Give me 30 Minutes and I'll Teach You How Men Fall in Love

Summary

In this enlightening episode, Tomisin sheds light on the mystery of how and why men fall in love. He articulates the complex emotional landscape men navigate and emphasizes that men do fall in love, but not as straightforwardly as many women might expect. From understanding the importance of openness and intrigue to the critical roles of categorization, expectations, action, and appreciation, Tomisin outlines key prerequisites for men to allow themselves to fall deeply in love. These insights are pivotal for anyone looking to understand how men truly connect emotionally and what makes them tick in relationships.

Highlights

• Men need openness mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to fall in love 💖.
• Initial intrigue can boost a man's interest and lead to more connections ✨.
• Categorizing women as 'serious' makes men decide on deeper commitment 💍.
• Expectations play a massive role; they need to feel achievable 📏.
• Investment isn't just money; it's action that fuels love and connection 💪.
• Unleashing his inner child is crucial for his emotional freedom 🐻.
• Appreciation makes men feel valued and open to love 💎.
• Allowing men to be vulnerable is a surefire way to deepen love 💓.

Key Takeaways

• Openness is key! Men must be open mentally and emotionally to fall in love 🌟.
• Intrigue sparks the initial interest, leading to curiosity and action 📈.
• He's got to categorize you; are you 'serious' or 'unserious'? 📋
• Expectations must align with what he can realistically offer 🧐.
• Investment equals action, translating to growing feelings 💼❤️.
• Embrace his inner child creativity and wonder to foster love 🌈.
• Appreciation is vital for a man to feel desired and open up 🌹.
• Let him be soft around you—a sign of genuine love and trust 💕.

Overview

In today's episode, Tomisin tackles the enigmatic subject of how men fall in love, debunking myths and explaining the factors that influence a man's ability to open his heart. The concept of openness is highlighted as foundational—before men can love, they must be open to the idea and potential of love. Men need to feel mentally and emotionally receptive to develop deep feelings, and this begins with the psychological 'open doors' that Tomisin describes.

Tomisin delves into the power of intrigue, which plays a critical role in elevating interest, eventually turning into curiosity and prompting action. Alongside this, the significance of categorization helps men determine the seriousness of a relationship. Men consciously decide whether they see a future with a woman based on various factors, including the seriousness attributed to the potential relationship and whether realistic expectations align.

Moreover, the deep-seated need for appreciation and the ability for a man to reveal his softer, more genuine self around a partner is vital. When men feel cherished and unjudged, their capacity to love expands as they drop their emotional guards. Actions, not just words, are crucial as men show love through deeds over declarations, elevating their investment and deepening emotional ties.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 02:00: Introduction: How Men Fall in Love This chapter seeks to uncover the mystery behind whether men truly fall in love, suggesting that they do, but not in the ways many believe. The discussion emphasizes understanding how men express their emotions and the significance of openness for men when falling in love. It sets the stage for exploring signs that indicate whether a man is genuinely falling for you.
• 02:00 - 05:00: Openness: A Prerequisite for Love The chapter titled 'Openness: A Prerequisite for Love' emphasizes the importance of being open to love in order to form meaningful relationships. It explores the idea that the timing in a man's life plays a crucial role in determining whether he can be a suitable partner. The analogy of a closed door is used to illustrate how being mentally closed off can hinder the possibility of love and connection. The chapter suggests that mental openness is essential for love to flourish, as it allows positive energy and relationships to form and develop.
• 05:00 - 09:00: Intrigue: The Role of Curiosity The chapter, titled "Intrigue: The Role of Curiosity," discusses the concept of curiosity as a mechanism that opens the 'door' within the mind, allowing a flow of thoughts, feelings, and ideas. It equates this flow to energy, suggesting that curiosity permits the exchange and movement of different perspectives and insights. This dynamic is crucial, as it implies that an open mind, stimulated by curiosity, can encourage both the intake of new information and the expression of existing ideas.
