Michael Che & Colin Jost Telling WOMEN JOKES For 30 MINUTES Straight!

Summary

In a special 30-minute segment, Michael Che and Colin Jost tackle a series of jokes revolving around women, touching both on societal issues and everyday ironies with their signature comedic flair. The jokes, drawing inspiration from current events, studies, and whimsical scenarios, highlight the humorous observation of gender dynamics and cultural stereotypes. The duo navigates through topics such as women's economic standing, social media influence, historical anecdotes, and more with a candid comedic approach. This comedy segment brings laughter while also subtly reflecting on the nuances of gender discussions in modern society.

Highlights

• Michael Che and Colin Jost deliver a 30-minute segment on women jokes. 😃
• They use humor to touch on political and cultural themes involving gender. 🗳️
• The jokes often play on stereotypes, aiming to entertain while promoting reflection. 🙌
• Numerous jokes focus on societal norms and their influence on perceptions of women. 🌍
• Their comedic style invites audience engagement and self-reflection. 🤔

Key Takeaways

• Michael Che & Colin Jost dive into humor about women, cracking jokes that reflect societal observations. 🎭
• The segment merges comedy with current social issues, featuring jokes on economics, politics, and pop culture. 👍
• Their humor often uses hyperbole and satire to shed light on gender dynamics and stereotypes. 👏
• Che and Jost use their platform to weave humor into discussions about gender and social expectations. 😂
• Comedy remains a powerful tool to spark conversation on complex societal issues like gender roles. 🤔

Overview

In a bold comedic journey, the hilarious duo of Michael Che and Colin Jost addresses the often touchy subject of women jokes for a full 30 minutes. Known for their comedic chemistry, the two effortlessly weave humor into discussions around gender dynamics, cultural stereotypes, and societal observations. The segment, overflowing with puns and playful critiques, engages audiences both in laughter and reflection about common societal norms.

Through a blend of satire and candidness, Che and Jost touch on a broad spectrum of topics ranging from economic disparities and political landscapes to pop culture references and historical quips. Each joke is meticulously crafted to not only entertain but also to provide a humorous lens through which audiences can examine and question existing gender perceptions. Their approach is both refreshing and insightful, offering a comedic relief while nudging viewers to think beyond the punchline.

