The Most Dangerous Place For a Woman | Private Violence | Full Documentary - Kurio

Summary

The documentary "Private Violence" sheds light on the grim reality women face with domestic violence. Through compelling narratives, it exposes the systemic failures in aiding victims, emphasizing that leaving an abusive partner is often a dangerous and complex process. Victims are frequently blamed, questioned about their choices, and left vulnerable even after seeking help. The film follows multiple stories, highlighting both the courage of survivors and the inadequacies in law enforcement and judicial systems to protect them effectively. This gripping documentary confronts viewers with the harsh truths that many women experience behind closed doors.

Highlights

• A key theme is that abuse isn't just physical; it's emotional and psychological, with abusers using subtle tactics to manipulate and control. 🧠
• Survivors often face a barrage of questions doubting their choices, magnifying their feelings of guilt and shame. 😰
• The documentary reveals systemic failures, showing that restraining orders and law enforcement often fall short in providing safety. 🚫
• Deanna's story illustrates the extreme danger victims face even when they attempt to escape. 😱
• Legal processes can be slow and inadequate, with victims having to relive trauma while being questioned in court. ⏳

Key Takeaways

• Domestic abuse is more than physical violence; it includes emotional and psychological control. 💔
• Survivors often face skepticism and judgment when they seek help, adding to their trauma. 😞
• Legal systems often fail to provide adequate protection or justice to victims. ⚖️
• Leaving an abusive relationship is a complex process, not a singular event. 🔄
• Advocates play a crucial role in supporting and empowering survivors. 🤝

Overview

"Private Violence" delves deep into the lives of women trapped in abusive relationships, offering a raw and unfiltered glimpse of their daily struggles. The film highlights how abusers use more than just physical force to instill fear, often employing psychological warfare that leaves lasting scars. This dimension of abuse is vividly portrayed through the stories of brave women who share their harrowing experiences.

The documentary doesn't shy away from critiquing the legal system. It paints a stark picture of the hurdles victims face when seeking justice or protection from their abusers. From inadequate restraining orders to disheartening court encounters, the documentary underscores how systemic failures contribute to victim's ongoing trauma. Viewers witness the emotional burden placed on survivors as they fight for their safety and dignity.

Through the courageous stories of survivors like Deanna, "Private Violence" drives home the point that leaving is a process, not a one-time event. The film calls attention to the vital role of advocates who support and help rebuild the lives of those affected by domestic violence. It challenges society to rethink how we understand and address the pervasive issue of intimate partner violence.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 03:00: Introduction to the Documentary The chapter titled 'Introduction to the Documentary' involves a conversation possibly related to a criminal investigation, including individuals such as detective Purvis and a person named Candy. The discussion touches on the issuance of warrants and mentioned a shelter's location, indicating an unfolding legal or safety matter.
• 03:00 - 08:00: Case of Candy and Shelter Involvement The chapter discusses a situation involving Candy, who feels trapped and scared in a relationship with someone who appears to be controlling and potentially abusive. Candy admits to feeling forced to comply with the person's demands out of fear that they might hurt her if she does not. This highlights the complexity and seriousness of relationships involving coercion and fear.
• 08:00 - 12:00: Restraining Orders and Its Challenges The speaker receives a text message from someone indicating they are on their way to a specific location. The speaker seems conflicted about involving the law but expresses a desire for the person to leave them alone. There is mention of a phone call to a person named Ed to address the situation. The chapter highlights the emotional and legal challenges faced by individuals dealing with restraining orders.
• 12:00 - 15:00: Hostage Negotiation Insights The chapter 'Hostage Negotiation Insights' discusses various aspects of dealing with hostage situations. The main focus is on the strategic interventions by law enforcement to put a stop to abusive scenarios. It highlights a specific case at a shelter where an abuser persistently contacts a resident through her cell phone. The resident considers responding to the abuser's messages to ascertain his location in order to inform the Pittsburgh Police Department about his whereabouts. There is a query raised on whether this action could be considered entrapment.
• 15:00 - 18:00: Legal System and Domestic Violence This chapter deals with the intricacies of the legal system in the context of domestic violence. It highlights how communication and documentation can play a crucial role in legal proceedings.
• 18:00 - 23:00: Personal Stories and Experiences The chapter titled 'Personal Stories and Experiences' seems to revolve around a tense situation involving police presence. The narrative suggests that there are several personal interactions, possibly related to a police investigation or a similar emergency. It features real-time communication using texts among individuals, discussing police activity and questioning whether someone was responsible for the situation ('did you do this?'). The brief mention of 'license check' might indicate a part of the events taking place during a traffic stop or related legal procedure. The chapter captures a suspenseful or critical moment as experienced or related by those involved.
• 23:00 - 28:00: The Case of Deanna and Her Abuser The chapter titled 'The Case of Deanna and Her Abuser' involves a brief transcript. It seems to capture a conversation about someone checking a license and being on their way to Al's Diner, with an expected arrival in five minutes. The context and characters involved imply a scenario unfolding related to Deanna and her abuser, but the limited transcript doesn't provide detailed insights into the case.
• 28:00 - 32:00: Long-term Impact and Recovery The chapter titled 'Long-term Impact and Recovery' includes a conversation emphasizing vigilance and documentation of events. It suggests that despite feelings of guilt or blame, the choices and actions of the individual in question are their own responsibility.
