Freedom from Depression-Part 2 of 4

Summary

In this second installment of a four-part series, produced by Lifetime Guarantee Ministries, Dr. Bill and Annabel Gilliam, along with testimonies from others, grapple with the labyrinth of depression from a Christian perspective. The episode dives deep into the fearsome depths of debilitating depression, exploring personal testimonies, particularly highlighting Annabel's struggle and eventual victory over her depressive thoughts. By blending scriptural references with personal stories, the hosts aim to provide spiritual healing and reassurance that God’s unconditional love is the path to overcoming the oppressive darkness of depression.

Highlights

• At the break of dawn, fear and confusion often usher in a sense of dread for those battling depression. 🌅
• A neighborhood incident acts as a wake-up call, highlighting the loss of reality due to overwhelming depression. 🚨
• Desperation leads to contemplating dark decisions, but failures and exhaustion call for divine intervention. 🙏
• Support arrives in mysterious ways; a friend shares a testimony at the perfect moment, offering solace and guidance. 🌈
• Biblical stories of depression remind us of God’s timeless wisdom and the path to healing. 📜

Key Takeaways

• Depression can consume you with fear and hopelessness, but there is a pathway to peace and healing through faith. 🌟
• Seeking help, be it through counseling or spiritual guidance, is a step toward recovery. Don't hesitate to reach out! 📞
• Living on conditional love is exhausting; understanding and embracing God's unconditional love can truly liberate you. 💖
• Biblical characters also battled depression, reassuring us that it's a part of the human experience. 📖
• Our minds are battlegrounds; discerning thoughts from God and dismissing those from our enemy is crucial. 🛡️

Overview

Dr. Bill and Annabel Gilliam orchestrate a heartfelt conversation, narrating personal accounts and struggles that many listeners may relate to emotionally. Annabel's personal battle with depression is recounted, unraveling the profound sense of fear and immobilizing dread she faced, yet underscoring the potential for hope and revival through faith.

A turning point emerges as a neighbor's startling revelation prompts self-reflection for Annabel. This act challenges her to confront her mental health and paves the way for seeking divine guidance, underscoring the importance of not succumbing to satanic deception and despair.

Interspersed with scriptural insights, the episode illustrates that depression has been a recurring theme throughout human history, even among revered biblical figures. By aligning one’s thoughts with divine truth and forsaking the lies of the enemy, healing is not only possible but promised, emanating a message of hope and recovery for all listeners.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 03:00: Introduction and Personal Testimony The chapter starts with a welcome to part two of a series on overcoming depression, presented by Dr. Bill and Annabel Gilliam. The speaker shares a personal testimony filled with fear that they describe as depressing, debilitating, and demobilizing. Their fear was so overwhelming that they dreaded each morning and looked forward to the night as a refuge through sleep.
• 03:00 - 07:00: Understanding Depression and Personal Experience The chapter opens with a personal account of experiencing depression, where the narrator describes waking up every day with a sense of dread and a desire to stop existing. The feeling of confusion is depicted as overwhelming until an event occurs that highlights a loss of connection with reality. This pivotal moment is illustrated when a neighbor arrives with the narrator's toddler, bringing a realization of how detached they've become due to their mental state.
• 12:00 - 18:00: Elijah's Story and Personal Insights In this chapter, we delve into Elijah's journey as he recollects a dramatic incident where a neighbor finds his son playing unsupervised in the street. Elijah expresses his gratitude outwardly, yet internally collapses into an emotional state, questioning the turmoil enveloping his life. This moment triggers a profound reflection on the adverse path he feels trapped in, leading him to a chilling contemplation of an 'exit,' which he later associates with a negative, possibly evil influence distorting his thoughts.
• 25:00 - 36:00: Jonah's Story and Dealing with Depression In this chapter, the protagonist deals with feelings of depression and inadequacy as a parent and partner. They express a sense of being overwhelmed by their responsibilities and the belief that their loved ones might be better off without them. The protagonist struggles with daily tasks, like loading the dishwasher, and battles thoughts of being replaced by someone more capable. It reflects a deep internal conflict and a plea for understanding from others around them.
• 43:00 - 53:00: Steps to Overcoming Depression The chapter discusses strategies for overcoming depression. It appears to be grounded in a spiritual or religious perspective, emphasizing the idea that negative thoughts and feelings are deceptive lies from a negative force, referred to here as Satan. It encourages individuals to reject these thoughts and focus on life-affirming beliefs or entities.

