“you look like you date white guys”

Summary

Highlights

• Opened up about fears influenced by Diana Ross's family dynamics 🎤
• Discussed societal judgments on interracial relationships in the US 🇺🇸
• Advocated for open-mindedness in exploring dating options 🌍

Key Takeaways

• Embrace dating diversity but remember cultural identity matters 🌈
• Interracial dating doesn't mean disowning your community 👫
• Breaking stereotypes can be liberating yet challenging 🚀

Overview

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction to Discussion on Interracial Relationships The chapter begins with a discussion on interracial relationships, sparked by a comment and interactions on Instagram. The speaker shares a personal anecdote, revealing a fear from their youth about following in the footsteps of Diana Ross, who married a white man. This leads to reflections on the mixed race of their children and eventually grandchildren. The conversation sets the stage for a deeper exploration of the nuances and personal experiences associated with interracial relationships.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Black Love and Personal Experiences The chapter discusses the perception of racial identity across generations, especially when it comes to mixed-race families. The speaker humorously highlights how, over time, children with a famous Black ancestor like Diana Ross might feel an entitlement to aspects of Black culture, such as using the N-word, despite appearing white. There is a personal reflection on the speaker's unwavering support for Black love, celebrating wholesome Black couples and expressing deep admiration for them.
• 01:00 - 01:30: Views on Race and Interracial Relationships The chapter discusses the author's candid views on race and interracial relationships, emphasizing their comfort in discussing these topics openly despite potential discomfort from others. The author expresses surprise at people's reactions to their opinions and highlights their commitment to addressing race when necessary, showing no hesitation in bringing it up if relevant to the discussion. They also handle persistent questions on these topics with a clear and strong stance, indicating they will ignore repetitive inquiries.
• 01:30 - 02:00: Love for Black Women The chapter discusses the recurring theme of race in the United States and highlights the different reactions when racial issues are addressed by people of different ethnic backgrounds. The author notes how figures like Wendy Williams have been vocal about racial issues, pointing out the disparity in how racial discussions are received depending on the race of the person bringing them up. The chapter emphasizes that while race continues to be a pivotal issue in the US, it is often dismissed or minimized, especially when highlighted by black individuals.
• 02:00 - 02:30: Dating Preferences and Experiences The chapter explores dating preferences and experiences, touching on racial dynamics in romantic relationships. It discusses the speaker's strong affection for black women, emphasizing that this love has overtaken any previous feelings for black men. The narrator mentions a common perception that they might resent black men, a sentiment discussed in earlier videos. The narrative challenges traditional racial preferences, especially highlighting a tendency towards white men, and stresses a misunderstood portrayal of personal inclinations.
• 02:30 - 03:00: Stereotypes and Insecurities in Dating The chapter discusses the impact of seeing negative male figures from one's own racial group and how this experience can influence dating preferences. The speaker acknowledges the perception of others who might believe that dating outside one's race is a rejection of all males within one's race. The narrative explores the complexities of these emotions and clarifies that dating decisions are not a generalized statement against an entire race, but rather influenced by personal experiences with individuals.
• 03:00 - 03:30: Interracial Dating Misconceptions In this chapter, the narrator addresses and debunks misconceptions about interracial dating, specifically focusing on relationships with black men. They clarify that they have never rejected someone solely based on their race, but rather considered individual treatment and personality. The narrator shares their admiration for black male figures, mentioning Denzel Washington as a childhood hero and father figure. The narrative also touches on the narrator's biases, revealing an initial reluctance to date white men. Overall, the chapter dives into personal experiences and reflections on race and dating.
• 03:30 - 04:00: Challenges for Black Women and Men The chapter discusses the speaker's experiences and perspectives on interracial dating, reflecting on their upbringing surrounded by examples of black love. As they explore relationships in adulthood, they emphasize prioritizing qualities such as success, effort, and kindness over racial considerations when choosing a partner.
• 04:00 - 04:30: Interracial Relationships and Criticism The chapter explores the stereotypes and assumptions faced by individuals in interracial relationships, particularly focusing on black women who date outside their race. It highlights the criticism they receive from both potential partners and social media. The narrative includes personal anecdotes of how black women are often judged or stereotyped based on their 'aesthetic'—a term used to imply a certain style or presence that others interpret as indicative of their dating preferences. The conversational tone underscores the frustration at being pigeonholed into racial dating preferences that don't align with individual choices. The chapter challenges the narrow perceptions of attraction and dating preferences rooted in racial bias.
• 04:30 - 05:00: Experiences and Options in Dating The chapter delves into the societal perceptions and stereotyping in dating, particularly focusing on the challenges faced by black women. It discusses how people often jump to conclusions about them based on their demeanor and speech patterns, and the assumptions around interracial relationships. The chapter raises awareness on the increasing prevalence of interracial dating in the United States and expresses empathy towards black individuals who pursue relationships outside their race, acknowledging the unique difficulties they face.
• 05:00 - 05:30: Realizations and Open-mindedness in Dating In this chapter, the discussion revolves around the dating experiences of black women and men. It highlights the perception that some black women fetishize white men, while others have simply expanded their dating preferences after repeated negative experiences with black men. It acknowledges that some black women have reached a point of exhaustion after numerous unsuccessful attempts to date within their race and have chosen to broaden their horizons.
• 05:30 - 06:00: Conclusion on Community and Dating Choices The chapter discusses the complex dynamics of interracial dating, particularly focusing on black men's experiences. It mentions the challenges and societal perceptions faced by black men who choose to date outside their race. The conversation touches on the idea that some black men may explore dating outside their race after facing difficulties or feeling unsatisfied within their own race. It also acknowledges that a small percentage of black men might prefer to date outside their race due to a lack of interest in black women initially. The overall theme explores personal choices within the broader context of racial and dating dynamics.