• 32:00 - 38:00: Trials and Legal Proceedings The chapter 'Trials and Legal Proceedings' opens with a moment of confession where an individual admits to making a crucial phone call. This revelation sets the stage for a deeper exploration into the legal ramifications and the ensuing trial. The narrative reflects on the individual's motivations, the context of the call, and its impacts. As the story progresses, courtroom scenes unfold where testimonies and legal strategies are depicted, highlighting the complexities of the legal system. Amidst moments of tension and suspense, the chapter delves into the emotional and ethical dilemmas faced by the characters. This chapter not only advances the plot but also serves as a commentary on justice and responsibility.
• 38:00 - 43:00: Community and Advocacy Efforts The chapter discusses the proximity of various locations to a shelter, such as being right next door or a short walk away. There is also a mention of verifying someone's location within that context.
• 43:00 - 46:00: Reflections and Moving Forward In this chapter, the mood is one of gratitude and relief. The speaker expresses thankfulness repeatedly, possibly in reaction to a satisfactory conclusion of a troubling situation. Someone named Ian is mentioned positively, suggesting he played a crucial role. There is also a mention of a concern about someone's bond being set high enough, hinting at legal or justice system interactions. Overall, the chapter closes on a hopeful note of moving forward after addressing a significant issue.

The Most Dangerous Place For a Woman | Private Violence | Full Documentary - Kurio Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 foreign to find out I believe it was detective Purvis that came out and spoke with candy I was wondering if you knew whether there had been any warrants issued no he knows where the shelter is here he told her I know where the shelter is I
• 00:30 - 01:00 know how to find I know where to find you you know this is pretty serious even though I choose to be around him when I shouldn't and I know that I shouldn't but it's only because of the fact that I'm scared and I feel like if I don't do anything he asked of me like come when he calls or stop everything I'm doing just to be there that he would hurt me
• 01:00 - 01:30 [Music] so what tell me what just happened he texted me saying he's on his way to collapse Car Wash here here all right I'm gonna call Ed right now and tell him okay okay are you okay with that so-so I guess I don't want to involve the law but he just needs to leave me
• 01:30 - 02:00 alone you understand that that's not going to happen unless the law enforcement intervened it makes it stop okay buddy I have a question for you um one of one of the residents at the shelter her abuser keeps uh calling her on her cell phone Gene was going to text him back and say where are you and then called they called the Pittsburgh PD and say Here's where he says he is is that some kind of entrapment
• 02:00 - 02:30 it's not a Travis how do I text him back and say where you at where are you at okay good let's see how long it takes oh oh here we go and he just left Elizabeth's Pizza all right hey he just texted her and said he just left Elizabeth's Pizza do you want to text him back and say I
• 02:30 - 03:00 will meet you at claps in five minutes he's texting him now police everywhere he said police is everywhere that's what he so swore me did you do this he just texted her and said swarm me did you do this did they get him that's what he he license check oh he he was in a
• 03:00 - 03:30 license check should it should be an assistant on my way to Al's Diner she's on his way down he says on my way to Isles diners tell him be there in fights you text be there in five minutes okay
• 03:30 - 04:00 all right all right bye are they gonna go get him yeah he said just be vigilant and keep documenting laughs it's not your fault your fault his choices and the things that he did
• 04:00 - 04:30 causes okay I did it I made the call I did it okay [Music] this is it hello hey
• 04:30 - 05:00 right next door to not right up from the shelter yeah that's a half walk from here it thinks that's where he's at check to see where she is
• 05:00 - 05:30 thank you [Music] whoa yes oh yeah oh thank you Ian you sure they got him oh thank you thank you thank you thank you I hope they said his bond high enough to where he can't get out because he he is going to be one pissed off thanks
• 05:30 - 06:00 [Music] it's okay [Music]
• 06:00 - 06:30 [Music] this is so hard yes it's hard it's very hard I feel like it's my fault it's not your fault it is not your fault you didn't make him who he is if it wasn't you would be somebody else
• 06:30 - 07:00 he traveled to talk to him Mr funded 90.7 wfae and 90.3 WFA gem Mike Collins are talking about domestic violence kit gravel is also a Survivor she has worked with California post that State's effort to train Law Enforcement Officers to deal with domestic violence and she is known nationally as an advocate and a community educator on this topic and you brought a stack of files here these are all restraining orders from one year in North Carolina now these are not all the
• 07:00 - 07:30 restraining orders that were issued there's probably 45 or 50 orders here and every single one of the women who went to obtain the these orders of protection was murdered and precisely the ways that they said they were going to be so so you know I sometimes refer to restraining orders as a last will and testament because you know battered women are the experts in what's happening in their relationship and we need Society we need to treat them like the experts that they are when she says he's going to kill me or he's going to
• 07:30 - 08:00 kill my family or he's going to kill my cousin and if he can't get to me we have got to step on the brakes and slow down and take that whole thing seriously and then when there's a restraining order violation our judicial officials have to understand that he is showing contempt for the court system and he truly is a risk to her and to to the community at large if you're not being hit if you're not being threatened with a knife or some kind of a weapon if it's just words if it's intimidation if it is
• 08:00 - 08:30 belittling how do you recognize it how do others recognize it how do you then get others to say to help you stop it when I do the hostage negotiations class this is one of the ones that I bring up with the negoti to go my late husband freak about food intake he was trying to gain muscle weight so he wanted a lot of protein calories and uh and so every night before he went out he wanted a bowl of ice cream and on the ice cream
• 08:30 - 09:00 he wanted peanuts because peanuts are so high in protein so when I went to the grocery store I had to buy salted peanuts put them in a colander rinse them off and Pat them dry and put the rinsed off peanuts on the ice cream and while he was eating his ice cream if he came across salt on the peanuts he would beat me up because he said I didn't do a good enough job washing the peanuts so when I go out and do the negotiations class I say to these cops what happens when you show up on the scene you get her out there in the back of the patrol
