The Asexual Dilemma

Summary

Highlights

• Exploration of the video "The Asexual Dilemma" by c-e-r-o-s TV that prompted a discussion on asexuality. 🎥
• Discussion on the compartments within the asexual spectrum, such as cupiosexual and graysexual. 🌈
• Insightful narrative on how societal norms pressure individuals to equate self-worth with sexual desirability. 🧠
• Reflecting on the relationship challenges faced when an asexual person dates someone with different sexual needs. 💑
• Encouragement for open dialogue on asexuality to combat isolation and misinformation. 🔊
• Emphasis on the empowerment stemming from understanding one's identity and desires. 🌟

Key Takeaways

• Asexuality is far from a black-and-white issue—there are nuanced experiences within the spectrum. 🌈
• Society's obsession with sex can lead to self-worth being tied to sexual desirability, impacting both asexual and allosexual individuals. 💔
• Terms like cupiosexual, demisexual, and graysexual provide further distinctions within the asexual community, highlighting diverse experiences. 📚
• Relationships involving an asexual partner often require tough choices if both parties are to find fulfillment. 💭
• Open dialogue about asexuality and its spectrum fosters understanding and eases isolation within the community. 🗣️
• Learning about diverse sexual orientations enhances empathy and inclusivity within societal discourse. 🌍

Overview

Chapters

• 00:00 - 10:30: Introduction and Asexuality Discussion In this chapter titled 'Introduction and Asexuality Discussion,' the speaker welcomes the audience to the podcast 'Random Talks,' where a wide range of topics are discussed. The speaker reflects on the previous episode, describing it as intense and filled with negativity. They mention coming across a thought-provoking video that inspired them to revisit a topic for discussion on 'Random Talks.' The speaker expresses a desire to create an episode focusing specifically on this topic and discusses potential plans for future content.
• 10:30 - 18:30: Reader Story Discussion This chapter explores the concept of asexuality, emphasizing that it is not a simple black and white issue but rather contains many nuances and variations. It begins by referencing a video titled 'The Asexual Dilemma' by CEROS TV, which the speaker plans to link to further elaborate on the complexity of asexuality.
• 18:30 - 27:00: Artist and Music Discussion The chapter titled 'Artist and Music Discussion' includes a discussion about a video titled 'The Asexual Dilemma.' The video serves as an online diary where the speaker shares their experiences as an asexual person. A highlighted quote from the video emphasizes a desire for deeper connections beyond physical intimacy, indicating the speaker's wish to engage in significant activities outside of sexual contexts.
• 27:00 - 30:20: Book Recommendations The chapter titled 'Book Recommendations' explores the theme of sexual expression in contemporary society. The speaker reflects on how various intimate activities, such as dining or reading together, emphasize the importance of sex today. They express appreciation for the current peak in sexual expression, celebrating its beauty and wonder. The chapter hints at a venture into more provocative discussions, suggesting the creation of 'random talks after hours,' which would delve into more daring and exciting topics.
• 30:20 - 39:00: Anime and TV Shows The chapter titled 'Anime and TV Shows' explores the complex relationship between sex, love, and validation. It discusses how some individuals perceive sex as a conduit for expressing and receiving love, regardless of their actual relationship status. The narrator reflects on personal experiences, notably how therapy and communication in their relationship illuminated the role of sex in feeling loved and validated. This summary emphasizes the intertwining of sex, love, and personal worth in romantic contexts.
• 39:00 - 46:30: Reality TV and Personal Anecdotes The chapter titled 'Reality TV and Personal Anecdotes' discusses an individual's realization about their previous reliance on sexual encounters for self-validation and confidence. Initially, the person believed that attracting others physically validated their appeal and worth. However, they later recognized this as a misplaced source of self-esteem, acknowledging that confidence shouldn't solely stem from how others perceive or desire them sexually.
• 46:30 - 58:30: Series Discussion and Engagement The chapter "Series Discussion and Engagement" delves into societal perceptions of sex and how it impacts individuals, particularly in relation to desire and normalcy. The speaker reflects on personal experiences and observes a broader issue, not just within the asexual community, but in society as a whole, where sex is often perceived as a means to attain desire and visibility. This chapter highlights the problematic nature of this perception and its effects on both personal identity and community norms.
• 58:30 - 67:00: Announcement for New Segment The chapter titled 'Announcement for New Segment' discusses the isolating nature of certain experiences. It highlights how the need to please others can arise from personal challenges, using the example of someone whose later hyperfixation on sex led to a tendency to become a people pleaser, despite not experiencing sexual desire themselves.