Freedom from Depression-Part 2 of 4 Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 welcome to part two in a lifetime guarantee audio series free from depression here once again our dr. bill and Annabel Gilliam there is no better word to describe my state of being for the next few months than fear depressing debilitating demobilizing fear I dreaded the mornings and longed for the night's the night let me escape into sleep the
• 00:30 - 01:00 minute my eyes would open and my brain began to function my first thought was always oh please let me stop existing one day as I was just out of my mind and confusion the doorbell rang and there on my front porch stood my neighbor of two houses down with my two year old toddler she said words to me that made me realize I was losing a grip with reality
• 01:00 - 01:30 she said I found your son playing in the street I thanked her with my smiling mask securely in place and closed the door and then I wept God what is happening to me and why is it happening to me I couldn't put my family through this any longer I had worked out in my mind and looking back now I see that it was Satan working it out in my mind that I needed to exit
• 01:30 - 02:00 this scene so someone capable and sane could enter into my spot the thought on one hand made me sick and on the other made sense the boys were young enough that they wouldn't remember and Tom's surely would be better off with someone who could at least load the dishwasher which I was incapable of doing at this point oh please dear one understand that
• 02:00 - 02:30 these are all lies from your enemy Satan don't listen to him in your mind stop the thoughts and turn to the giver of life well the pressure of exiting one day was overwhelming I dialed a suicide hotline with humiliation I couldn't stand the thought that I had failed being a performance oriented person the thought of failure
• 02:30 - 03:00 was too much for me it was the last straw that almost broke the camel's back I hung up in anger anger that no one on this earth had given me the answer yet I took the pills from the kitchen cabinet the beautiful new bright shiny kitchen cabinet and knelt on the floor I don't know where Austin was clay was in his infant seat beside me I took the lid
• 03:00 - 03:30 off feeling inside that I was about to explode and then I got up and ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror at myself and screamed God what do you want from me Cheri is a vibrant victorious Christian woman now she's a friend and she just walked into our office when was it yesterday mm-hmm and we were preparing these messages on
• 03:30 - 04:00 depression sherry didn't know that and she I had no idea that sherry had gone through depression like you had did you yes and she had written out this lengthy testimony and she just came in and while you were standing talking with her what did she say she said that she just wanted to give this to us she said I don't know why but the Lord seemed to impress me to bring it up to you and that kind of quote coincidence is just
• 04:00 - 04:30 not a coincidence at all this had to be God and so we just sensed that the Lord wanted to share this with somebody over the air today and so we put this portion of the testimony into the script for this message that we're going to be giving today on chronic depression and it was difficult for me to read because I've been there because I too experienced deep depression
• 04:30 - 05:00 for weeks at a time as a very committed Christian no one knew I forced myself to hide the problem just like sherry said I smiled behind my mask why did I why did Annabelle why did I hide mine because my need for love and acceptance that can only be met through perfect performance was so intense if I do not perform they
• 05:00 - 05:30 will not love me if anybody knows what I am experiencing inside they will not love me so no one knew of course I didn't really know the depths of the depression but I could obviously see the color drained from your face and I could see the countenance what was happening inside you what was going through your thought life while you were going
• 05:30 - 06:00 through this thing because we know that the thought life is Satan's pathway to depression that he uses to try to get you into the pression right like sherry in my mind there was just total confusion I would start down one road and I would think this is the way in my thinking processes and then it would be interrupted by some thought that was just way off the wall and I think no that can't be right so I was incapable
• 06:00 - 06:30 of making decisions to tell me to set my mind on something it seemed that I just couldn't do that because there was just utter chaos in my thought life and then as far as trying to clarify my situation why is this happening to me I couldn't clarify it there didn't seem to be anything that I could put my finger on other than I have made one
• 06:30 - 07:00 grand mess of my life now that was in my thinking processes physically my physical senses and my capabilities I couldn't accomplish things like I had always been able to accomplish things and of course this just accelerated the depression because now I can't accept myself because you can't perform up to your standards right you can't measure up
