Multiple Personality Disorder - Documentary

Summary

This insightful documentary explores the complexities surrounding Multiple Personality Disorder, diving deep into personal stories of individuals living with this condition. Once thought to be caused by evil spirits, the perception of such behaviors has evolved significantly since the 1800s. Through intimate storytelling, the documentary reveals how early childhood trauma often triggers the fragmentation of identities. The narrative follows individuals like Gretchen, John, and Barb, who each grapple with different manifestations of this disorder while seeking therapy and understanding. Their emotional journeys highlight the challenges and progress in treatment, offering hope for healing and integration of fragmented selves.

Highlights

• The documentary showcases rare footage from a 1920s research film illustrating early understandings of the disorder. 🎥
• Gretchen’s journey reveals how everyday noises can trigger personality switches and panic attacks. 🎭
• John, a police officer, navigates his career with help from multiple personalities possessing unique skills. 🚔
• Gretchen communicates with her other personalities through journal entries, each with distinct handwriting. ✍️
• Barb's tale uncovers family secrets and her struggle with memories of severe childhood abuse. 🕵️‍♀️

Key Takeaways

• Multiple Personality Disorder is often a response to severe childhood trauma. 🌪️
• Therapy and supportive environments are crucial for managing and healing from the disorder. 🛋️
• Many with this disorder exhibit distinct personalities with unique capabilities and memories. 🌈
• Reunification of fragmented personalities can lead to personal healing and improved life quality. ❤️‍🩹
• Public awareness and understanding can help reduce stigma and encourage healing. 🌟

Overview

From haunting historical understandings to modern therapeutic approaches, the documentary charts a path through the tangled web of Multiple Personality Disorder. It offers a glimpse into past medical beliefs, illustrating how victims of trauma utilize this as a defense mechanism.

Real stories of individuals like John, a seasoned policeman balancing his career with the aid of his multiple personalities, shed light on the challenges and unexpected advantages brought by the condition. These real-life experiences are woven with therapeutic insights that focus on healing trauma and integrating fragmented identities.

The documentary concludes on a hopeful note, underscoring the importance of storytelling in healing and the potential of the human mind to recover from unimaginable trauma. The courage displayed by these individuals serves to educate and inspire, showcasing the resilience of the human spirit.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction to Multiple Personality Disorder In early history, it was believed that evil spirits possessed people, causing them to behave in odd and terrifying manners. By the 1800s, the understanding evolved, and some doctors studying hysteria began to theorize that a single person could have multiple independently functioning personas.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Early Research on Multiple Personality Disorder A rare research film from the 1920s showcases a woman exhibiting multiple personalities, each believing they are a separate individual. One personality is a male uncomfortable in women's clothes, while another is a small child. This phenomenon, known by various names through the centuries, is today recognized as multiple personality disorder. The chapter also mentions a college student who embodies many personalities.
• 01:00 - 01:30: Examples of Multiple Personality Disorder Cases The chapter delves into multiple personality disorder cases, with stark examples illustrating the complexities of the condition. It highlights individuals like a policeman inhabited by a troubled child identity and a wife and mother who occasionally becomes a five-year-old. The segment provokes questions about childhood traumas that fragment personalities and explores the depths of the sufferers' minds as they battle these hidden scars.
• 01:30 - 15:00: Case Study: Gretchen This chapter focuses on the case study of Gretchen, a woman who attends therapy twice a week. Financial constraints prevent her from owning a car, leading her to walk across town for her therapy sessions. The divorcee, who has two children, seldom sees them. The chapter emphasizes the themes of past memories and healing.
• 15:00 - 19:30: Case Study: John In this chapter titled 'Case Study: John', the focus is on a character named Gretchen who is reflecting on her life at the age of 34. She expresses feelings of regret and societal pressure, believing she should be focusing on her family and career at this point in her life. The chapter delves into Gretchen's long-standing battle with severe psychiatric problems, which have complicated her adult life and required extensive treatment. Despite needing help for years, there seems to be a lack of consensus among doctors regarding her condition, indicating a challenging journey of diagnosis and treatment.
