How to live your life

Estimated read time: 1:20

Summary

In this video by JulesVideoArchive, the creator explores the intricate journey of personal development, self-actualization, and aligning oneself spiritually, mentally, and physically. The speaker delves into understanding past experiences, personal motivations, and the importance of authenticity in one’s career and personal life. Through various anecdotes and reflections, viewers are encouraged to seek genuine happiness, adopt a utilitarian approach to their choices, and embrace their unique role within society. Engaging, introspective, and motivating, the video offers a fresh perspective on crafting a meaningful life.

Highlights

Aligning oneself spiritually, mentally, and physically is crucial. 🧘‍♀️
Understanding past experiences helps shape decisions today. 🔄
Authenticity is key in personal and professional life choices. 🌟
Engage in hobbies that come naturally to you—they reveal true passions. 🎸
Reflecting on life helps in making better future decisions. 🔮

Key Takeaways

Align yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically for a balanced life. 🧘‍♂️
Understand and learn from your past experiences to shape a better future. 🔍
Authenticity in career and personal life leads to true satisfaction. 💼
Embrace your natural talents and hobbies—they come effortlessly. 🎨
Continuous self-reflection and open communication enhance personal growth. 💭

Overview

The video kicks off by addressing the significance of aligning oneself spiritually, mentally, and physically to lead a fulfilling life. The creator shares personal anecdotes and reflections on how understanding one’s past experiences can be integral in shaping future decisions. This process, though challenging, is essential for personal growth and for reducing anxiety about choices.

Throughout the video, there's an emphasis on authenticity, especially in career choices and personal life. The creator stresses that forcing oneself into paths misaligned with personal passions often leads to dissatisfaction. Therefore, it is essential to recognize and embrace the natural talents and hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment effortlessly.

Motivated by utilitarian philosophy, the speaker encourages viewers to consider the greater good in their actions. By aligning one's role within society and making decisions that benefit the majority, individuals can contribute positively to the whole. The video closes on this inspiring note, reminding viewers that their journey towards self-actualization requires introspection and genuine contribution.

