SDST Social Awakening with Max Stossel

Summary

Highlights

• Max Stossel explains the addictive design of social media platforms using tactics similar to slot machines. 🎰
• Snapchat's streaks are highlighted as a source of social pressure among teens. 😅
• Questions from parents during the webinar emphasized concerns about AI and its potential risks. 🤖
• The importance of guiding children in intentional use of technology to avoid manipulation by platforms. 🚸
• The session encouraged parents to discuss the emotional impacts of social media use with their children. 💬

Key Takeaways

• Social media apps are designed to be addictive, similar to slot machines, using tactics like variable rewards. 🎰
• Notifications and streaks on apps like Snapchat are meant to keep users engaged and can lead to stress and anxiety. 📲
• Many teens feel pressure to maintain social media interactions, even if they don't enjoy them. 💬
• Parental guidance and intentional device usage can help mitigate the negative effects of social media on mental health. 👪
• Understanding the intentions behind app usage can lead to healthier digital habits and reduced screen time. ⏳

Overview

Chapters

• 00:00 - 01:45: Introduction and Webinar Start The chapter opens with a greeting and thanks from the host, expressing gratitude to the audience for attending the webinar. The host mentions they are awaiting the arrival of Mr. Stosel before commencing the webinar.
• 04:00 - 06:15: Introduction to Max Stossel and Social Awakening The chapter begins with an introduction to Max Stossel, focusing on his background and work in the field of social awakening. Stossel, known for his insightful perspectives on the impact of technology and media on society, is depicted as a key figure in promoting awareness and change. The chapter likely explores his initiatives, speeches, and projects aimed at highlighting the importance of mindful interaction with technology. This sets the stage for deeper discussions on the societal shifts and challenges influenced by digital media.
• 06:15 - 16:15: Max Stossel's Overview of Social Media The chapter titled 'Max Stossel's Overview of Social Media' focuses on the insights and perspectives shared by Max Stossel regarding social media. Although the transcript seems to be missing or incomplete ('e'), it can be presumed that the chapter delves into the evolving role of social media in society, its impacts on individual and collective behavior, and perhaps critiques or informs about the pros and cons associated with recurrent social media usage. Stossel might be addressing issues such as information dissemination, digital well-being, and socio-emotional effects engendered by such platforms.
• 16:15 - 30:00: Understanding Social Media Platforms and Their Impact The chapter “Understanding Social Media Platforms and Their Impact” delves into the functionalities and roles of social media platforms in contemporary society. It explores how these digital spaces facilitate communication, information sharing, and community building. The chapter also examines the potential negative impacts, such as privacy concerns and misinformation. Additionally, it discusses the influence of social media on public opinion and personal identity formation. Various platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok are analyzed to showcase their distinct features and user demographics. The chapter concludes with strategies for responsibly engaging with social media.
• 30:00 - 37:00: The Effects of Social Media and Screen Time on Mental Health The chapter examines the relationship between social media use, screen time, and mental health. It discusses how excessive use of digital devices and platforms can impact psychological well-being, leading to issues such as anxiety, depression, and stress. The chapter explores different studies and statistics to highlight the prevalence of these issues among various age groups, particularly focusing on teenagers and young adults. It also touches upon the psychological mechanisms through which social media can affect mental health, such as social comparison, cyberbullying, and addiction. Furthermore, the chapter offers insights into how individuals can mitigate these negative effects by managing their digital consumption and suggests potential interventions for healthier screen habits.
• 37:00 - 46:30: Strategies for Managing Social Media Use The chapter titled 'Strategies for Managing Social Media Use' discusses various methods that individuals and organizations can implement to regulate and optimize their social media engagement. Key strategies include setting specific time limits for daily use, utilizing digital tools to monitor and restrict usage, and establishing clear guidelines for the type of content to engage with. Emphasis is placed on the importance of mindful consumption and the potential benefits of taking regular breaks to maintain mental health and productivity. Insights from experts in digital wellbeing provide practical tips for creating a balanced relationship with social media platforms.
• 46:30 - 57:30: Audience Questions and Answers The chapter titled 'Audience Questions and Answers' seems to contain a transcription error or is incomplete, noted by the repetition of 'e e'. Therefore, a summary cannot be properly generated based on the provided text.
• 57:30 - 59:00: Conclusion and Closing Remarks In this chapter titled 'Conclusion and Closing Remarks,' the speaker expresses gratitude to the audience for their patience.

