how to know exactly what you want

Estimated read time: 1:20

Summary

In a thought-provoking discussion, the concept of desire is unpacked to uncover how it shapes human happiness and decision-making. Through intriguing principles and philosophical insights, viewers are guided to understand their desires and learn how to navigate them effectively. The speaker emphasizes the importance of identifying and focusing on just one desire to cultivate while acknowledging gratitude and fear as indicators of what one truly wants. Furthermore, the neuroscience of craving versus liking is explored to help differentiate genuine desires from fleeting wants.

Highlights

Explore the intricate relationship between desire and happiness. 😊
Learn why mastering your desires is crucial for personal growth. 🎯
Understand the role of gratitude in highlighting desires. 💡
Dive into the neuroscience of craving versus liking. 🧠
Discover the concept of aligning desires with personal energy. 🔮
Gain insights on how fear can direct you towards true passions. ⛷
Find inspiration to embrace a fulfilling life amidst unfulfilled desires. 🌺

Key Takeaways

Desire is a contract to be unhappy until you achieve what you want. 🌟
You can't completely eliminate desire; it’s more about managing it. 🚀
Cultivate one significant desire and learn to let go of the rest. 🧘‍♂️
Lack of gratitude often signifies an underlying desire. 🙏
Failure in pursuing desires is a natural part of the journey. 🌈
Sometimes, what you want might not be what you actually like. 🤔
Face your fears; they may reveal what you truly want. 🧗‍♀️

Overview

Desire is a tricky emotion to handle, often leaving us feeling unsatisfied even after achieving what we think we want. This engaging video by Newel of Knowledge dives into the psychology and philosophy of desire, exploring fundamental principles that allow us to manage and harness this powerful drive. By examining what causes desires and how to navigate them, viewers are encouraged to prioritize their true wants.

The speaker presents novel ideas such as the contract of unhappiness with desire and using gratitude as a guide to uncovering our true desires. They skillfully intertwine personal anecdotes with wisdom from renowned philosophers and neuroscientists to shed light on how our brain processes cravings and rewards. Whether it's identifying desires through ungratitude or facing fears, the insights offered are both profound and practical.

As the video approaches its conclusion, it leaves listeners with an optimistic perspective on life's potential richness, irrespective of whether all desires are fulfilled. Newel of Knowledge combines humor and depth to offer a comprehensive guide on finding fulfillment, advocating for a life that embraces both achievement and ongoing desires with grace and understanding.

Chapters

00:00 - 01:00: Introduction to Desire The chapter titled 'Introduction to Desire' explores the common human experience of not knowing exactly what we want. It highlights the frequent realization that what we thought we wanted isn't actually what we desire once we achieve it. The intention of this chapter is to guide the audience towards a deeper understanding of their desires, aiming to bring them closer to identifying what they truly want in life.
01:00 - 02:30: Understanding Desire and Attention This chapter, titled 'Understanding Desire and Attention,' focuses on the nuances of desire according to modern principles. The speaker aims to instruct the audience on mastering their desires and navigating them with expertise. The discussion is grounded in the philosophical insights of Naval Ravikant, a well-known philosopher and investor, who provides a foundational definition of desire. The implication is that after understanding these principles, one will be adept at managing personal desires effectively, much like a seasoned surfer rides the waves. The chapter begins with setting clear expectations for the audience, promising a deep dive into the nature of desire and how to handle it skillfully.
04:00 - 06:00: Gratitude and Desire Gratitude and Desire explores the human tendency to link happiness with the fulfillment of desires. The chapter suggests that people often make internal agreements to be unhappy until their desires are met, leading to the postponement of happiness into an uncertain future. It emphasizes that this approach creates a fantasy where happiness is conditional on obtaining particular things. The key argument of the chapter is that desire is an intrinsic part of human nature that cannot be entirely eliminated, due to the way the brain functions.
06:00 - 08:30: The Cycle of Desire and Risk The chapter titled 'The Cycle of Desire and Risk' explores the inherent human condition of desiring. The discussion suggests that it is impossible to entirely eliminate desire, as it's intrinsically linked to how the human brain operates. The text humorously notes that if someone discovered the secret to eliminating desire, they would become extraordinarily wealthy. Instead of attempting to remove desire, the focus is on acknowledging its existence and learning to control where one chooses to direct their attention and desires.
08:30 - 13:00: Fear and Desire The chapter 'Fear and Desire' discusses the concept of focusing attention on a single desire, acknowledging that it will likely lead to temporary unhappiness until fulfilled, at which point new desires may arise. The cycle of desire is explored, with a mention of the spiritual perspective that suggests eliminating desires altogether to avoid unhappiness.
13:00 - 19:00: Neuroscientific Insights on Desire The chapter delves into the paradoxical nature of desire, particularly the inherent contradiction in desiring to rid oneself of all desires. It acknowledges the cyclical, often self-defeating struggle to eliminate desires, likening it to a never-ending hamster wheel. The chapter emphasizes the importance of cultivating a single, meaningful desire while discarding all others. It encourages readers to identify this one primary desire as a means of simplifying their approach to life and avoiding the cycle of wanting to not want.
19:00 - 30:00: Final Thoughts on Desire and Fulfillment In 'Final Thoughts on Desire and Fulfillment,' the chapter explores the philosophical insights of Alan Watts regarding understanding one's desires in life. The principle highlighted is that one may not know what they want because they might already possess it. The discussion revolves around this idea, encouraging a deeper reflection on personal desires and fulfillment.

