. Like don't let them just stay in New York. Like keep them here. I feel like every time I hang out with you or even if we're on the phone, just as simple as that is just more like there's so much I
• 63:30 - 64:00 just receive from you and it's honestly a lot of the time super unconscious like I'm not going into like all of our conversations like what can I get from a moyet I'm like it just naturally spirit just begins to flow. Yeah. Yeah. And there's like an impartation that like you have because God has graced you with the responsibility to like sharpen me and saying vice versa. So it's really beautiful. Thank God. Thank God for Christlike friends for Yeah. No, thank God. And the fact that we're on completely different opposite sides of
• 64:00 - 64:30 the country and have still been able to come together. It's a blessing. We thank God. And I'm blessed that I was your first flight, guys. That's actually crazy. And you know something, like God provides because I have not paid for a flight yet. It's so off topic, but um God has been providing cuz you opened the door like for me to honestly begin to fly. Guys, to be honest with you, it's 2025. 2024 was the first time I got on a plane and it was because of Emy's proposal, right? Emy's proposal. Like the first time I
• 64:30 - 65:00 got on a flight and it was smooth. It was beautiful. God provided for that. And Yeah. And you were by yourself too because for a long time you said you would never fly by yourself. I would never. And I had to. I literally made the decision in a week. Mhm. Your proposal was a whole plan in itself, but I made the decision literally in a week, I'm like, "No, I must be there." And even that trip in itself, I was just receiving. Like every time I'm with you, God wants me to receive something. It's just not a trip of just relaxing and vacation, but it's like what is it that I can get here, get out of this trip?
• 65:00 - 65:30 And it's a lot. This time is discipline. Yes. I also think too like something just when we're around each other too is that you're so comfortable really like you're just comfy like kind of how like the Holy Spirit is a comforter. It's like you comfort me. Not like oh it's comfortable we could stay where we're at. Just more so like a there's a comfort and there's a nurturing that comes in our friendship. Like we were even making this joke like while she was here is like bro like yesterday we disassociated for like 5 hours and it
• 65:30 - 66:00 was great. I'm like I feel like a roommate. cuz I kept saying she was downstairs in the guest bedroom. I was upstairs and we just like the whole day. It was just so nice. And then I She came downstairs. I'm on the couch. I'm like, "Oh, hey, I forgot you live here." Yeah. Say vice versa. Yeah. But it was really nice because it's like obviously we spent a lot of time with one another, but we know how to honor that secret space and alone time with one another and give each other time cuz sometimes like people come over or I'll go over places and there's like we have to do all these things. But it's like there's there's such a comfort of like I could be in my bed like taking a nap, but I'm
• 66:00 - 66:30 comfortable knowing that you're downstairs. Like even just presenting God. Yeah. Even being able to wake up in this home cuz I've been in situations where I'll be at friends houses and I don't even feel comfortable spending time with God. Like I'm whispering like, "Heavenly Father, thank you for waking me up." No, I was able to wake up in your house and blasting in tongues and crying out to God. I was laid out. I'm just letting you know my tears are stained on this floor. I heard you because my office is right next door to this gu because she was staying in
• 66:30 - 67:00 this guest bedroom for a little bit and my office is next door and so I'll pray in my office. Um and yeah, I heard you for a bit and then I turned up my music cuz I was like God I don't want to interrupt her secret space and I hope she don't interrupt mine. So I'm just going to blast this music as well and we're going to tune each other out and just get in your present. Simple. And what was crazy Ammani was downstairs doing the same thing too. They'll know they'll know more about Ammani soon. Yeah. No, cuz I'm getting her on the pod. One day I want to get all of like the bridal squad down and just That would be so tough. No, we have to. Oh my gosh. Talking about the bridal squad.
