Exploring Presence and Connection

Presence and Connection - Exploring Honesty Europe & Circling

Estimated read time: 1:20

Summary

Join Honesty Europe's webinar where exploring presence and connection through practices like Radical Honesty and Circling takes center stage. Facilitated by experienced practitioners, the session delves into personal anecdotes and insights, emphasizing slowing down and embracing one's true self amidst an audience. Participants are encouraged to engage both in self-awareness exercises and in sharing their experiences, fostering a community of open communication and genuine connection. The session highlights how being present and truthful can transform interpersonal interactions and personal well-being.

Highlights

Peter and Tulia share personal experiences and the depth of human connection in awkward situations. 👫
Participants are encouraged to physically feel their presence by noticing body sensations, serving as a grounding exercise. 🤲
Discussions delve into managing fear and anxiety related to public speaking by embracing and being truthful about those feelings. 🎤
Slowing down is emphasized as a crucial tool for navigating conflicts and fostering deeper communication. ⏳

Key Takeaways

Slowing down can enhance presence and connection, both internally and externally. 🐢
Embracing vulnerability on stage or when speaking can foster genuine connection. 🗣️
Expressions of emotions, such as anger, when owned, are healthy and can strengthen relationships. 😡
Presence is more than just physical; it's about being in tune with one's thoughts, emotions, and environment. 🧘‍♀️
The practices of Radical Honesty and Circling can deeply enrich one's interaction with others and self-awareness. 🔄

Overview

This fascinating webinar hosted by Honesty Europe dives into the art of presence and connection. Facilitators from diverse backgrounds in Radical Honesty and Circling share their insights on embracing one's true self in various social and personal contexts. Participants are invited to explore their internal landscape through exercises that highlight the significance of bodily awareness and emotional understanding.

The event emphasizes the importance of honesty, not just in words but in understanding oneself and others. By analyzing how we present ourselves in public forums and private interactions, the facilitators explore the transformative power of being truthful. The webinar also provides insights on how slowing down can aid in more profound personal presence and understanding, both of which are essential for authentic connection.

Participants engage openly, sharing personal stories and fears, especially around public speaking and self-perception. The session wraps up with an invitation to further engage in the practices of Radical Honesty and Circling in future gatherings, offering a community-driven approach to continual personal growth and connection.

Chapters

00:00 - 00:30: Introduction The chapter titled 'Introduction' begins with a warm welcome from the speaker, Ttor, who is speaking from Joani Burgundy, France. Despite the gray, cloudy weather, Ttor expresses happiness in seeing the participants, some of whom have their cameras off. Ttor will serve as the facilitator for the session and offers assistance with any technical issues.
00:30 - 02:30: Webinar Information and Expectations The chapter titled 'Webinar Information and Expectations' outlines the structure and guidelines for an upcoming webinar. The speaker encourages participants to use the chat for questions, which they will try to address. On the technical side, participants are advised to mute their microphones when not speaking to reduce background noise. The webinar will primarily feature speakers Pet and Tulia.
02:30 - 07:00: Introductions by Peter and Tulia The chapter opens with introductions by Peter and Tulia who are hosting a webinar. They explain that the session will include interactive moments inviting participants to write in the chat, open their microphones, and share questions or thoughts, fostering a welcoming atmosphere. Furthermore, Peter and Tulia inform the attendees that the webinar will be recorded and uploaded to the YouTube channel of 'Honesty Rob', as is customary with their webinars. They assure participants that the recording typically only shows the speakers, so attendees need not be concerned about appearing on camera.
07:00 - 13:00: Demonstration of Radical Honesty and Circling The chapter titled 'Demonstration of Radical Honesty and Circling' discusses the procedural and technical aspects of conducting a demonstration session that involves radical honesty and circling. The moderator informs participants about the option to turn off their video while speaking if they prefer not to be seen, though keeping the video on is preferred. The session is scheduled to end at 7 o'clock, and timings are usually adhered to strictly. Participants are encouraged to ask any questions they may have via chat, especially technical ones, to facilitate smooth operation.
13:00 - 23:00: Audience Participation and Experimentation The chapter "Audience Participation and Experimentation" discusses the ongoing webinar series conducted by Tula and the speaker. The series occurs almost monthly, with new topics introduced to explore different aspects of radical SD practices. In this particular session, Peter is also present to introduce his topic.
23:00 - 32:00: Discussion on Presence and Connection In this chapter titled 'Discussion on Presence and Connection', the conversation revolves around the concepts of circling and surrendered leadership. The facilitator invites participants to introduce themselves and share their interpretations of presence and connection. Peter is the first to speak, where he is expected to introduce himself and elaborate on what presence and connection mean to him. This sets the stage for a group discussion aimed at exploring these themes.
32:00 - 50:00: Q&A Session The chapter titled 'Q&A Session' features a speaker named Peter from Denmark, who has dedicated the last decade of his life to exploring presence and connection. He primarily engages in the practices of circling and surrender leadership. Additionally, Peter has a background in tai chi, which influences his current pursuits. He expresses his reasons for participating in the event, highlighting the significance of 'tulan Pete' as a primary motivation for his presence.
50:00 - 56:00: Closing Remarks and Future Opportunities The chapter 'Closing Remarks and Future Opportunities' recounts an experience the speaker had when leading a workshop at their house. The speaker acknowledges the challenge of navigating familiar yet new situations, and appreciates being in the position of a participant, finding it eye-opening and resembling the experiences shared by others who may have felt uncertain about participating in workshops they led. This reflective and insightful chapter explores themes of understanding and empathy, as well as the ongoing opportunities for personal and professional growth.