• 07:00 - 07:30 now why was Annabelle not depressed at age 19 because she was stronger at age 19 she was able to perform fairly well up to her standards would you agree with that oh yes and at age 19 she was elected by popular vote on college campus as the most popular girl on campus she was what were
• 07:30 - 08:00 you know were you band Queen at the college several things like that anyway popularity personified on the campus so you were really through your performance and through your effort and everything your program was really working with people people were accepting you but you have testified since then you really felt like a driven person even at age 19 oh yes and then too you were still
• 08:00 - 08:30 performing to meet my fancy and so when depression would knock at the door I just go pick up the telephone and call bill yeah and you would come and comfort me on my wife yeah now then we get married and we get into the castle and draw the drawbridge up and now then I begin to unleash this critical tongue on you and this depression that you're
• 08:30 - 09:00 describing there reached its pinnacle I guess what 18 20 years into the marriage and so you finally just wore out just finally came to the end of having the physical energy wouldn't you say and the mental energy just to keep on going and I am the one that the devil used to beat you down to that position through criticism and sarcasm and second-guessing and all
• 09:00 - 09:30 those kinds of things which I'm certainly not proud of but which is my unique version of the flesh you wanted me to love you and it was like love is a commodity and you were having to spend your entire budgeted amount at my store but you walk out at the end of every day empty-handed mm-hmm you see I was still thinking that I had to perform well enough to earn your love I had to perform well enough to earn love whether
• 09:30 - 10:00 it be from people from God or from myself but I was so wrong I had a mistaken view of how to get my need for love satisfied you see God designed me to live on unconditional love and I was trying to exist on conditional love I was trying to earn it I had myself on this same impossible standard of
• 10:00 - 10:30 performance-based acceptance I insisted that I had to earn love before I could accept and love myself I began to see victory I began to see truth and apply it to my life the night that God very gently said to me and I don't mean I heard his voice but this thought came to me when he said I will do it all for you Annabelle and I began that night the process of learning the beautiful truth
• 10:30 - 11:00 of Christ in me to perform through me the way out a depression doesn't have to be the long laborious pilgrimage though with everybody else like it was for you and God has brought us to you because he has taught us that the way out for you is the same as the way out for Annabelle and that is to be able to appropriate the truth can you identify with me have you been with me today
• 11:00 - 11:30 oh my dear brother sister are you caught in the same vicious whirlpool that I was caught in and now you're so tired of trying please listen God has given us your answer I realize you may not be able to listen every day but don't give up hope write us call us we have materials that God would use to show you how to trust him just like you showed me
• 11:30 - 12:00 [Music] there are some stories in the word especially in the Old Testament about certain biblical characters that got into depression they were blindsided by the devil and he carried him off in that direction and we're going to be sharing about some of these and we want to say right off
• 12:00 - 12:30 the bat that we don't mean to be putting anybody down in the Bible or anything like that but the Word of God says that we are to learn from their experiences and so you will find that you can't experience problems today that you are unable to find in the Bible you'll find some semblance or something close to your problem if you'll study out the Word of God and then praise the Lord the answers are there as well in the New Testament I'm so glad that there are
• 12:30 - 13:00 characters like this in the Bible even if they were all perfect you know and never did anything wrong yeah my soul and body I would feel defeated when I read the Word of God yes so we're going to look at first of all mighty mighty Elijah now you talk about a story in first Kings chapter 17 1819 Elijah had a three year mountaintop experience he
• 13:00 - 13:30 really did began when the Lord used him to announce a coming drought and then he was fed by heavenly Ravens a pot of oil that wouldn't go dry in a flower bowl that was never empty then he raised a boy back to life he saw a fire come down from heaven doing away with all the prophets of bale and then he was used to call a halt to the drought I mean that guy should have been on the tubes and
• 13:30 - 14:00 then he outran a chariot for 17 miles he outran a habbits chariot and you know Ahab must have had the mightiest steeds that were available right and he didn't have running shoes to rain he was running a sandal I can rock eel and I can see him with his robe all held up yeah going down the road those are all tremendous power plays and then a word comes from a woman