SDST Social Awakening with Max Stossel Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 good evening everyone thank you so much for joining us tonight we're just waiting for Mr stosel to join us and then we'll get this webinar started
• 00:30 - 01:00 e
• 01:00 - 01:30 e
• 01:30 - 02:00 e
• 02:00 - 02:30 e
• 02:30 - 03:00 e
• 03:00 - 03:30 e e
• 03:30 - 04:00 okay everyone thanks for your patience
• 04:00 - 04:30 um good evening Springfield Township community my name is Dr Michelle Lutz I'm the director of support services for the district I am excited to have you here tonight as part of our monthly family information Series tonight I'm
• 04:30 - 05:00 pleased to welcome Mr max stosel Mr stel is an award-winning artist and the founder of social Awakening which is both an organization and the presentation that he will share with us tonight um as a media strategist with an extensive background in social media at one time he ran social media for well-known companies before working at a social media company where he designed notifications to distract people with
• 05:00 - 05:30 his background it's no wonder why he has been able to spend the past several years speaking with over a 100,000 plus students parents and Educators around the world about the impact that social media has on our lives um max doil social Awakening is dedicated to helping young people survive and thrive in today's fast-paced world I am pleased to be able to turn over the floor um to mix Max stel who will be starting here in
• 05:30 - 06:00 just one minute hi Mr stosel you just missed my introduction for you um but we have about 50 people on uh the webinar that are very excited to hear you speak and I'm sure we'll have some others that'll be jumping in in just a minute or so amazing thank you for having me thank
• 06:00 - 06:30 you everybody for being here uh yeah my name is Max I've spent the past 10 years speaking with students parents and Educators around the world about social media's impact on our lives and relationships um the structure of what you'll see is you'll see a little bit on how social media is designed to be addictive and distracting we'll get into what are each of the big social media platforms and where are my concerns with each one as I know is very hard as a parent to stay on top of all these different things and then we'll open it up into a session and a sort of portion of the session on questions as well as best practices things like that I am not
• 06:30 - 07:00 claiming to know how to raise every child in America by any stretch of the imagination but just doing this over the years have been collecting responses from families that seem to be working well um and so I also will send a link where you can access all of that stuff as well and without further Ado let me do a quick screen share here share sound um perfect can I get like a thumbs up Michelle you can see my screen okay perfect
• 07:00 - 07:30 um so and of course and actually let me hide any video challenges there so we get it full so of course technology is amazing if you were to tell us a hundred years ago that we could have face-to-face conversations across oceans our ancestors would have had their minds absolutely blown I personally have no idea where I'm going my blue dot is not lined up on the map I'm very grateful for that one we have a camera a stopwatch a calculator a flashlight and every song that's ever been invented in our pockets that is magic we have these
• 07:30 - 08:00 magical devices in our pockets so how with these magical devices are we also seeing such an increase in stress anxiety depression chaos conflict how can something so awesome also be making such a mess and I want to zoom out and I want to look at something like this and I don't show this when I talk to the kids because this is Facebook so this is for us old people in the room but this person tagged you in a photo if we zoom out on a human level what are we saying here we're saying hey someone just took a picture of you or said something about you to everybody you know would you like know what they said hey teenager in the
• 08:00 - 08:30 most socially vulnerable time of your life would you like to know the announcement that was just made about you to your entire school and of course as social animals it's very difficult to say yeah I'm just not going to look at that and it's not just C photo it's spend the next 20 minutes because once we have your attention in these environments we are very very good at holding it in those environments and even if you said you know what that is manipulative I don't want companies to be able to play with my attention that way I'll just turn off all my notifications even still a lot of the most popular apps from for people this
• 08:30 - 09:00 is from Instagram stor Snapchat is the same way are these 24-hour environments so mentioned you in the story means the same things as tagged you in a photo what is the announcement someone just made about me except now with stories if you're not checking every day on the apps schedule you literally can't even click that so you can't see what was said about you all this is to say it is very hard to have a relationship with this stuff on our own terms because the apps are so good at kind of using us for our attention one of the reasons that this stuff works so well is some something in America that makes more
• 09:00 - 09:30 money than baseball movies and theme parks combined and that is slot machines and so how does slot machines make so much money when you play with some small amount at a time the answer is something called variable rewards fancy term for slot machine rewards basically means that when you pull a lever or you push a button sometimes you win the lights flash it feels good and sometimes you don't but you can't predict when you're going to get the Feelgood thing one of the most addictive mechanisms in the brain and so much of our phones are designed like these slot machines every time we're hitting one of those red icons we playing that slot machine of
• 09:30 - 10:00 what did I get this time what did I get this time sometimes I got the exciting thing sometimes I didn't and that keeps us checking and checking and it's not just the red dots a big trap we get caught in as parents really regularly is like the good or bad trap it's very easy to think well you know they also saw this really awesome thing on social media or I've seen them you know doing this really interesting thing so it can't all be bad and of course I am not saying that it's all bad but the good bad framework I don't think is particularly helpful because of course
• 10:00 - 10:30 there's wonderful inspiring educational you know lifechanging content on the Internet it's the whole internet but the whole design of it is like a slot machine so the things we actually love are the reward keeping us scrolling so our lived experience becomes bored bored bored wow check that out bored bored Bor bored bored bored that was funny we get this emotional hit and these unpredictable ways that keeps us scrolling for hours and hours at a time um what you're looking at here is a screenshot from Snapchat Snapchat is the
• 10:30 - 11:00 number one messaging app for teenagers a lot of the ways that we use text teens just use Snapchat as the main way that they are texting and communicating back and forth these little numbers and emojis that you see on the side are something called Snapchat streaks if I send you a message on Snapchat and you send me one back within 24 hours every day we do that streak gets longer and longer so that's 230 days in a row at the top there I want you to watch the hands in the room which happens at every school I go to as we talk about using these Snapchat streaks compared to liking
• 11:00 - 11:30 them can please I don't want your half hands give me whole hands if you have Snapchat if you use Snapchat give me your whole hands please keep your hands high if you have some kind of streak going any streaks going keep your hands high if you like streaks and it's a powerful moment in the room because they get to recognize hey we're doing something here we don't actually like doing and it becomes this chore where a lot of kids will say yeah I don't actually like this stuff but I feel I have to keep doing it if we break
• 11:30 - 12:00 the streak are we really friends or what does it say about me if I don't have a lot of streaks going uh with with somebody else and so we think of teenagers is loving the Social Media stuff I don't think most of the time they actually love it I think most of the time it feels like this chore that they have to do if we can it all be in control of this trying to not let Snapchat be the main place where teens are having their conversations and making actual messaging apps like group me messenger text even WhatsApp letting those be the main place for texting and not having social media be the main place for for texting really does make a