• 09:00 - 09:30 car and she's saying to you over and over and over again I should have done a better job washing the peanuts when women say stuff like that it's not because they're crazy it's because of the way they're really living [Music] our Criminal Justice System requires that she be beaten enough to satisfy the
• 09:30 - 10:00 system and by the time it gets to that point she's already been so worn down psychologically and physically and emotionally that's when it's really time for Advocates to really step up and begin to treat her like she has some value because she's been told now systemically that she doesn't you know the courts have told her that she doesn't have value and her Partners told her that she doesn't have value perhaps family and friends have done that through their actions with her and all
• 10:00 - 10:30 of that strips away from her so I think another thing that Advocates do is instead of stripping away we try to build back up [Music] you know a lot of times battered women leave four five six seven eight times and people start to get tired of it they see a woman leave an abuser and then go back it's complicated
• 10:30 - 11:00 leaving an abuser is not an event it's a process and this is where Advocates come in it's not our job to say to her we're going to be your Advocate when you leave the first time when you leave the second time when you leave the third time but on that fourth time we're not working with you anymore that's not how it goes if we're going to be effective Advocates we're going to recognize that each woman's case is unique in each woman's case is special anybody have any experiences with the
• 11:00 - 11:30 boyfriend or the husband you've had that experience it went on for nine years wow I went back I left and went back three times and um this time and this last time he almost killed me in front of my daughter and now I have had 23 seizures and my
• 11:30 - 12:00 daughter has seen every one of them and she takes care of me but what happened to you shouldn't happen to anybody ever and that what do your parents have to say about it why didn't you just leave did he ever threaten to kill you yeah lots of times my mom called the police officers and
• 12:00 - 12:30 one of the officers said that he knew my husband and that he knew he was a violent person but he wasn't violent enough to kill someone they came file charges for the abuse that I went through because it happened in another state and so I'm left did you sleep with it
• 12:30 - 13:00 [Music] foreign [Music] it's very hard Indiana's case to see a woman get so hideously beaten
• 13:00 - 13:30 and then essentially to have the local courts say well you know we're sorry that happened to you but we're really we're just going to let it go we just we just can't let this go something has to be done I do this work because um you know because I survived a really violent relationship you know Jack punched me really hard in the face one time punched me like I was a man and it was the whole thing with you know
• 13:30 - 14:00 doing flips off the porch and you know seeing stars and birdies and and I remember thinking wow this is really like the cartoons and for four days I stayed on the couch with a blanket pulled up over my face because I didn't want the boys to see me because I looked so bad but then I I you know I couldn't eat and I was having a hard time even swallowing stuff so I knew that I needed to get it looked at and Jack drove me down to see um my OB GYN
• 14:00 - 14:30 and he walked in the room and looked at my face and immediately looked away and I just remember feeling sort of a whole new layer of isolation because my doctor wouldn't look me in the eye and say what happened to you all right so I got one on my face or you slapped at me okay so we were we were
• 14:30 - 15:00 going we were going at it think about this but let me see this scare me okay all right that'll work are you okay you want me to do that again more yeah I'm cheating on me well what was that phone number who cares what the phone number was you ain't got no business going through I
• 15:00 - 15:30 don't care if I don't stop it stop it just shut up what I'm all right take a look inside my we uh talked to y'all separately no it's fine you can talk to us together okay sir can I talk to you outside yeah
• 15:30 - 16:00 did you see the way he just looked at me yes ma'am what's up what seems to be going on she starts flipping out she's she's bipolar uh I mean she's got her issues and when she gets that way she gets really physical and everything she's she scratched me he grabbed me by the throat do you have any marks or anything I don't I don't know if I do or not I don't know have you considered
• 16:00 - 16:30 trust staying somewhere over the night seeing if it'll cool down or I don't know I just finished up my getting his statement so maybe it's played safer and just put him up for the night yeah I'll come back in the morning yeah see if we can make heads or tails of this who's lying who's not okay [Music]
• 16:30 - 17:00 as far as the whole uh splitting them up or taking them on a gel I mean what what should have been the call you got injuries on her neck hers are more serious than mine mine looked like they could be defensive marks you're probably walking away from here with me and cuffs at that point since we couldn't establish the primary aggressor we figured we'd err on the side of caution and just split you up for the night how do you how do you feel like they do I think I think you did one thing that that when he was walking out the door the door did to say to you
• 17:00 - 17:30 did you see but but like he could or she could that was not so subtle you know one of the other well I saw you glance back especially it was about a five second stair before I walked out the door basically giving her notice what does he want to do what does this abuser want to do he wants to maintain control over the situation so he's going to have a variety of different tactics that he could that he's going to use some won't be obvious at all some will be things like the look or maybe the way he closes
• 17:30 - 18:00 the door a little bit harder things like that so and these these are things that she'll key off of hill key off of but you know I just ask y'all to keep your eyes and ears open because there could be behaviors like that that will shut her down foreign [Music]
• 18:00 - 18:30 [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] yes how do you feel about telling people about what happened in your case it doesn't bother me too much I feel like it helps
• 18:30 - 19:00 so let's start at the beginning what was it like when you all first started dating for the first two two months he was really sweet and the kind of question what I had done in the past and wanted to know who my friends were and what I'd done with them so and then it started from there and there's is that this is Robbie yes
