The Untold Truth About Women's Desires: No More Secrets Pt.2

Estimated read time: 1:20

Summary

In this episode of the Life in Red Podcast, the hosts discuss women's sexuality, breaking down societal constructs and stigmas. They emphasize the importance of self-acceptance, emotional connection, and the diverse nature of female sexual desires. The conversation also touches on the role of pornography, its historical male-centric focus, and the empowerment women find in owning their sexual identities. Encouraging listeners to embrace their sexuality openly and without shame, the episode advocates for a balanced understanding and acceptance of all aspects of female sexuality.

Highlights

Women need to embrace their sexuality without shame. 🙌
Self-acceptance leads to sexual liberation for women. 🕊️
Pornography has traditionally catered to male fantasies. Let's focus on what women want! 👀
Emotional needs often precede physical desires in many women. Try connecting before getting physical! 🤝
Open conversations can help redefine female sexuality beyond societal norms. Let's keep the dialogue going! 🗨️

Key Takeaways

Self-acceptance is pivotal for sexual liberation and empowerment. Feel good about who you are! 💁‍♀️
Women’s sexual desires vary greatly, and that's perfectly okay. Embrace your uniqueness! 💪
The historical male-centric nature of pornography influences perceptions of female sexuality. Let's change the script! 🎬
Emotional connection often plays a significant role in women's sexual experiences. Value and love go hand in hand! 💖
Empowerment through open conversations can diminish shame surrounding female sexuality. Let's talk about it! 🗣️

Overview

In this sizzling episode of the Life in Red Podcast, the hosts dive headfirst into the unspoken truths about women's desires and sexuality. They peel back the layers of societal expectations and stigmatized views, advocating for a more open, honest conversation about what women really want. It's all about living your best red life, breaking free from constraints, and fully embracing your desires.

The dialogue delves into the historical bias of pornography, traditionally aimed at male pleasure, and highlights the need for more inclusive representations that respect women's fantasies. There's a call to action to change the narrative, to celebrate emotional connection as a crucial component of fulfilling sex, and to understand that sex is not one-size-fits-all.

As the episode rounds out, listeners are encouraged to look inward and embark on a journey of self-love and acceptance. By uplifting each other and having candid discussions about intimacy and personal needs, women can create a safe space to discover and express their sexuality freely. So grab your headphones, tune in, and get ready to unlock the untold truths of women's desires!