• 14:00 - 14:30 jezebel and elijah gets depressed Jezebel told Elijah she said before My gods in that Sun before my gods I am going to do to you what has been done to my prophets before this time tomorrow and Elijah got depressed and I want to ask him when did your mighty God leave you Elijah is he only on Carmel mm-hmm well
• 14:30 - 15:00 you know here's this guy he has lived for three years on this euphoric high I really think his emotions must have been all up there as well but somehow in this time of testing here his emotions must have started down now the word depressed meaning depression that's where the word profession comes from means to descend
• 15:00 - 15:30 or to go down or to lower that's the only way you can go from you for you and one of the things that I learned from this man's experience is that after I have been on a high I am to be on my guard because everybody is gonna go down from a high let's put it on a 1 to 10 scale I spoke last Sunday morning in
• 15:30 - 16:00 Nashville and it was in the Opryland the Grand Ole Opry auditorium and it was a big deal for me and I had worked really hard on it and I was really tired physically from working so hard that week and God carried me through and it was wonderful now I get on the plane and I'm coming back home and I begin to feel all of the SAP
• 16:00 - 16:30 running into the most Souls I am beginning to get tired now I don't like you say Annabelle I don't even know how to spell depression that's not my particular version of the flesh because I'm more of an ulcer Giver I give ulcers to other people when I'm in the flesh rather than an employee or an ulcer getter but when you're in a situation like that and I came in the house you know and I was tired and so we just kind of sat around and evening it
• 16:30 - 17:00 took it easy right mm-hmm now when you're in a situation like that what would the devil love to do to you when you're in a situation like that well just exactly what he did to Elijah in our roundtable discussion last Friday I pointed out that very often the Lord will use a person to bring you down from that high where you will be so excited about sharing something like a child will come in from school and be so
• 17:00 - 17:30 excited about sharing some event that happened at school and if the mother are the dad are not sensitive they're so likely to just dampen you know by not responding properly well here Elijah had this beautiful experience and when your emotions are so high you are very very vulnerable to anything that comes into your life and boy here Jezebel makes this statement and he plunges down and
• 17:30 - 18:00 so Satan would love to get us to plunge from a high eight to a low two in a hurry so it's like you say you have to be on your guard the only thing is it's very subtle dealing with depression now let's take another incident where it would be very clear what to do let's say that you go to the grocery store where there wouldn't might be a lady as you would say seductively dressed with the
• 18:00 - 18:30 perfume and the long eyelashes and everything like that and she smiles and talks to you women this is for middle now describe Annabelle what kind of thoughts the devil would give you when you were mired in this depression that you used to experience for years what was going on in your thought life okay now remember as I share these thoughts
• 18:30 - 19:00 Remember Who I am what bill just said that I am this new creature therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creature I am this new creature with the laws of God written on my mind and on my heart and the thoughts that come to me if they are thoughts that curtail the activity of Christ or do not present christ-like behavior they are not from cross that's right they are from my
• 19:00 - 19:30 enemy the power of sin where Satan gains entrance into my conscious awareness and will give me these thoughts that's right okay so now you evaluate as I read these thoughts it's from a page of my journal I left them in there just for the express purpose of reading it over occasionally just to see what kind of thoughts Satan gives me it's even verbalized as a prayer and I begin oh Lord is this thing dated yes it's 1967 okay
• 19:30 - 20:00 Oh Lord how I hate to share this with you but I feel that I must how very very far I am from being the person God intends for me to be never have I been so tempted to just give up I just like myself my whole being so intensely I have prayed to be a spiritual wife for so long dear Lord and I'm not I don't know what else to do or not to do I know you're willing and able so there must be
• 20:00 - 20:30 something within me that blocks your power how heartsick I am never has my love for my husband been so frail I'm falling more and more into the habit of judging him of evaluating him of allowing him to cause me unrest and irritation I so longed for someone that I can feel comfortable with someone in whom I could confide Lord I have reached the point of
• 20:30 - 21:00 complete failure again how ridiculous it is for me to teach to counsel to be looked upon as a godly woman for those who know me best those who live with me know what I am and the words are so Hollow and meaningless when they see me day after day after day all day long therefore I will not teach I will not have a Bible study I will not counsel I am basically an unhappy person how this
