HV27 Session

Summary

In this engaging session, the speaker delves into personal experiences and reflections on martial arts training. The conversation revolves around the intricate balance between rank and personal growth, exploring how external validations like rankings can sometimes overshadow the true essence of martial arts—self-improvement and inner peace. It highlights the internal struggle of aligning one's martial journey with personal values, emphasizing the importance of transcending beyond external titles to focus on spiritual and personal development. The dialogue underscores the transformative power of martial arts in overcoming personal insecurities and reaffirming one's self-worth, independent of rank.

Highlights

• A fascinating exploration of how martial arts transcends physical training to become a spiritual journey. 🙏
• Insightful discussion on how ranks are perceived differently across cultures, comparing American and Japanese perspectives. 🌏
• Personal anecdotes revealing the struggle between external validation and internal growth in martial arts. 🏆
• The conversation highlights the ongoing journey to find balance and understanding in one’s martial arts path. ↔️
• Encourages self-reflection and the recognition of training as a tool for broader life balance and personal development. 🧘‍♂️

Key Takeaways

• Martial arts is about more than just physical skill—it's a journey of personal growth and self-discovery. 🥋
• Ranks and titles are important, but they shouldn't define your self-worth or personal achievements. 🌟
• The essence of martial training lies in its ability to enhance life and protect it, going beyond mere technical skills. 🚀
• Trust in your feelings and instincts—they often guide you correctly, even if you can't always explain them. 🎯
• Balancing external achievements with internal satisfaction is crucial for long-term fulfillment in martial arts. ⚖️

Overview

The session kicks off with discussions around personal experiences in martial arts, focusing on the divergence between external titles and true personal growth. Our speaker candidly shares how ranks, while important, sometimes overshadow the deep, spiritual aspects of martial arts that truly matter. This provides a backdrop to understanding how martial arts can be more than just a physical endeavor; it’s a commitment to lifelong learning and personal transformation.

As the conversation unfolds, the cultural differences in martial arts are explored, particularly how the concept of rank is perceived differently in Japan compared to America. While ranks are often seen as a sign of accomplishment in the West, in Japan, they are seen more as a starting point for deeper learning. This contrast fuels a deeper discussion about the significance of personal growth over external awards, encouraging listeners to focus on the journey rather than just the destination.

Towards the conclusion, the dialogue becomes introspective, reflecting on the speaker’s journey to overcome personal insecurities fueled by rankings. There is a strong emphasis on trusting one’s feelings and instincts, understanding that martial arts is a personal journey of self-discovery and development. This session ultimately champions the idea of using martial arts as a pathway to tranquility and authenticity, rather than merely an accumulation of ranks.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:30: Introduction to Indian Martial Arts The chapter titled 'Introduction to Indian Martial Arts' mentions a conversation involving Kevin, who is presumably familiar with or has been involved in Indian martial arts for a significant period, approximately ten years. The discussion hints at a longstanding connection or practice related to Indian martial arts, possibly indicating a deep personal or professional involvement in this field.
• 00:30 - 01:00: Preconceived Notions in Training The chapter discusses the hesitation to use the term 'preconceived notion' in the context of training, as it often necessitates extensive explanation. The speaker reflects on how their understanding and application of the term differ from past training experiences, highlighting the uniqueness of the current approach. The discussion emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing these notions to enhance the training process.
• 01:00 - 01:30: Meditation and Spirituality in Martial Arts The chapter explores the connection between meditation, spirituality, and martial arts. It emphasizes that spirituality is a personal journey, and meditation is a practice that can enhance one's spiritual experience within martial arts. The narrative acknowledges that while not everything can be explained, the personal meaning and significance of these practices are important to each individual.
• 01:30 - 02:00: Training Experiences in Japan The chapter discusses the speaker's training experiences in Japan, starting with their initial experiences in Annapolis. The speaker describes a trip taken to Japan in 2005, emphasizing its early enjoyable aspects and the significance of the art they engaged with during the trip.
