How NOT to SCREW UP Your College Essay (5 Don'ts)

Summary

In this engaging video by the Garden of English, hosted by Tim Freitas and featuring Jamie Walton, viewers are guided through five crucial pitfalls to avoid when writing their college essay. Drawing from years of experience in college admissions, Jamie offers valuable insights into what can cause an application to be dismissed despite being academically competent. From the importance of proper grammar to avoiding overly personal or polarizing topics, this session provides essential advice to ensure your essay contributes positively to your college application process.

Highlights

• Proofreading is crucial to demonstrate effort and avoid disqualification. 📚
• Avoid writing a resume; engage the reader with a compelling story. 📝
• Essays centered around big sports moments are overdone—focus on personal insights instead. 🏆
• Plagiarism is a serious offense with severe consequences. 🔍
• Tone matters—stay away from inappropriate language and polarizing topics unless handled delicately. 🤐

Key Takeaways

• Grammar matters! Proofreading is essential to avoid embarrassing mistakes. ✍️
• Make your essay interesting; don't just list your achievements. 📜
• Share personal growth, not just the thrill of a winning moment. 🌟
• Originality triumphs; steer clear of copying from the internet. 🚫
• Watch your tone: profanity and polarizing topics can backfire. ⚠️

Overview

Jamie Walton, with extensive experience in college admissions, shares hard-hitting tips on what not to do in a college essay, peppering his advice with anecdotes from thousands of essays he has reviewed. Despite the nervousness most students feel, he assures that while a stellar essay won't guarantee acceptance, a bad one can certainly keep you out.

One of the first lessons Jamie exports is that grammar shouldn't trip you up; proofreading is a non-negotiable. He and host Tim reinforce that essays shouldn't feel like a resume, highlighting the need for engaging and personal stories instead of repetitive listings of achievements.

Though sharing personal or sensitive topics might be tempting, Jamie advises caution. Essays should be your authentic voice, but being mindful of potential readers' diverse perspectives can make or break a submission. Conclude with care: essays that disrupt or disturb can lose you a spot, emphasizing the overall message of writing thoughtfully and genuinely.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 01:00: Introduction and Guest Introduction In the introduction chapter, Tim Freitas introduces the theme of the discussion, which revolves around the common pitfalls to avoid when writing a college essay. Tim welcomes Jamie Walton, a friend and expert in the field of writing, who is expected to share his insights and expertise on the subject. The chapter sets the stage for valuable advice and tips on crafting a successful college essay.
• 01:00 - 01:30: Guest Experience in College Admissions The chapter titled 'Guest Experience in College Admissions' starts with an exchange where Jamie is asked to recount their previous roles in college admissions. Jamie shares that they worked at the Massachusetts College of Pharmacy shortly after college and then at Bentley College, now Bentley University, where the competitive nature of admissions required careful decision-making, emphasizing the role of college essays.
• 01:30 - 02:00: Purpose of College Essays In this chapter, an assistant director of admission shares insights from their experience of reviewing thousands of college essays over five years. The discussion focuses on the crucial role of essays in the college application process, highlighting the importance of understanding what to do and what to avoid when writing them. The chapter aims to guide students in crafting effective and compelling college essays.
• 02:00 - 03:30: The Importance of Grammar The chapter discusses strategies for writing a college essay, specifically focusing on common mistakes that should be avoided. The conversation is framed as a precursor to a later discussion on what should be done in these essays. The narrative almost serves as a reassurance to students, advising them to remain calm and not be swayed by the potentially intimidating guidance counselors who may inadvertently increase their anxiety levels. The goal of the chapter is to provide practical advice in a conversational manner.
• 03:30 - 05:30: Avoid Being Boring This chapter emphasizes the importance of not being boring in a college essay. It was noted that while a compelling essay rarely secures a spot on its own, a lackluster one could hinder an otherwise strong application. The essay has the potential to cause hesitation in the admission decision, therefore, it should be interesting and engaging to complement the academic credentials of the applicant.
• 05:30 - 08:00: The Pitfalls of Sports Stories The chapter emphasizes the importance of grammar when writing sports stories, particularly in the context of English and AP English teaching. It advises writers to proofread their work thoroughly and even suggests having an English teacher, parent, or guidance counselor review it. The key takeaway is that attention to grammar not only enhances the quality of the writing but also demonstrates the writer's dedication and effort.
• 08:00 - 09:00: Plagiarism Warning The chapter titled 'Plagiarism Warning' focuses on the importance of grammatical accuracy and spell checks while writing. It highlights a point about the commonly overlooked feature in word processors, the red and blue squiggly lines, which indicate grammatical errors and spellchecking. A notable anecdote shared is about a senior who was unaware of what those lines indicated. It emphasizes the significance of paying attention to these hints not only for academic success but also in preparing documents for college admissions. It suggests that these checks demonstrate effort and attention to detail, which are crucial for academic and professional communication.
• 09:00 - 12:00: Inappropriate Content and Tone The chapter 'Inappropriate Content and Tone' discusses the importance of proper grammar and structure in writing, emphasizing that it's not just about commas and periods, but also about avoiding run-on sentences and ensuring coherence. The text suggests that the effort put into crafting a well-structured essay reflects a student's dedication and seriousness about their education. Conversely, submitting work that resembles a casual text message indicates a lack of interest in educational opportunities.
• 12:00 - 14:00: Recap of the Five Don'ts The chapter dives into the perspective of a college admissions officer regarding the importance of a well-written application piece. While a polished and articulate submission might hint at a student's potential success in college due to their effort and skill, the officer acknowledges that it's common for students to receive help with their writing. Hence, extreme expectations aren't often set just because a student demonstrates remarkable writing ability in their application. Only occasionally does exceptional writing talent make a significant impact in admissions decisions.
• 14:00 - 15:00: Conclusion and Closing Remarks The chapter emphasizes the importance of creativity and well-written content, contrasting this with work that only meets mediocre standards typical of an average high school student's effort. It warns against errors in writing mechanics, suggesting peer review as a solution. The chapter further advises against producing boring content, recognizing the challenge for teachers who are tasked with guiding students in English.