Chapters

00:00 - 01:00: Introduction to Life in Red Podcast This chapter introduces the Life in Red podcast, which is centered around themes of positive sexuality and self-love. It sets the tone for the podcast by emphasizing these aspects as a lifestyle.
01:00 - 03:00: Campaign for Sexual Activity The chapter titled 'Campaign for Sexual Activity' emphasizes the theme of confidence and embracing one's sexuality, symbolized by the color red. It encourages individuals to be courageous, passionate, and sexy, adopting a lifestyle that reflects these attributes. The chapter closes with an open-ended question, likely inviting reflection or further discussion.
03:00 - 05:00: Emotional Connection in Relationships The chapter titled 'Emotional Connection in Relationships' seems to delve into the significance of forming deeper connections in relationships. Although the transcript is too fragmented to give a comprehensive summary, the text hints at an ongoing campaign led by Jennifer, aiming to encourage individuals to reduce or cease relying on anti-depressants. The chapter seems to be a part of a larger journey or series engaging the audience to participate by liking and subscribing, suggesting a multimedia or interactive component. The mention of 'Music' likely indicates elements of the transcript that were not spoken words, possibly mood-setting for the theme discussed.
05:00 - 08:00: Different Needs in Female Sexuality This chapter discusses the concept of reigniting physical intimacy in relationships where couples have not engaged in sexual activity for an extended period. The narrative describes a scenario where a couple hasn't had physical contact for two years. The discussion illustrates the importance of setting challenges as a catalyst for change, highlighting a therapist's approach of encouraging couples to reconnect by having sex, acknowledging the initial awkwardness but stressing the need to overcome it to rewire their nervous systems and improve their relationship.
08:00 - 11:00: Evolution of Desire in Long-term Relationships This chapter explores the evolution of desire in long-term relationships. It highlights how initial barriers and tensions are relieved after reconnecting physically and emotionally. Once couples navigate through these phase, they often experience renewed bonding and acceptance. For women, this is often linked with feeling valued and beautiful, while for men, it might be about overcoming perceived rejections. Overall, the chapter underscores the importance of maintaining connection to manage isolation and miscommunication in long-term relationships.
11:00 - 15:00: Pornography's Impact on Female Sexuality The chapter explores the psychological aspects of female sexuality in relation to pornography. It discusses the notion of feeling desired and wanted, and how it relates to personal expression and space. The conversation delves into personal behavior patterns, such as using sex as a coping mechanism during disputes, illustrating how pornography might influence these patterns.
15:00 - 18:00: Exploring Female Fantasies This chapter explores the impact of hormones on female fantasies and emotional connections. It suggests that regular sexual activity can lead to feelings of relaxation, reconnection, and bonding. Conversely, a lack of regular sex may result in a loss of these positive feelings, leading to a sense of disconnection. This highlights the intensity and intricacy of female emotional and physical needs.
18:00 - 23:00: Challenging Traditional Sexual Norms The chapter titled 'Challenging Traditional Sexual Norms' explores the emotional aspects of human sexuality, particularly emphasizing the importance of emotional fulfillment in sexual experiences, especially for those in their 40s and older. It touches upon the concept of love languages, suggesting that physical touch is an important form of expression and communication in intimate relationships. The discussion acknowledges that while not all women experience these aspects identically due to biological differences, emotional connectivity remains significant.
23:00 - 28:00: Self-Acceptance and Female Sexuality This chapter explores the connection between self-acceptance, feeling valued, and female sexuality within a committed relationship. It emphasizes the emotional and communicative aspects that influence a woman's willingness to engage in intimacy, highlighting the importance of feeling seen, valued, and honored by her partner. Practical advice is given for partners, such as expressing gratitude for everyday tasks and showing genuine interest in their partner's day-to-day experiences, ultimately fostering a deeper emotional connection.
28:00 - 35:00: Breaking Misconceptions Around Female Sexuality The chapter discusses the common misconceptions surrounding female sexuality, emphasizing the diverse needs and preferences women may have. It highlights the importance of fulfilling emotional needs for some women in order to feel sexually connected with their partners, while also acknowledging that some women may simply desire physical intimacy without the emotional component. The key takeaway is that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to experience female sexuality, and society should create space and grant permission for the entire spectrum of sexual preferences.
35:00 - 41:00: Advice for Exploring Sexuality and Self-Acceptance The chapter explores the varying ways women express and experience sexuality, emphasizing that each approach is valid. It highlights the emotional aspect for some women who seek verbal affirmation and appreciation from their partners, which enhances their sexual arousal and desire to engage in sexual activities. On the contrary, other women may view sex as fulfilling a raw physical need, without requiring emotional reinforcement. The chapter stresses that both approaches are valid and neither defines nor devalues a woman's identity or sexuality.
41:00 - 44:00: Resources and Support for Sexual Exploration The chapter explores the emotional aspects of sex, noting that certain age groups, possibly due to religious constructs and the era they were raised in, may experience emotion in sex differently. The discussion hints at the influence of the longevity of relationships on these emotional aspects.
44:00 - 50:00: Closing Remarks and Staying Empowered The chapter delves into the challenges of maintaining passion in long-term relationships, noting that initial sparks and pheromones diminish over time. It discusses how these elements are replaced by different forms of fulfillment as individuals and circumstances evolve. Commitment and social constructs play significant roles in sustaining relationships despite changes.

