Watch This If All You Do Is Gym & Work

Summary

The video discusses the often-neglected phase of a man's life, called 'Purgatory,' which occurs after typical youthful pursuits lose their appeal but before traditional markers of adulthood such as marriage and family kick in. It highlights the struggle men face when transitioning from a lifestyle centered around partying and youthful habits to a more mature, purposeful existence. The creator shares personal insights and encourages finding fulfillment beyond conventional activities, emphasizing the importance of building a life setup that includes like-minded peers and high-quality relationships. The video suggests that early adulthood can be isolating for men who grow out of youthful habits faster than their peers, but it reassures them that life becomes more rewarding in later stages.

Highlights

• Men struggle with transitioning from youthful activities to adult responsibilities. 🎢
• The video emphasizes the importance of a supportive community. 🤝
• Adventure and maturity beyond conventional paths provide deeper fulfillment. 🌍
• Early adulthood is a "Purgatory" where men redefine their identities. 🔄
• Finding joy in personal and professional development is key. 💪

Key Takeaways

• Men often face a 'Purgatory' phase after youthful habits lose their charm. 🎭
• It's crucial to find meaningful and fulfilling pursuits beyond partying. 🚀
• Building a supportive network of like-minded individuals can transform this phase. 👫
• The early years of maturity can feel lonely but pave the way for a richer life later. 🌱
• Focusing on personal growth and long-term goals leads to lasting satisfaction. 🏆

Overview

In this video, the creator delves into a distinct phase of adulthood often experienced by men, dubbed 'Purgatory,' where youthful pursuits no longer satisfy, yet traditional adult milestones seem distant. This phase is marked by isolation and a lack of guidance on how to live a fulfilling life.

The creator shares personal anecdotes about maturing quickly due to life circumstances, and gives insights into how men can find meaningful activities and connections during this transitional period. He stresses the importance of focusing on long-term goals and surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals who understand this unique challenge.

Ultimately, the video offers a reassuring message that although this 'Purgatory' stage feels isolating, it is a necessary part of personal development that leads to a richer, more rewarding life. It encourages viewers to embrace this phase as a step towards self-betterment and finding one's own path.

Chapters

• 00:00 - 01:00: Introduction and Personal Story The chapter titled 'Introduction and Personal Story' explores the author's introspection on reaching an older age and realizing that men generally lack direction beyond the age of 25. The author shares a personal narrative marked by a forced maturity due to several unexpected deaths and the burden of a father working multiple jobs. The author reflects on a childhood taken away, dealing with baldness at a young age, and not fitting into the typical nightlife scene due to an inability to dance and a commitment to avoid alcohol for the sake of football. The narrative also touches upon the lack of romantic interests at a young age and the unexpected turn away from pursuing athletics.
• 01:00 - 02:00: Career Success and Sacrifices The chapter titled 'Career Success and Sacrifices' explores the narrator's realization that achieving career success became their sole focus. To turn their life around, they made significant sacrifices, including giving up video games and entertainment, and stopped following their favorite sports team. The narrator adopted a disciplined lifestyle, going to bed early even on weekends and waking up early to go to the gym. Despite these sacrifices, they experienced their efforts paying off, found a supportive community, and discovered a personal breakthrough.
• 02:00 - 03:00: Purgatory Phase in Men's Lives The chapter discusses a transitional phase in men's lives termed as 'Purgatory'. It highlights how this phase, taking about a decade to reach, involves letting go of youthful distractions like sports, video games, partying, and casual relationships to pursue a more meaningful existence. In this limbo, men often find themselves out of sync with their peers who continue to indulge in such activities, aligning more with those in their 30s and 40s who are typically settled with marriages.
• 03:00 - 04:00: Social Challenges for Men The chapter explores the social challenges men face during a transitional period in their lives, often referred to as the 'between years.' This stage is characterized by a feeling of being fed up with partying and late nights, yet not feeling ready to settle down with a wife and kids. The narrative describes a lifestyle where weekends are spent alone, punctuated only by trips to the gym or grocery store, highlighting isolation. Men find it difficult to make new, like-minded friends and feel unqualified to attract the partners they truly desire, which leads to feelings of inadequacy. There's also a suggestion that settling for less than they want to avoid loneliness could feel like a personal falsehood or weakness. This prompts a broader inquiry into whether maturing faster than one's peers presents its own set of challenges.
• 04:00 - 05:00: Gym and Business as Solitary Activities After the age of 25, many men seem to struggle with knowing how to live their lives. The speaker suggests that this issue can arise even at the age of 21 for some. The speaker reflects on their personal experience of facing this struggle, marking it as a notable point in the transition to adulthood.
• 05:00 - 06:00: Lifestyle and Mid-life Challenges The chapter delves into the significant challenges faced in mid-life, highlighting the importance of having meaningful engagements and a supportive community. It references '1M International' and mentions discussions among peers about their potential lack of purpose without such initiatives. The excerpt underscores the vital role of belonging and having future plans, which provide direction and motivation at a stage where life can often seem directionless without such structures.
• 06:00 - 07:00: Socializing and Networking for Success The chapter emphasizes the importance of socializing and networking, highlighting a personal journey of intense focus on business and gym activities. It reflects on the sacrifices made, such as giving up a social life and friends, to concentrate on these solitary pursuits. However, it suggests the potential need for balance and the benefits that social interactions and networking can contribute to personal and professional success.
