Watch this if you don’t fit in at school

Summary

Highlights

• Penrose felt the only way to fit in was through clownish self-deprecation 😂.
• He reflects on the difficulty of relating to peers interested in gossip and trivial pursuits 📚.
• Just because everyone else is vaping or watching Netflix doesn’t mean you have to conform 📺.
• It’s crucial to be confident in who you are and the choices you make 🌟.
• Find your tribe, even if it means searching online or outside your immediate surroundings 🌐.
• Embrace being different as a positive, not something to be ashamed of 💪.
• Understanding high school as a random mix of people, many of whom may not align with your path 🎓.
• Don’t try to bring others down or feel the need to justify your decisions; focus on your growth 🚀.
• Engage with others, but don’t feel pressured to become like them to gain acceptance 👥.
• Build meaningful connections, but know not everyone will be a lifelong friend, and that’s okay 🫂.
• You’re normal, and being different just means you're on a unique path 🌟.

Key Takeaways

• You are not alone in feeling like an outsider at school; many people feel the same way 🤝.
• Just because something is popular doesn’t make it right or normal. Be true to yourself 🌟.
• Find confidence in your path, even if it doesn’t align with the majority 👣.
• Seek out your own tribe that shares your values, even if that means connecting online 🌐.
• View peer pressure and the desire to fit in as a test of your character and resolve 💪.
• Maintain interactions with peers but don’t compromise your values to fit in 🎭.
• Experiment, build confidence, and enjoy the journey without feeling the need to impress everyone 🌈.

Overview

Chapters

• 00:00 - 01:00: Introduction and Personal Experience The chapter 'Introduction and Personal Experience' explores the author's personal experiences in high school, where he discusses feeling the need to fit in with his peers by engaging in self-destructive and humiliating behaviors. This included acts such as climbing poles randomly to make others laugh and eating bananas with the skin on to amuse his friends, portraying a life of trying to conform and gain acceptance through humor and self-deprecation.
• 01:00 - 02:00: The Struggle to Fit In The narrator describes their struggle to fit in during high school. Feeling like the odd one out and unable to relate to peers, they resorted to self-deprecating humor and antics to make others laugh, thus attempting to integrate into social groups. Despite communal settings being lively, the narrator often felt isolated, unsure how to join in the fun.
• 02:00 - 03:00: Understanding Differences in Interests The chapter "Understanding Differences in Interests" delves into the challenges faced by an individual, Penrose, who struggles to engage with high-energy social groups. Despite wanting to participate, Penrose finds it difficult to match the group's energy and is often left feeling awkward and isolated due to a delay in processing the conversational flow. This results in Penrose being perceived as quiet, even though the challenge lies in understanding how to effectively join conversations and fit in with the group dynamics.
• 03:00 - 04:00: The Importance of Self-Belief In the chapter titled 'The Importance of Self-Belief,' the narrator shares a personal experience from high school where they often felt like an outsider. Unlike their peers who were interested in things like Netflix, gossip, and vaping, the narrator was focused on self-improvement, studying, and learning languages. They acknowledge that their audience might share similar experiences of feeling out of place. Despite having a few friends, the narrator recounts feeling lonely at times, such as during lunch when those friends were not around. The chapter emphasizes the significance of having self-belief amidst feeling different or not fitting in.
• 04:00 - 05:00: Peer Pressure and High School Society In this chapter titled **Peer Pressure and High School Society**, the narrator candidly discusses the feelings of isolation and the pressure to conform commonly experienced in a high school setting. Drawing from personal experiences, the narrator recalls moments of pretending to be busy during lunchtime to avoid appearing like a loner. Through this sharing, the narrator connects with the audience, assuring them that it's common not to feel aligned with high school or societal norms. The chapter encourages viewers to recognize that just because an action is popular or widespread, it does not validate it as the right or normal choice, using high school dynamics as a backdrop for this broader life lesson.
