Exclusive Gabe Newell Interview at Valve HQ | Silvermania

Summary

In a humorous and satirical fashion, Silvermania releases an entertaining interview video from Valve headquarters featuring Gabe Newell. As part of the shenanigans, the team conducts an unsanctioned filming in the facility and poses quirky, irreverent questions to Gabe, who responds in an equally unconventional and humorous manner. The video plays up outlandish dialogue, imaginative game concepts like the 'Cleveland Steambox,' and jumps into personal anecdotes with a comedic twist, all while hinting at Valve's unique company culture and their reluctance towards media exposure, particularly about projects like Half-Life 3.

Highlights

• The Silvermania team humorously breaks the rules by filming inside Valve HQ. 🎥
• Gabe Newell gives eccentric and entertaining responses to interview questions. 🤪
• Discussions on future game concepts from Valve stir both interest and laughter. 😆
• Quirky exchanges about Valve's console ventures, including the 'Cleveland Steambox'. 🎮
• Jokes about gaming industry trends and Half-Life 3 tease audiences with humor. 🕹️

Key Takeaways

• Gabe Newell humorously critiques the gaming industry, predicting a downhill trajectory. 🎮
• Valve's new console, the 'Cleveland Steambox,' comes with a quirky and unexpected backstory. 🚀
• The interview features a mix of humor and satire, reflecting a carefree attitude from both Silvermania and Gabe Newell. 😂
• Gabe's reluctance to discuss Half-Life 3 continues to fuel speculation and humor. 🤔
• Valves' secrecy and non-traditional approach to media exposure were highlighted, adding a sense of intrigue. 🔍

Overview

Silvermania's crew humorously investigates the mysterious and quirky environment at Valve's headquarters in Bellevue, Washington. Despite restrictions on filming, the team sneaks in their cameras, adding an element of rebellion and fun to the proceedings. The video maintains a light and irreverent tone throughout, capturing the playful dynamics of both the interviewers and the notably elusive interviewee, Gabe Newell.

Gabe Newell, known for his work at Valve and his intriguing industry perspectives, embraces the comedic setup by giving unconventional answers to the questions posed. Topics range from the future of gaming, company projects like the 'Cleveland Steambox,' to enigmatic game titles such as Portal and Left 4 Dead. His responses, layered with satirical undertones, hint at certain truths and myths that surround the legendary gaming company.