• 19:00 - 19:30 and that's Martinez first Halloween on Halloween um and he told me that I had to go with him on his chicken trip and I told him no that I had to work and um he said I was gonna go that he wasn't gonna leave me there to time and so he made me go and uh
• 19:30 - 20:00 when we got in Tennessee this when he started beating me he Martinez just she asked him over and over why are you doing it to my why are you hurting my mama and he would tell her if she doesn't love you and she doesn't love me it's okay to hurt Mommy and he would hit me with the flashlight he hit me in the head on the shoulders the
• 20:00 - 20:30 elbows he would hit my knees so hard that I could totally be in my legs and he would um put while he was beating me he would that there was a little mirror about that big on the side of the truck and he would hit me and then he would get me by the hair and pull me up and make me look in that mirror and asked me if it was worth it we stopped at one truck stop to get him some meatballs and Martina said she
• 20:30 - 21:00 wanted some and he said no you can't have some until your mommy tells me the truth and he said and you can tell your mommy to tell me the truth if you want some and so she started crying because she was really hungry and she's told me to tell her Daddy the truth and I told her that I had and she was screaming and begging me please tell Daddy the truth
• 21:00 - 21:30 and that was so hard Robbie got one of them out of the pack and he looked at Martina and he held it in her face and he said look this is going to be so good and he took a bite of it and was going Martina this is so good and just think if your mommy had told me the truth you could had some it was just all I could take and I grabbed the flashlight and I was just gonna be I just I couldn't stand it and I was just
• 21:30 - 22:00 bound and determined I was going to beat him and when he saw me grab the flashlight he dropped the meatballs and when he did um uh grabbed the meatballs and let him beat me with a flashlight and while I fed the opposed to her and I didn't care how hard he hit me as long as she got those balls I didn't care the whole time that I've had those meatballs to her he hit me with that
• 22:00 - 22:30 flashlight and I could feel my knees swelling so hard to hold on to him but I was bound and determined that I was going to in a theater I wasn't gonna let baby stuff because of him he was arrested until when was it November night the charges were just like I saw it on a female you know I just felt like while
• 22:30 - 23:00 waiting for attempt to murder Dan and I had met with that D.A I think a week or two before that and he had told us that she didn't have a very strong case because most of her stuff happened out of state the D.A said that the grand jury would ask Deanna why she left but with her reason for leaving the county with him because at first it was willing you know she they would say she left willingly it was after she left North Carolina that the beating start
• 23:00 - 23:30 so that they would just completely turned back on her and basically he was going to get off on the state level for what had happened to her [Music] I've seen cases like this over and over again where women are severely beaten sometimes shot sometimes stabbed and the
• 23:30 - 24:00 offender is charged with assault on a female or assault with a deadly weapon both charges charged as misdemeanors but we have a law in the books that says that if you steal a bale of pine straw that's a felony despite the fact that we'd like to think that those laws are outdated um the belief systems behind those laws are still very much a part of the way things get played out in court every day across the country [Music]
• 24:00 - 24:30 [Music] so it's kind of busy today it is this is an extremely busy day they're bringing a guy over from jail that's this one is up for restrainingward violation he was arrested for the same incident that she
• 24:30 - 25:00 took out the DVP yes sir um our civil calendar as their inviting so I'm just trying to explain to her what may happen today what do you want to hear about him um I just wanted to stay away from you so it gets out today so I just wanted to
• 25:00 - 25:30 stay away from it do you think it picked up on Friday Thursday March 1st does he have a long history with you or with other women other women and just with her case there were three or four felonies do you have family close by yeah so you feel when you're at home you feel like you're pretty safe no no he's got it all
• 25:30 - 26:00 friends here worry her worries other people to ask because his cousin lives she's the judge now always make sure that he knows all this stuff because this is because there's you know the restraining we're supposed to say no third-party contact too so you know this sounds fairly serious don't be afraid to say anything you know it's it's not your job to fix
• 26:00 - 26:30 broken men tell me about it a lot of us think that it is but it's not [Music] I'm sorry thank you well it's nice to meet you thank you you too all right we're here today to address the matter of a civil restraining order
• 26:30 - 27:00 that would bar you from having any contact what would you like to do would you like a moment to talk to Miss kennebrew all right thank you yes ma'am it was a concern of Miss Morgan's that a third party no
• 27:00 - 27:30 foreign [Music]
• 27:30 - 28:00 [Music] what's up so I want to talk with you a little bit about this case in Ash County involving a woman who was kidnapped pretty severe beating and when you say kidnapped do you mean kidnapped okay held against her will held against a will she and her daughter she and her
• 28:00 - 28:30 daughter taken out of out of the uh out of the state and driven all the way to California and halfway back and the truck was stopped in Oklahoma this was an 18-wheeler and he beat her for four and a half days what kind of injuries did she have holy crap so this is the injuries what do you use uh his fists a Maglite Flashlight uh he bit her
• 28:30 - 29:00 any internal injuries or is it all is it all tissue injury soft tissue injury well he also strangled her okay do we have any medical doctor who's going to say these are serious injuries uh because you know in State Court that's that's the tough part is when we're talking about soft tissue injuries when you don't have damage to the spleen internal injuries or cuts that require stitches
• 29:00 - 29:30 um concussions can be serious injury the local prosecutor called this a misdemeanor assault okay now I would push felony charges probably for kidnapping uh if it's a Maglite a Maglite it's a deadly weapon assault with a deadly weapon inflicting Serious injury it's all about getting a medical doctor to say on the stand yes this is serious injury is it serious bodily injury sure is it
• 29:30 - 30:00 protracted pain and suffering that she has suffered yeah I think so um but even if we succeed on all levels when I'm telling you kid is that you may not be satisfied with the amount of time that they're going to get at the state level if he was convicted only of misdemeanor assault on the female even with doing this yeah what would he be looking at as far as time the most he could receive is 150 days in jail 150 days in jail for this that's it
