Blocked By Your Ex? Here’s What You Need To Know

Summary

Highlights

• Discover why being blocked by your ex might actually be a good thing, offering less obsessing and temptation to reach out. 😌
• Learn the common reasons for being blocked—whether tied to your own actions or your ex's personal journey. 📜
• Understand that the morality of being blocked is less important than focusing on your own recovery. 💡
• Explore why some people believe that being blocked can make you the 'winner' by enabling personal growth. 🏆
• Gain insights into how to handle being blocked, emphasizing self-care and acceptance over useless rumination. 🧘‍♂️

Key Takeaways

• Being blocked by your ex can be a blessing in disguise, prompting self-growth and a chance to move on. 🚀
• Don't obsess over whether the block is fair; focus instead on your own life and mental health. 🧠
• It’s crucial to respect your ex's decision to block you and avoid manipulative behavior to reverse it. 🚫
• Shifting focus from your ex to yourself can help rebuild self-esteem and lead to a healthier post-breakup life. 🌻
• Being unblocked by an ex doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation is on the horizon. Keep expectations in check. 🎯

Overview

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction The chapter introduces the episode of 'The Max Janker Show,' focusing on a critical subject - being blocked by an ex. The host, Max Janker, plans to address the most common questions related to this issue across various platforms including email, Facebook, Instagram, and phone. The discussion aims to relieve worries about having possibly said or done something wrong leading to being blocked.
• 00:30 - 10:30: Understanding the Reasons for Being Blocked This chapter delves into the psychology behind the feeling of being blocked by an ex. It explores common concerns, such as fears about the ex's perception and the anxiety about the ex having moved on for good, potentially discarding one's value. The narrative encourages reflection on personal stories and worries related to this experience.
• 10:30 - 15:30: Is it Fair or Ethical to be Blocked? The chapter explores the emotions and questions that arise when someone is blocked by another person, particularly focusing on relationships and breakups. It delves into the common queries people have, such as the reasons behind the blocking, the fairness or ethics of being blocked, the duration of the block, and the emotional state of the blocker. It poses questions about the affection or anger the blocker may have, and how one might attempt to address or resolve the situation.
• 15:30 - 20:30: Benefits of Being Blocked In this chapter, the discussion revolves around the emotional impact and strategic benefits of being blocked by an ex-partner. The speaker addresses common questions and concerns people have when they find themselves in this situation. There's a focus on understanding the reasons behind being blocked and how to navigate the complex emotions and decisions that follow, including contemplating a future reconciliation. The chapter aims to provide guidance and reassurance to help listeners manage their feelings and thoughts effectively after such an experience.
• 20:30 - 25:30: Do You Win if Your Ex Blocks You? This chapter addresses a frequently asked question about relationships: why an ex might block someone. This is a common concern among clients, readers, and course enrollees who engage with the host's content. The exploration of this question forms the central theme of the discussion.
• 25:30 - 30:30: Does My Ex Still Love Me If They Blocked Me? This chapter explores the complex emotions and reasons behind an ex-partner's decision to block someone on social platforms. It acknowledges that while an ex might block you for multiple reasons, there usually are one or two predominant reasons for doing so. The chapter aims to help readers understand these underlying reasons and offers insights into the mixed feelings of love and resentment that might lead to such actions.
• 30:30 - 35:30: Why Does My Ex Block and Unblock Me? The chapter delves into the psychology behind why an ex-partner might block and unblock you on social media or other communication platforms. It discusses that a key reason might be an individual's preoccupation with an ex's perception of them rather than their own self-perception. This behavior can often lead individuals to constantly seek validation and prove themselves to their ex, prompting the ex to block them as a reaction to this persistent desire for approval.
• 35:30 - 45:00: What to Do When Your Ex Blocks You The chapter discusses the reasons behind being blocked by an ex, suggesting that one might have lost their identity or values, leading to a loss of respect from the ex. It emphasizes the importance of maintaining one's beliefs and self-worth in a relationship. Additionally, it points out that being controlling, clingy, or suffocating could be other potential reasons for being blocked.
• 45:00 - 50:00: Conclusion and Newsletter Invitation This chapter addresses issues of personal empowerment and self-assertion, specifically in the context of relationships and social interactions. It suggests that people might struggle to stand up for themselves, perhaps due to fear or lack of knowledge, leading to situations where their boundaries are not respected. Additionally, it notes that relationships may end poorly when individuals do not assert their needs or desires, thus emphasizing the importance of developing healthy, assertive communication skills.