• 67:00 - 71:30: Conclusion and Final Thoughts The concluding chapter delves into the complexities surrounding asexual individuals engaging in sexual activities. The speaker reflects on the nuanced understanding of consent and the motivations behind such acts, emphasizing that it's not about personal desire but rather the enjoyment of making their partner happy. This act of consensual engagement, despite the lack of personal desire, is questioned by the speaker, contemplating the nature of consent among asexual individuals.

The Asexual Dilemma Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 hello hello hello and welcome to the random talks where we speak of everything and nothing at the same damn time last video was a lot right right I thought it was just me cuz I was like o just the negativity in the air I was oh my God girl I did come across a video that caught my eye and it gave me a really new perspective on a topic that I meant to go over on the random talks but I just hadn't done it I wanted to do a sex Iration episode about it so we could
• 00:30 - 01:00 learn more about asexuality there's so much more to asexuality than I originally thought like I thought it was just a and b black and white and of course as per usual with many things in life nothing is black and white there's always like a gray area and then multiple Shades between that so well I first want to start with the video that I came across it was a video made by um c e r o s TV and it's titled the asexual dilemma I'm going to try and Link it
• 01:00 - 01:30 below but if not again it's c e r o SV and the video title is the asexual Dilemma to me it seems as if the video was kind of like a online diary like a video diary of the person speaking about their experience as an asexual person and a quote that really stuck with me in this video was I didn't really care for the aspect of seeing them in the bedroom I had wished that there was a deeper task that I could do with somebody outside of being in a birthday suit to
• 01:30 - 02:00 and fro in the buff maybe dinner or a picnic or reading a book together which in turn made me realize how it made me realize how sex is so important especially in like our society at the moment because if I'm being honest this might be the peak of sexual expression which is beautiful I think it's I think it's wonderful I think it's beautiful like I'm even creating a random talks after hours where we get a little runchy we get a little crazy and that's cool and that's great but now it's gotten to
• 02:00 - 02:30 a point where sex is expected to be happy and those that you know might not have the best relationship when it comes to love um see sex as a a window to receiving love or to giving love and I want to Branch off from that just for a bit because I myself have noticed through therapy and through like you know Communication in my relationship how important sex was for me to feel loved or for me to feel validated I felt
• 02:30 - 03:00 like oh if this person sleeps with me then they're obviously attracted and so like oh that means I'm hot right like it was like a sense of validation from having sex with this person and and of course like now I'm like notime n do want some [ __ ] like and and you know and that's okay that's not a problem like so to say but it's just the problem started where my confidence was based on how a person wanted me sexually
• 03:00 - 03:30 right and I say that because I feel like it's definitely not just me I can see how many people especially now feel as if sex should be desired to be desired even the video creator themselves stated that they hyperfixated on sex as a way to be desired as a way to be seen as normal as a way to be seen and I'm just like this is a problem not even just in the asexual Community this is just a problem I can definitely see how being a an asexual person especially now at the
• 03:30 - 04:00 moment can be what's the word I want to use I can see how it can be isolating you know I can definitely see how that can be isolating it breeds this need to please other people again they even said in this video that you know their hyperfixation on sex later developed to them being a people pleaser and wanting to please people even though they feel no sexual desire themselves
• 04:00 - 04:30 it's just the act itself that they enjoy it's not even that they have like oh like I don't really want to [ __ ] you right now but it's just if I [ __ ] you I know you're going to be happy so let me [ __ ] you it's you know and I'm not going to lie a part of me is like bro is that how is that consensual I mean of course it is cuz a person consents like it can be consensual but I feel like like I was like how can you be asexual and have sex with someone even though you don't want to have sex like I just didn't
• 04:30 - 05:00 understand and then I came across a cupio seexual I'm just going to say cupio it could be I don't know it could be CIO c u p IO I just say cupio cuz it kind of sounds like cupid and it's also February so but cupio sexuality refers to an individual who does not experience sexual desire but still wants a sexual relationship like other micro labels that fall under the asexual umbrella such as graysexual and demisexual cupiosexual represents the level of sexual attraction that someone
• 05:00 - 05:30 experiences so if you're a CIO seexual you want a sexual relationship but don't feel sexual attraction to others like I didn't know that I didn't even know I didn't even know how to spell if you said qo sexual to me right now i' be like how you spell that with a k i what how do what I didn't this another thing this is why I love learning this is why I am so open to learning because you learn something new every day me learning and sitting on my platform