Presence and Connection - Exploring Honesty Europe & Circling Transcription

00:00 - 00:30 so hello everyone again I'm ttor speaking from joani burgundy in France and unfortunately there's no sunlight only gray clouds here inside but I'm happy to see your faces again some people who are here without the camera wants to turn them on so super nice and I will be your facilitator tonight um which means if you have any technical issue
00:30 - 01:00 question whatever you can ask me in the chat I'll try to look for it um on the technical side uh Gan when when you're writing I hear you so maybe when you're not speaking it's nice if you want to everyone Cuts up their microphone then you can open it when you want to to speak there will be in this webinar there will be mostly pet and and Tulia speaking uh most of the time and uh
01:00 - 01:30 there will be also interactive moments where I will invite you to write down in the chat open your mic ask some question share yourself you're very welcome to do that um also this webinar will be recorded uh we will put it on the YouTube channel of honesty Rob like every other webinar and it usually records in a way that it shows only the speakers so if you even if you don't want your face to be seen on the
01:30 - 02:00 recording you can just um close off the video when you want to speak if you don't want that to be seen otherwise it is nice if you want to keep it and we'll try to end it at 7 usually we have it quite on time um yes if you have any other question you're welcome to ask them in the chat uh directly for technicals and
02:00 - 02:30 I will share a bit more about today's webinar um tula and I are doing webinars almost every month um so it's part of an ongoing Series this is the second one of this year and um yeah we like to come up with new topics and um introduce a bit of different size of the practices around radical SD and today we also have Peter who comes here to also introduced uh his
02:30 - 03:00 practice with circling and surrendered leadership um so I'd just like to give the floor to you uh maybe Peter you can start with introducing yourself and like um would be nice to know who you are and also what is your connection what does it mean for you presence and connection which is today's topic hi guys um
03:00 - 03:30 I'm Peter I live in Denmark and the last 10 years of my life has been very much about exploring presence and connection mostly through the practices of circling and surrender leadership but I have a a background in in taii that is also very much with me in this and well I just want to tell you why I'm here because the the main reason I'm here is the tulan Pete
03:30 - 04:00 uh let a workshop in my house in December uh that I participated in um and I was like wow this is surprisingly tricky for me it's like it's known but it's also unknown and I had this like I've LED so many workshops where where people people have told me that oh they don't quite know the rules and it's like tricky to know how to participate it was really lovely to be in that situation myself for a
04:00 - 04:30 change um and I found that there's so much overlap between what we do that it would be really cool to do something together and also so much difference between what we do that I imagine that it will be quite exciting to explore and yeah so that's why I'm here right now and why well why I'm doing this call uh
04:30 - 05:00 is that enough yes thank you very much I'm excited you want to go on Julia yeah so I'm dulia I'm from Finland I'm here in the middle of the woods right now with banks of snow still and um well my story is that presence wasn't a thing in my radar for the first part of my life was just more
05:00 - 05:30 just going marching along performing doing my thing checking out that everybody is doing well kind of a classical people pleaser and then at some point before I turned 40 it's like oh hang on a second who am I where I do how I want to spend my life I'm kind of halfway and then exploring different things um started to study to become a therapist and
05:30 - 06:00 run across radical honesty and some other practices and this was a practice that is really sticking with me since 12 years and why I like it why I found um connection and presence important is I think that when I allow myself to be who I am with the pretty sides and the less pretty sides the ugly shameful uncomfortable sides then I fully show
06:00 - 06:30 myself to others and they can choose to like me or not like me as I am but I don't need to be hiding I don't need to be measuring how I show up what do I say or don't say and then we can create a connection from that place I am who I am and you are invited to be who you are and then we can see what happens in that connection of being real and being in the here and now and the word presence I have come to realize I just told p and tutour that actually to the
06:30 - 07:00 work with honesty Europe is a lot about presence so it's even more about presence than honesty actually because when I'm just here and allowing everything to emerge that happens in me and allowing everything to happen between us that's like already a lot and that's like the main thing and that's about being honest actually I'm just showing up I'm open to what is happening in me what is happening between us
07:00 - 07:30 and I found that beautiful and important in life that I don't need to rush anywhere I can just be here and explore what happens in my body what happens in my mind what happens in my emotions thank you could I ask a question uh there will be a space for question later or maybe that you could be a time for you when it's yeah and um