• 05:00 - 06:00: Confidence and Self-Assurance The chapter begins with a historical example, illustrating that societal norms can change over time using the example of slavery in the late 1700s in the United States, which was once considered normal but now is recognized as cruel and inhumane. The narrator emphasizes that the prevalence of a behavior or belief in society does not necessarily make it right or normal. This is applied to contemporary examples such as peer pressure in schools where many engage in activities like vaping, watching Netflix excessively, or gossiping. These actions, while widespread, are not necessarily right or normal, highlighting the importance of having confidence and self-assurance to make independent and morally sound decisions.
• 06:00 - 07:00: The Misguided Search for Validation The chapter titled 'The Misguided Search for Validation' emphasizes the importance of self-assurance and understanding one's own values and goals in life. It highlights that individuals need to be confident in their own beliefs and decisions, even if those differ from the majority. The narrative suggests that despite peer pressure or societal expectations, being secure in one's own path is vital. The chapter warns against seeking validation from others and stresses that personal growth and self-improvement are more important than conforming to others' expectations. The message encourages readers to trust in themselves, irrespective of whether they align with others or stand alone.
• 07:00 - 08:00: Finding Your Tribe The chapter 'Finding Your Tribe' discusses the challenges faced by individuals who deviate from typical social norms, particularly in academic settings. Those who choose to focus on studying or refrain from activities like vaping or drinking may feel isolated or belittled by their peers. The speaker emphasizes that the majority's actions or beliefs do not inherently equate to correctness. High school and university populations are described as random social slices, meaning that average behavior among peers is common. The chapter encourages embracing one's unique path and finding like-minded individuals who share similar values.
• 08:00 - 09:00: Balancing Relationships with Peers The chapter discusses the idea of living a unique or rare lifestyle, which may be different from the majority of people. It emphasizes the importance of self-improvement, focusing on fitness, relationships, health, productivity, and having a purpose in life. It also addresses the potential feeling of loneliness that can come from not fitting in with peers, viewing this difference as a positive aspect rather than a negative one. The chapter acknowledges the challenges of not relating to the majority and suggests that this should be seen as an indication that one is perhaps on a superior or unique path.
• 09:00 - 10:00: How to Interact with Different People The chapter addresses the feeling of not fitting in with classmates and not having friends to talk to at school. It highlights that peers in school might not share the same path or interests as you. The narrator reflects on personal experience, noting that they only remain in contact with one person from high school, and even then, the interaction is infrequent. The chapter emphasizes that while classmates are not necessarily bad people, they might simply be on different life paths.
• 10:00 - 11:00: Conclusion and Final Thoughts In the concluding chapter, the discussion revolves around the challenges of personal growth while surrounded by peers who may not share the same mindset or goals. It highlights the pressure that can come from others who might try to hinder progress by making one feel guilty for making positive life choices, such as abstaining from destructive habits like excessive gaming, drinking, or vaping. The chapter advises adopting a mindset that views these interactions as a test of one’s confidence and self-certainty in their chosen path of self-improvement.