how to know exactly what you want Transcription

00:00 - 00:30 Rare is the human being who knows exactly what they want. If you need further confirmation of that thought, then just think back to the last time you got something you wanted, only to realize, oh, that wasn't actually what I wanted in the first place. Join the club. Happens to me about once a week. So, within this short video, I only have one intention. By the end of this video, I hope to have moved you slightly closer to a better understanding of what it is you actually want in life. And we're going to do so by covering a few killer
00:30 - 01:00 principles that once you understand them, you'll also be able to navigate desire and things you want like a master. You will surf the wave of desire like a pro after this video. So enough of the building up your expectations. Let's jump into it. First of all, let's cover what is desire. Well, desire, as Novel Ravikant, the notorious modernday philosopher, an angel investor said, "Desire is a
01:00 - 01:30 contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want." Essentially, when you want something, you're admitting in the present moment, you lack this thing. So, you're going to postpone your happiness into the future in your imagination and create a fantasy that you'll only be happy when you get this thing. But the key assumption we're going to take throughout this video is you cannot ever get rid of desire. It's just not how your brain works and
01:30 - 02:00 it's just not how we function as humans. If we knew, if someone probably on a beach somewhere with long dreadlocks, otherwise known as a hippie, if someone in the world knew how we could fully get rid of desire, then there'd be a billionaire. You cannot get rid of desire. It's just not how your brain works. So the assumption we're going to take is you cannot of course as we've mentioned control the fact that you desire things but you can control where you put your
02:00 - 02:30 attention in regards to the things you desire. In other words, you can choose to pick one desire and let go of all of the rest with the understanding that by cultivating this desire, it's going to be a source of unhappiness for you until you get it and then the cycle of desire will repeat itself. Speaking of the cycle of desire, a lot of people spiritually minded would argue that it would be good for you to completely get rid of desire.
02:30 - 03:00 But the tricky thing is with that is that desiring to get rid of desire is still a desire. So you hop on the familiar hamster wheel of life, which is trying to not want to not want to not want. And you just go around on that circle until you throw up. So cultivate one desire, get rid of all of the rest is the main point we're going to take in this video. But first of all, you have to figure out, well, next of all, cuz we've already mentioned something first. Next, you have to figure out what it is that you desire. What is that one thing?
03:00 - 03:30 Well, let's continue into the principles. First principle to help you understand what it is you want in life is we're going to start strong. This is from Alan Watts, the British philosopher who I hold very dear to my heart and has helped me more than once in life. RIP. Alan Watts proposed that there are two reasons as to why you don't know what you want. Number one is you already have it.
03:30 - 04:00 Right, I'll stop pausing now. And number two, you don't know yourself. But in his lecture in which he delivered that message, he didn't go he didn't elaborate too much further in terms of how to go about knowing yourself. And to be honest, in my opinion, giving someone the instructions of just know yourself is as about as useful as a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with one ear. So these further principles are now going to help you with that understanding of yourself
04:00 - 04:30 if you don't already have what you want. Number two, the second principle to better understand yourself, understand this. Where you lack gratitude, you likely have a desire. This highlights that search analyzing your life for those areas that you're complaining about or you feel a lack of gratitude towards, you likely feel ungrateful because you have a desire
04:30 - 05:00 underneath this thing. To give you a quick example of this, let's say that in your social opportunities right now in your life, you feel a bit neglectful towards them. You know, you have a lot of social opportunities, you have a group of friends, and you get along well with them, but for some reason, you can't help but just feel ungrateful towards them. You don't necessarily express your appreciation for your friends, and you're just like, "H yeah, okay, cool. I got a good group
05:00 - 05:30 of friends." Analyzing that lack of gratitude and applying the principle of there's a desire causing a lack of gratitude, you might realize, well, okay, where why do I feel ungrateful towards my social opportunities? At a deeper level, you then realize, oh, well, they're not your people. They don't have your blood running through their veins. Potential desire is it's time to start a family and still expand your social opportunities, but from a different