The segment is a testament to how comedy can serve as a mirror to society’s expectations, using laughter as a catalyst for discussion. Che and Jost exemplify how comedic art forms can tackle complex issues such as gender roles with a blend of humor and thought-provoking content. As they sprinkle humor on intricate social topics, the segment successfully encourages a broader conversation while keeping the mood light-hearted and engaging.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 00:01: March is Women's History Month - Women's Leadership and Achievements The chapter titled 'March is Women's History Month - Women's Leadership and Achievements' discusses women's history month, celebrated in March. The text points to a moment of applause, perhaps highlighting a specific achievement or recognition during this time. It notes the excitement around the celebration, though humor is found in that one week where enthusiasm might dip. The chapter then transitions to a scientific concern regarding the Y chromosome, highlighting the decline of this chromosome over 180 million years. It humorously speculates that men could face extinction in about 6 million years, creating a blend of women's history celebration and humorous scientific outlook.
• 00:01 - 00:02: Women's Economic and Social Status - Gender Disparities The chapter discusses the social and economic status of women, highlighting significant gender disparities. A recent report indicates that there is a growing 'gender death gap,' with men dying approximately six years earlier than women, indicating an area of gender disparity in longevity statistics. The conversation reflects a tone of encouragement towards women concerning their progress and future opportunities.
• 00:02 - 00:03: Female Representation in Government and Workforce The chapter discusses the progress in female representation within government, highlighted by the fact that a record-setting 12 states will now have female governors following the latest elections. This serves as a significant milestone in gender representation. The text also humorously contrasts this progress with traditional gender roles, implying that in many states, traditional expectations of women, such as having dinner ready on time, still persist.
• 00:03 - 00:04: Perceptions of Women in Science and History - Gender Biases This chapter explores the perceptions of women in the fields of science and history, focusing on the gender biases that exist. It references a study highlighting the phenomenon where more single women in the US own homes compared to single men, despite earning less. The concept of 'divorce' as an economic factor in this trend is mentioned. The chapter also notes an unrelated event concerning a social media influencer's arrest.
• 00:04 - 00:05: Women's Achievements in Sports and Education The chapter discusses the incident of a woman throwing a tampon at bouncers while being removed from a club, illustrating unusual behavior.
• 00:05 - 00:06: Challenges Faced by Women - Safety and Stereotypes The chapter discusses the challenges faced by women, focusing on issues of safety and societal stereotypes.
• 00:06 - 00:07: Discussion on Abortion Laws and Social Implications In this chapter titled 'Discussion on Abortion Laws and Social Implications', the conversation begins with an incident about a woman in Indiana who was arrested after driving her car into a building mistakenly believing it to be an 'Israel school'. This opens up a broader discussion, although the transcript provided here seems to cut off abruptly after mentioning a separate incident involving the mother of a political nominee. The chapter likely delves into how such incidents reflect societal views and attitudes, possibly linking it to broader themes of social and legislative implications surrounding topics like abortion laws. The snippet provided does not directly address abortion, but serves to set a tone for exploring contentious social issues.
• 00:07 - 00:08: Gender Stereotypes in Technology and Entertainment This chapter explores gender stereotypes in technology and entertainment, initially highlighting a dynamic between individuals where one is perceived to demean women for the sake of power and ego. The narrative shifts to a scenario in Canada where a man heroically saves his wife from a polar bear attack, illustrating themes of bravery and protection.
• 00:08 - 00:09: Rising Gender Issues in Various Domains This chapter explores gender issues across different areas. It starts by discussing how Donald Trump has faced challenges in moderating his views on abortion. It then highlights a study indicating that regular exercise provides women with twice the benefits compared to men. However, the chapter ends abruptly without further context.
• 00:09 - 00:10: Political and Social Commentary on Women's Rights This chapter discusses the milestone of Greece electing its first female president, a significant step in political representation for women. However, it also humorously mentions the ironic notion that the country is facing challenges following her election, possibly reflecting on societal attitudes towards female leadership.
• 00:10 - 00:11: Advancements for Women in Technology and Society The chapter discusses significant advancements for women in technology and society, highlighting two key stories. Firstly, an 81-page book was released by KLA Harris, focusing on economic policy, which underscores the contributions women can make in policy-making sectors. Secondly, a notable achievement in sports is mentioned, where a woman from Leslie University set a record, being the first Division 3 women's basketball player with only one arm to score in a game. This was seen as a major milestone, despite a slightly dismissive perspective on the competitive context.
• 00:11 - 00:12: Humor and Satire on Gender Norms and Roles The chapter explores humor and satire related to gender norms and roles, illustrating societal expectations and stereotypes.
• 00:12 - 00:13: Women's Health and Society's Response The chapter discusses a remarkable archaeological finding in Iran where a vial containing a red substance, presumed to be an ancient form of lipstick, was discovered. This finding sheds light on the beauty practices of ancient civilizations approximately 4,000 years ago.
• 00:13 - 00:14: Legal and Social Battles for Women A report highlights the significant pay disparity between male and female doctors, with female doctors earning $2 million less than their male counterparts over their careers, raising issues of gender inequality in the medical profession.
• 00:14 - 00:15: Reflections on Women's Historical Contributions and Modern Struggles The chapter discusses the significant yet often unrecognized contributions of women throughout history, as well as the ongoing challenges they face in modern times. It highlights a recent incident where the former president of the Spanish soccer Federation faces charges of sexual assault for kissing a female player without her consent after the Women's World Cup. The summary captures the blend of historical reflection and current societal issues regarding women's rights and recognition.