Watch this if you don’t fit in at school Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 so bro when I was in high school and for most of my life I found that the only way I could actually fit in with the people around me was by destroying myself or humiliating myself basically by being a clown and trying to make them laugh like for example you know we'd be walking in a group somewhere to get some food or something and I would like randomly climb like a pole that I saw and that would make everyone laugh and I would feel like I was fitting in or you know we'd be at lunch and I'd be eating a banana and I'd literally just like bite a chunk out of the banana skin on and everything you know I'd be doing dumb stuff like this I'd be humiliating
• 00:30 - 01:00 myself you know dropping on the ground and rolling around everywhere in an attempt to fit in with all the people around me in school this was in high school because I felt like I was the odd one out in high school I felt like I didn't relate to anyone at all I didn't fit in and the only way I could fit in but was by making them laugh by putting myself down like I would like for example when everyone would be in like a group setting like in a classroom when the teacher was gone and everyone was like having fun in the class or we were all at someone's house and they were like everyone was having fun in a group setting I wouldn't know how to join in like there would be they would be just
• 01:00 - 01:30 like so high energy having so much fun laughing jokes would be flying everywhere and I wouldn't know how to match the energy I wouldn't know how to join the group Fun or whatever or for example if they would like ask a question to each other or make a comment and I would come up with a response to answer to the group I would come up with a response like 20 seconds later and the topic had already moved on so I was always that kid who was like standing awkwardly on the outside of the group unable to join and people would always say like oh you know Penrose why are you always so quiet why do you never talk it's cuz I never knew how to join anyone I never knew how had to fit in with
• 01:30 - 02:00 everyone I felt like I was the odd one out like everyone in my high school was interested in like you know Netflix and gossip and vaping or whatever and I was interested in like studying improving myself you know learning languages all this nerd basically uh which you probably are too if you're watching my channel so you probably feel like you don't fit in in your high school so that's what I'm going to talk about in this video like at lunchtime right like I did have some people that I got along with you know I had I had a couple friends who I got along with but if they weren't available at lunchtime for example I would have nothing to do I would literally like I would just walk
• 02:00 - 02:30 around at lunchtime pretending like I was busy like oh yeah I'm I'm walking fast through lunchtime guys I got to go to this one location right now you know I'd pretend I'm busy so I didn't seem like I was a loner or something so if you're watching my videos you probably relate to this you probably feel like you don't fit in with the people in your high school or even in your universe so in this video I'm going to tell you how to deal with this and why it's actually not a bad thing the first thing I can tell you right is just because everyone around you is doing something it doesn't make it normal nor does it make it the right thing to do like I'm going to give you an example there are many examp but
• 02:30 - 03:00 I'll give you an example from history right if you were in the United States in the late 1700s you probably would have thought that slavery was normal right but now everyone thinks slavery is terrible it's like so cruel it's horrible but if you were alive back then you would have thought it was normal so just because everyone around you thinks something it doesn't make it normal it doesn't make it right so just cuz all the kids in your school are VAP just cuz all the kids in your school are spending their weekends watching Netflix or playing video games or you know gossiping and doing all that stuff it doesn't make it normal it doesn't make it the right thing to do so the first thing I can tell you is you you need to
• 03:00 - 03:30 be sure with who you are you need to be sure with what you want from life and you have to be confident that whatever you want from life you know whether you want to improve yourself whether you want to you know be in the top 1% or whatever you need to be confident that you are right as well they are right you are right no one's right you just got to be confident in yourself and who you are that's the first thing right so just cuz all the kids in your school are doing something it doesn't mean they're right and you're wrong it's going to feel like they're right and you're wrong because they're all against you you know if you talk about how you spent all weekend studying or you talk about how you you know you don't drink or something like
• 03:30 - 04:00 that or you don't Vape you're going to feel like the weird one cuz they're going to put you down they're going to be like oh bro why aren't you drinking why aren't you vaping with us why are you spending all day studying you know be normal bro be normal kids in my class used to do that they used to insult me cuz I was like studying I was obsessed with studying I was always answering the teachers questions you know they're not right you're not right just cuz there's more of them it doesn't make them more right because here's the thing about high school high school and university is just a random selection of people from society the chances are most of the people in your high school are just going to be average people and if you're watching my channel you probably want to
• 04:00 - 04:30 live a life unlike most people right maybe you want to live like a top 1% life where you're you know working hard you're improving yourself you're focusing on your Fitness your relationships your health being productive doing something good with your life having a purpose and if you're the people in your class or a random selection of people from society they're not going to relate to you so it's actually a good thing that you don't relate to the people in your class it means you don't relate to the majority of people so actually you should see it as a good thing that you don't fit in with your classmates in a in a bit I'm going to talk about how to deal with that because it can feel very lonely if
• 04:30 - 05:00 you don't fit in with the people in your class like it sucks like you're not going to have friends who you can talk to in school I'll talk about that in a bit but here's the thing these guys in your school they're probably not on the same path as you like I probably talk to maybe one guy from high school honestly still talk to one guy and even that I don't talk to him that much like I'm on a completely different path with the people in my high school now I'm not saying they're bad people like actually some of them were pretty decent I just wasn't friends with them or whatever you know I'm not saying they're they're terrible people you know they're at the bottom of society or something but I'm saying you're probably not on the same path as the majority of these people so
• 05:00 - 05:30 the problem with that is if people are not on the same path as you and they don't understand you they might actually try to bring you down so you've got to be careful because these people in your class might try to bring you down they might try to make you feel bad for wanting to improve yourself they they might make you feel bad for not destroying yourself with them by not drinking by not playing video games by not vaping they're going to make you feel bad so it can be very tough so here's another mindset I can give you you need to see these people in your class these people in your school as a test they are testing you on are you sure with who you are are you confident