• 07:00 - 08:00: Life Setup and Pursuing Passion In the chapter titled 'Life Setup and Pursuing Passion,' the narrator reflects on the solitary nature of entrepreneurship, highlighting the individualistic and sometimes isolating aspects of running a business. Despite the typical 9-to-5 work schedule, the reality is more competitive and less communal than it appears. Colleagues may socialize after work, but these relationships often do not extend into genuine friendships, highlighting a life that is primarily consumed by work. The chapter contrasts the typical weekend activities of men and women, noting the men’s tendency to have relaxed weekends while women might be more socially active.
• 08:00 - 09:00: Transition from Youthful Habits The chapter titled 'Transition from Youthful Habits' discusses the mundane and routine nature of youthful activities. It begins with typical weekend activities such as shopping, having coffee with friends, eating out, watching football, and playing the latest video games. These activities are portrayed as lacking purpose and falling into a sort of 'purgatory' or 'zone' where life feels stagnant. It suggests that breaking free from these habits involves deciding to pursue a more traditional life path, such as settling down, getting married, and having children.
• 09:00 - 10:00: Crossing the Chasm in Life The chapter 'Crossing the Chasm in Life' explores the existential questions and challenges faced by individuals, particularly men, as they navigate through different phases of life. It reflects on the concept of 'what’s next' that many people face at certain ages when societal guidance is lacking. The speaker discusses a video they created titled 'The Other Side of Male Life,' which they believe addresses this issue effectively by tapping into consistent thoughts and feelings that arise during such transitions. The video is described as enlightening and thought-provoking, aimed at providing insights beyond the conventional paths laid out by society.
• 10:00 - 11:00: Overcoming Loneliness and Finding Community The chapter highlights how many young men follow a typical life path characterized by partying and excessive drinking. However, at some point, there is a realization that this lifestyle can become unfulfilling. The narrative explores the idea that an alternative to this path exists, one that many do not experience. This alternative involves overcoming feelings of loneliness and finding a sense of community beyond the stereotypical male trajectory.
• 11:00 - 12:00: Embrace Changes and Find Meaning The chapter discusses a moment of realization where an individual, tired of mundane activities, decides to embark on a meaningful journey. This decision often comes later in life, such as around the ages of 24 or 25, leading to a commitment towards significant life goals like saving for a mortgage. The pursuit of saving money for a better life reflects a deep desire to achieve personal milestones, such as owning a home, that once seemed almost mythical.
• 12:00 - 13:00: Conclusion and Words of Encouragement The chapter titled 'Conclusion and Words of Encouragement' discusses the pursuit of material goals and the realization that achieving them might not bring the fulfillment expected. It highlights the common belief that owning significant possessions, like a house, is a milestone symbolizing success. However, it questions what comes after achieving such goals, suggesting a cycle where the possessions start to control one's life, akin to the sentiment expressed in Fight Club by the character Tyler Duran, that 'the things you own end up owning you'. The chapter serves as a reflection on materialism and encourages reevaluating priorities beyond material acquisitions.

Watch This If All You Do Is Gym & Work Transcription

• 00:00 - 00:30 the older I get the more I realize men have no idea how to live beyond 25 if you're anything like me you were forced to grow up overnight multiple unexpected deaths and a single man working five jobs will do that to you my childhood was stripped from me I went bold young didn't feel as though I fit in with a typical nightclub scene I couldn't dance stayed away from alcohol because of football and not many women under 21 are out looking for a skinny broke kid once the athlete route didn't
• 00:30 - 01:00 materialize I realized Career Success was the only hope I had left I gave up everything to turn my life around no more video games no entertainment stopped religiously following my team in bed by 10 p.m. on a Saturday night listening to drunk people in my Alleyway driving to the gym 5:00 a.m. on a Sunday watching those same drunk people stumble home good news is it paid off better news is I found my crowd and discovered something I coined
• 01:00 - 01:30 the other side of mayale life bad news was it took around 10 years to reach this phase this is why I call those middle years Purgatory you give up Sports video games partying women and even friends in order to achieve a better life you fall out of love with immature habits that entertain the masses but you're in limbo no one your age sees the fun in the new way that you're living the ones who do are in their 30s and 40s Mar married with
• 01:30 - 02:00 kids no one taught men how to live in the between years whilst they're building Fed Up of partying and late nights but not ready for a wife and kids you end up spending every weekend by yourself working the only time you leave the house is to go to the gym or buy food it's hard to find new like-minded friends and you're not established enough to date the women you actually want sure you could settle for the sake of not being alone but you'd be lying to yourself showing weakness it begs the question if you mature quicker than
• 02:00 - 02:30 everybody else your age and you don't want the standard early adult life what do you do so I I think this is a serious problem I don't think after a certain age I I said 25 after 25 men don't know how to live do you know what truth be told for a lot of guys I genuinely think it could be 21 years old but after 25 it's almost a guarantee a lot of men have no idea how to live I faced it myself it was was one of the
• 02:30 - 03:00 hardest things where like I'm not I'm not being biased here but this is what 1M International you guys know 1M International with Granada house and all the events around the world and the future plans we have for it I was with the guys the other day and I was saying before that there's a lot of guys that weren't there yet and I was saying to three of the guys at the table what would you be doing today Jim Jim working I was like I'd be working and it was just like if we didn't have this what the hell would we be doing and you know things like that are important because