• 30:00 - 30:30 so that's what I'm saying uh you have a clear case where he's transporting a woman across state lines for the purpose of terrorizing and assaulting her that is a federal case all over and so what we need to do or what you need to do since it's not you know in my county is uh really push and talk to the federal prosecutor in that area in that District which would be the Western District and say this is the case and I and get them interested in it I think they will
• 30:30 - 31:00 be I think they will be yeah [Music] foreign [Music] started that night probably just [Music] pulled up to the hospital in the lower
• 31:00 - 31:30 Park one of the lower parking lots he said if I screened the security guards couldn't hear me and that's where he started [Music] his abuse [Music] I separated from him because he was hitting me and then
• 31:30 - 32:00 he convinced me along with others that he had changed and I wanted to believe it and for my sake from Martina's sake I wanted Martina to have a daddy she missed him let him back into our lives and it was the biggest mistake I ever made my parents are scared for me really
• 32:00 - 32:30 I feel they're scared for me to be with anybody um they don't they're too overprotective now they were then but now it's worse they're afraid Robby's family is Gonna Hurt Me but I don't I don't like feeling like I'm pitied
• 32:30 - 33:00 [Music] since you are the nation's foremost expert on strangulation assaults this looks to me like she was pretty seriously assaulted
• 33:00 - 33:30 okay so um give me a 30 second overview beginning with the fact that she is still living correct she's so uh she and her daughter were kidnapped by her husband he beat her from North Carolina to California the truck was stopped in Oklahoma now he was not arrested by the Oklahoma Police they just told him that he had to find his own way back to North Carolina and that was it I mean tell when you look at Deanna's
• 33:30 - 34:00 photographs as a strangulation expert and what do you see all right well it's bad it's bad one has to immediately go to the petechi eye around her left eye and to a certain extent around her right eye Papi part of her eye the sclera looks
• 34:00 - 34:30 bloody towards the middle part and that even looks more like a sub contractival Hemorrhage so that's the the tiny little capillaries in the pipe part of your eye actually bursting from the Chokehold itself any Emergency Physician would be thinking this year by this triangle and that's in addition to the other elements um now one of the things that she has said to me is that she had a seizure
• 34:30 - 35:00 disorder that was in check until she was assaulted like this if you're cutting off all the blood supply to the brain which is one of the reasons you pass out when you're strangled if you have a seizure disorder it's going to start evidencing its pathology again the there should be a lot less here that
• 35:00 - 35:30 would have even been prosecuted with a third of this pathology a tenth of this pathology um process that I I can't
• 35:30 - 36:00 it's so cool [Music] do you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwich okay
• 36:00 - 36:30 ready okay and wants to cover for Mike it was a miscommunication a [ __ ] miscommunication my ass is what went through my brain but yes ma'am I understand thank you very much I'll see you in court on Thursday I've already called my attorney thank you that's the social worker one I felt [ __ ] home
• 36:30 - 37:00 what brought you back here that one you let me come back home after I had that nervous breakdown that I had last weekend you let me come back home and you believed in me and you believed in me and these girls believed in me and I'm able to stay sane because you're worth it so don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise I refused him good
• 37:00 - 37:30 that's right welcome [Laughter] foreign this case that I'm working on right now involves a woman who killed her abuser after a number of years of real severe domestic violence
• 37:30 - 38:00 what I'm going to do today is go down and meet with her sister and her sister Regina has photographs of what Latina looked like before she got together with her boyfriend during the time that she was with him he punched her in the eyes so many times that she's now blind in her right eye and then I just want to get a sense of what we can all do to try to support Latina she's charging for us to be murder so she's looking at spending the rest of her life in prison
• 38:00 - 38:30 hi [Music] when were these pictures taken eight or nine years ago I made it nine years ago do you mind if I snap pictures of this picture with my phone you've been to see her in jail right so
• 38:30 - 39:00 you see how beautiful she was here and then now her eye looks like it does so she's told me several times that she really loved him a lot um because every time he beat up on it she still went back and let me just asked her why you know you want to go through things like that when she said she love them your mom mentioned to me that she'd gone through a lot of stuff with your dad
• 39:00 - 39:30 my sister she told me that's why she is the way she is right now because my dad used to beat up on my mom all the time that's why she feel like she don't want to leave Woody because she noticed not normal but in her mind it's normal to her you know what I'm saying I kept telling my sister like if you don't leave you're gonna end up killing you you know and it was just shocking to know that you know it happened the other way you know
• 39:30 - 40:00 because I we cried plenty of times on the phone talking about this you know that he's gonna kill her and all that I was hurt you know because you know when things like that happens you know you gotta you gotta survive that's why I cut that business so much yeah she was always gay because he would
• 40:00 - 40:30 always throw that pissed out you know shot at her he done shot at her and my cousin at the same time because my cousin was taking up for her when he was about to beat her up and she said no you're not gonna beat her up in front of me so that you started shooting at them passes the stuff everybody got a pathway this little stuff like this what's your cousin's name and see if he'd have ever been arrested
• 40:30 - 41:00 and gone to jail for what he was doing then maybe that would have given her a break I was thinking that um yeah the one at a time the last time when he beat up like really really bad that he messed up her eye her ribs and all that I think he had a warrant for his arrest for that right right but then he was killed before they ever got a chance to do anything with that yeah right
• 41:00 - 41:30 if you if you can think of anybody else that has like uh um this woman that was with Latina when he shot at him please send me that information so that we just you know I want to make sure that when it's time to go to court that everybody's real clear about how dangerous he was oh yeah so the Harnett County judicial buildings