• 05:30 - 06:00 right now and probably educating some people that didn't know about this either or maybe even putting some light bulbs in some people's head that they're like wait wait a [ __ ] man I might be a [ __ ] qo seexual like I think that is just it should be talked about we don't talk enough about asexuals and I was going to do again I was going to do a sex spiration episode about asexuals but this person's video inspired me to do this video cuz I'm like damn first of all I don't even want to get cuz I was going to do a little a should I found on the internet find some wonky funny [ __ ] but I'm like no I should talk about this
• 06:00 - 06:30 y we need to talk about asexuals we should be learning about asexuals you guys should have a lie let's get into the labels that fall under asexuals cuz I didn't even know there was more I thought it was just asexual asexual but there's more I first want to begin with asexual people who experience little to no sexual attraction to others right then there's demisexual people who only experience sexual attraction to someone after they have a close emotion bond
• 06:30 - 07:00 with them then there's Ace flux people whose sexual orientation changes over time but generally stays on the asexual Spectrum then there's apoy seexual I hope that's how you say it [ __ ] don't judge me people who are sex repulsed meaning they are averse to the idea of engaging in sex oh [ __ ] get your ass away from me is what they saying then I'm sorry for yelling in the mic then we have gray sexual people who are primarily a sexual but only experience
• 07:00 - 07:30 sexual attraction very rarely then they have here other related terms aromantic people who experience little to know romantic attraction oh wow I didn't know that and then alosexual people who experience sexual attraction Okay cool so like you see how there's just so much more to that there's it's like an umbrella [ __ ] it's an umbrella and nobody talks about that I'm just like so we just go about life again just walking around it's the same thing with like intersex people I like we don't talk
• 07:30 - 08:00 about people like intersex people enough like we are again we are so diverse as humans for us not to talk about the diversity it's just a and b to the majority I'm not saying that's like a and b for everyone but that's just what's pushed is a and b to the majority when there's just so many other letters in a [ __ ] alphabet that we don't talk about but the video creator also speaks about you know relationships and how dating as an asexual is difficult which I can definitely understand especially because a lot of
• 08:00 - 08:30 people I think I remember reading like one out of 99 people are asexual in so you're in a world where everybody want to [ __ ] you don't want to [ __ ] how can you [ __ ] and especially because some people sex is very important for myself sex is important I like to get like I'm not g to say it on camera like that crazy but you know the girl the girl you know [ __ ] like so but with that being said I'm like damn I don't know how I would be able to do it but like I can
• 08:30 - 09:00 understand how it's difficult I do have a redditor story that I found online that I maybe want to share with you guys and see what would you do can you relate have you already gone through a situation like this let's speak about it so the title is my girlfriend is asexual I am not my girlfriend told me about her asexuality a couple months ago and at the time we spoke about trying to compromise to keep each other happy with what we wanted and I didn't mind that we would end up having sex less often we
• 09:00 - 09:30 were very happy for the next few months and did have sex on one occasion that was about 6 months ago yesterday after speaking about having sex again we spoke and she said she doesn't want to do it again ever she said she has no desire and it's not my fault it's just how she feels and I get that no part of this problem is her fault and I'll always respect her decision however she said she feels bad because I'm going to miss out and doesn't want to hold me back saying she'll understand if I leave her
• 09:30 - 10:00 because of it but I really love her and the last thing I want is to lose her every other part of this relationship is perfect I just don't know if I can fully be happy in a sexist relationship I don't know what to do someone then replied it comes down to the question of what would you rather have a sexual relationship or a relationship with her you can't have both okay all right hold on they eating let's let's see you wouldn't be wrong or selfish to leave because ultimately you seem to have
• 10:00 - 10:30 needs that conflict with each others she tried to compromise but greatly disliked it and won't be able to handle giving up her need to never have sex if you don't value it enough in your life that you think you could give it up entirely cool but if you can't then you can't and best case scenario you two can stay friends sometimes love just isn't enough to keep a relationship together if you won't be fulfilled in a sexless relationship leave the relationship period at the the end of the day it's going to hurt
• 10:30 - 11:00 yourself to be in that relationship because you're not fulfilled you're not satisfied you're probably going to get more frustrated and angrier she's going to feel forced like you don't if you're not compatible that's fine that's fine sometimes y'all just be hanging on to the thought of people though so it's like even though yall not compatible it's just like a we've already been together so long they're all I know your big ass bro up girl up sorry I don't
• 11:00 - 11:30 want say grow up this is grown up this we having grown up feelings right now but like damn if you try to stay together and it just gets more frustrating you might end up harboring undeserved resentment towards her for not having sex with you see I told you you going to get frustrated you going to be like damn [ __ ] you don't want to put that [ __ ] on me like no she said no she don't want have she want to put that [ __ ] on you she don't you got to go like and that's okay again it's fine to leave I know it's hard to leave but it's fine to do so so he then replied yeah I