• 19:30 - 28:00: Case Study: Barb The chapter titled 'Case Study: Barb' delves into the story of Gretchen, diagnosed two years ago with multiple personality disorder (now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder). The chapter reveals Gretchen's daily struggles to live a functional life and her desperate attempts to comprehend her condition. It outlines the inception of her problems during childhood and her feelings of being different from a very young age.
• 28:00 - 29:30: Conclusion and Reflection The chapter revolves around the theme of self-reflection and societal expectations. The narrator discusses the pressure of fitting in and the fear of being perceived as 'crazy' or 'abnormal.' This internal dialogue highlights the struggle with identity and the lengths individuals go to appear 'normal' in society.

Multiple Personality Disorder - Documentary Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 [Music] [Music] in early times evil spirits were thought to possess people and make them act in strange and frightening ways by the 1800s the study of this hysteria led some doctors to believe one person could have separately functioning
• 00:30 - 01:00 personalities in this rare research film from the 1920s a woman has different personalities who believe they are separate people one is a male who is not comfortable in women's clothes another is a small child the affliction has been known by different names but recognized for centuries today it is called multiple personality disorder a college student has many personalities
• 01:00 - 01:30 and one of them wants to kill her a 40 year old policeman has living within him a tortured child but tell me a wife and mother becomes a five-year-old who is just learning to write her name why have they become tormented and broken into different personalities what is the childhood pain that lies buried in the unknown depths of their minds how can they search for the deadly
• 01:30 - 02:00 memories that hold the secrets of their past and the promise of their healing [Music] twice a week retching walks across town to see her therapist she can't afford a car because what little money she has goes for therapy Gretchen is divorced and has two children who she hardly ever sees it
• 02:00 - 02:30 just hit me that I'm 34 and that I should be you know with my kids mothering my kids and I should already have a career and I should already be somewhere doing something for most of her adult life Gretchen has had severe psychiatric problems she's needed treatment for years but doctors never agreed about I okay okay good time to
• 02:30 - 03:00 come out I didn't know and I was waiting no this is a good time it's a good time we were talking about anger and I know I don't like two years ago Gretchen was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder she struggles to function every day it is desperately trying to understand what is wrong Gretchen's problems began when she was a child I I always felt different I didn't
• 03:00 - 03:30 feel like I was like at everyone else or anyone else um and I thought I was crazy and I would hear that in my head too we are so good at hiding ourselves and appearing normal I don't want people to think I'm crazy I don't want to appear abnormal in any way I want to fit in all
• 03:30 - 04:00 of these categories would be considered subordinate this richard has returned to school to finish her degree she is an honors student at a small College in upstate New York I want to clarify I thought the subordinate was a higher more general and subordinate I've got it backwards Gretchen is also studying art and has classes in painting and sculpture it's difficult for me in
• 04:00 - 04:30 school a lot something occurs in the class and we're instantly overwhelmed I need to find a safe place I need to run out of the room and find a safe place to be when Gretchen is in distress she switches to a personality that is emotionally stronger you know Gretchen's having a hard day I I come out and and I go to class I take exams I study high
• 04:30 - 05:00 and a lot of that's easier for me to do than it is for her I just seemed to pick up concepts faster she gets so nervous and stuff an aggressive personality emerges when Gretchen must be assertive and handle stressful situations the personality who goes by the name of myself is often hostile and critical aggression she gets all overwhelmed she can't think clearly she becomes frightened she becomes depressed and non-functional she just
• 05:00 - 05:30 doesn't function she will just sit and do nothing when others come out I I don't always know what's happening what happens to me is I get pulled in I feel like I'm just shutting down I'm very far away I can't then I have no conscious awareness of what's going on out here when Gretchen switches to another personality she's often unconscious while the other personality is in
• 05:30 - 06:00 control sometimes she loses hours sometimes a whole day regin communicates with her other personalities by writing back and forth in a journal each personality has a different handwriting I requested when we started this that please when someone is out will they please write the date the day and the time and where they were who they might have seen if they would please give me an idea of where the body's been because it was hard for me not to know where