• 41:30 - 42:00 are coming up on the right hand side the Detention Center is back behind the courthouse and that's where the Tina is where she's been since last the end of last November and I I mean I've worked other cases with women who have killed their abusers and they've told me that they feel safer in prison than they ever felt out in the world with him because he was so predatory and the cords just didn't care
• 42:00 - 42:30 I mean I I can think of all kinds of women that I've talked to and they have told me that once once she killed him and she went to prison that was the first time in years she'd felt safe [Music] in in general when we are thinking about accepting a case one of the things I we
• 42:30 - 43:00 think about one of the things I think about is how am I going to prove this case and if it has to go to trial how am I going to prove the case at trial what are what is my evidence going to be at trial and how will the jury be affected by that evidence I mean the pictures are just they say say it better than any words can the fact that it seemed to be a very good vawa case a violence against women at case the interstate domestic violence
• 43:00 - 43:30 we had the crossing of the state lines um it seemed at like if we didn't do it nobody else was going to because there were a lot of times she didn't know where she was so she didn't know whether a particular assault happened in Oklahoma or New Mexico but we knew that she had been forcibly taken from here so we could prosecute it here and if we didn't prosecute it here it may not have been prosecuted any any place else because we didn't know where the
• 43:30 - 44:00 assaults were taking place so that also made it compelling if we weren't going to do anything then maybe nothing was going to be done and something had to be done [Music] hey there we're just about there we're
• 44:00 - 44:30 like five minutes away all right I'll see in a few minutes bye-bye we're gonna go talk with Deanna about how she's feeling about court and about what it's going to mean to her to be able to take the witness stand um say out loud what Robbie did to her and to Martina [Music] are you nervous about testifying or do
• 44:30 - 45:00 you feel okay about it so what are you doing to prepare yourself myself that I know I can do it and I've got a lot of people backing me up the standards thick file crochet style district attorney said the Ager or defense attorney may ask why she didn't call someone and ask for help they had told her not to pick up a phone
• 45:00 - 45:30 at the truck stop stated that many would argue that she had the chance to get away in Virginia when they stopped at a truck stop for several hours what do you think you'll say when when his defense attorneys try to say things to you like why didn't you try to get away or why didn't you call the police or something like that he's too scared there was lots of things ways running through my mind of how I could get away
• 45:30 - 46:00 but I couldn't do it I was afraid I would wake him up if Martina hadn't made a noise he would instantly woke up and she had coloring books and crayons I thought about tearing the back out of one of the coloring books and writing helped me and sticking it behind the curtain maybe people passing by on the interstate would see it and call the law
• 46:00 - 46:30 and then again I was afraid he would see it and if he did see it he would probably have instantly killed me and I never knew what would happen to Martina there were so many injustices that I felt like happened with her you know Martina wife removed in Oklahoma from Dana and that just that really angered me
• 46:30 - 47:00 what was it like when they came and took Martina it destroyed me it took everything it was the hardest moment in my whole life and how often did you see Martina in the time that she was taken away from you twice a week for an hour [Music]
• 47:00 - 47:30 thank you me back bring me back [Music] where are we going now [Music] I could talk to her on the phone every night what kinds of things did she say to you I wanted to know why I gave her away and that that was hard that was really
• 47:30 - 48:00 hard I would tell her that she was staying with the foster parents so they could protect her [Music] thank you [Music] she still asked me now she's she still asked me why I gave her away so she remembers it yeah
• 48:00 - 48:30 wait up wait up wait up [Music] [Applause] [Music] you don't understand I'm not over y'all coming down there and act like you're gonna testify against me I'm not over that [ __ ] I can't
• 48:30 - 49:00 understand why my daughters would go against me don't ever kiss me you understand what I'm saying [ __ ] go against me no no no no [Music] [ __ ] go kiss me go [ __ ] kiss me you understand what I'm saying yes I can't forget you are my daughters God
• 49:00 - 49:30 damn it I'd never do that to my dad what's wrong with y'all now am I a person that you [ __ ] with I mean seriously I mean look look at me just look at my face is that a [ __ ] that you [ __ ] with is it I'm gonna take care of you who's gonna [ __ ] provide English the son of a [ __ ] that stands
• 49:30 - 50:00 in front of the [ __ ] monster and keeps them cross raping you I get calls from battered women all over the country and emails and this one happens to be from a woman who's married to a doctor a very prominent physician and um they made this tape uh not long after there was a restraining order hearing but the female judge who knew that he was a doctor said just let him come home
• 50:00 - 50:30 your house is big enough for both of you and so it's just so frustrating because we don't know what's going on in these gated communities in these expensive homes until something like this happens so I tore this up I tore this up because I was so angry about it
• 50:30 - 51:00 it's a rough draft of a paper that I turned in recently and the professor wrote a note across the bottom so it made me mad and I tore it up now I'm going to put it back together again kit a very interesting discussion I have two recommendations first you say in the beginning that domestic violence quote touches all socioeconomic groups I am not an expert in this field but my impression is that domestic violence is
• 51:00 - 51:30 more common among poor less educated people most middle class persons such as doctors lawyers and professors Etc do not beat their wives and children nice nice but I'm going to save this because this is a reminder to me that we have a long long long way to go
• 51:30 - 52:00 this was my favorite photo of Martina it did have Robbie in it and of course I cut it out just her now
• 52:00 - 52:30 very soccer practice Halloween 100
• 52:30 - 53:00 [Music] Halloween of 2008. Deanna and her husband were separated there had been a domestic violence incident earlier in the summer they were living apart but it was Halloween and Deanna decided that she was going to ask Robbie if he wanted to go along with her and their daughter