• 12:00 - 12:30 big difference um a lot of this is called gamification of our social lives and the gaming companies are very very good at these tricks um Roblox and fortnite are very popular games at the moment if your kids are playing a lot of video games right now a good term to know is loot boxes and loot crates loot boxes and loot crates are literally slot machines for kids um literally slot machines for kids not to say these games aren't fun just they is a whole industry making it very very difficult to put this stuff down sometimes we experien this as parents saying hey I'm trying to call my child to dinner and they say I
• 12:30 - 13:00 can't come to dinner right now I am you know going to lose points or I'm going to let my friends down there's very careful social engineering done in these games that makes it very very difficult to put them down I'm personally a fan of drawing a line at your fake digital world is not going to be important more important than a real one if you don't want to lose points don't start the game but I know that's easier said than done in your own households um in terms of spending real money in these games you could make an argument there's not a big difference between like buying a skin in a game skin is another word for an
• 13:00 - 13:30 outfit for a player or an outfit that you wanted to buy growing up but the big difference here is is that you're in the casino so these companies are very good at using these tricks like you only have three minutes left you have to get this now or if you don't get this you can't really beat the level or play the game you want to play I'm not saying never put money in these environments but I am saying like take a deep breath no impulse purchases in the casino is in general A good rule um fortnite had to pay $500 million in class action lawsuits for tricking people into buying stuff they didn't want to buy so with all of this because it can be so
• 13:30 - 14:00 persuasive it's really helped to ask ourselves and our kids am I using this technology or is this technology using me am I here on purpose am I doing this because I actually want to or am I being used right now for somebody else to make money off of me and to you know use my attention and one helpful way of figuring that out is asking ourselves which apps and games make me feel good after and which ones leave me feeling with regret after um really helpful thing to think of as a parent not just oh do you like that what you doing really focusing on how does this feel
• 14:00 - 14:30 during and after use is a much more productive conversation I was a gamer growing up I would play this game Halo for like hours at a time do you ask me if I liked it I would have said yeah I like it do you ask me how it made me feel or how it's impacting my life during an after use would have been a better question because for the first hour excited into it having a good time honestly the next three hours I was mostly stressed and angry trying to get to the next level and then afterwards this drained empty feeling of like what just happened if you've ever scrolled a lot on social media you can probably
• 14:30 - 15:00 relate to that after feeling of like what just happened so focusing not just on do you like this but how does this feel during and after really helpful for having more productive conversations um and so this is a little bit out of date but we asked about six years ago we asked 200,000 people which apps or games make you feel good after and which ones leave you feeling with regret and you have these patterns that start to come up so on the left you have mostly utilities things we get in and out of quickly like I check my calendar or the weather and then I close the app um audio listening to music podcasts Audi
• 15:00 - 15:30 books made people feel good after predictably in meditation apps made people feel good after exercise apps made people feel good after and on the right you have overwhelmingly gaming apps dating apps and social media apps that people are spending the most time on and are left feeling with the most regret afterwards and of course not everybody who uses this stuff is happy with it or unhappy with it but what this strange smiley face craft is showing is basically that people who are happy with their use are spending about three times less than people who are unhappy with their use so the people who use this
• 15:30 - 16:00 stuff more like it less people who use it less like it more so we're just not really on the same team as the people building these products when it's their job to get us to use it for as long as they possibly can um but we can get overly concerned I think with the amount of time that we're on this a very common question I get is how much time is the right amount of screen time but it so depends on what is happening on the screen there's a very big difference between an hour on Spotify and an hour on Tik Tok those are very different behaviors um but the research is also pretty clear that screen time is less the enemy than social media being the
• 16:00 - 16:30 enemy in terms of Teen Mental Health um so I'm going to go through what are the main social media platforms and what are my concerns with each of them we talked about Snapchat a little bit the number one messaging app for teenagers streaks being a big deal what's your snap has replaced what's your number in a lot of cultures so especially as teens start flirting they like having an answer to what's your snap uh teenagers have been told that everything on the internet lasts forever so the fact that snaps disappear after they're opened is refreshing you can't really assume they're going to disappear any school
• 16:30 - 17:00 will tell you they spend plenty of time in the disciplinary office dealing with things that have come up on Snapchat um but it's more disappearing than others app other apps are if naked pictures are being sent back and forth this is usually the place where that's happening um sadly we see a lot of this going on in today's world uh often we see mental health challenges come up of usually a young girl sends pictures to a teenage boy teenage boy does not keep that picture to himself and you have mental health challenges or reputational challenges you can get into the child pornograph graphy territory here
• 17:00 - 17:30 obviously we don't want this happening with our kids um but if this is happening with our kids it's really important to be kind of managing our own shock and horror and like meeting them with like being with them and what's happening in their experience um there's so much going on in this digital world that's very hard to stay on top of the more as parents they we can be a place where they can tell us anything and talk to us about anything that really does go a long way um what I'm about to show you is not appropriate I do not show it to students when I'm talking to students if you're watching this with any younger kids you might want to have them look
• 17:30 - 18:00 away at this moment um but what I'm about to show you is uh if I sign up for any one of these social media apps I happen to be picking on Snapchat here but this is true of any social media app um oh wow I'm 13 years old I'm finally legally old enough to be on this app I tell the app I'm 13 I'm a boy I hit one button so and this is what happens right away so I sign up for Snapchat I say I'm 13 I hit one button that has a little red dot under it and then this is what starts playing right away the
• 18:00 - 18:30 so as you can see it's not all
• 18:30 - 19:00 inappropriate um but like a slot machine it tends to Trend in these very specific directions every once in a while giving a reward whatever that might mean for The Watcher um so a good way to think about this stuff as a parent is any content on social media if any social media were a movie it would be rated nc7
• 19:00 - 19:30 um all social media apps if there were movies they would be rated nc7 sometimes there'll be younger people at my parent sessions I'll say did I get anything wrong and once a sophomore girl said what you showed like that's not what I'm watching on social media and I was like oh great that stuff doesn't come up and she said well no it comes up all the time but if you scroll past it fast it doesn't come up as much so I'm not saying this is all our kids are watching on social media but in terms of what they'll be exposed to nc7 is absolutely a way that we can think about this stuff um another thing on Snapchat there's
• 19:30 - 20:00 something called Snap map thanks to the new Snapchat update you can ask you and your friends don't invite you somewhere um obviously it's no fun to be physically left out and see that we're being physically left out this way but also it's more nuanced than that because sometimes as a human being you want to hang out with one friend today and not three others like that's fine but now there's this weird added element of wait I saw you were over there now you're going to see that I was over here it just creates this added stress and strangeness in our relationships that maybe doesn't need to be there um if your kids are talking to anybody they don't know on Snapchat I don't recommend