Chapters

00:00 - 00:30: Aligning Yourself Spiritually, Mentally, and Physically This chapter focuses on the importance of aligning oneself spiritually, mentally, and physically as a foundational step in personal development. It outlines that after achieving this personal alignment, the next step involves aligning oneself with a suitable job or career. The discussion promises to delve deeper into how to achieve this alignment and its significance in enhancing one's life overall. The narrator acknowledges the complexity of the topic and suggests that it will be unpacked in several steps to provide a comprehensive understanding.
00:30 - 01:00: Understanding Past Experiences This chapter delves into the significance of understanding one's past experiences to discern how they have influenced where you are today. The process of self-reflection can be challenging if undertaken alone, which is why some individuals opt for therapy to gain insights. Alternatives include leveraging friendships, practicing self-actualization, meditation, or spending quality time in solitude to gain a better understanding of one's experiences.
01:00 - 01:30: Physical Goals and Alignment The chapter discusses the impact of understanding one's decision-making process on reducing stress and anxiety related to choices. It emphasizes the importance of being physically in a state that one is proud of, suggesting that this is essential for aligning with one's goals.
02:00 - 02:30: Wasting Time on Wrong Paths The chapter titled 'Wasting Time on Wrong Paths' discusses the importance of understanding one's identity, particularly in terms of gender expression and personal goals. The speaker highlights the different self-perceptions and aspirations based on one's gender identity and orientation, such as the differences in physical build and demeanor between a butch lesbian and a straight man. The speaker emphasizes his desire as a straight man to be physically large and intimidating, to exude confidence and control, and also notes his enjoyment of physical confrontations like wrestling.
03:00 - 03:30: Self-Reflection and Self-Actualization The chapter discusses the importance of self-reflection and setting personal goals. The narrator emphasizes that their aim is not to be the best or an Olympic athlete, but to achieve personal satisfaction and success as an ordinary person. They reflect on past experiences where they attempted paths that weren't true to themselves, highlighting the significance of alignment between one's actions and their true persona. The narrator acknowledges wasted time and energy on pursuits that were not meant for them, indicating the learning process involved in personal growth.
04:00 - 04:30: Sexual Orientation and Self-Control The chapter discusses the theme of 'time as a valuable currency' in the context of self-improvement and personal growth. The speaker reflects on how they might have wasted time trying activities that didn't necessarily contribute to their personal development. They emphasize the significance of recognizing the importance of time and ensuring that it is spent on worthwhile activities that indeed further one's own life, rather than mimicking others' paths without critical assessment.
05:00 - 05:30: Past Experience Patterns The chapter 'Past Experience Patterns' reflects on the repetitive cycle of trying and failing in pursuit of goals that might not truly align with one's desires. The speaker discusses the realization that persevering for something uncertain leads to disappointment, especially when the result is not satisfactory. The insight reveals that the real disappointment stems more from wasted time rather than the unachieved event itself. This epiphany leads the speaker to reconsider what they are genuinely good at by examining their past employment and experiences.
08:00 - 08:30: Understanding Spirituality The chapter 'Understanding Spirituality' discusses the introspective journey of analyzing one's communication and thoughts to better understand oneself. The speaker reflects on their experiences with their YouTube channel as a means of self-discovery and admits the challenge in articulating this complex, personal process. While acknowledging the vagueness in their explanation, they stress that the journey to self-understanding is deeply personal and can't be universally defined.
10:00 - 10:30: Relationship Dynamics and Psychology The chapter 'Relationship Dynamics and Psychology' delves into the complexities of understanding and navigating interpersonal relationships. The discussion emphasizes the importance of self-actualization as a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships. Rather than attempting to emulate others, individuals are encouraged to foster personal growth and understanding. The use of vague and general terms suggests a focus on universal principles that apply broadly across different relationships. This approach underlines the importance of personal authenticity and self-improvement as guidelines for meaningful interactions.
11:00 - 12:00: Finding Your Skills and Hobbies This chapter discusses the concept of individuation and self-actualization, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's sexual orientation. It explains how awareness of your orientation can help clarify motivations both in the sexual marketplace and in real life. The chapter suggests an approach of adding together various aspects of one's identity and motivations to reach self-understanding, likening it to an additive formula of self-discovery.
12:00 - 13:00: Knowing If You're Doing Enough The chapter explores the complexities of understanding one's own behaviors and recognizing aspects of oneself that might be troublesome or socially unacceptable, such as unusual preferences. It emphasizes the importance of living with and controlling these elements rather than trying to eliminate them, noting that control is personal and varies from person to person.
14:00 - 14:30: Career Alignment and Natural Pursuits The chapter delves into the struggle individuals face when trying to align their careers with their natural inclinations or pursuits. It acknowledges the internal conflict many experience, describing a part of oneself that might be perceived as inherently negative or 'evil'. The discussion highlights the tendency of people to judge others without reflecting on their own flaws. Furthermore, it makes an interesting comparison between this personal struggle and aspects of sexual orientation, indicating the complexity and deeply personal nature of these issues.
20:00 - 21:00: The Importance of Art and Creativity In this chapter, the speaker emphasizes the significance of learning from past experiences and recognizing patterns within them. By examining recurring situations and reactions, individuals can gain insights into their behavior and improve their responses in future scenarios. An example is promised to highlight this concept.
22:00 - 23:00: Contributing to Society A personal anecdote is shared about the difficulty and eventual reconciliation in a family relationship, specifically the inability to hug one's mother for many years without understanding the reason. Upon reflection and working through underlying issues, a breakthrough is reached, allowing for a reconnection and the ability to embrace one’s mother again. This story exemplifies personal growth and contributes to a broader conversation about the significance of addressing and resolving personal and familial challenges.
25:00 - 25:30: Utilitarian Decision Making The chapter discusses the impact of setting aside time for thinking on personal realizations and decision-making, particularly in a utilitarian context. It emphasizes the notion that without dedicated time to reflect, one may carry unnecessary burdens and waste time. However, once time is allocated for introspection, deeper understandings can emerge, leading to significant personal changes and improved decision-making.
27:00 - 27:30: Insights from the Bible The chapter 'Insights from the Bible' discusses the concept of personal demons and shadow parts within oneself. It suggests that these internal challenges or 'demons' are persistent and unavoidable. The advice given is to acknowledge and recognize these parts of yourself without engaging with them deeply. The analogy of knocking on their door and leaving a paper signifies acknowledging their presence but not delving into them, thereby maintaining awareness without being consumed by them. This approach encourages self-reflection and understanding one's deterministic position in life.

