How To Attract Anyone As An Average Guy, INSTANTLY

Summary

Dillon Latham shares his transformative journey of overcoming insecurities and the feeling of invisibility at social events. At a party, he discovered how being attractive is more about energy and mindset rather than looks alone. By embracing a carefree attitude and treating social interactions like a business deal where walking away is an option, he realized the power of natural charisma. Through trial and error, Dillon learned that authenticity and self-confidence can attract anyone, proving that being yourself holds more charm than trying to impress.

Highlights

• Dillon felt invisible at a party until he discovered that attraction was about energy, not just looks. ✨
• Stumbling across a Google article, Dillon equipped himself with tips to feel less anxious around women. 📚
• By changing his mindset, Dillon successfully attracted a girl, realizing that authenticity is more appealing than pretense. 👥
• His newfound confidence led him to engage in meaningful interactions, even with the most attractive girl at the party. 💪
• Understanding social dynamics, Dillon noted that projecting independence and treating people equally garners more respect. 🤝

Key Takeaways

• Attraction isn't all about looks; it's more about the energy you project and your confidence. 🌟
• Embrace authenticity, and don't put others on a pedestal – it makes interactions natural and more engaging. Confidence is key. 😎
• Learn to let go of the outcome. Treat every social encounter with a laid-back attitude, as if you could just walk away. 🚶‍♂️

Overview

Dillon Latham recounts a pivotal moment at a party where he went from feeling invisible to realizing that attraction isn't just about looks—it's about the energy and confidence one projects. Initially intimidated by an attractive girl who only engaged with popular guys, Dillon learned that carrying oneself with confidence is a skill.

After finding a self-help article online, Dillon experimented with new social strategies, such as treating women as friends and embracing a carefree attitude. This shift in mindset resulted in genuinely attracting a girl at the party. The experience taught him that by changing his mindset, he didn't need to fear rejection.

His social breakthrough symbolizes a larger lesson: authenticity trumps façade, and confidence can be alluring in itself. Dillon reflects on his journey, using strategies from a Google article to challenge societal norms of attraction, ultimately advocating for energy as the cornerstone of being irresistibly attractive.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction and Personal Anecdote The introduction and personal anecdote chapter illustrates a personal experience at a party, where the narrator encounters a highly attractive girl who only engages with the most popular guy present. This observation leads to feelings of invisibility and reflects on social dynamics and perceived popularity.
• 00:30 - 01:30: Realization at the Party The narrator describes a feeling of invisibility at social events, particularly around attractive girls, a sentiment that stems from early school experiences. However, they view this particular party as an opportunity to change, trying to overcome their long-standing shyness and social hesitations. The contrast between their social ease with guys and their struggles to interact with attractive girls is highlighted, presenting a personal challenge they hope to address.
• 01:30 - 02:30: Research and Discovery of Attraction Tips In this chapter, the narrator shares their personal journey and revelations about attraction. Initially, they believed that trying to appear attractive meant focusing primarily on looks. However, after meeting a specific girl at a party, they realized that attraction encompassed more than just physical appearance. The narrator emphasizes that attractive people often use certain behaviors or possess qualities that naturally draw others to them. This chapter explores the deeper aspects of what truly attracts people to each other beyond superficial appearances.
• 02:30 - 03:30: Testing the Tips on an Average Girl In this chapter, the narrator recounts an evening where he and his friends encountered an attractive girl. They all silently acknowledged each other's attraction to her, but felt she was out of their league. However, the narrator learned that attractiveness is a skill that can be learned, as opposed to an innate trait. This realization came about when he observed his friends hesitantly avoiding interaction with the girl, prompting him to take action.
• 03:30 - 04:30: Peer Pressure and Confidence Boost This chapter explores the impact of peer pressure and the development of self-confidence in social situations. The narrative depicts a setting at a party where the protagonist chooses to adopt a different mindset compared to his peers, viewing attractiveness and social interactions as skills to be developed. This change in perception leads the protagonist to act differently from his friends, who are simply pacing around or engaging in superficial activities on their phones. Instead, the protagonist actively engages in self-improvement by seeking knowledge and skills that support building confidence and attractiveness, emphasizing the importance of personal growth over succumbing to peer pressure.
• 04:30 - 06:30: Talking to the Most Attractive Girl The chapter titled 'Talking to the Most Attractive Girl' discusses the author's journey of overcoming nervousness around attractive girls. The narrator shares how they watched YouTube videos and read various materials to understand their anxiety better. They came across an article online that contained bullet points on what to say and do, along with explanations of their effectiveness. While initially skeptical, the explanations provided deeper insights into communication and social interaction strategies, offering practical advice on approaching conversations with confidence.
• 06:30 - 09:00: Energy and Genuine Attraction The speaker starts to have an epiphany about something they had never considered before. They describe a situation where they were approached by a girl whom they found to be less attractive compared to another. The speaker's reaction to being approached was to turn off their phone and remain silent out of nervousness, illustrating a palpable sense of anxiety in social interactions.
• 09:00 - 11:30: Failed Date and Realization The narrator recounts an experience with a girl who was seemingly trying to flirt. She wasn't the typical girl that everyone desired, but rather someone who happened to be present. The narrator felt unsure and passive during the interaction, pondering whether to use a Google template to engage with her.
• 11:30 - 12:30: Conclusion and Self-Promotion The chapter discusses an encounter where a girl approached the narrator and seemed to develop a considerable interest in him. Despite being slightly tipsy, the girl seemed excited and eventually asked for the narrator's contact information. The chapter captures the initial meeting and interaction, eventually wrapping up with the narrator reflecting on the encounter and the feelings involved.