07:30 - 08:00 yeah thank you Tula for introducing yourself with Peter I put in the chat right now that also in the continuation on this webinar if you wish to use the chat you can also share your name where attending from and also similar to Peter and Tulia how do you connect with the word presence and connection what do they mean to you and we're going to move on to a little demonstration um
08:00 - 08:30 because we have like now this um Synergy with uh tula and Peter who are here with different background different practices and um I I asked them before we were when we were preparing this webinar to do some kind of a demonstration something like what does it look like um when um uh you use your methods and of circling and rather hesty
08:30 - 09:00 at the same time so Peter Anda would you be up to showing us like in a in a few minutes um how you do that what does it look like and at the same time I will also ask you something else the people in the chat if you feel inspired to do so there's two questions uh which are like what do you see tul and pit doing and is there something interesting or inspiring happening for you so kind of like sharing your yourself uh at the
09:00 - 09:30 same time when you're observing what they do ready Peter and Tula M okay I give you the floor I notice my hands touching my face and I notice my butt against the seat and I know this kind of a smile coming to my face when I look at you Peter
09:30 - 10:00 I think what's most present for me is is the experience of being watched by a lot of people and wanting to do well it's like it's a very sort of known place of like I want all of these people to like me and it's a bit anxiety inducing to to not be in dialogue I really wanted to hear what Johannes had to say before just to have the the two ways
10:00 - 10:30 yeah said there's something with being watched and when I'm more with you Tulia I'm bit more of a blankness like I think I like wanting to know where you are right now what's this like for you yeah I noce S is ongoingly smiling somehow
10:30 - 11:00 I would say happy and present and curious and I appreciate you for saying that there's some like um I don't remember did you use the word nervousness and being watched and I often feel uncomfortable in this kind of situations and at the moment I'm actually somehow enjoying it and I found it weird notice I'm touching my face yeah and a bit embarrassing to admit
11:00 - 11:30 that I'm enjoying being in front of people and talking about me I chest a lot I think that's like there's like anxiety or not being able to breathe fully right now you're wanting to slow down a bit I think
11:30 - 12:00 yeah notice that was quite nice for me when I actually look around at all the faces I feel more joy so curiosity towards all of you actually there's some kind of like wanting to I feel a bit stuck in this format of of demoing with you Julia and not
12:00 - 12:30 being able to yeah say hi to [Music] everyone well I imagine you are allowed to say hi to everyone and I hear you that that's a bit weird and I I see the lights behind you I I enjoy seeing them and I remember being in that room myself that's yeah I feel joyful about that and imagining being there again as
12:30 - 13:00 well and now I'm wondering if to wants to has to shut up and cut this off and doesn't find a h like a nice way to do it thank you yeah I really appreciate watching you and hearing you doing this little demonstration I feel very light right now and um also um I see there's lots of people
13:00 - 13:30 writing in the chat I like that too and maybe to take like a bit of a big picture on what happened um how would you you describe Peter and Tulia your way of being present in this moment in this demonstration um what would you say about that is there nothing you something you would wish to
13:30 - 14:00 share I think my commitment in this practice is to really staying with what is so what am I experiencing and can I can I trust that and bring it into connection and often that requires a bit of a slowing down and like what am I really experiencing now and there's typically layers of it and I think we well my experience right now is like getting through couple of them but
14:00 - 14:30 there's plenty more to to explore there so there's always a depth in what's actually happening in the moment yeah but trusting trusting what is happening is really Central for me what the
14:30 - 15:00 toia um for me it starts with noticing Sensations in my body so noticing those and kind of somehow relaxing into that noticing and then kind of noticing what emotional states I have when I was looking at Peter and allowing kind of uh to verbalize the feeling joyful
15:00 - 15:30 and curious yeah and yeah enjoying hearing you Peter and noticing that uh it's easy easier for me to kind of share and be in the contact knowing your room your house knowing you uh somewhat so I had also thoughts that if I had to if I was doing this with someone I don't know at all most likely
15:30 - 16:00 I would be a bit more reserved thank you I I'm I'm really also glad to to see so many people sharing their own experience in the chat and I wonder if there's one or two people who would like to share with us by with opening the mic and just sharing with us how it was for you to watch it or what is your EXP experience right