• 20:00 - 20:30 that but if they are um really important that uh really important they have ghost mode on um ghost mode turns off your location you don't want strangers to be able to like see where your kids are on uh in physical space um really important the ghost mode be on if they're ever talking to anyone they don't know and again I don't recommend that they be on the stuff to begin with but if that is happening especially if for talking to strangers really important that location be off um you might remember in Middle School how important it felt who your best friends are are Snapchat has gamified that with a best friends list
• 20:30 - 21:00 showing people how of you know the person you send the most snaps to is your Snapchat best friend um so you know things like wait that's my best friend why are they someone else's best friend on Snapchat just creating all of this stress and drama and once teens start doing this stuff it's very hard to get them off of it um all of the stuff like Snapchat does a lot of very manipulative things including well if you pay them then if you break a streak you can get it back or if you pay them you can see if somebody swipes a little little bit on your message but doesn't all the way
• 21:00 - 21:30 it's just like a lot of manipulative stuff that makes it very hard for teens to get off Snapchat once they start the more you can have the regular messaging app be not social media but regular text goes really a long way moving over to Instagram here there's a good documentary called childhood 2.0 they create an Instagram account for this girl that you're seeing a picture of right here they post nine pictures and they start a timer and in 90 seconds she's getting the messages that you're seeing on the screen I'm a teacher liby I know things I help lots of young people like you um video calls hey how
• 21:30 - 22:00 old are you that's in 90 seconds after posting some pictures a private account is the bare minimum but even still there's another folder where messages do get through um when I give talks to middle schoolers and I say one elephant in the room is how many creepy old people are commenting on your photos and videos their hands are shooting up that that is really happening all the time really important that especially for younger kids they know that the stranger danger element of the Internet is real like that they shouldn't get in any trouble for just blocking these people but like really important to know that someone messaging them is not their
• 22:00 - 22:30 friend teen boys get it a little bit differently they get flirted with by these accounts that are pretending to be teenage girls that usually then link them off to a porn site or like a webcam site the darkest side of this are these sextortion cases where they'll send a naked picture and they'll say now you send me one of your body and once they have a picture of the boy they say if you don't pay me X dollar then you'll I'm going to show this to everybody you know um these like this this is happening there's a resource called uh cyber report tip which will be on the website that I send around but cyber
• 22:30 - 23:00 report tip is the best resource I know for rather than the police of the platforms trying to get these taken down and dealt with um people doing that to others go to jail for doing it and again if that's happening to our kids always making sure that they get help and not in trouble trust me their worlds are already crumbling if something like that is happening um and truly they don't need to seek this stuff out let's say you're a 13-year-old you're following some sports accounts the first comment on the sports account don't look at my story if you don't want to masturbate what what is that why that have a thousand likes click and you're on a
• 23:00 - 23:30 very different side of the internet um again like it's just very easy to fall down these rabbit holes for teenagers and nc7 content that is really coming at them actively they don't need to se out search out is a good way of thinking about these things very violent as well um on all these platforms some teenagers in Virginia recently were telling me how in about two minutes you might see someone dying in a horrific way on Instagram again nc7 in terms of content rating um what is Instagram Instagram's a lot like Facebook basically a way of sharing memes pictures and videos of
• 23:30 - 24:00 themselves and with their friends um one thing that concerns me about Instagram is it's like the picture perfect life app teens seem to care more about how something looks on social media or Instagram than how it is in real life um having each moment kind of judged for its worth and all the popularity Dynamics you might remember uh in middle school and high school now gamified follower counts like counts making it a very very hard time to be a teenager um looking in terms of body image I would say Instagram Tik Tok and Snapchat are probably the big three in
• 24:00 - 24:30 terms of what is uh like really doing a number on a special 18 girl body image what you're looking at here is a filter where the girl on the left would look into the camera and see the woman on the right moving as she moves there have always been imposs beauty standards that's not new social media didn't create that but what is new here are these personalized filters that people feel totally good about how they're looking they go into these apps and then they have new insecurities that pop up of oh are my lips supposed to look like that my eyes supposed to look like that is my skin supposed to look like that
• 24:30 - 25:00 just creates new insecurities that weren't there before um if your kids are having body image problems I would say t less time on these apps fewer selfies fewer filters more time in the real world really might go a long way moving over to Tik Tok here um Tik Tok is probably the most like time spent right now app for young people at the moment mostly they're watching Dance videos funny videos and celebrity videos but there's a everything is on Tik Tok there's a huge variety of different subjects and content on Tik Tok um nc7
• 25:00 - 25:30 is absolutely the content rating some really intense stuff can get through the cracks there both explicitly violently like very much an nc7 movie to be scrolling on these platforms one thing that's different about Tik Tok is the imitation of common Trends and challenges um so you know I some teenagers if I'm have I'm asking them what are you most worried about about these apps some of them will say Tik Tok they'll be like these Trends are not good like eat a raw chicken or get in the bath as hot as possible things that younger kids especially might not know
• 25:30 - 26:00 are dangerous um I gave a presentation in Michigan there were 100 Schools represented in the room I it was Educators they were asking me about this Tik Tok Trend where kids were ripping stuff off the walls and bathrooms and filming it they were like what is this and I said how many schools here did not have that happen and two schools out of the 100 did not have people ripping stuff off the walls and filming it um you hear a lot in the news about Tik Tok being a Chinese company and are they data stealing I'm not that worried about data stealing I am worried a Chinese algorithm has such influence over what
• 26:00 - 26:30 teenagers are doing in the world to the point that they'll rip stuff out of the walls of bathrooms and film it that has me more concerned in China they do not allow their own kids to use Tik Tok as we know it they have something different over there called dyang and if you're under 17 it has an automatic 40-minute limit and is mostly science experiment videos it's almost like they said we'll give our kids one thing the rest of the world something else and see where everybody Nets out in the space race or whatever it is we're doing with China these days and I can't tell Tik tok's all bad there's lots of interesting
• 26:30 - 27:00 educational funny content on there um I personally learned that if you do this to a squirrel in the park sometimes it comes towards you I'm happy to know it with all of this stuff Tech is a trade a really helpful way of thinking about these apps are it's a trade yes we're sometimes going to get value out of these but we're trading something and in the vast majority of instances I do not think that this trade is worthwhile um Discord also very popular I'm not nearly as worried about Discord as I am some of these other apps it's basically a messaging app um but be
