TOP 5 TIPS - How To Not Get Nervous On Dates

Summary

Derek shares his top strategies to conquer date nerves. He emphasizes speaking slowly to project a calm demeanor, sitting beside rather than across to allow physical contact, and engaging in activities to lessen conversational pressure. Additionally, he introduces phenibut as a powerful yet cautious social supplement and strongly advocates for exposure therapy by attending more dates to naturally reduce anxiety. These tips focus on building confidence through practical actions and experiences, ensuring you're relaxed and ready for successful dates!

Highlights

• Slow down your speech to sound more relaxed. 🐌
• Position yourself beside your date to increase comfort and connection. ❤️
• Engage in shared activities like bowling or mini-golf. 🎳⛳
• Phenibut can help ease social anxiety but should be used sparingly. 🚫🍻
• More dates equal less nerves: treat it as exposure therapy. 🙂

Key Takeaways

• Speak slower to appear calm and collected. 🐢
• Sit beside your date to facilitate natural physical contact. 🤝
• Choose activity-based dates for easier interaction and fun. 🎳
• Consider using Phenibut for social ease, but cautiously. 💊
• Go on more dates to naturally reduce anxiety over time. 📅

Overview

In this video, Derek provides practical advice to stay calm and collected on dates. His first tip is to slow down your speech, which not only helps in managing nervousness but also makes you appear more confident and composed. This practice allows for more thoughtful interaction and eases the conversational flow.

He suggests adjusting your seating arrangements—sitting beside your date rather than across—to naturally increase physical intimacy. Activities-based dates are recommended as they provide opportunities for playful interaction and relieve the pressure of constant conversation, making it a fun and comfortable setting.

Finally, Derek touches on the use of phenibut as a means to manage social anxiety, though he advises caution due to its potential for dependency. The ultimate solution, he asserts, is exposure therapy; by going on more dates, one can diminish anxiety and become more at ease in social settings, ultimately leading to better dating experiences.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 03:00: Introduction and Tip #1: Talk Slower In the introductory chapter, Derek from More Plates More Dates introduces his video on the top five tips to avoid getting nervous on dates. He acknowledges that dating can be nerve-racking, especially for those who are inexperienced. The first tip discussed is to 'Talk Slower.' He highlights the common nervous habit of speaking too quickly and emphasizes the importance of slowing down to maintain fluid and comfortable conversation on dates.
• 03:00 - 05:00: Tip #2: Sit Beside Her In this chapter, the author shares a tip for dating: sitting beside the woman during a date. The emphasis is on maintaining a calm and relaxed demeanor, even when feeling nervous. To achieve this, the author suggests consciously focusing on speaking more slowly. This strategy not only helps manage nervousness but also extends the conversation's duration without requiring as much to be said, which can be beneficial for individuals new to dating.
• 05:00 - 07:00: Tip #3: Do an Activity for the Date The chapter provides advice on how to appear more relaxed and confident during a date. It highlights the importance of speaking slowly and clearly, which not only gives you time to process your thoughts but also makes you seem calm and composed. It includes an example asking the reader to practice saying 'How was your weekend?' quickly versus slowly, demonstrating that a fast delivery can come off as anxious or nervous.
• 07:00 - 09:00: Tip #4: Consider Using Phenibut The chapter discusses the idea of coming across as cool, calm, and relaxed during interactions, especially on dates. It emphasizes the importance of not forcing oneself to appear 'cool' but rather aiming to be composed and calm, which naturally leads to being perceived as cool. For instance, taking the simple action of saying a sentence slower can make one appear more experienced and confident, enhancing one's presence in social situations.
• 09:00 - 12:00: Tip #5: Exposure Therapy - Go on More Dates This chapter emphasizes the importance of exposure therapy in dating by encouraging individuals to go on more dates. It highlights a practical tip of sitting beside your date instead of across from them. This positioning promotes physical touch, which is considered crucial for success in dating. The chapter suggests that physical interaction, such as a friendly hug at the start or teasing gestures throughout the date, can significantly enhance the dating experience by establishing a physical connection early on.
• 12:00 - 13:00: Conclusion The chapter emphasizes the importance of physical touch in building a connection during a date. It suggests incorporating physical gestures like holding hands, placing an arm around the person, or playfully squeezing a bicep early and frequently during the interaction. This advice is given to avoid the awkward tension that might arise if no physical connection has been established by the end of the date, making moments like a goodnight kiss less uncomfortable.