• 11:30 - 12:00 think I knew this to begin with I just didn't want to admit it because I don't want to lose her part of me wants to keep going see how it goes without sex because it's been okay for the past 6 months but I also don't want to make things worse and make the breakup any harder than it has to be I just don't think I can be entirely happy in a relationship without any form of sexual activity the same person then replied you know the answer then you can be okay without sex for long stretches of time but but you know it's something you want
• 12:00 - 12:30 in life and you can't just give it up indefinitely love her and yourself enough to end it let me read it again put a [ __ ] in the back that even though this situation is not you know it doesn't it doesn't relate to you entirely but this quote in itself might help you she deserves a relationship where she doesn't have to worry that she isn't able to provide for her partner and you deserve a relationship where all your needs are met you'll both be happiest and most fulfilled if you can find people who are compatible with you you can still love one another remain
• 12:30 - 13:00 friends and be happy for each other as you move forward with other relationships but staying together will only make her more insecure and you more frustrated be sure to communicate to her that you love her a lot likely always will and it was a hard decision to make by your descriptions I think she might be insecure about her asexuality so make sure she knows there's nothing wrong with her it's just an incompatibility because otherwise I think she's going to default to blaming herself and feel like she was the problem instead of it being a neutral
• 13:00 - 13:30 blameless thing like one partner wanting kids and the other wanting to be childfree neither are wrong but they are conflicting wants and the best thing to do for both of you is to let you find the most fulfilling life and that was it wow I like that one that one was good cuz you know sometimes I be reading replies and they just be rude to the to the op I'm like what sometimes y'all just have no coup have you no class have you no coup like y'all just so rude to people just cuz you behind the screen
• 13:30 - 14:00 but that was too cute I like that they gave honest straightforward but also like it was gentle I like how they understood the op's feelings and they also understood op's girlfriend so well X now hopefully I love when people have real conversations cuz at the end of the day like this is all our first time being here so we have not been here before this is our first try we're going to make mistakes we're going to have to make decisions that are a bit different that are a bit hard to do but at the end of the day like we're human that's not me getting all gushy and like a humans
• 14:00 - 14:30 you know sometimes I do it sometimes I be like humans but then sometimes like a you're just a girl you're just a boy we're just humans but then other times I'm like girl you're a man you're a woman that's going to be it for the [ __ ] I found on the internet segment but I do want to give another shout out to SOS I'm just going to say SOS I hope that's their name so again it's c e r oos TV shout
• 14:30 - 15:00 out to you that video was wonderful it was beautiful if you ever watched this it was wonderful it was beautiful I really enjoyed it and I want to say thank you for sharing your experience being an asexual person like we we and I mean like we as in people need to hear this but as well as like asexual individuals that feel as if their personal experience are like oneof or they feel like the anomaly anomaly anomal whatever they they feel they feel isolated because of the way they are when they they're human anyway let's get
• 15:00 - 15:30 into my next segment latest obsessions where I speak about what I'm obsessed with do do do you always do this girl she always just trickles her way into one of these episodes not trickles her way but like so while working on the patreon I was listening to Demons by DOA cat which yes I said patreon um I'm not going to give you guys like any sneak peeks but I will say like I am genuinely so excited because I kind of feel like lowkey lowest of the low low
• 15:30 - 16:00 low low key I think after hours is a lot more fun than random talks I think because it's so interactive so I'm probably going to make a post so look out for this post for real look out for the community post on YouTube and I might make it on Instagram cuz y'all don't follow my Instagram trt pod literally trt p o d trt pod what I'm trying to say is after hours is a lot more interactive with you guys so I'm bringing you guys into the space so you don't feel as if like cuz at the end of today I'm looking at this [ __ ] camera
• 16:00 - 16:30 I'm just looking at a black hole right now like girl where's the substance but if I like do like a random call with one of you [ __ ] or I know you guys sent me an email or I have like a little voice note from one of you guys I would love that I I would love that I'm not going to tell you should I tell you no I'm not I'm not going to tell you what the segments are yet but I just want you to know patreon is going to be a lot of fun and for the people that do plan on joining the community or will eventually join the community I think patreon will
• 16:30 - 17:00 be really fun for you guys but while I was working on patreon girl when this song comes on I just feel like I feel like I'm just big oh girl wait hold on let me finish like I'm stomping around like a city like like I'm what is it what is it called what's the [ __ ] that be blow a he be that didn't make any sense I'm so sorry that was like a brain fart I was thinking about like three things at once what is the Godzilla there you go you really can't make this [ __ ] up this ADHD [ __ ]