• 53:00 - 53:30 trick-or-treating in Downtown West Jefferson North Carolina they drove down together to the downtown area but for some reason Robbie didn't want to get out of the car so Deanna took their daughter trick-or-treating and when she came back to the car he was focused on the fact that she may have been talking to another male while they were trick-or-treating and he became jealous and as the night progressed he was getting more angry and more angry
• 53:30 - 54:00 [Music] he drove them down to a secluded area of a parking lot outside of the local hospital and so he was confronting her and hitting her and he eventually got out his lighter and was hitting her ears with the lighter basically trying to force her to confess that she was involved with another man all the while the daughter was asleep in the back of the truck
• 54:00 - 54:30 finally in the morning the daughter woke up and Robbie announced that they were all taking a cross-country truck trip he had a cousin who co-drove the truck with him so the arrangement was that he would meet his cousin John to deliver this load to California they were being secret about this because the truck company had a policy against unauthorized Riders and Deanna and the daughter would be unauthorized Riders
• 54:30 - 55:00 they eventually all get into this tractor-trailer they drove across the line from North Carolina to Virginia stopped at a truck stop where for a couple of hours Robbie and John played the video poker machines while Deanna and the daughter walked around the truck stop Deanna had no money no cell phone didn't know anybody up there so she didn't alert anyone that she was there against her will she got back into the truck
• 55:00 - 55:30 they drove down into Tennessee and again Robbie becomes obsessed with this idea that she's cheating on him so he has John drive the truck he gets back in the cab he just started beating on her and it was like the night before where he he wanted to beat her into confessing to cheating on him and initially she was saying no I'm not I'm not cheating on you and he would beat her some more well finally she decided
• 55:30 - 56:00 that that wasn't working so she was going to admit to cheating on him hoping that that would get him to stop beating her so she started saying yes yes I did cheat on you and then he started saying well who with who give me some names and so she just started spouting off names of people that they knew so he forced her to use his phone to call these people that she was naming back home in North Carolina and so people back in North Carolina were getting phone calls in the middle of the night where she admitted
• 56:00 - 56:30 that she had cheated on Robbie she called a husband and wife named the guys told the wife hope that she had cheated with Mike but eventually hope could tell that something wasn't right that her Deanna's tone on the phone calls she sounded robotic she some hope got the impression that something was not right so while the truck is traveling west and Robbie is continuing to beat Deanna and accuse her of cheating on him people
• 56:30 - 57:00 back home are starting to figure out that something is wrong and they call the trucking company and eventually alert them that there are unauthorized people on the truck well until that happens they get to California drop off the load they head back East John's Driving they're heading towards Oklahoma and Robbie just this is the absolute worst beating of all foreign [Music]
• 57:00 - 57:30 and that's when he started hurting me the worst and Martina was sitting there and he kept covering my face with the pillow and he was telling me that I wasn't gonna make it back to miss Jefferson I couldn't breathe and when he realized that I wasn't moving he pulled the pillow off of my face and he started laughing and he said I almost got you that time didn't I
• 57:30 - 58:00 and it was right after that that I started having I had seizures and I had three seizures and I could hear Martinez screaming I couldn't see anything I could just hear her screaming and I hate when I did stop he pulled me up next to Martina and I went to sleep it was the first time the entire trip that I was able to sleep
• 58:00 - 58:30 finally the folks back at home had gotten in touch with the trucking company and they arranged for the truck to be stopped it was pulled over by law enforcement in Oklahoma but as the blue lights were turned on Robbie told Deanna that they were going to tell the police when they were stopped that he had saved her from a boyfriend back in North Carolina who had beaten her
• 58:30 - 59:00 I never received a call that had a child in danger and we needed to do a traffic stop on a semi so that's what I did and when I found what I found inside was you know was the little girl and the mother [Music] in the 15 years I've been a law enforcement officer I've never seen anybody that's been in a car wreck that was beat up as bad as that girl was even if they was thrown out of the vehicle mangled up in the vehicle they
• 59:00 - 59:30 still I've never seen anybody that was in that kind of shape I truly believe if I hadn't stopped a vehicle I don't think they would ever come home the reason he wasn't detained is because I didn't have no proof of whether it actually happened I had no paperwork stating anything it was out of the ordinary or anything she she wouldn't tell us who done it because of the Fear Factor I think she feared more for the child than she did her own life that's why she didn't say
• 59:30 - 60:00 once they were separated once she was in the car and away from him she told them that in fact Robbie had been the one who had beaten her the police could tell that she was very badly beaten they took her to the hospital in Oklahoma Deanna Howell presented at my emergency room in Anadarko Hospital in Anadarko Oklahoma [Music] when I first saw her I was horrified by her appearance
• 60:00 - 60:30 obviously with every movement that she made she was experiencing pain initially it was important for us to clean her up as she was covered in dried blood than when I felt her hair it was very sticky and very soiled and and I asked her at that point what was in her hair which she shared with me at that time it was Mountain Dew and urine and when I asked her how that came to be she
• 60:30 - 61:00 stated that he would throw his soda her ex-husband would throw his soda in her face and that whenever he had to urinate he would hold her by the ears and urinate in her face I took photos of Deanna in the emergency room she obviously was still in fear of her ex-husband and when I went out and asked the officer could he please tell me where her ex-husband was located with
• 61:00 - 61:30 the intent of finding out where he was incarcerated and being held at when he piped off to me that he's somewhere between here and North Carolina I guess Robbie was left at the side of the road in Oklahoma because she hadn't told police before he left that he was the one who beat her and he made his way back to North Carolina once he got back to North Carolina he was interviewed by law enforcement and um admitted to
• 61:30 - 62:00 beating her so badly that he almost broke his fingers [Music] I just wonder somehow his cousin got to her
