Understanding Attraction and the Nice Guy Paradox

This weird paradox reveals how to actually get women fast

Estimated read time: 1:20

    Summary

    This video explores a paradox in women's attraction to men, revealing how women often say they want responsible, kind partners, yet are drawn to men who are dominant and exciting. This behavior is based on evolutionary biology, where women subconsciously seek out strong genetics for their offspring, leading them to choose dominant men who are often unreliable in long-term partnerships. As a result, many women separate their attraction to dominant men from their need for stability, finding it in different partners. Men can navigate this paradox by balancing qualities of excitement and stability, being the type of partner capable of offering both strong genetics and parental support.

      Highlights

      • Women often voice a preference for stable partners, yet their choices tend to lean towards dominant men πŸ€”.
      • Strong genes often outweigh the need for stable long-term partners early on in women's lives πŸ‘Ά.
      • Dominant men provide the excitement that many women are subconsciously attracted to 🎒.
      • 'Nice guys' often go unnoticed until women start prioritizing stability later in life πŸ“….
      • Men aiming for long-term relationships should balance dominant and nurturing qualities πŸ’Ό.

      Key Takeaways

      • Women often say they want responsible partners but are drawn to dominant and exciting men 🀯.
      • Attraction is driven by evolutionary biology, seeking strong genetics over parental qualities 🌿.
      • Women separate attraction to dominant men from need for stable partners πŸŒ—.
      • The 'nice guys' are often overlooked until women seek stability later in life πŸ‘€.
      • Men can be more attractive by balancing excitement and stability βš–οΈ.

      Overview

      The video begins by outlining a peculiar paradox in women's dating behavior, where their verbal preferences often differ from actual partner choices. The crux of the discussion is the difference between the responsible, kind men women say they want and the dominant, exciting men they are biologically drawn to. This preference is deeply rooted in evolutionary biology, emphasizing the unlikelihood of finding both qualities in a single individual as most men tend to fall into one category.

        It delves into the biological reasoning behind this paradox, explaining that throughout history, women have selected mates based on strong genetics rather than nurturing abilities. This strategy ensures the passing on of robust genes, as these dominant men are often what society deems 'warriors' or 'rule breakers'β€”traits associated with risk-taking and dominance.

          Lastly, the video highlights how modern men can use this understanding to their advantage. By positioning themselves between the extremes of dominant and nurturing, men can attract women looking for both exciting partners and potential long-term stability. This entails offering a mix of excitement and reliable support, ideally balancing both sets of traits to maximize attractiveness and relationship potential.

            Chapters

            • 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction to the Paradox of Attraction In this chapter, the author introduces the concept of the paradox of attraction with a focus on understanding women's desires in a partner. The speaker promises a transformative understanding of this paradox that will impact one's interactions with women. The chapter begins with the assertion that despite individual differences, most women articulate similar desires in a man, including qualities like responsibility and kindness.
            • 00:30 - 01:00: The Disparity Between Stated Desires and Actual Choices The chapter explores the difference between what people, specifically women in this context, claim to want in a partner versus the choices they actually make. It highlights how women express a desire for partners who will be good fathers, which is logical if they aim to further the human race. However, in practice, the men they choose to be with or who father their children often do not fit this description. Instead, these are men they find irresistible and repeatedly return to, even if these men do not stay committed and often abandon them. This indicates a disparity between their stated desires and their actual behavior in terms of choosing partners.
            • 01:00 - 02:00: Dominance: The Attraction Factor The chapter titled 'Dominance: The Attraction Factor' explores the paradoxical attraction many women have towards men who do not fit the traditional model of a 'good guy.' Despite often claiming to want stable and responsible partners, women frequently pursue men who are reckless, unreliable, and dominant. These men are viewed as more exciting, highlighting a discrepancy between what women say they want and the type of men they are drawn to.
            • 02:00 - 02:30: Biological Basis of Attraction This chapter explores the paradoxical nature of attraction, particularly why women might be drawn to men who would not be ideal fathers and later settle with more suitable partners. The text delves into potential reasons for this behavior, questioning societal norms around relationships and parental roles.
            • 02:30 - 04:00: The Dual Mating Strategy This chapter explores the concept of the dual mating strategy in human evolution, particularly focusing on female attraction. It explains that women's attraction is not a conscious choice and is not based on logical decisions. Rather, it is a biological response deeply rooted in evolutionary history. This innate attraction is not something that women consciously control or even fully realize, as it is part of an evolutionary mechanism.
            • 04:00 - 05:30: Modern Implications of Ancient Strategies The chapter titled 'Modern Implications of Ancient Strategies' discusses how traits that were advantageous in ancient times, such as dominance, risk-taking, and a rebellious nature, continue to shape perceptions of strong genetics today. These traits were embodied by warriors, conquerors, and rule breakers in the past, suggesting a continuity between ancient and modern ideals of masculinity and genetic superiority. Men displaying such traits were considered strong candidates for fatherhood due to their perceived genetic strength and survival capabilities.
            • 05:30 - 08:00: The Ideal Balance The chapter explores the dynamics of mate selection among women, highlighting a common choice women make between genetics and stability. It discusses the traits of certain men who are often feared by others and tend to abandon women after pregnancy. The chapter provides a historical perspective on women's mating strategies, emphasizing the longstanding selection for strong men to ensure the passage of desirable genes.
            • 08:00 - 10:00: Conclusion and Takeaways In this chapter, the focus is on the social dynamics and strategies employed by women in ancient times when choosing partners. The chapter discusses how women sought not only men with strategic prowess but also those who offered stability and safety for raising children. It highlights that the most dominant men, such as warriors and leaders, were often preoccupied with conquests and leadership duties, leaving no time for family engagement. As a result, women had to adapt and find ways to balance their needs for both strong, strategic partners and reliable family men.