The Untold Truth About Women's Desires: No More Secrets Pt.2 Transcription

00:00 - 00:30 [Music] welcome to the life in red podcast this is a way of life that emphasizes positive sex uality self love
00:30 - 01:00 and confidence on this journey red is now your new color be courageous be passionate be sexy and never stop living your best red life so now I have one question
01:00 - 01:30 for you are you ready to live your life in [Music] red to join us on this journey like And subscribe [Music] below I mean this is a campaign right now Jennifer let's start it a campaign to get off potential anti-depressants guys just bang right seriously
01:30 - 02:00 just bang yeah it'll just rewire the nervous system bang we're joking about but it's so true I remember a couple my office and they'd come in and they haven't touched each other in years literally haven't touched each other in two years yeah the way I do my work after a session I always like to leave whoever I'm working with with a challenge right here's your challenge for the week something to think about something to work on something to read whatever the case may be and in those situations okay you you go home and have some sex like it's going to be awkward it's going to be weird it's going to be just to do it but do it get the F rip
02:00 - 02:30 the bandet off get that first time done you know two weeks later they walk into my office and they're holding hands and they sit beside each other the body langu and they're glowing I'm like you had sex and how you doing so much of that tension so much of that you know perceived rejection so much of that um isolation is is gone and for the you bonded you bonded and for the woman it's that sense of acceptance that sense of feeling beautiful again that sense of
02:30 - 03:00 feeling desired and wanted again right that idea that you know this part of me can be honored this part of me I can take space for it I can make space for it and that's yeah well it going to women and knowing myself like I have the type like if I get an argument with my partner or um or any of those things my go-to is I want to have sex that's just where I go to
03:00 - 03:30 and I find that it's very interesting because it's it's like those hormones do relax you I do feel reconnected rebonded and all those things but also if I'm not having sex on a regular basis I do end up going to these places of not feeling that connection not feeling bonded not feeling uh you know all those things and it's so intense that is this a
03:30 - 04:00 biological thing that women have not every woman does but yeah it can okay so it sounds like maybe one of your love languages is physical touch that's how you receive physical touch um but human sex is very much a an emotional experience right especially if we're talking about you know let's say 40s and and older so to speak even mid older um there's still that that need to have some sort of emotional um fulfillment present just I should say if especially
04:00 - 04:30 if you're in a committed relationship right so he doesn't talk to me he doesn't listen to me he doesn't value me I'm not going to go and have sex with him because I don't feel important I don't feel seen I don't feel um like this is somebody who's going to Value me and honor me right so that piece sometimes still is very much present um you know sometimes when I'm talking to couples and working with them it's the idea of like okay thank her for making you dinner you know thank her for everything she does around the house ask ask her about her workday um ask her how
04:30 - 05:00 she's feeling if you want to be sexually connected with your partner that emotional need does need to be fulfilled a lot of the time too and there's nothing wrong with that either there is absolutely right wrong with that but that doesn't mean that some women are need the emotional um foreplay let's call it it doesn't mean that they're wrong and the women who just want to have sex are are right or vice versa it means that on this spectrum of sexuality of female sexuality we need to make space and we need to give permissions for all areas
05:00 - 05:30 to exist for some women it is going to be emotional I need my husband or my partner or my boyfriend to tell me I'm beautiful to Value me to appreciate me and in his work yeah I get sexual arousal therefore I'll perform sexually because I want to and for some womens I don't care just pull your pants down and give me what I'm looking for because it's a raw sexual need both can be true for females and just because one woman expresses it one way and one the other doesn't devalue who she is as a woman nor does it Define who a
05:30 - 06:00 woman no and and and I noticed you did say an interesting bit there that a certain age group The Emotional aspect of sex exists more is that have to do with constructs I think of those go ahead no of those eras like religious constructs the the Boomer age and different things like that yeah I think it I think it might but I think it's also I think there's an aspect of the longevity of the relationship as well
