How women DISRESPECT men without realizing it: bursting the bubble

Summary

In the PsycHacks episode, Dr. Orion Terban delves into how women might inadvertently disrespect men in relationships by assuming unwarranted power. He highlights behaviors such as demanding explanations, teasing publicly, and using sarcasm as disrespectful acts that might sabotage relationships. These actions, though often unintentional, position women as authoritative figures, which can lead to conflict. Understanding these dynamics can help women make conscious choices that foster healthier interactions.

Highlights

• Inadvertent power dynamics can cause unintentional disrespect in relationships. 👩‍❤️‍👨
• Demanding explanations can position women as authoritative figures over men. 📚
• Public teasing suggests a lack of respect for the man's status. 🎭
• Sarcasm often harms more than it helps by passive-aggressively belittling others. 🤨
• Relationships thrive on mutual respect, which these behaviors can undermine. 💬

Key Takeaways

• Women may inadvertently disrespect men by assuming inappropriate power over them, leading to conflict. 💥
• Demanding explanations implies a power imbalance and can be perceived as disrespectful. ⚖️
• Teasing and sarcasm, particularly in public, can undermine a man's status and harm the relationship. 😳
• Behaviors that convey contempt, even indirectly, can poison relationships. 💔
• Recognizing these habits can empower women to build more respectful and lasting relationships. 🌟

Overview

In this enlightening episode, Dr. Orion Terban discusses the subtle ways women might disrespect male partners without realizing it. The focus is on unintentional behaviors that can destabilize relationships by positioning women authoritatively over men, creating unnecessary conflicts.

Dr. Terban elaborates on issues such as demanding unwarranted explanations, publicly teasing, and the use of sarcasm. These actions may place women in a perceived position of power, which can be threatening to relationship harmony. He advocates for awareness and intentional relationship dynamics to avoid these pitfalls.

By addressing these unconscious habits, women can foster more balanced and respectful relationships. Dr. Terban's candid insights empower listeners to evaluate their behaviors and choose interactions that lead to harmonious and enduring relationships.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction and Overview Dr. Orion Terban, in this episode of 'Psyx Better Living Through Psychology,' discusses the subtleties of how women may disrespect men without realizing it. This installment is the second part of a two-part series aimed at helping women understand potential barriers they might unintentionally create in their relationships with men. In the first episode, Dr. Terban explored three ways in which women might inadvertently assume inappropriate power over men.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Three Ways Women Disrespect Men The chapter "Three Ways Women Disrespect Men" discusses how certain behaviors by women are perceived as disrespectful by men. These behaviors include inappropriate questioning, granting permission, and infantilizing surveillance. The chapter explains that these actions place the woman in a position above the man, which often leads to conflict in the relationship. This is attributed to men's general unwillingness to let others exert unauthorized power over them, leading them to respond negatively to such dynamics.
• 01:30 - 02:00: Fourth Way: Demanding Explanations The chapter explores the theme of demanding explanations, emphasizing the role of individuals in maintaining freedom and safety by challenging those who usurp excessive power. It encourages men to confront bullies and tyrants, cautioning women against taking unwarranted power in relationships. The conversation shifts to how women may unconsciously disrespect men, implying a need for balance in power dynamics within personal relationships.
• 03:00 - 04:00: Role of Leaders and Followers In this chapter, the focus is on raising awareness among women about unintentional behaviors that may sabotage their relationships with men. It's emphasized that while women are not morally obligated to change these behaviors, doing so could significantly enhance their chances of achieving their relationship goals. A key point discussed is how women might disrespect men, and addressing this could potentially improve relational dynamics.
• 04:30 - 05:00: Support and Donations This chapter delves into the dynamics of power and authority reflected in the act of demanding explanations. It posits that the requirement to explain oneself typically originates from a position of power. The chapter highlights that those wielding authority feel entitled to ask for explanations and assume the role of evaluators who decide the merit and consequences of the response. The narrative underscores the imbalance inherent in these interactions, emphasizing that explanations are not a neutral exchange but rather a demonstration of power dynamics.
• 05:00 - 06:30: Fifth Way: Teasing and Humor The chapter discusses how women should interact with men without imposing themselves as higher authorities or disciplinarians.
• 09:00 - 10:00: Conclusion and Call to Action The chapter 'Conclusion and Call to Action' emphasizes the importance of understanding and complying with tasks and requests in a professional setting. It discusses the potential negative perception of constantly questioning or refusing tasks without justified reasons, highlighting how such behavior can be seen as difficult or insubordinate. The chapter implies the need for adaptability and cooperation in the workplace, especially from leaders, to promote a harmonious and efficient work environment.