• 67:00 - 67:30 Alana give her life to Christ. Yeah. No, that was amazing. That this entire week was a blessing. Yeah. It was the Lord was just moving. No moving. Yeah, man. I think what was so beautiful was like at the end of the batch um this was supposed to be the what we were going to do on the first night or sorry, second night because first night was so I'm really indecisive and I'm also really extra. So, when it came to the bridal theme, I was like, um, I like the Princess Diaries theme, but I also want to go horseback riding. I love the country and Joshua Tree, but but then I
• 67:30 - 68:00 also love Pilates. So, I was like, why don't we just do all of them? Call like a princess week. And so, that's literally what we did. Um, but we were supposed to do a worship night the second night cuz we did five days. It was a whole trip. It was a lot, y'all. And I I planned it for about four to five months ago. One of my friends said I was like finishing for every day. Was that the summer vacation? But every day I woke up in a new I'm like, "What's on what's on the thing today? What's on the what's on the map
• 68:00 - 68:30 today?" Like, yeah, cuz I had a whole itinerary of like I mean, for those who are watching, I'll even just pull it up while we're talking right now. Every day there was something else. I had a full full on itinerary itinerary, excuse me, of like everything. But um we were supposed to have a worship night the second night and I well none of us can play instruments. I mean the only person who really sings and is a worship leader is Ammani. But I wanted her to receive and not feel led to like Yeah. Yeah.
• 68:30 - 69:00 Yeah. Felt with the responsibility of like oh I got to lead to do all these things. Okay. For all those who are watching this is literally Do you see the execution y'all? Do y'all see the execution? Like literally had a whole she does not document and I thought this about like 4 months. Yeah. So, everybody was super prepared, but I'm a super type A person. Anyways, so then uh we as I asked one of my friends, Adriana, who leads that circuit writer music, to come down and lead, but she was still going to be on tour for Carrie the Love. And so, it was going to work out the second night. We're like,
• 69:00 - 69:30 "Oh, dang it. What how is that going to work?" And all these things, but ended up working out the last night and her coming out to Joshua Tree because she's in LA, so it's only like a 2-hour drive. Yeah. It ended up being amazing. It was I was just balling the whole time. We had a salvation. We had We had one of my best friends who came to Christ. And then also uh just so much intimacy which was something that I was lacking. Yeah. Yeah. It was something I needed like I needed to just touch the face and the
• 69:30 - 70:00 feet of God and I was like, "Bro, I'm good." Yeah. No, literally that whole worship session was it was so beautiful. Um, like I I explained to you before, I felt like I was lacking a lot in my intimacy with God. And like I said, like even in the beginning of this year, coming towards the end of last year, God was wanting me to experience him more as a father. And um, being in that intimate setting really allowed me to just go on in into like that quiet like even though it was you guys were around, it was probably like five of us, right? Like
• 70:00 - 70:30 like no, like six in total. Um, literally it felt like it was just me and God there alone. I actually think having that amount of people was perfect because that kind of just like constructs like a family. Like it's got like here's all my girls. Literally, it was so sweet. And I would actually recommend like if y'all are watching this and you have like those friends like you don't need to encounter the presence of God or have a miraculous thing happen when you go to a service or a worship night. It's like you could cultivate that space in your own home, in your bedroom. In your bedroom. In
• 70:30 - 71:00 your bedroom. And sure, it could be around all your friends singing a worship song, but you could do it on your own because the spirit quite literally resides in us, inside of us. Yeah. Hallelujah. Yeah. No, it's good. I feel like we hit a lot of good stuff. Yeah. The the conversation did not know go in any direction. We did not plan for this at all. Literally, and that was so good. And it was such a heart message. You could just tell like the word has just truly just been embedded into our hearts. This is a blessing. Thank you so much, girl, for bringing out here. I'm
• 71:00 - 71:30 like, this probably isn't going to be the last time you're on, so they better get used to you. The the look. Yeah, I hear that, right? Catch that. No. Hallelujah. But yeah, thank you guys for watching and just listening into this conversation. We just pray that God has gra graced you and blessed you through this conversation and that our testimonies have really spoken to you, just showing that God is good and that the glory of God is still evident. It's still here. It's never too late. And you guys already know like all the announcements. They're down in the description. Again,
• 71:30 - 72:00 round of applause for Moyet and just coming on the pod. And she flies home to New York tomorrow morning. In the next I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss this place. You'll be back soon though. Oh, real soon. I'm trying to get her to come back to New York, right? We're going to see cuz I get married in 3 months. So, countdown. Countdown. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. But we love you guys so much. Thank you guys for listening. May God receive all the glory. You want to know something I didn't think of right now. What? So, I think we should end out