• 02:00 - 02:30: Concept of Self-Actualization in Training In this chapter, the concept of self-actualization is explored, particularly how it applies to personal growth and training. The discussion includes the use of the term 'fully actualized,' which is used by some teachers and how this can be linked to certain philosophical frameworks such as those proposed by Council and Absolut. An important aspect highlighted is the effort to peel away layers of one's personality or past experiences to reach a more authentic self.
• 02:30 - 03:00: Cultural Differences in Martial Arts Training The chapter discusses the central role that rank and hierarchy play in martial arts training, particularly highlighting the struggles related to achieving and maintaining rank. Despite these challenges, the chapter also touches on the positive aspects of martial arts, such as the personal growth and enjoyment experienced by practitioners. The narrative seems to reflect on both the difficulties and the rewarding experiences gained through martial arts training, emphasizing the cultural differences and how they shape the practices and perceptions within various martial arts disciplines.
• 03:00 - 03:30: Rank and External Validation in Martial Arts The chapter discusses the significance of rank and external validation in martial arts. It highlights how achieving a rank, such as a black belt, is often associated with personal and external validation. The chapter explores the psychological aspects of competition and how individuals perceive accomplishments both internally and in the view of others. One anecdote describes a martial artist with over 20 years of experience, who despite holding a high rank, never felt competitive within.
• 03:30 - 04:00: Personal Growth and Training The chapter discusses personal growth and training. It highlights the distinction between rights and personal feelings, and how these can impact one's growth. The speaker reflects on never truly feeling like they belong or excel in some aspects, particularly in comparison to others who are seen as more of a 'teacher figure'. It is also mentioned that someone else had begun training before the speaker and continued for four to five years, indicating a period of dedicated personal development.
• 04:00 - 04:30: Struggles with Rank and Validation The chapter titled "Struggles with Rank and Validation" delves into the cultural and personal challenges faced by individuals seeking validation through rank and achievements. It discusses the pressure to excel in exams and the subsequent behaviors, such as resorting to drinking, to cope with these pressures. The narrative highlights the differences in perception of academic accomplishments between Japanese and American cultures, where rankings and degrees hold varying significance. This dissonance can lead to individuals feeling lost or underappreciated when adapting to different cultural expectations, particularly in a context like Japan where societal validation might be pursued differently than in other countries.
• 04:30 - 05:00: Jealousy and Comparison in Martial Arts The chapter discusses different perspectives on achieving rank in martial arts. Some view obtaining a degree or rank as a starting point of education, contrary to the notion of it being the culmination of formal training. The chapter explores how in many cases, particularly in America, there is an expectation to grow into one's rank or accomplishment.
• 05:00 - 05:30: Purpose and Mastery The chapter 'Purpose and Mastery' begins with a discussion about the cultural practices in Japan, specifically mentioning how western lands are perceived there. The narrative transitions into a personal reflection on the author's initial journey into training and self-worth, highlighting the reliance on external validation during the early stages of their experience.
• 05:30 - 06:00: Emotional Growth through Chaos This chapter delves into the theme of emotional growth achieved through navigating chaotic circumstances. It begins with a personal anecdote about struggling to affirm life as a human. The narrator reflects on their past difficulties with receiving life’s challenges, admitting that their struggles were sometimes less apparent to others. Despite outward appearances, the narrator confesses to a more profound internal conflict with embracing these challenges. Eventually, they recognize moments of resilience and development during these periods of turmoil, illustrating personal growth despite, and perhaps because of, the chaos experienced.
• 06:00 - 06:30: Challenges in Teaching Martial Arts The chapter discusses the challenges faced in teaching martial arts, particularly focusing on an anecdote about a trainee who began training under the speaker. This trainee eventually went to Japan to achieve a black belt as it was a requirement to be either in Japan or under special circumstances to obtain it. The speaker reflects that had they accompanied the trainee to Japan, they too would have achieved the black belt. At present, the speaker holds a fourth-degree rank.