06:00 - 06:30 right we we know it's harder to keep that sexual fire going in a long-term relationship uh because a lot of those initial Sparks a lot of those initial for fairmon aren't present anymore after a certain period of time those aspects are fulfilled in different ways right so and life changes and we change and circumstances change as well right and I think that that commitment piece plays a role as well uh but I think social construct for sure I think that you know the whole concept when you grow up
06:30 - 07:00 thinking and being told that you know sex is something you do when you both love each other well if I don't feel L yeah I'm not gonna have sex right so I think that that's as well um and I think one of the understanding that oh this is a whole other show I know I know I just heard you say so I was like oh that's interesting sorry I'm like taking a segue um but understanding I think at the end of the day understanding bringing it back to female sexuality
07:00 - 07:30 that you know what drives female sexuality and how it's projected and how it's displayed can vary in so many ways and the acceptance of those differences needs to be right because that's the reality of female sexuality well I I think that's that's beautiful and I like how you're keeping it open and leaving a gray area because like we are women I feel we're fluid we
07:30 - 08:00 change there's there's sometimes I'm an animal and I just want to bang and there's sometimes I do want the emotional connection and that more spiritual uh connection so it's like it's we fluctuate there's no we're fluid so uh I wanted to get into something you wrote me yesterday that the role pornography plays in female sexuality and how typically and historically women were taken by men in pornography
08:00 - 08:30 images and Playboy were all aimed towards what men fantasize about and images that are suited to women being young and submissive could we dive into this yeah so after our conversation yesterday um when we were talking about the show and what we were going to talk about um I had I was about to start a session and this just kind of popped into my head and I remember I was back in my undergrad and uh I took a course on um pornography and the role Society has played over the years in pornography so this whole course for this whole semester was watching pornography and
08:30 - 09:00 dissecting the different roles of men and female and social constructs in that time period of the pornography that the pornography was made so ultimately what came to mind was this idea that traditionally pornography is very much made for men's viewing pleasure right you look at someone like Ron Jeremy he is like porographic swing but he is not an overly handsome man no
09:00 - 09:30 not no no you are hung like a horse good for you for you but it's not about that that image of of Seduction for a woman but every woman he is with is pleasing a man's visual appear visual stimulation right she objectively is that Pam man objective kind of woman yes and then you look at the acts in pornography you look at Playboy you know that that young girl with the jersey shirt on or the sports jacket on or the
09:30 - 10:00 you know flag bikini or in in her little pigtails and her cherleader outfit that is all to please the eyes of men and yes I know Playboy is made for men and I understand that but it's that idea of female sexuality being for the purpose serving the purpose I see where you're going with this the the objective of sexuality is been all around pleasing men pleasing men pleasing men it hasn't been yeah so it's always been the cause
10:00 - 10:30 and effect in that way correct versus portraying it as an equal opportunity correct uh both people receiving and being wanting pleasure absolutely and both people who are in those pornographic movies being appealing universally so to speak right like said that that kind of construct of generally speaking she is an attractive woman but you look at men in pornography and what they're doing and their role and it's not about being seductive and appealing to women
10:30 - 11:00 watching pornography because traditionally women didn't watch pornography right right the idea of women watching pornography and openly saying I'm going to watch pornography and masturbate is is still in today's world I would argue a concept that is very very odd and may have yes feedback on that that isn't positive it is and let's let's write a character like like you have your you have your girl in the jersey with the pigtails walks in the set like here she
11:00 - 11:30 is we already know her she's been around forever but we have like what are we going Fabio like because Fabio kind of was oh he was for the the first you know he was kind of the female uh he he he wanted to get in touch with her feelings yeah and and understand it we do have porn now that are created centered finely for females more story detail
11:30 - 12:00 oriented which it's finally turning around right and what would be considered more I guess maybe soft porn um in yeah right so there's a bit more to it but even the image right like maybe the image is somebody who see again sexual appetites are different for some women it's like that strong maybe that construction worker that comes home from from work all dirty and and WR and you know greasy or what maybe it's the suit and the brief case and you know