How To Attract Anyone As An Average Guy, INSTANTLY Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 A while ago, I was at this party and there was this girl who was a literal 10 out of 10. Like, every single guy there knew she was the most attractive girl at this party. And there was no question about it. The thing is, this girl basically treated everyone bad except for the quote unquote popular guy. I guess you could say that. The guy who was the most well-known at this party is the only guy that she would laugh at, smile at, talk to, anything like that. And it kind of left me and some of my other friends kind of standing there feeling invisible. It wasn't so much the feeling of being ugly or the feeling of
• 00:30 - 01:00 being lesser, but the feeling of just being completely invisible to the point where it felt like you weren't even there. And that's kind of how I felt at any event that was like this. But this one was different because I saw it as a night that I could actually try to make a change. Going back from my early school days and my entire life, I was never the type to be outgoing when it came to girls. I was outgoing when it came to guys. If I saw people, I would always go up to them, dap them up, say what's up, start conversations. But as soon as it came to girls, and not just any girls, but like attractive girls, it's where everything kind of changed.
• 01:00 - 01:30 It wasn't easy anymore. Nothing felt natural. It was such a big problem. But eventually, by meeting this girl, I was able to learn that when it comes to being attractive, doing certain things will get people to chase you. Attractive girls, guys who have high status, who have a lot of money, who do whatever, doing these things, I thought all of it came down to looks. Until this night when I realized it was so much more than just that, even though looks are obviously important. So, when I arrived to the party, the girl, like I was saying, and me and all of my friends instantly pointed her out. Every guy knows the experience of when you see a
• 01:30 - 02:00 girl like this, you kind of like give each other that look and like the nod of approval. And that's kind of what this was. But when we looked at each other, there was this subconscious feeling of like, yeah, none of us could get her, which is why it's funny cuz like, yeah, she's really attractive. But that night, I did something that made me realize being attractive is more of a skill than it is anything else. It's something that you can literally learn. And the only reason I found this out is because when I got there, all of my friends who were scared to talk to her were kind of sitting there passively not doing
• 02:00 - 02:30 anything, pacing around, just pretty much like literally like you know the joke about scrolling through the weather app. It was like that. That's pretty much what they were doing. But me on the other hand, I thought of it differently. I kind of looked at being attractive or talking to girls like this or doing anything of the sort was a skill and that mindset pretty much changed everything. So, when we were at the party and all my friends were pacing around and this girl was only talking to the guys who were the most attractive, who seemed to have the most money, who had I was in the corner, but instead of being on the weather app, stop the cap. I was on my phone looking up like
• 02:30 - 03:00 YouTube videos and stuff, basically trying to inform myself on like why I was so nervous and why I felt like I couldn't talk to these girls until eventually I stumbled upon this one article on Google that basically listed bullet points. Like literally, when you look it up, it was like one of those things. It almost looked like AI or something. I don't even know. But when I went on it, it was like a list of bullet points of like things you should do, things you should say, everything like this. And I didn't really take it much to heart. But when I went to click on these bullet points, they actually had a description on why it works, when to use it, and how it works. It was very
• 03:00 - 03:30 descriptive. So, I started looking into this and everything started kind of clicking in my head. I was like, "Wait, I've never thought of this. I never knew this was a thing." So, after doing this for about 30 minutes, this other girl who was definitely not as attractive as her, but she was like, I would say actually a little bit below average, maybe average. And that's not me hating on her. I'm just saying for the sake of the story what she looked like. But she came up to me and asked what I was doing. Nervously, I literally turned my phone off and I didn't even have an excuse. I kind of just went silent. I was like like, you know, when like guys literally gulp? I literally felt like I