• 17:00 - 17:30 is just not a joke so she said I am on to bigger things I just bought a limousine you live like me in your dreams I just quit the nicotine if you throwing dick at me do it [ __ ] that [ __ ] should be big at least do it [ __ ] sorry felt that one [ __ ] I'mma bring the heat I'mma bring the cold you should bring your skis it's not like ooh lyrics go crazy but it's just the beat and how effort LLY she was just like yeah I'm just
• 17:30 - 18:00 going to say that [ __ ] so what boom I love that music is supposed to be fun I feel like it's no longer fun for people because you know you lose sight most of these legendary hits that we hear are made through passion people don't be having passion no more cuz they feel like let me put this let me put this out real quick cuz I need it a let me put this out cuz I need that check like oh girl have fun have have your passion it's your craft I feel like music doesn't like and that's why I like doas because at the end of the day yes she is a controversial person outside of the
• 18:00 - 18:30 booth but when she gets inside the booth she genuinely has fun doing what she loved and that's what the Scarlet album was about it was her other albums were her but they weren't her highest self musically which people yeah we enjoyed it we loved it but she was like that's not it's not really me dude and that's okay so now we have her other album scarlet and I just love to see like she's just having fun she said if you throwing dick at me and her adli said do
• 18:30 - 19:00 it [ __ ] that [ __ ] should be big at least do it [ __ ] she said [ __ ] throw that dick at me but you better throw some big dick at me like I [ __ ] with that a lot of that's not oh no that's not um stupid anyway the next song is said by hunia and I hope that's how you say it h u n j i y a a and she said you
• 19:00 - 19:30 stumble and you're sorry for what wasn't your fault never left your side you want to make it right you keep trying to make this work work this out forgetting all the reasons don't tell me it's confusing keep on trying to make this work work this out forgetting where we left off um I added this song because I am on like a little journey that's crazy speaking about music yeah I guess I guess I'll tell you guys I'm kind of on a journey with music um on Spotify I have different playlists like oh this is my
• 19:30 - 20:00 2019 2020 da d da and every playlist that I've made was a different era for myself so I'm going through those playlists and one that really sticks with me is my 2019 playlist because I live close to downtown now like I live like my close Downtown Miami but when I discovered this song When I was a girl from you know not the best area y already know that but i't going to get into that with it it's not a stop
• 20:00 - 20:30 story [ __ ] we up now but like I wasn't I wasn't in the best area um I was very like closed off in general in my childhood and that's just due to like Financial ability like we could not do much because we just could not afford to do much so in 2019 as a teen meeting different people and like even just going on car rides this song for some reason listening to song in the car speaking with my like at the time
• 20:30 - 21:00 like friend and US driving the downtown like going through the city the city was just I don't know the city invoked something into me I was like well maybe because it was just so new just that feeling of newness especially now I want that again and I'm channeling it through music so I know that sounds like a lot but try it out like if you have any any songs any playlists that remind you of certain point in your life and you want
• 21:00 - 21:30 to channel in that energy play that music often so you know your mind it just operates it'll just click your mind will just click and be like ooh it's good vibes again not saying that I was like oh I was down bad cuz I'm doing really good I'm doing really good we'll talk about it probably another episode like you know how therapy's been and stuff like that maybe on the Vlog if you want to locate my Vlog channel it's on it's on the bottom I'm doing a galentine's vlog and I'm also doing a Valentine's Vlog with my man so expect that so I wanted to just probably
• 21:30 - 22:00 share like maybe make it a little exercise for you guys try that out if you have music that genuinely gets you in good spirits and you want to channel in good energy for manifesting I think that's the best way to do it but last song on here is like Ferdinand and Marian by Aiko Sherry and okay listen I translated it it's French y'all know I'm Haitian I don't speak a lior [ __ ] French now listen my mom would probably no she's not prob she is
• 22:00 - 22:30 disappointed but there's lore to that though oh okay brief brief lore when I was younger and my mom was trying to speak Creo to me kids in my school were getting bullied for being one black that's crazy and then why am I laugh that's not funny that's not funny it's not no I think it's just no it's not funny I'm just I'm just laughing at the way my mind was like damn that's crazy and then I said it out loud cuz it's like how the [ __ ] you going to bully me cuz I'm black [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] five like what the [ __ ] it's crazy so
• 22:30 - 23:00 boom when I was younger like kids were being bullied in general and oh let you be black and you're Haitian a African booty scratcher like you stank all your food stinks so when I was younger I was I told my mom I said don't speak that language to me girl how embarrassing girl like now that I'm an adult I know that hurt my mom so much probably especially cuz some sometimes when I speak to her in Creo she's like your cre would be better if