• 06:30 - 07:00: Pride and Personal Achievement This chapter explores the themes of individual pride and personal achievement. It opens with a focus on a character who possesses a seventh-degree black belt, signifying a high level of expertise and accomplishment. The narrative delves into the character's internal struggles, reflecting on how these achievements can lead to questions about self-worth and identity. Themes of self-reflection are prominent, as the character realizes the importance of defining oneself beyond accolades and external validation. The intrinsic tension between pride and personal limitations prompts a reevaluation of the character's sense of self, emphasizing that true identity and fulfillment go beyond mere accomplishments.
• 07:00 - 07:30: Balancing Personal and Professional Life This chapter discusses the challenges and strategies in balancing personal and professional life. The chapter emphasizes that often external things, which initially seem significant, lose their weight in the grand scheme of life. It suggests re-evaluating what actually matters, distinguishing between urgent and important tasks, and focusing on meaningful pursuits to maintain balance and fulfillment.
• 07:30 - 08:00: Self-Reflection and Awareness In this chapter, the emphasis is on self-reflection and awareness. The conversation highlights the significance of proximity to one's training and how it resonates with individuals. It touches upon the concept of long-term maturation in some people, suggesting that the journey of self-awareness and personal growth is not uniform for everyone. This theme explores the intrinsic relationship between personal growth and how closely one's experiences are tied to their reflective practices and training.
• 08:00 - 08:30: The Tension Between Personal Achievement and Humility This chapter explores the balancing act between striving for personal achievement and maintaining humility. It delves into the disillusionment that can come with realizing the tension between the desire for success and staying grounded. The narrative appears to reflect on a personal journey of understanding the complexities involved in achieving one's goals without losing sight of humility.
• 08:30 - 09:00: Understanding Personal Emotions The chapter titled 'Understanding Personal Emotions' delves into the significance of personal journeys in comprehending one's emotions. It begins by reflecting on initial assumptions about training and personal growth over the first few years. The narrative clarifies that while external reports and metrics were initially perceived as significant, it is actually the internal, personal experiences and journeys that hold greater importance. This understanding emphasizes the importance of recognizing who we are at a deeper level and acknowledges the meaningful impact of personal journeys on understanding emotions.
• 09:00 - 09:30: The Role of Training in Life The chapter titled 'The Role of Training in Life' explores the social aspects and personal reflections on the significance of struggle and change. The narrator shares a perspective that the struggle is a crucial part of life, even if at times it seems irrelevant or amusing. However, they acknowledge moments when change does impact their awareness, suggesting an ongoing contemplation on the importance of training and how it shapes life experiences.
• 09:30 - 10:00: Trusting Instincts in Decision Making The chapter discusses the dynamics of trust and instinct in decision-making. It delves into feelings of jealousy and self-reflection, as one compares their actions to those of others, such as a peer on a library board or someone else's achievements. It highlights a scenario involving a black hole test machine, symbolic of testing and measuring achievements. The narrative underscores how such comparisons can impact one's sense of purpose.
• 10:00 - 10:30: Understanding and Trust in Training The chapter 'Understanding and Trust in Training' discusses the value of training individuals to withstand chaos without being affected by it. It implies that being comfortable with uncertainty and disorder is a key part of training. The narrative suggests that if one can embrace chaos and maintain composure, they will be better equipped to handle difficult situations, regardless of the skills involved. While skills are crucial, maintaining a calm and unruffled spirit is emphasized as an even more significant aspect of dealing with challenges.
• 10:30 - 11:00: Connecting Feelings and Actions This chapter explores the connection between feelings and actions. It highlights the importance of aligning one's skills and ways of being with their emotions. The discussion delves into the challenges one might face in maintaining this harmony, emphasizing that managing the link between feelings and actions is crucial. The text suggests that effectively navigating these connections plays a significant role in personal development and effectiveness.