TOP 5 TIPS - How To Not Get Nervous On Dates Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 sup guys this is Derek from more plates more dates calm today we're gonna be talking about my top five tips on how to not get nervous on dates obviously dates can be nerve-racking especially if you've not been on very many so these are my top five kind of tips and tricks to help you ease your nerves going into dates so the first one talks slower one thing that's very common on dates is to get flustered when it comes to having fluid conversation it can be really intimidating thinking about sitting with
• 00:30 - 01:00 an attractive woman that you don't know for an hour or longer and maintaining a calm and chilled out demeanor when I get nervous I tend to speak quicker and stumble on my words a bit one strategy I started implementing that helps tremendously was to consciously focus on speaking slower not only does it eat up a significantly greater amount of time speaking slowly so which makes the date you know you don't have to say as much stuff on the date whereas if you're not if you're brand new to dating that's
• 01:00 - 01:30 gonna be a good thing for you but it also makes you appear far more cool and calm and collected ID allows you more time to process your thoughts into coherent coherent sentences as well even if you try it yourself right now you could let's just say say the words how was your weekend just pretend you're across from a woman right now say that how was your weekend and say it's super fast how was your weekend that sounds really anxious panic nervous
• 01:30 - 02:00 uncool and inexperienced and that's the last thing you want to come across us so now pretend you're in the same scenario and you say the same sentence much slower how was your weekend comes across way smoother cooler calm and like a guy who's actually been on a date before which is what you want to come across on dates so don't aim to be like cool instead aim to be calm and relaxed and the cool being cool happens it's kind of
• 02:00 - 02:30 a side effect of that so speak slower sit beside her instead of across from her his tip number to you so this helps on a variety of different levels so firstly sitting across from each other prevents you from being able to touch the girl at all which will greatly reduce your chances of getting physical one of the main keys to success on any date is getting physical as early as possible whether that be a friendly hug when you first meet her teasing gestures throughout the day to putting
• 02:30 - 03:00 your hand on her thigh holding your hand putting your arm around or squeezing your bicep while making a joke about working out whatever it is you need to do it early and often so think about it this way if you go on a date and you sit across the table from a girl talking about life and work and other random stuff for an hour or longer and then you walk her to her car to kiss her goodnight and you haven't touched her once the entire date now you have to awkwardly break through this tension that's built up over that entire hour whereas on the other hand if you've been
• 03:00 - 03:30 physical the hold the holding your hand having your arm around her etc and now you're walking her back to her car the kiss isn't just less awkward it's also pretty much expected because you've been kind of working your way up to that and the entire date and she's already comfortable with you like interpersonal bubbles so to speak so basically if you don't touch the girl for the entire hour and then try to kiss her goodnight or bring her home to sleep with you it's gonna be far less likely to occur and be successful and not be
• 03:30 - 04:00 awkward as hell if you're not making contact throughout the date so sitting across the table from a girl just feels impersonal as well it's like interviewing almost and that's not the way you want it to go so it feels weird sitting beside her right away like you get seated at a restaurant or something like say you're going to get a drink at a bar somewhere and you're at a table across from each other obviously the
• 04:00 - 04:30 waitress or waiter is gonna seat you across from each other just have a pre-planned strategy in place to have an excuse to move to sip a cider so an example of this is I used to have a picture on my phone of something funny that I would typically talk about on dates and once that topic came up in the date I would say here I'll show you I might show you something on my phone and then I'd get up and they'd sit beside her and I'd show her on my phone we'd laugh about it and then from there on I would you know like physically escalate and be more touchy-touchy throughout the date kind
• 04:30 - 05:00 of thing and this helps a lot so find an excuse to sit beside her number three do an activity for the date so this is a great tip for guys who are very inexperienced conversationalist and guys who haven't been on very many dates and aren't comfortable with you know like the thought of having fluid conversations honestly I'm not a huge fan of spending a bunch of money on first dates as it is completely nonsensical to completely or
• 05:00 - 05:30 continuously take girls out for fancy dinners on first dates when only a small fraction of those first dates are actually going to convert into people you're sleeping with and even a smaller fraction that is going to convert into you know like long-term potential partners so my typical first day is going to a nice bar and getting one drink and having conversation getting to know each other for an hour or so or going for a walk at a place with nice