How NOT to SCREW UP Your College Essay (5 Don'ts) Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 this is the garden of English I'm Tim Freitas this is my dear friend Jamie well and and if you're interested in knowing what you should not do when you write your college essay you'll want to tune in for this [Applause] [Music] we are here with my friend Jimmy Walton like I had mentioned earlier and Jamie has decided to come in and tell us about his expertise in the field of writing
• 00:30 - 01:00 college essays so Jamie what I would like to ask you is first of all what was your position in college admissions before you took your new job yeah sure I worked for two different colleges Massachusetts College of Pharmacy right out of college for a couple of years and then I spent a little over five years at bentley college which is not Bentley University and which is a fairly competitive school so we had to definitely make difficult decisions so we're essays did come into play and I
• 01:00 - 01:30 was what was called an assistant director of admission there excellent excellent and so you saw a lot of college essays you had to make a lot of decisions based on college essays yeah we would get up to six thousand applications total I would personally read probably at least a thousand of them first and then I would read others as well as it went through the process so thousands throughout the five years and all of them have met okay excellent and so that was a required that was something it was required yes okay well we want to actually help our viewers know what not to do on their college
• 01:30 - 02:00 essay and we're gonna bring you back in a couple of weeks or maybe even just next week and talk about what they should do on their college essay so you want to stay tuned for that but today we'll talk about what they shouldn't do and so why don't you hit us with let's do five things that we should not do with our college essay yeah and and you know just as a general remark with all of these is something that keep in mind because a lot of times students freaked out about essays and some of that comes from the guidance counselor they're like si si and and so they get really scared
• 02:00 - 02:30 it was almost never the case or someone got in purely because of their essay it was very rare occasionally something would so grabbed us that we would look more into the student and they got in but that's why I'm saying this now the don'ts yes there have been essays that kept you out and that's why okay you want to remember that the essay can maybe won't get you into a college but it can't keep you out if you're already you know a good candidate academically the essay can cause them to pause so
• 02:30 - 03:00 that is something we want to avoid exactly now the first one I you're gonna love this being English teacher especially as an AP English teacher is grammar don't screw up the grammar that doesn't mean you know every little thing but make sure you proofread have an English teacher a parent a guidance counselor several people actually proofread it because it shows that the very least you put some time and effort into it okay now when we
• 03:00 - 03:30 think about grammar here I want to also remind folks that those red squiggly lines and those blue squiggly lines that show up in your word processor are things that you should probably click on I actually had a senior tell me last week that he had no idea that that's what that actually meant in the word processor that he was supposed to look at that for some sort of grammar or spell check so just tossing that up there hey yeah what about what does the grammar actually show you had mentioned that I showed that you put effort in and what not how does it how does it show that lets say to you as a college admissions all right well keep in mind
• 03:30 - 04:00 in to and I say grammar is a general term of 1/2 paragraphs have sentence structure don't have run-on sentences so it's not just commas and periods but it's just make sure so so what it tells me is even if it's not the greatest essay as we'll talk about some other things at least you put the time and effort it mattered to you there's a kind of person who's gonna put effort into it if you send in something that's like what is this it's like a text message to your mom then it tells us you don't really care if you get into our school now what does that actually mean towards
• 04:00 - 04:30 the school so I'm a college admissions officer I see that you even put the effort in to have a polished piece at least well how does that translate to college skills like what does that stand out for when you're like I actually think that might lead to a better student well I mean it definitely can if it's really well-written but we also recognize that a typical student is gonna get helped and so we don't put too much like wow this person is gonna be Shakespeare we need to accept them from a writing style occasionally a student's just a tremendous writer and you can