• 11:00 - 11:30: Conclusion and Reflections In the conclusion and reflections chapter, the speaker reflects on their thoughts about anticipating a positive event that hasn't happened yet. They express the importance of being intentional and present, acknowledging the possibilities and their desire to fully experience meaningful events. Their introspection highlights a balance between hope and the reality of what is yet to come, emphasizing the value of being mindful in their actions and outlook.

HV27 Session Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 so Kevin there was something yeah should be a couple of because the divorce watch with indian martial arts of this martial arts told into the bar far for 10 years or part
• 00:30 - 01:00 sometimes I don't even like using preconceived notion I feel like I will if I mention it almost like I have to start going into this big explanation like what what it actually is for me like what it means what's different about this training versus under but supple what I've done that links to for you is like it has to
• 01:00 - 01:30 do where nison lawfulness and meditation they're legit spiritual I'm not asking you to explain it all but it was kind of going picked up some families they did what it means to you yeah I think you at the end person and yet is for the spirituality personal so they're just been to the got straight
• 01:30 - 02:00 West guys Annapolis where I started and then a guy that trains a little farther north than happens there in japan now and have one over there 2005 early enjoyable trip with this art one of the biggest things just kind of
• 02:00 - 02:30 always working on yourself trying to do my teachers people use the term fully actualized so it's kind of nice that ice if it's in the work the concepts from counsel and Absolut and so it's just different term I think it's kind of what I found out we said it's so big part of that is trying to get get rid of a lot of your layers if you work through that those kinds of
• 02:30 - 03:00 struggles and so rank has always been kind of I guess center point of those kinds of struggles I think that's just when they street Oh I was thinking the day was we are just kind of thing all those nice times its I
• 03:00 - 03:30 by minding flow freely integrated yeah and this really can and I was thinking about the one of one of the guys it's not an issue 20 plus years black belt I've never ever felt in competition within and because these for
• 03:30 - 04:00 advanced in those rights exactly just really don't have to I just never felt like I'm I've never felt like up here in some ways you can always see him as more of a teacher focus and so then the other guy he he he started before me started training for him to his left for four or five years didn't train for that about four or five
• 04:00 - 04:30 years exam and so I drank wiser to surpass them and I was fine issue what happens is a lot of times when people go to Japan as they go to Japan writing sometimes is given out because the Japanese a very different compared to the Americans well like American do we see it as something like a degree accomplished and I think in
• 04:30 - 05:00 some ways see some people see that as not a beginning point which is kind of how I see we see a degree that's actually the beginning of your education and that was the end of your formal education and so they they see rank is something that you have to grow into accomplished America it seems like that a lot of times great martial arts they really
• 05:00 - 05:30 it really is something for people don't understand so we go to Japan and they still have that western lands but they're giving right and so sometimes because this is close to me when I first started training a lot of my Worth was caught up in in the mornings that I very much would see that as like an external external validation their
• 05:30 - 06:00 affirmation of life as a human and so I we struggled with I struggled with some time receive that at times and less less when others see that I really didn't have much which issue with that but then I kind of did I guess I one way
• 06:00 - 06:30 I didn't have a little bit of an issue with there was a guy that he started training for me is that right he went to Japan black militancy you can only take that in Japan or under special circumstances and then we so he did that if I would have gone with them i know i would have taken it as well so right now i'm a fourth-degree
• 06:30 - 07:00 black belt he's a seventh-degree black belt he's very much I've seen it as much merriment here and so I in some ways it's been how in other ways just because it's forced me to lie why do I could have said like this why does this frustrating it's forced me to kind of question you know and realize that you know this doesn't define you my hand
• 07:00 - 07:30 mr. an external thing that doesn't matter a lot of ways it doesn't really just it does Oh but just doesn't it doesn't hold the same weight than initially thought doesn't the fine