Michael Che & Colin Jost Telling WOMEN JOKES For 30 MINUTES Straight! Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 March is women's History Month which [Applause] is which is always nice except for that one week where it's a huge remember when you cheered for the beginning scientists are concerned that over the course of 180 million years the why chromosome has declined and that men could go stink in 6 million years yeah
• 00:30 - 01:00 so yeah so ladies hang in there you'll get your little president the 9s relax what you doing oh they cheer they cheer a new report shows that the gender death Gap is rising with men dying an average of 6 years before women which is yeah [Applause]
• 01:00 - 01:30 it's actually scientific proof that men are actually dying a little every time we have to listen to your boring ass [Applause] story Michael after this year's elections a record setting 12 States will have female [Applause] Governors while while the other 38 States will have dinner ready on time
• 01:30 - 02:00 thank you thank [Laughter] you a new study finds that despite women making less money than men more single women in the US own homes than single men thanks to a phenomenon Economist called divorce divorce a social media influencer was arrested for allegedly
• 02:00 - 02:30 throwing a tampon at bouncers who are removing her from a club well at least we know why she was acting that way can I just go home I'm going to go home I'm going to go home New York City is now requiring employers to disclose salary ranges in all job listings employers Must List everything ranging from the top salary all the way down to the female salary police and queens were searching
• 02:30 - 03:00 for a suspect who hijacked the bus and then immediately crashed it into a utility pole okay so we know it's a woman Thursday was National No broad day which I celebrated by not supporting women it's some broad joke after Nikki Haley's poor showing in Michigan pressure is mounting for her to drop out of the race but mostly because the dishes are piling up at home
• 03:00 - 03:30 thank you thank you thank you in Indiana woman was arrested after she drove her car into a building because she thought it was a quote Israel school well that's why they don't let women Drive in the Middle East you don't like it or it was reported that in 2018 the mother of Pete heg Trump's nominee for defense sec secretary sent her son an
• 03:30 - 04:00 email saying that she was embarrassed by the way he repeatedly belittles lies cheats and uses women for his own power and ego to which Pete hegseth responded shut up a man in Canada saved his wife after a polar bear lunged at her and he leapt onto the Bear's back shouting finish her
• 04:00 - 04:30 experts have noted that Donald Trump has struggled to present a softened stance on abortion in fact this is the best he's come up with oh man okay okay I like the we're really finding the line a new study finds that women benefit from regular exercise at twice the rate of men but on the other hand jars
• 04:30 - 05:00 Greece has elected its first ever female president and of course the country is already falling apart I like it yeah Disney announced that they'll be making two more sequels to Frozen but by the time they come out the only thing Frozen will be Elsa's eggs she wants a
• 05:00 - 05:30 career KLA Harris released an 81 page book outlining her Economic Policy because you know how women like to go on and on and on a woman at Leslie University set a record when she became the first division 3 women's basketball player with only one arm to score in a game but she was playing against girls so
• 05:30 - 06:00 it's the '90s would you relax New York City officials are considering controlling the city's growing rat population by using birth control pellets which will also finally let female rats focus on their careers the University of Iowa announced that basketball star Caitlyn Clark will have her jersey retired and replaced with an apron
• 06:00 - 06:30 oh Michael oh come on a stone vial discovered in Iran contained a red cosmetic that experts say was likely used as lipstick nearly 4,000 Years Ago by an ancient skank isn't that fascinating I'm learning a lot a New Jersey man was arrested after he ran over a woman multiple times in a road rage incident said the woman sorry
• 06:30 - 07:00 sorry a new report shows that female doctors over the course of their careers make $2 million less than men oh that's just not right I mean female doctors tensions over mysterious drones flying above New Jersey continued to rise after a drone crashed into a person's backyard but at least now we
• 07:00 - 07:30 know whoever's flying them is a freaking women right the former president of the Spanish soccer Federation is being charged with sexual assault for kissing a female player without her consent after the Women's World Cup if convicted she will be allowed one free kick that was a nice little word joke
• 07:30 - 08:00 a new study finds that the top reason more teenage boys are virgins is that they haven't found the right person yet which suggests a critical Nationwide shortage on skanks all right a 106y old woman in the Philippines has become the oldest bold cover model ever beating the previous record of 29 a new study suggests that men are better than women at using a map while
• 08:00 - 08:30 women are better at sitting silently for the rest of the car ride after you tell them that it was announced that Britney grinder has signed with the Phoenix Mercury for one year unfortunately the WNBA pays less than a Russian prison the Los Angeles Zoo announced that Evelyn a 46-year-old gorilla famous for her red hair has been euthanized not because she was sick but because it's la and she was in her
• 08:30 - 09:00 40s call astronomers say that an asteroid the size of a school bus will soon enter Earth's orbit temporarily becoming a new Mini Moon and making our moon look like an old fat I didn't know we could do that a 99-year-old woman in Canada broke three World swimming records for her age class in the same day until finally someone noticed she had fallen