• 03:30 - 04:00 was going to gulp because I just like didn't know what to say. But I think this was actually the girl trying to essentially rez me up. I don't even know what you want to call it, but it was different because she wasn't the girl that every guy wanted. She was just a girl that happened to be there. So, she starts asking me questions, talking to me, essentially flirting with me, but I didn't really go with any of it. I kind of just like was sitting there. But when she was talking to me, I thought, wouldn't it be a good idea to use the stuff from this Google template to basically see if it worked on her? Now,
• 04:00 - 04:30 I know it sounds completely random and it sounds like it wouldn't work. And over time, it seemed like this girl started to fall for me. Now, this is a different scenario because she came up to me first. So, I don't even know if you can count that, but it just seemed like this girl started to become obsessed with me. Eventually, I ended the conversation. She asked for my snap and then she ends up going like with her other girlfriends. She looked all like I guess kind of excited because I don't know, maybe she was drinking or something. I wasn't drinking cuz I don't know, I just like didn't plan on doing that. But, she definitely seemed to be slightly tipsy. Not like drunk or anything. But when she got back to her
• 04:30 - 05:00 friends, I noticed she seemed really excited and I was like very interested about this. A part of me was thinking maybe this gave me a confidence that I didn't have before. Not because of the things I read on this Google template. And to be honest with you, I basically forgot most of those things. But the thing that I noticed the most with this girl is that it was the energy that made the change. When she was talking to me, I truly did not care because I didn't find this girl that attractive. And I also I don't know, her personality was slightly on the more like annoying side,
• 05:00 - 05:30 which once again, it sounds like I'm hating on this girl. I'm really not trying to. She actually ended up being really cool and we became friends later, but that's besides the point. This girl, initially, I didn't really care for her. And because of that, it's almost like I didn't put her on a pedestal whatsoever. There was no point in time where I had a fear of losing this girl, a fear of walking away, a fear of her basically not even being interested in me. I had no concern about that whatsoever. And once that kind of clicked in my head, I was like, "Wait, when you don't care, it makes a huge change." So then this had me thinking and I I kind of went up to
• 05:30 - 06:00 one of my friends. They were joking about me saying, "Oh, you're talking to this girl, whatever." They were all kind of like pushing me around. You know how it is when you're talking to your guy friends. They were just kind of joking with me that I was talking to a girl. But then one of them made a joke basically daring me or basically saying like, "Hey, go up to this girl, aka the most attractive girl who was there, who all the good-looking guys were talking to, all the guys who had the status, whatever." And I told him, "No, no, I wasn't going to do it." And I kept saying no. Like, and but they were like forcing me essentially. There was no escaping at this point. There was nothing I could do. I knew as soon as my
• 06:00 - 06:30 friend and all of my friends asked me and after I talked to this one girl that I was going to have to talk to the other girl. I pretty much knew that. Like there was no question. There was no way of getting around it. They were going to force me to do it. So eventually I started to accept it. And then I basically remembered the tips that I was looking at. It's kind of like they popped back into my head. One of them was have good posture. The other one was not looks related, but it basically said the thing that I learned on accident, which is don't really care about the outcome. Kind of just do it and treat the girl like a friend. But most importantly, and the most important tip that I learned from this entire thing,
• 06:30 - 07:00 is that you basically have to treat it like a sales position, which sounds really weird and probably makes no sense, but if you look at it as if it's a deal, like a business deal, you always learn that the person who's willing to walk away wins the deal nine times out of 10. So, how is talking to somebody, whether it's a girl, an opportunity, or anything like this, any different? So, I started to do this mental exercise that it mentioned in this little guide thing that I read. By the way, looking back on this, I feel like I was such a loser at the time, but thinking about it, I was like, "Okay, it basically told me this