16:00 - 16:30 now and if you wish to you can just open your mic share it with us hello I'm Scott um hello Tulia hello humans hello [Music] um I actually have I have quite a bit of experience with radic honesty but in noticing this demo uh there's a thought that came to my mind that I actually just dropped it in the chat but I want
16:30 - 17:00 I'm practically going to read it which is I noticed that the demo in doing it like everything slows down and my question is is that is radical honesty do you think of it as always like that or is there radical honesty that's at normal conversation speed or even faster or is radical honesty a practice that's meant to be kind of intentionally meditative and not for normal
17:00 - 17:30 conversation nice Scott I I have a proposal for you that we we live it right now as like your own experience of things going slow and we see in the in the question and answer space if like you we have an answer for you is that good got it perfect nice yeah so we'll just leave it as a noticing that's what I noticed yeah thank you there's somebody else who wants to
17:30 - 18:00 share I'd like to share um first I'd like to thank Peter and Tulia for [Music] um for their sharing and noticing and speaking their experience
18:00 - 18:30 um and I felt really excited by um uh listening to their words and seeing their expression and it felt so alive and and that really it excited me it there like my body came to life watching it and I felt a w of gratitude uh by being present in my body
18:30 - 19:00 and being present Watching You the YouTube uh share this thank you very much I'd like to propose a little little experiment for for all of us and um I invite uh all of you who want to close your
19:00 - 19:30 eyes and start tuning in your body a little bit and just start noticing your body what are your different bodily Sensations maybe some of you sit on a chair see if you can notice the sensations around your butt do you notice the sensation around your
19:30 - 20:00 feet around your neck your face and just around your body in general see what you can notice in your body
20:00 - 20:30 and think about how it is to be yourself right now and when you're ready I invite you to open your eyes
20:30 - 21:00 again and look at the screen of your computer and see the the people you can look at them on your screen and while you're looking at the people notice how it feels to do so and I would like to open the floor
21:00 - 21:30 for maybe two or three people just to share with us how does it feel to be themselves right now to look at the people or whatever you're experiencing
21:30 - 22:00 one thing I notice is just how different it is to look at the different pictures of people that like each of you seems to have a very unique impact on me and yeah I won't go into describing all the the nuances of it but just that there are nuances I find that quite well right now I find it quite beautiful actually seeing that there's
22:00 - 22:30 so many new nuances of relating or connection here I think for me the big difference is that when I'm eyes closed it's really this world here my Sensations and my
22:30 - 23:00 thoughts mainly I noticed some thoughts I let them go I noticed different Sensations especially my hands and my legs and then opening my eyes it was just like oh there's this whole world out there and all these different colors and faces and so much more stimuli and input and I didn't all of a sudden notice my body anymore so much because I was just like with this visual input which is pleasant and just very
23:00 - 23:30 friend thank you anyone else wants to share I notice when I close my eyes I immediately become aware of my skin all over my body and just the like the physical coldness of air and light there's no
23:30 - 24:00 Breeze here but just the atmosphere and then when I open my eyes again I retain that a little bit but it the volume goes down as I start focusing outside at other people at the screen thank
24:00 - 24:30 you I feel myself very slow so I relax right now after hearing you somehow I like to hear a bit more from you um tulan and Peter um like right now we heard a lot of different experiences and we've seen like this thing of like going into the self noticing a lot and uh talking from experience trusting
24:30 - 25:00 I would like to ask you the question like what are the the three things or the most important things you judge that we could do in everyday life to build more presence and connection and I leave it to you to decide who we can start answering that maybe we can go a bit back and forth uh yeah the the first thing that
25:00 - 25:30 comes up for me and it's maybe an answer to your question Scott it's like slowing down seems to be really important it's like if I'm in uh sort of focused uh active mind space it's very hard for me to notice all the stuff that actually that's actually going on for me it does seem to require a slowing down not necessarily a talking slower but
25:30 - 26:00 like an inner slowing down that opens for I would call it a deeper listening and I well at least for me it seems to require that I do think we can listen without having to sort of force ourselves to slow down it's like can I can I drop a bit of my sort of uh everyday activity presence that seems to help me to to become more
26:00 - 26:30 sensitive to what towards what is around me I would say something similar and from a little bit different point of view so for me it's around noticing and slowing down can help there or just focus so I can notice the sensations in my body that kind of immediately at least for me brings me more into the Present Moment In The Presence whatever there is in my body I