• 21:00 - 21:30 breaks my heart to confess all of this to you Lord and I want to blame you for I so longed to be filled with you and your beauty but these are my feelings and this is truth I am defeated I am discouraged I am unwilling to allow you to use me I have no friends no joy no compassion no hope there is one positive point I'm sorry about my condition how
• 21:30 - 22:00 many of those thoughts came from the Holy Spirit who lives within me are this godly new Annabel yeah how many of those thoughts came from this woman with the mind of Christ the laws of God written on her mind none of them all of that is a monologue from the devil through the power and dwelling sin which he uses to serve up
• 22:00 - 22:30 ideas into our heads but all of it came to you with first-person saying it is I thought it was me and I just obediently accepted it and recorded it beautifully oh my soul what a miracle you are standing over there lady I love you well we believe that God has shown us that there are three major ways that Satan will use to try to get a person into
• 22:30 - 23:00 depression the thoughts that come to you will either be of a self condemning nature now that's more your flesh getting it in the mail I can't do anything right yeah or number two self-pity or number three projecting blame onto others and justifying yourself and getting angry because you're helpless to change this situation and these are the kinds of thoughts that
• 23:00 - 23:30 will be coming there's a fourth and that is angry because you're not in control and you'd insist and demand on being in control so you can manipulate the environment to get yourself out of this situation God mercifully spared Annabelle now why did he do that well he loves Annabelle but not any more than he loves any other Christian but at this point God wants to use Annabelle's experience to reach out to you and help
• 23:30 - 24:00 you understand how to let him take you out of your depression it says in 2nd Corinthians chapter 1 blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God God has given his comfort to Annabelle and this comfort is available to you oh
• 24:00 - 24:30 how we longed for you to listen to these programs on depression so that great god of comfort can lead you in the paths of righteousness and light [Music] depression what a depressing subject but
• 24:30 - 25:00 you know God in His mercy has recorded biblical characters and he talks about him and he just tells it like it is you can find people in the Word of God who love God but who really have had lots of ups and downs in their walk with God that's one reason that it's so very very special is because you can relate to the character that is right well some of them experienced some pretty heavy-duty depression and one of them was Jonah so
• 25:00 - 25:30 let's take a look at old Jonah and see the depression that he was in and the lies that he bought into from Satan which led him down the pathway to depression Jonah as you know was instructed by God to go over to Nineveh and tell the people in this sinful City that he was getting ready to really wipe them out if they didn't repent and of course Jonah fought this because as in
• 25:30 - 26:00 his own words later on he said I knew you were a merciful God and I knew if I went over there and told them that you'd come along and change your mind and repent you've got such a soft heart and the guy just really didn't want to be subjected to that humiliation if God would have smoked him Jonah would have sat up all about little watched it says go get of Lord but he didn't want to be embarrassed and so he said no he
• 26:00 - 26:30 wouldn't go well anyway you know how the story wound up the people repented and God responded to that and did not wipe the city out but Jonah got really depressed over the whole thing and went off to the garden to eat worm I can just seem sulking over there and going over and sitting down under that vine and just being mad and saying I knew we'd do that mumble mumble now what happened well the same thing that may have had
• 26:30 - 27:00 in your life where there were thought in plans they didn't turn out like you thought they should where you believe that someone has taken advantage of you where there's public humiliation where you have been made a spectacle of where you have to face very unpleasant circumstances where you have to admit failure now we're going to Center in on just one of Jonah's symptoms here and
• 27:00 - 27:30 that is self-pity that resulted in his depression so I want to read just a portion of chapter four out of Jonah and this is out of the living paraphrase which i think is a good commentary on the literal Bible I find this valuable to use in that way so when God changed the plans and and saved the people speaking up with verse 1 of chapter 4
• 27:30 - 28:00 this change of plans made Jonah very angry he complained to the Lord about it quote this is exactly what I thought you'd do Lord when I was there in my own country and you first told me to come over here that's why I ran away to Tarshish for I knew you were a gracious God merciful slow to get angry full of kindness I knew how easily you'd cancel your plans for destroying these people please kill me Lord I'd rather be dead
