Narrative Therapy Exerpt from Dr. Bitter

Summary

In this transcript, Dr. Bitter provides a narrative therapy session demonstrating its postmodern approach, emphasizing social constructionism. The session focuses on building multiple stories within the family and slowly defining the problem to avoid artificial experiences. The family's concern involves their son, John's, interest in attending a church, seen as a 'hate community,' with societal pressures impacting their relationships. The session seeks to externalize problems, allowing the family to address their fears, internalized social judgments, and the complex dynamics of supporting John's decision while understanding the external societal influences they face.

Highlights

• Dr. Bitter demonstrates narrative therapy's focus on family storytelling and consensus-building around problem definitions. 📚
• Externalizing problems helps families identify how societal pressures affect their internal dynamics, encouraging understanding over judgment. 🌍
• The session explores concerns over a church perceived as a 'hate community,' illustrating societal impacts on personal relationships. 🏳️‍🌈

Key Takeaways

• Social constructionism and postmodern therapy shape narrative therapy, focusing on family storytelling and problem definition to avoid artificial experiences. 📚
• The importance of externalizing problems in therapy to explore their effects on individuals, helping families address their concerns and fears. 🎭
• The central family concern involves their son attending a church that may impose negative societal judgments on their lifestyle. 🌈

Overview

In this session led by Dr. Bitter, narrative therapy takes the spotlight, showcasing how stories within families can evolve through dialogue and influence each other. By fostering a consensus on problem definitions, the approach aims to prevent artificial experiences and create meaningful change. The family in focus grapples with multiple layers of narratives around a sensitive issue involving their son, John, who is caught between his supportive friend and the family's perception of their peer environment.

The value of externalizing problems is highlighted, allowing the family to dissect how such issues affect their lives. Through constructive dialogue, they begin to understand the societal narratives influencing their decisions and fears. This helps break down harmful stereotypes and prejudices, especially around their lifestyle and John's interactions with a church that holds contrasting beliefs.

Throughout the session, narrative therapy facilitates a safe space for the family to express their concerns and fears without conflict. It underscores the importance of understanding different stories within the family, as well as the influences from society at large, offering a path toward healing and mutual respect despite external pressures.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction to Narrative Therapy The chapter introduces Narrative Therapy within the framework of social constructionism and postmodern therapy. The session highlighted focuses on developing multiple family stories and the process of externalization. Further insights from Graham are anticipated.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Defining the Problem in Narrative Therapy In this chapter titled 'Defining the Problem in Narrative Therapy,' the author discusses the initial phase of narrative therapy where defining the problem is crucial. The narrative often starts with clients' first impressions or definitions of their problem, which can evolve through conversation and dialogue. Different perspectives may emerge as each person shares their narrative, leading to potential influence and change in each other's understanding of the problem. The chapter emphasizes the dynamic nature of problem definition in therapy sessions, as illustrated in an example video where individuals have differing thoughts about the issue at hand. As they narrate their stories, there is a mutual influence that can reshape their initial ideas and perceptions.
• 01:00 - 02:00: Exploring Different Stories and Externalization The chapter discusses the concept of defining and externalizing problems within family dynamics, as part of the narrative therapy model. It highlights the importance of reaching a consensual agreement among family members about the name and understanding of the problem. This approach allows families to explore the effects of the problem on their lives, and identify ways in which they can influence the problem. While externalization is highlighted as an essential process, the chapter advises against rushing into it.
• 02:00 - 03:00: Impact of External Societal Stories The chapter discusses the influence of external societal narratives on personal experiences and therapy. It emphasizes the need for therapists to remain flexible, willing to abandon outdated problem definitions that no longer serve the client's needs. The importance of continuous adaptation and redefining the problem to better fit the evolving therapeutic process is highlighted.
• 03:00 - 06:00: Family Members Share Their Perspectives The chapter explores the theme of conflict within a family, highlighting how differing personal narratives among family members, as well as external societal stories, particularly those concerning gay and lesbian experiences, influence family dynamics. It stresses the potential for these external narratives to create distrust and division within the family.
• 06:00 - 09:00: Fears and Concerns About Church Influence The chapter titled 'Fears and Concerns About Church Influence' discusses the influence of fear-based narratives in the context of the church and personal relationships. It suggests that while operating from a place of fear may be necessary in certain external situations, this mindset should not encroach upon personal lives and relationships. Acknowledgements are given to individuals like John, Cassandra, and Beverly, and a discussion is prompted about their opinions on the matter.
• 09:00 - 13:00: John's Perspective of Support and Judgment The chapter titled 'John's Perspective of Support and Judgment' explores a session where participants are encouraged to share their views about a particular problem. The facilitator emphasizes that taking notes is purely for capturing the conversation verbatim and not for critiquing the participants. The ultimate goal of the session is to gain a collective understanding of the problem and examine each individual's relationship with it, allowing for collaborative problem-solving and reflection on personal experiences and judgments.
• 13:00 - 17:00: Exploring Fear and Its Impact on Relationships The chapter explores fear and its impact on relationships, beginning with a focus on identifying problems in family dynamics. A person, possibly a therapist, prompts family members to describe how they perceive the problem that has brought them to a session. Beverly and another person, who are life partners, indicate that John is their son. The chapter suggests examining the effects of these problems on their lives as a starting point for understanding and resolving relational issues.