12:00 - 12:30 that Powerhouse image either way um but I think it's just the idea that you know when you look at pornography traditionally I'm not talking about you know everything and I'm making trying not to make a blanket statement here but traditionally it was set up to fulfill men's sexual pleasures it wasn't about female yeah our Pleasures our fantasies and every and they are quite different and they are quite different and even in the pornography it's the woman being taken you know something is being done
12:30 - 13:00 to her um and right she is you know serving the purpose to please him yes um right and and I think speaking on behalf of myself not saying I'm I not quite like everyone definitely will admit that but I I find like in my own fantasies um a lot of times I'm a I'm dominating like maybe let's say another
13:00 - 13:30 female wouldn't you be so lucky out there no I'm joking but uh no but I just mean it's more I'm active in the the deciding roles of what's going on I'm very active I'm a lead in that play right it's but then I am open to receiving at different times but there's a receiving and giving as a woman that I enjoy it's not just receptivity or BJs or whatever right you know I think a lot
13:30 - 14:00 of that like you said that word fluid right that changes we do find wom in very powerful positions right so let's say she's the CEO of a company or you know she runs Hospital Wing or whatever the case may be those women tend to have an element within them that wants to be dominated in the bedroom I don't want to make decisions that makes I don't want to be in control I just want to let loose and I just don't want I want to just enjoy this without being the person to make the choices um so I'm choosing to be in that more dominant role uh but
14:00 - 14:30 then maybe maybe she switches another day maybe she wants to control because she's on this high from this meeting she's had the ultimate message is that it comes and goes and it changes and that's okay the ab the permanency attached to female sexuality or cementing it as it has to look one way is something we're trying to move away from yes and that's that's that's what's beautiful is you know as a society we
14:30 - 15:00 want to put everything in a box to feel safe everything needs to be in a box whether it be identity labels uh whether it be what is your sexuality what does that look like woman you know what what is it it's time to decide now now they're making children decide which is a lot of pressure yeah and it's like what are you are you gay you straight what do you are you sis gender like what do you identify as it's all this pressure to pick which Cool Kids Club you fit in right and and and even with sexuality it's
15:00 - 15:30 like feminine energy in my opinion um is fluid you fit what feels right and that's and it could be different for each of you absolutely and there's nothing and that's there's no right or wrong when it comes to it and I hope that's the message that the the people are listening take from this is that we used to live in a world where women were told this is who you are is what your sexuality looks like and this is
15:30 - 16:00 actually who it belongs to and this is how you use it and we're trying to away from that and make it so that women are able to say actually this is how I feel and this is who I am and this is where my appetite lies and you know what that may change in the next decade of my life and it may come yeah and that's okay that's okay right so empowering women to really talk about their own sexuality even if that they conversation starts within themselves it's so many women are still so blocked by this conversation of sex
16:00 - 16:30 um that it's it's a little bit concerning in the sense that um how do we teach our daughters how do we give them that permission to explore their bodies as they get older and explore their sexuality if we are so hung up on it yes yeah we're worried I mean obviously there's the the fears of protection we have consent we have STI there's all the things and I'm a mother two girls like of course those things
16:30 - 17:00 are there I teach them about that but it's like if you repress someone's animal you know you repress the animal within them it does not go well you it's because you will have to go balance there or it will come out in destructive ways often times right and um I'm going to cut right here really quick I didn't plug in my laptop talk sorry you ladies
17:00 - 17:30 ready for your sexual Liberation it's time for a revolution here we go needed that [Music] bad need that
17:30 - 18:00 [Music] that so there's one other thing go ahead the idea of repression right you talked about growing up in in a very religious family and we talk about these women women who grow up in a very very