• 23:00 - 23:30 you if you spoke cre as a kid but you said you didn't want to speak that language I said o girl burn me at the steak already girl I said you ate you're right [ __ ] that little kid talking about cuz now I'm an adult and I'm like damn I wish I could speak my native language I can't so I can't speak Creole and I definitely can't speak [ __ ] French mind you I took French one and two I don't know how I passed it I think the teacher was really just rocking with me but I I wish I took that that class ser seriously cuz she was so nice I'm
• 23:30 - 24:00 probably going to visit my old high school and be like what's up [ __ ] how y'all doing y'all okay you want some money not oh not saying that they need some money but I would love to take my teachers out on like a l like a brunch oh that ooh wait a minute that's an idea I'll take my like teachers out on brunch like my old teachers out on brunch okay I translated it the translation is not the best I I hope it's I hope it's good but there's a word
• 24:00 - 24:30 in here that I don't want to say cuz I think it's a slur again I said girl like I know this song is old but hold on let's see how old cuz when did this song come out I love the song mind you I've been listening to it for years see it came out 2015 all right ego IO let's see she said Paris I've had enough I'm bored I would like to go on vacation in the south of France to roll the windows down the White lines that parade when we leave
• 24:30 - 25:00 the city like Ferdinand and Maran read n g PS y that's the word I don't we aren't we not supposed to say that g y PS y isn't that like a slur right it's something bad right striped dresses take me to an island where we live in Exile this is the song for me I play this song it could be the morning it could be the afternoon but it
• 25:00 - 25:30 needs to be one of those sky like a clear blue sky not a [ __ ] cloud in sight and you play this song put your sunglasses on you could be outside you could be inside open up the window let some fresh air in this is one of those songs where I put this on and my mind automatically goes you know life is good like at the end of the day look at the sky look at me me I'm moving I'm healthy life is
• 25:30 - 26:00 really good oh so for books we have where sleeping girls lie Sadie is starting her third year of high school Alfred Nobel Academy boarding school after being homeschooled all her life Misfortune has been a constant companion all her life but even stie doesn't expect her new roommate Elizabeth to disappear after sti's first night or for people to think she had something to do with it m with rumors swirling around her stie catches the attention of the girls collectively known as the Unholy
• 26:00 - 26:30 Trinity and they bring her into their fold between learning more about them especially pispone who Sadie is inexplicably drawn to and playing catchup in class Sadie already has so much on her plate but when it seems people don't care enough about what happened to Elizabeth to really investigate it's up to she and Elizabeth's best friend to solve it and then a student is found dead o as they keep trying to figure out what's going on stie realizes there's more to Alfred
• 26:30 - 27:00 Nobel Academy and its students than she thought Secrets lurk around every corner and beneath every surface secrets that rival even her own y'all know I've grown out of like all the High School drama I'm done you know when you grow up it's like cuz sometimes I put myself in the shoes of the of the character just like damn bro I really don't want to be 16 again that [ __ ] blows you know so I'm like d like I love being gr girl if there are are any youngans watching my videos which you know if YouTube is
• 27:00 - 27:30 approving of these videos then I guess you could be here but it depends on how young if you like 16 all right you know I was consuming some crazy content at 16 so this video ain't that crazy it's not like I'm popping my [ __ ] so but I better not see y'all on the patreon how yall even got some money huh I can't say that I was working since I was 14 so hypocrite but you know I've grown out of that I'm like uh I don't want but when it is messy M I will be there I will be there you know what I
• 27:30 - 28:00 don't know why I just started thinking of this do y'all remember what is it called House of um is it House of Anubis House of Anubis oh my God yes it's House of Anubis it was on I think it was on Nick Nickelodeon girl girl wait hold on stop memory input it into my mind do y'all remember House of anus like please tell me somebody remember house oh I got to look it up cuz I want to make sure that's the name cuz if I'm just saying the wrong name
• 28:00 - 28:30 y'all be like KY that's not really the name g has had three seasons why did it feel like it was so much shorter than that I remember watching this as a kid first of all came out 2011 who remembers oh that era I'm sorry for screaming that era of life was just so I would wait for this to come on my mom's like Oh get ready to go to bed I said get ready to go to bed you don't know what you don't know what's about to come on mother it's Peak you don't know
• 28:30 - 29:00 I tried to rewatch it like two years ago and I was like okay oh y definitely something uh 10 year-old would be consuming like that I was well how old was I in 2011 first of all girl I wasn't even 10 I was eight G spooky spooky spooky cuz why am I 21 now spooky spooky spooky [ __ ] that are my age we're getting grown I've dropped out of school three times now I'm like damn am I ever going to get it education that's not funny I'm following
• 29:00 - 29:30 my dreams I'm going to be a YouTuber mom you don't get it I'm going to be I'm going to be content creator I'm going to be a star mom you just don't get it that's what I keep trying to tell my grandma and she said you go to school I said yeah Grandma I'mma go to school baby for business it's going to be hard I was like yeah even though I want to do a this is off topic again sorry y'all y'all know the ADHD but it's like yeah even do I want to do a major that will