• 09:00 - 16:00: Categorization: Serious vs Unserious This chapter explores the theme of being open to love, focusing on a man's potential journey. Initially, he must be receptive to the notion of falling in love, acknowledging the possibility of meeting a remarkable woman. The chapter highlights the depth of connection and emotion that could develop if he allows himself to entertain these possibilities. The metaphor of opening doors represents the man's acceptance and readiness on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level to experience new emotions and connections.
• 16:00 - 22:00: Expectations and Standards The chapter delves into the mindset of men who are emotionally unavailable, symbolized by closed doors representing a closed mind, heart, and soul. It discusses the idea that if a man does not contemplate love as a possible or desirable outcome, he will not pursue or achieve it. This emotional closure can persist even if he encounters someone perfect for him, as long as he remains closed off to the idea of love.
• 22:00 - 30:00: Action: Investment and Feelings This chapter explores the internal conflict of an individual who has met an amazing woman who embodies everything he desires. Despite recognizing her perfection and the time they spend together, he struggles with letting go and fully embracing love, as his heart and mind are closed off to the idea of falling in love due to past experiences or personal barriers.
• 30:00 - 39:00: The Inner Child: Allowing Authenticity The chapter titled 'The Inner Child: Allowing Authenticity' discusses the dynamics of relationships, specifically focusing on the emotional availability of men. It highlights a scenario where, over time, a partner may feel a sense of incompleteness in the relationship due to the man's protective instincts over his heart and soul. This behavior stems from a fear of fully receiving and giving love. The chapter introduces the concept that men have certain prerequisites when it comes to love and relationships and begins to explore the idea of intrigue as a significant factor.
• 39:00 - 45:00: Appreciation: Feeling Wanted This chapter, titled "Appreciation: Feeling Wanted," delves into the dynamics of initial attraction, especially focusing on how men perceive women upon the first meeting. The author emphasizes the importance of making a strong first impression, as it significantly influences a man's level of interest. It discusses the aspects men gauge based on appearance and the vibe during a first encounter. These initial perceptions play a crucial role in the development of love and appreciation in a relationship.
• 45:00 - 51:00: Softness: Letting the Guard Down The chapter discusses the importance of first encounters in determining interest in a relationship. It highlights that while initial curiosity may be influenced by physical appearance, this impression can change significantly during the first real encounter. The text emphasizes that initial interest is not solely dependent on looks and that the dynamics can shift following the initial meeting.

Give me 30 Minutes and I'll Teach You How Men Fall in Love Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 does it feel like a mystery to you how and if men fall in love how is it even possible that you can feel so attached to a man only to find out all this time he's felt nothing for you do men even have emotions well what if I told you men can fall in love but not in the way you think they will which is why on today's show we're going to be discussing everything you need to know about how men fall in love that way you can know for sure if the guy you want is truly falling for you or not Point number one is about openness why because men need very important things to be in
• 00:30 - 01:00 place before falling in love is even a possibility what you might not really understand about guys is depending on the time you meet him in his life he could either be a perfect partner to you or a horrible partner based on where he's at mentally let me explain this to you in a visual sense obviously when you have a closed door what cannot get through nothing right it's very difficult for things to get through a closed door whether it be energy
• 01:00 - 01:30 feelings thoughts emotions perspective either way nothing can flow in or out when you have an open door now all of a sudden you can have a flow right a flow of things coming in and a flow of things uh going out right so the reason I say this right because you want to think of the flow as energy and the energy that is flowing in and out is the feeling and the idea that
• 01:30 - 02:00 this man is open to falling in love as a possibility that he could meet a woman as amazing as you and there's a possibility the two of you might connect and bond so deeply that he starts to feel himself feeling feelings that he's never felt before but before that's even possible he has to be open to the idea of it being possible these doors being opened is like his mind heart and soul
• 02:00 - 02:30 being open right and these doors being closed here is like his mind heart and soul being closed because if a man doesn't actually feel like falling in love is even a possibility in the cards for him something that he wants or desires for himself he will never get there in fact something very weird and strange about men if they're in this stage here where they're closed in their heart mind and soul off to the idea of even falling in love with anyone what will happen is even if you are that