• 06:00 - 06:30 this body's been to come out and to find myself in a place or realize that half a day's been half a day is gone did we go to class did we meet who we were supposed to meet Gretchen is troubled by disturbing images and having feelings of uncontrollable panic as Gretchen studied one night in the library someone nearby began to clean with a vacuum the sound caused her to panic and she started to
• 06:30 - 07:00 run we tried to help Gretchen experiences panic attacks that are triggered by certain sights and sounds the attacks can happen anyplace at any time
• 07:00 - 07:30 hate hate hate hate hate Gretchen is mutilated by a personality that feels she should be hurt and punished the mutilation takes the form of cutting and happens outside of Gretchen's knowledge or control she got pretty seriously and and and
• 07:30 - 08:00 left left it in look for me I mean I was when I came out I was I was a mess I was covered and the book was covered with blood
• 08:00 - 08:30 one night Gretchen was working in the art studio at school when a destructive personality took control she found herself with cuts on her arm and blood on her clothes Gretchen returned to school to see what had happened what happened here Preston oh we got cut last I remember it was 10:30 or 11
• 08:30 - 09:00 o'clock in the night and I don't remember anymore I didn't know that we'd been cut till the next afternoon I need to clean this up
• 09:00 - 09:30 the mutilation has been happening for years hundreds of cuts have been inflicted on Gretchen's arm and on other parts of her body but this cutting is more serious than most her life is becoming unmanageable and dangerous I need to know what happened me so that I can deal with it and and heal from it
• 09:30 - 10:00 I can't heal from something I don't know what it's about I need I need to understand it as best I can so that I can go on with my life Gretchen traveled 2,000 miles to get
• 10:00 - 10:30 specialized treatment at a psychiatric hospital in Texas which has especially and treating multiple personality disorder there's one thing to get a memory hospital therapy focuses on recovering repressed memories like Gretchen everyone here is struggling to come to terms with the truth about their past being able to accept what you're getting your memories may mean that you also have to accept something about someone you don't want to what's the most
• 10:30 - 11:00 painful thing about it believing that that really happened to you I know I could hear the screaming of my head to run but there wasn't anywhere to run I was in in a corner I think except
• 11:00 - 11:30 that I don't I can see my body as a child as it wasn't wretch and explained her increasingly vivid flashbacks to her therapist at the hospital who was Kevin Hinckley you've been asking for a long time years you've
• 11:30 - 12:00 been asking inside to get memories to complete memories to know what's going on in there and now it's happening it feels real close [Music]
• 12:00 - 12:30 I've come to the point where I pretty much accept that something happened to me and then I was sexually abused when I try to think that um of whom it might might be you know and I'm I seem to get caught on getting closer and closer to feeling like I may I may know who that might be or may probably be that doesn't
• 12:30 - 13:00 fit with what I know that I experienced and that I saw and then I hear and then I it done everything fits but it doesn't fit I had I had a wonderful life I have lots of happy memories I have lots of wonderful things in my childhood legs go up to a white shirt in therapy
• 13:00 - 13:30 personalities began to emerge who had experienced abuse that Gretchen herself didn't remember Kevin asked questions to try and piece together what had happened is there a beard on the chin mm-hmm no beard a personality who was a frightened child remembers the approach of someone who hurt her she'll smile I get real real small no the memories became
• 13:30 - 14:00 increasingly vivid and were experienced as if the abuse were actually happening past and present we're indistinguishable we're still in Texas it's 1992 you're safe but I know this is a real scary memory what are you seeing what's happening with the big hands when the experience
• 14:00 - 14:30 was too much to bear a child personality tried to escape into the wall when alter personalities have memories and relive abuse wretch and her self gets closer to remembering what happened [Music]
• 14:30 - 15:00 who's here it's myself the best thing about journal writing isn't he just come popping out that's why I'm writing that's my see I go on for pages and
• 15:00 - 15:30 that's Gretchen's writing you used to hurt question I would do anything to destroy anything she did and hurt her in any way I could and I used to be one of those inside that the letter B little Darrin called her names and swore at her and and hurt her I cut the [ __ ] out of her and I'm very good at it I'm the one who's severed the artery and the four tendons why did you do that