• 27:00 - 27:30 careful who you're talking to on it and you know it's an anonymous platform so got to watch out in that way but if you used AOL Instant Messenger when you were younger Discord is a lot like AOL Instant Messenger um mostly messaging and voice conversations with friends and strangers often around one topic or one game um careful who you talk to it's an internet platform and on any Anonymous platform you're going to have people saying really awful stuff on the internet that is going to happen um if you hear your kids repeating this stuff definitely want to nip that in the bud a good principle for all of this is if
• 27:30 - 28:00 we're watching the stuff with our kids or asking them to narrate or tell us what they're doing as they're doing it that often has them like put uh put a little bit more context and like realize that oh these are things that it actually doesn't feel good to say out loud like you might have more awareness of it um we'll move fast here uh YouTube another very popular one for teens at the moment you're probably familiar with YouTube it's basically a big video library what teenagers are doing on it for the most part is watching Vlogs which are like video blogs people talking about their life into the camera
• 28:00 - 28:30 um gaming videos which is watching other people play video games which at first I found confusing but as you really start to think about that they're basically watching people do something that they like to do but do it more professionally then they know how to do it which is exactly what watching sports is and maybe it's weird that we watch sports but that's another conversation um makeup tutorials are another big category of content especially for teen girls but it's YouTube there's everything is up there on YouTube so the key distinction with YouTube is
• 28:30 - 29:00 when we use it with intention and when we use the search bar YouTube can be a great tool for learning but if we are just sitting back and watching what the algorithms feed us we are not learning at all we are learning and I will get into what I mean by that but YouTube with intention how to how to build a table how to tie a tie YouTube's amazing for things like that but if we're just sitting back and watching the next video in the next video in the next video we are not learning at all really important to try to watch what we mean to watch on YouTube and then get out and I'll get into why if you were to search if the
• 29:00 - 29:30 Earth is round or flat on Google 20% of the results would tell you it's flat 35% of YouTube search results would tell you it's flat but 90% of YouTube recommendations on this subject 90% would tell you the Earth is flat um and the vast majority of content on YouTube is from recommendations 70% of all their traffic is what their videos recommend is what the algorithms recommend um so it's a huge amount of content that is being pushed towards the most extreme version of whatever you are already
• 29:30 - 30:00 likely to believe so that's what all of these algorithms do picking on YouTube picking on Facebook a little bit here but all attention algorithms that on from an ideological standpoint they tend to push towards the most extreme version of whatever your brain was already interested in and already likely to believe so an example of this from politics from 2016 um this misinformation researcher named zap teski was researching the election and she would watch some Trump videos and she noticed she was getting pushed more and more extreme authoritarian videos and she was eventually being recommended
• 30:00 - 30:30 straight up clue clux Clan videos she would watch a Bernie Sanders video she get pushed more and more extreme socialism videos and then eventually was getting these conspiracy left of planes are dumping chemicals out of the sky and other conspiracy theories and it's not just politics she'd watch a dieting video get pushed more and more extreme dieting videos and then eventually these pro-anorexia lifestyle content videos she would watch a vegetarian video get pushed more and more extreme vegetarian videos veganism videos and then eventually how we should need any honey products because those come from bees
• 30:30 - 31:00 it's like you're never hardcore enough for the internet what does our country look like when 360 million people are pushed towards the most extreme versions of whatever they were already likely to believe think we're living inside of that right now it's very easy to look at the slide and have the thought in your head yeah that's how those crazy people got so crazy yes also I'm talking to you I'm talking to me we are all being pushed towards the most extreme versions of whatever we are already likely to believe some of the hard work here is looking inward at how this is happening
• 31:00 - 31:30 to us we need to have more conversations in person more we can hear tone and see each other's faces like assuming best intent the best way possible um it's ridiculous that we've ported so much digital like political conversation into these boxes as no one would ever choose this direction of more and more extremes to the world what is all of this doing to our mental health couple of examples um one around multitasking some people say teens are just going to figure out a better way of multitasking but little known fact about this generation is they're not different species of human
• 31:30 - 32:00 beings and human beings are not capable of visually multitasking we're actually just switching our attention back and forth really fast between two tasks um so the phone is such a multitasking device researchers out of the University of Chicago found that people who had their phones in another room did significantly better on cognitive tasks than people who had their phones even off and on their desks or off and in a pocket or bag um so the way that I talk about this to the kids is I say you want to do five points better in school study with the phone outside the room take
• 32:00 - 32:30 tests with the phone outside the room that's one really easy way to get your grades up from like a 78 to an 83 Five Points difference on tests of getting the phones out of the room um one obvious reason to have phones be away for the day in school but even more than academically why I am a huge proponent of phones away for the day at school um not just like in the classroom but like Bell to Bell is socially and that it's never been easier to run away from ourselves now the moment things get a little bit awkwarder on un comfortable we got that device right here or if
• 32:30 - 33:00 we're bored we just going run away from that boredom immediately um this seven eight hour period during the day that kids used to learn Focus patience how to be with their devices how to deal with discomfort how to walk across a room and talk to each other like those are skills that are just not being learned in the same way and is are being learned so much better in phone away for the day schools um we're seeing a big movement of this happening more and more I think we'll look back in five years and be like oops Yeah we really should not have had any phones in schools this obviously
• 33:00 - 33:30 should be taken out um I really support schools moving in that direction towards K through 12 like as the default phone's away for the day um yes there'll be exceptions and like of course let's be reasonable um but letting the Baseline be that we don't have these devices that makes a huge difference socially um we have an open call out of any school that's done this that regretted it please let us know zero we've seen zero schools who have adopted this actually regret it highly recommend phone away for the day policy some messers from te messages from
• 33:30 - 34:00 teenagers here I was 10 when my parents first gave me a tablet my only form of social media for a while was Pinterest but I've been quickly introduced to porn and rape and lots else I was pretty much addicted at 11 but by 12 I realized how wrong and gross it was for a kid in my age to be thinking and looking at stuff like that it took a while but I disciplined myself and I got out of it I'm 15 now and no one in my life knows what happened um I'm not here to judge about porn but porn is terrible sex headed and if kids are learning about sex love and intimacy from porn that's really setting them so setting them up for not good experiences in real life um
• 34:00 - 34:30 research is showing that most kids have seen some kind of porn by nine now um can be awkward to have conversations with kids about this stuff at Young ages but if we're not talking to them about it younger then the education they're getting is from social media and porn and that's not doing anybody any favors this is from Jonathan Height's research um he has a bestselling book right now called the anxious generation which is on these topics he's the best resource for like research I know he really does a very good job of like engaging with anyone who disagrees with