• 02:30 - 03:00 amazing woman with all of the qualities that he's ever wanted in his entire life and you're absolutely perfect and he can even recognize that what will happen is because he is in a place in his heart and his mind where he is closed off to the idea of falling in love he will still hold himself back no matter how amazing it is with you no matter how much time you spend together he will hold a part of himself back from completely letting go
• 03:00 - 03:30 and what will happen is down the line as the relationship goes on and on and on you'll feel like something's missing you'll feel like he's not completely here with you because the man is going to be taking some of that of his heart and some of his soul and keeping it for himself trying to keep it protected because he's not ready to receive love he's also not ready to completely Give Love Point number two is about Intrigue now something you must notice remember I told you there are prerequisites for men
• 03:30 - 04:00 in order for them to first fall in love with you they need to be in place first so we also have Intrigue you have to understand with men everything is like a gauge I want you taking notice of this as well because with men the level of interest that they have in you based on what they see you as when they first see you you know what I mean what you look like and the vibe that you give off in that first encounter is going to drastically affect his interest level in
• 04:00 - 04:30 now there's good news and bad news here the bad news we'll start with that is that this process of that first encounter is really going to determine a lot of this here okay the Curiosity however it's not only and solely going to be based on your looks in fact if the first time he's getting to see you is also his first real encounter with you this can drastically shift after that first encounter so what I mean by that is his interest could start a little bit
• 04:30 - 05:00 down here just simply based on your looks without ever meeting you and then by the time he actually meets you and has that first real encounter with you his interest is shot up to here but what I want you to understand is after that first encounter this is then directly going to be correlated to his level of Interest so what does that really mean that means that he will not be curious about you if he does not have a high level of
• 05:00 - 05:30 interest in you this is also kind of referred to as entry because this curiosity is what's going to motivate him to say yes I'm interested in her and I'm curious about her so because of that I'm going to take action on this curiosity and this Intrigue by asking her out on more dates by trying to get her number and see her more days than just today so the reason I say that is because without this interest which leads to curiosity and Intrigue which
• 05:30 - 06:00 then leads to him asking you out on more dates there's no possibility of falling in love so what I want you to understand is when you're meeting men you want to also be gauging what is his real level of interest in you see one of the easy mistakes to make is to not be gauging this and you be the one pushing the relationship forward or you being the one trying to ask him out or get his number on the second date or whatever the case may be because what you're not doing is you're not able to properly
• 06:00 - 06:30 gauge his level of interest in you and it could be down here or even all the way down here and you might end up on a date with a guy whose level of interest in you is very low but the problem with that is if his interest in you is very low so is his curiosity in you but he's on a date with you not because he had a lot of curiosity and wanted to take action on that Curiosity but because you did a lot of the progressing of the relationship ship and a lot of the
• 06:30 - 07:00 pursuing of the relationship do you see how now it snowballs into a larger problem when you end up on a date with a man who you've been pursuing because now you end up on a date with a man who has low interest in you and low curiosity in you and because of that low interest and low curiosity there's a very lack of desire to pursue this relationship and progress It Forward on his part but there's also not uh the right environment for him to even be able to
• 07:00 - 07:30 fall in love because remember I said at the beginning there are certain prerequisites that have to be in place that just means rules okay that have to be in place in order for men to even have the possibility of Falling in Love Without interest Intrigue and curiosity he will not fall in love Point number three is about categorization why because men have to decide for themselves who are you going to be in his life what do I mean by that see let's break it down in its most simplest
• 07:30 - 08:00 terms there are unserious women and there are serious women you can really only be one of the two now over the course of time I will tell you this there could be a little bit of an overlap where you could kind of at certain times be a little bit of both and as he's getting to know you sometimes he's going to think to himself maybe she's a little bit unserious and sometimes he might think to himself maybe she's a little bit more of the
• 08:00 - 08:30 serious category but what will happen eventually is at one point or another he will decide for himself for sure and for final which category you're in now what does that consist of that consists of the way you talk about yourself the way you talk about your past relationships especially the way you talk about the future that you desire for yourself how sure or unsure you are about your own decisions uh how well you set boundaries and stand on those boundaries because men are engaging that from the very