• 07:00 - 07:30 exercise, and you could try this if you wanted to, but this is what I did." You basically picture the girl that you're going to talk to as somebody that you would not care at all if you lost. So, you could do anything. And you basically just had to visualize it in your head whatever it was about the girl that would make you disinterested. For example, this girl has extremely bad breath. This girl is dating my best friend. Like just things where it's like you basically disqualify her as even a dating candidate or a girl you would ever talk to. So after doing this exercise in my head, I visualized and
• 07:30 - 08:00 this is the most horrific thing I could have ever come to. hope that the wrong people don't see this. But I pictured this girl as one of my dude best friends who was, let's just be nice here, he was on the less good-looking side of things. He was definitely like a little bit overweight, which is fine. Is what it is. I don't know. I'm not trying to hate on him. He's still my boy to this day. But I was like, "All right, I'm going to picture this girl as if I'm talking to him." And it sounds bad. I understand that. But as soon as I did that, I was like, "Okay, I'm ready." Now, mind you, this is a lot harder to go up to a girl
• 08:00 - 08:30 because she was with not only the most attractive guys, but also some of her more attractive friends. Now, mind you, this girl is the most attractive at the party, but her friends were still, you know, relatively attractive and popular, but that was besides the point. So, my goal was basically to go in there and start talking to her and basically treat it like something I could walk away from while there's popular guys and all this. So, it was like an impossible scenario. My friends were egging me on and literally pushing me at her and I saw her basically looking out the corner of her eye before I went up to her. She noticed that my friends were doing this.
• 08:30 - 09:00 Like I saw her notice. I'm pretty sure before I ever went up to her, she knew that I was going to. And the embarrassment, the redness on my face, everything was horrible because of what my friends did. If I was just going up to her on my own terms, it would have been nearly as bad. But the fact that they pushed me and I was stumbling towards her, she knew something was up and so did the guys. So what happened is I go up to her and the guy that was talking to her, I actually dapped him up and instantly did another one of the things that it said in the article which was like you want to ignore the person
• 09:00 - 09:30 of the highest power. So what that means is the attractive girl in this scenario was the highest power. I guess you could say the most desired thing. So what's something you could do to basically ignore that and make her feel like she isn't necessarily above you? And the qu the answer to that is basically going up to the person in the scenario who is less desired aka the guy in this picture. So that's why I went up to him, dapped him up, whatever. And instantly I felt an energy shift because any guy in this scenario would have gone up to her and just kind of like been nervous and
• 09:30 - 10:00 started talking to her. But no, for me I made actual decent friends with the guy and later on I ended up becoming like full-on like friends with this dude because of this. So it was like a win-win scenario. But I also kind of like messed up his opportunity with this girl that he was talking to. So after I became quote unquote friends with him, the guy was like laughing. I was making him laugh. But in this scenario, the girl kept trying to butt into the conversation me and the guy were having. And eventually I kind of framed it as if I was letting her bump into the conversation rather than me starting one with her. So instead of being the one to
• 10:00 - 10:30 start the conversation, she started it with me. The attractive girl, the most attractive girl at this party was chasing me. How does this make any sense? It doesn't make any sense, but it literally came down to these few simple things that I did and followed. So, after I'm talking to this guy and the girl keeps butting in, I played it very, very calm, which is something I would have never done before. In the past, and this is another thing that I learned, I thought that being very enthusiastic, laughing at her jokes, being all smiley, hyper, everything was good. No, in this scenario, it was the one time in my life
• 10:30 - 11:00 up until this point that I actually did the thing I was supposed to do. And once again, it was because I was looking at this Google thing. I felt like I was on a roll basically. But in literally in the list that I was looking at, it said something along the lines of like basically not only I think it was like a subconscious thing because I just actually didn't care cuz I kind of saw her like I said as my friend who wasn't that good-looking. So as she's talking to me on and on, I gave her no benefit of the doubt. I didn't treat her above me at all. I did nothing to make her feel above me. And over time, I noticed