18:00 - 18:30 religious environments who are told you know this is your sexuality and I like the point you just made about you know that repression then leads to what can be very dangerous behaviors or it can be you know they can come out in ways that can be um questionable or harmful and I think for a lot of society a lot of women it's the understanding that if we talk about this and we normalize femos sexuality then we actually reduce the harm we reduce the risk of harm yes because we're not making it a forbidden fruit right we're making it something
18:30 - 19:00 that you know these young girls are going to experience you're and we teach them how to do it safely we teach them how to right have that autonomy and that power to say yes and say no and mean no and protect themselves and why shouldn't women walk around with condoms in their purse why shouldn't they demand protection during the ACT why should it all be something that someone else is responsible for so I think there's power in talking about it rather than the opposite if we talk about they're going
19:00 - 19:30 to do it they're going to do it anyway let's be 100% honest they are and you're just with the shame element it it could be harmful it could and and and this is and this is what I noticed being more open about talking about sex with like male counterparts I've noticed that because of the societal stigma immediately because I'm open saying I have a show that's on sexuality immediately immediately that means that I'm priscu
19:30 - 20:00 immediately that means and and it's like it's a downfall and and it's it's like and I know I live in the south and that's a huge influence there but it's like oh this is going to be easy she talks about sex that must mean that anyone could get with her it's like no and it's hilarious to say that because so I've been married for 20 years I've been with him for 24 years um and he's he's it but I still do what I do
20:00 - 20:30 and I still talk about sex and I still have my views and my opinions and my beliefs and I remember talking to somebody who um was exploring you know alternative sexual Lifestyles right again you do you there's literally and and genuinely no judgment you do what fits you but that's not for right and the comment I receiv received was I thought because you're a sex therapist and you talk about sex opening you wouldn't be such approved and I'm like hold on a minute oh now
20:30 - 21:00 there's monogamy Shane so I'm because I'm in an exclusive monogamous relationship and I don't have interest in changing that status I'm approved that's a huge assumption that's a so you're straight and you're not gay that makes you approved right or the idea like that's what I'm saying open relationship or whatever the case may be but it's those are all parts of those shame elements right CU you're like okay hold on a minute why would I be approved like you're
21:00 - 21:30 assuming that every woman in a monogamous long-term relationship has sex a certain way and is a certain sexual being that's a huge assumption and that's very very closed off in terms of female sexuality why can't it be women in long-term committed relationships are crazy ravishing animals in the sock why can't they yeah how do you know you don't I mean that's there is a misconception coming into this Progressive world of and swinging and all this because it is
21:30 - 22:00 coming out of the closet no more pineapples hiding and all these things because of that if I choose monogamy I've I've even felt it I choose monogamy myself at this point and because of that there is almost a thing like a fear maybe they think I'm judging them or or I I'm under the religious structures it's like no that's just where I feel safe and that's where I want to be right and and I I don't care what you do I'd love to hear about it I find it f right but the idea that a monogamous couple or
22:00 - 22:30 a female who is monogamous can't be adventur yes how do you know what we're doing in the bedroom you have no idea if there's whips and chains hanging in my bedroom or if there's that's what I'm saying you could be so adventurous in monogamy whatever makes you feel safe in whatever element of relationship that fits you so that shame aspect around female sexuality it's actually quite broad um and it's it's applied or projected Maybe um in different Realms right so when you when you say that you
22:30 - 23:00 know she talks about sex she's an easy target it's I think there there's still a struggle in our society to conceptualize or to you know marry the concepts of I'm open to talk about it I have no shame around my sex but I don't want to have wild sex with everybody I see right the two are not equivalent yeah it was it was like a plague of assumptions of being promiscuous I mean everywhere there was no that was it animal on can't get to know
23:00 - 23:30 on a deeper level at all like because of being open And discussing this thing and and I just found it it it seems to I know it was because it's like the South but I also find it just like I'm glad I'm here today with you talking about this because it's just not if if that's where someone goes in their mind instantly then no wonder women don't feel safe right like where where is the permission where is the space to be able