• 08:30 - 09:00 beginning all of these factors will tell him and communicate to him are you a serious girl meaning someone he would want to AKA wife or are you an unserious girl which we can just describe as a you know what okay so the reason I'm saying this is because this is such an important part of whether men will even allow themselves to fall in love with you because if they meet you and they decide to themselves you're an unserious woman or just a woman that he shouldn't
• 09:00 - 09:30 take seriously then what he's also going to decide is if he's going to continue messing with you in the process of messing with you right he is not going to allow himself to cast feelings right no feelings the reason I say that is because when men mature they get to a point where they realize if I'm dealing with an unserious girl it makes no sense to be allowing your heart to really be invested in anything that's going on here okay so I also put in here no
• 09:30 - 10:00 investment okay because see men are very weird they know how to spend time with someone without really giving their true authentic full self to that person it's a very weird thing that happens and it may have happened to you if you've been with the man for a long period of time only to realize down the line that he didn't feel the same way as you men can kind of like switch off their feelings when they make a decision that this is
• 10:00 - 10:30 an unserious situation and I'm with an unserious woman so we want to make sure we present you as a serious woman that way when he decides to himself that you are actually someone he should be taking seriously because you have the qualities of a serious woman now we can have real investment okay and real investment also means him giving his true authentic self to you in
• 10:30 - 11:00 this relationship and him remember like we said at the beginning him actually being open in his heart his mind his body his soul his Spirit to allowing himself to completely fall into the process and experience of being in love with you and feeling exactly what he feels because the ironic part is that even in in a situation in which he's with a woman who he deems to himself to be unserious someone that he doesn't want a wife right he might end up actually catching some
• 11:00 - 11:30 feelings but as soon as he feels those feelings coming within him he'll say no no no no no no no no no we're not doing that here because this is not the type of woman you want to be falling head over heels in love with so even if you feel things suppress them and suppress them very deep and suppress them a lot never let them let never let them come out okay this can also happen if a man has adopted the mindset that he is not open to the possibility of Falling in Love remember I told you there are very
• 11:30 - 12:00 important rules that have to be in place for a man to even fall in love we're very logical thinkers so in order for us to let our emotions run wild we have to feel like certain things are present and here because it makes sense to us if those things are present that we can then let ourselves go if we don't feel like certain things are present it's very difficult for us to let ourselves go Point number four is about expectations because men need to have an understanding that what you want and what you expect from this relation relationship he's actually able to
• 12:00 - 12:30 provide as he begins dating you and getting to know you better he's going to get an understanding of what your standards are okay the line and the bar and the threshold that you need for any man you're going to be in a romantic relationship with now here's a reality that will probably be painful for you men then decide based on what they're going through in their life their own capabilities their understandings and their desires they're going to then decide based on her standards do I fall
• 12:30 - 13:00 below the threshold here right of what she's expecting and what I can give and what I have to offer or am I someone who's very much capable of meeting her standards and also having the desire to meet these standards because of how much interest and curiosity I have like we talked about before the reason I'm pointing this very important thing out to you is because these expectations will drastically change if a man is even
• 13:00 - 13:30 willing to continue on with the situation once he comes to the realization that he either may or may not be able to meet your standards because like I said before men are very logical thinkers so it's very difficult for us to even see a purpose in investing ourselves in a situation in which we don't see an end goal or we don't see light at the end of the tunnel so if we come into a situation and we actually believe that we're not going to get our desired outcome which may be being with you in a long-term serious
• 13:30 - 14:00 relationship because we can't meet your standards because we know we're not where we're at supposed to be at in our life in order to get to those standards that you have for a man then we will give up and this is very sad and I want you to really take this in because it's a very weird thing that us men do see uh and you can talk to your other guy friends or even your dad or a brother and ask him this personally do guys right this is the thing that we do we have a girl in mind a lot of times where we think to