Blocked By Your Ex? Here’s What You Need To Know Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 so welcome back everyone welcome to the max janker show today we are talking about a very important topic basically I'm going to be answering all of the most common questions regarding being blocked by your ex being blocked uh on everything so email Facebook Instagram phone and so on so maybe you're worried that you've said or done something wrong
• 00:30 - 01:00 maybe you're afraid about what your ex thinks of you maybe what's really bothering you is they thought that they've perhaps moved on for good and in the process of doing so kind of discarded you as though you never meant anything to them and as though H you had no real intrinsic value to begin with now look whatever flavor of your personal story personal worry this
• 01:00 - 01:30 situation likely prompted you to ask a lot of different questions surrounding being blocked for example a very common one why did dregs block you in the first place uh was it fair or ethical uh to block you for how long will you stay blocked uh doesn't your ex love you anymore or care about you are they hurt or pissed off of uh how do you get them
• 01:30 - 02:00 to unblock you and whether or not you can still get back together with them these are just some of the questions people ask themselves and think about when they get into a situation where their ex blocks them well worry not because like I said at the beginning in this pod I will answer all of these questions and more so buckle up and let's do this let's get through this
• 02:00 - 02:30 together starting with the first question probably the most common question people ask me about this topic readers basically clients customers my course enroles they mostly when it comes to this topic ask me this specific question and it's all about why did it happen why did your ex block you
• 02:30 - 03:00 on everything on just a few platforms whatever now here's my take right while your X May block you because of a combination of reasons there's always at least one or maybe two that really stick out so to make this process of figuring out why your eggs blocked you in the first place easier for you let me go and actually listen out some of the most
• 03:00 - 03:30 common reasons why an average X would block another one right so let's start with the reasons relating to you and your behaviors directly so a really big reason here is that you were more concerned with how your ex perceived you than how you perceived yourself and consequently you kept trying to prove yourself to them and that's why they blocked you another important reason
• 03:30 - 04:00 would be you kept sacrificing your identity uh for them to a point where you basically gave up on all your values you basically gave up all of your beliefs that made you you that is the person your ex fell in love with in the first place and that leads them to lose respect for you and block you another reason uh they've blocked you would be that you were controlling you were clingy or suffocating maybe you kept
• 04:00 - 04:30 stalking them on social media and Dave have kept noticing it maybe you were simply unwilling to stand up for yourself and for what you want basically for your desires or thoughts or whatever or you just didn't know how to stand up for yourself and assert some proper healthy personal boundaries maybe you've ended your relationship in bad or not in but on bad
• 04:30 - 05:00 terms so maybe there was infidelity involved maybe there was lying involved arguments and so on maybe now to kind of switch by the way the topic to reasons more or less tied to what your ex is going through so tied directly to them as opposed to you maybe your ex just didn't want to risk postponing their recovery by staying in touch maybe
• 05:00 - 05:30 they're playing games and trying to come out on top you know it's it's maybe a power play for them some sort of a status game would be another way to put it maybe your ex is indulging in some weird Revenge fetish or maybe they are simply testing you so this means they are gauging how you will respond to their block and whether or not that
• 05:30 - 06:00 response will be reasonable or not maybe they're just pissed off maybe they hate your guts maybe they they are frustrated for whatever reason maybe they just want nothing to do with you anymore and have already moved on maybe they're dating someone new and they don't want you to get involved and that's why they block you on everything because it's just really awkward otherwise you trying to maybe rekindle connection you trying to
• 06:00 - 06:30 message them for whatever reason you know it's awkward for the new person or maybe another reason your ex blocks you would be because they don't trust themselves to resist reaching out to you so put another way maybe they still care about you and want to reach out but they know that that's a bad idea because let's say perhaps you just weren't compatible so they put obstacles like blocks in place so block you in order to
• 06:30 - 07:00 make contact communication with you a struggle now as for the last reason your ex blocks you is well because they feel guilty for breaking up and don't want you to remind them of their supposed mistake through your contact now that's it for the reasons that's hopefully a good answer a sufficient answer for the question of why thex Block in the first
• 07:00 - 07:30 place now let me tackle my next question is it fair or mature or ethical for an ex to block you is it something that is you know moral now this is by far the weirdest question I have received on this topic and my answer to it after quite some rumination over it after quite some pondering