• 07:30 - 08:00 person yeah and I think that maybe because that's maybe because the training is so close to me to resonate so what you think possibly there's some people I don't really they is that either the maturing for a long time
• 08:00 - 08:30 I guess I kind of I don't know I guess I was maybe disillusion where I guess
• 08:30 - 09:00 I think I had the assumption that started training call over the first four or five years that's kind of how it would push the drain but it was that important right yeah not or not that the race report but it that the the train was close to them oh so that it was a like a personal personal journey right to vm was quite meaningful but who they are exactly and
• 09:00 - 09:30 so I think that socially something that it's something that didn't think that the struggle was right now is and it has a penis so it's kind of funny that it brings brings my awareness to or I feel like if you would like I feel like it doesn't matter anymore our kids but then sometimes i get these changes
• 09:30 - 10:00 of like is a jealous kind of like what am I not doing almost your library board the guy I was Japan he got he took the black hole test machine right now he's right the first unit like oh so you significantly lower than me but those things can happen and it's kind of it's our master purpose
• 10:00 - 10:30 that keeps us teach people to chaos because I think that's part of the trains if you can let chaos not affect you whatever's going on and go care not knowing exactly and that's really the tent then your kind of it you should be able to handle a really difficult situation you know as long as your skills been something yeah but at least your spirit should be ruffled whether you're your physical
• 10:30 - 11:00 skills up to the task and ultimately that's what he kind of become more important if that's that your way of being is so much and so I just had this I just have this difficulty thinking that that might happen and then how how as I guess the two things
• 11:00 - 11:30 I really didn't I realize I'm thinking about something good one that hasn't happened yet so then on the other hand it's a very real possibility and so I almost want to because it's something is important for me to be intentional how I am it's an
• 11:30 - 12:00 opportunity for growth I see that whether it happened two dozen at least brought my words to a double thrown a lot of that and so she's going to our frustrations to know that now where I thought I was and I definitely can acknowledge that my physical skill in the past he was is not
• 12:00 - 12:30 I've been a trade-off his kind of nervous because it's kinda like roast I talked about class not feeling as close to what was being more developed in a lot of ways and just huh
• 12:30 - 13:00 calculate some of these things that I had really know what to do with it as far as I just knowledge is there she's going to difficult to to difficulty the circumstances and not allow me to not allow me to go to
• 13:00 - 13:30 financial candidate doesn't count all hotel this is responsive was to be too sure yeah I think so because it's part yeah it was just
• 13:30 - 14:00 I guess I feel frustrated that there was frustrated at something something like finances but then I think it's not humanly for advancing just you
• 14:00 - 14:30 right let you continue to advance in your skills and who you are but not go to Japan I think that's that's where that's really where the the struggle becomes because then when I go I guess in some of its the social aspect go to trainings and my skill level this happen before
• 14:30 - 15:00 musculus far beyond my breaking their people that are very high ranks and they're there they're teaching classes they're kind of thrown to rank around and and that's that's being those would be good learning experiences in some ways I found identity or purpose
• 15:00 - 15:30 meaning get by trying to gently show them or not they are some ways it I know kind of enjoyed that yeah yeah I think I had because I think good this is gonna I don't understand how people don't understand that sometimes like yeah it's like they really they have this ability to really fool themselves huh which I
• 15:30 - 16:00 don't it's hard for me hard for me to understand that yes it's like a really deep rooted well so the truss can summarize a little bit part of what it's a part of what's going on for you is that
• 16:00 - 16:30 you're very much thinking you shouldn't be concerned with rice you thought you wouldn't be at this point in your development and it's bugging you that you're finding that you are just a little bit concerned rice just said I feel like it's something that I
• 16:30 - 17:00 shouldn't have that shouldn't be affordable for you anymore sure what to ensure that you I guess so if you liked it usually when I'm aware get a little bit really close to the