“you look like you date white guys” Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 hello everyone so I thought I would come on and just kind of have a quick discussion so there was one comment in particular that really caught my attention and I kind of wanted to expand all that and also there's some people on Instagram like I've never went into true depth about interracial relationships don't lie y'all one of my biggest fears growing up was pulling a Diana Ross like Diana Ross got married to a white man they had kids the kids ended up being a white partner so they had grandkids and
• 00:30 - 01:00 the grand the grandkids at that point are white I don't care what no one says the grandkids are white and it just keeps going and going and going and going until people realize that Diana Ross is your great- grandmother so you think you're allowed to see the N word I was like please please have mercy I beg I beg please growing up for the longest time I was solely 100% you know all about Black love I still am like every time I see like a wholehearted wholesome black couple I'm like healthy black love had the biggest crushes I do like the moment someone
• 01:00 - 01:30 talks about Method Man my heart starts to thump in my stomach gets knots it's really surprising a lot of people feel that I'm not for that and I'm not going to say this [ __ ] again so if you having to come across another video and you ask this I'm going just completely ignore you you're going to be S looking crazy one thing you need to know about me I am not afraid about talking about race I will bring up race if it is completely necessary I feel like a lot of people are uncomfortable when trying to bring race into topics but if it needs to be brought in I have no hesitation about
• 01:30 - 02:00 bringing it in growing up I was a big fan of Wendy Williams and Wendy Williams always brought up race when it was needed and sadly this is the US and the US loves to make everything about race and when a white person calls it out they're like yeah this is crazy this is ridiculous but then when a black person brings up the race oh get over that that was hundreds of years ago why are you still talking about that [ __ ] it plays a vital part the US well really the whole world but I'm going specifically say the US the United States is
• 02:00 - 02:30 literally for white people specifically white men I think we should know that by now and if you don't now y'all need to understand for me I love love love black women I love I love black women the way that I share my love and my and my compassion my empathy for black women that my love for black women has completely overshadow my love for black men and I think a lot of people feel that I resent black men I mentioned in a few videos back where I was like I
• 02:30 - 03:00 didn't really see the best black male figures in my life and that's just a sad truth that's a harsh reality am I here to say that all black men are terrible no am I here to say black men are are completely dateless and they should be single no felt a lot of people felt that that was weird to say because now that my boyfriend is white a lot of people oh so you're saying all black men are trash you only dat white men because the black man that you saw growing up was trash hey you know what honestly maybe so but let me tell you something something I've never ever
• 03:00 - 03:30 turned down a black man simply because he was black I may have stopped dating a black person because of the way that he treated me but I never was like oh my God you're black I'm not going to date you oh my God you're a trash man because you're black hell no plenty of black male Representatives that I had just wasn't in real life like one of the biggest people I looked up to as a child was danzel Washington I used to pretend Danel Washington was my dad for the longest time I did not give white men the chance I was just like I
• 03:30 - 04:00 don't know because I never really I don't know what it's like to date interracially because like I said all I saw growing up was black love I didn't really see interracial love like that now that I'm older and now that I'm trying to experiment and see like which partner is the best for me am I automatically going to go to white man Hy y know if a if I wasn't in my current relationship and there was a man that approached me I wouldn't give a [ __ ] if he was black as long as he was successful trying his best has a sweet kind personality I don't really give a
• 04:00 - 04:30 [ __ ] what color you are I would uh be on dates with black men the first thing they would say was like oh I love your aesthetic or oh man I'm feeling you but I bet you dated white guys huh I bet because your athetic you like white guys you dated white boys huh I bet you only like white boys I'm like [ __ ] I'm on a date with you what are you talking about right now I'm I'm talking I'm engaging with you how sadly you have you know black women on uh social media platforms saying I can tell when a black girl dates only white men you know the tuck behind the ear and the aesthetic and