Narrative Therapy Exerpt from Dr. Bitter Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 Graham this is a um demonstration of narrative therapy uh which Falls within the concepts of both social constructionism and postmodern approaches to therapy um I notice that in this uh particular session uh you focused a lot on the development of multiple stories within the family um and took some time moving towards an externalization and I'm wondering if you would just comment on
• 00:30 - 01:00 that yeah I I'd like to try to move very slowly in uh defining what the problem is it's often where people are starting with their first definition of what the problem is through conversation dialogue with each other uh some of that can change and they can even influence each other's ideas about that which you kind of saw in the video that they had very different stories about what the problem was and then as they each tell their story they may be influenced ing uh each
• 01:00 - 01:30 other's definition of that problem and then start moving uh seeing if there's a consensual agreement within the family to of what to name the problem uh and then start to explore it in that externalized way in terms of what the those effects of the problem are on them and uh to some degree start to find out ways in which they have an effect on the problem so while externalization U may be a very important process within the narrative therapy model rushing into it
• 01:30 - 02:00 prematurely can simply make the whole experience seem artificial absolutely and and even uh you might be three four sessions down the road and find out you've been working with one definition that no longer fits any longer so I think it's important for the therapist to be willing at any point to abandon a particular definition of the problem and find one that's a better fit now as the session has evolved uh one of the things that I also like about it and I think
• 02:00 - 02:30 you can see some of this in the tape is that it it invites them to not be in Conflict so much with each other but it's a conflict of different stories within the family and the stories that exist outside the family as well sure in this particular case the societal stories around uh gay and lesbian experience are really strongly impacting this family right and and could result in them kind of turning and distrusting
• 02:30 - 03:00 and operating out of a fear-based story with each other in times when that's really not necessary may be necessary for them to operate in that way with the world around them but that could start creeping into their lives and their relationships with each other in ways that aren't necessary gram thank you um I really like the sensitive development of the externalization process in this video John Cassandra Beverly what I want to do is get a sense of what you think
• 03:00 - 03:30 is the problem and as I I'd like to hear from each of you and one of the things that I do is take notes and try to jot down some of what you're seeing and you're welcome at the end of the session to take what I whatever it is that I write down I'm not writing things about you I'm just trying to get some things down verbatim as you say them and as we have conversation and I hear from each of you about your understanding of what the problem is then I'm thinking we'll take a look at your relationship with the problem and together we may come up
• 03:30 - 04:00 with some way to call the problem something that makes sense to all of us and then look at the effects that the problem is having on your lives and um go from there okay so whoever would like to start to give me a sense of uh how you're identifying the problem that's brought you here would you like to go dear sh um well basically Beverly and I are life partners and John is our son um we both
• 04:00 - 04:30 birthed him but he came out of my body you know technically so he is our son we had to go through the legal process of having Beverly adopt John so he is our son completely now okay um but basically um John has a friend Gary who has asked him to come um join the congregation at a fundamentalist Baptist Church right and Beverly and I are concerned about what he'll be hearing and exposed to while he's there okay and you have
• 04:30 - 05:00 concerns about what he's going to hear when he goes to this church with Gary could could you say more about what kinds of concerns you would have about what he would hear yeah um you know we live in a relatively secluded area now but before we lived in a neighborhood where a lot of the neighbors would put out signs you know quoting the Bible and condemning us to hell because we're um lesbians right and so I guess I'm concerned that he's going to go in this church and while he's hearing some really positive things about Jesus and love he's also going to
• 05:00 - 05:30 hear you know that we're in Abomination and that we're going to hell and you know some really awful things too and these people have also been known to you know abduct homosexual children and torture them to try to get them to change into heterosexuals so I just don't think it's a safe environment right so you're worried about uh his safety and the kinds of things that he's going to hear MH right okay