How to live your life Transcription

00:00 - 00:30 Okay. Uh, how hard is this going to be to explain? I feel like the video might just end up being kind of long. Couple steps. Um, you have to align yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically. And then you have to align yourself with a good job slashcareer. Uh, we'll get into that in a minute. And then what else? You have
00:30 - 01:00 to understand how deterministically you've ended up where you currently are. So you have to look at your past experiences and understand how they've shaped you. And this can be very difficult to do on your own, by the way. So it helps to, this is why some people go to therapy, but if you have like a lot of friends or if you're just very self-actualized, you can do this with um meditation or just in general time by yourself. If you spend enough time alone, um, then you'll figure out kind
01:00 - 01:30 of how everything has shaped your behavior, your decision- making, and things like that. These are going to be things that are important to know because once you understand why you make decisions, you don't have to choose anything again. It's actually really cool. And you and then like the stress and anxiety over choosing [ __ ] goes away. It's kind of cool. So, so first of all, physically, you have to be physically um a self that you are proud of. So, for women, this can be just small in
01:30 - 02:00 general as a feminine woman. So, first of all, you have to figure out what you are. You know, if you're butch lesbian, it's going to be a little bit different build than a guy like me. So me, I'm a straight man. So I want to be uh large in I want to be large. I want to be in charge and I want to be big enough to intimidate the average man. And I think I've said this in a video before and and like to, you know, wrestle with and
02:00 - 02:30 grapple with the average man and have a fair chance. Those are my goals and those are the things that I've achieved. I'm not an Olympic level athlete, but I don't necessarily need to be. That's not how my life has aligned. So, um, also speaking of alignment, you So, one thing I used to do was certainly like attempt a path that just wasn't mine. And it was a lot of wasted time and energy. Um, not even much money
02:30 - 03:00 was wasted. Maybe some, but primarily like a [ __ ] ton of time, which is unfortunate. Which is unfortunate because that's, you know, your biggest currency. Your most valuable currency is your time. So it's like if I'm wasting it doing something monot well not not necessarily monotonous just if I'm wasting it doing something unnecessary to further my life and I because I've seen it further somebody else's life and I'm like okay well maybe let me try this
03:00 - 03:30 out and see how it goes. And then I was stuck in this loop of like trying and failing and I was like okay well if I just persevere I'll get what I want. It's like okay well how the [ __ ] do I even know that's what I want? And so it turns out it really wasn't. Um because when it didn't work out, I wasn't I was too dis I was more disappointed in the lost time than the actual lost event. And so that's when I was like, "Okay, what am I good at?" And I looked at the previous jobs
03:30 - 04:00 I've had. I've looked at the way I communicate with people. I've looked at my own YouTube channel and have like analyzed my thoughts and things like that and figured out who I am and what I can be and it's very difficult for me to explain the specific process to do this for you. So that's why I'm kind of being very vague with my speech. I know that's kind of frustrating, but unfortunately that's the only way I can kind of convey this message um in a way that you can understand is is because like I can't specifically say what I did because then that sub people subconsciously be like
04:00 - 04:30 well there's no way I can do that because I'm not him. Um but I'm I'm just going to avoid doing that all together and we're going to speak in uh just very very bland vague terms here. So basically this is the formula. Let's call it a formula. Let's say on the right side of the um equal sign is let's say self-actualization.
04:30 - 05:00 Um this is going to be an additive formula. So it's just a bunch of plus signs. So we're reaching individuation and self-actual actualization here. actual can I say the word act self-actualization and on the left side okay let's see what we have first of all your sexual orientation is actually important to understand because then you can understand your motivations for things in the sexual marketplace um and in real life and things like that
05:00 - 05:30 and you can understand your behaviors etc. So I say this to say, you know, if if you have some if you have something wrong with you, like if you like children or if you like older men or something like that, you have to not necessarily um get rid of that part of yourself because sometimes it's not really possible, but you have to be able to live with that part of yourself and have it under control. Getting under under control, again, one of those things I can't explain to you. It's a case- by case basis, but once you do