• 11:00 - 11:30 her body language shifting from the attractive guy who was popular, who had rich parents and everything. There was no redeeming traits about me. yet she was looking at me instead of looking at this guy. But what's even more interesting is that even though the guy had all of these good traits about him, he made the mistakes that I was learning about at the time. He was being overly into her. He was basically laughing at everything she was saying. He was not being himself. He was being the version of himself that could quote unquote get this girl. But what most guys don't understand is that to attract anybody, not just a girl, but anyone, it's not even about being the person you think
• 11:30 - 12:00 you're supposed to be. It's about actually being yourself. So when this girl would say things to me, don't get me wrong, I was nervous even though I had done all these mental exercises, but when I disagreed with her, I would say I disagree with that, where I would like express it in some way. And even it got to a point where she would give me a compliment. And when she did, and this is the first thing that I changed the whole scenario because we were doing small talk the whole time, but when she gave me a compliment, it actually had to do with my hair. She was like, "I like your hair." which by the way at the time was one of my biggest insecurities and
• 12:00 - 12:30 one of the reasons I ended up later on making a hair brand that's now one of the best sellers on Amazon cuz I was that insecure. The only reason I say that is not to flex. It's to tell you I was that insecure about my hair. And she complimented that of all things. I was flustered. This made me for a split second forget everything that I had learned in the moment. I slipped back into the old me who would try to impress the girl the the person that I was trying to impress whatever. That's what happened in that moment. For the next like 3 minutes, everything went out the window. I started talking like I used to
• 12:30 - 13:00 talk. I started agreeing with everything she was saying. I was laughing, smiling. So, at this point, it became a literal monkey race between me and this attractive dude to get this girl because we both looked like idiots agreeing with everything she was saying, doing all the wrong things until eventually in the middle of her talking to the other guy, I basically had a moment of silence where I was able to regain my, I guess, consciousness and be like, "Wait, what am I doing? I'm selling the back. Like, I need to stop this right now. I need to go back to what I was doing because as I was making these mistakes more and more, I saw her body language shift back
• 13:00 - 13:30 towards that guy. So, I was like, "Okay, I need to make the change. I need to do this." I start acting calm again. Everything's going well. And over time, the guy eventually has to go to the bathroom. So, I was like, "Okay, this is my time to actually be one-on-one with this girl." I did all the things, acting like I didn't care, everything like that. And it was working. So much so, this girl started putting her hands on me. And when I say that, I'm saying like, you know, when a girl laughs and she kind of like touches you when she laughs. Instantly when that happens most of the time, you know you're in. That's pretty much what was happening to me. And I was like, "Oh my gosh, no way."
• 13:30 - 14:00 Mind you, we're at the party. This is I don't even know how much time has gone by. My mind is blank. It's kind of like one of those scenes in a movie where you go in the bathroom and like the music is like numbed in your brain. It's like kind of muffled and you can only hear the girl and her voice. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about, but that's the scenario I was in. Everything was outside of this girl was irrelevant. But I snapped to consciousness for a second. Look back at my friends. They're all basically watching me like it was a sport, watching me talk to this girl like it was like a game or something. But the difference is this time instead of having a joking attitude, the guys were looking at me almost in a sense of
• 14:00 - 14:30 proudness because they saw what I had done. So this girl is putting her hands all over me, everything like this. And I am basically like surprised. And the most interesting part of it all is as soon as I basically won her over, but this is not where it ends by the way. This is not at all. But I will say this was a progress point that I noticed. I won her over. And the things that I convinced myself of, like making her seem like she wasn't on a pedestal, not as attractive, whatever. I actually started to think that and it led me to this realization that I found out later on in life is that once you get