23:30 - 24:00 to talk the space without you being vulgar right that vulgar is applied to women who talk about sex all the time oh she's vulgar not ladylike wait a minute that's not true about me at all I've gotten that so much I don't relate to you are not lady like I don't relate to being vulgar I can be ladylike when I choose to but why do I have to be one thing and why does my sexuality have to Define that one thing that I
24:00 - 24:30 am well and also I mean don't get me started on definitions and perception and constructs and who decided what lady like was I sure as hell don't believe it was a lady no like you know probably not so even if it was whatever your definition this is the whole point your definition of what lady like is for your family in Calgary that is what ladylike is for you absolutely
24:30 - 25:00 and you want to talk about chubs and you want to talk about anal sex that's lady like as hell to me you're in good company same with [Laughter] me so this has been quite interesting and and the last point I really would love to get into is that I women and their sexuality it's it feels like self-acceptance this beautiful thing of self-acceptance that
25:00 - 25:30 I'm just now really inviting into my healing uh world that is so powerful I don't know if you could go into self-acceptance and exploring your sexuality a little bit I think the that that statement is quite true I think they do go hand in hand to a certain degree right when you accept yourself whether it be physically emotionally your personality your your quirks your flaws your beautiful your all of those things all of your parts um
25:30 - 26:00 then you can truly accept your sexuality and you can truly explore yourself as a sexual being right well there's and there's shame in who you are whether that's because you don't fit your cultural norms whether that's because you don't adhere to your family's chosen religion whether it's because your body size or your shape or or whatever the case may be we can't allow ourselves as women to fully fall into exploring ourselves sexually when we haven't accepted who we are and accept ourselves as our true
26:00 - 26:30 beauty right I don't care what anyone says there's Beauty in women women are beau Beautiful Creatures and I don't think a certain size is beautiful when you truly look objectively as at women they're beautiful from like their smiles to their eyes to their curves and their skin like I I get it women are beautiful beautiful creatures when you can see within yourself when you allow yourself to Define your beauty and not take your beauty from what other people tell you
26:30 - 27:00 it should be then you find peace within yourself and within that peace you're releasing a lot of Hang-Ups you're releasing a lot of insecurities and then you're able to explore yourself sexually then you're able to say it's okay to give myself an orgasm it's okay to up to myself tonight that is okay it is okay to make my and your orgasms they're yours sorry they're yours right your or are yours exactly right it actually they
27:00 - 27:30 are and self-acceptance opens the door so much to potential orgasms and women don't recognize and realize how much of a female's ability to have or orgasm is actually in their mind right physically most women can't achieve orgasm through penile penetration it's it's a really difficult thing to do um you can get there eventually but it's not it's not a given for every female because not everyone's body is made the same our reproductive organs are not all
27:30 - 28:00 the same size are not positioned exactly the same way um and that impacts ril to have a penol penetration orgasm or an internal orgasm right an orgasm through cloral stimulation however you can you know a thousand times if you're locked in your brain with shame and guilt and hatred for yourself she's not going to respond yeah she's not GNA do not pass go do not collect $200 if you can
28:00 - 28:30 release the if you can work on that self-acceptance and you can release the shame and lothing and you then explore your your areas then the response is positive yes so yes of acceptance and a lot of the work I do with women is that piece of it's okay to be who you are you are enough if you feel what is your truth about yourself never mind what people tell you about yourself what do you feel to be true and through that
28:30 - 29:00 level of acceptance then there's that element of okay now let's explore this part of you yeah it's like almost if we could lock that part of our brain that's looking for acceptance outside outside of ourselves if that's just a boundary a Ten Commandment a non-negotiable that we have with ourselves is Honey Badger Don't Care it's not about that ever again it's not about what you think of me it's 100% about what I think of me and it's like because if I feel good I
29:00 - 29:30 luck in the mirror I turn me on I marry myself it's like whether you find me attractive or not it doesn't matter you know it just doesn't matter anymore and because I find me attractive exactly and I see my value right it comes down yes value that Worth right how many women can truly turn to themselves in the mirror and say I deserve a great