05:30 - 06:00 that, holy [ __ ] you it it's so much peace. It's very difficult. Um, and yeah, everybody struggles with that thing. They have this part of themselves that is like inherently evil. And uh, this is really interesting. People judge other people's parts without considering their own. Isn't that [ __ ] something? Anyways, those are two those are literally like your sexual orientation
06:00 - 06:30 and then okay, what else? Um, past experience patterns, pattern recognition in your past experiences. So, you have to go through your past experiences and say, what was congruent with all of these? Did I freak out? Um, did I act a certain way? Did I avoid doing a certain thing? This and this and this and this. I'll give you an example. This one I can give an example on. Um, so like I couldn't I couldn't
06:30 - 07:00 hug my mom for like probably 10 years. Uh, man, it was longer than that. I think it was probably like 12 or 13 years. I know it was like since before high school, maybe middle school. I like couldn't hug her. And I didn't know why. And it was it was really frustrating, you know, cuz it's like it's my mom. Why can't why the [ __ ] can't I hug my own mom? Turns out I had something um that I had to think through in our relationship. And once I did that, I I was like I was like, "Oh my
07:00 - 07:30 god, like I've been wasting all this time with this burden that is not necessary." But the reason I was wasting so much time with this burden on my shoulders is because I didn't set aside actual time for myself to like think. So when you have the time to think, you can go back further. you just go back further naturally and then and then you go, "Oh shit." You know, you come to a couple realizations and then things change. So, we have, you know, m figure out your
07:30 - 08:00 sexual orientation and um the shadow parts of yourself as well. We'll throw that in there. So, um what whatever uh demons you have inside of you, you those aren't going anywhere. Um bad news. So, how about look for them, recognize them, knock on their door, say what's up, leave a paper. Don't go in their house. Okay. Uh, and then yeah, go through figure out where you are deterministically and
08:00 - 08:30 why. What else did I do? So, spiritually, I'll say this. This is what I'll say for spiritually is all I can tell you. Make sure you fully understand something to the point where you can't understand any more of it before you discount it as a possibility. That's all I can kind of tell you to develop your spirit. Um and
08:30 - 09:00 that that goes with anything as well. But um the thing about spirituality is there's so many different directions that you can go and so it can get kind of daunting and it's and the question is like what does it mean to even find my spirit and all that gay [ __ ] like the spirit [ __ ] cringe, right? I'm not a [ __ ] Why do I need to look at myself internally and figure out my spirituality and [ __ ] like that? Right? That's the question. Um the answer is because it's actually necessary. is it's not only necessary, it's
09:00 - 09:30 imperative and unavoidable because if you don't, it'll plague your mind. So, uh I think well, I don't know, but I I was going to say a lot of people's minds are plagued, but I don't know if that's true. But I think there exists people for sure, we can say this is true. There exist people for sure who have easily fixable
09:30 - 10:00 problems and they just need to how do I say this? It's true. There's there's problems that are very easily fixable by researching how humanity works and coexists with nature, how nature works and coexists with us, our relationship therein, and how humans all interact with each other
10:00 - 10:30 psychologically, socially, sexually. It really helps to understand these things, especially the dynamics between men and women. Um, if you're having trouble with like relationships and things like that, I think one of the best things you could do is research the psychology of whatever whatever side you're having trouble Jesus whatever what sorry whichever side you're having trouble understanding. Um, there's literature on
10:30 - 11:00 [ __ ] like this. So, you know, if you're having trouble understanding why your boss is a piece of [ __ ] um, you're probably going to have to look into that the same way you looked into learning how to do some other niche skill that you have right now. And by the way, okay, let's do this skills and hobbies. So, the skills and hobbies that you have and are good at probably I think the best skill, this is true. The best skills and most