• 15:30 - 16:00 and when I want to kill her hair what did she do I stopped growing at 14 because that's when she began and becoming interested in in boys and dating and all that and I hate it I didn't want any part of it so I I quit it wasn't gonna be any more than 14 there's nobody was ever gonna touch me
• 16:00 - 16:30 and whenever that would happen was Gretchen it would hurt me and I would hate it and would hate her and I would hate her for letting that happen Tony cutter we have to be able to build Gretchen's self her sense of her own control her ability to resist the urges to switch the urges to
• 16:30 - 17:00 cut the ER just have to mutilate Richards case was discussed in a hospital staff meeting where therapists and psychiatrists consult and make therapeutic decisions I think she's experiencing a lot of anxiety because her body she says why is my head hitting the wall why is somebody cutting my arm if she was aware of why all this is happening to her physically she's slowly coming to grips with that one of the things that I've tried to
• 17:00 - 17:30 have her understand is that internally she has a tremendous pressure that's going on that there's a tremendous conflict between those inside that have carried the memories for so long who want who want other people to know what happened to them they no longer want to carry these memories there's a tremendous pressure for them to tell their stories about what occurred Breton's memories were still blocked and the impasse was beginning to affect the
• 17:30 - 18:00 progress of her therapy other personalities needed to be reached so their memories could bring her closer to a cure Gretchen was given a drug called sodium amytal which acts like a truth serum the drug helps break through resistance to remembering the past she was restrained because some personalities could be violent the incident we were talking about yesterday with Gretchen as a child in the corner
• 18:00 - 18:30 and the legs coming in what do you know about that yes they're still there okay stay with the bathroom for a moment then what happened they need everybody to stay in the bathroom this time let's finish this they moved in the bathroom over to us and then what then there was
• 18:30 - 19:00 a penis in her mouth yeah yuck whose penis was it I don't know Emrys began to surface about oral
• 19:00 - 19:30 and vaginal abuse that it occurred in a bathroom so far these were the most specific and detailed memories to come out but then another personality named enigma appeared a dangerous personality at the core of Gretchen's self-destruction enigma what happened what happens to you if the puzzle gets solved huh are you punished in some way Oh killer before you kill her I'll kill her before you kill her
• 19:30 - 20:00 guess what the good news is I'm not gonna kill her there's no punishment I'm not gonna hurt her and I have no intentions of killing her we're gonna keep her safe and that's where I need your help no she doesn't no no that's what the abusers said and it was not true enigmas job is to kill the body should these memories come out and you hear
• 20:00 - 20:30 halfway through the interview her saying I'll kill her before you do makes me wonder if there was some kind of threat that says if you ever talked will kill you and this is kind of what I look like that's about how old I am that picture she looks pretty happy you know Gretchen was exhausted after therapy so an untroubled child personality picture I cut out an 8 we haven't had a caught a
• 20:30 - 21:00 very good couple of days and everything was being um everyone has been up in arms what's been going on well I don't know all of the details but there's been a lot of people that are upset and hurting inside and hurting hurting stomachs and hurting throats and the worst part is hurting heart sometimes
• 21:00 - 21:30 our heart we have hurting hearts I try to just help out plus I get to have some fun myself if I'm out I get to do something I don't always have to work Gretchen was unaware of the memories that had been revealed in therapy the
• 21:30 - 22:00 next step was for her to learn about the abuse that had always been too painful to remember she doesn't understand it was small do you understand that as as we walk through this what pay attention this but also be aware of what's going on inside you okay oh man I don't ask too much I mean she doesn't
• 22:00 - 22:30 understand is why the body wasn't able to fight more back then Kevin asked Gretchen to watch videotape of the therapy so she would know what her other personalities had remembered but when Gretchen began to hear details of her abuse her mind began to block the experience this is how Gretchen protected herself when she was a child
• 22:30 - 23:00 they stay connected here what are you feeling right now [Applause] minutes later and funded with the abuse
• 23:00 - 23:30 the violent personality of enigma emerged in a rage I don't know what you