• 34:30 - 35:00 him and like you know letting the CR like really rebutting critics in a deep and thoughtful way um sadly we're seeing this huge spike in anxiety depression self harm suicide right around when social media got popular it is looking clearer and clearer social media really not good for Teen Mental Health um very hard to create causal relationships in research but like it does seem like we are seeing a pretty causal relationship between social media and the decline in Teen Mental Health also from research perspective this one out of sapan labs in 2023 um the later the age of the
• 35:00 - 35:30 first smartphone the better the mental health outcome on a huge variety of different metrics I know this can be a really hard fight to fight as a parent especially when the biggest lie that teens are telling these days is I'm the only one in my grade who doesn't have a smartphone we'll get into practically some steps of how to do this um but like it's really worth the fight I've spoken to so many parents who have said they're so happy they waited waiting for the first parent to tell me they wish they gave a kid a smartphone sooner if that's you my door is open but it really just seems like a very clear-cut thing it is
• 35:30 - 36:00 worth this fight also there was a professor an NYU professor at my parent talk recently she said also the kids who had strict parents once they're in college they're bragging about that with phones they're like I fought tooth and nail but I really see now how that was for my benefit and helpful so there is light at the end of the tunnel if you can hold out hearing all of this before you panic and rip the phones away from your kids um a couple of things here one is 10% of the suicide attempts related to these issues used uh ER nurses say the last thing that happened before was
• 36:00 - 36:30 a parent panicked blamed everything on the phone ripped it away um as much as these devices can exacerbate mental health issues sometimes that's also the only place they know how to talk to a person they feel seen and supported by I'm not saying never take devices away I think we need to take devices away um but just always making sure our kids know how they can reach someone they feel seen and supported by if they needed to when we're taking a device away so just coupling that is really important and conversations just work a whole lot better than shame across the
• 36:30 - 37:00 board especially with like the sex dorion stuff inappropriate content stuff I love you thank you so much for being brave enough to tell me goes so much further and also involves managing our own emotion and shock and horror managing our own outrage and really being there with our child when they're going through something like this how do we talk to our kids about this stuff um so the angle that I have found to be most helpful is you know kids don't respond well to the tug of war when I go into schools I'm really going from a perspective being like hey came from the industry let me show you how this stuff
• 37:00 - 37:30 is designed so you can make your own decisions about how much and how often you want to use it you're being manipulated by these tech companies kids do not like being manipulated planning on that and letting the tech companies be the bad guy and you being on the same team seems to go a long way but the hardest part of this is leading by example we like to Pretend This is a kids problem yeah this is just a kid's problem but we're no we're all struggling with different forms of this in our own ways um a couple things that are helpful for leading by example um if
• 37:30 - 38:00 I'm ever on my device around younger kids I'm always narrating what I'm doing so hey yes my phone buzzed I want to check to see if this is your mom your dad the hospital work I'm going to look and then I'm going to put it down or I know I've been on my like screens a lot today this is how we put food on the table I'm not scrolling I'm not just playing a game or yeah I'm scrolling I'm playing a game I'm an adult I want to do this for 30 minutes maybe you can help me stop after 30 minutes um just adding that context really goes a long way kids are very sensitive to the hypocrisy of
• 38:00 - 38:30 get off your screens from behind our own phones they learn a lot of this from us so leading by example really goes a long way these devices are very good ones to know about in today's world little tough to describe but you could say that they're kind of like they make phone calls like uh like phones like phones these are phones and I'm being ridiculous but we call smartphones phones phone is very little of what we use the smartphone for um a lot of these are even more than phone they have music they have GP yes um this is Light phone on the left gab in the middle Trum me on
• 38:30 - 39:00 the right flip phones are always an option there are plenty of much friendlier devices that we can give to kids as opposed to giving them a supercomputer self-comparison machine infinite access to everything machine and porn machine what's the right age to give our kid one of those I think if we called it that we'd probably think of something different but what's the right age to give our kids a more like adult or some more age appropriate phone I don't have a problem with middle schoolers having something like this but one of the best things we can do as parents is delay the introduction to smartphones and social media um so wait
• 39:00 - 39:30 until 8th is a community that like we gets it's a organization that gets communities together and says we're all going to collectively wait until at least the end of 8th grade to give the first smartphone so this is also aligned with Jonathan Heights work but end of eth grade for first smartphone 16 for social media is a nice thing to Rally around as a group even if you're not doing this as a whole Community just even getting together with your kids friends parents and getting on the same page about this can go a very long way I've had Parents tell me like it was
• 39:30 - 40:00 just her best friend I was just got together with her best friend's mom we stayed on the same page about that and that made all the difference this is wait until 8th not wait until 8 community in Texas got that wrong had not such a good time remembering that question how does this app or game make you feel during an after use it will go much further than just do you like it and like the stuff you're using um there are parental control tools for these uh especially for the big platforms um it's called screen time for iOS digital Android digital well-being for Android sadly there is no parental control tool
• 40:00 - 40:30 that is going to solve all of this for you a lot of parents are very happy with something called custodio or some like this bark phone there's like a bunch of different things that are helpful for monitoring but it's very hard to stay on top of all of this things update and then they don't work anymore it's just hard to stay on top of all of this as a parent um Chris McKenna from the protect young eyes project is the best resource I know for the nitty-gritty of parental control tools um but it just is sadly really hard to stay on top of this and
• 40:30 - 41:00 most like I would say parents who are like oh no I have it locked down I have a password your kids probably know the password unless you're using a password that's totally different from your other passwords most of the kids I talk to just know their parents screen time password just as a heads up um device free dinners are a good way to uh like parents and kids together saying we're all going to try to not um not be on not try we're not going to be on devices during at the dinner table some families will say this is the best thing we did as a family period just knowing that every night we're going to eat together as a family um zones in the house like
• 41:00 - 41:30 this can be really helpful another good device fore zone is bed um blue light really messes with our sleep even if we're sleeping a lot we're not sleeping as well if we're looking at the phone right before bed often a lot of parents are struggling with this um and some parents will say oh we're doing this well we have a charging station in the kitchen and we always put our devices there before we went into bed and then kids just did that when they got old enough to get their own um it's not too late to start you haven't done that but you doing it too will go way further
• 41:30 - 42:00 than just asking our kids to do it um having like a charging station in another room and not taking our devices into bed with us if that's possible can be really helpful um in terms of deleting toxic apps it's really important to focus on the replacement Behavior the process I walk kids through is I ask them what's the one app you know is not good for you um they think about that they sort of laugh and they say which it is then then I say uh you know like talk about why and then are you willing to try for a week deleting that that app and seeing how it