11:00 - 11:30 most most well-fitting hobbies for you in general are those that just happen accidentally and you just and somebody asks you and you go, "Well, I this this and it just kind of fell into place." And you know, I think um the cheapest ones are kind of the ones where you say, "I'm going to get into this." Nobody ever gets into the thing they say they're getting into. You just kind of get in. You just it just happens. Um, and so this is what I think is true as
11:30 - 12:00 well is like that'll happen and then maybe people will think this isn't the right thing for me. It's like why not? This is your thing. Just do it. It's clearly the thing that comes naturally to you. So why would you not pursue it and engage in it on a regular basis? Does it make you happy? Does it make you smile? Okay, do that. Just don't let it impede your life your life negatively. And that's kind of the wrestling match, right? And so this is something that was important for me. This is this is a good video.
12:00 - 12:30 This is something that was important for me is how do you know if you're doing enough? That's a really hard question to answer. The answer is if is the answer is if you find yourself wrestling with if you're doing enough or not, then you are doing enough because you give a [ __ ] That's the answer. So, you definitely are. If you're asking the question, "Am I doing enough?" You
12:30 - 13:00 are. If you're not, you definitely [ __ ] are. It's like, if you wake up and you're like, "Oh, did I do enough for this? Does this I I don't have enough time. Is this okay? Is this the best?" You ever get somebody, you make somebody something? You ever made somebody something and you go, "Man, I [ __ ] hope they like this. I hope this is enough. I hope it's [ __ ] good." It it is because you give a [ __ ] It's the same thing with your spirit wrestling with itself. It's like, am I doing enough here? Is this enough? Is she enough? Is that enough? Is this enough? H primarily,
13:00 - 13:30 we'll say, we'll talk about just internally for you. So, um, scratch the other [ __ ] actually. Yeah. Just internally, yes. It's like if you're wrestling, that's the best you can do. I think you can't win the wrestling match. Um, I think the wrestling match with your own psyche is is one that you will never win. It's an infinite one. And that's probably something that once you come to terms with that, you'll get a lot more peace as well. It's like it's kind of how it's always going to be. I don't think that'll change,
13:30 - 14:00 truth, truth be told. So, what else? Um, yeah. And same thing with your career anyways. Um, it's like just do what comes naturally. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know, man. I think forcing your way through medical school or forcing your way through law school or forcing your way into a a c a branch of the military or something like that for
14:00 - 14:30 like forcing yourself I think if it doesn't come naturally um it won't be prosperous for you. I really don't. Now, you might like the accolades that come with a high honor thing, but I don't think like the experience itself will um really resonate with you the way it could have if you had pursued something that you actually loved. Now, if you actually love those things, obviously that's different. But I'm saying like if you don't love them and you're doing them for the sorry if you don't love them and you're doing them
14:30 - 15:00 for the sake of doing them, I don't think that's virtuous. And I think that'll be a waste of your your I think it'll be a waste of your energy is what I think. Replenishable but very costly. It's still very costly. Um what else? One thing as well, this is very important for me. Getting your thoughts outside of
15:00 - 15:30 your head. You have to do this. So, you could either do this what I do. You'll hear me on I made mistakes in this video because I was actively thinking. Um, and that is very, very nice for me. And it is it's it feels like I've had IQ points go up in the last year making these [ __ ] videos. I'm so serious. It's like the individuation and um self-actualization
15:30 - 16:00 that I have performed, you can actually witness with footage and I feel it happening. It's [ __ ] so crazy. You can do this with journaling if you don't like making videos or posting online or whatever. Journal, I think, not writing notes to yourself. I think just getting your thoughts outside of your head so you could look and analyze them, things like that. Um, especially as a guy, I'll say, is this a is this a bold claim? I'll say
16:00 - 16:30 women talk and communicate their feelings more than men do to themselves. But men communicate just general [ __ ] thoughts to themselves, but not often their feelings, I think. Is that true? Maybe, maybe that's just how it is, though. I don't think that'll change. Who knows?
16:30 - 17:00 But I find myself very soft spoken in this video. I think it's because I ced a new CBD pin today, which I really do like. It's nice in the middle. Um, so I journal as well, I guess. I guess I do. Like that's just something I fell into. Like the things that are meant for you are are not going to cost extraneous effort. It's like it may there obviously will be obstacles and walls to everything that's worth