• 23:30 - 24:00 were taught but it's not true [Music] I had an idea that this might happen this is a real common reaction when things have been so far repressed down inside and then they see it on videotape for the first time or hear it for first time suddenly it becomes very real and
• 24:00 - 24:30 they and they know that things happen it makes it the denial melts away and they're faced with the reality of the trauma and the pain and it's it can be a real shock in an outpatient setting this may take place over weeks and weeks and months in a hospital setting we have the ability to present it to them right away where the shock is greater but they get over it more quickly and then understand what happened to what was going on at the time that you disappeared what was
• 24:30 - 25:00 the last thing you remember um I was getting some threats and getting later in the day Gretchen had recovered Kevin spoke with her and reassured her that she would prevail and succeed in her recovery I hear you and part of what we're gonna hope to give to is where you get to find out that you don't have to leave and you may be stronger by staying because you are more powerful than you think you are have you safe
• 25:00 - 25:30 [Music] thank you I'm fighting for my life I'm fighting for the survival of this body and and more than just the survival of this body I don't I don't want to just survive I
• 25:30 - 26:00 have been just surviving for a long time this isn't this is no way to live I would like to begin living and then feeling not just existing [Music]
• 26:00 - 26:30 after four months of treatment in Texas Gretchen returned home and finished college graduating summa [ __ ] laude in the top 1% of her class she now feels she knows who her abuser is and therapy is helping her heal and gain control of
• 26:30 - 27:00 her life Gretchen plans to continue with their education who does the shooting I do Scout Pez doc does who are they there are various altars that I have John is an expert marksman
• 27:00 - 27:30 he was an Army Ranger and sharpshooter a target practice his alter personalities take turns shooting John's personalities have different styles and firing a gun Scout shoots from one knee what is your function in the system with my function
• 27:30 - 28:00 [Music] I act as the observer the scalp how do you help John excuse me how do you work with gel and how do you help John I give him the information he needs from time to time information that he's overlooked or has not noticed John
• 28:00 - 28:30 shares his job as a police officer with several personalities who have different abilities he switches when different police skills are needed and is always aware of what his other personalities are doing it just sort of depends on the situation normally I'm out quite a bit of the time come on
• 28:30 - 29:00 what are we doing [Music] pickup truck over here matches something we've been looking or possibly in a stolen as John began pursuit he switched to a personality who is good at driving in high-speed chases
• 29:00 - 29:30 [Applause] when the stop was made there was another switch and John returned to confront the driver of the truck warning now fast you were going you don't have any idea is
• 29:30 - 30:00 your old John let her work on here - lights got burnt I paced you at over 75 miles an hour among his fellow officers John has a good reputation lieutenant Pritchard is his commanding officer John knows what's going on one morning when he's out there in any given situation he's he's able to make decisions on his feet in tough situations and I just think really fast this is why we were in
• 30:00 - 30:30 st. Louis at the training academy my rookie dog and me the rookie handler we worked patrol together for four and a half years best partner I ever had much better than any to fully partner I ever worked with John showed us his scrapbook of 13 years as a police officer he's had many awards and commendations which began early in his career in 1982 I was awarded the outstanding officer of the
• 30:30 - 31:00 Year award by the Jaycees which is an award that's offered every year high while he was showing us the scrapbook John switched to a 10 year old personality named Johnny I John had trained his dog to stay out of the living room but when he switched the dog entered sensing that his master was no longer present
• 31:00 - 31:30 ok that's John he's an adult and he's a policeman the child personality of Johnny recognizes John in the photograph and sees him as a separate person Johnny read the article from the scrapbook and like a ten-year-old had trouble understanding the words in for cement officer of 1982 by the
• 31:30 - 32:00 I don't know Jake jakey's
• 32:00 - 32:30 when John switched back the dog recognized him and left the room as he had been trained john has been divorced three times and now lives alone he's had problems with depression and unexplainable mood swings especially controlling his temper John used to have a drinking problem but has been sober for years [Music] did you ever go back after him was that