29:30 - 30:00 orgasm I'm worth oh that's beautiful there needs to be a t-shirt I deserve a great orgasm but if you believe it to be true you will put the mo Wheels in motions to achieve it whether it's with your whether it's opening the lines of communication with your partner whatever means you want to explore it but so many women are like well you know that's too much I I can't I can't as long as he gets off why I was so like that for years it was I
30:00 - 30:30 found so much pleasure and my partner's pleasure because I gave up thinking I was broken like I was just not going to be able to because I was be be in my head too much about my body the way I looked worried about what he thought so when he got off that was the only pleasure IED from sex ever um the physical touch was nice but I never was open to that so it's it's really crazy how the tables turn when you do the things that you're saying yeah because it is a completely different experience I like it now like for me for me and as
30:30 - 31:00 a result ladies when you like it for you it gets better for the US yes for the US it gets so much better and then there's a whole other realm of whatever connection you're looking for whether it be emotional physical sexual spiritual U but when you get out of your own head and you you know hang up your insecurities rather than take them into the room with you it opens a whole door a whole world of female sexuality so I think you know if anyone's listening out there that struggles with
31:00 - 31:30 this and that is ashamed and has guilt I do urge you encourage you to get on to Psychology today find a therapist that you can trust and talk to and start your journey and learning about your own sexuality so that you're able to Define it in a way that fits you and honors you yes and I know it can feel unsafe out there to um whether it be your financial situation you can't get help whatever it is is but even like get a therapist find someone and if you can't
31:30 - 32:00 do that the next option is reach out through email to to people speaking out and there will be resources there's always help out there for you you are not alone you are not alone and there are some great um even books out there that you can start to read um Emily I might say her last name wrong is it NY come as you are come as you are like that is a fantastic book for women to start reading and just understanding their
32:00 - 32:30 bodies and understanding how their sexual organs work and why they are the way they are to a certain degree yeah um you know why is it that you know when he gets home from work and he smells a certain way oh my God I want to take him right now but like when he's touching me I feel nothing well there's a reason behind that you're not broken so many women think they're broken what's wrong with me nothing's wrong with you you just don't know how you work yet figure that's all it is you do you got to figure out your gas pedal
32:30 - 33:00 yeah when your foot goes on the what gets the foot on the gas pedal yeah and it's so true and it's so relatable yes it is um well Jennifer how can people look up your work find you I understand that you're in Canada and there are laws around that but if someone wanted to look you up read about you yourself I don't have a lot of social media presence I really don't um
33:00 - 33:30 I do keep myself um quite closed off that way I do have a psychology today profile you can find me there I actually don't have a website believe it or not even though I've been in practice for 11 years um it's fine they're obsolete now anyway I've never ever um had one um so that psychology is really the only way if everyone has there are laws around it right I am licensed and registered in Canada but um we can't cross over the board um in terms sorry Americans sorry but
33:30 - 34:00 you know if I receive an email um I will respond so there's always that Avenue all right well thank you so much Jennifer and I will make sure to put your um contact in the below uh area because we do have a lot of Canadian listeners we have a lot of um sex therapists in that region and so I will put that for you guys because I know that you all deserve
34:00 - 34:30 someone who knows what they're talking about and you can feel safe with to explore these things women let's not swing this is my last words let's not swing the pendulum though let's not swing this other way where we we bash and we hate you know the patriarchy and all these things let's come together as women as individuals and now be activists for ourselves absolutely and so thank you Jennifer for being on today today and you guys keep it red and we'll
34:30 - 35:00 see you next time bye [Music] bye thanks for joining the life and red today where we Embrace passion confidence and positive sexuality keep painting your journey in bold red Strokes don't forget to like subscribe and follow us so that you never miss out on living your best red life ready for more stay passionate stay R
35:00 - 35:30 see you next episode