• 03:00 - 03:30 years ago honestly it got to a point for me where it was like right I'm going to hustle and grind I'm going to work on my business I'm going to get myself to a like a higher level in life I'm going to sacrifice women I'm going to sacrifice my social life I'm going to sacrifice my friends I'm going to give up everything I'm just going to focus on this one pure thing which is business and gym but the two both of those tasks are pretty solitary okay when you're going to the gym you pretty much go on your own okay you might have a gym partner you pretty
• 03:30 - 04:00 much go on your own most of the time when you're working on your business it's it's mainly you on your own just working you know it might be 9 to- five success and yeah you got friends in the office employees and whatnot but it gets vicious everyone goes against each other yeah you you might go for a beer after work but they're not your friends you don't hang out with them on the weekends you know your whole life just revolves around Monday to Friday 9:00 to 5: on the weekend what' you do Saturday I had a chill one that's why I always heard every guy say I had a chill one the girls would go out met with my friends I
• 04:00 - 04:30 went shopping I met my mom we went for a coffee me and the girls just sat in nightsbridge and just had some food guys it's just like what did you do this weekend had a chilled one watched the football um played a couple played that new video game that's just come out and it's just like [ __ ] man people aren't doing anything do you know why because it's a Zone as I said at the start of the video of P of purgatory if you don't do the standard life and you don't say you know what I'm going to settle down and find a woman have have a couple kids get married
• 04:30 - 05:00 whatever there's not a lot for you to do during those years unless you figure out the other side of male life and that's why I made that video years ago about the other side of male life because if you haven't watched it Go watches one of my best ever videos the other side of male life it's it's I say it myself but it is unbelievable because it just Taps into this like consistent thought when you're at a certain age of like what's next what do we do nobody teaches you this and in that video I would mock the
• 05:00 - 05:30 younger years I would mock like people with a car with a loud exhaust you know going to the pub getting drunk just getting smashed out of your mind and I used to say that there's another side to male life that nobody gets to live because here's the standard male trajectory of life okay you come out of school you go and get a job you maybe come out of University you go and get a job you get to a point where maybe you're 22 23 you start realizing actually I'm fed up with being drunk I'm fed up with going out every
• 05:30 - 06:00 single night I'm fed up with eating [ __ ] food playing video games doing whatever it is wasting my time you know for a lot of guys it's later in life but let's just say it hits you at like 24 25 something like that and you go I'm going to save for a mortgage right and that becomes your whole thing you're driven you're powered by the idea of just saving up some money just putting that money in your bank account saving it up and like uh achieving a better life achieving a life that seems like this mystical goal of like I will own my own
• 06:00 - 06:30 piece of land that would be in my name so you do it you chase after it you go after the money you finally get to the the point where you have enough money to put a deposit down the house you buy that house what the [ __ ] do you do after that what the [ __ ] do you do after that you honestly just sit there in this new house and you just go okay 90 is going and get some furniture and it's exactly what they said in Fight Club When Brad Pit's character Tyler Duran is like the things you own end up owning you and
• 06:30 - 07:00 that's what people don't understand is like you chase after this valuable asset which is the the uh the house you then buy furniture for that house then you just fill spaces in that house cuz you're bored you don't really know what you're doing and you know you invite people around now and then but most of the time you're in that house on your own and oh it's a three bedroom you can only sleep in one what's it for and you realize the next checkpoint of life is maybe just meet a woman get married have some kids and stage of the way it's just
• 07:00 - 07:30 like where's my life my life just revolves around all these other people I'm just providing for all these people and I remember guys that I used to work with in finance they use their kids as an excuse I was like what are you doing this weekend and they'd say uh another birthday party and I was like that sucks and they were like it keeps me busy they liked it it was an excuse to not have to go anywhere or do anything it was an excuse to go to bed early it was an excuse to live a normal life and look I think wife and kids I
• 07:30 - 08:00 think it's you know a great goal for men to achieve I think especially you know just the family unit itself minus the marriage I think it's just like the ultimate goal having a beautiful woman that loves you you've got kids you don't have to tie it in with the legalities of marriage but you know you've got that unit of people that love you I think that's amazing but at what stage did you really live for you and that's what so many guys struggle with is we get to a certain age and if you don't want that if you don't want the mortgage kids wife settle down have a normal life past a
• 08:00 - 08:30 certain age there's this middle gap of purgatory where if you're the first one to mature which I was I was the first one to mature in my group where I was like I don't want to go out and get drunk anymore I don't want to sleep around with women I want to sleep with one high quality woman that I think is better than all the others I want to build something valuable I want to build a business I want to explore where that can go I want to reinvest myself I want to see how far I can take my life Chris do you want to come out and get drunk I was like no I'm going to get an early night and hit the
• 08:30 - 09:00 what are you gay that's what I'd always get or like oh what's the point like just wasting your life really you just sat at home you're doing nothing aren't you bored and here's the problem in the early days no I wasn't in the early days I was enjoying the hell out of myself but here's the biggest issue for guys is you will get to whether it's 9 to-5 success whether it's business success whether it's just working on yourself and trying to improve yourself and just continue living your normal life with your normal work or what not your normal income when you work on yourself you alienate yourself from everybody else