Throughout the interview, the team and Gabe engage in bizarrely entertaining dialogues filled with imaginative terms and scenarios that provoke laughter and curiosity. By blending facts with hilarity, the interview not only entertains but also accentuates the enigmatic culture prevalent at Valve, leaving viewers both amused and inquisitive about the less publicized sides of the gaming giant's operations.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction at Valve HQ The chapter introduces the context of being at Valve Headquarters in Bellevue, Washington. The narrator, Silver Mania, explains they have been asked to interview a person named Gene, as the intended interviewers from Los Angeles were unable to arrive in time. Despite being instructed not to film inside the headquarters, they express their intention to do so anyway and are in the process of locating their interviewee.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Exploring Valve Headquarters The chapter titled 'Exploring Valve Headquarters' explores various aspects and moments inside the Valve company offices. The narrator mentions conference rooms and humorously references jumping out of a window as a metaphor for excitement or disbelief. They also highlight some impressive concept art related to the game Portal. The chapter ends with a light interaction possibly in a new room or office, suggesting casual and friendly encounters between people at Valve.
• 01:00 - 01:30: Meeting Gabe Newell The chapter titled 'Meeting Gabe Newell' begins with a focus on trophies, indicating a celebratory or significant occasion. The scene involves characters admiring or presenting trophies, with one person mentioning an 'Atlas statue,' suggesting a location or symbolic reference within a game-related environment. The main event centers around waiting for 'Gabe,' presumably referring to Gabe Newell, a notable figure in the gaming industry. Individuals identified as Justin, Jared, Rob, and Anita make their appearance, signifying their involvement or interest in the occasion. The atmosphere appears casual and anticipatory as the group waits for Gabe's arrival, indicating a meetup with him is imminent and creating a sense of excitement or importance.
• 01:30 - 03:00: Discussing Gaming Industry The chapter begins with an informal introduction to Mr. Newell, who prefers to be called Gabe. The atmosphere is slightly tense as the conversation is about to delve into the topic of the gaming industry. The participants are preparing to ask questions and discuss various elements related to gaming, and there is an eagerness to explore the subject deeply.
• 03:00 - 05:30: Valve's New Projects and Innovations In this chapter titled 'Valve's New Projects and Innovations', the discussion starts with a critical perspective on the current state of the gaming industry, implying dissatisfaction. There is a brief, non-elaborated expression of this sentiment. Gabe then predicts a bleak future for the industry, humorously suggesting it will be 'down the toilet,' indicating a possible decline or ongoing challenges in the industry over the next decade. The context or reasoning behind these opinions is not fully explored in the provided transcript.
• 05:30 - 07:00: Discussion on Sequels and New IPs The chapter discusses the future direction of the gaming industry, focusing on the relationship and potential convergence between PC and console gaming. The conversation highlights Valve's entry into the console market with their new system, the Steam Box, humorously referred to as the 'cleveland steam box.' There is an implication of the gaming industry evolving, although specific details remain unaddressed in the excerpt.
• 07:00 - 08:30: Possible Movie Adaptations and Collaborations The chapter "Possible Movie Adaptations and Collaborations" delves into an irreverent and humorous discussion, beginning with an odd analogy to the 'Cleveland Steamer' before pivoting to a more relevant topic. The primary focus is on whether the company Valve, known for its digital gaming platform, would venture into the portable handheld gaming market. This market is dominated by established devices like the Game Boy and PlayStation Vita. The discussion touches on the practicality and potential strategy of Valve developing their own portable gaming device, exploring the possibilities and challenges inherent in such a move.
• 08:30 - 10:00: Team Fortress 2 Updates This chapter humorously discusses a fictional portable device known as the 'Cleveland steamer' that one could take into the bathroom for personal 'Jack pleasure.' The conversation includes colloquial terms for self-pleasure, adding a comedic and informal tone to the discussion.
• 10:00 - 11:30: Fan Content and Past Experiences The chapter discusses the reasoning behind naming the company Valve, hinting at creative decision factors, though the specific details aren't explicitly mentioned. The conversation also explores the potential direction for Valve's next original intellectual property, considering various successful past games like Portal, Left 4 Dead, and Half-Life. There's an emphasis on anticipation for something groundbreaking and new, with a humorous reference to 'ass portal.'
• 11:30 - 13:00: Company Policies and Rivalries The chapter, titled 'Company Policies and Rivalries,' touches on the subjects of competition and achievements within the gaming industry. A conversation unfolds about various groundbreaking games, such as Half-Life 2 and Portal. There is a jesting mention of 'Morgan Freeman,' likely a humorous mix-up with 'Gordon Freeman,' the protagonist of Half-Life series. Jokingly, Left for Dead is mentioned as not being as groundbreaking as the latest release, Portal, hinting at internal rivalries or preferences for certain game titles over others. The discussion might implicitly reflect on sentiments about company policies promoting competition among game titles for accolades such as 'game of the year.'
• 13:00 - 16:00: Conclusion and Final Thoughts The chapter discusses the demand for sequels to popular Valve games such as Half-Life 2 Episode Three, Portal 3, Left 4 Dead 3, Team Fortress 3, and Half-Life 3. It mentions the public's keen interest and the speculation around Valve's reluctance to release the third installment in these series, jokingly noting that the company seems to be 'allergic to the number three.'