• 09:00 - 09:30 in a new study suggests that the moon may be 100 million years older than previously thought oh my God retire earlier today an American fighter jet shot down a suspected Chinese surveillance balloon that had been spotting crossing the United States officially ending history's most complicated gender reveal party and bad news for China it's a
• 09:30 - 10:00 girl Florida Governor Ronda santis seen here remembering his presidential campaign signed a bill that will ban social media accounts for younger teenagers but Florida's older teenagers can keep their social media accounts because they need a place to post their sonograms a British woman who was arrested for keying several parked cars
• 10:00 - 10:30 blamed her actions on quote feeling menopausal incidentally feeling menopausal was also the working title of and just like that one of the most popular new video games is trombone champ which is a Guitar Hero Style game for the trombone trombone champ is also the nickname of a very popular lady in my neighborhood according to a new survey 56% % of Americans say that alone time
• 10:30 - 11:00 is critical to their mental well-being just something to think about before you ask to stay for breakfast we're really learning a lot about you oh no classtic surgeons are saying that a growing number of women are having labia puff surgery on their vaginas and fun fact labia Puffs was also the original name for honey Smacks
• 11:00 - 11:30 women's History Month well a number of sports bars around the country are promising to only show women's basketball games during March Madness the bars are known collectively as the empty ones a British woman discovered when she got pregnant that she had a second tiny vagina uh yeah the but
• 11:30 - 12:00 well guys tomorrow is Mother's Day whether you wanted to be one or not call a woman complained online about a date in which a man snuck out of the restaurant and stuck her with a bill after watching her eat 48 oysters and like you I was completely on her side until the words 48 oysters Nikki hat has launched a series
• 12:00 - 12:30 of campaign ads targeting both Donald Trump and Joe Biden called Grumpy Old Men okay but at least they're men a man in New York state was trapped inside his car for 10 hours overnight when a plow covered his car in 4T of snow even more amazing his wife believed that story Hawaii's monaa the world's largest active volano began erupting for the
• 12:30 - 13:00 first time since 1984 also erupting for the first time since 1984 your aunt watching Yellowstone an elderly woman in England who spent the night caring for a sick Hedgehog was shocked when she took the animal to a vet and discovered it was actually a pom pom from a hat she said she couldn't wait to laugh about the incident with her husband let's see this week this week
• 13:00 - 13:30 the WNBA finals were won by the New York Liberty ah I'm kidding Vegas beat him in four you phonies you didn't see that game shame on you a Colorado woman who posts on only fans said that praying before sex with her husband allows her to experience a threesome with God a threesome that doesn't end until thy kingdom comes
• 13:30 - 14:00 very popular the makers of Barbie have introduced the first ever Barbie with hearing aids it teaches an important lesson it doesn't matter if you're deaf as long as that body banging Iowa's Final Four game against Yukon was the most watched women's college basketball game ever with 14.2 million viewers beating the previous record by 14.2 million viewers
• 14:00 - 14:30 a woman has filed a lawsuit against Diddy accusing him of assault and dangling her off a 17 story balcony which is just incredible grip strength for a guy coated in py oil actress Merill stre spoke at the UN and warned that a cat has more freedom in Afghanistan than a woman does which raises an important question what is the UN
• 14:30 - 15:00 a woman at a bachelorette party in Scotland was attacked while wearing an inflatable penis costume the woman says she's still throbbing and her head feels like it's ready to explode a new app called greet her is designed to help women travel alone safely by providing people to greet them when they arrive at airports or hotels and it's being used for murder multiple women have posted videos
• 15:00 - 15:30 on Tik Tok claiming that while walking the streets of New York they were randomly punched by men well then damn get the hell out of my way a woman who's been traveling the world says she's gone on 34 first dates in nearly 20 countries her secret she's being sex trafficked Florida's new abortion ban means that the majority of women in the South will have to travel more than 300
• 15:30 - 16:00 miles for the procedure on the plus side you can get free travel to New York by disguising yourself as a migrant Miriam Webster announced that his word of the year is gaslighting gaslighting if you don't know is a word my ex made up to magically win arguments that she was losing a new report claims that recent stories on the sports illustrator website were actually generated by Ai and it's already making Delirious
• 16:00 - 16:30 mistakes for for instance it made up something called the WNBA I know I don't even know what that stands for a new startup company is developing a male contraceptive that involves one injection that will prevent pregnancy for 10 years so get ready for an exciting future of taking the man's word for it he like that a good
• 16:30 - 17:00 joke it was reported that the man who married a conjoined twin is facing a paternity lawsuit from his ex-wife great the last thing that guy needs is another mouth to feed next week Donald Trump will participate in a Fox News Town Hall before an all female audience well good luck trying to talk over all those rape whistles
• 17:00 - 17:30 a self-described anti-woke beer company has created a calendar which features quote the most beautiful conservative women in America which is just a polite way of saying flat asses all right an 84 year-old woman from Canada is attempting to join the WNBA and early scouting reports say she can really mop the court with her long ass