• 05:30 - 06:00 scenery like the beach seawall park etc these are both super cheap or free and give you the same result as an activity date if you can actually hold a decent conversation and touch early and often but activity days despite being more expensive it affords you the opportunity to have more of an excuse to touch and more of an excuse to not speak without it being awkward so some examples of great activity dates are you know like
• 06:00 - 06:30 bowling playing pool mini-golf anything that it doesn't involve you stationary sitting where you have to rely entirely on conversation and nonverbal flirting like game is like a good activity date pretty much like bowling for an example gives you the opportunity to constantly give the girl high-fives and give other flirty gestures that you wouldn't otherwise be able to do in a verbal dominated setting like getting a drink at the bar it also doesn't require you to rely so
• 06:30 - 07:00 heavily on your conversation skills because you're gonna be pulling the entire date laughing and having fun together so that's kind of a good way to ease yourself into the dating process as well and have a lot of successful dates where the girl's not feeling you know weirded out and awkward as well because you're more comfortable and things are just running a lot smoother because you're not both having to rely on your elaborate conversational
• 07:00 - 07:30 skills off the back kind of thing fourth tip phenibut phenibut is Bar None the greatest pro-social supplement ever created in my opinion obviously the I'm not recommending you take it this is just something I do that helps tremendously for some individuals phenibut can literally completely destroy your inhibitions like alcohol would without any of the sloppy side effects with like loss of motor skills and other things that come from a night of drinking and I think it's a pretty
• 07:30 - 08:00 remarkable supplement and it's been a huge part of my life for the better of the last six years and I don't drink or rely on recreational drugs at all for anxiety relief like some guys you know take tons of [ __ ] before they go to the club or bar or whatever so they can feel you know mentally free enough to go hit on girls and stuff like that instead I used phenibut if I use anything at all it affects the same GABA receptors in
• 08:00 - 08:30 the brain that alcohol does which result and decrease in anxiety and social inhibitions but without the negative side effects associated with alcohol I use it infrequently because it's not something you can use frequently you develop a tolerance to it and eventually you build up you can get side effects if you use it way too much so I would use it no more than twice a week max if you want to read more about phenibut I wrote a phenibut article a while back that you can check out or you can check out the video on my channel yeah it's been a
• 08:30 - 09:00 huge part of my life since early late 2012 approximately and it's been a huge help not only in just busting through you know anxiety on dates but as well and job interviews and you know like business presentations standing in front of a bunch of people and just any situation in general which would spike your anxiety levels in terms of like a social capacity it works fantastic for us so that's definitely
• 09:00 - 09:30 something you should check it as well I'm gonna link the recommended vendor that I use in the description box below as well that you can check out it's where I get my finna but from the last tip number five exposure there the exposure therapy going on more dates so obviously the number one way to stop being afraid of something is via exposure therapy and a lot of it so that this is honestly the best tip I can give
• 09:30 - 10:00 out of everything and I promise you if you start going on lots of dates you'll notice that your nerves will drastically go down and eventually disappear completely eventually you'll realize there's nothing to fear and you'll be so used to going on dates that they will no longer be a big deal to you one thing one sub tip of this that I can give a stop focusing so much on the outcome of the dates and just go on the days knowing that each date you go on is
• 10:00 - 10:30 getting you one step closer to you know getting rid of that fear and molding you into a better more social and personable version of yourself so if you do this a lot eventually you'll notice that you're completely outcome independent because you have so much experience are not nervous whatsoever and no and you know that if it doesn't work out with this girl that you're out on a date with there are millions of others that you can and will still meet and that's a very important thing to understand a lot
• 10:30 - 11:00 of guys when they you know they go out with like their first 10 and a 10 chick or whatever they get super outcome dependent and they get in their head about it and they you know they just [ __ ] destroy the date because and they'd kill their chances because they're so outcome dependent and it just like it comes across to the girl and she can sense that and you're not yourself you're not smooth you're not calm you're not collected when your outcome depended so once you've reached this level of
• 11:00 - 11:30 complete outcome independence you will notice your results start skyrocketing and it will be reflected in your overall demeanor and the way you come across the women so you want tons of dates seriously like even if you have to if you're brand-new to dating I even recommend going out with people you're not necessarily super interested in because the more you go out the more you kill your anxiety and the closer you get to being the best version of yourself possible in a dating capacity so anyways
• 11:30 - 12:00 that's my talk five tips hope you guys liked it please like subscribe comment check out my blog more plates more dates comm subscribe there thank you guys for watching authorities soon