• 09:00 - 09:30 you go against the masses so when they're all out drinking party and enjoying themselves you're in right know the start is great it's like I'll show those [ __ ] it's a few years down the line where you go everything I do I do on my own for a lot of people the gym carries their life you know we saw this in covid when gyms were closed and you couldn't go to the office people were like what what do we do you had people on YouTube doing Pub quizzes people were doing quizzes on YouTube to pass the time people were board [ __ ] nobody had anything to do nobody knew
• 09:30 - 10:00 what to do with their time if they couldn't go to the pub couldn't go to the gym couldn't go to work they realized their entire life were revolving around those three things and they exposed it massively and so many young men have that problem where we don't just go for a coffee with friends and have a chat we don't just go in like we don't travel like I I remember when I was young I used say to my friends all the time like because I was making good money before other people were and I was like let's go to Paris go and watch Champions League game and I'll pay but nobody ever really wanted to because I
• 10:00 - 10:30 just don't think guys see it as like what four men going to Paris it's we're not very sociable and it leaves you in a limbo like I said at the start of this video where everybody your age just wants to go out and get drunk you're focused on other goals you can do it for x amount of time but then it just becomes lonely and now everything you're doing you're on your own you go to the gym you're on your own you go try and socialize like I used to go out on my own and just mix in with people and whatnot not and it used to work but like you know you're going
• 10:30 - 11:00 on a couple of dates but you've not really got like a woman in your life and then when you do get a woman you're obsess with her you just spend all your time on her cuz you're like I don't really know what to do with my time but then you're not at the point yet where you want to have kids and a wife and settled down just in this Purgatory Zone and I think there's a lot of men that are in there where it's like it gets to Saturday and you go or Friday night and you go great um I don't really know I'm not really going to do anything I'm just going to sit cook some food go to the gym come back and it it looks like you're
• 11:00 - 11:30 giving this impression to the world that you're like this pillar of responsibility and accomplishment and you're in shape and you're a healthy man but you're bored you're bored you have nothing to do you you're you're almost just aimlessly moving through life waiting for the next major checkpoint and you don't even know what it is and when it's coming and there's are so many guys in that limbo stage now I figured it out I figured it out there's so many ways that I Live Now that that solve this for me and it's surrounding
• 11:30 - 12:00 yourself with likeminded men number one having high quality women in your life that have their own things going on they're busy they've got work you two plan to meet up twice per week you go for meals you go on holiday you do all these sort of things but as a Solitary Man as a solitary individual it was very much like I would just get up and go like instead of working from home I would go and work from a coffee shop you know and in and marath the mindset this is why I deployed it because you just talk to
• 12:00 - 12:30 everybody you just Dro one little line in one little line here and there you just talk to everybody before long people just start gravitating towards you you make friends without realizing that you've made friends you have so many people around you that want to talk to you every single day and you give this impression of having like a buzzing social life the next one was 1M International you know the guys in 1M International there's over 120 guys in there now we've been doing this for a year we've met up in Budapest London Granada we've got a whole calendar planned very
• 12:30 - 13:00 soon those guys I hang out with all the time I mean some of I've had 1 2 three four five six seven I've had seven 1M International guys in this house this week alone and we're only on what Wednesday like that's because do you know why because they're similar where like we talk about similar things we don't go out and get drunk we want to sit and work you know you're sat side by side with three guys working on different things discussing ideas you know you surround your with a great team
• 13:00 - 13:30 of people it's the only way to do it because what a lot of you guys will find is that it's it's like a relationship 90% of relationships fail before 30 when you get together before 30 I would say the same with friendships I would say if you're meeting people at like 12 years old at school and you're like the thing that you're bonding over is sports porn immature humor [ __ ] around women video games whatnot once once you maybe get to let's say 25 and
• 13:30 - 14:00 you want more in life you want something different you you're going to go separate ways you're going to be completely different and I think so many people base their entire lives off who they are when they were young and I think that's what puts them in purgatory because as soon as you try to make a change the old life that you had and the old people that you knew and everything that you were doing before is not congruent with the new you that you've become so now you're almost starting again and it's very misleading cuz it's like nobody's going to be the same 40 as they were at 14 but if you're going to
• 14:00 - 14:30 go on that solitary route and try and Chase success and go down that whole path you're going to have to alienate yourself from people because most people don't want to do it but then you get this second wins where the people that you meet post Purgatory who are very much like you want to do the same things as you so the guys that are hang around with now where I'm like let's just go to a restaurant sit and all have a chat we did this today three of us today we were working on business stuff we went out got a coffee went and sat and had a chat at a
• 14:30 - 15:00 restaurant and we were talking business life whatever having the time of our lives laughing and joking when I was younger that would have been 10 beers that would have been everybody get drunk you know and everybody in that group is in a long-term relationship so it's like when they get home they've got their beautiful misses they've got their kids and stuff like that you know I've come back I'm working on this and whatnot but I've had a social life today I'm with the guys now I'm working so I'm yeah I'm alone now but I have people that I can see all the time people always come and
• 15:00 - 15:30 see me I've got this base here in London which most people don't have so it becomes almost a beacon when you arrive in London you're like you around so like people are coming to you it's almost very good life setup which is a major factor when you're young you don't have that level of Life setup maybe you're working from like your mom's basement or something like that makes it very difficult to be able to you know have that social life and like I said men post a certain age they don't know how to live but if you can understand life setup if you can understand framing if