26:30 - 27:00 don't need to evaluate if it's good or bad or just notice my butt on the seat my hands slightly sweaty and then yeah notice in other things so I notice whatever visual there is and then I notice whatever thoughts I have and just kind of notice them as thoughts not as the truth or the reality it's like a like I had a flashlight like Sensations out outside and then inside
27:00 - 27:30 in my head and just keep noticing all of that as what is rather than as interpreting it too much and now I TR the ball back to you Peter yeah well what what's in me right now is just how it was after this exercise we just did and it was like how much can I welcome myself
27:30 - 28:00 so and you can you can all check that right now like do you have a sense of really welcoming yourself in your experience this moment like am I allowing myself to really be with the fullness of my experience which is usually highly complex like there's a bit of anxiety there's some kind of Joy that's also present and there's all this all wants or needs of like still wanting all of
28:00 - 28:30 you to like me that's that's there in the background and so like and I welcome all of these parts that are that are there uh and and trust that they they're there for a reason rather than sort of prioritizing one which for me would usually be like the professional cool skilled competent Peter uh that I want to show up as but like there's lots of other things going
28:30 - 29:00 on can I can I trust that as well yeah I I like what you said and from there I would I would continue that um also allowing and noticing the shifts Within Me So how my emotional states do shift how my Sensations shift how like a lot in me just like allowing
29:00 - 29:30 things to come and go not kind of blocking or stopping or noticing if I want to block or stop something or not experience something and then notice the discomfort maybe of having an experience or a thought or a sensation or emotion that I don't particularly like but that kind of yeah I am a very Dynamic being we all are and just kind of acknowledging that and also for me there's a lot
29:30 - 30:00 of um what's the word I I really like it that I know even with those very intense emotions or intense thoughts they do just come and go it's not a big deal so then I'm learning take myself a bit more lightly a bit less serious yeah it's just a sensation in my body it's just an emotion it does come and go it's just a thought yeah and I smiling yeah I I like what you're saying and and
30:00 - 30:30 it's it's like a paradox because I don't want to take it too seriously and I want to take it deeply seriously that I'm having these experiences and and that there's an impact on me from the world and from being with you guys right now so I don't want to throw that away uh I actually want to experience it more and and yeah I was sitting with that point of like owing impact more as
30:30 - 31:00 as you were speaking and just something that's been really important in my life is starting to notice all the times I actually feel a bit hurt because I I used to live in a way where I just over write all of that because I can take care of myself and and these days I'm more like no it actually hurts when people speak to me in particular ways and I don't want that in my life um of course I can't always change it but I can notice
31:00 - 31:30 that it's happening and that there's actually yeah impact in me and rather than sort of packing that down in my in my body and keeping it to myself I can be with it sometimes even say it out loud and often that impact is really beautiful it's like noticing that someone else is seem to be sad while they're speaking and then it's like oh just seems like like you're sad is is that true and then
31:30 - 32:00 suddenly there's an opening for a completely different kind of meeting than um yeah then what was there before thank you very much for for sharing that with us like there I think there was much being said really uh on like the slowing down I think after this what we went through it was like so nice to to so um hear you saying that slowing down
32:00 - 32:30 is a good way of actually being more present also allowing for more noticing What's Happening Here and Now and also giving space to all of the different parts uh and at the same time like the emotions that come and go and uh letting them be acknowledging them accepting there I think Al all a lot of what you both said was a lot about also accepting what the experience is and not trying to
32:30 - 33:00 like deny something but instead expressing it or sharing it or letting it be and um I think right now we could already opened the space for some questions and some more interactions one one important addition to tour yes that I was actually thinking when I heard the word hurt for me very important point is owning my heard SL anger for me is often
33:00 - 33:30 like upset so ah I didn't like that and just yeah I do sometimes feel angry and it's not a big deal it's actually healthy it's normal it's setting boundaries it's kind of communicating that I didn't like something and it's a sensation in my body now I already feel my face being warm so kind of allowing the anger acknowledging it and then having a healthy way of expressing it which is not about blame and shame but just full ownership and staying in connection and that's big part of my practice whatever I share that I choose