17:00 - 17:30 anything because the dragon always hides the treasure. However, like if you're always, you know, seeing dragons, it's like what are we doing? you know, the tra like the the fight. Here's what I'll say. The fight with a dragon should be one that you're prepared for. You've trained for it. If you're fighting a dragon that's like going to [ __ ] destroy you, I mean, yeah, you
17:30 - 18:00 could get a bigger sword, but you don't have to. Now, am I saying shy away from from challenging problems? No. I'm saying if you have to choose between something that's meant for you and something that you think is meant for you, that's a distinction that you really have to think about and be very careful with that choice. Very careful. That is a very careful choice to make. Like you like it's very sensitive
18:00 - 18:30 that it's it's hard to tell. So it takes a lot of time and effort and thinking but and and talking maybe I think talking your ideas out is very nice as well. I think the reasoning is because like once you get them out and you can read them, for me at least like I can analyze them better and I can go okay cool boom then it clears
18:30 - 19:00 my head up cuz there's some thoughts that I think I'm thinking throughout the day the day that are like halfway thought and then they're [ __ ] with the other the other ones. Okay. What else? I think Oh, you have to avoid allowing This is very difficult to
19:00 - 19:30 do for me. You have to avoid allowing people I'll say this as a man. So men I think have to you have to avoid allowing all people to make you happy, sad or angry. People can't do that. Things can do that. So let me let's say your girlfriend gets you, you know, something for your
19:30 - 20:00 birthday. I'd like you to appreciate like her effort as opposed to like the woman did it. So if the effort changes or something like that, then you could change your appreciation maybe. Is that toxic? I don't think so. But I mean, that's definitely something to think about. If the effort changes at any point, it's like, well, what's the problem? But if you're always, you know, letting the woman do whatever she's
20:00 - 20:30 doing, it's like that's not sustainable because you won't be able to sense changes and things like that. I'm serious. Uh, and I think that's true with most things. It's like you you can't give most people the privilege to pull your strings like that. They they shouldn't have control over you. You should. It's definitely true. Yeah.
20:30 - 21:00 Um, forgot where I saw that, but it was like just stop letting people have the privilege to having control over your emotions. They're yours. Like, they don't have to. You're letting it happen, you know? What else? What else? What else? What else? Oh, you have to create art as well. So, these for me are kind of like an art piece. Each one of these that is
21:00 - 21:30 that has like effort and good soul put into it, I think is like an art piece for me. And I also make music sometimes. So, I'll make music in my free time. And allowing yourself to be creative, not only is it good for just your cognition in general, it it it also like frees up space in your mind because you get to sit and just get in the zone. It's like when you get in the zone, you're creating something. carpenters, builders, plumbers, people make music,
21:30 - 22:00 people are in the gym, people running, whatever zone it is. It's like that's the place you should try and be a lot and also I think you have to fit into your role in society. Uh you have to figure out what that is and fit into it on
22:00 - 22:30 purpose because you have to contribute to the greater benefit of the whole. I think that's something as well. Keeping the whole some people call it God the whole whatever same thing but like the whole of all things should be your priority. So attaining the greatest This is my belief personally as a utilitarian attaining the greatest
22:30 - 23:00 um number of good or just greatest good for the greatest number of people and that's keeping the whole aligned with your actions. So every time you make a choice it's like will this benefit more people than less if I you know made the other choice I think is a good way to make choices. This is the way that's the way I make my choices. um makes it easier to make [ __ ] choices. Um yeah, it's brought me some peace and
23:00 - 23:30 [ __ ] I recently learned that the bi the B Damn, why the [ __ ] is my voice cracking so much? I recently learned that the um Bible is uh it's kind of like a compilation of information passed through time, which is pretty cool. So, I've been checking that out. But, uh 23 minutes, 23 and a half
23:30 - 24:00 minutes, we'll call it 20 24 minutes. Nice video. Cool. Uh, let me know what you