• 29:30 - 30:00 satisfy the creative point in me cuz you you guys know I love to draw I do want to create a TV show at some point an animated show based off a book that I'd like to write as well um girl that that didn't go pay to abuse so I said you know as a person that does want to own a business at some point I can just [ __ ] go to school for business and see what I can do for the business that will help fuel my creative bone you understand so I started wanting
• 30:00 - 30:30 to think strategically but at the moment I got to pay fast for back cuz yeah I failed those classes cuz I just stopped going which I'm wrong for that I should have quit I forgot to quit I did you know how we have book clubs do y'all want to start like a series where every other episode like we'll watch two episodes and then we come back together and we talk about it in the comment section what can I tell y'all to comment cuz I told yall comment bear I was crying to see how many people commented
• 30:30 - 31:00 bear to know that that amount of people watch my videos to the end oh I was crying yeah I wasn't going to tell y'all cuz you know when people be like I'm crying I I I don't want to see you cry on camera [ __ ] I'm an empath but it ain't moving me so it's like I don't want to sit here and get emotional but that was crazy guys yeah y'all ate thank you so much for commenting bear if you did comment bear I'm going to try not to cry because that's that's crazy I'm not crying on camera but um if you guys
• 31:00 - 31:30 comment a tree anime so I am watching my happy marriage but I'm watching season 2 I believe I mentioned before in a video like my happy marriage became my comfort anime especially when I was single because being single well I didn't even get to say it yet well I [ __ ] I was a sad [ __ ] and I was like okay I want to feel something so let me go and watch you know just it's the same thing as how I can't watch American romance because I feel like they get to the point to too fast like I
• 31:30 - 32:00 want to fall in love with the character like I love I want to fall with the character for the character so my happy marriage became a comfort anime for me if you've never heard of my happy marriage the description is despised by her stepmother and sister Mi is treated like a servant in her own home one day her father calls her in to discuss her future but I'm on season 2 which I have been so excited about I just love like that Comfort anime again but then I forgot that it comes out every Thursday
• 32:00 - 32:30 so I got to wait I said oh my gosh girl if you're seeking a new Comfort anime to add to your playlist you know just for the days where you just want something in the background or you want to watch something quickly while you eat I think that one is the show for you but let's talk about Sakamoto days because no I know I probably offended a lot of people by saying that and I'm confused why I haven't read the Manga my boyfriend
• 32:30 - 33:00 has from what he has told me the manga is better than the anime but even the anime I was like um it just didn't grab me but for y'all to say Sakamoto days is Peak o controversial when we have actual Peak animes no shade no no sh no sh no sh no T that came out this year for y'all to say Sakamoto days is peak who is saying that who's agreeing why
• 33:00 - 33:30 are they agreeing let's find them I'm just kidding but yeah T mother days is all right it's not it's not the best for me it just wasn't hitting it's just not hitting how some other animes were hitting and maybe I'm a little biased because people were saying it's Peak and I'm like you think that's Peak when this came out there's just no [ __ ] way it's a cute don't get me wrong it's a cute little anime I love it he look like a little marshmallow and I love it he's so cute like I can definitely see how someone would like the anime but it's just not for me and girl I definitely
• 33:30 - 34:00 don't feel as if it's Peak and that's why I love having my own opinion cuz I'm going to run my [ __ ] mouth for shows I actually started this last I started this last night cuz I was setting up my TV stand that took me girl I got home what time did he dropped me off home I got home probably like 10:00 I didn't lie down in my bed until 4:30 in the morning I'm never buying another TV stand from this brand ever again and I want to put them on blast cuz why the [ __ ] did it take me so like it took me
• 34:00 - 34:30 so long and it was so hard to set up this goddamn TV stand and then on top of that I had to like you know cuz y'all know I'm like cover the Builder so I had to tweak it a little bit for my for my [ __ ] uh uh uh for my drawers to stay on I was like bro how could you do this Bodkin is so good like even though I was stressed I was still like looking at the show cuz it was good I was like what is is Juicy I think I'm already on like episode 5 mind you started last night the description is a rag crew of podcasters
• 34:30 - 35:00 hey how you doing sets out to investigate mysterious disappearances from decades earlier in a Charming Irish town with dark Dreadful Secrets right it's just something about accents when I watch a show like love America yay cool yeah slay like there's some really good American shows but lately I have just been watching non-american shows because I just feel like the acting in different parts of the world it's just so much better y'all know I love Bollywood oo girl stop it
• 35:00 - 35:30 I'm really excited to meet my man's Mama because he's Indian his mama is like his grandma is Indian and I heard she love Bollywood dramas oh I can't wait to go and sit with her and be like y Mama let's watch yeah I'm a lie I can't wait cuz I love good little Bollywood film I love a UK film oo African shows oh girl wait hold on there's a show I started on Netflix which American reality TV oh no keep it away from me keep it