33:30 - 34:00 to stay in connection and I choose to own it my experience my emotion uh my impact in me because nobody can make me feel in certain way it's I'm the creator of everything here and I communicate in order to get over it and move on and stay in connection yes and I imagine it also builds a lot more connection to own the things for me and not put it on the other person I when people do that usually I'm my want to distance myself
34:00 - 34:30 somehow maybe the next webinar is about healthy expression of anger I'm now thinking ah are there some some questions that you would like to to ask I I think you honest you you had a question you feel free to ask it right now or anyone else just open your mic and go for it well uh I don't know if my question this
34:30 - 35:00 johanes was um already answered by by how you did the exercise because it was the question about how does presence equal honesty because I think someone can also I mean it depends how you define presence I guess if you're just an audience then you might not be very present I mean if you're yeah so I was wondering how you would say being present equals on honesty if you could
35:00 - 35:30 put it a bit more into words for me to grasp the idea thank you I I would say that uh one way to look at it is that there's three levels of honesty one is that I'm honest about the past so my hurts my upsets my unfinished stuff the secrets I'm keeping whatever I I didn't deal with someone and is still alive in me and then there's the honesty about the Here and Now what is my current experience how I'm feeling what do I notice what
35:30 - 36:00 thoughts I have ongoingly and whether I share it out loud or not I'm I'm kind of acknowledging it to myself and sometimes it's important to share and sometimes it's not it just kind of comes and goes and then the third level for me would be like the honesty about my desires my wishes the future I want to create so kind of looking forward kind of honesty about what I'm truly about in this world what I want to contribute towards which is kind of a bit Grand language but that's I like it and and and I see it
36:00 - 36:30 also like dealing with the first step which is or the first part which is honestly about the past and clearing it and and expressing whenever expression is needed then there is more space in the here for the here and now and for the owning the the desires the wishes and looking towards the future so so that's that's how I see it thank
36:30 - 37:00 you thank you for this question Maria you want to go yes please um I have a question about um uh how can one be present um on like a stage and uh when you have to like perform a task or like do a presentation because now we're we're talking about
37:00 - 37:30 the sensations and how you feel and what's happening in the body but when you're there for a certain thing to do how can yeah how can you be present and and and connect to the audience without really going off topic what do you think Peter or
37:30 - 38:00 toia I I think for me when I am on stage I've been teaching for the last couple of weeks um there's such a big difference between s of performing on stage like I'm pretending to be better than I am in some way and then I would call it like just showing up it's like yeah I'm I'm here I'm a I'm a human like you and I'm pretty good at this stuff that we're
38:00 - 38:30 going to to work with and I'm definitely not perfect at it and I'm yeah I want to be treated as a human also when I am on stage I don't know what stages you're talking about specifically uh of course in some cases you are maybe meant to perform as a superhuman of some kind but in most of the stages that I get on it's more like no I'm I'm I'm I want to bring my whole self into into the space so that's
38:30 - 39:00 that would be the presing presencing process for me yeah if that makes does that make sense yes yes I think you're opening uh yes and setting a sort of a standard for how you want to be treated and how you treat yourself and therefore everything else that follows is already like
39:00 - 39:30 prepared it sounds like yeah I think for me it's like I I don't use the word honesty so much because I'm mostly connected to what Tulia called honesty in the past or about the past and most of my work is more I I would talk about truth like can I show up truthfully in this moment and it's more like what's it actually like for me to be here [Music]
39:30 - 40:00 and then trusting that well it's actually good for others to to see where I am and where I'm coming from even even if it's a professional setting it's yeah probably better that people know that I'm coming into this presentation and I'm tired and and worn and that's where I am and I'm still going to be here with you and and do my best to communicate what it is that you paid me for but that's that's
40:00 - 40:30 where I am yeah because it will be felt no matter what it's like I I I I deeply believe that everything registers like so in some way we are connected and that's where connection and presence becomes a bit weird to talk about because we are present and we are connected already and the only question is like can we make that conscious yeah and when it's made conscious it
40:30 - 41:00 seems to be a relief for at least for me and it seems for most people I was like oh yeah you're angry with me oh yeah I kind of knew that and now it makes sense that I'm feeling a bit contracted I it's like oh that presenter doesn't seem to really be feeling good and when they say it it's like ah they're not feeling very well that's that's really nice to know yeah it's congruent exactly yeah and you you asked me before