• 14:30 - 15:00 something, once you attract the girl, get the money, do whatever the thing is, you don't care as much. And now that this girl was showing genuine interest in me, I actually did not care. And this led up until eventually she was like kind of drinking a little bit too much. And I could kind of tell mind you, I wasn't drinking. She tries taking me into this room. I'll tell you right now, I have no idea what was going to happen in that room. But I was like, "No, this is wrong. I am not doing this." So, she literally is grabbing my wrist almost like you would see in a movie. Basically dragged me to this room. I was like, "No, I I'm not going to like do anything
• 15:00 - 15:30 with you. Like, I need to leave." So, I gave her my phone. She put in her Snapchat and then me and my friends actually at that time were also going to have to leave. So, I go get out of there. When I got home, she starts texting me all this and I was like, "Bro, did I make a mistake? Like, does this girl only show interest because she was drinking at the time? Mind you, I don't know how much she drank. Maybe she wasn't that drunk. I have no idea. Whole point is she was texting me non-stop back and forth. We're going through the night a little bit. I was kind of like keeping it like low-key like I was planning to do. Up until the next morning, this is where there was a huge
• 15:30 - 16:00 shift. She started texting me, but the text did not change energy from the night before. She was just as interested as she was the first time, except now I knew for a fact she had no drinks. So, this girl actually liked me. I was at a point in this moment where I felt like I was in this weird dream of like I am literally an ugly quiet guy who has no game, no money, no redeemable traits, yet this girl wants me because of the things I did. And eventually, she texted me asking me to come over. Mind you, at this point, I had not done anything with
• 16:00 - 16:30 a girl. Nothing. Not even had my first kiss. None of that. But I eventually was like, "Okay, I guess I'll do it. I'll come over. See what happens." So, we make a whole plan to go on this date and then I go to her house, whatever, and I get to her house in my car and we decide that we're going to go on this date. So, we go to get like this frozen yogurt, whatever. I lose everything. Every single thing I remembered from that point on. I had never made it this far before. I forgot everything. So, when we're sitting there, it was one of the most awkward, least amount of talking, worst dates I think I've ever had in my
• 16:30 - 17:00 life. It's only gotten better since then, thankfully, but it was horrible. And the reason the date was so bad and the reason I actually didn't even end up going back to this girl's house. Who knows what would have happened if I did. I'm not the type of guy to like hook up with girls or anything, but this girl was a 10 out of 10. I hate to break it to you. I don't know what would have happened if she came on to me like crazy. I don't know. But I I did everything so wrong in that moment. Basically just agreed to call it off. My confidence, everything. But what it made me realize more than most anything else, getting attractive people to chase you, getting guys with money to try to be
• 17:00 - 17:30 friends with you, anything like this, looks are important. Doing other things are important, but what's most important is literally your energy. Your energy, and I'm not saying some spiritual thing. I'm saying your energy in the sense of the energy of being able to walk away from the deal. So, if you take anything away from this, your chances of attracting anyone, and when I say guys, I'm not saying guys as in like a boyfriend. I mean, maybe there's girls watching this. I don't know. I'm saying guys in the sense of friendships, relationships, business relationships, and then girls when it comes to those relationships or even friendships. It
• 17:30 - 18:00 doesn't matter. It's all energy. It is mostly all energy. Now, mind you, energy comes with looks, energy comes with the amount of money you make. Energy comes with all of this. It gets easier when you improve these other stats. But at the end of the day, when it really comes down to it, it is your energy. And even if you have nothing, like I did, you can shift your energy to basically become the person who is attractive. But as I said, when it comes to looking better, glowing up, doing all of these things, it is very hard and it is very, very, very important to look your best and do your best things, which is why I sell products like Simpletics. You can get it
• 18:00 - 18:30 link in the description. It's on my Amazon. Or you can go and join my free email list where I give weekly tips, anything like that. That'll also be in the bio. It's called the upgrade email list newsletter. Join that. And I hope this helped because it genuinely changed my