• 04:30 - 05:00 tell the creativity is all over the page and it's just really well-written the average is a high school student doing their best to write something and we just again that's why it's on the don't list it's like it that like at the very least sending something someone says are you put some time to so don't have poor mechanics in your writing yeah and one of the ways you can fix that is by getting it for Fred right okay right excellent number two don't be boring that's hard that's hard for you to say to an English teacher isn't that my job yeah yeah if
• 05:00 - 05:30 you know so one of the things that we typically see is students regurgitating the resume or their list and you're already gonna put that in your application right you're gonna put I'm involved in I'm on National Honor Society I play soccer I'm in the theater or whatever the Latin club and we're gonna see that and that's great if you have leadership positions but if you just write an essay about all of those things generally it didn't give us anything more and it just bored us to
• 05:30 - 06:00 tears right reading a resume nobody wants to do that right you want to think of this as an admission counselor probably twenty-five year old a 30 year old most of them are they're gonna be reading them sitting down with a cup of coffee and they got to read like 200 of these today they're going to skim it immediately if you're boring okay you actually think of like maybe one of those boring things you've ever picked out an essay or am I putting you too much on the spot no I I think that just
• 06:00 - 06:30 be generalities nobody likes reading generalities right like I appreciate integrity and you might talk about that but you did so what I would say in the news I'll mention this but but you want to if you can tell a story people love to read stories so a store in your life that demonstrates it to grabs people's attention right so it's okay to talk about you know really caring about integrity but you better be proving it and we'll talk about right and you shouldn't have to show you say it yeah
• 06:30 - 07:00 if the story shows it gotcha awesome right all right number three stay away from the last second shot or goal it kind of goes with the last one so a lot of people are really excited you won the championship game you spend and the reason that is you can write that but I were at so many essays were 75% of it was sending it up you know he checked me against the boards I passed the puck I got it back I scored and we won and that's great and the crowd went wild I'm sure your school loved it
• 07:00 - 07:30 admission counselor doesn't care they just they're like okay we read a million of these right and so it's fine if you want to include them what does it tell us about you and so maybe it's two sentences of the ball rolled around the rim and out in my chain my life changed and then from there what did I learn from that failure that's great but don't give us a whole essay about your championship game and at the end I learned how to suffer whatever in like one sentence yeah you know you want to make sure that essay
• 07:30 - 08:00 teaches us something about you excellent so so rather than actually set up to the moment of what you learned and have that in one sentence you want to actually expose expose what you learned throughout the whole process exactly the whole part of it right so if the story tells us and we always say it's your voice yeah everything else recommendations the transcript it's all everyone else's voice about you or your learning it teaches us SATs the essays your time to give us your voice and so if it's all about an event it doesn't
• 08:00 - 08:30 really teach us anything about you it doesn't do anything all right for it for is a really quick one don't borrow from the internet in nowadays don't we call that plagiarizing I think that's okay don't borrow from no or oh like a grammar one that should be pretty obvious but there's a lot out there that you can get most likely they will find it even if they don't it's not worth the risk because if they find it you're never getting in it's just not gonna happen it's a deal yeah so don't do that all right so you're saying I should pay my smart friend no no no of
• 08:30 - 09:00 course not don't do that but oh that's more of you know that the admissions counselors will never know if you do that yeah unless he happens to write the same essay that he wrote it applies to school right but we also care about integrity like we just mentioned in that last example we show we should all joking aside on that one yeah do it yourself it's your voice right right we they want to know about they want to really know about you as a student right and so a person is not going to be able to do that right there might be write a
• 09:00 - 09:30 great essay but they're not going to give us your voice um and so lastly number five is be very careful this is general so we can get into a little bit but be careful about how inappropriate someone might take it and the hard thing is here you don't know who's going to read it right so and usually it's gonna be more than one writes it's typically gonna go through one even a second one and then if it gets further and the more than one reader you mean yet more than one okay admission counselor okay like for us I would read if you were an absolutely