• 15:30 - 16:00 you can understand the marathon mindset if you can understand the other side of male life maturing quicker and saying I'm going to position myself in a place where the people I actually want to be around are going to be in those places long term anyway I will have everything that I require and know all everything that I named there everything life setup framing Marathon mindset everything that I went through it's so important guys it is so important like the other side of male life like trying to figure all of this out young is important because
• 16:00 - 16:30 people talk about youth youth is like active youth 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 everyone gets on your back and goes you need to sort your [ __ ] out it's like maximum s years seven years where you can really do cool [ __ ] you know from 16 when you're probably old enough to like make your own decisions go out with the boys stroll around date goals whatnot probably 22 where it hits you and you go [ __ ] money's important assets are important becoming a man of value and
• 16:30 - 17:00 accomplishment is important that's where it hits men hard and then they go and focus on themselves but they got nothing to do there is nothing to do men don't know how to socialize like you think Christmas right I was saying to a guy there a taxi guy that I know from my hometown I arrived in my hometown he picked me up and I was like you okay you seem really low I know him from the gym and uh he was like yeah you know I just hate Christmas and I was like mate here's the thing I was like I do too and I was like do you know we hate Christmas cuz we don't drink we don't go to the
• 17:00 - 17:30 pub I was like we don't care for Christmas movies and all the garbage we don't eat [ __ ] food I was like for everyone else it's an amazing celebration it's an excuse to yeah family is important I love seeing family but it's an excuse to live like a bum it's an excuse to wake up late sit around [ __ ] masturbate all day eat as many sugary treats and chocolates as possible you know do nothing watch TV drink beer at 9:00 a.m. and nobody questions it it's literally an excuse to live like a [ __ ] and everyone's going to celebrate you and go Christmas enjoy yourself put your feet up I was like
• 17:30 - 18:00 because we're not like that cuz we don't want to do it that's why you're pissed off cuz you don't enjoy Christmas and he he sat there he was like he like chuckled he was like thanks man I needed that and I was like we're in the same boat like that's like-minded people who don't want to do the basics I've said to you guys before the cheapest most fun thing you can do is probably getting drunk no do you know what the cheapest most fun thing you can do is probably play video games number two is get drunk what do most people do you know and TV
• 18:00 - 18:30 they watch TV they play video games they get drunk what is like the other side of male life well the other side of male life and I'll give you a perfect example this house that I'm in right now in London this area here that I've turned into a podcast area filming area if I wanted to entertain that's the aim of this I would entertain so I would put some seating in here I'd put it all around I'd put some coffee tables in some really nice furniture um I would go and get some really nice food I would invite a girl over and I'd invite a couple that I know maybe two or three couples let I know
• 18:30 - 19:00 and there'd be four couples here we'd all be having a discussion get some music playing cook some food up serve it out to everybody small little glass of wine or something maybe or a cup of coffee and then you do that for 3 four hours you're all having a nice conversation then you're like like love you to see you off you go now that might not be your cup of tea yet but in the future it will be I'm telling you like that'll be something that you'd rather do all my friends now that On My Level they're like we should do a double date we should go away as a couple like me and my misses you and you you and your
• 19:00 - 19:30 misses we should go somewhere we should all have a good time like that's what gets celebrated now here's the hard part first of all you have to have the house number two you have to have the cooking skills number three you have to have the social skills number four you have to know furniture and how to decorate it this [ __ ] takes time number five you're going to have to have four or three other couples number five you're going to have to attract a woman you don't have to do it you could have guy friends around and whatnot but just in that scenario you're going to have to attract a woman then all of your friends or the
• 19:30 - 20:00 people that you know you're going to have to meet them get to know them respect them they're going to have to have girlfriends and then you can invite everyone round and have like that get together and have some food and have a drink and have a talk and have a chat and whatnot that's where your social life comes from that's the other side of male life to get to that point it takes a lot of experience a lot of money a lot of hard work a lot of dating it's tough cooking skills it's not easy it's not easy to do something like that my old neighbors when I was growing up they must have been about 50 when I was growing up they had like this massive
• 20:00 - 20:30 patio area and they'd have all the nicest Furniture Cutlery you know the expensive cups and stuff like that and it just felt different it just had like a really good vibe to it and we'd all sit out in summer and they would like entertain everybody they get like the whole neighborhood round and they you can't do that for cheap you can't do that in like a studio flat do you know what I mean you can't do that with just like two bean bags on the floor it's going to take a while to get to that
• 20:30 - 21:00 level to be able to produce that level of Life setup to to enjoy that level of social life this is why guys [ __ ] up all we've ever been taught is Saturday wake up have a wank eat some [ __ ] food watch the football get the boys round have some beers go out and get [ __ ] up try and get laid it's just like you know over Christmas I remember people used to be like I've been out 11 days in a row mate been on it smashed out of my face
• 21:00 - 21:30 about 15 beers a day 15 pints a day and I did a line of [ __ ] Coke just like what the what are you talking about like that was celebrated and people like mate you're you're crazy fair play fair play nice little back like back slap it was weird I remember that so much it was so weird and nobody ever says to men do you know what do you know how to really live do you know how the majority of your life is going to be do you know what the next 50 years are going to be do you know like how high level Men actually