Exclusive Gabe Newell Interview at Valve HQ | Silvermania Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 hey this is silver mania we are in Bellevue Washington and there is valve headquarters right there so the game station was asked to interview gave you all or unfortunately they're all from LA and they couldn't get here quick enough so they're letting us do it because we've been the closest to the Bellevue Washington so we're gonna head inside now and try and find gene but they told us that we're not allowed to film inside but we're going to anyway all right look looks like valves waiting room we're trying to find
• 00:30 - 01:00 conference rooms three what do you think valve ado have I just jumped out of this window and killed myself I'll check this out we got some sweet concept art from Portal all right here we go my new room oh hey man how's it going I didn't pull yourself much
• 01:00 - 01:30 trophies trophies there we go trip look at all the trophies I'll meet the pyro and everyone else Jarret check out the Atlas statue with that with Hey hi are you from the game station yeah from the game station Justin Jared and Rob hi how you doing Anita hi um games should be here probably about five minutes or so so um just make yourselves comfortable and you
• 01:30 - 02:00 should be in here shortly okay thanks freaking out a little you know hey how's it going fine greetings all right mr. Newell I got some questions for you call me Gabe okay thanks all right first question what do
• 02:00 - 02:30 you think of the current state of the gaming industry it sucks you care to elaborate hmm not really all right Gabe where do you think the gaming industry will be in the next 10 years mm down the [ __ ] you know the toilet the third flue and why will the gaming
• 02:30 - 03:00 industry be down the turd flume within 10 years I can't answer that you can't or you won't I won't answer that oh okay all right well I guess we'll go to the next question here okay so your company valve is generally a PC gaming company but you're assuming leasing your first console system the steam box so do you think console and PC gaming will ever fully converge yes we're good we're gonna go ahead with our cleveland steam box if you called it the cleveland steam
• 03:00 - 03:30 box that's correct it's just opposed to me just the steam box well it's a cleveland steambox that came from the Cleveland steamer you know the act of dropping a log on a girl's chest it's a real turd of the system with the cleveland steam box coming out what valve ever consider entering the portable handheld gaming market with their own device much like the Game Boy or the PlayStation Vita hmm good question
• 03:30 - 04:00 the portable Cleveland steamer could be taken with you into the [ __ ] you know you can they'll provide you some Jack pleasure if you're in the toilet hey you know whatever you need it for could you define Jack pleasure you know fapping on the twelve roughing up the subject beating up the bishop taking matters into your own hand you
• 04:00 - 04:30 know so a lot of people already know why you call the company valve but not really from yourself could you give us some insight well we kind of made it from a valve Jonah okay with valves next original intellectual property do you think it'll be like portal a puzzle adventure game left for dead a multiplayer co-op half-life a story driven first-person shooter or something new and completely groundbreaking some new and groundbreaking called ass portal I'm here to delve into the colon we have you
• 04:30 - 05:00 know you have some of your own games laying on here would you like to talk about some of those okay we have half-life 2 here hey we got Morgan Freeman here and some who were here game of the year I don't know how that happened left for dead should have been left for dead it doesn't come close to our new groundbreaking ass portal
• 05:00 - 05:30 okay so now about actual valve games in particular the sequels it seems like your company is allergic to the number three boom there's been a public outcry for any information about half-life 2 episode three portal 3 left 4 dead 3 Team Fortress 3 and of course half-life 3 could you give us any details on these upcoming potential sequels never had a
• 05:30 - 06:00 threesome no no would you like to okay with who me and Morgan Freeman since you've been talking to film director JJ Abrams recently can you give us any further details about a possible half-life movie in the works no really that's confidential information so why did you pick director JJ Abrams the director of Star Trek and the
• 06:00 - 06:30 upcoming Star Wars films he was ready to take the snow dog challenge a snow dog that's a cocaine covered turd it's a prize that's one of the prize in our ask portal game is is a snow dog the real thing oh it's real it's real son what why would you put took it well again why
• 06:30 - 07:00 would you put cocaine on a turd like well why would someone ingest that through an addict that's part of the prize so someone who's addicted to cocaine will be given a cocaine cover turn and though and if someone will give it to now as a joke because they'll know that they'll eat it that's right that's how jay-z got in the Illuminati that's why Beyonce a [ __ ] breath okay some of our fans want to know are there