• 05:30 - 06:00 and is this unique to just uh this particular church or is this like something that you have to be worrying about and thinking about uh when he goes to school or when he if he participates in some other kind of activity or is there something that's particularly unique about this or is this something that is kind of a lifestyle that you have to live with I think it's a lifestyle I mean I you know I worry about it all the time but this is one particular in instance where this group
• 06:00 - 06:30 has been known to to hate homosexuals mhm right so it's not going to be a surprise almost expecting that that's what he's going to bump into come into contact with correct if he goes here yeah and and you're wanting to tell him not to do it or what is it that you're wanting I want to tell him not to do it yeah or are telling him not to do it basically okay so you've already said I would for your sake I don't want you to
• 06:30 - 07:00 go is that where right that there's no need for him to place himself in a hate Community okay right hate community that that um is a real telling kind of term yeah okay again is that something that that the hate Community does it go beyond the church or is your sense that in general you live in a culture that's a hate Community for you I think in general we
• 07:00 - 07:30 live in a society that's very uncomfortable you know with our lifestyle but this particular Church yeah I would consider them to be a hate Community okay right all right so so John your mom has told you that she considers this a hate community and she doesn't want you going there and the problem is that I guess that maybe you'll go to this hate Community anyway what's your sense of what the problem is I wouldn't want to go if my friend Gary
• 07:30 - 08:00 wasn't really encouraging me to go with him um I mean how this started out was about six months ago he and his parents started going to this church and uh they they got saved they they got dunked in the water um they've been going and uh Gary has been a really strong friend of mine he hasn't been judgmental he hasn't been uh UNS supportive at all versus a lot of the other kids scho who just
• 08:00 - 08:30 heckled the the death out of me and I I had been going on Wednesday nights to go and and hang out with Gary at the church and I don't get the sense that I'm trying to be brainwashed or anything like that um I I want to spend time with my friend who's been really supportive with the family that has been really supportive of me and I don't get the sense that that that's a problem um just want to spend more time with these
• 08:30 - 09:00 these folks who have been so so supportive right right so it is really you kind of have a different story that your mom has the story of you're going to go into this hate community and these people are going to kind of assault you and it won't be safe and your story is I just want to go somewhere with a friend of mine that's been strong and supportive yeah so it's really kind of you have two different stories about what this would mean to go to the I mean having chur having been to the church
• 09:00 - 09:30 with Gary and having gone and spent Wednesdays there with him yeah I don't feel unsafe I don't feel brainwashed I feel as though uh that's something that I I did have to keep secret and I didn't feel right about keeping these things from from my mom's right and so things didn't get bad until I actually was honest and that's when things started going to hell right so you might learn from this not to be honest I don't but I
• 09:30 - 10:00 want to be honest with them that's that's what's right and I mean part of what they're they're talking about in this church is being honest um and I the things that they've taught me these are my two moms and I love them just like any other kid loves a mom and a dad I don't see what's going on with them as as something that's wrong right and they've taught me honesty just just like the folks in this church have so going to the church seems like that's more consistent with what you think
• 10:00 - 10:30 they've taught you in some ways yeah to go where you have made your own decision about whether it's safe and not being brainwashed and to go where you feel like people can particularly Gary is someone who can support you and there a friend um that seems consistent with what they've taught you I've been taught to choose my friends wisely yeah and to really think about what other people are are telling me and trying to teach me that's that's something that you all have have really instilled in me and
• 10:30 - 11:00 Gary has been what I would consider my best friend he's been somebody who has been really supportive right right what happens when you hear his his kind of story you know your story is be careful you might not be safe and his story is I'm you know I know how to make decisions and I know how to read the situation and and this is me doing what I think's right and in fact it's congruent with what you've taught me what happens when you hear how his story's different than your
• 11:00 - 11:30 story I don't know it kind of makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable in a way because you know I I feel comfortable that he you know feels that we've instilled this into him that he can you know choose his friends wisely and that he does take into account you know the way that people can be and everything but it's also it's almost like I want him to understand where I'm coming from so badly you know that there's an in congruence there right right you get that she is worded for your safety I get