• 21:30 - 22:00 live you have to learn all of this stuff over time and that's why I called it the other side of male life and this is why I think so many men are just living in purgatory because as soon as you get sick of that first lifestyle I don't want to get drunk I'm watching this sports team we like Manchester City that's my team right I waited all my life for us to win the Premier League we did it waited longer to win the Champions League we won the treble and then I was like right next season what what wait what happens now same again go and buy the new shirt and season ticket
• 22:00 - 22:30 go and watch all the games again waste all your time and money and I was like [ __ ] I didn't get anything for that I watched all of that happen and I didn't get anything the players became more famous you know our Center back is now dating my Jama do you know what I mean it's like am I dating Mya Jama no do you know what I mean like you just look at it and it's like they got more famous they got richer everyone got more credentials they got medals the fans just got bragging RS and then next season they expect you to do it again and you look at all that and you go you know what this is [ __ ] pointless I'm
• 22:30 - 23:00 just going to focus on me I'm just going to build myself I'm just going to focus on everything that I'm doing but then that alienates you because how boring are you as a man if somebody goes do you want to watch football don't really watch football mate do you want to go to the pub and get drunk I don't really drink oh you're you're fun ain't you do you know what I mean that's what it becomes they're like so what you going to do this weekend and you're like uh I'm probably just going to stay in I'm going to go to the gym and then just come back stay in just kind of like you know work on this idea that I have okay
• 23:00 - 23:30 and then I'm probably going to go to bed at like 9 get an early night get up and go to the gyms again and then back to work on Monday I'll just clean the house all day Sunday people are just like what the hell are you doing but you're like I'm moving towards something better I'm working on something like this this isn't normal nobody else wants to do it it's considered boring so who do you do it with who do you hang out with there is no one but it's the other side of male life you have to work towards something great to find your people and here's the thing that we noticed with 1M
• 23:30 - 24:00 International there's not many people on that level there's not many people who want to be part of an international members Club strangely he would want to be part of an international members Club you want to travel the world be surrounded by light mining guys want to be in shape want to be super successful and want to chase after something but then when you P those guys together and they all hang out and go and do cool [ __ ] like go and sit at a rooftop bar in summer you know like we all go to New York we do a massive meet up we have a massive meal you know we all sit there and chat about life and whatnot and everyone's just hanging out and going
• 24:00 - 24:30 doing cool [ __ ] maybe we got tickets to a fight or something maybe it's something like Canelo versus Crawford that's something that high level men can do together and you know why because it's it's a little bit more expensive I mean it's all paid for by us but you know that's a little bit more expensive that's a little bit harder to do I know Canelo Crawford's in Vegas by the way which is on the plan but you know you just think like that's a little bit more expensive you can't just go grab like a 2 L bottle of strong sit in the park and just be like last night was
• 24:30 - 25:00 amazing you know the the quality of female becomes higher so then it becomes a lot more difficult to attract you actually need some social skills you're not going to be able to just walk over some tattoos and be like hey come here you're all right ain't you do you know what I mean like that's the level that it takes a lot of guys to get to everything is low hanging fruit it's easy to achieve it's easier to chase after you distance yourself from that you go after more you get put into purgatory and that's when I think men go I've been going out getting drunk going
• 25:00 - 25:30 to University [ __ ] Real Life Starts Now what do I do and you continue for a little bit until you get so bored where you just go I I don't want to do this anymore so then you drop those habits because you know they're not good for you but then it alienates you from your friends who are still doing them so now you're on your own and it's not until you find like-minded people that have done the same and they're all scattered all over the world like I said one M International all scattered all over the world but you find each each other that's what happens you find each other
• 25:30 - 26:00 because you're very similar to one another but it takes time cuz there's not many and there's a lot of guys out there right now that are lonely who are waking up every single day going to work people go it's the weekend yes it's the weekend what's your plans and they're like not a lot really I'm just going to just kind of sit in the house and uh work on my business I'm just going to have a chill one I'm pretty tired and it's like it's not they just got nothing to do but once you find cooler [ __ ] to do like if I said to a woman now do you want to go to to Paris for Valentine's
• 26:00 - 26:30 Day they're going to say yeah right we go for a nice meal we go and watch a show like that's the kind of buzz that I get now whereas a lot of people it's like I remember when I was young it was like Valentine's Day [ __ ] women let's jump on a video game I'd rather be playing whatever than dating women you just get to a certain point where you're like no I would actually rather be on a date with a woman in Paris I'd rather be doing something really nice I would rather go and watch a show in London you know I'd rather I'd rather meet up with a couple that are friends of mine with a
• 26:30 - 27:00 woman by my side and we go on a double date do you know what I mean we go and do something like that or I go and meet her with three or four close friends of mine in the area and we go who are all like-minded who are entrepreneurial and we all go for some food have a little catch up grab a coffee have a little chat you know talk about what's going on and then everyone shoots off the separate ways maybe one person comes with me goes to the gym I need to squeeze a session in yeah no worries mate that's so much more enjoyable to me now like these other things and that's