05:30 - 06:00 angle. Analyze where you feel ungrateful, and you'll likely realize you have a desire, and that will highlight what you want. Remember, we're using the word want and desire interchangeably in this video. Another example of that. Well, let's take a very trivial example. Let's imagine that you feel incredibly ungrateful towards how your body looks. You don't necessarily have
06:00 - 06:30 dysmorphia, but you just wake up and you look at yourself in the mirror and you're thinking, "Oh my god, you know, I don't don't really feel proud of my body." Lack of gratitude. There's a desire. the desire you want to be in better shape. When you understand that principle, it becomes you allow yourself to look at your own gratitude through a much more compassionate lens and gift yourself a realization of what it is you want. Where you lack gratitude, you likely have a desire. The third
06:30 - 07:00 principle, cycle of desire. The third principle is this. Going after what you want is risky once you discover what you want. Going after what you want is risky because it involves the potential of failure, rejection, and disappointment if you strive to actualize that desire but then fail. That's a tough process to
07:00 - 07:30 swallow. So what that highlights is basically there's a cat roaming around the apartment. Well, not roaming around. Family lives here. It's the cat of the family, but she's pregnant. And a few nights she's been, you know, getting involved with the local lads, having a few bust ups. So, that was another bust up. Going after what you want is risky, which allows us to look at your desires and your
07:30 - 08:00 relationship with yourself again through another compassionate lens. Because if we understand that going after what you want is risky, you can then realize, well, then that's no wonder why it's so hard to figure out what you want. Because hiding your desires from yourself, as annoying as that is, the the trick that our brain plays on us, what do I want? Most of the time, I know it, but it's always hidden. The reason why your brain would do something like that is because it's a defense mechanism. It's protecting you from the
08:00 - 08:30 potential of failure and disappointment. Not to mention that when we negotiate with people in our lives, you know, people in your relationships, what why is it so hard to negotiate with people? Well, two reasons when we understand this principle. One, people rarely know what they want. And number two, when people do know what they want, they don't admit it to you for because they know when they admit what they
08:30 - 09:00 want. They know exactly when they're not getting it. And knowing when they're not getting what they want is painful. Hence, it's safer to hide what you want from yourself and other people because if you hide it, you don't admit what you want, meaning that you avoid the potential failure of not getting it. So that's another compassionate point of view. But linked to that, the fourth principle to make that last point practical, a second place for you to look to figure out what it is. Bottom
09:00 - 09:30 me, I had a mango before I recorded this video, so pardon me. Another place for you to look in your life to discover what you want is your fear. You've heard the cliches, I'm I'm sure, of where your fear is, that is your next task or the lessons you need are in the tasks you're avoiding. Potent principles, but they've become so cliche that we neglect their meaning. So, let's come
09:30 - 10:00 at it from a different angle. this principle. The more you paint a bad picture of something in anticipation of potentially not getting it, the more you want that thing. Unpacking this slightly, what we mean by painting a bad picture of something is your anxious preoccupations with how it might turn out or even trying to negotiate yourself into a denial of you wanting this thing. Oh, do you know what? I didn't actually want
10:00 - 10:30 that thing anyway. Oh, do you know what? I could go for this thing, but you know, I'm not that bothered anymore. The more you paint an or the third voice would be, oh my god, if I went for that thing, I don't know how I would manage or how it might work out. The more you paint a bad picture of something in your mind, the more you want it. The reason why analyzing your life and your fears will highlight your desires and the
10:30 - 11:00 things you want is because the more you fear something, the more important it is for you. I can tell you this from my personal experience. I have been thinking about this principle over the last week and I have realized that in each area of my life that I am avoiding deep down I really want that thing like really really want that thing and
11:00 - 11:30 it's it's a funny thing to realize when you consider how much we try to avoid when all you need to do is use that avoidance as the feedback of this thing that you want. I would really encourage you to apply that principle of anytime you're avoiding something, 90% of the time that's going to mean there is something
11:30 - 12:00 hiding there that you really, really want. And the more you're avoiding it, the more you want that thing. So the sooner that you face it, the sooner you're going to be able to get the thing that you want. The alternative to this, and this is going to it's going to get a bit serious. The mangoes kicking in. Hopefully they don't have hallucin hallucinogenic mangoes in Mexico. But anyway, the opposite of this is very scary. The later you face this thing that you're avoiding, the longer you're
