Part 4: Thinking Collectively

Summary

The discussion in this part focuses on the interconnectedness of individual and communal health. The speakers critique how the current system promotes isolation, both physically and relationally, hindering collective well-being. They emphasize the importance of mutual, supportive community relationships for individual and collective health. Recognizing the paradigm shift from individualism to community thinking is crucial, although challenging. The speakers advocate for redefining health and success, breaking free from the 'self-sufficiency' illusion perpetuated by privilege. They highlight the role of mutuality in growth and change and call for integrating these ideas into early socialization and parenting to nurture future generations to think collectively.

Highlights

• The current system promotes relational and physical illness by isolating individuals. 😷
• There's a strategic conversation around individual versus community benefits. 🗣️
• Understanding that one person’s growth benefits both individuals and the community. 🤝
• Critique of the 'self-made' myth, emphasizing invisible essential relationships. 🧩
• Encouraging a paradigm shift in health perspectives, focusing on mutual well-being. 🌿

Key Takeaways

• Our health is deeply interconnected with our community's well-being. 🌐
• The illusion of self-sufficiency is supported by privilege and needs rethinking. 💭
• Promoting a shift from individualism to collective health can break systemic isolation. 🔄
• Mutual relationships support growth and highlight community impact. 🌱
• Advocating for early socialization changes can foster a more collective mindset. 🎓

Overview

In a world where individualism is heralded, these speakers from the Wellesley Centers for Women are challenging us to think collectively about our health and well-being. They're not just talking about how our physical health can be impacted by our social connections but are calling attention to how our system itself can make us relationally ill, driving a wedge between us and the communities that can uplift us. A shift towards viewing health through a community-centric lens can potentially reframe our understanding of well-being.

The conversation explores how the illusion of self-sufficiency, often rooted in privilege, obscures the essential web of relationships that support individual success. They discuss how mutual growth in relationships can illuminate broader community impacts. By recognizing these interconnected dynamics, the conversation advocates for broadening the current paradigm of health beyond the individual to a tapestry of social connections that define and affect collective well-being.

They propose a future where children are socialized in a manner that values mutual well-being from a young age. By integrating these principles early, communities can nurture individuals who naturally gravitate towards collective health thinking. The urgency of this cultural shift is highlighted as they discuss how challenging, yet essential, it is to dismantle entrenched notions of individuality in favor of relationships that recognize and bolster communal health.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction to the Concept of Relational Illness The chapter explores the concept of relational illness, discussing how societal systems can contribute to both dynamic relational and physical illnesses. It questions whether the ends justify the means in such situations.
• 00:30 - 01:30: Mutual Supportive Relationships in Community The chapter explores the concept of mutual supportive relationships within a community. It emphasizes that being part of a truly mutual, healthy, and supportive relationship within a community can be beneficial for individuals. The central message is the interdependence of personal improvement and community involvement. The chapter suggests that real progress and personal betterment are often intertwined with engaging in a healthy community and adopting a particular way of relating to others.
• 01:30 - 02:30: Challenges of Individualism and Interdependence The chapter discusses the strategic use of individualism in conversations, emphasizing how it impacts collective progress. It explores the challenge of viewing the success of the individual as separate from or even at the expense of others' well-being. By highlighting the interconnectedness inherent in social interactions, it encourages a shift away from zero-sum thinking—where one's improvement demands another's deterioration—toward an understanding of mutual enhancement and shared progress.
• 02:30 - 04:00: Rethinking Self-Sufficiency and Social Paradigms The chapter explores the interconnectedness of individuals and how personal experiences are part of a larger social network. It challenges the conventional notion of self-sufficiency by emphasizing that one's well-being is tied to the well-being of others. The narrative suggests that people are not accustomed to considering health and lives in a collective manner, urging a shift in perspective to see beyond oneself and recognize the impact of others on personal circumstances.
• 04:00 - 05:00: Mutual Growth and Community Impact The chapter titled 'Mutual Growth and Community Impact' reflects on the notion of self and community. It highlights a history of individualism, where people viewed themselves as distinct and separate entities. The speaker criticizes past arrogance where other cultures were labeled as primitive, emphasizing a shift towards recognizing mutual growth and community impact.
• 05:00 - 06:30: Cultural Paradigm Shifts and Personal Responsibility This chapter discusses the concept of cultural paradigm shifts in relation to health and personal responsibility. It touches upon the idea that the dominant health paradigms often emerge from privileged positions, where only some individuals afford the luxury of prioritizing strong individuality and personal health due to certain social and economic advantages. The conversation hints at the necessity of reevaluating these paradigms to accommodate a more inclusive approach to personal and public health.
• 06:30 - 07:30: Building Lasting Change through Neuroplasticity This chapter delves into the concept of neuroplasticity and its transformative potential in building lasting change in individuals. A significant focus is laid on understanding and deconstructing the often invisible yet crucial relationships people have throughout their lives. These relationships, which are foundational, are frequently underestimated when considering how individuals achieve self-sufficiency. By highlighting the importance of these social connections and understanding that growth is inherently a relational process, this discussion pivots on acknowledging the impact of neuroplasticity and evolving through interconnected experiences over the lifespan.
• 07:30 - 09:00: Integrating Social Action in Early Care The chapter discusses the concept of mutuality in relationships, emphasizing that when one person grows, both individuals in the relationship grow. This growth is reciprocal and impacts both people involved as well as their community. The chapter highlights this as a significant shift from traditional cultural and theoretical teachings, indicating a change in understanding and behavior.
• 09:00 - 10:00: Challenges of Power Dynamics in Therapy The chapter dives into the intricacies of power dynamics within therapeutic settings. It acknowledges that therapists, being part of the broader culture, can inadvertently contribute to traditional hierarchical dynamics despite their best intentions to foster a paradigm shift. This phenomenon is explored as an ongoing challenge that requires mindfulness and continuous recalibration in real-time, emphasizing the need for therapists to remain aware of cultural influences and personal biases shaping their interactions with clients.