• 09:30 - 10:00 horrible candidate your you'd probably get denied it without getting read by someone else if you were great you might get accepted with a quick glance and then okay yup but most would get read a second time by someone else and then even a committee to look at it so a possible four or five people or more could end up reading some or all of your essay it and so one person might not mind profanity like there did with it they use it all the time but then this other person is offended by it right and so now again I
• 10:00 - 10:30 have an essay once where it's just littered with profanity I think if it's well placed and it's and it tells us something that it's the essays trying to draw how like someone called you a name or something like that that's fine but to just use profanity which most don't but don't do that right yeah cuz it's it's another big thing to stay away from with that is hot topics highly polarizing topics not to time give your opinion on what side of the
• 10:30 - 11:00 aisle but I would say politics right here's why I voted out Trump here's why I hate Donald Trump you don't know what that admission counselor is going they may love it because they're with you but there's a good chance they're not and now you've just brought in an element that you don't want in your college now now what about if we do want to discuss a polarizing topic because it's my voice and this is part of my identity is there a way that I can actually discuss that you know in a manner that will at least
• 11:00 - 11:30 make it so that we're not going to turn somebody off is it more like don't be polarizing with the polarizing topic or should we just avoid the polarizing topic I would advise avoiding it completely there should be some other way to bring out your voice without bringing something that that's gonna be polarizing if you really want to your paper at that point make sure it's written from a place that respects the other side so it's hey this is my feelings on this
• 11:30 - 12:00 but I totally understand that there's it you know somehow which would be difficult in an essay cuz it's not a long we're not talking about a six page paper here right it's gonna be difficult to do that so if you can avoid it then do it but if it's something that's really passionate if something happened to you right well if you identify that we wrote this topic or would this issue then and it's a real big piece to you then you may want to write about that because they want to find out who these people are as people exit who these students are as people right because they're students who are actually
• 12:00 - 12:30 breathing emotional individuals with stories to tell right but there's other examples like one colleague told me they wrote where about they made out with a guy on October 9 the whole essay was about that like no no why would you write about something like so just just this romantic romantic endeavor that happened and and and it's like okay that's just weird another person I wrote the quote they've started their essay with man is a vile species that may be true but and you
• 12:30 - 13:00 mean like mankind here not just like men right right right yeah it was mankind and he went on to say we kill each other we rave each other and all of that stuff you can make an argument for that your college essay to really bring down the room make people feel really bad and really doom and gloom it's gonna tend to be counterproductive so that this particular essay put someone on a wait list they would have gotten in and they never got into the university because of
• 13:00 - 13:30 that essay gotcha so again it might not get you in but it can't keep you out all right so give me your your five write in a row one last time click last review here what are they Umbra Juanes grammar make sure that you don't have poor grammar have strong mechanics okay don't be boring don't regurgitate your resume number three stay away from that last-second shot or goal meaning be more personal rather than just describe an event for don't borrow from the internet explains itself five be very careful about inappropriate language or
• 13:30 - 14:00 inappropriate material okay or at least you know or if it's going to be polarizing or if it's potentially polarizing just make sure that you're tying to who you are as a person instead of just trying to be polarizing in your paper exactly awesome okay well I really appreciate it if you actually appreciated this video by all means feel free to tell us in the comments below the easiest thing you can do to help the garden grow is to click subscribe and like we're going to do one more session
• 14:00 - 14:30 with my dear friend Jaime about things that you want to do in your college essay and then after that we'll actually talk about planning your college essay and producing such so he'll be back one more time you can also follow the garden of english on instagram so we'd be thrilled to see you there you can support the garden of english in other ways you can donate you can buy some merch there are all links to these things in the description down below so without further ado you all have a great day [Music]