12:00 - 12:30 going to live a life of miserable cowardice. Now, I'm not saying you're a miserable coward right now. All I'm warning you of is the more you avoid, the more you're going to act within the energy of being a miserable coward. How can I say that with certainty? Because I've been there. I have many times throughout my life avoided things that I really wanted to do. You know, years would go by and then I would finally do it. And not only would I realize, oh, that wasn't
12:30 - 13:00 actually that much of a bad thing to do, but then I then felt regretful all the time I had spent avoiding this thing after realizing that it was much easier to face than I thought. So the realization was, not only is this thing now even more important to me because I've avoided it for longer, but I've wasted all this time avoiding it when really I could have just faced it and when the dragon was a lot smaller. The tasks, the lessons you need are in the tasks you're
13:00 - 13:30 avoiding. And when you're avoiding something, that means something is important to you. Two more principles before we end this video on a optimistic note. It's got a bit dark, isn't it? I hope that isn't. Is that all right? Nah, we'll stay with life. Why change? It's not broken. Don't fix it. The second to last point we're going to cover is a neuroscientific principle which is going to highlight the trickiness we can get ourselves into when differentiating between things that we want and things
13:30 - 14:00 that we like. I tell you what I'll do. Give me one second. I'm going to put a blinder up and that might allow a little bit more light into the room. Okay. Oh, my knee just went. Neuroscientific principle which is going to help us differentiate between things that you like and
14:00 - 14:30 want. In the 1970s, there was a neuroscientist called Kent Beridge, and he was doing some experiments, as most neuroscientists do, on rats. And what he discovered is that there's an area of the brain which lights up when we're craving something. It's called the nuclear circumbent. And what this area of the brain is responsible for is, like I said, craving. You've likely heard of the molecule dopamine before. And dopamine is what your brain releases in anticipation of a potential future
14:30 - 15:00 reward. Usually, it's confused as the the molecule of pleasure, mainly because the initial experiments that were done to discover dopamine in the 1950sish were done were performed with drugs on rats. So, people conflated the idea that drugs are pleasurable with this new molecule. So, it must be the molecule of pleasure. No, it's the molecule of anticipation of reward. So Kemp Barage discovered that when you give a rat
15:00 - 15:30 food, of course, the dopamine levels spike in its nuclear circumbent, this brain region that is responsible for releasing dopamine. But then he discovered something curious. He discovered when you deplete a rat of its dopamine stores completely. So it h it doesn't have that dopamineergic craving and motivation and energy to pursue future reward. So it's lethargic on the experiment table, but
15:30 - 16:00 you force feed the rat food. The rat will show facial gestures of enjoying that food. Similar to humans, like oh pleasure. they they kind of smile a little bit and just show pleasurable gestures. So what he discovered is that in the nuclear circumbent there are two I'm going to simplify the neuroscience a little bit but there are two areas of this important brain region. one that governs
16:00 - 16:30 the craving of future reward, but then another part that governs our enjoyment of rewards in the here and now. But here's the only catch. Oh, by the way, I didn't clarify. The reason why it's applicable to humans, this rat study, is because we show very similar gestures when we like something. And of course, brain regions are somewhat similar in the rats and humans. But the only catch with this brain region having
16:30 - 17:00 these two components is that the area of the nuclear cumbent that governs dopamineergic craving for more pop or geographically operates around 90% of the nuclear circumbent. But the area which governs liking of a reward in the here and now governs around 10% of this brain region. So what does that mean? This area of area of your brain is much more biased towards dopamineergic craving for more
17:00 - 17:30 chlorina. But peeling a principle from that neuroscientific insight, this highlights that you can, and I'm going to have to say this probably twice for it to sink in. You can want something you don't like and you can like something you don't want. What does that mean? To give you a
17:30 - 18:00 quick example, when I was young, about seven or 7 to 10 years old, I hated the anticipation of being invited to someone's birthday party. I hated it. I would always feel socially anxious. I would feel nervous and I never wanted to go. But on the car journey there to the party, while I would be nervously shaking in the car and my mom would be driving me, my mom being the good mom that she is, she would always give me a little social skills nurture and she would say, "Louis, I know you don't want