• 14:00 - 14:30 ourselves man if I ever got the opportunity to be with that girl I'll get my credit right I'll get my money right I'll get my career right I'll lose weight I'll I'll get a chiseled face I'll get a six-pack I'm going to you know what I mean I'm going to be a millionaire I'm going to drive a Lamborghini once I get my life right I'm going to go for that girl right or before I go for that girl I need to get this and this and this and this and this together right men will think like that a lot of times especially if they have
• 14:30 - 15:00 one particular woman in mind but here's the thing right if he ends up in a situation because I I remember I told you at the beginning the timeline in which you meet a man will also affect his mindset at that particular time so sometimes you'll meet a man and when he's in a place in his life where he feels like ah I just don't have it I'm not where I want to be I'm not where I need to be and I'm damn sure not where I'm supposed to be if I'm going to be with a woman who who I deem to be very
• 15:00 - 15:30 valuable who I deem to be very gorgeous who I deem to be very desirable who I also know will have very very high standards and I also also know that because of her high standards and because of the fact that I'm not where I know I should be in order to be with this woman that I should just not even bother and sometimes you may have had this happen to you where you'll meet a guy and you'll wonder to yourself why did that guy seem to just give up cuz I kind of liked him but it kind of seemed like he just stopped trying after a
• 15:30 - 16:00 while sometimes guys will even meet you and realize they can't be with you because they're not where they need to be and something about you and the quality of you as a person will actually trigger them to realizing how much more they still have to work on and unfortunately just like all the other prere prerequisites when men realize that they're not where they should be and they still have a lot of work to do in order to be with a woman as desirable as you they will give up on the idea of
• 16:00 - 16:30 allowing themselves to Fall in Love by the way if you want personalized relationship advice from me head down to the link in my bio at the top where it says private relationship advice click that submit your question as many details as you want and I'm going to respond with a voice message to you usually 8 to 10 minutes long and I'm going to give you some comprehensive details of personal relationship advice or perspective on your situation Point number five is about action what I want you to realize for men is that
• 16:30 - 17:00 investment and feelings are actually one and the same this is going to sound very strange because you're very different for men as they take more action for you right they're putting more and more I guess we can say coins in this investment pot okay I'm just making them X's as he deposits more and more coins in this investment pot simultaneously his feelings for you are going up and up and up because what men understand the way our
• 17:00 - 17:30 brains work is as we take action for you it actually helps us realize how much we care about you and subsequently the more investment we put into you the more action we take for you the more we recognize our own feelings for you and the deeper of a bond we feel towards you because we understand as men not so much how to talk about our feelings but we understand how to show our feelings for our woman through action for her so when we continue to do that we realize within
• 17:30 - 18:00 ourselves the only way we can continue to take action for a woman like this is if we truly care about her right that's how we correlate love so the reason I'm saying this is because I also want you to be seeing this or taking notice of this because for men if they're not taking action for you right or taking very little action for you in this relationship then the same thing applies his feelings will be going down for you if not already
• 18:00 - 18:30 non-existent and I want you to understand how important this it please if you don't remember anything remember this men will only fall in love with you if they are investing in you and I'm not just talking about financial investment cuz when I say investment I know a lot of you guys think money I'm not talking about money when I say A man investing in you I'm talking about taking action for you in every sense of the word I'm talking about in investing in you emotionally I'm talking about investing
• 18:30 - 19:00 in you spiritually I'm talking about putting time energy and focus into you I'm talking about having heart tohe hearts with you I'm talking about uh taking care of you when you're sick I'm talking about solving problems for you at work I'm talking about like every single thing that a man can do for you emotionally spiritually financially physically all of that eating you out everything okay all of that is investment that he puts in you men understand how to be problem solvers
• 19:00 - 19:30 there's a reason we have the term happy wife happy life because men understand if I take action for my woman my woman is happy I'm happy okay and everyone's happy men also understand that if they don't feel things for a woman and if they don't really love that woman then subsequently they're going to be taking a lot less action for her okay investment AKA action is always correlated to a man's feelings they cannot fall in love with you unless they're taking action action for you if he's taking a lot of action for you then