• 17:00 - 17:30 resolution even if it takes time I feel like that if I'm working on something making progress like in this case progress would not be above others rankings maybe I think a part of those like incorrect rankings burger yes it is it might be what I
• 17:30 - 18:00 think it is it's difficult it's difficult and again I mean I see this done on purpose because it challenges everybody who's around his people thinking so it can be a motivator absolutely good reason for doing because i think it protects the tree because i think the training is that for
• 18:00 - 18:30 everyone everyone gets people that are gravitate to the training it really understand it aren't even this other people that have high scripts so you know it's not just you but there's others all indications would be they actually are more advanced and are not hiring yes and I I think that sometimes they don't want to acknowledge that they still struggle with some
• 18:30 - 19:00 frustration because I mean to me I feel like I should shouldn't worry I think I mean I think I've done a good job with my students to help them up
• 19:00 - 19:30 but then I feel like you can only get half so if i don't have a lot of development so maybe Madison in a practical way that this still bugs you matters in a perhaps boy that it might affect you as a teacher I think so yeah you could because I think that I think that my because it's this aspect because I think that this is
• 19:30 - 20:00 just that awareness if this is still an issue and I'm not sure don't know what they'd be but like you're going in 3 goes blown up in this way maybe we'll be other ways
• 20:00 - 20:30 too and my surprise you yes so that maybe it would be that an unknown against again there's the purpose so maybe that's the challenge I don't know I'm not sure I do know that I am I don't know there's a part of me that's always watchful of my earrings
• 20:30 - 21:00 what I want to check in with people maybe they don't see but I wonder is it because they don't see me or just because they I hide it in mind not one not true why do I not have an accurate I guess evaluation because I think I do a good job
• 21:00 - 21:30 of taking feedback look fits into training luck with I do my training I was in gyms 20 years before starting Lester the race if i would have gone on a trip I would have been into 3y bonus each year she says unheard of and so yeah I get a part of me is like I would be really proud of that but another part of me thinking back where I am glad that
• 21:30 - 22:00 you have because I don't know what that would have meant if I was a 70 so maybe we were actually going to mess you up yeah maybe like thinking like it could mess me up you know what observation that I thought
• 22:00 - 22:30 that we can share what it is yeah of course I do vary so from that but also from our conversation now I think that I'm notice about you this you work hard to figure it out like you went from yeah does bug me too and I really want to figure out why what it's
• 22:30 - 23:00 about yeah yeah I spend a lot of time fit I spent a lot of time working on myself I feel like always improving and I think I think a lot of my legs prove yourself imagine you have a lot of evidence of success
• 23:00 - 23:30 but even it's even saying that that brings comfortably in my ears and acknowledgement yeah I they're probably few things that would be successful and
• 23:30 - 24:00 I don't and I start thinking about start thinking about not being blinded because of that being difficult to be tolerated almost like a I think this will describe it but
• 24:00 - 24:30 I don't know my house thinking about it it's almost like I will be concerned that people will be posted to the Sun so and then gets a I hate that as well as reciprocal that I have like that much I'm Adams power that people feel like that
• 24:30 - 25:00 that I have that I am successful person that worth matter like this on matters so I mean I think that's more concerned about relationships with my wife sometimes machine I think sometimes she doesn't feel like
• 25:00 - 25:30 she's doing like living her dreams in some ways and so I think that I think that's party before I feel like I don't want to drive a wedge because I guess that metaphor almost like she's put up a shield because too much joy or too much too much reminder things that she's not doing so too much of liking your success your
• 25:30 - 26:00 liking your success my father and I think I've had some men to that that's just something just Oviatt up to those yeah it's hard work so it's hard for me to balance finding joy
• 26:00 - 26:30 achievements in my path and being able to have enjoy the time because even when I know I feel like I do a really good job not fair with many things of people's faces because i am so aware it's open certain being seen as area I wonder if I guess that's my concern I don't think
• 26:30 - 27:00 that is going I'm not sure that is a yard be arrogant and we start from don't want yeah and that kind of ties them and I think what with being bugged by the unfairness of the ranks that I gather it feels to