18:00 - 18:30 to go to this party right now, but when you go there, you're going to have a great time, and when you come back, you're going to be glad you went." every I without fail every single birthday party I went to as a kid I never wanted to go beforehand but when I was there I always liked it. What does that mean? I liked something I didn't want. So I want you to bear this in mind the next time you feel the craving to do
18:30 - 19:00 something because the opposite of liking something you don't want is wanting something you don't like. For example, how many times have you been scrolling on your phone, on YouTube or Tik Tok, whatever, and you've realized while you're scrolling, you're not actually having a good time, but you can't stop. Why? Because there's an imbalance between you craving something and actually enjoying it. So the main practical takeaway here is that next time you feel like you want to do
19:00 - 19:30 something, that doesn't always mean you're going to like that thing while it's happening. Taking that to its extreme, that's addiction, right? You feel the continuous imbalance between wanting this thing and liking it. Hence, one great way to overcome an addiction is mindfulness. It's again it's another cliche thing which we throw about so much in the selfdevelopment worlds that people have become deaf to the sound of the word mindfulness. When
19:30 - 20:00 you apply presence let's call it to your addiction while you're engaging in it. For example, you're smoking the cigarette and you apply yourself to really pay attention to the taste the the the el sabur the the the smell of the cigarette. What do most addicts realize? it's horrible. You can apply that to any addiction and realize you want to do this thing, but you don't actually like doing it. Once you realize that, your desire naturally decreases
20:00 - 20:30 for this thing. To finalize this point, the flip side of this, of course, liking something you don't want. Also remember that just because you don't want to do something doesn't mean you're not going to like it when you do it. Sometimes this happens with me with videos. If I'm if I don't want to record a video, I just put my clothes on the normal attire I have in the whiteboard
20:30 - 21:00 videos and I start talking in front of the camera. 2 5 minutes in, I begin enjoying the process and I think, "Oh, this is funny. 5 minutes ago, I really didn't want to do this, but now I'm doing it. I actually like it." I wanted to highlight that principle just to give you that further neuroscientific understanding of those moments where you don't want to do something or you do want to do something. Apply that principle. Remind yourself you can want something you don't like and like something you don't want. And you'll realize the desire
21:00 - 21:30 either decreases in the case of wanting something you don't like or it can increase in the case of remembering or reminding yourself that you can light something you don't want. That's one of my favorite principles. If you didn't understand that or I explained that clunkily, let me know in the comments and I'll go through it in more detail. Final principle before we end this on a short optimistic note as Kolina I'll
21:30 - 22:00 show you. Oh no, she's moving. She's sat down here on the floor. By the way, I'm in Merida and the walls are awesome. There's a specific way that they construct I was speaking to a man in the taxi the other day. There's a specific material they use to construct the walls. I've completely forgot the name in Spanish, but really awesome. And I think I've just messed up there. Okay, let's find a rice. Sip some
22:00 - 22:30 water. And there's iguanas everywhere. Crocodiles as well, but well, I mean, I haven't seen any, but I know they exist. I'm not going to practice my Spanish with them. Trust me. Final principle. Now, this principle is my favorite, and you'll have to bear with me because it does slightly contradict the last point we mentioned, but the fruit of life is found in the contradictions. In order to help you
22:30 - 23:00 navigate desire better, there is a deal, a contract you can sign with your unconscious, which I learned. Yeah, still battery. Still got battery. Which I learned from a Yungian psychotherapist who I've completely forgotten his name. There's a podcast called This Yian Life. It's awesome. Three Yian psychologists going at it, distilling archetypes, and I've listened to about 25 of their episodes, but there was one sentence that this Yian therapist said that has
23:00 - 23:30 always stuck with me. And I cannot tell you just how many times in my life it has got me out of sticky situations. And he said that he has struck this deal with his his unconscious whereby inactive imagination or just in general he will say to himself out loud he says to his unconscious unconscious I will do whatever you want me to but if you don't give me the energy
23:30 - 24:00 to do it I won't do The reason why that has been so helpful for me within the last 3 to four years of my life is because I've mainly applied it to relationships. Be it romantic relationships, friendships, relationships in general. But the main way I describe my attraction towards someone be it you know amad friendship or romantic interest is I feel