41:00 - 41:30 what kind of stage do I have in mind but it already happened when I was sharing before because I was answering the question and I was trying to do a good job and um I was also wanting to be like to take up more space and being vulnerable but by doing it like a performance I wasn't really vulnerable so after I ended it I felt
41:30 - 42:00 like I wasn't present at all yeah and now I'm conscious of taking too much time I like your Shar Maria and adding to what Peter said my like straightforward words would be that people do smell so if there's something that is there and I'm not saying it they they do smell it they do somehow notice there something often
42:00 - 42:30 when I'm listening to someone who just say oh I feel nervous I'm like ah I just relax or if I allow myself to say yeah I have sweaty hands I'm I'm not quite sure what to do here or what to say just kind of just relaxes me into being there and I I I think it's a Pity that there's so many circles where somehow that's sign of weakness rather than sign of strength and realness
42:30 - 43:00 yeah thank you uh I I really side I I really this this talk we're having right now because also Maria you said like stage in mind somehow and the first what I had like the stages are so much our own creation most of the time because there's really like often I I think I'm just putting myself there or I'm building this expectations or this fear that I'm off topic or this
43:00 - 43:30 fear that uh I will be rejected if I don't fit expectations of doing things properly and I find it so somehow funny and also saddening inside that there's also some kind like even in this context where for instance I'm facilitating webinar and sometime I'm like oh yeah maybe is it good I say like welcome to everyone or thank you blah BL blah and sometime maybe I'm I'm also I think sometimes like oh yeah do I try to fit
43:30 - 44:00 the role or is it super genine and sometimes for me it's also not so clear what what is really happening I'm trying to stay conscious of that um but I I just realized like it's really uh a big big question for me how much I create these roles for myself and I try to match the expectation that I created but nobody really asked them or even when it's also the expectation
44:00 - 44:30 of being vulnerable and I yeah it's kind of ironic in the end very [Music] relatable anybody wants to open another topic or has another question well Scott had you had the question about the speed and I would like to say a few words about that so uh
44:30 - 45:00 my natural speed is actually quite fast and I depending who is facilitating A J rack honest is uh more of a speedy practice and I noce I was slowing down when Peter was slowing down so I think it was something that happened here in the connection and my natural way of being in the world is quite like fast sometimes it can be all sorts of nervousness or my impatience to get done so I think there is uh there is
45:00 - 45:30 some difference there and I do think that sometimes it's really important to slow down pause notice the body and then that can more facilitate and allow these Sensations to come and go and actually really notice what's going on when things are somehow tricky especially that that's how I see this speed
45:30 - 46:00 thing thank you I see for me if if there's any as soon as I run into a problem or something I perceive as a problem slowing down is the is a really good idea if I speed up when I run into a problem or a conflict then usually it's it doesn't go very well for me like typically need to take some of the charge out of the situation and okay
46:00 - 46:30 what's actually happening go back to my body then usually there's better communication coming from there you're probably can all recognize that from being triggered and then it's like everything speeds up and becomes more charged and more blame me and then sometimes it's like we can oh but if I take out a little bit of the charge and you take out a little bit of
46:30 - 47:00 the charge then suddenly we start meeting again and it's like oh okay maybe we're not in a conflict anymore maybe it's more like yeah we're seeing each other and I think the only time sorry go ahead I just want to say I agree I love that thank you um especially when you know conflict or things right you know to to slow down is is a is a great is
47:00 - 47:30 something I definitely do as well um I also notice myself when I when I do that or sometimes when I'm on calls like this in certain situations I kind of go into a Zen monk performance and when I notice myself doing that I feel I feel self-conscious I'm like why am I doing this like why am I acting so pi and and I imagine I I I imagine I desire
47:30 - 48:00 to be and I love your word truthful more than honesty I desire I long to be more truthful in like like the way a child is just a little rambunctious a little you know just present and connected and aware of everything touching smell you know everything but in a way that's more up energy I I have a longing for that I notice and I I feel my heart when I say
48:00 - 48:30 that deeply touching yeah I notice yeah I'm just noticing my Sensations and reactions right now and how dear that is to me life for
48:30 - 49:00 me it's like to move into life that's yeah thank you I want to move into life not away from it doesn't have to be speed but I want to move like up energy and joy in my truthfulness not always but thank you all for your everything you said about this