• 42:00 - 42:30 feels sometimes they'll just like not know what to do with themselves without it helping them figure out what the replacement behavior is going to be goes a really long way but there's so many different behaviors that we can do that will compensate for some of the things we might miss in these apps like with Tik Tok you can do a lot of the things we do on Tik Tok without the app itself Snapchat what they're mostly wanting is to talk with our friends help them talk with their friends in other ways in other like apps and other locations um the replacement behavior is very helpful to think about this has been the single most helpful thing for me in managing my own social
• 42:30 - 43:00 media use this is an app called on SEC you can set it up for social media or games or whatever you like if I try to open a social media app on my phone instead of opening it tells me to take a very long deep breath and so I take a long deep breath and immediately I can think okay do I actually want to be here right now it's going to show me how many times I've tried to open this app in the last 24 hours the big button says I don't want to open the app and if I say nope I do I want to go into the app it's going to ask me what my intention is and I have to tell it why I'm going into the app
• 43:00 - 43:30 right now I like to write in my own because the more specific you get I find the more helpful it is and it often will then send this reminder of you're here to make a video this is what you're here to do so as the video starts playing distractions come in I have my reminder this is what I'm here to do in terms of adding intentionality I have found one sec to be really very helpful for handling problematic apps it's free for one app I pay like two bucks a month to put it on as many as you want um I have found that personally worth it in my own life kids are very tentative about like paying for any apps I'm like if you tell
• 43:30 - 44:00 your parents this is why you want that I'm pretty sure a lot of them would be happy to do it I have personally found it very helpful a lot of us use our phones as our alarm clocks and then our first thoughts of our day are not our own thoughts wake up or groggy we immediately hit with all this other stuff just like waking up um thinking your own thoughts first thing in the morning physical alarm clocks just $8 on Amazon really good way of starting your own day uh without a little bit without so much stress and immediate behind this I know I'm throwing a lot at you and it can be overwhelming I think one of the
• 44:00 - 44:30 best things that we can do as parents uh is really just like thinking holistically about our kids not just focusing on the screen first but the kid first how are they doing socially emotionally academically and in the problem areas yeah let's look at what you're watching let's look at social media how is that impacting things um but starting kid first and not screen first I think is a better way of keeping our sanity as we try to parent in this digital age and also this is hard it's really hard there's never been a bigger Gap app and how kids are growing up and their parents grew up like be gentle
• 44:30 - 45:00 with yourselves it is very hard to parent in today's world the only other Trend that seems to correlate in the giant decline in teens with highly in like Teen Mental Health is the decline in free play we're not letting kids be kids anymore we're not you know just like letting them go out fall down make mistakes get back up we're overprotecting kids in the physical world and underprotection them in the digital world and especially if we're locking things down more online making sure we're creating spaces where they can just like play and have freedom in their own ways and Independence in their
• 45:00 - 45:30 own ways in the real world um away forthe day.org great resource that helps schools Implement a way for the day policies um all of this will be in the the link that I send um I throw a lot at you just now I want to open it up to questions and discussions this is the link that I'm going to send you um you have to enter your email and a password but it'll be then you'll see all the things on the page you don't have to pay to get in um and then you can download anything you want from that page um but I would love to open things up right now for any questions any like anything you're doing really well in
• 45:30 - 46:00 your household that you want to brag about and let other families know about um but yeah thank you all for listening for your time and for your attention I will stop the screen share now if anybody wants to raise your hand I can pull you off of mute so you can directly ask your question that was a ton of great information it's a lot just threw right
• 46:00 - 46:30 at you I'll also put in the link yeah also I'm sure send it around but I'll put in the chat the the link as well anyone have any questions that they would like to ask there we go got a raised hand go
• 46:30 - 47:00 ahead hey hey thanks my name is relle can you hear me yes yes to meet you yeah yeah so I loved um yeah I loved all the information was so great I have uh younger kids they're like eight and 10 and we're just starting to you know use the computer and the tablet as a tool and we like look stuff up on YouTube and my question veers off this subject a little bit but about like AI cuz you know you start to have to make like a
• 47:00 - 47:30 Google account and then like they want a picture on there and I'm curious what if you have any information in like that realm you know you get you get all all this stuff about Ai and all the stuff they can do about pictures do you have any information about that um do you just mean in terms of the dangers of like what can happen with AI with kids pictures and voices on the internet yeah should there be you know getting started a kid and you start
• 47:30 - 48:00 making the Google accounts or the iCloud accounts like what's your feeling on you know those like stepping stones um yeah I don't think I I don't have a problem with the accounts being made the places where you can know that like are riskier and we are seeing some of these happen and a good thing to be aware of is once kids pictures and voices are up on the Internet like especially with voices some parents are getting from AI calls from that sound like they're from their kids in trouble
• 48:00 - 48:30 but they're from like a strange number and then because it's their voice parents of course think it's happening and that's a very emotional situation where people are susceptible to scams and things like that and there are like with kids pictures on the internet people can take pictures and do things with AI and with technology to alter those pictures and so you know to each their own on how much you want to endure the risk of that but just in terms of setting up an account itself just like with a profile picture and a name I don't think that's where a lot of the risk is all right that's great yeah thanks again
• 48:30 - 49:00 this was a this was a great presentation it was really informative absolutely thanks for being here and thanks for asking yeah I unmuted you you had your hand raised for a question he what was the name of that app um that pops up before you open the social media ones again what was that called again one sec o n c thank you yeah absolutely I have found it very helpful I have it for all social media and for the chess app on my phone
• 49:00 - 49:30 and I have been very grateful to have that Becky you had a question as well yeah hi thanks again uh for great presentation um it sounds to me like based on what you shared it's more so the social media apps and less so the actual phone um because one of the things that I've experienced is you know you talked about free play and and the autonomy for um my son to make play
• 49:30 - 50:00 dates and hang out with his friends and go to the park um you know like even in today's society just he wants to ride his bike somewhere so giving him the option to have his you know phone or Smartwatch we have not allowed any social media apps and I um I know the dangers of those obviously in addition to what you shared tonight so what would be your your thoughts on that and you know is that something that we you would in carriage or or what yeah and so
• 50:00 - 50:30 that's like I have so much less problem with like the dumb phones and then the realistically it's just if you're not like someone who really knows Tech really well it's just very practically difficult to give kids a smartphone and actually lock down all the social media browsers hard Stu like easy access to all sorts of other content and so it just like for practical and parent sanity reasons it seems much easier to do it with a dumb phone um there like all I've had a couple parents in different parent sessions be like I've