• 07:00 - 07:30 any special upcoming hats for Team Fortress 2 we got the [ __ ] Boyle had coming out and you know we have a snow dog hat tinfoil hat it's to protect you from this prick Obama who's who's running the country's crack-smoking [ __ ] who's born in our country now try to run it into the ground the tinfoil hats gonna protect you and the rest of our fan base if you don't wear it you're just gonna
• 07:30 - 08:00 become part of the rest of the zombie civilization we got going on the Sheep oh the you know it's going to protect you from waves microwaves that are rampant through the air you know chemtrails and drones any of that [ __ ] the HAARP transmitter of course what are your thoughts on fan
• 08:00 - 08:30 generated content like YouTube remixes and skits some featuring yourself and do you consider them to be a valuable part of the steam community as a form of mass communication the steam community yeah the steam community the steamer community steam is a product you sell oh it's [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm not a man that likes to be mocked they're called fat your career has been extremely successful from Microsoft to valve but
• 08:30 - 09:00 what are you most thankful for I don't have to work with that [ __ ] Bill Gates anymore I'm pretty sure Bill Gates is married to Melinda Gates and he's very heterosexual that's a beard that's a cover-up for his [ __ ] [ __ ] so our fans voted and this was the number one question to ask you um is the cake really a lie cake it is the cake really a lie no nope now to
• 09:00 - 09:30 piss cake from a urinal you ever [ __ ] me your own son I can't say I have but at the end of the day someone always has to clean that turd out that's what I feel about the cake so the cake is a urinal cake mmm this cake if you will so any more questions son I'm stuck
• 09:30 - 10:00 they call me Cassius Clay where are you guys from not a game station the gape station the gay station or the gape station what do you mean by cape like a
• 10:00 - 10:30 gaping [ __ ] like a giant gaping anus uncle gob see that was my uncle he was gay and we seem to think they called him Ghazi because he would get two decks and no gum gum gum gum gum gum gum gum we're not sure though and they said and this
• 10:30 - 11:00 giant poodle named Eric who always had a [ __ ] Red Rocket going on why how could a dog be that horny all right Gabe pretty recently Team Fortress 2 has finally brought to Linux are you trying to unite all of the computer operating systems Linux you can call me gate by the way you mean you can - with that
• 11:00 - 11:30 [ __ ] penguin that operating system I think it's called upon to bukhan - and I'm not sure if the penguin is actually a homosexual oh my bad who contact intake so valve is a very kind of secretive corporation in the regards that you don't do many interviews and thank you again for this interview it's been really great you don't really let people record inside
• 11:30 - 12:00 the facility here could you tell us why that is not really we have a lot of trade secrets we don't want it to get out a lot of snow dog testing in the back that gets out we're [ __ ] all right so recently you pretty much attacked Apple saying that Apple computing company is the next big rival for steam and valve could you elaborate more on that apple's [ __ ] overpriced
• 12:00 - 12:30 garbage for trendy hipsters so how is valve a gaming company gonna compete against Apple I don't know I don't know the answer to this one so final question if you don't mind sure is half-life 3 in development what are you guys hungry I'm gonna get some food for you guys how's that oh oh yeah
• 12:30 - 13:00 great yeah be great yeah thanks Gabe yeah no problem because like far brothers or snow dogs hey what's up guys hey you've been gone
• 13:00 - 13:30 for a while you guys wanted something no no it's fine [ __ ] [ __ ] pull it toy you got a Happy Meal uh uh girls happy meal wait the Thule yeah sure thank you no problem
• 13:30 - 14:00 hmm single one of our Frank who's Frank mmm these are delicious don't you guys have like a cafeteria yeah hmm
• 14:00 - 14:30 drinky-poo setup bug in there me moist like a [ __ ] young vagina he's [ __ ] fries in his limp as a [ __ ] dick ice fries it horrible hmm
• 14:30 - 15:00 that's a good cat to vagina isn't it is this game my father taught me years ago it's called switch and the premise of the game is to take one finger put it in your mouth the other one goes up your [ __ ] when he says go you switch these are delicious hmm does that conclude our
• 15:00 - 15:30 interview yeah is there anything else you wanted one of the caliphate hmm ricochet to come in April 12th I gotta go guys um you know my cleaning this up do you
• 15:30 - 16:00 just clean this up no stay with me was our big chance to interview all these different that he is online I thought is
• 16:00 - 16:30 brilliant [Music]