• 27:00 - 27:30 you kind of like that same what we call the earth yeah I think may actually hey maybe I feel cheated have you achieved and then I think instead of like yeah it's like an unfinished someone gets a ranking feel like
• 27:30 - 28:00 so I feel kind of cheated like maybe I an affirmation it's so struggling with allowing to be everyone's own path I was the same this entry
• 28:00 - 28:30 a structure that's do and there's a teaching the transcendence of it's a sending information transferred in support of transference of information and what is what its knowledge i think that knowledge is there's nothing secret about it it's all available to everybody but the quality of the transference and
• 28:30 - 29:00 so if he it's likely importance I love might be a protective on my job I mean it is okay the title is okay sensei so you are protector of the training as a teacher but you know and maybe as a
• 29:00 - 29:30 student but you don't hold that much responsibility you have to take that absolutely so baby I maybe there's a like a wish that I'd more control because of my ring I can't have and that's apart kinda like to be a protector of it in that way yeah because I think that is something that is I mean it kind of
• 29:30 - 30:00 makes that makes sense now because I mean that the purpose of this of this my training this heart is not just that's just a protection of life my own families are the people that around but the enhancement of life and I think those two things I do know that that is
• 30:00 - 30:30 and that and I enjoy that being proud I mean part of me and so maybe what have I being like an expression coming or feel like maybe if I had more control and I had maybe there's more permission for me to express who I was and how the quality of
• 30:30 - 31:00 transference that I can provide I
• 31:00 - 31:30 something I've never really talked about with anybody outside of the tree it's hard to explain this way it's really hard to figure out like you want to figure out why this buzz
• 31:30 - 32:00 and I think why do you want to figure it out you told me some practical reason because it might affect you as a teacher employer i'm also very
• 32:00 - 32:30 I want to figure out what I can maybe that's learn from know when to put something down from does it seem likely feel like that I
• 32:30 - 33:00 and then there were only ever thought about that I said I think about I think about our actual training there's so many times where I'll train with something how to train tulle but and I won't touch it for one could be months
• 33:00 - 33:30 take it back up it's like so it's uh like I do feel like as soon as I pick it up it's a tool cutlass feels new but it feels new and my god there's more energy to it's like I
• 33:30 - 34:00 exchange this developed is I don't feel like it is the first one thinking of it's the first time I'm thinking it's this he feels more a few morning into connecting movement myself and I noticed so often when I train regularly
• 34:00 - 34:30 that really that makes a huge difference just one functioning I ability to tolerate chaos in my life no strong feelings and I don't train unhappy the exact sent they going to know for a fact I've been
• 34:30 - 35:00 training and approach the situation sigh they don't affect the space affect the interaction 45 there's less maintain has maintained let go we call it we call it 00 mine have that stillness or it's not it
• 35:00 - 35:30 tastes like if this was where I just went on my body but inside my body whatever I in and then sometimes a lot of emotions come out of it and space you a lot of times you that I guess falls into our actions but then if we're still we're able to
• 35:30 - 36:00 just not have to act through those all right with those I guess we act without not for like a not a motion that allowing the emotion we felt inside it dissipate but not not this and being able to take the information from the ocean use that information or inform what's going on situation then
• 36:00 - 36:30 able to use that information and so it's kind of it's a little nothing paradoxical because the more you can feel the more you can have oceans motion Morgan feels the more people you are being effective and everything but
• 36:30 - 37:00 it's not that your emotions your feelings are becoming emotions altering the balance are altering three silvers you may experience that you're not you're not changed so when you train it gets you more that play so that will you be and I'm not gonna try to name it you've been trying and I think if you
• 37:00 - 37:30 get I can't do it but i don't think i know it but i think i have a sense of where you're trying to say well i guess i could just leave it at there's this place in this way of being from training bed is kind of a goal for you it's very effective and it's very helpful and you work better train