• 07:30 - 08:00 is that it's irrelevant like who gives a if it's fair mature EIC difficult for for your ex to block you really there's no use in embarking on this long convoluted philosophical journey and try to untangle the whole thing I'm a big- Time Lover of philosophy and it breaks my heart to say this but in this particular case just trying to figure out whether BL your your re blocking you
• 08:00 - 08:30 is good or bad it's a complete waste of time the blocks moral nature is completely irrelevant and trying to straighten it out it won't solve anything you'll just make yourself go bad insane from all the rumination that you will force yourself into now here's what you should focus on instead if I may redirect your attention perhaps yourx has their reasons for the block sometimes they're tied to what you're
• 08:30 - 09:00 doing other times they're tied to how they feel sometimes these reasons are Justified like when you keep texting your ex other times they are uncalled for as in the case of amical breakups like why would you block someone after an amical breakup right but regardless what you should focus on the spider block for whatever reason and especially what you should focus on instead of
• 09:00 - 09:30 whether a block is moral or not is moving forward with your life so don't whine don't mope don't ruminate on this stuff it's not worth it it's all diminishing returns on your mental health after the first 10 minutes anyway now onwards to my next uh question is it a good thing that my ex blocked me on everything is it a good thing that your ex blocked you on everything
• 09:30 - 10:00 now most people look at me like I have like two big hairy balls growing out of my chin when I tell them this but yes having your eggs block you on everything is or on most stuff is often a good thing like let me just list out a couple of really good benefits of being blocked in the first place first of all there is way less obsessing right obsessing over an X it's a common struggle however
• 10:00 - 10:30 being blocked can make it way easier to stop this behavior and while yeah it might be frustrating at first being blocked helps you break free from a disempowering habit that prevents healing basically by not being able to see your excess social media presence or activity or without being able to contact them you can start focusing hell you're kind of forced to focus on yourself and move forward with your life
• 10:30 - 11:00 as a result and that's well that's great also another benefit to being blocked is that you have way fewer reminders to worry about because since your ex blocked to there's less of a chance that you will come across their social media posts which can reopen your breakup wounds and set you maybe down a negative thinking spiral you'll also have lighter
• 11:00 - 11:30 Temptations when you're blocked because you know those times when you kind of want to reach out to your ex maybe profess your unyielding Undying Love even though you kind of know they will reject you afterward and you will then feel only more brokenhearted right well if your ex blocks you you'll have fewer Temptations like that or we could also say you would have way fewer options to act on those Temptations and hence
• 11:30 - 12:00 fewer chances of screwing up either re attraction and or a breakup recovery and finally by being blocked you're going to have your Panic kind of subdued kind of dampened because here's the thing Panic it often makes us Overlook the negative aspects of our relationship while getting us to excessively Focus us on the positive aspects luckily when your X
• 12:00 - 12:30 blocks you while it does increase panic in the short term it does decrease it in the long enabling you to Cobble together this more realistic sensible understanding of the nature of your ex relationship anyhow uh onwards to my next question is it true that if your ex blocks you you win okay so this is a really weird
• 12:30 - 13:00 belief floating around the breakup space uh for the last few years I believe the idea is that being blocked can ultimately be beneficial for your personal growth and mental health making you the quote unquote winner in the situation by gaining the opportunity to fully move forward with your life okay that's fair that's all fun and Felicia that's something I said or mentioned mentioned earlier as well how being
• 13:00 - 13:30 blocked can be a beneficial thing and if this is your understanding of the whole be blocked and win uh idea I'd say yeah sure it's true being blocked is a win however there's another interpretation of this belief lurking on the interwebs some people think it means coming out on top of their eggs as in winning some childish power play that your ex doesn't
• 13:30 - 14:00 even know they're participating in now this mentality this second mentality it's undeniably a recipe for a toxic relationship and please avoid adopting it at all costs it's just stupid and it's just unrealistic and definitely very much disempowering to both you as well as your ex as for my next question question does my ex still love me if they blocked
• 14:00 - 14:30 me no this is my answer your ex probably wouldn't be in love with you if they've blocked you because here's the deal when people are in love they typically want to communicate and resolve conflicts not several connections by blocking you know blocking signifies this desire to create distance to move on or to protect oneself from further emotional distress
• 14:30 - 15:00 it's a very much it's very much a gesture that screams the opposite of love it's kind of like indifference maybe even a little bit of malice so if you're asking this question does my ex still love me if they blocked me well here's my theory based on my understanding from coaching people for years now on these topics if you're asking this question you're probably very desperate to get back with with your ex or at least you're holding on to