            This weird paradox reveals how to actually get women fast Transcription

            • 00:00 - 00:30 so what I'm going to share with you guys in this video is pretty much one of the greatest paradoxes that I've ever come to understand about women and once you truly understand it it will forever change your life and your interactions with women forever so that's let's get right into it so if you were to ask most women out there what they actually want in a man they'll all tell you the same exact thing almost every time and what they'll say is they want a man who's responsible a man who's kind and a man
            • 00:30 - 01:00 who will be a great father to their kids it sounds pretty reasonable right it sounds pretty logical this is what they should want right if they want to further the human race and yet at the same time if you go and you actually look at the choices of these women or the actual men that they end up sleeping with if you look at the men who ultimately get them pregnant the men who they can't resist the men who they keep running back to again and again and again despite the fact that the guy keeps abandoning
            • 01:00 - 01:30 them what what you'll notice is that these men that women choose are almost never the type of guys that they say they want they're almost never the stable responsible quote unquote good guy that women say that they want instead the type of guy that women are always chasing is typically the guy who is reckless the guy who's unreliable and the guy who's dominant okay in other words the guys who are the most exciting but yet at the same time completely
            • 01:30 - 02:00 incapable of raising children so you're probably wondering why does this happen why why is this a thing why is this a paradox why is it that women seem to sleep with men who would make terrible fathers why is it the guys that the women seem to be the most attracted to are the guys who would make the worst possible fathers and then why is it that you know later on in life they settle down with a quote unquote nice guy after the damage is already done and the answer to this question as to why this works and how
            • 02:00 - 02:30 you can use it to your advantage is very deep in evolution okay so there's a biological truth about women that even women don't realize and what this is is that women do not consciously choose what excites them what gets them you know quote unquote excited they don't sit down and logically decide what exactly it is that they should look for in a man instead what happens is they feel attraction and that attraction is not based on who
            • 02:30 - 03:00 would be a great father it is based essentially on who has the strongest genetics okay and in nature the males who have the strongest genes are always the the males who are the most dominant the most risk-taking and the most uncontrollable okay so these men are dominant risk-taking and uncontrollable and these are basically the men who would have been Warriors they would have been the conquerors and the rule Breakers of ancient times times
            • 03:00 - 03:30 in other words these are the men that other men typically fear and these are also the men that after getting women pregnant they typically will never stick around okay so they are the most likely to abandon women after they get them pregnant so why women why do women separate genetics from stability so for thousands of years women have had to mate with the strongest men in order to pass on the best genes it's part of their mating
            • 03:30 - 04:00 strategy but they also needed a stable and safe man to help them raise the child that they made okay and the reason why is because if you look at all the most dominant men the Warriors the leaders the rule Breakers especially of ancient times these guys were always way too busy doing what Conquering the world and stuff like that in order to instead of sticking around and raising families so what did women do well what they did essentially in ancient times
            • 04:00 - 04:30 was they would split the job between two men so in other words what they would do or their strategy if you want to call it that is they would essentially mate with the strongest men the men who produce the best genes the ones with the best genetics in other words the ones who could make them feel something on a primal level and then what they would do next is they would settle down later with the safest man or the one who would stick around and take care of their child with him and so what you have to understand is that even though the world has
            • 04:30 - 05:00 changed biology hasn't changed at all and so typically in the modern world what happens is the average nice guy or good guy if you want to call it that is usually invisible until it's too late okay what this means is that the bottom 90% of men out there struggle with women because they're constantly leading with stability they're being the stable guy they're essentially presenting themselves as the dad and they think that by showing that they'll a good