• 32:30 - 33:00 okay or not yeah John's therapist is Julie Clark who has been treating him since his diagnosis bush face first okay several years ago John began having flashbacks of being abused as a child he began therapy and soon after different
• 33:00 - 33:30 personalities began to appear John was hospitalized with a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress and multiple personality disorder since then personalities with memories of abuse have come forward like Edward who remembers being shoved down a staircase years old was he the abuse his alter personalities remember was never known
• 33:30 - 34:00 by John himself he has only vague memories of growing up my memories a childhood a real limited it's more like a framework and I can tell you where I wanted to school maybe a little bit about some of the later grades along about seventh and eighth grade egg filling some blanks
• 34:00 - 34:30 what John can remember is a stable home and being well provided for he also remembers the voices that have always existed inside his mind I've always been aware that there were voices okay that I spoke live and it spoke to me but I thought that was subconscious or thoughts or however you want to put it on that roll sure it seemed natural seemed normal
• 34:30 - 35:00 the voices John heard were those of his twenty personalities many of them are frightened children who appear only in therapy five-year-old Hans was tortured with electricity mm-hmm how do you hurt you electricity yeah do you remember how he did that it's okay to say the words here with the box Oh electrical box or
• 35:00 - 35:30 another kind of box the box what do you do with the box you only have to see it for a few minutes let yourself see the pictures oh I know you don't like it you know what
• 35:30 - 36:00 it's not happening today you're here with me in the office haunts cries of pain only encouraged his abusers then John would switch to an emotionless personality named Eugene who did not feel the pain how was the electricity applied to the body how and where was applied by a hand-cranked type
• 36:00 - 36:30 generator with wires attached to various locations depending upon what was being used at the time in general to the hands and feet at times to the stomach at times to the genital area John was also sexually abused by both male and female perpetrators including a priest he created a personality whose job it
• 36:30 - 37:00 was to have sex what else did you do don't like it did you have any feelings when that happened I didn't like it okay
• 37:00 - 37:30 okay and you don't have to do that again either oh okay got enough to make behind that trash can right through the door I wish I was something in it and I seen it without thinking I picked it up okay and then in
• 37:30 - 38:00 addition to Street Patrol John works on different assignments like this search for a murder weapon he also investigates many child abuse cases and has been appointed to a County Task Force setting standards for their investigations it's very obvious that my perpetrators will never be prosecuted at this stage in in my life there's no physical evidence that would link back to anyone ever having done anything to me at any given point in time of my
• 38:00 - 38:30 childhood let me know what a prove in a court of law at least I'm making a difference even as small as it is in the area that I'm in but there was a difference made maybe there's one perpetrator out there that will the prison and you'll be known or she'll be now maybe that makes a difference in some child or some woman's wife so that's
• 38:30 - 39:00 real important to us on a Saturday morning in a large Northwestern City Barb and her family are shopping for groceries barb and Pat have been married for nine years and had three daughters today they're with Hannah who is nine and Lori who is six this isn't what you want huh
• 39:00 - 39:30 Pat is off work on weekends from his warehouse job and Barb manages their household I know you like candy but that's not what we're buying today okay well you guys get to pick two cereals so you each get to pick one stop let them up [Music] as they come to the breakfast food section the children's cereal there appeals not only to her daughters but to a child within barb a five-year-old
• 39:30 - 40:00 personality named Mae [Music] no I don't want one epic no no it's gonna be stronger yeah well let's find out barb switches to the personality of May her eyesight changes Barb's vision needs to be corrected by strong glasses but may can barely see through them ok
• 40:00 - 40:30 ok - of them girls Barb's daughters are familiar with me and Pat who sees her often treats her like the child she almost literally is for language and thoughts are those of a five-year-old I
• 40:30 - 41:00 think we have some cookies we have lots of cookies we have some chips and stuff too I think this is good for now okay there's something else I go didn't want to wear when Pat and Barb were married
• 41:00 - 41:30 barb had been in therapy for severe depression but no one suspected that she had other personalities whole we were in bed one night and she woke me up because she wasn't sleeping she was sitting in bed and I sat up and she she asked me who I was I said I'm Pat I'm your husband and she said I don't have a husband I'm only nine years old what are you doing in my bed [Music]