24:00 - 24:30 magnetically pulled towards them and I just want to be in their presence. I felt a warm breeze on my foot and I thought it was an iguana or something. I feel magnetically pulled to be in their presence but I cannot explain why. In fact, if I tried to explain why, it would probably taint the beauty of the attraction in a negative way because I would be trying to describe it in a way that isn't describable by words. That
24:30 - 25:00 feeling of attraction towards people comes from I get that energy from a place that I know not. If I may speak in old English, I don't know where that energy comes from. Understanding this principle though, I can understand that it comes from my my unconscious. It's operating at a level below conscious awareness. So if you're ever unsure as to whether you should want something or whether you do want something, starting a new project, working on something, taking a job, being or going on a date
25:00 - 25:30 with someone, spending more time with them, continuing a conversation with someone, you know, continuing to date someone. Always remember this. deal with your unconscious and remember that if this thing is right for you, you'll have the activation energy to do it. I believe this wholeheartedly. I believe the things in your life that are meant for you will bring you calmness and stillness, not chaos and confusion, and they will fuel you fuel
25:30 - 26:00 you with a sense of energy and vigor to pursue them more. But a calm still energy, not a frantic, oh my god, I need to do this and rush and do like a headless chicken. No, that energy from your unconscious will vibrate with a with a certain calmness. Don't know where that came from. That was not on the notes. I got a bit romantic there.
26:00 - 26:30 Now, the reason why that contradicts the previous principle of wanting versus liking is because of course there might be some things that you don't have the energy to do, but if you force yourself to do them, you will get the energy as you walk the path. The path illuminates as you walk it. But because I am so in favor of the final principle, this deal with your unconscious, I would say that more often than not, 90% of the time, if you don't have the energy to do
26:30 - 27:00 something or pursue something, take that as a sign from your unconscious that this thing isn't in alignment with you. And every now and then, when you feel that call to energy, that boom, let's go. Okay, I want to speak to this person. I feel motivated to do it. Boom. Make it happen. And understand that you pursue this thing because it's in alignment with you. That alignment continue chase that feeling into the
27:00 - 27:30 horizon. I really swear by that principle. I really swear by it. Of course, there's caveats to it and some people in the comments are going to say, "Oh, yeah, but what if you're depressed and you don't have energy to do anything?" I understand that. But pursue things that give you that energetic alignment. Finally, let's end this video on an optimistic note. Failing all of this, failing all of these principles
27:30 - 28:00 and let's say that you continue to or you never understand what it is you want in life. And worse yet, you're constantly on this habit wheel as we all are of desire, desire, desire, desire. Even after you understand just cultivate one, get rid of all of the others, you cultivate that one, achieve it, unh or unhappy, achieve it, happy, unhappy again, achieve it, happy. Even if you remain on that hamster wheel, hamster wheel, remember this, your life can
28:00 - 28:30 still be I messed it up. I messed it up. That was going to be the ultimate sign off. Your life can still be fulfilling even if none of your desires are ever truly
28:30 - 29:00 fulfilled. Yes. Note to self and to quote a patient of therapy from the brilliant psychotherapist Charlotte Fox Weber whose book I'm going to recommend you in a second to finalize this video. As her therapy patient said after unpacking her desires in the therapy room, "I've only just realized that my life is full of richness, even with the disappointments and without a climax in
29:00 - 29:30 every sense. And I find that quite marvelous. There's a cat on the floor and I'm fine with that. If you would like to go deeper into this topic of desires and figuring out what you want, then I would recommend Charlotte Fox Weber's book, Tell Me What You Want. It's her unpacking her realizations in the therapy room based on years of therapy,
29:30 - 30:00 but within the context of desires and figuring out what people want. I haven't read the book yet, but I'm going to read it. We can read it together and distill it one day. I invite you for a chili havano in Merida. The the hottest chile in the world exists here in Merida in the southeast of Mexico. And they speak Maya. They don't just speak Spanish, they speak Maya. I've been learning Maya bish that means how are you and uh
30:00 - 30:30 how to say yes and no is m yes is bale I would love to say stay disciplined dangerous and playful in Maya but I'll need to learn that remember you cannot ever fully get rid of desire but your life can still be fulfilling even if none of your desires are truly fulfilled As the cat walks out of the room, we are going to finalize this video. Hopefully, you now have a better
30:30 - 31:00 understanding of what it is you want. Stay disciplined, playful, and dangerous.