• 04:30 - 05:00 she's so soft and well spoken I'm like oh my God the moment a black girl is soft spoken and and you know has a higher vocabulary y'all automatically Su shees with a white man that's the weirdest [ __ ] I've ever heard so focused on interracial dating when interracial dating is the highest has ever been in the UN United States at a whopping 7% y'all [ __ ] and [ __ ] feel really bad for black people who try to date outside their race because I feel it's
• 05:00 - 05:30 different for black men and black women I'm going to get into that in a sec but with black women a lot of people feel that black women fetishize white men and some dude like I've come across women in my life who were like I only want white men and I stick to white men and they will tell me why but overall most of the black women that I see dat outside their race it's because they kept giving black men a chance after chance after chance after chance after chance after chance after chance and I'm not going to lie [ __ ] are tired [ __ ] are sick and they said you know what let me expand my options and that's when they start
• 05:30 - 06:00 dating the white men for black men it's it could be vice versa like black men are just like I've tried and try and try I can't do it let me expand my options but sadly it's a harsher reality for when black men mostly date outside the race not all okay I won't even say mostly I think that's I think that's a bit unfair sometimes a few percentage of black men when they date outside um their race is because they didn't like black women from the jump It's completely different and I'm
• 06:00 - 06:30 not saying it's the case for all the time for both of them the type of energy that we pick up on it we could totally be wrong that's what people don't understand you might have like a hunch or an accusation but it can 100% be wrong we see in racial C oh I bet they don't like black people I bet they don't like their kind but they don't like their own it's just like uh pause pause pause rewind let's go back fast forward take the tape out rearrange it put it back in what the problem about interracial relationships is not the problem we should be focusing on the problem problem itself is when you were
• 06:30 - 07:00 dating outside of your race and you're speaking ill of your own another thing too when people assume that white people are the better dating option no I've had my bad horrible experiences share trauma with white men as well I I said you know what um I'm going just go back to fantasizing about just having a boyfriend and just leaving everybody alone because everybody sucks it's not just I think we put white people on the pedestal that they really don't deserve
• 07:00 - 07:30 I'm I'm here to tell you right now just because they're white does not mean they're any better growing up you may have like had bad experiences with black men you might have bad experiences with black women but the fact that that automatically leads instead of you getting that fix and instead of you trying to heal and get therapy and try to figure out why that might bother you so much you automatically go to white people you automatically go to Asian people you automatically go to I'm from Indiana so the the the the bar is is is for men in general is it's pretty L and
• 07:30 - 08:00 I had to go outside of Indianapolis I said oh let me try you know Ohio that didn't work you know let me try Virginia that sure as hell didn't work you know let me try Chicago [ __ ] as hell didn't work I asked a poll on Instagram and most I was surprised that most women black women said that they would date interracially because the women I know I when I asked him like Hey would you date inally or stay with black men most of them said I would stay with black men so
• 08:00 - 08:30 I do think outside of the internet black women are the least likely to date outside of the race because they feel honestly they're just attracted to black men like I said as am I but I am willing to go I'm willing to try other things I'm willing to see what happens if I date someone white if I date someone Asian if I cuz you never know and I think that is okay I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as you're not bringing down black men in the process I may have had my
• 08:30 - 09:00 negative experiences with black men but I don't really generalize them as a whole what I saw growing up was a product of my community this specific community so that's why I started going outside of the states going inside of my city and seeing black man and for the most part it was pretty decent other times it wasn't and I said hold on now let me try something else and I think that's where I've led to today