• 15:00 - 15:30 hope that you'll eventually reconcile and look love alone just won't save your relationship or Make It Last Love by itself while beautiful while necessary it's not enough if you ever really want to get back with your ex kind of a little tangent here you will need to prioritize other healthier values over love to make your relationship work honesty
• 15:30 - 16:00 empathy respect trust vulnerability because these things build a foundation of transparency they help you understand each other's feelings and Foster a deeper connection they help you feel valued and appreciated in the relationship they help you feel secure and confident in the relationship it enables you to share different things with each other and it makes two people
• 16:00 - 16:30 in a relationship more resilient and then love that's just you know the cherry on top it should be there I'm not bashing on love I'm just saying it's really overrated at the moment when it comes to the whole question of its importance now my next question is why has an X blocked me but then unblocked me why have they done it um probably because they are confused about you you maybe your ex is
• 16:30 - 17:00 torn between checking your social media for personal updates like getting a new partner and letting you go uh maybe they're torn between calling you and asking you if you'd like to get back together and leaving you alone for a few more days or they're torn between asking you for their stuff back and withholding the request because it could make you feel even more rejected than you are rejected already feeling rejected right now now another explanation for why your
• 17:00 - 17:30 ex keeps blocking and unblocking you could be also because they are testing you that is they want to see how you react to their mixed signals they want to see how you will whether you will react positively or negatively in a healthy uh manner or in an unhealthy dysfunctional like manner but then again this is often not the case it's very rare that your ex will actually be
• 17:30 - 18:00 testing you for these things most of the time when your ex is quote unquote supposedly testing you they are more likely just rejecting you indirectly and you're just too defensive or afraid to really see the difference because it will basically make you lose all hope in getting back together and that's just really scary and it hurts so that's that the next question how long will it take
• 18:00 - 18:30 until an next will unblock you uh the answer here is no idea it's different for everyone and whoever gives you like a I think specific concrete number for your specific situation I think it's selling you uh some people get unblocked in a matter of hours some people get unblocked in a matter of days some people get unblocked in matter of years and some people they never get unblocked still one of the key
• 18:30 - 19:00 influences or factors whether your ex will unblock you or not is their attachment style so if they're an avoidant specifically that is there's someone who puts excessive value in Independence and freedom they will probably want plenty of space and thus will keep you blocked for far longer than usual right but avoidant or not the two things that matter during your time being blocked are that you are a patient
• 19:00 - 19:30 and B that you avoid being a Nuance for instance by calling or texting your ex when they clearly haven't put any effort into reconnecting now another question my ex blocked me but still talks to me what gives what do I do very common question now here's my take if your eggs blocked you but still t talks to you after they dumped you it likely means
• 19:30 - 20:00 you still see them uh in person despite being blocked digitally maybe you work together maybe you share a kid or you live in the same space all fair all valid valid situations the point is in these situations in these cases you should only communicate with your ex when it's necessary and only when it's about a problem or a challenge you're trying to arrange your resolve concerning Shar
• 20:00 - 20:30 responsibilities like a kid a pet a shared work project living together stuff like that so will frequent communication like this hinder your breakup recovery will it hinder re-attraction if that's your goal yeah probably but look it's not like you really have a choice at all times you still can get over your breakup you still can get past your breakup despite
• 20:30 - 21:00 being in contact with your ex it's just going to take longer than if you would cut your X out of your life for good or if they would actually cut you out of their life for good now my next question is all about uh hey my ex has unblocked me and that's great but they just haven't yet reached out what do I do how should I think about this situation now here's what I think if your ex unblocked
• 21:00 - 21:30 you be it after weeks months or even years post breakup but hasn't reached out yet they have probably done it because of five key reasons number one because it's a kind gesture and they don't want to come off as mean number two because they're worried or scared about how you'll react and they want to play it safe so they just unblock you three because they feel uncomfortable talking to you four because they're afraid of hurting hurting you again uh
• 21:30 - 22:00 five they've had a random urge to unblock you that vanished as quickly as it appeared ultimately if your ex unblocked you yes they may still Harbor feelings for you they may even want you back but since they haven't reached out yet you just can't know for sure nevertheless whether your goal is to get them back or to Simply get over the breakup I suggest you proceed as always