• 41:30 - 42:00 barb knows almost nothing about her other personalities her mind protects her with amnesia from knowing things that would be traumatic or upsetting barb is now 34 and has virtually no memories before the birth of her children what is your first memory clear memory something that I really know is a memory I guess it would be
• 42:00 - 42:30 when Pat and I were driving in the car we were on our way to a Lamaze class which he usually flipped through and we were trying to come up for a name for the baby and all of a sudden he said something about his grandma Hannah and I said that's the name I thought he might want to name the baby 23 barb develops
• 42:30 - 43:00 multiple personality disorder because she needed to cope with the tremendous disparity between the life that her family expected her to reflect to the outside world and what was actually going on in that household Barb's therapist - Stephen Feldman was an acknowledged expert in the treatment of multiple personality disorder her father was a prominent successful dentist he
• 43:00 - 43:30 was a professor at the University he had a flourishing private practice her mother was a professional and for all intents and purposes they were the model family but Barb's family was profoundly troubled notes from a psychiatrist who counseled barb as a child suggest that her home life was chaotic and that Barb's mother dealt with the family's problems mainly by denying they existed barb developed an ulcer and when she was
• 43:30 - 44:00 13 had the first of several abortions performed during her teenage years I think that she was tortured for years and years and years I think that she was physically abused sexually abused psychologically abused her father was a very sadistic and horrible person something in my pockets that belongs across my face I keep it
• 44:00 - 44:30 Barb's amnesia for her childhood enables her to live free from the burden of her past but her abuse is not really forgotten those memories exist in the minds of our other personalities personalities who lead different lives when an alter personality takes control bard may disappear for days at a time she finds herself far from home occasionally in other states and once in Canada when this happens barb experiences a total
• 44:30 - 45:00 loss of time Bub's personalities are different ages we're daughters games cause barb to switch to a child personality who emerges because she is most suited for play switching often
• 45:00 - 45:30 happens in response to changes in Barb's environment Lori's used to her mother's other personalities but the switches are not so easy for her husband Pat I'm going to go away it's hard because Here I am still wanting to act toward her like her
• 45:30 - 46:00 husband you know and I get pushed away and you know that gets real confusing and real hard to do sometimes yeah I gotta sit back and realize well this isn't my life I can't do this I can't just come up behind her and hug her because there are some alters that don't want to be hugged you know don't want to be touched oh my gosh never mind aah often tactless care for the three daughters and managed the house alone the children
• 46:00 - 46:30 have learned to accept their mothers absences the times when barb is switched to another personality aunt Esther burger yeah mm-hmm and some of Barb's personalities don't relate to the family one of them is a teenage girl named DJ DJ is different than barb in her posture voice and language it also smokes I have it barb dislikes DJ also has different thoughts and feelings how do you feel about
• 46:30 - 47:00 Barb's children terms of whether they're your children are not your children do not I mean I care about them and stuff but they're not my kids they're Barb's djay emerges when barb needs to drive because driving makes barb nervous DJ is emotionally stronger and has
• 47:00 - 47:30 memories that barb doesn't memories of abuse he's done it straight and drill on her keep drilling other parts of her body with his dentals drill eat [ __ ] out of chickens when barb couldn't run from her father she escaped into her mind leaving another personality to experience and contain the worst memories of torture he burned
• 47:30 - 48:00 up a kitty was it your kitty the emotional pain that barb experienced as a child is isolated in the personality of seven-year-old Audrey who is locked in the past now close your eyes now you
• 48:00 - 48:30 know that I'm holding your hand right here in this room right and I wasn't there when you all were really little and Roger was there was I I wasn't there so if I'm holding your hand then you have to be here in my office with me don't you okay many of Barb's personalities are involved in therapy but some are resistant and difficult to deal with I don't get [ __ ] thing you