49:00 - 49:30 subject I appreciate you for showing yourself in this way Scott I like witnessing that too thank you for saying that I enjoy myself showing myself like this I was thinking that the only time where slowing down might not work in my experience is when people slow down and they get very heady so they actually
49:30 - 50:00 don't relax into the body into the experience but they just stay in the thought level and then sometimes I coach people to actually just Express something and then notice in the body and sometimes that can start to move to real noticing rather than they think they're slowing down but actually they're just focusing here so so that's the only time where I would actually want some speed so something can move and shift and different kind of awareness can come
50:00 - 50:30 up yeah thank you very much I'm also very moved by this conversation and I want to slow down myself I wish we could extend a bit this webinar and share so much more and I was just also checking the time and I think I want to go slowly to or slowly or not so slowly to the end of it um there was a question in the chat
50:30 - 51:00 at some point from SUV and S was asking what are the small ways to practice honesty and presence in everyday life and I think we've covered really many of them I think we've been saying slowing down so many times in this call I think if I were to keep one this would be the the only one and we've been talking also a lot about trusting noticing the experience staying with what is alive um voicing out things
51:00 - 51:30 allowing ourselves um yeah staying with the discomfort uh letting the emotion pass and go I think there were there were many things we've also been experiencing and sharing with each other so to close a bit this this webinar um first I'd like to say many thanks to you and Julia for what you shared with us and um um yeah I feel I
51:30 - 52:00 feel so light now and rest restful is that the word like wanting to yeah be with myself observe myself more and really happy also for our connection and like the whole work we did for preparing it and um yeah really glad we we organized this together and I would just like to give the flow once more to you to share a bit with the whole group like what's beyond
52:00 - 52:30 this webinar so how can people try it out experience it be supported with you in being present and connected um so yeah would you like to say a word about like how people can reach out to you what you're offering and maybe some specifics about the event that you're creating the two of you yeah yeah I think it goes directly I I saw Lisa your comment would be nice to
52:30 - 53:00 have a whole weekend with this well there is a chance for that so we have the honesty and circling Retreat over Easter in April so that's uh create space where we explore these two practices and be very curious what all shows up when we approach things from different angles with different formats but more so with different ways of sharing being connecting also not connecting when that
53:00 - 53:30 is what is happening there and allowing that experience to so that's something cool that uh me and Peter and Pete are offering and then there is the other thing which is the honesty Gathering our annual big uh event where there's several workshops at the same time um it's by a lake near Berlin it's in September so Peter is first time joining us and offering uh sessions there so you
53:30 - 54:00 can try out different honesty practices also uh circling practices and a lot more so I think uh toour will uh post the links and also you'll get a followup letter so you'll get the links there so there's two great opportunities at least to see kind of this combin combined uh Magic nice what what else would be right to
54:00 - 54:30 say about that Peter I want to exite everyone I have a motivation well I I think for me it's like I there there's something very interesting for me in in the combination of these practices because as I started saying they're quite similar but there's also I noticed it even in this call that you seem to come at the same thing from slightly different
54:30 - 55:00 angles and and I imagine that like on this Retreat that we're doing we will also get to uh challenge each other in in different ways on on how we lead and how we show up in this not a quite rare situation for me U to to have that sort of I don't know what to call it discussion with other leaders live with participants so that feels really exciting for me uh and I imagine it will
55:00 - 55:30 be quite quite special actually yeah great I hope everyone is [Laughter] excited [Music] um okay I think that's about the end um just a quick word about the webinars in general um there will be more webinars
55:30 - 56:00 in the future organized by Honest Europe I will be facilitating some of them and uh I think I will write to you in the followup email what are the dates for the next one is going to be in May maybe like second week of May I think Tulia we have to look it up together and um let's see what is going to be the topic I think you had a topic proposal before I forgot it already but we'll talk about
56:00 - 56:30 that and uh you will hear about that so thank you very much everyone for attending stay in touch with us I also shared you all the links in the chat there's a Facebook group you can join and um yeah I hope you stay present to yourself connected to the others tonight and to see you very soon thank you