• 28:00 - 28:30 than alive this guy's better to be gone than wrong man I mean he just be cannot tolerate walking down the streets of that town and having all these people looking at him and say well a big shot it didn't come true even self-pity yeah self-pity let me share a personal word here about self-pity being made a spectacle of public humiliation you shared your story
• 28:30 - 29:00 about going down to Nashville to speak and that the Lord really worked through you and it was a beautiful experience and you came home having been on a mountaintop well I was asked to speak at a retreat setting to be one of the main speakers at Barbara or Chester's retreat well I knew there were going to be a lot of women there I had been in the workshops before but I had never been one of the main speakers and I did just what you did my soul I spent
• 29:00 - 29:30 hours and days preparing this material to present to these women maybe a thousand women there I get scared when I get up in front of people but if I'm well prepared you know I'm really been over it why that gives me what I need you know and the Lord takes me through it's my turn to get up I get up in front of all of these women and I forget my
• 29:30 - 30:00 name let alone my notes there I just make a horrible horrible try at even presenting my thoughts so embarrassed I could cry I hurried out of the hall because I knew there wouldn't be anybody to stop me to say you did a good job Annabel I just wanted to go isolate myself so I went to my room and I laid down on the bed and these thoughts just started bombarding me what an idiot I
• 30:00 - 30:30 made of myself how horrible this was oh I just am so embarrassed and then I thought no wait a minute what's happening here and I said I refuse to let those thoughts come in I am NOT going to accept those thoughts I don't know what's going to happen here but I am NOT going to let you tube me Satan with these thoughts and my emotions didn't get the message they are still up
• 30:30 - 31:00 but then I go on to my workshop and guess what I'm teaching I'm teaching on the building up and tearing down of strongholds and how Satan speaks to you and wants to control you and I had a fresh off the press example to give to my class it was very very effective God took that failure and he used it to give beautiful insight to
• 31:00 - 31:30 young women who were sitting there listening to me I want to ask you a question ask me one I can answer that wasn't any fun that you went through that was humiliating I still remember it today today and I've been there I know what you're talking about but you went back to your room and there you're on the bed and then the lights begin to come on God if the Holy Spirit is showing you what the situation is he gives you insight and then you begin to trust
• 31:30 - 32:00 Christ as life and you begin to bail out of this situation now you're in the workshop and so forth what I want to know is this where you get the power to air your dirty linen in front of all those women I watched you before you begin to understand these truths 25 years ago and you would have been so humiliated by that purse press that reminds me just yesterday I was talking with a young
• 32:00 - 32:30 woman who has kids and her husband has a terrible destructive case of cancer as we were talking I said well how you doing and she said oh if you're asking about my emotions they're just going bananas they're just going all over the place and we talked about that for a minute headaches yeah Oh a worry eyes and the whole nine yards and I said well how are you doing in your mind and she said Oh
• 32:30 - 33:00 in my mind I'm doing fine because I know that God's got everything under control now this was all through tears now Satan being the destructive person that he is would tell this lady would try to communicate to her that she is not a victorious Christian that she ought to be all smiles etc that's a lie man so life is a lie her peace is simply in
• 33:00 - 33:30 knowing something knowing that God has everything under control and he has not abandoned her and he is going to somehow work this for good to bring glory to Jesus Christ somehow as she walks on through this thing through tears yes and our final question today comes from a woman who says depression has been almost a way of life for me since my husband's death six years ago quite frankly your
• 33:30 - 34:00 teaching on how to deal with this problem seems too simple I've been going to counseling for two years and I'm still far from being free from depression but I do want to try can you give me a step-by-step procedure well I'll start and give you what I think would be a good step by step procedure here number one I'm presuming that you're a Christian if you are not a Christian that's your first step is to seal that in your mind now then even
• 34:00 - 34:30 though you are a Christian the next step is one that you have to appropriate by action it can't just be black bread on white paper and that is that Christ in dwells you that is basic to your victory right now and so when thoughts come to you I am NOT going to make this I am NOT going to be able to endure those are lies because can anything come into your
• 34:30 - 35:00 life that Jesus Christ cannot handle through you so you must