• 62:00 - 62:30 um you know because with his cousin not charged I mean he's he's really free to uh you know to do whatever to intimidate you or intimidate her and I just wonder if if that's part of uh if that's part of what's happened I mean it might not be but it also might be so how's Martina yeah and that's going to make it hard but maybe what you can do is you can
• 62:30 - 63:00 take the uh those strong feelings that you've got and just really use those to be crystal clear in court you know to just to just you know to just say the things that you need to say so the court understands what he did to you all right Deanna we'll have a really good day and I'm glad you called and uh and I'll talk to you in the next couple days okay all right bye Deanna
• 63:00 - 63:30 [ __ ] Robbie [Music] even with all the there's a lot of dark things that happen up here like Deanna's case but I do love these mountains foreign
• 63:30 - 64:00 that's Jack and Jason that's October and he died the next August cleaning up an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico you know I look at that picture of his hair shining in the Sun um it was one of my jobs was to take care of his hair to make sure he didn't have split ends so the wedding went out to go pick up women that one of the things that you know that would draw women to him was his long blonde hair
• 64:00 - 64:30 he had a beautiful smile you stayed with this guy yeah I didn't have a choice I mean he told me and I was and I absolutely you know that's the part that it always so interesting to me what it's like you know the standard question why did you leave why did you leave why did you leave well uh he was trained by the United States Marine Corps to hunt people down and kill him and he told me if I left he would hunt me down and kill me that's why I didn't leave I used to pull what he would call my disappearing
• 64:30 - 65:00 ax and that would be I would you know get the boys and get out because I it just was getting too intense um but I would always go back because at least I knew where he was at least I knew the routine I knew what to expect but you know it's it's a terrible way to live to always be looking over your shoulder he also had good size too I mean I remember being in the funeral home looking at his
• 65:00 - 65:30 body and starting at the top of his head going down and thinking looking at his hands and thinking that his hands were both a weapon and it was also with those hands that he taught me how to garden so it's not clean it's complicated you know there's just a lot more to it than people willing to give
• 65:30 - 66:00 women credit for this this picture that picture right there that that picture was taken the last day that he was nice on that one day it was a beautiful fall day and he said let's go right up on the parkway and it was just so out of the ordinary but I was thrilled you know that we were going to have a good day and it was a great day
• 66:00 - 66:30 [Music] foreign [Music] was just confirmed that we were still on and I'm told to be there at 8 30. I am nervous about Taste of Vine I don't know really what I don't know what's going on so I'll find out this morning
• 66:30 - 67:00 everybody's telling me to be strong be truthful and that they're praying for me yesterday when I got up there is just something inside of me it just this feeling that I had that I needed to after the trial is over give Robbie a picture of Martina I just
• 67:00 - 67:30 want him to know pretty much what he's missed and that he's missed a lot in the last two years I mean his daughter just really growed up a lot and if he hadn't done what he did he would have been there for it [Music]
• 67:30 - 68:00 foreign [Music]
• 68:00 - 68:30 to other women out there who had I'm sure he's done it too um nobody should get away with this nobody foreign [Music]
• 68:30 - 69:00 I'm reading from a portion of the trial transcript the defense lawyer stated in his opening statement that what really happened here was they went on a family trip and it was a trip that she was willing to go on and happy to go on the government I argued that it wasn't a
• 69:00 - 69:30 voluntary trip that she was kidnapped and beaten along the way and that the jury should find him guilty of both counts the kidnapping and the interstate domestic violence the government called the nurse who saw DNA in Oklahoma several of the people who had received strange phone calls from Deanna during the trip Deanna of course testified when Indiana took the witness stand my heart was pounding because I understood the consequences of this trial
• 69:30 - 70:00 if he were to be found not guilty he'd be back out on the streets and he'd be a threat to her again [Music] but when I see what Deanna has done that she's phased her abuser she's walked into federal court she's taken the witness stand I'm just completely astonished at her courage [Music]
• 70:00 - 70:30 the jury made their decision of guilty on both counts and I feel absolutely awesome I could feel the tears came they didn't actually start falling but I could feel them coming they want to come now I'm so happy I'll be glad to get home to Martina I'll
• 70:30 - 71:00 be glad for you to get home to Martine I know she wants her mom home yes she does yeah [Music] Robbie was sentenced to almost 21 years in federal prison but the sad and tragic reality is that the majority of the time he serves will be for kidnapping Deanna not for beating her I can't help thinking about the fact that after Robbie kidnapped Deanna and almost killed her when she came back she had to listen to the DA's to the police
• 71:00 - 71:30 to the defense attorney and even her own family ask her why she didn't just leave when in reality that's precisely what she did do she left and he retaliated by kidnapping her and beating her for four and a half days so she did what everyone wanted her to do and she almost paid for it with her life [Music]
• 71:30 - 72:00 I've been training advocates for a lot of years since the early since 1990 and I'm always so astonished and moved at the people who want to come into this movement and do this work because it's not easy work it can be heartbreaking and frustrating but it can also be unbelievably
• 72:00 - 72:30 uplifting and you see things and hear things that you couldn't make up and you witness uh you witness victims shedding that skin and um and just leaving the violence behind it's it's just wonderful
• 72:30 - 73:00 we are at a place that I'm looking at hoping to rent and news Step A New Beginning getting out of my parents house starting over a new life the inside the house that blind is not full straight anyway
• 73:00 - 73:30 but the lady said to tell you she's packing up moving so there's stuff sitting around this is the bedroom stuff sitting in here and Chester drawers and self-cleaning oven new refrigerator washer and dryer commode big good shower tub plus a beautiful view yes I love it
• 73:30 - 74:00 Parkway that way Grandfather Mountain that way you see grandfather's Mountain to die some days you can't see it when it gets real hazy but you can see it good to die okay it's perfect [Music]
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