• 72:00 - 72:30 and bless everyone who's watching. Okay. Out in prayer. Amen. And then we'll end it there. Amen. I'm going to let you start. Me pray? Yeah. And I'll finish it. All right. No problem. Heavenly Father, in the mighty name of Jesus, Father, in the mighty name of Jesus, I just want to thank you, oh God, for um allowing me to be on this platform today, oh God. Father God, I just want to thank you for save not soft. We know that this is touching millions and millions of souls. Oh God, I just want to thank you for using Emmy, using her for um all these women in the world, all
• 72:30 - 73:00 these men in the world. Oh God, we just want to thank you for the topics that we touched on today. Oh God, anyone who was dealing with a fatherless void, anyone who was dealing with um even just being alone, the transition of coming to Christ, Father God, I just pray that you just give them peace, peace that surpasses their understanding, oh God. Lord, I just pray that you let them know that they're not alone. May you even send them a friend like you sent Emmy to me, oh God. May you send them someone to let them know that they are not crazy, that they are not alone. May they feel the comfort of the Lord, comfort of Jesus in their lives right now in the
• 73:00 - 73:30 mighty name of Jesus. Oh God, once again, I just thank you for what you have done and what you're about to do on this platform. May you continue to use Emmy and continue to build her up for where you are taking her. Oh God, in Jesus mighty name I pray. In Jesus name, thank you Lord. We thank you Jesus. We lift you up high. We exalt you. We revere you Lord. We see you as holy and worthy, God. God, I thank you for leading each and every single person to this episode, God, to hear and receive your voice, God. God, even if it was just 10 people, God, we trust that every
• 73:30 - 74:00 single one of those people who are listening to this episode, it was meant for them. It was meant to minister to their spirits, God. God, we just give you this platform, God. We give you everything that we are. And God, we just decree and declare that your word, your message penetrates the hearts and the flesh of those who want to receive you, Lord. And God, even to those who are stubborn, to those who think they are alone and can never be reached, God prove them wrong and reach them. Lord, prove us wrong and reach us in places that we think we can never be reached. Father, God, I decree and declare that
• 74:00 - 74:30 the glory of God is constantly magnified, God, and that we stay like a man always on his face, on the floor, God, that we never fall from that position, Jesus. God, I ask for you to assist those who are making the transition into Christ. And God, that you assist those navigating friendships. And God, I even decree and declare that the mantle of our friendship passes down onto those who are listening to this episode. God, that there is that there is a releasing and that that there is anointing and that there is an agree that there is a grace to find a godly
• 74:30 - 75:00 friendship that sharpens that person towards the glory of God. Not idolatry, not dependence on one another, but a dependence on Christ. God, God, enter in and usher in godly friendships that are being used solely for the kingdom of God and for the sharpening and for the loving and the compassionate uh uh uh acceleration and and edification of your body, Lord. So, we thank you, Jesus. We thank you that you're here. We thank you that you bless this conversation. We
• 75:00 - 75:30 thank you that was such a great conversation, Lord. And we just decree and declare that the captives are set free through this. And it's not because of me and Amoy's word. It's because of your word. You're worthy and it's you. It's not us. It's all you, God. So, we give you all the credit. And uh we are humbled to give you all the credit because it's only you who's worthy or deserving of all of it. So, we thank you that you're kind. We thank you that you're intentional. We thank you that you're a father. Yes, Jesus. You're such a good dad. You're such a good dad. Give us a good childlike faith. And open our eyes to see you as a father, a good
• 75:30 - 76:00 heavenly father, and remind us to stay close to your spirit, close to your will, and never be departed from us. Lord, thank you that you don't forsake us or leave us. and you will never abandon us. Instead, you stay close, you remain inside of us and you close us to not walk weary, to not be afraid, to pursue righteousness and holiness. And that if we walk in the way of the Lord, you will make our path straight. So, I thank you that you are worthy of trusting and you are worthy of being submitted to you, Lord. We give you everything that we have. This is all you, Jesus. We love you. We praise you. We thank you in Jesus name. Amen. Amen.
• 76:00 - 76:30 Amen. Amen. We bless y'all. We love you guys. And we trust that God has done his thing here. Amen. And so my last encouragement to anybody who's watching is if you heard anything from this episode that deeply resonated with you, run back to the heart of the father with it. It doesn't stay here. The point of this podcast is we may have said said something that ministers to your heart. Your job is to take that to the feet of God. This is just a platform. Yep. We're
• 76:30 - 77:00 just tools and we're just vessels. Like God is ultimately going to show you exactly what you need and where you need him. So that's my last encouragement cuz I felt it on my spirit. But until then guys, we love you so much. Bye guys. And we'll see you next time. Bye.