• 48:30 - 49:00 said the last time when you were breaking stuff you said when you start hearing all those things going on inside all that chaos going on inside that it makes you do that stuff to try and quiet everything down I don't want to talk about nothing why because I don't why as a small girl barb was physically unable to fend off the abuse and because she knew that boys were stronger barb
• 49:00 - 49:30 created male personalities who could fight Devin is a teenage boy [ __ ] leave me alone Barb's father was not her only abuser he frequented the local bars where he made friends that shared his interests my father would bring people home that
• 49:30 - 50:00 were also you know open-minded and interested in having sex with a young girl I had a lot of men that were and he would have me have sex with them sometimes he would ask me to tell them that I was a virgin that seemed to heighten their interest and he would get paid let's see this is
• 50:00 - 50:30 more her style of a tank top okay okay is mine Bob created a personality which made it easier to tolerate her abuse a personality with different feelings about her body what's your name Carrie when Carrie is out there can be serious problems she feels no responsibility to the family and has caused difficulties for years there's always been money missing
• 50:30 - 51:00 it's always a couple hundred dollars at a time or I had six hundred dollars disappear once I mean it the only thing it was obvious to me that she sent it but at the time we didn't know she was a multiple and she had no explanation I had to believe it when she said she didn't know because it was just too obvious from talking to her that she really didn't tell what was going on apparently the police have already called barb told her that day they got
• 51:00 - 51:30 two reports from like 17 different businesses on returned checks that were concerned I still don't know what's going on with that I haven't talked to anyone myself about it all right unknown to Barb or anyone carrie has written $1,500 worth of bad checks money the family doesn't have Pat is trying to get a loan from his credit union to pay the debt sorry interesting awhile from a
• 51:30 - 52:00 collection agency what tech was that for I know you had an appointment today
• 52:00 - 52:30 sweetie acuity where's my kisses that evening we check back with the family Pat got the loan and was able to make good on the bad checks and in another room barbets which to carry again so we
• 52:30 - 53:00 were able to talk with her about what had happened I bent it what did you spend the money on I bought clothes and perfume and jewelry and I had a good time whatever I wanted to ate wherever I wanted to eat yeah why how would you feel if you were in my position
• 53:00 - 53:30 I don't know tell me one more time what your position is I am stuck here I don't have a life I am I feel you you feel very used I'm only allowed out when it's not something anyone else wants to handle
• 53:30 - 54:00 it's really not fair other personalities antagonism toward barber take even more serious forms what we need to do is to get get another x-ray and then put another splint on it but one that'll help help protect these fingers from moving through here there's a little bit of a fit of anger Barb's male personality has punched a concrete wall and broken her hand in four places and the violence against her
• 54:00 - 54:30 can be even more appalling okay I don't know how it happens I just find burns on my face and nail large blisters and it's painful you know parents really hurt Barb's mutilations by other personalities are acts of self-hatred and self-punishment for being abused
• 54:30 - 55:00 once after a drug overdose Barb's car was set on fire from the inside later barb found herself in intensive care breathing on a respirator she had barely escaped with her life [Music] we were with Barb and her family when a dangerous time had come again alter
• 55:00 - 55:30 personalities were threatening to kill her so barb decided to seek protection in a psychiatric hospital think if I didn't have children it wouldn't be so bad but for their sake I don't know what they would how they would deal with it
• 55:30 - 56:00 if anything else happened I don't know how they've made it as far as they have and come through as well as they have
• 56:00 - 56:30 [Music] Barb's father is dead but he has left a legacy of never-ending pain his abuse has affected all their lives made me real angry at him and at her mom but I could say that's past he's gone you know we got to let all that go and just work with what's left he destroyed her we got
• 56:30 - 57:00 to put her back together that's a terrible terrible thing you did I just wish she was here too you know it's a pay up [Music]
• 57:00 - 57:30 the people who have allowed their stories to be told have acted with enormous courage and concern for children who continue to be abused their wish is that from the shattered experience of their lives the reality and consequences of child abuse will become better known and better prevented multiple personality disorders shows the extraordinary capacity of the mind to invent ways of barring the unbearable
• 57:30 - 58:00 and these people also show us that when allowed to give up its secrets the human mind can heal itself [Music]