• 35:30 - 36:00 away African reality TV I'm listening cuz young what is it Young Rich and African I was like oh my gosh bro let me start this like I was like let me watch it see if I I could talk [ __ ] about it I started it girl I think I'm on season 3 I think I'm on season three cuz why is it so good I was like girl you can't be actually good I'm getting attached to certain char characters I'm like oh this [ __ ] is so childish we're grown what I
• 36:00 - 36:30 will say it's just something about these grown ass [ __ ] adults and not being able to communicate like one I just think that's that's like repeated not even just in America not even just in African it's all around I really hope that jenzy is the start of at least working on communication so at some point when we become official adults cuz we adults but we not official adults I feel like we official adults when we hit like ooh 35 45 like I okay you know so I hope at that
• 36:30 - 37:00 point we are at a a position where we are speaking to one another and to others like we're adults cuz girl this real I be watching reality and I'm like you could be my mom and you don't even know how to tell someone that you felt offended cuz they said this about you over the phone you yelling you doing slimy [ __ ] you printing out you printing out [ __ ] t-shirts you're being sh like it's childish things that I've seen and again it's it probably is for
• 37:00 - 37:30 the camera which a lot of it is for the camera but T but like you know so I get it that's your job you supposed to entertain young black African and Messi you should have put young black African and messy cuz if you did that then I would have like you know I knew what I was getting myself into but that's all there is is just mess they be starting drama just for no reason and if you want you want to watch a show that just genuinely does not do anything for you that's the show I put it on I put that show on last night too but I was like H I'm lacking substance and that's when I I started Bodin young black African
• 37:30 - 38:00 that's beautiful that's a beautiful little name and you click it and it's just messy [ __ ] okay as expected like that's what people look like that's what they look like they like oh [ __ ] fighting again oh as per usual come on we are nearing the end of the video but I do want to give an announcement cuz this is the official launch to my new segment I'm sorry to announce that segment 3 the free flow segment will no longer be with us instead segment three will be now pillow talk it's for
• 38:00 - 38:30 listener confessions and interviews ahh wait let me finish let me read you the description for Segment three a fully interactive segment where listeners submit their steamiest funniest or most thought-provoking confessions and questions I will also have guests so they'll be speaking about your experiences too so my patreon is going to be very interactive but I wanted to bring that energy just to the random talks so you guys know you know for the people that can't pay they don't feel left out I don't want you to feel
• 38:30 - 39:00 left out because you can't pay for my [ __ ] patreon that's fine you're still getting good content you're just not getting the crazy nasty dirty nasty R freaky [ __ ] [ __ ] you know that's okay that's perfectly fine I love you here too with that being said in preparation for next week's video I will be doing a post for confessions and like thought-provoking topics and things of that such for me to discuss in segment three I will try posting like a link or something that you guys can press to do these confessions anonymously every week
• 39:00 - 39:30 just so we're like you know fresh I also have my email that I will provide on there too but I really want your stories to be heard and seen and I'm giving you a platform to do so so take it for granted [ __ ] you can send how many [ __ ] stories you want I'll probably cover them all if they're good and they're juicy I really don't want to feel like I'm speaking into a camera even though I am I want to feel like I'm speaking to you guys cuz I know I'm speaking to you guys I know you'll be watching this I know you'll be looking right back at me we looking at each other right now so make me feel like I
• 39:30 - 40:00 want to feel like I'm speaking to somebody else so please if you guys have any confessions if you have anything you want to say like any conversations that you've been having or like pillow talks and stuff like that comment it comment it in the little thing that I post please take advantage of this segment it's for you guys but thank you so much for watching take care brush your hair wash that [ __ ] Dairy a and drop that [ __ ] drop that
• 40:00 - 40:30 [ __ ] you only like him cuz he got good dick he's a great top but he don't even clean his [ __ ] room you walk in that [ __ ] room there's cans there's dirty bowls he's he got dishes in the sink what drop that [ __ ] good dick bad dick it don't matter he nasty y'all be [ __ ] with the nasty nasty as [ __ ] tops and y'all know who I'm talking about when I say tops I
• 40:30 - 41:00 don't mean to sing y'all [ __ ] out here but bottoms versus H H y'all be messing with these nasty [ __ ] and it's talk well as long as the dick clean as long as the dick clean [ __ ] I remember the first time I heard that I said what the [ __ ] drop that [ __ ] thank you for watching drop that [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm not [ __ ] playing for real or talk about his story you know
• 41:00 - 41:30 talk about the story like tell us how y'all met like tell us how dirty it was provide pictures we want receipts so I can put it on screen like but don't like you know maybe not well I don't know you could provide pictures for me but I probably won't put it on screen you can tell me if you want me to put it on screen or not whatever girl I love you bye bye [ __ ] bye