How women DISRESPECT men without realizing it: bursting the bubble Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 I'm Dr Orion terban and this is psyx Better Living Through psychology and the topic of today's short talk is how women disrespect men without realizing it bursting the bubble so this is the second installment in a two-part episode for the ladies I'm here to help you understand how you might be getting in your own way with respect to your relationships with men in the first episode I briefly discussed three ways in which women inadvertently disrespect Men by assuming inappropriate power over
• 00:30 - 01:00 their lives and they do this among other ways through inappropriate questioning granting permission and infantilizing surveillance all of these behaviors position the woman above the man which will be perceived as disrespect and will typically instigate conflict in the relationship why because men For Better or For Worse typically don't simply allow other people to exercise unauthorized power over them they rise up
• 01:00 - 01:30 and it's their willingness and ability to do so that more or less keeps things free and safe ladies you probably wouldn't mind if your man rose up to challenge the bullies and tyrants who threaten your freedom and safety by usurping more power to themselves than is appropriate take care that you yourself do not assume more power than is warranted in your own relationships so let's now return to our discussion on how women disrespect men
• 01:30 - 02:00 without realizing it the idea here is to call women's attention to the ways in which they may be inadvertently sabotaging their relationships they want with the men they want to have them with as before I'm not saying that women have a moral or ethical responsibility to refrain from these behaviors I'm saying that refraining from these behaviors will significantly increase the likelihood that they will achieve their relationship goals so let's get to it the fourth way that women disrespect men
• 02:00 - 02:30 without realizing It Is by demanding explanations the request to explain yourself is always a prerogative of the more powerful of the less powerful it assumes not only that the more powerful party has a right to the requested explanation that it is the higher authority that must be answered to but that it is also empowered to judge the Merit of that explanation and to apply punishment as appropriate ladies you are
• 02:30 - 03:00 none of these things you are not a man's higher authority you are not his judge and you are not his disciplinarian so do not try to put yourself in these roles by the same token women are subject to disrespecting men when they demand explanations in the face of reasonable requests think about it if your boss were to give you an assignment
• 03:00 - 03:30 but you refused to comply with the request until he provided sufficient rationale for why this needs to be done and why this is in the best interest of the company and why you're the right person for the job and hey did you consider doing it this way instead I'd rather do it this way that is if you kept demanding explanations for why you should do what was requested of you then Not only would you be a very difficult person to work with but you would come off as insubordinate as well it is for leaders who are appro appropriately
• 03:30 - 04:00 authorized to give orders to do their part and it is for followers who are appropriately authorized to execute them to do their part when this happens there is order and Harmony when this doesn't happen there is disorder and chaos and this is the result when reasonable requests from appropriately authorized leaders are questioned ignored or selectively satisfied of course it is always possible and necessary for
• 04:00 - 04:30 followers to disregard or disobey requests from their leaders when these requests violate the orders of an even higher authority however these requests will likely be few and far between now before I go any further if you're liking what you're hearing please consider sending this episode to someone who might benefit from its message because it's Word of Mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow you can also go to my website and tip me in proportion to the value you feel you've derived from this
• 04:30 - 05:00 message using the venmo link provided I'm doing it this way because I receive 100% of your donations if we go through venmo uh I appreciate your support it keeps all of this running thank you very much and finally the fifth way that women disrespect men without realizing It Is by teasing teasing should be done very selectively if at all and it should never be done in front of of other
• 05:00 - 05:30 people this is because teasing implies that you are so comfortable in your position that you consider a man to be a play thing with which you can do what you will with complete impunity it communicates that you have nothing to fear from toying with a man's status because you consider yourself well beyond the reach of any possible consequences this is placing yourself above a man which will be perceived as
• 05:30 - 06:00 disrespect even more so if it's done publicly ladies you should even be cautious about certain forms of humor like sarcasm in my opinion sarcasm tends to do much more harm than good in a relationship this is because it is often used as a passive aggressive way to attack someone while retaining plausible deniability that that is not what you are doing in many cases it's not only hurtful it's
• 06:00 - 06:30 cowardly if you have a problem with your man find a way to bring it to his attention directly and respectfully don't hide behind a poorly veiled attempt at humor this is a form of contempt which is just poison for relationships remember you can say something once that another person might remember for the rest of his life so think things through before you open your mouth all right so those are five ways in which women are subject to
• 06:30 - 07:00 disrespecting men unintentionally all of which involve the inappropriate usurpation of power to some degree think about it not only would you not do these things to someone of higher status or authority you wouldn't even do them to a or an equal either ladies let's hope that you're not demanding your girlfriends explain themselves to you or interrogating your co-workers these behaviors only appear across powerful differentials and in most case
• 07:00 - 07:30 significant power differentials from high to low and just to respond to the inevitable criticism of these episodes I'm not arguing that men are inherently above you and have a right to do these things to you they don't these behaviors are disrespectful irrespective of whether a woman does them to a man or a man does them to a woman I don't do these things
• 07:30 - 08:00 to the women I've dated though I have encountered many women who for whatever reason believe it is their right or their privilege to do them to me they were not correct in this belief in my experience men who are generally much more comfortable navigating power differentials in hierarchical Arrangements typically already understand that these behaviors are disrespectful men understand that they can't disrespect others with impunity
• 08:00 - 08:30 and they learn this because there are no protections for men unfortunately many women who enjoy social and cultural protections that men do not apparently haven't learned some of these things yet maybe they didn't have a strong father figure in the home to teach them these things in any case I'm here to help fill the Gap ladies if you do any of these five things you are violating the unbreakable rule this puts your relationship on Shaky
• 08:30 - 09:00 Ground at best as a result you may need to choose between these behaviors and a peaceful and enduring relationship with a man unfortunately you won't be able to have both one of them has got to go which one is up to you now let's model the treatment we wish to receive by keeping those comments respectful what do you think does this fit with your own experience let me know in the comments below and if you've gotten this far you might as well
• 09:00 - 09:30 like this episode And subscribe to this channel you may also consider becoming a channel member with perks like the priority review of comments or booking a paid consultation as always thank you for listening