• 27:00 - 27:30 what's so important like you need to find what the other side of male life is you need to find outside of gaming alcohol porn lying in bed watching TV you need to find what else there is to do because for a lot of guys there isn't a lot to do there isn't much and the two habits everyone does I'm going to work on my business go to the gym that's great and I encourage that forever but then you go what's what else you have to figure that [ __ ] out you have to figure it out now the problem is there's something called
• 27:30 - 28:00 crossing the chasm you use it in business you can use it with everything okay crossing the chasm is trying to go from like we can do this to massive Gap if I get here everything's great it happens in business where you have to bridge that gap between like new popular company sustainable and we can continue from there that Chasm is like I mean I I genuinely think this whole industry's got that chasm in front of it right now and whoever leaps is going to win the entire game is going to own the entire industry but it's making that leap and most people won't be able to do it I
• 28:00 - 28:30 think it's the same in male life and I think that Chasm is once you stop drinking stop gaming stop watching TV stop doing all the stuff that is a waste of your time you start improving that's when you reach the chasm because you go what do I do for fun you end up losing a bit of your social skills as well because you're working all the time you're always on your own everything is solitary and it takes a few years to realize like no I enjoy this more like I used to feel bad about staying in on a Saturday night I need to to go out enjoy myself I'm boring what am I doing I'm getting old
• 28:30 - 29:00 before my time and then as time goes on you go no this is what I need to be doing this is way more fun like staying in and working on a business because then once that business or 9 to-5 job goes to a higher level and you start making more money because that's the chasm the chasm is Financial in my opinion what you have where you live your assets if you can move to like a a major city get a really nice house or something you set yourself up you have amazing life setup you're confident enough now to marath a mindset and talk
• 29:00 - 29:30 to loads of different people you're going to make more friends you're going to have more people in your life you're going to have more women in your life that you can go on dates with maybe one that you know just becomes your wife girlfriend whatever then suddenly the doors start opening up Suddenly you start having this network of people that you can call on whenever you want like I keep referencing it but I swear it's not a sales pitch one him International I meet guys from one international weekly they're always messaging me like I'm in London like are you around I'm like yeah I'll pop down I'll see you for a coffee
• 29:30 - 30:00 you know you have people that you work on ideas with it's just so much easier this is life setup 101 like I told you guys before why the billionaires always buy women's fashion brands or they buy like paor Marci Marciano owns guest you know he just dates all these beautiful women sleeps all these beautiful women all the time he's done it for that reason he's done it so that he can just meet up with them all the time he can have an event anytime he gets bored he just puts a show on everybody like shows up and he's just networking with
• 30:00 - 30:30 everybody it's they like this why rich people host garas and like charity balls and stuff like that it's just it's just to create social events out of nothing but you need money to be able to do this stuff you know by having an amazing business and be able to set these functions up like I've got my own fashion brand now as you guys know the trench coats you can go and get them they're on uh pre-order I'll show you some pictures actually we'll set something up I'll try and I don't think we got the link for them yet it'll be coming very soon but I'll just show you guys some pictures you'll really like them once you I might actually do a
• 30:30 - 31:00 separate video on it so you guys can see them properly so we can go through in detail and everyone can see what we're actually doing um but once you do something like that like okay I need to do a fashion shoot this weekend let me hire like three or four like guys that I know who are you know greatl looking guys or models or whatnot now you're doing a constructive project on Saturday with four guys and you know you just afterwards you're like hey let's go and get some food let's just sit just have a chat let's just you know and then that
• 31:00 - 31:30 night you're going out on a date suddenly you become active in a way that is actually correspondent with your new life like I said when you're broke when you're in the early days of your life going out getting drunk is cheap playing video games is cheap watching TV is cheap there's a lot of things you can do for cheap but when you want more when you want to go after more you need to be more established you need the money to have nicer [ __ ] you need the money to be able to do cooler [ __ ] you need to you need those years in per o atory where you're locked in Saving working on
• 31:30 - 32:00 something reinvesting putting money back into something building up your frame and your body to become the man that can then do the other side of male life the next phase so if any of you guys are sat there right now and you're thinking that's me you've literally described me I'm in every Saturday night I'm wondering what to do I wake up Sunday morning with relief knowing that the pressure's off I used to I used to go to bed 9 p.m. Saturday hear everyone as I said in the start of the video in the alleyway shouting screaming being sick arguing and I'd wake up Sunday morning in relief
• 32:00 - 32:30 cuz I'd be like I didn't do any of that I'm sober I'm going down the gym Sunday's my day Sunday is like a day of you go to the gym you clean the house like it's expected so you feel like you belong in part of the world you feel like you're a normal human being but there was a time where like going to bed at 900 p.m. on a Saturday I felt like a loser summer especially 6:00 p.m. in summer I was like I'm a loser I don't go out I don't do anything I've got I'm not but I'd be working I'd be hustling on that now my life is completely different now I'm probably too busy and I'm like
• 32:30 - 33:00 [ __ ] I could do with a couple days just relaxing but that's what's going to happen to you so be grateful for those years where you're grinding where you're building you're putting everything in place you're not a loser and even though I've probably just described your situation there don't feel a position of lack don't feel fomo because you genuinely aren't missing out on anything that's going to benefit you and the majority of your life is going to be 30s 40s 50s 60s that's when you're going to live that's when you're going to enjoy that's when it's going to be kids meaningful relationships assets holidays