• 17:30 - 18:00 titties the January 6 committee has subed five sitting Republican congressmen after they refused to testify voluntarily said the Republican congressmen you can't force us to do anything we're not pregnant Independent presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy admitted in a new interview that he flew two times on Jeffrey Epstein's private jet but only to make sure none of those girls were
• 18:00 - 18:30 vaccinated it's going to be one of these kind of nights huh former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has decided to run for mayor of New York City Cuomo plans to use his old campaign slogan of honka honka the Florida Supreme Court has allowed the state 6 week abortion ban to
• 18:30 - 19:00 take effect so now Florida's only remaining method for ending a pregnancy is roller coasters a growing number of NFL players are filling up their T their off time by playing chess with each other and also let's see here domestic violence that's how they're spending their time Colin a new study of pregnant women finds that vaping does not harm their babies as long because they're very careful shoving The Vape up
• 19:00 - 19:30 there my God that's the study that I'm that's a study that's a real study a new report shows that since last year the price of eggs has risen more than 35% due to a shortage caused by new laws in red states that Force chickens to carry their eggs to turns some doctors are worried about a new recommendation asking them to encourage middle-aged women to to lose weight also worried about women losing
• 19:30 - 20:00 too much weight black guys archaeologists and Egypt have discovered a tunnel that they think leads to the long lost tomb of Cleopatra Cleopatra is of course the enchanting Queen who seduced both Mark Anthony and Julia Caesar I assume because she's really funny or something this week was National No Bra Day and it was a huge
• 20:00 - 20:30 flop don't Don't Clap it there the '90s of back colum a woman in Utah who gave birth to her eighth child just two weeks ago is competing in the Mrs World beauty pageant I guess she just can't get enough crowning a woman in Atlanta gave birth to her baby in a McDonald's so C wet
• 20:30 - 21:00 floor the women's pro baseball league announced that they plan to have six teams ready to play by the summer of 2026 we'll see about that an elementary school teacher in Wisconsin was arrested after she allegedly made out with one of her fifth grade students just months before her wedding which is why you should never have your bachelorette party at chuckecheese political experts say that Nikki Haley
• 21:00 - 21:30 could have been helped by black voters in South Carolina but they have long disliked her this is mostly due to a phenomenon known as too skinny a woman in Italy has set a new world record for having the world's thickest tongue reached for comment the woman said Thank A woman in California is trying to raise awareness about a rare allergy she has to water yeah I have that too it's called
• 21:30 - 22:00 alcoholism a woman in Delaware won $400,000 after hitting backtack lotos in the same day but the woman says she's still going to keep her day job forging lottery tickets a woman in Maryland graduated from college a day after her 82nd birthday apparently it took her so long because she's very very dumb I'm doing another one a woman in Maryland graduated from college a day after her 82nd birthday but I heard they
• 22:00 - 22:30 only passed her because her roommate died a woman in Texas allegedly dumped three buckets of human waste in front of a police department and drove away it's a rare case of erratic behavior from a lady who poops in a bucket also I want to point out that as disturbing as this story is it's not as disturbing as Imagining the woman's drive to the police station with full buckets of feces because one speed bump
• 22:30 - 23:00 turns her car into a Starbucks bathroom a former adviser to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has accused him of sexually harassing her for years making him the odds on favorite for the 2024 nomination you're going to like you're not going to like the rest of these Cuomo denies the allegations claiming that he would never be inappropriate to any broad with Fring Dynamite bazum
• 23:00 - 23:30 but a woman revealed that she accidentally ordered a cocktail that cost $2,000 ingredients of the $2,000 drink included Jen vermouth and a MacBook Pro see that was a sweet one a woman a woman at an art fair in Miami accidentally shattered a Jeff sculpture worth more than $440,000 well I guess it's like you always say Colin ain't safe in
• 23:30 - 24:00 Florida you're going to get me killed a new study finds that women are more GL likely to have an orgasm if they are in touch with their body signals such as heart rate and breathing as opposed to the women I have sex with who just hold their breath until it's over oh my God that is wow you know as a man there is no way can understand the full impact of this
• 24:00 - 24:30 issue but I asked a bunch of women around the office what their personal experience was with abortion and I got to admit I learned a lot from the HR meeting they made me go to as a result but I do know this ruling will have a disproportionate effect on poor people I mean most Americans don't have access to the same resources that I do I mean the average person can't just text Lauren in the middle of the night and say yo it happened again I just don't get why Republicans are so against this I mean maybe don't
• 24:30 - 25:00 think of it as an abortion think of it as a patriot storming the uterus to overturn the results of an unfair pregnancy chat oh God chat GPT has released a new voice assistant feature inspired by Scarlet Johansson's AI character in her which I've never bothered to watch because without that body what's the point of listening all away
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