Part 4: Thinking Collectively Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 when I think what I'm thinking about as you were talking Maureen is I'm thinking about help our system makes us fall ill said we dynamically relationally ill and it also makes us physically ill and you know do the means justify the answer
• 00:30 - 01:00 then specify means of of telling people if you are in truly mutual healthy supportive relationship in community it does benefit you you mean like so it is a message of I'm going to get better right but what time that I'm gonna get better inextricably into community into healthy community into a certain way of relating that's this as you say usually I always get
• 01:00 - 01:30 caught between you know do you use the the the individualism to learn somebody into the conversation right I mean it's a strategic conversation it is a strategic conversation but in some ways a part of the strategy is to help us move I don't see what I'm thinking that if I can only get better if you get worse yes you know how do we start to see that we are all strictly bound what
• 01:30 - 02:00 happens to you is very much a part of what is happening to me and I may not be able to see it now I may not be able to see how our lives are tied together and how your health is something that I need to be concerned about for us you know that's we aren't accustomed to thinking in that collective way it really is I have the person inside my skin not I am the person who is connected to you or to
• 02:00 - 02:30 people who were born we're going to be born and those born before me you know as we don't have much of so and we do think of selfie and I know that I remember reading this late eighties or nineties when you talked about how caught we were in this notion of a rarefied self yes no yeah no there's something distinct and separate from everyone else and now we actually have had the arrogance to call cultures primitive yes
• 02:30 - 03:00 would they have another system reach them they haven't you cinch through this stains that of you know wanting to be a strongly individuated firmly founded person who you know one what's the immature yes and if we are it really is about changing the whole paradigm of health and this interesting that that kind of paradigm comes out of privilege yes you know this again who can who can afford to look as if they are
• 03:00 - 03:30 self-sufficient that's what I was going to say that that that what part of that picture is is you make invisible right all the important relationships in a person's life and act as if they did it themselves absolutely and really deconstructing that expectation in that image I would say is a huge part of what we're trying to do I really say we grow through and toward relationship throughout the lifespan if and Jean said
• 03:30 - 04:00 this once the if in a relationship one person is growing both people are growing that that's really what mutuality is about and mutuality means really showing the impact on both people right and on the community and vice versa right though it's a huge shift I mean it's a huge shift from what we're taught to believe by the culture by by the theories well I didn't know that you know we do that we don't you know
• 04:00 - 04:30 we're part of that culture too that's also where you know we're guilty of falling into that yeah right it's sort of inherent to the work that anybody that sort of tries to move into this kind of a paradigm shift it's going to be caught so cross-culturally with your minds it happens to be personnel follow us personally but it's it's something it's a moment-to-moment taking online and
• 04:30 - 05:00 what I think of again is that you know there's the neuroplasticity how do we shape communities how do we shape human beings and you know how how then how do you sort of just open a crack in thinking of the power over models long enough for somebody to grab something else that they can play that tape over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again to make lasting change in you know they're
• 05:00 - 05:30 in catch Fielder right you know whatever is around them and you know there are times that the task feels daunting just daunting you know but obviously it's also you know we have to have some hope we can still do it and it always makes me think of the younger you get this message you know the better in the firmly believe that part of the social action needs to be really getting this kind of information into main care
• 05:30 - 06:00 centers you know the nursery of models of parenting models of pouncing we still have babies born and put in estill nuts as a visual effect it has actually a word that's right yeah escalation was in now in that is that it's a word that's not even thought twice about you know but
• 06:00 - 06:30 that that is that you know it's not there's not the hanging around you know just all of that physical you know it's it is such a basic level you know in what we've been doing for years which I think has been all of us but you know sort of treating the therapists who will treat the next generation of people who have come through this power over system right and asking them to try to open that crap a little bit you know again 50
• 06:30 - 07:00 minutes a week when the person's going back out into separation individuation for 144 hours writing at home but you know it's it's