• 22:00 - 22:30 by simply letting them go and if they've unblocked you you know don't think they suddenly gave you the green light to reach out yourself and try to get them back please leave them be it's probably because a just a tiny tangent here it's probably because of your excessive reaching out that they have blocked you in the first place so if you ever want to rekindle your relationship please let
• 22:30 - 23:00 them contact you first let them Reach Out first and then move forward and I have other resources on my website I have other podcast episodes that go deeper into this process of what do you do once your ex reaches out to eventually mend your relationship so go check those out all available on max jer.com but now let's go to my last my final
• 23:00 - 23:30 question that I got about this topic probably the most important one by far or at least one of like the most I think practical ones regarding the answer and the question is what do I do when my ex blocks me uh how do I handle it how do I get unblocked things of that nature now let's first talk about how you should not handle your ex blocking you since
• 23:30 - 24:00 there is a ton of misinformation out there so generally speaking never ever try to force cajo or manipulate or use some sneaky trick to make your ex unblock you this means no posting provocative photos of you with random Attractive people just to make her eggs jealous no sending those dumb templated text messages is like the good reminder
• 24:00 - 24:30 text and no bragging to friends how well you're doing when you're actually not with hopes that the fake news gets back to your eggs like these behaviors they will lead you nowhere your ex will eventually see through your and you they will figure out what you're doing and they will lose trust and respect and attraction for you and you will never ever get them back or be in a nice even like platonic relationship
• 24:30 - 25:00 will them because they will just hate you for it they will hate you for being a manipulative and remember getting Rex to unblock you in general has way more to do with how you handle yourself than how you attempt or try to handle them so on that note here are some ways you should respond when your eggs blocks you okay first of all accept
• 25:00 - 25:30 that being blocked is beyond your control you might not understand or agree with your ex's reasons and that's fine but please respect their boundaries anyways it's the right thing to do just note that acceptance doesn't mean you are suddenly okay with whatever happened rather it means you're ready to stop fighting reality and start moving forward be that with or without your ex
• 25:30 - 26:00 also very important another tip avoid fixation sure it's tempting to obsess over why you're blocked but this often leads to misery instead of fixating on it I want you to shift your focus to your own life like what are your goals what hobbies have you neglected what's your social life like are you treating your body well like these are the things you should focus on and work on also consider a temporary social media
• 26:00 - 26:30 detox basically a period where you just get off social media and at least try to get through one month on such a period because the the idea here is that constant updates from friends and maybe even glimpses into your ex's life you know it can make moving on difficult it can make moving forward from a breakup difficult who knows maybe your ex gets in a relationship with someone else uh
• 26:30 - 27:00 during this time maybe your friends post their wedding photos and you get like really jealous because you also want to be in a relationship in some sort of a commitment and that just all prolongs your healing like this connecting can help you really clear your mind and reduce the urge to check if your ex unblocked you already in the first place it's also wise to rebuild self-esteem after you've been blocked
• 27:00 - 27:30 because there's a good chance that being blocked by your ex it will diminish your self-esteem so maybe a good place to start would be to rebuild it or to build it would be to engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself whether it's physical activities like yoga and running or creative Outlets like painting and writing also please don't go through this alone talk to friends and family who understand what you're going through consider joining
• 27:30 - 28:00 support groups or talking to a therapist basically external support can provide a different perspective and you know the much needed encouragements to get you through the tough times also very smart Journal because writing down your thoughts and feelings it can be very therapeutic it can be a very therapeutic way in fact to process excess block specifically I want you to
• 28:00 - 28:30 try and journal about your progress your setbacks and any emotions that arise and finally do a block back as I like to call it so basically consider blocking your eggs back if you think it will help you move forward and you are sure that you wouldn't want to reconcile with your eggs in the future because obviously if you blog them back back it's going to
• 28:30 - 29:00 make reconciliation way more difficult to pull off in the future okay so that's pretty much it for this Pod episode if you want to go deeper into my work if you want to stay in touch you should really sign up for my newsletter the Breakthrough letter where each week you'll get a short email with one idea one suggestion and one resource to help you break through your breakup and
• 29:00 - 29:30 create a new possibility for love be that with your ex or someone else if that's something up your alley if you want to try out my newsletter completely free just go to Max jer.com letters that's Max jer.com slets as in a letter you would send to your mom or your aunt or whatever so that being said that's all from my side than thank you for tuning in thank you for listening to this pod and we talk
• 29:30 - 30:00 soon