• 11:30 - 12:00 that she's uncomfortable yeah um and I get that that this community has caused both of my mothers a lot of harm right right okay well I I want to Beverly give you opportunity to uh say something too and um well maybe before we move to that I I did want to also it sounded like you were saying school can be just as much a hate Community potentially as a church yeah and I mean that's something that she agrees with too um right it's it's
• 12:00 - 12:30 all around us that that people don't understand right what what gays or lesbians go through and I mean having lived with a loving family for 16 years now um you know I I don't I don't feel that way but I do have to be careful about who I talk to about it and right and things like that okay okay but really what what's your
• 12:30 - 13:00 story about the what's the problem well Cassandra and I have done everything that we can really to to raise John Wright and I want to trust in his ability to make decisions right um but I'm really concerned I'm afraid that um what's going to happen is you know he's going to he's going to get in the church and and I know Gary's his best friend I'm afraid he's going to get hurt by Gary um they've only been shoot six months since they've gotten into this
• 13:00 - 13:30 process um they may they may evolve and may change and you know it's it's one thing to to be taught that this is wrong I'm afraid he's going to you know internalize it and begin to hate himself um and you know Cassandra and I have had to deal with a lot of external hate and it's easy to internalize it we've had to work really hard yeah to to keep it outside of us yeah and and I don't want that for our song
• 13:30 - 14:00 right well it's funny to mention that because I was thinking some of the same kind of thing when that what's external can become internal then it's it is kind of Insidious that you end up doing to yourself right what they started off doing to you and as I was listening I and wonder if we could get kind of a handle for what we might call the problem words that popped out for me were uh worry fear uh kind of having to live this care ful lifestyle that the
• 14:00 - 14:30 world is constantly giving you messages that you need to be worried about something you need to be fearful about something um any of those words fit or maybe you have some words of your own if we could come up with kind of saying what it's like for you to live in the world with what's going on in the external any of those words worry careful fear well fear is definitely for me I you know I'm for you for for for
• 14:30 - 15:00 John right okay you're shaking your head yes is that one yeah I think fear also you know is a really big one but being careful too because you know we really try to stay you know focused and pay attention right to what's outside of us because if we don't then we can get hurt right how about for you John any of those words or any other words I think about the word hard hard it's all really hard I I come home and I I love my
• 15:00 - 15:30 family right and regardless of where I go there are places where I'm told I'm not supposed to yeah or that I shouldn't um that's hard yeah so I'm wondering if this kind of if heart or fear or worry started to be something that worked its way inside your family how that would affect your relation ship like how would fear get
• 15:30 - 16:00 you to look at what John's doing about going to church if fear were to have some real powerful influence over you so that it affected the way that you looked at him what or got you to think about what might happen with him how do you think fear would try to have some control or have some kind of effect on you in terms of your relationship with John I'm afraid it's going to distance us H How would do that how how would
• 16:00 - 16:30 fear get you to be distant from your son how would this external fear that comes from other people's behavior work its way into affecting how close or distant you are with your son I don't really know but there's there's just that feeling that it it's it's going to somehow become a wedge between us and and I don't want that right right see I'm afraid if I it came to a point where I was was told not to even spend time with Gary if
• 16:30 - 17:00 I let go of my friend and I get mad about that I'm afraid I'm not going to I'm going to take that out on them right so like somehow fear could get them to mistrust your judgment about who to be with and who to maybe to go is I don't know I'm kind of putting those words out there well no when you were saying that that was what I was thinking was that I've stopped trusting his judgment you know that it's almost like I feel like I need to make the decision for him him right cuz I don't trust that
• 17:00 - 17:30 he can make the right one uhhuh so fear could have a way of getting you to think that it's really about John when it's really not about John it's this fear that's coming in and having these kinds of effects and influences on your relationships yeah okay