• 19:30 - 20:00 his feelings go up if he's not his feelings go down Point number six is about the inner child ooh I really want you to focus on this because this is such an important part of men's ability to fall in love you might not realize how important this is but see men we have this inner child within us that never really goes away you know how they say men uh mature slower than women that's because when we're boys we're so we're at our most curious we're at our
• 20:00 - 20:30 most creative the world is like our oyster we just go around exploring things laughing digging ourselves in the dirt like we're we're a very very unique version of ourselves and then as we grow up we're told to be serious we're told to not have as many emotions except for anger and we're told to just kind of like be more stoic and less curious and more focused on just doing doing what we're told to do and not thinking about
• 20:30 - 21:00 anything outside of that almost like a version of being a soldier but this is a problem in multiple ways the main way it's a problem though is that in your relationship with him there's going to be a deep burning desire for him to feel like he can still be this inner child with you meaning this inner child that likes to laugh that likes to have fun that likes to tell jokes that likes to be curious that likes to be weird and
• 21:00 - 21:30 quirky and say weird things and blurt out weird things and not filter his thoughts that inner child has a desire to come out in your relationship and let me tell you some honest truth here okay I'm just going to be very real with you some women that men will get into relationships with will create an environment in which the man does not feel comfortable bringing that inner child out why because he'll realize over
• 21:30 - 22:00 the course of time in the relationship that if he brings this inner child out so imagine this inner child steps out here if he brings this inner child out of him and he shows that to that woman that woman will judge him will shame him and essentially tell him you're bad for bringing that inner child out I don't want to see it and I want you to suppress it and continue being the stoic man that I've been wanting you to be
• 22:00 - 22:30 don't make those type of jokes they're inappropriate don't say those type of things though that's weird don't talk like this that's you're you're a strange person I'm judging you all of these things will make a man feel like oh well I guess you know I can't have fun I guess I can't joke I guess I can't be myself okay this is horrible men will find it essentially impossible to fall in love when they feel like their inner child cannot come out right when they they feel like their inner child must
• 22:30 - 23:00 continue to be suppressed it'll be impossible for them to fall in love because this curiosity this Yearning For Life this uh you know wideeye seeing color digging yourself in the dirt just enjoying what life has to offer you don't want your man to ever lose that because when he loses that he's going to lose that twinkle in his eye he's going to lose that passion towards you and his relationship with you because that also EX exists in this inner child right that
• 23:00 - 23:30 passion for life and that passion for other people when you suppress that inner child not only are you suppressing all of the fun that he wants to have with you and in this relationship with you you're also suppressing all of that passion that he should be bringing to his relationships okay and especially his relationship with you and what you're going to find is this man will find it pretty much impossible to allow himself to fully let go because love and
• 23:30 - 24:00 falling in love is also about letting go letting go of control of yourself letting go of control of your emotions letting go of your heart and really giving it to someone else who you're not sure what they're going to do with it but you have to understand the only way to truthfully let go is to feel accepted and a man can't feel accepted if he feels like his inner child is constantly being suppressed and told not to exist in the open because he needs to be uh someone totally different a
• 24:00 - 24:30 standup straight guy who doesn't say certain things and doesn't do certain things because that's what you want instead Point number seven is about appreciation something you will definitely underestimate is a man's desire to feel appreciated wherever he's at see when men are at their most comfortable they feel like they're also desired but see your version of desire and a man's version of Desire is two different desires see you have a desire to feel like your Man actually wants you thinks you're attractive thinks you're
• 24:30 - 25:00 sexy wants to be around you wants to touch you wants to feel you that's your version of Desire men also have a version of Desire except for them it's really appreciation because they want to feel like they're wanted where they are you see when men are in a place where they don't feel appreciated right they feel very very uncomfortable and they feel uncomfortable because they feel like well well if I'm not wanted here
• 25:00 - 25:30 then why am I here maybe I should stop being me when men don't feel appreciated they also do a lot more suppressing of their emotions suppressing of their desires suppressing of their thoughts and their feelings now remember like I said if men don't feel like they can be themselves if they don't feel like they can be authentic to who they are they're never going to allow themselves to let go we talked about being open at the beginning this is part of the open process men are going to start to become come very closed off when they feel like