• 33:00 - 33:30 grandchildren you know the strongest friendships of your life the greatest memories of your life going to the nicest places you know the most significant birthdays and stuff like that when you're not drunk you actually remember things you actually remember nights and stuff like that it's entirely different and it's instead of sitting on a video game for hours at end you're like you've spent all that time learning the language and then you've taken a trip to that country with your beautiful girlfriend and you're fluent in the
• 33:30 - 34:00 language that is such a more rewarding experience to me than like leveling up on a video game do you know what I mean so you're going to have those experiences as your mind evolves as it changes you have things that excite you a lot more getting up early for example like you get small wins in the tiny little daily things and it's like with my business I'll give you a good example it used to just be me 24/7 it was boring as [ __ ] now we've got 12 people that work with me every single day on
• 34:00 - 34:30 different things and they're all working on different projects anytime we want we just do a team Meetup and we end up getting one lives abroad but there ends up being like 11 of us together anytime we want we can just organize that and get everyone together that's 11 like like-minded friends that want to be around and then other people because they're all in onei other people find out that that's what's going on and they meet up as well and we end up getting about 15 20 of us hanging out whenever we want like that's what happens when light-minded guys with the same mentality all come together and I think
• 34:30 - 35:00 that's the problem with a lot for a lot of men the masses birds of a feather flock together the masses just congregate and if you're somebody who isn't into I don't want to watch sports I'm not worried about the big game that's on I'm not worried about like you know did you hear about Lily Phillips slept with a thousand men couldn't give a [ __ ] mainstream news do you see what's happening in the news no couldn't give a [ __ ] when you're that like outlier where you live differently you're focused on
• 35:00 - 35:30 different [ __ ] there's not many people like you it takes time to become the man that you need to become so that other men who have become that guy as well they recognize you they look and they see you're in shape they see you're in the gym every morning at 5:00 a.m. and they just gravitate like those two people would just join together it's just human nature birds of a feather flocked together is always used as a negative connotation but it's a positive sense too when it's two successful guys that are like Hey we're very similar you
• 35:30 - 36:00 know or like you're not successful yet cuz we got this in one Mii we got guys that aren't successful yet they're very young and they're not successful but they believe that this would take them to the next level those guys are exactly the same as I was when I was younger and I see that in them so I want to hang out with them I'm like I want to hang out with that guy I think he's cool I like what he's about he's not there yet he's not the polished article but he's exactly my type of person and that's all it is finding your people people and if you're on this channel I've probably described you and
• 36:00 - 36:30 I've probably described your weekends I want you to stick in there I want you to know that it does get better I want you to know that we don't know how to live as men Beyond a certain age even the men that look as though they've got it figured out who are watching TV going out and getting drunk and it looks as though they got a really cool life they're just blocking [ __ ] out they're just they're just doing as much crazy fun [ __ ] as they can open mean fill [ __ ] as possible cuz in reality
• 36:30 - 37:00 they're bored they're lost and they're just filling space it took me about 5 10 years to realize that it wasn't until I was 25 26 the start of the great male filter where I started to see the signs of that the guys that laughed at me and said I was boring were then drug addicts they look skinny as [ __ ] they look terrible I saw them in town I'd give them a handshake n he crushed their hands and it was like you look [ __ ] terrible a couple of them go to prison and you realize you're just filling space you're just passing time with
• 37:00 - 37:30 addictions with buzzes with dopamine filled activities like you're bored you're playing a video game you're bored you're getting drunk you're bored you do some drugs you're bored you sleep with 15 women in a month and it's like you're not actually getting any fulfillment or progression you're just trying to fill a void it's those between spaces like I said people don't know what to do in that middle ground that's where so many men are lost that's why I call it Purgatory once you realize you can't do
• 37:30 - 38:00 a lot of that stuff anymore it isn't as fulfilling or you don't get the leeway you know when you're like 18 and everyone's like go out get drunk enjoy yourself it's fine very much like Christmas once you get to about 22 and people go getting a bit old for this mate for women it's fine because they go I got a purpose I'm going to find a man I'm going to get pregnant I'm going to get married I'm going to you know hang out with the girls their social life's brilliant they know exactly what they want from day one as men with very solitary characters testosterone if you're focused on yourself drives people
• 38:00 - 38:30 away because you don't stand for [ __ ] but there's guys like you out there and once you build these communities once you bring these people together you realize actually you know this is my time to shine like I've always said and I want to end on this for a lot of you young guys that are suffering who are like it's just me I feel like I'm on my own I don't have a social life remember this I'm going to end the video on this life isn't for you yet in the 20s
• 38:30 - 39:00 teens it's not your Forte I wasn't somebody who danced I wasn't somebody who you know like to jump on the dance floor and start popping shapes and certain songs like I realized life wasn't for me yet I never to I've never taken drugs in my life apart from weed it and I just realized young life isn't for me yet my time is later on down the line I know how to live here this is my home turf this age now 32 this is home turf for me this is my home stadium this is where I live this is where I thrive
• 39:00 - 39:30 this is the kind of stuff that I'm good at that I'm comfortable in this is my home stadium it's the same for a lot of you guys life isn't for you yet stick it out wait in there see what happens in the future I promise you it will get better speak to you guys soon have a good one