            • 05:00 - 05:30 boyfriend showing that they'll be a good husband a good father they think that this is what women want that this is what attracts women when really it's the opposite of that okay the honest truth is that women really only start looking for stability after they've already gotten the genes that they wanted from the most dominant men and that's why so many men feel invisible to women in their 20s but suddenly they get attention in their 30s and 40s because by that point many women
            • 05:30 - 06:00 have already had kids with the dominant men who surprise surprise abandoned them and now they need someone to step in and clean up the mess essentially and so the harsh reality of this is that women will always chase chase excitement first and then they'll settle for stability later and if you ever wondered why women keep running back to toxic men if you ever been confused about why women say that they want a good father but then they keep getting with the men who would never raise a kid the men who would never be a good father well now you know
            • 06:00 - 06:30 okay this is one of the greatest paradoxes out there when it comes to women women typically separate the man that they want to quote unquote sleep with from the man that they want to build a life with okay and the men who understand this can use this to their advantage okay and so what you have to understand is that the reason why women have this strategy the reason why they have this sort of dual mating strategy
            • 06:30 - 07:00 it's it's the main reason for it is simply because if you if you were to take the majority of men out there and divide them into two categories and put them into categories of essentially fathers or the type of men that women get the good genes from what you would find is that the overwhelming majority of men out there for whatever reason they typically fall into one of these two categories okay so most men are either too much of a father or they give off too much of the father fatherly
            • 07:00 - 07:30 energy and then the other men essentially give off the maximum amount of the opposite of that okay they give off the exciting energy okay so most guys they fall into either either two the either one of these two categories okay so what this means essentially is that women if given the choice they would rather have both the good genes and the father attributes in the same guy but what you'll find is
            • 07:30 - 08:00 that they just typically can't find those two things in the same men the majority of men are either or so what that means is that most men are either the type of men that would abandon her after she you know got pregnant or they are the type of man that is not exciting doesn't have the good genes but would help her raise a child okay so it's very rare that you find these two things these two these two you know sets of attributes in the same man okay so the
            • 08:00 - 08:30 way that you can use this to your advantage is actually really simple it should be pretty obvious okay if you can be the type of guy that can give women both of these things if you're not too extreme on either end if you're not too much of the father if you're not putting out too much of the father energy but at the same time not putting out too much of the exciting energy that is ideally what women want they typically they if if they if given a choice they want the guy
            • 08:30 - 09:00 who gives them an equal amount of these things and the same guy they don't want to actually have to use two different types of men to achieve their mating strategy they want both of these sets of attributes in the same guy so if you can be the guy who's not too much of either of these things that ideally is the type of man that women actually want for both the shortterm and the long term if you just want to maximize attractiveness if you just want to max out your attractiveness
            • 09:00 - 09:30 then obviously you want to you know put out the the strong genes Vibe you want to be the guy you know you want to be seen as a guy who has a strong genes and you want to just maximize and lean into that as far as possible as heavy as possible if you just want like shortterm things but if you're a guy who actually wants to get a woman and keep her and essentially you know do the whole lifetime type of thing what you want to do is you want to optimize for the middle you want to be right in the middle of these two maybe
            • 09:30 - 10:00 with a little bit of an emphasis towards the excitement type okay because women are not attracted to the fatherly type they typically just want to use the fatherly fatherly type of guide to help them raise their kids as unfortunate as that sounds okay so if you can put yourself if you can if you can give a woman both of these sets of attributes in the same man that's pretty much the ideal situation so that said I hope you guys enjoyed this one and as always until
            • 10:00 - 10:30 next time thanks for watching