• 25:30 - 26:00 they're not appreciated it's going to create a desire for him to want to really really leave okay because when a man feels appreciated or when he gets into an environment think of these as environments here when he can get himself into an environment where he feels appreciated this is where he wants to stay right this is where he wants to be real right this is where he wants to express all of these amazing things that you
• 26:00 - 26:30 want men doing with you because if he's feeling this then he's feeling his ability to let himself go and let himself feel I told you men are very logical thinkers if we don't have things in place we find it difficult to allow ourselves to just let go of our emotions and be honest with ourselves of what we feel and what we want we're emotional beings but we kind of leave that locked behind a very thick and uh very hard to get open door so what you want to
• 26:30 - 27:00 understand is men's desire to feel appreciated is going to be the difference between whether they allow themselves to even fall in love or not because when they do feel appreciated and they feel wanted and they feel like you you uh want them to be there want to be around them that you appreciate their presence and appreciate the things that they do for you right then he feels like okay this is a place where I should be because this is a place where I'm desired it's like a man's version of
• 27:00 - 27:30 Desire Point number eight is about men being a baby around you see what you have to understand is when men go out into the world they have to present a very particular side of themselves they have to present this really hard exterior here now I'm talking about the exterior in terms of their emotional state their spiritual State their mental state because they need to be a man like a soldier they need to stand up straight they need to be hard they need to be able to take it and they need to be able to not say anything about it when it hurts them or they they feel pain right
• 27:30 - 28:00 this is the emotional state that men have to go out into the world in in order to survive and in order to thrive it's kind of like you know a version of you know the hunters and gatherers when we used to be Caven because the men with the hard exterior are the ones that actually make it through the winter okay so that mentality is what he goes out into the world with however this mentality of this hard shell this I don't feel things I'm a hard strong man
• 28:00 - 28:30 I'm capable of doing anything I have Ultra confidence in myself and I never get sad or any emotion except for anger that's great when he goes out into the world however when he comes and he is around you right so I'll even put here with you you want this part of him to be presented this soft core this soft gooey mushy inside okay don't think of it in a dirty way the reason I'm I'm saying this is because men have a very deep desire
• 28:30 - 29:00 to be the softer lighter more emotional side of themselves with just you he's not trying to do that with everyone else okay and he's not even trying to show that with everyone else but men do want you to soften them up they want to have a soft spot for you you're his woman you're the apple of his eye you're supposed to make him a little bit softer and when you can bring that out of him that softer side even though he's really
• 29:00 - 29:30 hardcore okay and when you guys go out in public you can literally see him this is something that you'll notice right if you're really softening up your man it's a little little B bit of a pro tip you'll notice that when you guys are together he's real nice and soft but if you guys go out somewhere together you'll notice literally as you guys are getting ready and going out you'll notice him like stiffing up you'll notice his energy feels a little bit different and you'll notice him kind of like hardcore it you know what I mean and when he's talking to people you'll to see a different side of him because
• 29:30 - 30:00 you're used to seeing this soft part of him when it's just you and him but now that you guys are around other people he has to put back on this hard shell and the only time you'll see or experience this softcore again is if you guys are sharing a moment or you guys are talking directly to each other because what should be happening when men are really falling in love is they'll start to present to you and only you and only around you this softer side of themselves okay so if you're ever trying to see if you can gauge whether this is
• 30:00 - 30:30 happening or not ask some of his guy friends about how is he around them versus how is he around you if you hear them make comments uh like damn he is totally different when he's around you or he is so much nicer when he's around you that's a clear sign that he's letting that baby out he's letting that softer side out he's letting that more emotional side out where he's going to discover so many more things about himself because finally he's in a place where he feels safe enough letting that
• 30:30 - 31:00 part of him out because trust me as a man it's very difficult for us to feel safe enough to let anyone see anything else except this hard shell on the outside but it's a beautiful thing when we finally feel safe and comfortable enough emotionally and spiritually to be much softer around you