• 37:30 - 38:00 well when you go back to a port you're staying with this I thought it seemed particularly meaningful tol so watch the comp visit to keep us women by the time that we clients of about five but you are partly to go back to because I thought you I thought it seemed important to you and then I think in explaining it you kind of went in another direction so I want to go back to it and see if it wasn't
• 38:00 - 38:30 important to you I thought you were saying at one point that you're thinking maybe you've thought about this as much as you can or as much as is productive in this and then you are explaining to me like when you're working with a ricotta or tool that
• 38:30 - 39:00 this isn't quite what you said but what about your maybe going to say like at times when you pick it up it feels right to be working on that and so I gathered the opposite also might be true that it times when you pick it up it feels like knows does not think you're working with right now yeah yeah it's true that's that's what you're yeah and now that's easy
• 39:00 - 39:30 is the first I just taking it back that you were able to see that I never deception trip and just because it not not haven't trained that's something I didn't expect that that happens
• 39:30 - 40:00 think that was profound is not I think what's profound for me is also is that these feelings app in the train I think that they happen they happen in all aspects of our life it's almost like it mimics I think it looks like right so like you get that sense with other things in life to where
• 40:00 - 40:30 it's like this is the time to work with this this is not the time to work this yeah yeah and I think that that's you saying that was confirmation a lot of ways for me that that is that a lot of ways the training a lot less important from even though working but sometimes that trouble trusting just in that feelings it's not the work
• 40:30 - 41:00 with this some of the anxieties summers feeling work I have to because it's explained feeling it's hard to talk about the sensations but then you know I can explain field simple
• 41:00 - 41:30 it's a lot of able to say why as they can be perceived as this just like that a judgment so you get the feeling and you know it in the feeling matters to you but you realize at times you can't explain doing
• 41:30 - 42:00 so even without even outside of training use of my life and that's like that's what training does allow me to it those feelings become sharper relief so I can click more clearly so I see the direction in my life the training like the training use it it's like we're going to boston kinda it's working that ability that since a couple of those feelings
• 42:00 - 42:30 and so yeah not being able to describe it I feel like I can it's like I have to justify my actions with some sort of logical work like this is what I did this is what I'm doing to talk to out I'm feeling good and I'm off my feelings rolls right and so yeah
• 42:30 - 43:00 so there's kind of two two parts of you one is the part that wants to figure it out and be able to explain I'm gathering the value that explaining the town just d and then there's another part of you that says so what if you can't explain
• 43:00 - 43:30 it you have a at times those different parts of you for your vacuum form yeah yeah yeah so it's trust was that trust
• 43:30 - 44:00 trust trust because of I think that's awesome so it's hard i will get different inspector to a lot about attrition others trust stuff in there but it's a trust
• 44:00 - 44:30 again I was guessing I'm not quite getting that for wood which part of you do you trust me I got the idea that somehow it's hard for you to decide is because it's tied up and how you value yourself
• 44:30 - 45:00 there's one thing I want to go back to okay at one point you were complimentary of me for having seen LP sport but I guess what I appreciate that but I guess what I want to say is to my mind that wasn't me figuring it out that was just it was you pretty much told me that's
• 45:00 - 45:30 the way I saw it I think it guys are kind of serious I think he probably had I've trouble not I'm thinking that you had that it looks those maybe those
• 45:30 - 46:00 kinds of experience oh yeah that's true too yeah I don't know if I had this really the same experiences but so I'm not sure i think i have problem i think i have probably had some similar experiences along I'll apathetic saying I don't know if there was some more but
• 46:00 - 46:30 my sense in the month was oh yeah kid yes I can see how that would work yeah I think you definitely making that and that instant like it yeah I guess I felt like that there was a piece on the war that I had
• 46:30 - 47:00 but it was there there could like you under I think that I think you really think you understood exactly what i was talking about
• 47:00 - 47:30 it's another one of those feelings I know there's our display yeah I feel something they're back well let's start there