• 50:30 - 51:00 really locked it down and like I really know what I'm doing and they've all like they worked in it and like they're like I really know how to do that and so if you really know how to do that then I think it's not too hard to do it with a regular iPhone or a regular Android but it's just you're opening yourself up to a much more difficult experience trying to do it that way um and then just in terms of tracking physical location I have so much empathy for this in that like if my mom had the ability to track me everywhere I went there is a 0% chance that you would not have done that
• 51:00 - 51:30 literally all of the time um but just I think it's just like inv like it takes a real checking ourselves on how much we're looking at that how much when do we want to do that when do we not want to do that when is that sort of like a breach on the Independence that we're talking about and just recognizing what we're really managing there is our own parental anxiety and just being aware of that and trying to make educated decisions about how often we're doing that and uh you know and with the trade is in those
• 51:30 - 52:00 environments um yeah it's just like you said I really like the line you said that we're locking down free play in the physical world but we are under you know supportive and protective of what's happening in the digital world so I think it's just a mindset shift that we all kind of have to start to think about so abely and it's easier to do it together than it is alone preach Amen to that Allison you're up next hi thanks this has been really helpful
• 52:00 - 52:30 and and very timely um this week my fourth grade son he's um he's 10 years old he came home and asked us if he could download cover story and his understanding was that it was a safe version of Tik Tock and it wasn't something that I was familiar with but I tried to look into it on bark and it certainly seems to be marketing itself as a safe form of Tik Tock because uh there's no messaging in in the app itself but you know my husband and I had
• 52:30 - 53:00 this conversation and it seems like it's perhaps training children how to engage with social media and and although I think there's perhaps a benefit to learning how to do it safely I just wonder what you think about these these newer apps that are are maybe limiting some of the um the communication with strangers but perhaps still feed into some of the negative
• 53:00 - 53:30 aspects of social media yeah it's I think a lot of these apps have good intentions and it's just really hard to actually lock any of this down in any kind of real way and one mental framework thing that could be helpful is often like our brain naturally goes to it's like okay what's a better app but just to zoom out for a second and think like what's the qu like what's the human thing we're solving for here like they want okay you want Tik Tok like you want Tik Tok why for what well that's what
• 53:30 - 54:00 everybody's doing like okay we're not just going to do it because everybody's doing it but you're wanting to fit in and socialize more what are activities that actually feel good fitting in and socializing that feel fun how can we replace the time with that as opposed to like this light version of whatever the you know this potentially very harmful thing is and so I think just like the more we can be getting out of like what's a better App instead and into like what's the behavior right now that like would make sense and what are some options for that behavior um a lot of kids also like the challenge is
• 54:00 - 54:30 everything's so available all the time it's like right here parents have never had more competition for attention that's just there out and about all of the time so it also involves like being like okay hey I get that you want Tik Tok we're not doing that you're looking for something to do with your time or something to do with friends you don't know what to do with right now we're going to try a different thing when you're feeling that craving every week and 75% of it is not going to feel fun but every once in a while we're going to find a fun thing we're going to do that uh and that's what we're going to do instead but just like Shifting the
• 54:30 - 55:00 mindset from this like let's replace it with another app to just opening our minds to what's the behavior we want to replace it with and I recognize it's easier said than done but the more we can think that way I think the better I really appreciate that I think it kind of took me S by surprise because I was like wait we're not doing these things oh no wait now there's new things I need to learn about um but I think that's really helpful and that is very close to what I told my son is that you know I'm going to try to make a bigger effort to make sure that he can connect with his friends and if that means me
• 55:00 - 55:30 you know organizing more ways for him to do that than I have previously then you know we're committed to doing it but aw it's just really great to hear because I I think as a parent you know the situation just keeps evolving and so we just have to constantly keep evaluating it and for everyone too like that I really want to empower your own instincts one thing I see from parents all over the world is that they're like yeah this feels really wrong and really off but it's like I guess this is the
• 55:30 - 56:00 future like I guess everyone's doing this so okay they have to learn it like it's not normal like What's Happening Here is not normal and I want to really Empower you to trust your own instincts on that and that just because it seems like the world is speeding in this direction does not mean that like this is the way or that people are healthier at all for doing that it's a really trusting your own instincts on this stuff I think goes a long way any other questions from the
• 56:00 - 56:30 group I see one in the in the written here I hear from family members is that their child has a phone for emergency use only but you know the kids are not using for just emergency it's also an excuse for students in schools yeah it's the em it's especially for Schools they're often saying like and the parents are like if God forbid something awful happens I want my kid to have their phone but let's say God forbid there's a shooting or anything like that safety officers will say like you do not want phones out and about in that jamming the lines for First Responders
• 56:30 - 57:00 all out ofd information they're in this room getting passed around it's just like the emergency really is like an anxious attachment thing that I don't think is actually usually so helpful we can always like you know there we've done this for Generations there's always ways that we can get in touch with our kids like we're not taking them away um but the idea that they need to have a supercomputer all the time on them for us to be able to reach them I just don't think that's
• 57:00 - 57:30 accurate other questions from the group not seeing any well I I want to thank you Max um for sharing your social Awakening
• 57:30 - 58:00 presentation with our community tonight um you certainly provided us with a lot of really great information to help us navigate not only social media but how this is impacting our children and our students because I know we have a lot of um School District employees on here with us tonight as well um if you have not already I would encourage you to check out um the social Awakening website I know you dropped that in the chat along with those res resources so thank you um there's a ton of really great resources on there how to um you
• 58:00 - 58:30 know kind of manage some of these things some of you've published some research um in there so those are really great resources so thank you again for um that I know um you know families can go there to learn more about social media digital well-being so thanks everybody for coming out tonight um just as a plug this this tonight was part of the family information series our next session is May 21st at 700 p.m. um that will be be
• 58:30 - 59:00 part of the conversation cannabis kids and solutions for anxiety um for more information you can check out the office of student services page um that's located on the district's website and I'm going to drop that in the chat right now as well oh okay you can talk to everyone I was not able to send the link to everybody but so I think okay yep the Link's up there um and so as always you can access the recordings of our session and Associated resources on our web page as well I want to thank everybody again
• 59:00 - 59:30 for coming out tonight um I really appreciate everybody being here thank you and have a wonderful night thank you thanks for having me yeah thank you