• 05:30 - 06:00 on what you want from Life are you confident in what you believe your life is if that makes sense these guys are testing you they're trying to bring you down you need to see it just as a test as them trying to bring you down don't fall for it be stronger than that because people in your future in your real life they're going to bring you down too this is like Noob level this is like level one kids in your class trying to make you feel bad for improving yourself so it's see it as a test that's the first mindset I can give you hold frame that's the word you know don't let them bring you down so two things in this also don't try to bring them them down either just cuz they're bringing
• 06:00 - 06:30 you down don't bring them down you know don't bring up how bad alcohol is and try to make them feel bad for it don't bring up the dangers of vaping don't tell them that you don't play video games or whatever like don't try to bring them down either just let them live their life as well you know you don't have to get into arguments because they're going to hate you and another thing don't stress because they're in a different Lane to you stop trying to impress them like I said first thing in the video I was always trying to be the clown I was trying to always impress people every time I was in a conversation with people I tried to impress them I tried to make them think I was interested in the same things as them I tried to give them a good
• 06:30 - 07:00 conversation but don't try to entertain people don't try to impress people you have nothing to prove at all if the conversation you have with them sucks that's fine now I'm not saying like have bad conversations with everyone I'm not saying like always crash conversations don't even try 100% try to have conversations with these people because they're people you can still talk to them you can still even build relationship with them relationships with them I'm not saying completely ignore them and be aone wolf in a bit I'll talk about how to approach this but yeah don't entertain them don't stress about entertaining them don't stress about impressing them you know don't be
• 07:00 - 07:30 the class clown like I always was like I thought my personality was weird like I couldn't impress them with my personality because I was weird I thought I was weird so I tried to impress them in other ways see like I said the only way I could actually relate and fit in with these guys was if I was destroying myself for me it was like playing video games with them I would relate to them I would have fun with them or like partying or something like that or gossiping so you know do this stuff in moderation if you want but again see it as a test you know you don't have to destroy yourself just to fit in because here's the thing do you actually want to be friends with these guys are you are you playing video games
• 07:30 - 08:00 are you going out drinking are you vaping because you actually want to do it or because you just want to fit in if you just want to fit in then find the people that you actually relate to so what you have to realize is instead of trying to make these guys your tribe in try instead of trying to think of these guys as your tribe you need to find your own tribe they might be like one or two guys in your school who you are part of your tribe or whatever you might have to go out of school and find people elsewhere or you might have to find people online that's why I created a free online Community First Link in the description you might be able to meet people there because if you like the content I talk about you'll relate to
• 08:00 - 08:30 those people in my community this is why I think Community is so important unfortunately it has to be online I wish the community could be in person but you know if you're in University it's going to be much easier to meet similar people cuz you can go out into the real world or whatever and meet people even in high school okay here's the thing how do you approach getting along with these people do you do the Lone Wolf mindset you know ignore everyone be a lone wolf live on your own Do Your Own Thing or do you try to get close to these people try to be friends with these people try to you know build relationship with them in my personal opinion you should do it halfway right so don't get too close to
• 08:30 - 09:00 these guys cuz if you get cuz you know what they say right you are the a I'm sure you've heard this you are the average of The Five People You Most hang around and if you're hanging around with these people a lot you're going to be like them and if you don't relate to them they're going to change you they're going to push you in a different direction that you didn't want to go so don't hang around them too much don't get too close to them but also I think don't take the Lone Wolf approach because it's such a sad lifestyle when you're taking the Lone Wolf approach so here's how I personally would approach it if I could go back in high school first of all I would still try to find people I relate to you know I would focus on enjoying being on my own Focus
• 09:00 - 09:30 enjoying you know working on myself living my own life but also be open to meeting people who are similar to me so going to activities looking for people out in the real world who are similar to me or finding people online that's the first thing but that can be hard to do so how do you interact with the other people in your school here's what I say first of all don't do this approach that many people do where they act like they're Superior like I said earlier in the video you know lecturing everyone about why alcohol is bad or trying to convince people to stop vaping or telling people you know oh I'm so good I
• 09:30 - 10:00 don't Vape I don't drink I don't play video games you know don't flex on them or anything don't act like you're Superior in my opinion there are two approaches you can take the first one is just just be lowkey you know just be chill if they ask you hey bro do you drink you can just say like nah bro not not really not much or like nah not this weekend bro you know just be lowkey act like them don't show off too much that's the first approach the second approach is you can just be so confident in who you are that some people might actually join you you know be that guy who's having so much fun sober that other people want to join you they want to have fun and they are influenced by you
• 10:00 - 10:30 you know like for example you know yes be that guy at lunchtime who's like studying who's like learning stuff focusing on themselves you know don't try to force it on to other people but if you're so confident in who you are and you you know live to who you are people might join you so that's the second approach you can take and the final thing I can say is you probably don't actually want to be friends with most of these people you just want to fit in so realize that still talk to these people still interact with them but just have fun experiment dumb yourself down don't try to be some intelligent guy I always did this like I would try to have like intelligent
• 10:30 - 11:00 conversations with everyone you know I always tried to influence people and win friends or whatever but you know just have fun dumb yourself down you know you don't have to have super intellectual conversations just be like hey bro what did you do this weekend uh blah blah blah just have these conversations with these people use it as an opportunity to build your personality build your confidence still interact with these people have fun because chances are they're going to be out of your life within a couple years within a couple months so just have fun enjoy it you know again you're normal just cuz everyone around you is doing something it doesn't mean they're right and you're
• 11:00 - 11:30 wrong so hopefully this video helped see you later